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Goals in 2022 // SIDE HUSSELEN NO. 20
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hello there and welcome back to the
closet historian and back to my series
side hustling where i talk about myself
a little bit more get a little bit more
personal talk about my various side
hustles my trying to make both being a
creator here online a career and also
talk about writing which is something i
do on the side as a bit of a side hustle
still although side hustle does seem to
imply that you're making a little bit of
money doing something and i'm not making
any money doing any writing as of yet
but maybe one day every year i try and
make a video of my goals for the next
year ahead so this will be my goals for
2022. i don't really do journaling or
diary entries or anything like that so
these vlogs each year are really the
only way that i keep track or like um
even make notes about what my specific
goals might be for the next year it's
not something that's like required and
new year's resolutions are kind of like
a hot button topic of like whether or
not you know it's a worthwhile activity
at all but these videos where i'm
allowed to kind of just brainstorm about
what i'm looking forward to in the year
ahead what i would like to achieve or
the only time i really spend doing that
um is me making it work means that it
will get done which you'll see why when
i go over my some of my hang ups here
but i do have my notes here on my trusty
tablet and my first goal for the next year
year
is plan better aka
take weekends now i am in the very lucky
and privileged club of people who do
what they love as their day job i get to
teach sewing here on the channel
basically just experiment with making
new projects making costumes be creative
and that is my day job now thanks to all
of you your support here on the channel
and my patrons of course who make that
possible really pay my salary so that
this can be my job and it is remarkable
to me that this gets to be my job it is
my dream job really i just would like to
add slash author on the end of it
sometime but i'll get into that in a
minute but classically because i love
what i do you can't get me to stop doing
it which means i'm not the best at
taking weekends or planning in like time
to be human so like things like laundry
or like spring cleaning days or days out
with friends actually spending time to
find a therapist and get the help i
might need or booking health
appointments in general uh you know just
doing relaxing uh reading napping those
kind of things i don't really schedule
in enough time in my work schedule for
that because i schedule every single day
or i schedule tasks for work for videos
for creating what i need to create for
videos every day i don't leave myself
any breaks
or like days off in that and it occurs
to me that one of the reasons that
people like aspire to be self-employed
like i am is so that they can like make
their own schedule and hypothetically
they can have more free time actually
and i don't schedule any of that
so maybe i should try it the only time i
really take a full day off like what a
normal like saturday like or sunday um
day off would be if i like do plan
something with a friend or if i have
overworked myself and i become so
exhausted that my to-do list becomes
literally overwhelming and i like start
messing up on things i'm working on
because i'm too burnt out then i will
eventually take a day off to just like
sleep um because i've like burnt myself
out physically even look like mentally i
feel like i could keep going like i
start like fumbling things and like i
can tell when i'm like screwing things
up that i just need to like have a reset
and so i'll take take a day off more
just like give up and go back to bed and
every once in a while that does happen
to me like every few months i'll have
like a burnt out day where i almost feel
sick and just have to go to bed which
would be nice to avoid which of course
when i do have to take those kind of
like emergency reset days it does throw
my schedule into even more disarray and
puts me more more behind so then i have
to like have more anxiety about the
whole thing and my schedule gets out of
whack and again i am setting my own
schedule here so i'm my own boss who
tends to overwork myself so i use like a
calendar app and i book in like
everything i need to do on each day i
usually only have like one task per day
but it'll be like
beat an entire victorian bodice and i'll
put that for one day and think that
that's enough time and then in videos
like this i will make personal goals
like to read a certain amount of books
or to like i don't know do like more
personal kind of things like make
friends or do things out in the world
and then i won't leave myself weekends
or any time to do them because i fill my
schedule entirely so it seems almost
silly to even make goals because i'm not
going to leave myself any time to do
them am i but i am also sort of making
this goal and this idea of weekends uh
as like also sort of buffer time i'm
kind of planning to fail at weekends but
in the best way possible stay with me in
the sense that if i schedule two blank
days like on the weekends schedule
saturday and sunday to not have any work
like to-do list items on those days for
like my work schedule that means if i do
silly tell myself i can beat a victorian
bodice in one day and i don't finish
instead of that cutting into work
because i'm delayed it will cut into
those two buffer days and like then that
won't affect the schedule the next week
hopefully so like when i when my work
extends into that weekend at least that
weekend is a blank buffer space where my
work can overflow into those days and
not affect the upcoming to-do list for
the next week in my mind this means that
when i have a week scheduled for just
like blocked out for writing my tasks
hopefully won't spill over and i won't
have to cancel writing days because my
work is overflowing into that week
hopefully that weekend buffer there can
catch any extra to-do's i may have to do
finishing up on editing finishing up a
project or something and therefore i
won't have to cut into my writing time
that i have scheduled because a lot of
times i will sacrifice
writing days to get my work done because
of course my work is very important both
to me and to my
i don't know like financial goals
eventually so i have to get my work done
but i also have to get writing done so
this is going to be my new strategy in
the new year here try and take weekends
and use them
if i need to does that make any sense
probably not but speaking of having more
time for writing a quick aside i have
had a couple of people suggest i write
for 15 minutes each day or join a
writing group or other such methods to
get more writing done and thank you for
wanting to help me but that is just not
how i work i like to completely immerse
myself in it no rolling my trouser legs
up so i can walk in the shallows for a
second find a few seashells before i
have to go put another coin in the meter
no no i want to be soaked unable to
touch the bottom with the waves rolling
over my entire body as the sea throws me
about until i've got no idea which way
is up and the salt water is licking my
lungs i don't want a brisk little jog
before my work day i want to get
absolutely lost on the appalachian trail
i reread what i've got so far and edit
for a few hours to get myself back into
the character's headspace and then i'll
write the next chapter and then i do it
again and i get so lost in it i don't
realize i've been doing it for nine
hours i don't get hungry i don't want to
go to bed i take several days aside in
chunks that i can completely let go dive
in and only resurface when i absolutely
must return to real life
i can't write for just 15 minutes to me
that's not discipline that's deprivation
sometimes it seems like writers who
undoubtedly love writing of course still
talk about it like it's a bit of a chore
but not me
i love writing like it's a drug because
when i'm lost in it i'm alive i don't
want to micro dose joy
i want to bathe in it for four whole days
days
i don't want a playlist on my way to
work i want an epic festival of words in
the desert
because that type of escape
is worth waiting for but
but
i digress weekends
we'll try it
next up i have
the no buy of all no buys
and goodness knows it's going to be hard
for me um i'm rather a reward-based
creature if i have like a big week of
work or i accomplish a big project or do
a thing or i'm just sad
uh i will allow myself a little browse
on etsy trying to find the you know the
cheapest safari brooch for like ten
dollars and hit that sweet sweet buy now button
button
to get that little bit of i don't know
endorphins from hitting the buy now
button which i know all too well um i
have a tinge of the shopaholic in me you
would never know from my maximalist
nature that i love crap
but um sadly there will be no
like indulgences in the buy now button
for the foreseeable future and sadly
even fabric is quite off limits again
this year because
i'm going to start saving
for a house and i don't know if you guys
have heard houses
incredibly expensive and i even can't
can't afford a house here where i live
now i don't think even if i saved for an
additional five ten years i wouldn't be
able to afford a house here in colorado because
because
that's too expensive psychologically we
could really get into this why like new
shiny things like what kind of like
corvid i am where new shiny things allow
me like a spark of happiness to be able
to like get me through and like
float along um
i really need to get past that anyhow
now that i'm a
proper adult so this is probably going
to be good for me to restrict
shopping i do think like if i'm out at
like an antique mall with friends and i
find something spectacular fine um but
this is mostly a no online shopping ban
because that's where i get into the most
trouble so if i can just stay off etsy and
and
moodfabrics.com we should be okay
so i'm working on that but having my own
place has been my dream for such a long
time um i have lived outside of my
family home before obviously when i was
in university i traveled around a little
bit so i did some university out in
california so i lived in an apartment on
my own there or on campus alone there
and i lived in an apartment when i was
in university basically um but i moved
home after university and i've been here
ever since um i don't get charged rent
so it is a very good deal to live here
especially while i was figuring out what
the heck i wanted to do with my whole
life here and now i've sort of finally
entered into a stable career which just
happens to be youtube which is
i'll grant you strange but now that i do
have a more stable job even if it is
kind of a weird job by most i don't know
traditional standards um i can start
thinking about
moving out on my own and getting my own
place and if i'm going to do that i
would rather not rent because i do have
the privilege and the gift of being able
to stay here as long as i like want to
or need to um so i'm it makes more
financial sense i feel like to instead
of starting to pay rent to somebody else
and paying someone else's mortgage to
save up so that i can pay my own
mortgage somewhere you know but there is
the small problem of it being too
expensive to live here in colorado so
i'm gonna have to figure out where to
live where to move is on my list of
goals i do have a few
like potential like wish list items for
like uh trying to narrow down a place to
live one being that the houses need to
be around
250 000 or less so
that's rules out
most of the country i live in and then
also um there needs to be some queer
people around for me to meet and potentially
potentially
date um then also and have friends in
general i guess a few cafes or
restaurants would be good or like coffee
shops bookstores museums little places
for me to go so i can wear my suiting
out about and i would prefer you know
probably somewhere like on the i mean
the northern half of the united states
in general but like the northeast or
like the northwest and i really don't
think the northwest i don't think i can
afford it so somewhere well if you know
of any towns in new york or pennsylvania
or massachusetts
that sort of zone that you like and that
fit a lot of those categories
let me know conversely if you know of
anywhere that will take me in the uk
or like you know in england or scotland or
or
heck even wales uh i've never been to
wales but i assume it's similar to
england and scotland enough that i would
like it
um let me know because
as annoying and expensive as i assume it
is to move countries
um i love it over there so that is like
the end goal like 10 15 20 years from
now i would like to
move to the uk
we'll see how it goes i ramble
so much what do we have so far um we
have take weekends
uh save up for a house so no buy and um
figure out where i want to live three
okay we got three goals so far next is
these are getting sillier as we go um
take a real vacation so in addition to
taking weekends the idea has occurred to
me that i don't know how to
take a vacation because as we know last
year i went on a very long
big road trip and i like set my like
self so much to do each day so much
driving to do so much stuff to get done
during the day like to see and get
footage of because i was trying to make
videos that whole time i really am happy
with the series that i made field notes but
but
i think it might be a good idea for me
to actually take a couple of days
where i don't film or edit or go online
even maybe at all which
i haven't spent a day off the internet and
and
since i was like eight so it could be a
good idea but i think taking a couple of
days really like off off with like out
my phone no instagram no computer
and just like actually just like reading
books watching old movies on tcm and
like taking
luxurious baths or something might be
kind of nice
speaking of like resets and like
recharging it could be it could be an
interesting idea maybe we'll try in
2022. i also need to upgrade my pc this
next year so that's kind of a goal of
mine that's much more work related or
actually just like practical i really
would like to upgrade my pc it's from
2018 i could probably use a new graphics
card or like video card which is gonna
be like the more expensive part of that
upgrade i might have to buy just an
entirely new pc because of the way
video cards
are going these days because a lot of
people buy them to like mine crypto and
stuff like that so they it's hard to
find just a good new video card on its
own but we'll see how it goes my brother
and my dad both know how to build
computers so they'll help me out with
that when it's time to invest in that so
i guess it's a no buy except for i need
to upgrade get some more ram get some
better processing power so that editing
is not such a chore because editing even
on this pc for video it does take me a
long time just because the computer
cannot keep up with me also related
to my earlier goal of trying to figure
out where to live um i need to start
going to therapy which i've made a goal
for several years now and still have
made no movement on but it seems an
important one to just
keep bothering myself about and that is
because i could maybe use some help
figuring out what i want because i'm not
100 sure
what that is so i need uh maybe a little
bit of help someone walking with me
through my
brain maze to figure out exactly what it
is that i want because as much as i do
want to like buy an old victorian house
you know 30 40 miles outside of town and
live my witch on the hill
you know life
i also do kind of want companionship and
those two things
don't seem
to go together very well and which is
the one that i really want do i want to
try living in a city for a little while
even though it's going to be expensive and
and
not a good investment but maybe it's
good an investment in my mental health
to like make friends
i don't know so this is why i'm thinking
maybe like now that i have like a oh a
practical thing that i wish to unpack
it might be finally time to go to therapy
therapy
but it just seems like
i won't be able to wear mascara i'm a
crier so like it seems like a kind of a
task and you have to like find the right
person and all that blah blah
but i know i should do it and now i
actually do have like a very like real
like pressing reason to do so i suppose
or it feels like it um because of course
my own what like um well-being was not a
good enough pressing reason but like
needing to figure out where to live for
some reason seems like more of a
pressing reason then it's prop as far as
like properly silly goals goes um i have
get a new tattoo again just like last
year but again every artist is like
fully booked and overbooked and like
their books only open for like two
seconds and you got to get in there and
then you have to hope that they like
your idea so it seems like a lottery at
this point but maybe maybe i can do it
i don't know how that got in here god am
i lonely next question drive to moab
again maybe because it's actually pretty
close and there's a lot to see there and
it's quite nice and so i'd like to do it
in a less rushed way also my
grandparents have an rv and they like
drive around the united states so it
might be a very fun place to meet up
with them and check out like arches
again with my family because of course
last year when i was at arches and the
moab area i was there by myself so it
might be kind of fun to share
with my family because we don't we don't
really go on vacations as a family very
much like we haven't in a very long time
so it's only a five hour drive from here
might as well go and check it out again
and the pizza there was very good so
worth to drive drive five hours for
pizza that's worth it you know and then
i do have another reading goal this year
although last year it turned out i was
very optimistic with my trying to
lowball myself at 25 books
no um so this year my goal is 12 books
that's right one book a month can i do
it i don't know but we're just going to
keep lowering this goal until we find
one i can hit but speaking of books of
course my last goal is the same as my
goal was
last year which is to finish the third
book in the series that i've been
working on for several years i'm about a
third of the way through like the first
draft i suppose um but i think it's
important for
like my heart and my head to finish it
and finish that series and kind of tie a
bow on it again for myself just because
it was
this idea this story
was the reason i figured out oh i want
to be a writer the first book came to me
i always say like a bolt of lightning i
wrote it in like six or eight weeks or
something like that i wrote the whole
like first draft it really just like
blew my mind um i felt like it wasn't
really mine that like i had just been
like instructed to write it down and
like that story came out of nowhere and
it was quite complete um and so i've
been working with those same characters
for several years now and i want to
finish like conclude their story i guess
and so i want to finish this book for
them for me
them i say them as if they're real
all characters of course imaginary in my
mind but i want to finish this up and
be able to have some closure with that
story and that way i can start working
on some other things that i feel more
willing to share these first few novels
have been for me and hopefully the next
few will be for the world but it's
possible revenge cicada and book 3 here
have all been just for me and boy it
took me a long time to realize that i
don't have to get published someday to
be a writer but it is true
my heart beats for the blank page i
dream about sitting down to write as if
it's a luxury destination i am
privileged to visit yes but also like an
indulgence i have to earn like a treat i
get only if i finish my other work when
in reality it's not dessert but oxygen
not optional but vital
i've simply got to get it switched so
that writing is mandatory because that
is the reality of my heart but not my
schedule i will be a better creative for
it be more productive and energized for
it both off and on the page and not only
do you deserve the best i can create but
i deserve to feel the best i can feel so
i think it's a shorter list of goals
this year but i really do need to
revolutionize the way i schedule my work
on workflow
because i have had the same similar sets
of goals for the last couple years here
and the reason i don't achieve them is
because i haven't made any sort of
massive shift in the way that i schedule
myself um i usually get what i want to
get done but not the writing so like
i'll eventually i will get my videos
done i'll get my
like sewing and costume or whatever i
need to get done done but the writing is
what gets sacrificed and i just
can't allow myself to do anymore i say
this every year and i'm just like a
broken record but this year because of
introducing weekends and that buffer time
time
hopefully that will make a big enough
shift i might i've never taken weekends
like that i've never built that into my
schedule back when i was working you
know for other people
not self-employed i would pack my
weekends with everything i needed to do
for my side hustles and so when i
stopped working i just filled all that
time i kept my weekends full and then i
filled all the week day time as well so
i just any ounce of spare time i can put
a task on it and i think in some ways it
just lets the task build up because life
happens and so not every task gets
achieved and then they just build up and
build up and build up and then my
writing time gets sacrificed to fill in
all those tasks
so i have to build in buffer time to
both absorb some of those tasks that
don't get done during the week and also
maybe just
hopefully some will you know allow me to
rest a little bit as well weird idea so
even though i have some specific and
some rather large goals for 2022 what i
really want to do is my best like the
best i can
to create a lot but also to
eventually learn how to take some rest
as well and to figure out what my next
steps are going to be i never
in some ways i didn't expect to get to
this place where i can
take kind of like a measure
of what i want to do next it's weird to
be in a stable enough place with my job
thanks to all of you and thanks to my
patrons for supporting me that i can
think about like oh my goodness what
comes next what do i want to do
with my life now that i have this
foundation that you have given me um so
thank you and know that i know know that
i know how lucky i am to even be in this
position of course i am super privileged
and lucky not just because i can live
here at home for free and save up for a
down payment um but also because all of
you have given me the gift of being able
to be creative as my day job and as my
side hustle and
not everyone has afforded that gift and
i do look at it as a huge opportunity
and one that i don't want to waste of
course i'll be back to sewing and
creating here on the channel for you
soon but not this next week because this
next week well you'll have videos but i
will be off writing or as i prefer
nearly drowning an absolutely huge thank
you to rhonda che beatrice lacey nancy
anna brienne carol michelle
michelle
margaret rachamus lynn
ellen myrna karina lillit swingularity
tracy denise
fern samantha eloquent silence michaela
kelly audra alice margot rachel tom renee
renee
amy and maria you make my work and my
dreams possible and thank you so much
for your support and thank you to all of
my patrons and all of you who watch my videos
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