0:02 Freedom begins when you realize the
0:05 voice that worries isn't the wisest,
0:06 it's the
0:08 oldest. Please don't think that because
0:11 you are unhappy, because there is pain
0:14 in your heart that you cannot practice
0:17 presence. It is exactly because there is
0:18 pain in your heart that communication
0:21 with your inner self is possible. Your
0:24 suffering and my suffering are the basic
0:26 condition for us to enter the universe's
0:29 heart and for the universe to enter our
0:32 hearts. Fun fact is you don't need chaos
0:34 to be tense. You don't need heartbreak
0:36 or danger or
0:39 catastrophe. Sometimes you're sitting on
0:42 a quiet morning, birds outside, your tea
0:44 still warm, and your chest still feels
0:47 like it's holding back a tidal wave.
0:50 This is the hidden genius of the ego.
0:52 It's a surveillance system. Its job is
0:54 to predict, to manage. Even when the
0:56 room is silent, the mind's satellite
0:59 dishes are spinning. What will I do
1:02 after this? What if I forget something?
1:04 Should I be more productive right now?
1:06 We tend to think that the ego is afraid
1:10 of pain. But main thing it is afraid is
1:13 a surprise. The obvious thing is that
1:15 you don't need to predict the future in
1:17 order to be present.
1:19 The moment you start simulating and
1:21 trying to account for every possible
1:24 failure or misstep, the nav steps in and
1:27 starts narrating life. What on earth is
1:32 NAF, you'll ask? NAF is a Sufi term, and
1:33 I'm bringing it in this video because it
1:36 will help you to identify your inner
1:38 patterns. NAF is something similar to
1:42 the ego, but when you hear the word ego,
1:44 you probably think of someone arrogant
1:45 and loud.
1:47 Ego in the way we speak about it today
1:50 is too big, too messy. It's the whole
1:53 scaffolding of me. But when everything
1:57 becomes ego, we stop seeing its inner
1:59 structure. It becomes invisible by being
2:03 too visible. And in this inflation,
2:05 something essential gets
2:08 lost. So NAF is not ego in the western
2:12 sense, but the self before purification.
2:14 There are seven levels of navs in
2:17 classical Sufi thought. At its lowest,
2:21 it's somewhat compulsive and reactive.
2:24 The lower unrefined self like an
2:26 unrefined marble or
2:29 crystal. What I find fascinating is that
2:31 the most dangerous level isn't the
2:33 beastlike naps that make one do evil
2:36 things. It's the subtle one that hides
2:40 behind virtue. the one that says I must
2:43 stay in control for the greater good or
2:45 I have to make sure everyone's
2:49 okay. It's naps in its most deceptive
2:52 form. Ego disguised as
2:55 care. We talk about ego like it's an
2:56 entity hungry for
3:00 attention. But most of the time, ego is
3:03 subtle. It hides in the voice that just
3:07 wants to be prepared. It wears concern
3:10 as a disguise. It feels like care. It
3:14 says, "I'm just trying to protect you. I
3:15 am your best
3:18 friend." And okay, if you don't want to
3:20 call it NAF, then there is a scientific
3:23 term for it, too. Neuroscience calls
3:25 this the default mode network,
3:28 DMN. A cluster of brain regions that
3:29 lights up when you're daydreaming,
3:32 self-reflecting, worrying. It's active
3:35 when you're not fully present. and its
3:37 voice often sounds like
3:40 introspection, but it's really
3:43 repetition. The DMN keeps running loops
3:45 to preserve a sense of self. Doesn't
3:48 care if you're happy, cares if you're
3:50 consistent, and the way it stays
3:53 important is by creating worry. A
3:56 tension in your chest, a faint clench in
4:01 the jaw, a tightness across the back.
4:03 You don't think you're stressed, but
4:05 something is holding on. And then the
4:09 thoughts begin. Small ones. Planning,
4:12 anticipating, replaying. But none of
4:14 them sound intrusive. They sound like
4:17 you. Pain in the body, especially
4:20 chronic or ambient pain. Often is the
4:23 DMN speaking. Somatic echo of the mind's
4:25 restlessness. That ache between your
4:28 shoulders when you're overwhelmed.
4:29 That's a thought your body doesn't have
4:32 words for. Often people carry tension in
4:36 the body. Tightness in the neck, frozen
4:39 gut, clenched fists without a clear
4:42 story. Feels like
4:45 personality. I'm just a tense person.
4:46 But what if you're just someone whose
4:49 nervous system was trained to stay
4:51 ready? And now that you found a path of
4:54 awakening, a path of surrender, it's not
4:57 a surprise you find it hard to let go.
5:00 So how do we this tense and alltime
5:02 ready people even begin to
5:05 surrender? In poly veagal theory, this
5:07 is your sympathetic response half
5:10 switched on, always semi-braced. And
5:13 that inner voice isn't anxiety. It's the
5:15 brain trying to justify the body's
5:18 alarm. Thoughts rush in to explain the
5:21 unease. Something bad is going to happen
5:25 or I should be doing more. But really,
5:27 your body is stuck in an old loop and
5:29 your thoughts are just trying to keep up.
5:31 up.
5:34 Tension is the biography of the ego.
5:36 Wilhelm Reich, the student of Freud,
5:39 wandered too far for the psychoanalytic
5:41 world to follow. He maybe said things
5:43 that world was not ready to hear at that
5:45 moment and it almost got
5:48 lost. He implied that the ego is not
5:52 just an idea. It is a muscular
5:54 contraction. Your posture is your autobiography.
5:56 autobiography.
5:58 The way you hold your jaw, the slight
6:00 forward lean, the way your shoulders
6:04 round in, these are gestures of a self
6:06 trying to survive. They're not conscious
6:09 choices. They're residues. A collection
6:12 of reflexes sculpted by
6:14 emotion. Your nervous system remembers
6:17 everything your mind has dismissed. Most
6:20 navs aren't proud or greedy. Most navs
6:22 are afraid. They're trying to hold the
6:24 world still so that nothing surprising
6:28 can happen. They live in your diaphragm,
6:31 your solar plexus, your neck. They want
6:34 predictability and the body is their
6:36 architecture. So when you sit on the
6:38 couch and start thinking about the
6:41 future, your body braces, your back
6:44 tenses, your jaw locks, nothing is
6:46 happening, but your imagined self is
6:49 under siege. The usual meditation
6:52 instruction is to rest as awareness. But
6:55 that only makes sense once you realize
6:57 awareness has been clenched into a
7:01 shape. A shape that feels like you. So
7:03 when you try to be still, your body
7:06 aches. You think meditation isn't
7:08 working, but really you're just meeting
7:11 the architecture of the ego in fasia, in
7:14 breath, in subtle
7:16 tension. The ego wears pain like
7:20 clothing. The quiet anxiety, that sense
7:22 of needing to plan ahead, to stay alert.
7:25 As tricky as it sounds, ego doesn't come
7:28 as a villain. It comes as care, as
7:31 responsibility, as vigilance. But it's
7:34 the same ego. Afraid of stillness,
7:36 afraid of
7:38 surrender. Start by watching when your
7:41 body hardens. Not during some traumatic
7:43 event or mentally hard days, but in
7:46 daily life, too.
7:48 The problem isn't the voice in the head,
7:50 but the belief that this voice is the
7:53 only one worth listening to. And this
7:56 belief that thought equals self is
7:59 reinforced both through mental loops and
8:02 through bodily tension. The very muscles
8:05 of the face and spine participate in
8:07 this illusion of control. So the real
8:10 invitation isn't to kill the ego or even
8:12 to quiet the mind. It's to soften the
8:15 body where the ego hides best.
8:18 in subtle bracing and constant physical
8:20 editing of presence. The illusion of
8:23 control lives in the muscle before it
8:25 lives in the thought. And perhaps the
8:27 clearest sign that you're close to the
8:29 natural self isn't some mystical
8:31 experience. But the moment you stop
8:34 preparing and let reality happen without
8:37 you needing to hold it
8:39 together. This is the art of not
8:42 defending yourself from the moment. We
8:44 are taught that vigilance is wisdom.
8:47 that only the alert survive. But
8:49 spiritually that same alertness often
8:52 becomes the very wall between you and
8:54 the living
8:57 current. Most people are not tense
9:00 because life is hard. They are tense
9:03 because they are trying constantly to
9:04 outthink the
9:08 now. Every part of them leans forward,
9:10 tries to get ahead of the next thing or
9:13 folds inward in defense. To relax
9:15 spiritually is not to go limp. It is to
9:18 stop negotiating with life. To stop
9:20 strategizing and positioning yourself.
9:23 It is to unclench not just the fists and
9:26 jaw but the story of who you think you
9:28 need to be in this
9:31 moment. The Sufi mystics often spoke of
9:34 tawakul trust in the divine. When the
9:37 body believes in the mystery it softens.
9:39 This is different from laziness or
9:43 pacivity. This softness is deeply alive.
9:45 It means allowing experience to touch
9:48 you without needing to shield and label
9:51 and shape it. Non-meditation is a
9:54 similar thing. The moment the observer
9:56 dissolves and awareness simply is.
9:59 Nothing is being manipulated. Thoughts
10:03 pass, feelings pass. Relaxation is not a
10:05 reward for healing. It is the condition
10:08 that allows healing to
10:12 start. And it begins with the body. A
10:14 subtle shift. The shoulders drop. The
10:17 breath deepens. The spine is no longer
10:20 armored like a weapon. When you no
10:22 longer need to deserve peace. You stop
10:24 gripping the world like it's a problem
10:27 to solve. You allow mystery in. In this
10:29 relaxation, there is a deeper
10:32 intelligence not born of effort, but of
10:35 coherence with life. You don't force the
10:38 flower open. You make space and it blooms.
10:39 blooms.
10:42 The same is true for your being. When
10:44 you relax completely, you begin to
10:46 remember who you were before you were
10:48 taught to
10:51 contract. Please don't run away from
10:54 your suffering. Embrace it and cherish
10:57 it. Go to the inner self, sit with it,
10:59 and show it your pain. It will look at
11:01 you with loving kindness, compassion,
11:03 and mindfulness, and show you ways to
11:05 embrace your suffering and look deeply
11:07 into it. With understanding and
11:09 compassion, you will be able to heal the
11:11 wounds in your heart and the wounds in
11:14 the world. The Buddha called suffering a
11:17 holy truth because our suffering has the
11:20 capacity of showing us the path to
11:23 liberation. Embrace your suffering and
11:34 Sufi mystic Bazid Bastami said, "I went
11:37 from God to God until they told me,
11:39 "Leave yourself
11:41 behind. Leave
11:44 yourself." The rehearsed one, the
11:48 explaining one, the tight one. That's
