0:10 Society tells us that we should be a lot
0:12 of things as women Society tells us that
0:15 we should be pretty but we can't be too
0:16 pretty because then people will think
0:19 we're superficial and they won't take us
0:23 seriously as women Society tells us that
0:24 we should be the caregivers for our
0:27 children and our families but in doing
0:29 so if we don't find the time to take
0:31 care of ourselves then we are told that
0:34 we are not being the best caregiver that
0:35 we can possibly
0:38 be as women we are told that it is
0:41 normal to express our feelings but the
0:43 minute that we overshare we are told
0:45 that there is something wrong with
0:48 us Society tells us that we should be so
0:50 many things and that we should follow
0:51 the rules that have been traditionally
0:55 set in place for us in mental health
0:58 it's no different Society tells us it is
1:01 finally okay for us to talk about our
1:03 mental health but the minute that we try
1:06 and do that we are told that we are weak
1:07 and they label
1:11 us I'm here to tell you that that is all
1:14 wrong it is okay to talk about our
1:17 mental health our mental health should
1:18 be addressed with the same level of
1:21 comfort and openness as our physical
1:24 health is because everyone has mental
1:27 health everyone in this room has mental
1:30 health but when we talk about women we
1:33 need to consider a few things women are
1:34 more likely to live with anxiety and
1:36 depression in their lifetime and are
1:39 more likely to experience violence and
1:41 Trauma now these women that are
1:43 struggling they are not weak but they
1:47 could use our support to pick them back
1:51 up there are so many women especially in
1:53 the north that are trying to be strong
1:56 for their families and their children
1:57 these women are trying to balance
2:01 careers while with heavy personal lives
2:02 these women are trying to be role models
2:04 for their children because they want
2:06 them to be able to look up to
2:08 them when I was younger I grew up with a single
2:09 single
2:12 mother my mother removed my brother and
2:14 I from a situation that she did no
2:16 longer think was healthy for us and she
2:18 did everything that she could to make
2:20 sure that we had what we needed to
2:23 succeed and grow up in a loving positive
2:25 and healthy
2:27 environment and I know that because all
2:30 her time and attention was focused on us
2:32 that she did not take care of her mental
2:35 health it pains me to know that she
2:36 didn't feel like she could open up about
2:39 her mental health because there was not
2:40 enough time for
2:43 her it pains me to know that when I was
2:44 struggling with my mental health I
2:46 didn't feel like I could open up to her
2:48 because I had seen everything that she
2:50 had given up for us and I did not want
2:52 her to feel like she failed as a mother
2:54 because she did
2:57 not it pains me more to know that we are
2:59 not the only women that did not know how
3:00 to take care of their mental health
3:03 because no one has taught us any
3:06 different I have seen so many strong
3:08 women stand up to talk about and change
3:11 how we see mental health in
3:14 society and on our own we are strong but
3:17 we are stronger together we need to talk
3:19 about mental health so that women feel
3:21 comfortable talking about it and
3:23 addressing it in today's society we need
3:26 to normalize struggle because we refuse
3:30 to struggle in silence any longer
3:33 everyone in this room is capable of
3:35 making that change that we need to see
3:37 because we need to address our mental
3:38 health so that we can be the best
3:41 Mothers the best daughters the best
3:43 spouses and the best version of
3:46 ourselves that we can possibly
3:50 be now change does not happen overnight
3:53 change requires
3:55 work but that change does not have to be
3:58 difficult that change can be as easy as
4:00 opening up the dialogue as as to what
4:02 mental health is or when you're asking
4:05 your friend how they're doing really ask
4:07 them and pay attention to what they have
4:10 to say let them know that you care about
4:12 them and that you are here for
4:15 them we need to do this so that every
4:16 woman feels comfortable talking about
4:18 that and I know that every single one of
4:21 you here today is capable of doing just
4:24 that now as simple as that sounds it's
4:27 really not because of all the stigma and
4:30 shame that is around mental health still
4:32 making that conversation can be very
4:35 difficult but by starting that
4:37 conversation we are breaking down the
4:38 stigma around mental health and we are
4:41 being the change that we need to see and
4:43 I want you all to leave here to
4:45 understand how you can start that
4:47 conversation and there are five rules
4:48 that I'm going to tell you about so you
4:50 can do just
4:54 that one say what you see address the
4:56 changes you have seen with your loved
4:58 one in a straightforward and
5:00 non-judgmental way
5:03 two show that you care when you're
5:05 addressing these changes let them know
5:08 that you care about them that can make
5:10 them feel like they are not the only one
5:12 in this and they have someone that will
5:13 stand by their
5:18 side three hear them out this is their
5:20 opportunity to share what they are going
5:23 through but only if they want to and if
5:26 they do you should listen to
5:30 them four check yourself
5:32 understand that it is not your job to
5:35 fix one fix them but you are just a
5:37 loved one that
5:39 cares understand that you are not their
5:40 therapist and you do not have to be
5:42 their therapist you are just someone who
5:45 is being there and listening to them and
5:49 the final one five connect them to help
5:51 while addressing the change that you
5:53 have seen is important connecting them
5:55 to help is even more
5:58 important now starting that conversation
5:59 can still be difficult and and there's
6:01 still a lot of barriers that we have to
6:03 break through but if you follow those
6:05 five rules you will be off to a good
6:07 start and you will be that change that
6:10 we need to see in our mental
6:12 health the one thing that I want you all
6:14 to take away from this is that it is
6:16 okay to talk about our mental health and
6:20 we are not weak for doing so we are
6:22 strong and we will be stronger for
6:25 addressing it and changing how Society
6:28 views our mental health let's lift one
6:30 another up and allow every woman to feel
6:33 comfortable talking about and taking
6:35 care of her mental
