0:01 You're living on your own. Then suddenly
0:03 you meet a girl you like. Everything
0:05 starts off well. You talk to her and she
0:07 talks to you and life feels good. You
0:09 start investing more, giving her more
0:11 time, wanting to get closer to her.
0:13 Little by little, you begin to feel that
0:15 she's starting to pull away. Her energy
0:17 drops. What do you do? You stand up and
0:18 put in more effort, only to find
0:20 yourself alone again in the end, and you
0:22 find yourself trapped in an internal
0:24 conflict with your mind. If I don't try,
0:27 I'll lose her. But if I do try, she
0:29 pulls away. So, you feel that no matter
0:31 how much you try to act rationally and
0:32 even though you haven't made any
0:34 mistake, the girl always ends up leaving
0:36 in the end. That's why, let me tell you
0:38 this. By the end of this video, you'll
0:40 understand why. Every time you tried
0:42 harder with her, it was actually pushing
0:44 her away. And you'll finally stop
0:46 feeling like you're doing everything
0:48 wrong. First, you absolutely have to
0:50 understand one rule this world operates
0:52 by if you want to succeed with women.
0:54 This world is divided into two opposing
0:56 dimensions. the logical dimension and
0:58 the emotional dimension. From the day
0:59 you were born, the world has been
1:01 teaching you how to live and survive in
1:03 the logical dimension. At work and in
1:05 school, from the moment you were born,
1:07 you learn that you have to work and that
1:09 you must put in a lot of effort if you
1:11 want results. And the more you work and
1:12 chase your dreams, the better the
1:14 results. But when it comes to dating,
1:16 we're talking about the opposite
1:17 dimension. We're talking about the
1:20 emotional dimension where the rules that
1:22 work here are not the same rules that
1:23 work there. That's why you find people
1:25 who are successful in their careers or
1:27 businesses but fail in other areas of
1:29 life. Or people who are successful with
1:31 women and dating but fail in other
1:33 things because they're trying to apply
1:35 the rules of one dimension to a
1:37 completely different one. So my brother,
1:39 before we continue this video, I want
1:41 you to fully understand that dating is
1:43 not logical. It's emotional. And when it
1:45 comes to women, don't try to operate
1:47 with your mind in that way. And don't
1:49 try to ask logical questions. A woman is
1:51 a human being, not a school exam or a
1:53 life goal. So if effort is the way to
1:55 succeed in the logical dimension, then
1:58 effortlessness is the way to succeed in
2:00 the emotional dimension. Effortlessness
2:02 is a highly desirable trait when it
2:04 comes to attraction. Women are drawn to
2:06 men who seem to run their lives with
2:08 ease and elegance. In the eyes of women,
2:10 an attractive man does everything easily
2:12 without strain or forcing it. And here
2:14 you might ask me, what if I don't put in
2:16 any effort at all? Won't you think I
2:17 don't care about her and another man
2:19 might come along, put in effort, and
2:21 take her from me? Before I explain the
2:23 practical side, let me first explain why
2:25 effort kills attraction. When things
2:27 start going well, when you feel the
2:28 connection, when you finally think,
2:31 okay, this is working. Most of the time,
2:32 that's exactly the moment when
2:34 attraction begins to fade. And that's
2:36 confusing. Because logically, this is
2:38 the moment when you should invest more
2:40 and show more interest. So, why does the
2:42 opposite always happen? Why does doing
2:44 the right things create distance? Very
2:46 simply, because these are not the right
2:48 things. When you put effort into a woman
2:50 in the wrong way, effort turns into
2:51 pressure. And this word is the reason
2:54 for your failure with women. Pressure.
2:55 What kills attraction is not effort
2:57 itself, but pressure. When you put
2:59 effort in the wrong way, you create
3:01 pressure. And pressure is what makes a
3:03 woman pull away from you. So in short,
3:04 effort is not the problem. The problem
3:07 is the type of effort. Here I want to
3:09 pause with you to explain one concept
3:11 that I want to stay firmly in your mind
3:13 for the rest of your life. There is not
3:14 just one type of effort because this is
3:16 exactly where many men make a big
3:18 mistake. When they hear that they
3:19 shouldn't put in effort, they stop
3:22 completely and do nothing then convince
3:23 themselves that they lost the girl and
3:25 that's it. They think effort is effort
3:27 but that's not true. There are two
3:29 completely different energies hiding
3:31 behind the same actions and women feel
3:33 the difference instantly. So what is the
3:35 type of effort you should make and what
3:36 is the type of effort you shouldn't
3:38 make? This question itself is the wrong
3:40 question. What matters is not the action
3:43 itself, but its source. And pay close
3:44 attention now. In the moment when you're
3:46 talking to a woman and putting an effort
3:48 to get closer to her, she doesn't see
3:50 the effort you're making. She sees its
3:52 source. How? If you're someone who
3:55 follows how to attract women content,
3:56 then you already know about that radar
3:58 inside women that I talked to you about
4:00 before. The radar responsible for
4:02 choosing a partner, which analyzes every
4:04 action you take and understands the
4:06 reason behind it. The moment you do any
4:08 action, without even realizing it, she
4:10 analyzes that action and understands its
4:13 cause. And in today's video, that action
4:15 is effort. When you put in effort, she
4:17 analyzes that effort and knows its
4:18 source. What you need to do is not try
4:20 to change the effort you're making, but
4:22 to change its source. And do you still
4:23 remember the sentence I told you
4:25 earlier, and you'll finally stop feeling
4:27 like you're doing everything wrong. The
4:29 problem you fall into is that when you
4:31 try to focus on not putting in any
4:33 effort at all, you often fail with
4:34 women. And as a result, you're left with
4:36 that constant feeling that you're always
4:38 making the wrong move. Because the
4:40 mistake you're making is not the effort,
4:41 it's the source of that effort. I could
4:43 now give you a list of what to do and
4:46 what not to do like most videos online
4:47 and you'd like it and I'd get more
4:49 views. But that's the wrong approach.
4:51 And be sure that even if you memorize
4:53 100 behaviors, you'll still fail because
4:55 the woman doesn't see the behavior. She
4:57 analyzes it and sees its source. So
4:59 there are two sources of effort: fear
5:01 and fullness. Imagine this scene. You
5:03 walk into a room carrying a glass of
5:05 water. Your hand is shaking. All your
5:07 focus is on not spilling the water.
5:09 Every step is tense. Every movement
5:11 calculated. Nothing bad has happened
5:13 yet, but your body is already tense.
5:15 That is fear-based effort. You're not
5:16 enjoying the walk. You're trying to
5:18 avoid loss. The people around you feel
5:20 that tension even if you don't say a
5:22 word. Now, imagine the same walk, but
5:24 the glass is steady. You're relaxed,
5:26 walking normally. And if a little water
5:28 spills, it's not the end of the world.
5:30 Same glass, same water, same
5:32 destination. That's the difference
5:34 between fear and fullness. So, is the
5:36 effort you're making coming from fear of
5:39 losing the girl? Fear of silence. Fear
5:40 that if you don't do something,
5:42 everything will slip out of your hands.
5:43 So, you text her to check the
5:45 temperature. You explain yourself before
5:47 she even asks. You give more attention
5:49 the moment you feel distance. Or are you
5:51 putting in effort without expecting
5:53 anything? You show interest without
5:55 needing reassurance. You lead without
5:57 pressure. You allow silence to exist
5:59 without rushing to fix it. So the next
6:01 time you want to put in effort, ask
6:02 yourself this question. Is what I'm
6:04 about to do coming from fear of losing
6:07 the girl or fear of silence or fear of
6:09 something else? If the answer is yes,
6:11 don't do that thing. For example, you
6:13 want to send a second message, double
6:15 texting. Ask yourself, am I doing this
6:17 because I'm afraid she'll forget me? If
6:19 the answer is yes, don't send a message.
6:21 If the answer is no, send it. And here's
6:23 a common mistake. You hear that you
6:25 shouldn't double text. So you think you
6:26 should never do it at all. No, you
6:28 shouldn't double text only when it's
6:29 driven by fear. And this is a very
6:31 important point. Please listen to me
6:33 carefully as if your life depends on it.
6:35 It can be the same action but from two
6:37 different sources. You might double text
6:39 because you're afraid of losing the girl
6:41 or you might double text simply because
6:43 you want to. Don't look at the action.
6:44 Look at the source of the action. And
6:46 let me go deeper with you and give you a
6:48 story example so you understand this
6:50 clearly. Imagine you want to send a
6:52 second message, not out of fear, but
6:54 simply because you want to. Then you
6:55 remember some advice you heard on the
6:57 internet telling you never double text.
6:59 So what did you do? You held yourself
7:01 back and didn't send a message. From the
7:03 outside, this looks like a good move.
7:05 But if we go deeper, you actually acted
7:07 from fear. Meaning you put in effort and
7:09 the woman will feel that. Yes, I know it
7:10 sounds weird, but this is what happens.
7:12 That's why you exhaust yourself thinking
7:14 and trying to do everything right with a
7:16 woman. And in the end, you lose her
7:18 because you focus on actions more than
7:20 their source. And always remember, any
7:23 behavior or any effort you make, a woman
7:25 will analyze it and know its source.
7:27 It's not your job to know how she knows.
7:29 Maybe in a future video, we'll go deeper
7:31 into female psychology and how it works.
7:33 But that's not important now. What
7:35 matters for you is to always focus on
7:37 the source of your actions. This is how
7:39 you'll control your effort in a better
7:41 way. And by the way, double texting is
7:43 often a bad idea, so it's best to avoid
7:45 it. But in general, the idea I want to
7:47 get across to you is this. Focus on the
7:49 source of effort more than the effort
7:52 itself. So now the question is, how do
7:53 you control this source? How do you
7:56 become by default an effortless person
7:57 who takes the right actions without
7:59 overthinking? Listen to me carefully.
8:01 Now this can be achieved simply by
8:03 framing yourself as the prize and by
8:05 adopting the mindset, I genuinely don't
8:07 care whether she comes home with me
8:09 tonight or not. Focus on being present
8:11 in the moment and on evaluating and
8:13 screening her for her deeper qualities.
8:14 What does she actually have to offer?
8:16 Besides a pretty face, if you're
8:18 constantly thinking about how to impress
8:20 her or win her over, you'll never be
8:21 able to flip the effortlessness switch.
8:23 You'll come across as the one with lower
8:26 value, which means no respect equals no
8:28 attraction. In the end, the real key to
8:30 effortless attraction is focusing on
8:32 yourself and your own interest instead
8:34 of obsessing over how she perceives you.
8:35 When you're comfortable in your own skin
8:37 and confident in your style, women will
8:39 naturally be drawn to you. So instead of
8:41 trying hard to force things to happen,
8:43 focus on allowing good things to flow
8:45 toward you and trust that your innate
8:47 attractiveness will shine through on its
8:49 own. And by the way, if you want to go
8:51 deeper and follow a proven step-by-step
8:53 formula to attract any woman you want,
8:55 I'll leave the link to my online course
8:57 in the description. Now you understand
8:59 why effort kills attraction, what type
9:01 of effort you shouldn't make, and how to
9:03 control the source of the effort you put
9:05 in. You can stop the video now and leave
9:07 and you'll have understood what I wanted
9:09 you to understand today. But I want to
9:11 add one more thing. How to show a woman
9:13 that you have this quality of
9:15 effortlessness. Because if effort kills
9:17 attraction, effortlessness brings
9:19 attraction to life. So how do you show
9:20 her that you're effortless? There are
9:22 many ways, but I'll give you some simple
9:24 techniques you can start applying today
9:26 and see results the same day. The first
9:28 technique, and I like to call it this,
9:30 is be a slave to your watch. Being a
9:32 slave to your watch when interacting
9:34 with women is a great way to create
9:35 sexual tension. So, when you're talking
9:37 to a girl, glancing at your watch,
9:39 checking the time from time to time, and
9:41 then saying that you have to leave soon
9:43 makes a huge difference. This is called
9:45 fake time constraints. This works
9:47 because of the principle of scarcity.
9:49 When a girl knows her time with you is
9:51 limited, she invests more in the
9:53 interaction. That was the first
9:54 technique. The second technique, and
9:56 I've talked about it many times before,
9:58 but I want to remind you of it, is lead
10:00 the exit. When you're talking to her,
10:02 you don't rush. You're present, calm.
10:04 Then you end the interaction first,
10:06 smoothly, naturally, without apology.
10:08 Examples: I'm going to head out now, but
10:10 this was nice. I'll let you get back to
10:12 your day. I have to go, but we'll
10:14 continue this later. No explanation, no
10:17 drama, no fake excuse. Most people try
10:19 to extend interactions to feel valued.
10:21 This does the exact opposite. It sends
10:22 free signals at the same time. You're
10:24 not begging for attention, you're
10:26 offering it and withdrawing it calmly.
10:28 You have direction in your life. Your
10:30 life is moving forward, not orbiting the
10:32 interaction. You leave emotional
10:34 residue. The conversation ends before it
10:36 fades or decays. And that creates a
10:39 small, healthy gap. And gaps create
10:41 mental replay. And that was today's
10:43 video. This has been the Dark Needle. I
10:45 love you, and I'll see you in the next one.
