0:02 Hi, I'm Liza Wheel, founder of Gate
0:04 House Admissions. And I'm Jeremy Shawn,
0:07 founder of NBA Mission. And today we're
0:09 reviewing another application essay from
0:12 an MBA applicant who is admitted to HBS.
0:14 If you want to follow along, use the
0:15 link below to download a free copy of
0:18 our book of successful HBS application
0:20 essays. In our last video, we looked at
0:23 Megan's businessminded essay. Now, let's
0:25 take a look at her leadership focused
0:28 essay. My mom's mantra was never take no
0:30 for an answer. The worst place you can
0:31 end up is where you are. Her mantra
0:33 helped when I received an email from
0:36 grenell.edu in spring 2020 encouraging
0:38 students to fulfill requirements or
0:40 pursue additional credentials amid
0:42 lockdowns and canceled internships. But at
0:44 at
0:46 $1,873 per credit hour, the cost was
0:48 prohibitive for those of us on
0:50 need-based aid. Frustrated, I launched a
0:53 campuswide petition garnering 500 plus
0:55 signatures and a meeting with the dean.
0:58 I highlighted peer universities reduced
0:59 fees and was proud when the
1:01 administration relented and applied
1:03 need-based aid. It was invigorating to
1:05 champion something I believed would give
1:07 more students access. Later in private
1:09 equity, the no was more subtle. I
1:11 noticed a few of our female partners
1:13 struggling to speak up in investment
1:15 committee. If they lack support, what
1:17 about us juniors? Upon chatting, I was
1:19 relieved others shared my frustrations.
1:21 I mobilized resources and secured funds
1:23 from our CEO for women's lunches and we
1:25 engaged the male partners to discuss how
1:27 March Madness and and cigar tastings
1:29 excluded us. There was push back. Junior
1:31 males felt excluded from the lunches,
1:33 but that spurred more conversations and
1:36 lunch invitations. Now, as senior women
1:37 secure presentation time for junior
1:39 women and include us in network heavy
1:42 industry events, we view every no as an
1:43 opportunity to collectively achieve a
1:46 yes. I aspire to create environments
1:47 where everyone can thrive, ensuring
1:49 barriers are dismantled and
1:51 opportunities are accessible to all.
1:54 Okay, Jeremy, what do you like here?
1:55 It's interesting. One of the things that
1:56 I actually really like here is one of
1:58 the things I traditionally do not like
2:00 in essays, and that is I don't like
2:03 quotes that often. Uh, and it's often
2:05 because the quote is just it's just
2:07 there as a device. It's not really
2:10 inspiring. It's not really inspiring the
2:12 the essay itself. you know, it's some,
2:15 oh, the, you know, Daly Lama said or or
2:17 President Roosevelt just once said or
2:19 whatever it might be. It's it's often, I
2:21 think, there is advice maybe to help the
2:22 individual feel like they're better
2:25 educated or better read. In this case,
2:27 it's it's actually like Dr. Seussian
2:29 advice. It's very simple and it's very
2:32 appealing and um and it does inspire the
2:34 the purpose of the essay. And so, there
2:36 are always exceptions to rules and and I
2:39 think I think this one's great. Yeah, I
2:40 like it. I totally agree with you. I'm
2:42 I'm with you. I sometimes feel like
2:45 people use a quote to sort of use a
2:49 metaphor or or um some sort of compare
2:50 and and it's like no, just talk about
2:53 you. But this I like we almost get a
2:54 little bit of a sense of her mother as
2:56 being, you know, a little bit of a
2:58 fighter. Yeah. Some some of the again
2:59 this is an essay that's really
3:03 substantively driven by her actions and
3:06 and by impact like you know the story of
3:09 look the the world is is changing very
3:11 quickly and a lot of people are trying
3:15 to figure things out and not a lot of
3:16 people are taking are taking action on
3:18 behalf of others. people are, you know,
3:19 totally understandably in the world of
3:20 co people are just kind of trying to
3:21 figure out how how to take care of
3:23 themselves. And here's someone who's
3:24 saying, "No, we've got to do things
3:26 differently than a massive institution
3:29 is, you know, is trying to is trying to
3:30 force upon us and they might be taking
3:32 the wrong path." And like I think that
3:35 there's a real power. You have to have
3:36 lived this experience. But I think
3:38 there's a real power in saying look you
3:41 know I'm a voice who is going to you
3:43 know the tide is uh we can use the uh
3:45 the famous uh Lincoln quote for this
3:47 one. You know you know matters of style
3:48 go with the flow. I'm screwing it up but
3:49 I think it's a matter of style go with
3:51 the flow. In matters of principle stand
3:53 like a rock. and uh and she's standing
3:55 like a rock and and she's she's saying
3:57 like everyone was everyone was moving in
3:58 all sorts of directions but I saw
4:00 through it all and I said no things had
4:02 to be different and then I mobilized at
4:05 a small college 500 people and I
4:08 influenced change in that environment so
4:09 you don't need to have a lot in that
4:11 story other than the story itself it's a
4:13 good story and for anyone who's watching
4:16 saying oh yeah well you know but I don't
4:17 have that story you you you have a
4:18 different story or maybe you don't have
4:20 to have that precise story maybe that's
4:22 not the story you showcase but in this
4:24 She lived it. She has that story.
4:27 Doesn't need to, you know, play it up in
4:28 any way because it's inherently
4:30 powerful. Yeah. I also want to, you
4:32 know, thinking back to her
4:33 business-minded essay where she spoke
4:36 about her goals of wanting to really
4:39 help people take more control of their
4:42 own healthcare. And and I feel like now,
4:44 even though this this essay wasn't on
4:46 that topic at all, we start to really
4:48 see her as somebody who is who's a bold
4:50 thinker, not afraid of kind of going out
4:53 there. And it it's nice. The essays are
4:55 completely different topics, but you
4:57 start to see where the essays
4:59 themselves, the themes. Here we see see
5:02 somebody who is she'll take initiative,
5:04 she will round up the troops, she will
5:07 speak her mind. Okay. Now, we start to
5:09 even believe more that she can hit the
5:11 goals that she presented in that first
5:13 essay. Yeah. And again, she reinforces
5:14 it through action. She talks about
5:16 advocacy for women and traditionally
5:18 male-dominated environment. She even
5:20 talks about resistance from other male
5:22 uh counterparts, other male colleagues
5:24 who are feeling left out and how she
5:25 thoughtfully, you know, tries to balance
5:28 some of that. And yeah, you get a sense,
5:29 I think you're saying you get a sense of
5:31 her as an advocate and I get a sense of
5:34 her as very principled and not afraid.
5:36 like it's tough to stand up in an it's
5:37 it's not as hard to stand up in an
5:39 environment like a college because
5:41 there's less personally at risk for like
5:42 rocking the boat. You're trying to do
5:44 the right thing and and but here in a in
5:46 a in a professional environment to stand
5:47 up and say we need to do things
5:49 differently and I'm going to lead that.
5:50 There's a little bit of risk associated
5:51 with that. You know, maybe you're
5:53 perceived as a rabble rouser. Maybe your
5:55 recommendation is a you know for when
5:56 you leave or for business school if it
5:58 doesn't go well if you're seen as trying
6:00 to rock the boat, you know, doesn't
6:01 matter to her. She's like, I'm doing
6:03 what's right and I'm sticking with that.
6:06 And when you think about a school where
6:08 you know they wanna they want to know
6:10 that like when the chips are down when
6:13 the economy when people are are during
6:15 the financial crisis theoretically when
6:17 when too many too many uh business
6:20 people were approving bad mortgages or
6:21 um you know that type of thing that
6:23 someone's going to say no like I'm the
6:24 individual who's going to be doing the
6:27 right thing. Yeah. And um and so this is
6:28 the type of person we feel like Yeah.
6:30 We're getting a strong sense of of her
6:33 as like Yeah. I'm I'm I know who I am
6:35 and I know what my limits are and I know
6:37 when I stand up that's a good person to
6:38 have in a business school class. Yeah.
6:40 And I'll end with one point is I also
6:42 liked what you were just saying about
6:43 her willingness to stand up. She was
6:45 also standing up for people above her,
6:48 not just for her junior peers, but she
6:51 saw the women, the female partners at
6:53 the firm struggling to speak up. And
6:56 she, you know, took that upon herself as
7:00 a very junior person at the firm to
7:02 create change. So, you know, that is I
7:05 don't somebody who's sort of, you know,
7:06 not only thinking about people that are
7:08 following in her footsteps, but how can
7:12 she help the people who are more more
7:13 experienced than she is and that's
7:15 really compelling as well. I think she
7:16 did a really nice job of bringing us the
7:19 reader into her world and helping us
7:21 understand what motivates her. Right. I
7:23 think it's a super point. I think the
7:25 idea that someone can lead across all
7:27 sorts of different levels again as long
7:29 as it's credible it's it's it's quite
7:32 impressive to a business school and um
7:33 you know I think that she comes across
7:36 overall across two across two essays now
7:39 super likable determined um you know
7:42 individual who again is is there's a
7:44 humil humility about her regardless
7:45 because she's not there's no bragging
7:47 she's not like and I was awesome and
7:49 everyone was was slap me on the back
7:50 saying like well done you've changed
7:52 this environment for women we understand
7:54 that without her to say that and so
7:57 she's just as I love letting the story
7:59 do the work and we can draw that
8:01 inference that she's pretty awesome.
8:03 Well, now I'm excited to see her next
8:05 essay and that is what we will review in
8:08 the next session. We'll see her growth
8:10 oriented essay. So stay tuned and be
8:12 sure to download her book. The link is
8:14 below for more examples of real essays
