0:12 salutations and greetings ego hackers
0:14 welcome to today's video and today we'll
0:16 be discussing the second of the eight
0:18 cognitive attitudes the parent the
0:20 parent is a powerful and insightful
0:21 function yet it is very different from
0:24 the hero while the hero is confident
0:26 Dynamic and often prideful the parent is
0:29 cautious Discerning and thorough imagine
0:30 the hero and the parent represented as
0:32 two different people getting into a
0:33 physical altercation with a stranger the
0:35 hero's strategy would generally be to
0:37 come out arms flailing giving maximum
0:39 effort and attack in a blind rage until
0:41 the opponent was defeated the parent
0:43 however is much more subtle the parent
0:45 would take the approach of giving the
0:47 least amount of necessary energy in
0:49 order to maintain their safety the
0:51 parent seeks to conserve their energy in
0:53 exchange for precision why is this half
0:55 of our functions are optimistic meaning
0:58 when we use them they gain US Energy
0:59 whereas the other half are pessimistic
1:02 when we use them we lose energy as
1:03 you've likely guessed the hero is
1:05 optimistic and the parent is pessimistic
1:07 being pessimistic energy becomes a
1:10 limited Source our minds sensing this
1:12 limited Supply use the parent carefully
1:14 in fact in early life our minds don't
1:16 want to use the parent function and this
1:17 is a source of immaturity and
1:20 irresponsibility within the types the
1:21 problem is that the parent can't be on
1:24 all the time like the hero can but the
1:26 parent as we develop it can become one
1:27 of the most efficient and precise
1:30 functions in our personality the essence
1:32 of the parent function can be
1:34 encapsulated in one word and that is
1:36 responsibility the parent has to
1:38 occasionally step in between the hero
1:40 and child who can become optimistically
1:42 Reckless when left to their own devices
1:43 and provide a challenge to the hero so
1:45 that the hero itself can become
1:47 responsible the parent is the source of
1:49 responsibility in our lives let's talk
1:51 about the different manifestations of
1:52 the parent as we talked about in the
1:54 hero lecture there is a difference
1:56 between a cognitive function and a
1:58 cognitive attitude think of a cognitive
1:59 attitude as a slot that a cord is
2:01 plugged into or a lens that a light is
2:03 expressed through a cognitive function
2:05 however is what is plugged into the slot
2:07 not the slot itself a cognitive function
2:09 is the light that shines through the
2:11 lens this means that though each of us
2:13 has one parent function there are eight
2:14 different manifestations of the parent
2:16 function that correlate with the eight
2:17 different cognitive functions there are
2:19 eight different flavors of the parent
2:21 function the implication of this is that
2:23 where you derive your sense of
2:25 responsibility it's not necessarily
2:27 where someone else deres theirs the
2:30 eight parent functions te parent I JS
2:31 and injs derive their sense of
2:33 responsibility from researching topics
2:35 to gather a variety of opinions
2:37 systematizing information and sharpening
2:38 other people's minds through teaching
2:41 and education however istjs and injs
2:43 with underdeveloped te parent meaning
2:45 they either don't use their te very much
2:47 or don't use it well they allow their
2:49 hero and child functions to be dominant
2:51 injs without te parent are likely to be
2:53 selfish entitled to their freedom and
2:55 selfish with their mood istjs without te
2:57 parent often demand that others always
3:00 keep them comfortable and in a good mood
3:01 however the mature development of their
3:04 te parent allows istjs and injs to
3:06 expand their awareness of other people
3:07 te parent allows these types to
3:09 understand others through understanding
3:11 their beliefs they can become proficient
3:13 investigators and generally become acute
3:15 listeners a mature te parent propels inj
3:18 and istjs to gather the highest quality
3:21 information possible TI parent estps and
3:22 entps derive their sense of
3:25 responsibility by committing to accuracy
3:26 this includes testing others Arguments
3:28 for weaknesses and testing others
3:30 characters for hypocrisy
3:32 both entps and estps when their TI
3:34 parent is developed can see through
3:36 others like few people can a developed
3:39 TI parent is extremely difficult to fool
3:41 estps and entps develop their TI parent
3:43 by applying a sharp eye to others
3:45 opinions and to things that the estp and
3:48 entp believe as well less mature estps
3:49 and entps walk around assuming that
3:51 other people are wrong and that they are
3:53 right this can make them extremely
3:56 off-putting however a mature TI parent
3:58 is consistently Discerning with their
4:00 own thinking maturity allows them to
4:01 improve others thinking instead of just
4:04 saying you're wrong other estps and
4:06 entps may ignore their TI altogether
4:07 preferring to become great performers
4:09 who get unending attention or people
4:11 Pleasers who are just looking for
4:13 appreciation these estps and entps have
4:15 pushed down their TI parent because they
4:17 know that if they said what they
4:19 actually thought fewer people would like
4:21 them but estps and entps have to
4:23 understand one thing the people who will
4:24 like you the most are the ones who stick
4:27 around after you speak the truth Fe
4:30 parent isfjs and INF is derive their
4:31 sense of responsibility from
4:33 understanding and cultivating the
4:35 humanity in others extroverted feeling
4:37 parent is aware of others feelings and
4:40 what others value Fe is fundamentally
4:42 empathy a mature expression of Fe
4:44 however does not stop at simply being
4:46 aware of how others feel and Effy isn't
4:48 just about making others feel better the
4:50 highest expression of Effie parent is a
4:52 combination of understanding a person in
4:53 addition to helping them heal from
4:55 whatever pain they have so long as that
4:57 person is ready for it a mature Effy
4:58 parent learns to hold others pain with
5:00 them and with when the time is right
5:03 walk them through it isfjs and INFJs
5:05 with underdeveloped Effy parent act like
5:08 no at alls with their GI child who are
5:09 certain that they know what's good for
5:11 other people this can take the form of
5:13 forcing others to do things that the
5:15 isfj or an infj thinks are best for that
5:18 person but often this forcing leads to
5:21 even more damage a mature Effy parent
5:22 Embraces the reality of the complexity
5:25 of humanity and Embraces the truth that
5:27 they can't help everyone it's okay for
5:29 an isfj and infj to admit that don't
5:31 know what to do for someone sometimes
5:33 holding the space of someone's pain with
5:37 them is enough fi parent esfps and enfps
5:39 derive their sense of responsibility
5:40 from Excavating their own system of
5:42 values and building their own moral
5:45 philosophy fi parent makes the esfp and
5:46 ENFP aware of their own mood and
5:48 emotions and enables them to practice
5:50 responsible self-care through emotional
5:53 maturity emotional sensitivity becomes
5:55 the path that either matures the SFP and
5:57 ENFP or leads them to an entitled sense of
5:58 of
6:01 self-worth less mature esfps and enfps
6:04 who overemphasize their SE and Ne Heroes
6:07 and te Childs overemphasize how other
6:09 people think of them they don't actually
6:10 have any convictions of their own to
6:12 stand on they will trade every ounce of
6:14 moral Integrity for status and
6:16 reputation in their Social Circles Andor
6:19 careers but a mature esfp and ENFP
6:20 committing to standing with their values
6:22 will sacrifice everything so that their
6:24 moral conviction does not dissolve under
6:25 the pressure of social Conformity or
6:27 personal depravity the Journey of FIP
6:30 parent into maturity or stagnating and
6:32 immaturity is compelling because
6:35 arguably esfps and enfps represent the
6:37 two points of human extremes on one side
6:39 are the heights of selfishness and
6:42 depravity which many esfps and enfps are
6:44 on but on the other side is compassion
6:47 investment gratitude and forgiveness the
6:48 implication is that the maturity of an
6:50 esfp and ENFP is vital for the success
6:53 of our race any parent infp is an inps
6:55 derive their sense of responsibility
6:57 from being the Watchers who see things
6:59 before they happen mature infps and
7:01 intps work tirelessly to create a better
7:03 future for others working in education
7:05 technology psychology and many other
7:07 trades I developed any parent shares
7:09 warnings of how to avoid destructive
7:11 paths in others Futures while also
7:12 showing where the paths that lead to
7:15 Prosperity lie undeveloped infps and
7:17 intps either get stuck in fantasies or
7:19 endless Hedonism that leads to extreme
7:21 stagnation these two types can become
7:25 some of the most lazy most apathetic
7:27 self-indulgent and gluttonous types out
7:29 there without maturity I if often
7:31 develop a type of authoritarian
7:34 superiority complex and intps become
7:36 harsh Skeptics who only tear down other
7:38 people but a mature infp and a mature
7:40 INTP they use their any parent to lead
7:42 others out of their destructive ways
7:44 they find the paths forward when
7:46 everyone else has given up looking and
7:47 when these types Embrace their own
7:49 responsibilities they will find their
7:50 way out of their own destructive habits
7:54 as well and I parent ENFJ and entjs
7:55 derive their sense of responsibility by
7:57 committing to realizing a singular
7:59 vision for their own future while infps
8:01 and inps focus on giving others a better
8:04 future enjs and entjs are always
8:06 searching for their future it may seem
8:07 selfish that someone's sense of
8:09 responsibility comes from building their
8:11 own future but the reality is that most
8:13 people don't know what they want seeing
8:14 the examples of a responsible an i
8:16 parent demonstrates to the rest of the
8:18 world what is possible for a single
8:20 person to achieve less developed enfjs
8:22 and entjs are impulsive and don't
8:23 account for the consequences of their
8:25 actions they may be covertly arrogant
8:27 people Pleasers or greedy status-seeking
8:30 Achievers lacking any substance purpose
8:31 but when these types wrap themselves
8:33 into their Vision they become powerful
8:35 leaders who Inspire others through the
8:37 power of their purpose enfjs and entjs
8:39 show us what is possible through the
8:40 fire of willpower and the maturity of
8:43 careful planning SE parent isfps and
8:45 istps derive their sense of
8:47 responsibility from a combination of
8:48 improving others around them and
8:50 excelling at performing their specific
8:52 craft mature SC parents make others safe
8:54 and comfortable isfps and istps have an
8:56 instinctual sense of the competence and
8:58 capability of others when they are
8:59 mature they strengthen others by
9:01 improving their strength and skill with
9:03 the careful oversight of Essie
9:05 parent less mature Essie parents ignore
9:07 the experiences they give to others they
9:09 may get caught up in scathing criticism
9:11 that damages others instead of healing
9:13 them or they may feel themselves above
9:15 others without actually being in the
9:18 weeds to improve them immature isps and
9:20 istps hold others to a much higher
9:22 standard than they hold themselves
9:24 however when the isfp and istp develop a
9:27 responsible SE they become precise
9:29 accurate and extremely skilled in their
9:31 manipulation of the physical environment
9:32 whether it be building houses and fixing
9:34 cars leading self-defense classes or
9:37 creating art responsible SE parents give
9:40 us experiences that no other type can Si
9:43 parent esfjs and estjs derive their
9:44 sense of responsibility from building up
9:47 their own strength responsible esfjs and
9:49 estjs build themselves on their
9:51 perseverance discipline endurance and
9:53 consistency mature SI parents become the
9:55 people that everyone can hang on to to
9:57 get through the hard times they're
9:58 gritty and immovable through their
10:01 strength immature esfjs and estjs are
10:03 irresponsible with their own experience
10:05 they don't have self-discipline and they
10:06 let their appetite or their laziness
10:08 take them where it wants they don't
10:10 tolerate discomfort and are entitled to
10:12 gratitude and status from others in
10:13 their immaturity and without a sense of
10:16 Duty they become useless consumers lost
10:18 in the pursuit of their own Comfort
10:21 however as the ESFJ and ESTJ embrace the
10:23 burden of their Duty and commit to
10:24 building up their strength physical
10:27 psychological spiritual or otherwise
10:29 they expose themselves to discomfort
10:31 they seek new experiences that enhance
10:32 their skill and build their strength
10:34 mature SI parents give their strength to
10:36 others often to help them through dark
10:38 periods in their lives and the strength
10:41 of the ESFJ and ESTJ is often revealed
10:43 when no one else was there to get them
10:45 through the dark periods in their lives
10:46 they're the ones who survived and are
10:48 stronger because of it how can I know
10:50 for sure if my parent is developed we
10:52 deal with the first layer of parent
10:54 development in our video on each of the
10:56 16 types we will also be dealing with
10:58 more cognitive development and
10:59 integration in later videos videos but
11:01 the core of a developed parent function
11:04 is in learning how to parent yourself we
11:05 have an entire season dedicated to
11:07 exploring how to parent each type and
11:09 how each type can parent themselves
11:10 there are explicit sections in these
11:12 lectures lined out to teach the nuances
11:14 of the development of our maturity to
11:16 check them out visit season 23 in our
11:18 members areas at CS joseph. life/
11:20 journeyman there's an in-depth lecture
11:22 for each of the 16 types thank you for
11:24 watching eackers leave your thoughts and
11:26 questions in the comment area below and
11:28 we'll see you next time when we discuss
11:29 the child function [Music]
