The content is a candid conversation with an actress reflecting on her career journey, creative process, and personal experiences, offering insights into the entertainment industry and the nature of artistic endeavors.
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um it was also really bizarre because no
one had thought we were coming back so
they didn't save anything there were no
sets waiting for us to come do more
episodes so also it happened really
quickly yes it that's true it came
together really quickly like I think
there was um there was some musical
using the Backlot remember NBC was doing
those live musicals and they were like
or they were like we got to get grease
out of here we're not going to make it
we got the we need the Gazebo back
back
so anyway this is the first time that I
got to sort of tell some of the stories
about how I started out the really
crummy jobs I had and how it got to be
sitting here in this queen's chair right
yeah now what H what made you what was
the first impulse these this is a book
of essays obviously but when you wrote
your first novel what was the impulse
that led you there in terms of like I'm
going to write a novel today I don't
know what okay next
question I don't I don't know why I
always say this but and and it and it
sounds like I'm complimenting myself and
I really don't we're all fine if you
do you never she never does it ever I
tend to pick things up that are a going
to be dissected it by the public like
I'm like why don't I just do a nice
quiet Hobby and sit at home and like
enjoy my puzzle or whatever and I just
like don't I so the the I love I'm uh
Avid Reader I love um books I grew up
here I'm so unique in that I grew up
reading read you can't
even what that's like so because of my
unique gifts being able to string a
couple letters together I um I it was
again in talking about reflection and
just sort of connecting to yourself at
different times
I firstly was in a show that I didn't
have a 14 hour day which was Parenthood
was like a different
shot Filmore girls was like theater
every word as written exactly as it
should be and long long takes so that
would mean if somebody made a little
mistake cameraman or plane flies
overhead or you drop a line you have to
go back to the beginning and get it kind
of perfectly and that takes a long time
as opposed to on Parenthood they would
more often set us all up um in a room
kind of light the whole room and then
and then have two or three or sometimes
four cameras going all at once grabbing
different coverage so you could talk all
over each other you could make some
lines up you could improvise it wasn't
as precise which I think really matches
the the tone of that show it's like a
big crazy family and yes and you wanted
to be very loose um but I just had a
different day of work and I found myself
in my trailer one day done for the day
and I thought now what do I do like what
what do people daylight [ __ ] it was still
still
daylight and and it in that moment cuz I
don't think you know rarely do pivotal
moments turn on a dime
but this was a moment where I I
thought who was that person who thought
I could get to sitting in a trailer on
universal on the universal lot in Los
Angeles like who was that how did I
there's no show business in my family
there was no reality shows there was no
social media there was no nothing to
make me think that there was a path to
follow that it was a logical career path
as actor there was no it and it was just
kind of a blind drive and uh and I guess
I believed in myself but I don't think
it felt like that at the time I just
believed in working hard and got maybe
enough little encouragement here and
there to to keep going but so the
impetus for the novel was I didn't want
to write the real story I mean it's not
it it it just to me it already was a
fictional character almost because it
was so long ago and so I
thought let me just connect to that time
also things had changed so much in the
business like the way we auditioned and
came up in New York in the you know '90s
or whatever just doesn't exist anymore
people are on tape now and they're doing
stuff in their house so it I I was
nostalgic for that time even as
difficult as it was and so that's where
the novel came from yes thank you um do
you um when you decide or Alle to sit
down to do a novel as opposed to a book
of essays is your writing and creative
process different for either of those
here's my writing creative process ah I
should really organize the fridge it
just seems like it's a lot you know what
would need what I need to figure out
what's the best red lipstick because if
you don't have the exact right this is
my process like I'm doing everything to
get in my own way and like delay the
start of working at all the essays have
been a better process for me because
they come to me differently they come to
me as like a sentence an idea a title
rather um and then I I can kind of put
it on paper and let it be for a minute
and kind of see if it grows into
something that warrants an entire essay
sometimes I just have an idea for
something um there's a chapter in the
book called Ryan Gosling cannot confirm
which is which is not no dis on ran
goson I think is fantastic it it was
just this phrase that kept coming up
over this booking that he had a booking
and I had a booking for a show and it
and it had nothing to do with me or him
really but they just kept saying to me I
was like well what's going on with that
and they were like well Ryan goon cannot
confirm I was like I don't know what
that mean what does that mean they're
like well if he can't confirm then you
can't confirm Because unless he's
confirmed you can't be confirmed and
because if he doesn't confirm and they
have to confirm somebody else then you
might have to I was like what and it
just made me think about in a broader
sense like these weird Hollywood
hierarchies that you just wouldn't even
know existed until you got there and
then once you get there you don't know
how to do it like it's it's it's just
these strange kind of um rules or
whatever or you know like there should
be some sort of guide book and that just
got me thinking about kind of men and
women and there talk shows and you know
late night hosts and I don't know so it
it it starts from an idea and kind of
goes from there and yes and also you're
really good at chapter titles too well
thank you you are and I know some come
to you and then they're they don't maybe
turn into essays but the titles are
always slam dunks I don't know what it
is it's just that's this is more how my
brain works somehow than than um not the
water poot
yeah then I mean fiction obviously is is
just structurally quite different
than having an idea writing about it and
and finessing it um fiction requires a
lot more a lot more
lipstick Google searches to like get it
done are there any um similarities to
how you develop a character for acting
as opposed to developing the characters
in like a
novel I think it's kind of similar I I
think the part of my
brain that
is thinking what my character would do
is quite similar to um when I'm working
as a writer and except that then I get
to kind of be play all the characters
and I and then as a screenwriter I think
in in in scenes I think what would what
would this person say next and then I
think what if they surprise themselves
so it's like I I I think I plan or I map
a scene out the way I imagine it would
go between these two people and then I
go back in and wonder if we can't take a
little more twists and turns because
that's what happens to me when I'm
reading I don't know if you guys do this
when you're watching TV maybe that's
just like I've been too much television
I say what I think the next Line's going
to be the characters say and in certain
shows it's just really gratifying cuz
you're always right CU it's like well I
guess well I guess that wait
I'll come up with a bad one but like all
the procedural so like she died at 11:00
11:05 that's not really good but you
know what I mean um we're workshopping
we're work yeah yeah um
so yeah I I know what might be the
logical thing that would be said next
but I don't want that you don't want
that as actor that's that's one way you
know when a script is not so fantastic
you read it you're like I just I knew it
was going to happen that's no fun right
yeah so um can you talk a little bit
more about your Beginnings as an actor
in like theater and New York and your
beginnings of TV
stuff Miss Graham I just got I don't
know why so nice to meet you I'm very
important news
journalist I'm acting right now too
never met this beauty
beauty
well there's all kinds of ways of
getting started there was like getting
started in elementary school and just
wanting to be in the school play even
though I was like not loud or not like I
am now I was very quiet and shy and and
um but I did want to do you know
whatever kind of theater there was I did
I went to a community theater audition
with a friend um and I got a little part
and then I just kind of kept doing it
you know I grew up in Northern Virginia
but was just right outside DC where they
have so many wonderful programs for kids
and theaters and museums and my dad was
single for a chunk of of my childhood
and I I I don't think he meant to give
me a culturally Rich upbringing I just
think he like couldn't get a babysitter
so he just like took me to things and I
just happened to really like all of them
and so um and then in high school I was
in I my dad always remembers this that
when I first got to LA and I had some
general meeting um the person said you
know what's your experience and and I
said oh not much at the time and I said
but I was Dolly in Hello Dolly in high
executive no his reaction was everybody
was dying I was like oh god I've come to
the Big Town so so there were all these
different kind of entries you know and
and and kind of ways of starting out and
then I did my freshman year I went to um
I got into an acting school I went to
acting school and my high school
boyfriend we were still together for a
while but you know that never works out
um I go visit him in school in Boston
and he was like writing papers and
reading things and I was like working on
my breathing and imagining what it might
be to be a cheetah in the forest or
whatever and I was like huh I think this
is not I think this is not school in the
way I want to do it right now and also I
was only 17 R to college so I shifted
and became an English major so that was
another time where it could have gone
another way you know I was also like
maybe I'll teach I don't know and then
shout out for
teaching and then I got out of school
and um I talk about this in the book I
had so many jobs that still didn't make
my New York apartment rent that this was
in the '90s yeah I had an apartment
where you'd walk in to the kitchen and
then it had like two bedrooms off of the
kitchen and then there were like three
stairs up to the bathroom and there was
no like place to live exactly like there
was no like place to sit down and that
took every job I possibly U could take
and then I went away to school and came
back so it's it it happened in many many
ways and you did Summer Stock as well
right like I did Summer Stock in order
to um try to get my actor's Equity card
the theater Union and but doing Summer
Stock is really they get you to be an
apprentice and you're like wow I'm going
to be an apprentice I'm probably going
to be taken Under The Wing by one of the
lead actors and they're going to show me
the ropes no you clean the toilets and
you literally and you paint the fences
and then you're in like the third row in
the back of the chorus of Oklahoma which
is still an education and still
fantastic but um yeah so I did that for
two summers to get my Equity card which
then I didn't need again for like 25
years until I went went to do Guys and
Dolls on Broadway and the and the
Y bu in
a and the equity rep came over like
quietly CU I'm you know with all these
professionals she was like you're not
actually in the Union what I was like
well I was I mean I was but I it had
lapsed for so long that I basically had
to like you know I had to go clean more
toilets they would on Broadway that's
better yes but Broadway toilets are
actually worse
but right on Broadway toilets new
chapter title for this book
okay now we're going to do a little
surprise round of trivia questions what
is the capital of
Lithuania I don't know wrong who won the
best who won the best picture Oscar in
1998 the best picture
uhhuh yeah that's right Titanic Titanic
Titanic you you lost that one sorry this
gentleman won what does he win he'll see
later that a warm hug um how quarts in a
gallon I don't do this four or two or
six that's
correct let's talk about directing okay
um I was particularly fascinated by your
essay Red Hat blue hat in which you
write about gearing up to direct an
episode of uh when you did an episode of
Mighty Ducks which I call Mighty let's
not let's just Mighty Ducks 2 what the
puck not the
title Mighty Ducks 2 still quacking not
the and you uh you talk about the sage
advice given to you by the director John
turtle toow and can you talk some more
about that or share any other other
vital aspects of directing you learned
while being an actor you have asked me
this before and I still don't understand
the question and I still courts or a
gallon and I'm like I have like a
master's degree and it's really just
wrong that either of those things exist
um I what I learned as an actor working
with director s is all the stuff I don't
like which I tried to not bring as a
director one thing CU it's different
than in theater or film when you're in a
TV show you've been there the longest
like you know best kind of what the
backstory of your character is and all
the what episodes have come in and so
it's not that fun a job in a weird way I
think for for a TV director because you
kind of come in and as somebody put it
to me it's like being asked to make
dinner at somebody else's house house
only with uh the ingredients they
already have and like and and make them
what they tell you to make like that's
not fun you would rather bring your own
you know uh ingredients but um so it's
just kind of very you're sloted in and
therefore when a director comes in and
wants to tell me a lot or explain a lot
I'm like oh yeah no I I I understand
like I'm I'm here every day like so when
I directed on the kids show I just
really wanted everybody to have a great
time and I wanted the kids to maybe I
don't know think of you know kid actors
they're so they're so professional
already it's really it's almost too bad
like you want them to just have a really
good time and um so I just want them
wanted them to have a sense of of play
and um and the other thing about having
done this for a while is you begin to
see you might feel this way at your job
if you've been at any job for a long
time you start to be like I could really
run the place like I this better
somebody's really excited to go fire
their boss and take over um but you do
you just begin to see how all the
Departments work together and what the
difference is when you all have a really
good day together as opposed to not such
a great day and I think it's really in
valuing and understanding everyone's job
so the direct it's always such a cliche
when you're an actor or writer and
you're like what what I really want to
do is direct but it I think it happens
organically when you gain experience and
then you start to feel like yeah kind of
why not me um I just had a little thing
on the set one day which I thought was
something I could bring as an actor to
another actor which is in this show
Mighty Ducks there's a um actress
Stephanie Weir who played Josh Dell's
assistant has anyone seen this [Applause]
[Applause]
show um anyway she's really really good
it is really good it is really good I
loved every minute of it I wish it
lasted longer no I just I'm like I know
what you're really here for so I just
like you don't have to have seen the
exactly oh my
God so Stephanie had this scene where
she's talking into a walkie um she's the
kids have snuck out and she's like going
after them and she's talking to to
whatever and I said who are you talking
to and she goes oh like she knew she was
talking to someone in charge of the kids
or whatever but she hadn't like made it
personal or like made it specific and
the next time she did it it was just a
little thing but the next time she did
it she was like I know well they're out
again like it just was more specific
like she was talking to someone she
really knew and those were just little
things that I'm not sure I don't know
just as an actor that she gave me the
idea and then I gave her yeah kind of
something to do with it and that that's
just a really fun process that's good
actor Direction yeah which a lot of
directors don't always most directors do
not come from acting and and but they
come from film making or you know some
technical experience or come from the
stud dirting DP Director of Photography
or something like that yeah and then
people will say like oh I'm going to
take a couple acting classes you know to
understand and it's just not it's not
the kind of thing you can get you can
get some language yeah but you can't
can't really understand it I think great
thank to easily um we're going to do a
little gear shift and like uh we I want
to everyone to learn about my dear
friend old lady Jackson um who has
another friend called Uncle pea pancake
both of whom now enjoy as they age in
early dinner time um can you talk to us
about how where old lady Jackson came
from old lady Jackson for those of you
who don't know is a character I have
created in order to convince myself that
I'm still
cool it's sad that I had to create an
entirely fictional other character but
it began on the set of Parenthood when I
had CU When I was with Alexis on Gilmore
Girls we were kind of more close in age
and we were playing people who were
supposed to be close in age and we we
always kind of operated as partners and
equals and peers and in Parenthood the
kids were actually young and and they
were teenagers and then we had even
younger kids and I just suddenly found
myself um saying things to them that I
was like wow I sound like somebody's mom
and I am playing their mom so that's
fine but also I want them to like think
I'm like all the stuff that I didn't
have worried about wasn't worried about
is Laura were like people still come up
to me and they're like I'm just like
Laura I'm like L you're in trouble
because because she had like a blast
everywhere she went but like I don't is
that parenting I don't I mean
sure I mean it's it is of a kind that I
love and am devoted to obviously and
like and you know as are some of you but
this was more traditional right so so I
started saying like hey you
know it's I I'm I I don't care get 10
more tattoos but old lady Jackson
wonders if you really need another one
like I just kind of like shoved it into
this old lady Jackson Persona and then I
mean they didn't they they weren't
fooled and like they' be like oh does
old lady Jackson think we shouldn't go
out tonight and I was like
yes so her birthday cake two years ago
for May literally said hbd OJ on it from
May Whitman who played my daughter on
the show who one of my friends and who
refers to herself as OJ
junr because she and I have been in Show
Business for the same amount of time she
started at like two or something so she
feels I'm always like you can't be tired
of Show Business yet she's like I've
been in this business longer than you
soly she she turns into like a 40s
Katherine heer
character well there is a a section in
the the old lady Jackson chapter that is
my favorite part of this this book and
it makes me really happy and I'm just
going to read a little bit to you guys
if you haven't read it yet and I think
this is all very true um it's very
useful to always have a friend who is
much older and one who is much younger
the older friend will remind you what
there is to look forward to and the
younger friend will keep you telling
your stories over again so you'll
remember not to forget them an older
friend will tell you you have plenty of
time yet and a younger friend will make
you forget time altoe because when
you're with them you'll feel even for a
moment that you're the exact same age I
H this is one of the one of the residual
gifts of the work I've gotten to do that
I would not have predicted is having
these friends who have played in some
cases family members become real um
friends and family members and Kelly
Rel
like my mom in Gil Mor girls who is just
such a fantastic actress but also
really uh treated
me with the combination of incredible
respect and was always very supportive
and complimentary and also like a real
good dose of bossiness which people
don't often boss me around for some re I
mean I in this particular way where
she'd be like well he's terrible drop
him like she just like dating somebody
whatever she she'd just be like well I
don't think he I think he's beneath you
I don't think he's worthy I wouldn't
call him again and I'd be like oh okay
like she just so sure of herself and
it's that voice you know she's got that
big deep voice cuz she's actually like a
kitten she's the sweetest kindest she
she just gets cast in those roles with
the matin with a Montini and she's just
really confident and you know she came
up she was in the original cast of a
Horus line on Broadway and she's got
that like dancer mentality boy that that
work ethic of you know we'd be there at
2:3 in the morning and she would not
comp I never heard her complain I never
heard her ask to go home I never heard
her like anything except yes what what
can what can you know shall we do it
again okay fine this reminds me of
something that I've told you before it's
about Kelly if you guys don't mind me
telling you the first time I met her my
friend was doing the play six Degrees of
Separation with her in the lead um in LA
and I went to see them um there was
another actor doing it m Kelly was doing
it this night he's like come to the
night Kelly Bishop does it there was an
earthquake in LA during the show we met
her after the show and we said did you
feel the earthquake and she said
absolutely not if there was an
earthquake I was too [Laughter]
[Laughter]
focused that's amazing that's exactly
how she is and we she we would I don't
know this is a pointless memory you're
welcome but she like we we would have on
these late nights kind of a signal for
when it was time for us to share a bag
of Cheetos of like a little bag of
Cheetos and she's like so delicate with
her like nice nails and everything and
she'd be like I think it's time and we
go get a like bag of Cheetos and have a
dieet Coke and be like how many more
hours are going to be here but anyway
she's one of my friends who I think
about as someone who she's constantly
telling me how young I am which is
fantastic and um she's 80 and she is
like loves to work and you know she's
just really inspiring um so we speaking
of friends we lost a friend recently and
I just want to know if you want to talk
about that maybe share about that a little
little
bit so
um I've been was friends with Matthew
Perry for the last like over 20 20 years
um and I think because almost because it
never exactly worked out for us to
exactly date is why we could be friends
for so long because we had that kind
of uh
chemistry but it didn't almost belong
anywhere except in this kind of fun space
space
of he dipped in and out of our lives and
and um but I tended for some reason to
see him on my birthday he was at um my
40th and you'd always kind of show up
and this year he sent me a birthday card
whose opening line was be [Music]
[Music]
older and I just say it like that
because that's because you can hear his
voice in your head you know and and um
and I was really glad to have gotten to
spend time with him this last last year
because again we lose touch for you know
long periods of time and and I just want
you to know um
that he was he had such a happy year
this year um our books came out around
the same time a year ago and he got a
real kick out of that he was like we're
authors you know he was really excited
about that and he was also so proud of
the success of the book and not just as
a success but as an indic
of reaching people with his story of
struggles and um it meant so much to him
to think that maybe he helped save somebody
somebody
um so but it's really a shock still
we're so in shock yeah sure um what kind
of ADV gear shift what kind of what kind
of advice would you give to a young
actor now starting out
o is anybody an actor in here hoping to
or any let's make it wider because we're
not in New York or la like someone
starting out in they're creative or any
profession now yeah writer writer writer
photographer photographer yeah well it's
all lot it's changed obviously um I have
a friend who is a many years ago was a
photographer and when digital happened
he was like I think my job is gone like
he was like you know he print his own
stuff and everything
so one thing I have been slow to um
adapt to is technology because I don't
like it and just me being like I don't
like it is going to make it stop no but
um so it is being aware of kind of where
the business is but I always think this
um which is any creative Pursuit any
Pursuit really it it should feel like
you're in at least a halfway decent
relationship with it like in Show
Business it can be like you're you're
literally sometimes just waiting for the
phone to ring and at a certain point you
would not take that from a boyfriend why
are you taking it that from show
business like it should give you at
least something so that it's not just
taking from you on the other hand I
don't know what got me through all those
jobs except determination and it wasn't
pleasant and it wasn't um no one was
encouraging me no one was like oh you
had a bad day you're probably going to
end up in Gilmore
Girls nobody said
that and relatively for our business
like I had worked at s night done pilots
and commercials and everything but I was
32 when I got Gilmore Girls and you know
plenty of our friends had moved on to
become yoga instructors or do something
else and I think both are valid it's
like it's not you should be happy in
your day of work you know and that's
really the most important thing and that
is true whether your job is something
you might perceive to be fancy or like
there's nothing I love more than just
like walking into a shop and someone
just doing a really fantastic job at
their job which may or may not be the
job they really wish they had like I I
just I think you somebody said this to
me once which
is do every job as if you're being well paid
paid
which just shifts
your uh sort of perspective to like if
you if you were being paid you know 50
times more would you have a bigger smile
on your fa like what if like what if you
just act as if it's the dream job it
could only make your day and probably
everybody else's day better well I wish
I had had the essay in this book actory
factory to read when I was just starting
out so I recommend that chapter for
anyone who's starting out as an yeah I
just wanted to do like a little kind of
primer on like what is it like what is a
day on set like what what are the pieces
because all jobs it seems to me can kind
of be broken down into like you know now
we fold the sweaters now we sell the
sweaters now we whatever like it's all
there's like these pieces you learn and
it's the same in what we do it's like
you got to get if we were filming this
you have to get
Sam coverage and you get my coverage and
you get a two shot then you turn around
and got the beautiful audience
W that was the one like you know
Shameless self-promotion I gave you
nobody bit
also yeah
sure so it's pieces you know and you're
going to do the same thing 50 million
times and so you just have to find a way
to find the joy I guess I'm going to ask
you this and I ask any of my friends
that have crossed paths with this person
who I'm obsessed with as many of us are
but in the movie one true thing you got
to work with Merill Street
any memories of Merill you can Cher with us
us
yes here's another thing which is some
of the things that happened to me
happened at the wrong time where I was
not uh equipped to this was early in
your career it was the second movie I
ever did and and I hadn't been in La
very long and also it was the first
movie Rene Zer did after Jerry Maguire
and like we would go anywhere and people
were like like losing their minds and
and um so I played her friend it was a
small part but it was a long shoot and
it and it involves the Merl's character
getting sick so it's like kind of has
you know these stories take on a little
bit of the tone of the story so you know
when you're on set doing something sad
it's sad and and what
she two things what she had to do to
prepare I can only really imagine but
there was one morning CU you you come in
and do like a rehearsal um and then go
away and finish hairing makeup and
whatever and they'd light it and Merill
was like like couldn't clear her throat
and it there was a bug going around then
it was like winter in New Jersey and I
thought oh she's sick and it's going to
that's going to really be a hard day for
her and maybe for everybody and then
they called cut on rehearsal she was
like anyway I'm just going to go get
acting it was so convincing
I even occur to me her character is sick
and that's why she's doing it like that
and then the other thing was she was
very kind to me and at the premiere of
the movie she sort of like grabbed my
hand and she said I want to tell you
something um she said as an actor you're
I both kind of couldn't believe she had
just said it and also I was just like
she just gave you a compliment faint
immediately like I couldn't so I went
through this whole experience without
really ever being able to you know grab
her and be like and would it me I don't
know I'm always of two minds about this
I think it's hard to meet your people
you really admire yeah and I I don't
don't really have any advice about that
just don't say
what and we haven't touched on Zoe's extraordinary
