0:01 hello there and welcome back to the
0:03 closet historian and back to my series
0:05 side hustling where i talk about myself
0:06 a little bit more get a little bit more
0:08 personal talk about my various side
0:10 hustles my trying to make both being a
0:12 creator here online a career and also
0:14 talk about writing which is something i
0:16 do on the side as a bit of a side hustle
0:17 still although side hustle does seem to
0:19 imply that you're making a little bit of
0:21 money doing something and i'm not making
0:23 any money doing any writing as of yet
0:25 but maybe one day every year i try and
0:27 make a video of my goals for the next
0:28 year ahead so this will be my goals for
0:31 2022. i don't really do journaling or
0:32 diary entries or anything like that so
0:34 these vlogs each year are really the
0:36 only way that i keep track or like um
0:38 even make notes about what my specific
0:39 goals might be for the next year it's
0:40 not something that's like required and
0:42 new year's resolutions are kind of like
0:44 a hot button topic of like whether or
0:46 not you know it's a worthwhile activity
0:47 at all but these videos where i'm
0:49 allowed to kind of just brainstorm about
0:50 what i'm looking forward to in the year
0:51 ahead what i would like to achieve or
0:53 the only time i really spend doing that
0:56 um is me making it work means that it
0:58 will get done which you'll see why when
1:00 i go over my some of my hang ups here
1:02 but i do have my notes here on my trusty
1:05 tablet and my first goal for the next year
1:06 year
1:08 is plan better aka
1:11 take weekends now i am in the very lucky
1:13 and privileged club of people who do
1:16 what they love as their day job i get to
1:17 teach sewing here on the channel
1:19 basically just experiment with making
1:21 new projects making costumes be creative
1:23 and that is my day job now thanks to all
1:25 of you your support here on the channel
1:27 and my patrons of course who make that
1:29 possible really pay my salary so that
1:31 this can be my job and it is remarkable
1:33 to me that this gets to be my job it is
1:35 my dream job really i just would like to
1:37 add slash author on the end of it
1:39 sometime but i'll get into that in a
1:41 minute but classically because i love
1:43 what i do you can't get me to stop doing
1:45 it which means i'm not the best at
1:47 taking weekends or planning in like time
1:51 to be human so like things like laundry
1:54 or like spring cleaning days or days out
1:56 with friends actually spending time to
1:58 find a therapist and get the help i
1:59 might need or booking health
2:02 appointments in general uh you know just
2:05 doing relaxing uh reading napping those
2:06 kind of things i don't really schedule
2:08 in enough time in my work schedule for
2:10 that because i schedule every single day
2:13 or i schedule tasks for work for videos
2:14 for creating what i need to create for
2:16 videos every day i don't leave myself
2:17 any breaks
2:20 or like days off in that and it occurs
2:22 to me that one of the reasons that
2:24 people like aspire to be self-employed
2:26 like i am is so that they can like make
2:27 their own schedule and hypothetically
2:30 they can have more free time actually
2:33 and i don't schedule any of that
2:35 so maybe i should try it the only time i
2:37 really take a full day off like what a
2:40 normal like saturday like or sunday um
2:42 day off would be if i like do plan
2:45 something with a friend or if i have
2:46 overworked myself and i become so
2:48 exhausted that my to-do list becomes
2:50 literally overwhelming and i like start
2:51 messing up on things i'm working on
2:53 because i'm too burnt out then i will
2:55 eventually take a day off to just like
2:58 sleep um because i've like burnt myself
3:00 out physically even look like mentally i
3:01 feel like i could keep going like i
3:03 start like fumbling things and like i
3:04 can tell when i'm like screwing things
3:06 up that i just need to like have a reset
3:08 and so i'll take take a day off more
3:11 just like give up and go back to bed and
3:12 every once in a while that does happen
3:13 to me like every few months i'll have
3:15 like a burnt out day where i almost feel
3:17 sick and just have to go to bed which
3:19 would be nice to avoid which of course
3:20 when i do have to take those kind of
3:22 like emergency reset days it does throw
3:24 my schedule into even more disarray and
3:26 puts me more more behind so then i have
3:27 to like have more anxiety about the
3:29 whole thing and my schedule gets out of
3:31 whack and again i am setting my own
3:33 schedule here so i'm my own boss who
3:36 tends to overwork myself so i use like a
3:38 calendar app and i book in like
3:39 everything i need to do on each day i
3:41 usually only have like one task per day
3:42 but it'll be like
3:44 beat an entire victorian bodice and i'll
3:45 put that for one day and think that
3:47 that's enough time and then in videos
3:48 like this i will make personal goals
3:50 like to read a certain amount of books
3:52 or to like i don't know do like more
3:53 personal kind of things like make
3:55 friends or do things out in the world
3:57 and then i won't leave myself weekends
3:58 or any time to do them because i fill my
4:00 schedule entirely so it seems almost
4:01 silly to even make goals because i'm not
4:02 going to leave myself any time to do
4:04 them am i but i am also sort of making
4:07 this goal and this idea of weekends uh
4:09 as like also sort of buffer time i'm
4:12 kind of planning to fail at weekends but
4:14 in the best way possible stay with me in
4:17 the sense that if i schedule two blank
4:18 days like on the weekends schedule
4:21 saturday and sunday to not have any work
4:23 like to-do list items on those days for
4:26 like my work schedule that means if i do
4:28 silly tell myself i can beat a victorian
4:31 bodice in one day and i don't finish
4:32 instead of that cutting into work
4:34 because i'm delayed it will cut into
4:36 those two buffer days and like then that
4:38 won't affect the schedule the next week
4:41 hopefully so like when i when my work
4:43 extends into that weekend at least that
4:45 weekend is a blank buffer space where my
4:47 work can overflow into those days and
4:50 not affect the upcoming to-do list for
4:52 the next week in my mind this means that
4:54 when i have a week scheduled for just
4:56 like blocked out for writing my tasks
4:58 hopefully won't spill over and i won't
5:01 have to cancel writing days because my
5:02 work is overflowing into that week
5:04 hopefully that weekend buffer there can
5:06 catch any extra to-do's i may have to do
5:08 finishing up on editing finishing up a
5:10 project or something and therefore i
5:11 won't have to cut into my writing time
5:12 that i have scheduled because a lot of
5:14 times i will sacrifice
5:16 writing days to get my work done because
5:17 of course my work is very important both
5:19 to me and to my
5:20 i don't know like financial goals
5:23 eventually so i have to get my work done
5:25 but i also have to get writing done so
5:26 this is going to be my new strategy in
5:29 the new year here try and take weekends
5:30 and use them
5:33 if i need to does that make any sense
5:34 probably not but speaking of having more
5:36 time for writing a quick aside i have
5:38 had a couple of people suggest i write
5:40 for 15 minutes each day or join a
5:42 writing group or other such methods to
5:44 get more writing done and thank you for
5:46 wanting to help me but that is just not
5:49 how i work i like to completely immerse
5:51 myself in it no rolling my trouser legs
5:52 up so i can walk in the shallows for a
5:54 second find a few seashells before i
5:56 have to go put another coin in the meter
5:58 no no i want to be soaked unable to
6:00 touch the bottom with the waves rolling
6:02 over my entire body as the sea throws me
6:04 about until i've got no idea which way
6:06 is up and the salt water is licking my
6:08 lungs i don't want a brisk little jog
6:09 before my work day i want to get
6:12 absolutely lost on the appalachian trail
6:14 i reread what i've got so far and edit
6:16 for a few hours to get myself back into
6:17 the character's headspace and then i'll
6:19 write the next chapter and then i do it
6:21 again and i get so lost in it i don't
6:23 realize i've been doing it for nine
6:25 hours i don't get hungry i don't want to
6:27 go to bed i take several days aside in
6:30 chunks that i can completely let go dive
6:32 in and only resurface when i absolutely
6:35 must return to real life
6:37 i can't write for just 15 minutes to me
6:41 that's not discipline that's deprivation
6:42 sometimes it seems like writers who
6:44 undoubtedly love writing of course still
6:47 talk about it like it's a bit of a chore
6:48 but not me
6:50 i love writing like it's a drug because
6:52 when i'm lost in it i'm alive i don't
6:55 want to micro dose joy
6:56 i want to bathe in it for four whole days
6:57 days
6:59 i don't want a playlist on my way to
7:01 work i want an epic festival of words in
7:02 the desert
7:04 because that type of escape
7:06 is worth waiting for but
7:07 but
7:09 i digress weekends
7:10 we'll try it
7:11 next up i have
7:14 the no buy of all no buys
7:16 and goodness knows it's going to be hard
7:18 for me um i'm rather a reward-based
7:21 creature if i have like a big week of
7:23 work or i accomplish a big project or do
7:25 a thing or i'm just sad
7:27 uh i will allow myself a little browse
7:29 on etsy trying to find the you know the
7:31 cheapest safari brooch for like ten
7:33 dollars and hit that sweet sweet buy now button
7:34 button
7:36 to get that little bit of i don't know
7:38 endorphins from hitting the buy now
7:40 button which i know all too well um i
7:42 have a tinge of the shopaholic in me you
7:44 would never know from my maximalist
7:46 nature that i love crap
7:50 but um sadly there will be no
7:53 like indulgences in the buy now button
7:55 for the foreseeable future and sadly
7:57 even fabric is quite off limits again
7:58 this year because
8:01 i'm going to start saving
8:03 for a house and i don't know if you guys
8:05 have heard houses
8:07 incredibly expensive and i even can't
8:09 can't afford a house here where i live
8:12 now i don't think even if i saved for an
8:14 additional five ten years i wouldn't be
8:16 able to afford a house here in colorado because
8:17 because
8:19 that's too expensive psychologically we
8:20 could really get into this why like new
8:22 shiny things like what kind of like
8:24 corvid i am where new shiny things allow
8:26 me like a spark of happiness to be able
8:28 to like get me through and like
8:30 float along um
8:33 i really need to get past that anyhow
8:34 now that i'm a
8:36 proper adult so this is probably going
8:39 to be good for me to restrict
8:41 shopping i do think like if i'm out at
8:43 like an antique mall with friends and i
8:45 find something spectacular fine um but
8:47 this is mostly a no online shopping ban
8:49 because that's where i get into the most
8:52 trouble so if i can just stay off etsy and
8:52 and
8:55 moodfabrics.com we should be okay
8:56 so i'm working on that but having my own
8:59 place has been my dream for such a long
9:02 time um i have lived outside of my
9:04 family home before obviously when i was
9:06 in university i traveled around a little
9:08 bit so i did some university out in
9:09 california so i lived in an apartment on
9:12 my own there or on campus alone there
9:13 and i lived in an apartment when i was
9:16 in university basically um but i moved
9:18 home after university and i've been here
9:21 ever since um i don't get charged rent
9:22 so it is a very good deal to live here
9:23 especially while i was figuring out what
9:25 the heck i wanted to do with my whole
9:27 life here and now i've sort of finally
9:29 entered into a stable career which just
9:30 happens to be youtube which is
9:32 i'll grant you strange but now that i do
9:36 have a more stable job even if it is
9:38 kind of a weird job by most i don't know
9:40 traditional standards um i can start
9:41 thinking about
9:43 moving out on my own and getting my own
9:46 place and if i'm going to do that i
9:48 would rather not rent because i do have
9:50 the privilege and the gift of being able
9:52 to stay here as long as i like want to
9:55 or need to um so i'm it makes more
9:56 financial sense i feel like to instead
9:58 of starting to pay rent to somebody else
9:59 and paying someone else's mortgage to
10:01 save up so that i can pay my own
10:03 mortgage somewhere you know but there is
10:05 the small problem of it being too
10:06 expensive to live here in colorado so
10:08 i'm gonna have to figure out where to
10:10 live where to move is on my list of
10:12 goals i do have a few
10:15 like potential like wish list items for
10:17 like uh trying to narrow down a place to
10:19 live one being that the houses need to
10:20 be around
10:23 250 000 or less so
10:24 that's rules out
10:27 most of the country i live in and then
10:29 also um there needs to be some queer
10:31 people around for me to meet and potentially
10:32 potentially
10:35 date um then also and have friends in
10:36 general i guess a few cafes or
10:38 restaurants would be good or like coffee
10:41 shops bookstores museums little places
10:42 for me to go so i can wear my suiting
10:44 out about and i would prefer you know
10:46 probably somewhere like on the i mean
10:48 the northern half of the united states
10:50 in general but like the northeast or
10:52 like the northwest and i really don't
10:53 think the northwest i don't think i can
10:55 afford it so somewhere well if you know
10:59 of any towns in new york or pennsylvania
11:01 or massachusetts
11:03 that sort of zone that you like and that
11:05 fit a lot of those categories
11:07 let me know conversely if you know of
11:10 anywhere that will take me in the uk
11:12 or like you know in england or scotland or
11:13 or
11:15 heck even wales uh i've never been to
11:16 wales but i assume it's similar to
11:17 england and scotland enough that i would
11:18 like it
11:20 um let me know because
11:22 as annoying and expensive as i assume it
11:24 is to move countries
11:26 um i love it over there so that is like
11:30 the end goal like 10 15 20 years from
11:31 now i would like to
11:33 move to the uk
11:35 we'll see how it goes i ramble
11:37 so much what do we have so far um we
11:38 have take weekends
11:42 uh save up for a house so no buy and um
11:44 figure out where i want to live three
11:46 okay we got three goals so far next is
11:48 these are getting sillier as we go um
11:50 take a real vacation so in addition to
11:52 taking weekends the idea has occurred to
11:54 me that i don't know how to
11:56 take a vacation because as we know last
11:58 year i went on a very long
12:01 big road trip and i like set my like
12:03 self so much to do each day so much
12:06 driving to do so much stuff to get done
12:07 during the day like to see and get
12:08 footage of because i was trying to make
12:10 videos that whole time i really am happy
12:12 with the series that i made field notes but
12:12 but
12:14 i think it might be a good idea for me
12:16 to actually take a couple of days
12:20 where i don't film or edit or go online
12:22 even maybe at all which
12:23 i haven't spent a day off the internet and
12:24 and
12:26 since i was like eight so it could be a
12:27 good idea but i think taking a couple of
12:30 days really like off off with like out
12:33 my phone no instagram no computer
12:35 and just like actually just like reading
12:37 books watching old movies on tcm and
12:38 like taking
12:41 luxurious baths or something might be
12:43 kind of nice
12:44 speaking of like resets and like
12:47 recharging it could be it could be an
12:48 interesting idea maybe we'll try in
12:51 2022. i also need to upgrade my pc this
12:52 next year so that's kind of a goal of
12:54 mine that's much more work related or
12:56 actually just like practical i really
12:58 would like to upgrade my pc it's from
13:01 2018 i could probably use a new graphics
13:02 card or like video card which is gonna
13:04 be like the more expensive part of that
13:06 upgrade i might have to buy just an
13:08 entirely new pc because of the way
13:09 video cards
13:11 are going these days because a lot of
13:13 people buy them to like mine crypto and
13:14 stuff like that so they it's hard to
13:16 find just a good new video card on its
13:18 own but we'll see how it goes my brother
13:19 and my dad both know how to build
13:20 computers so they'll help me out with
13:23 that when it's time to invest in that so
13:24 i guess it's a no buy except for i need
13:27 to upgrade get some more ram get some
13:29 better processing power so that editing
13:31 is not such a chore because editing even
13:33 on this pc for video it does take me a
13:34 long time just because the computer
13:37 cannot keep up with me also related
13:39 to my earlier goal of trying to figure
13:41 out where to live um i need to start
13:44 going to therapy which i've made a goal
13:46 for several years now and still have
13:48 made no movement on but it seems an
13:50 important one to just
13:51 keep bothering myself about and that is
13:53 because i could maybe use some help
13:56 figuring out what i want because i'm not
13:58 100 sure
14:00 what that is so i need uh maybe a little
14:02 bit of help someone walking with me
14:03 through my
14:05 brain maze to figure out exactly what it
14:07 is that i want because as much as i do
14:10 want to like buy an old victorian house
14:12 you know 30 40 miles outside of town and
14:15 live my witch on the hill
14:16 you know life
14:19 i also do kind of want companionship and
14:20 those two things
14:22 don't seem
14:23 to go together very well and which is
14:25 the one that i really want do i want to
14:26 try living in a city for a little while
14:28 even though it's going to be expensive and
14:29 and
14:31 not a good investment but maybe it's
14:32 good an investment in my mental health
14:35 to like make friends
14:38 i don't know so this is why i'm thinking
14:40 maybe like now that i have like a oh a
14:43 practical thing that i wish to unpack
14:44 it might be finally time to go to therapy
14:45 therapy
14:47 but it just seems like
14:48 i won't be able to wear mascara i'm a
14:51 crier so like it seems like a kind of a
14:52 task and you have to like find the right
14:54 person and all that blah blah
14:56 but i know i should do it and now i
14:59 actually do have like a very like real
15:00 like pressing reason to do so i suppose
15:02 or it feels like it um because of course
15:05 my own what like um well-being was not a
15:06 good enough pressing reason but like
15:08 needing to figure out where to live for
15:10 some reason seems like more of a
15:12 pressing reason then it's prop as far as
15:14 like properly silly goals goes um i have
15:16 get a new tattoo again just like last
15:18 year but again every artist is like
15:20 fully booked and overbooked and like
15:21 their books only open for like two
15:23 seconds and you got to get in there and
15:24 then you have to hope that they like
15:26 your idea so it seems like a lottery at
15:28 this point but maybe maybe i can do it
15:34 i don't know how that got in here god am
15:37 i lonely next question drive to moab
15:39 again maybe because it's actually pretty
15:40 close and there's a lot to see there and
15:42 it's quite nice and so i'd like to do it
15:44 in a less rushed way also my
15:46 grandparents have an rv and they like
15:47 drive around the united states so it
15:48 might be a very fun place to meet up
15:50 with them and check out like arches
15:53 again with my family because of course
15:55 last year when i was at arches and the
15:57 moab area i was there by myself so it
15:58 might be kind of fun to share
16:00 with my family because we don't we don't
16:02 really go on vacations as a family very
16:04 much like we haven't in a very long time
16:06 so it's only a five hour drive from here
16:08 might as well go and check it out again
16:11 and the pizza there was very good so
16:13 worth to drive drive five hours for
16:14 pizza that's worth it you know and then
16:16 i do have another reading goal this year
16:18 although last year it turned out i was
16:20 very optimistic with my trying to
16:23 lowball myself at 25 books
16:27 no um so this year my goal is 12 books
16:29 that's right one book a month can i do
16:31 it i don't know but we're just going to
16:32 keep lowering this goal until we find
16:34 one i can hit but speaking of books of
16:35 course my last goal is the same as my
16:37 goal was
16:38 last year which is to finish the third
16:39 book in the series that i've been
16:42 working on for several years i'm about a
16:44 third of the way through like the first
16:46 draft i suppose um but i think it's
16:47 important for
16:50 like my heart and my head to finish it
16:52 and finish that series and kind of tie a
16:54 bow on it again for myself just because
16:55 it was
16:58 this idea this story
17:00 was the reason i figured out oh i want
17:02 to be a writer the first book came to me
17:04 i always say like a bolt of lightning i
17:05 wrote it in like six or eight weeks or
17:07 something like that i wrote the whole
17:09 like first draft it really just like
17:11 blew my mind um i felt like it wasn't
17:13 really mine that like i had just been
17:14 like instructed to write it down and
17:16 like that story came out of nowhere and
17:18 it was quite complete um and so i've
17:19 been working with those same characters
17:20 for several years now and i want to
17:23 finish like conclude their story i guess
17:25 and so i want to finish this book for
17:26 them for me
17:29 them i say them as if they're real
17:31 all characters of course imaginary in my
17:35 mind but i want to finish this up and
17:37 be able to have some closure with that
17:38 story and that way i can start working
17:40 on some other things that i feel more
17:42 willing to share these first few novels
17:45 have been for me and hopefully the next
17:46 few will be for the world but it's
17:49 possible revenge cicada and book 3 here
17:51 have all been just for me and boy it
17:52 took me a long time to realize that i
17:54 don't have to get published someday to
17:56 be a writer but it is true
17:58 my heart beats for the blank page i
18:00 dream about sitting down to write as if
18:01 it's a luxury destination i am
18:04 privileged to visit yes but also like an
18:06 indulgence i have to earn like a treat i
18:08 get only if i finish my other work when
18:11 in reality it's not dessert but oxygen
18:13 not optional but vital
18:15 i've simply got to get it switched so
18:18 that writing is mandatory because that
18:20 is the reality of my heart but not my
18:22 schedule i will be a better creative for
18:24 it be more productive and energized for
18:27 it both off and on the page and not only
18:29 do you deserve the best i can create but
18:32 i deserve to feel the best i can feel so
18:33 i think it's a shorter list of goals
18:35 this year but i really do need to
18:38 revolutionize the way i schedule my work
18:39 on workflow
18:42 because i have had the same similar sets
18:43 of goals for the last couple years here
18:46 and the reason i don't achieve them is
18:48 because i haven't made any sort of
18:50 massive shift in the way that i schedule
18:53 myself um i usually get what i want to
18:54 get done but not the writing so like
18:56 i'll eventually i will get my videos
18:58 done i'll get my
18:59 like sewing and costume or whatever i
19:01 need to get done done but the writing is
19:03 what gets sacrificed and i just
19:05 can't allow myself to do anymore i say
19:06 this every year and i'm just like a
19:09 broken record but this year because of
19:11 introducing weekends and that buffer time
19:12 time
19:13 hopefully that will make a big enough
19:16 shift i might i've never taken weekends
19:17 like that i've never built that into my
19:19 schedule back when i was working you
19:20 know for other people
19:22 not self-employed i would pack my
19:24 weekends with everything i needed to do
19:26 for my side hustles and so when i
19:28 stopped working i just filled all that
19:30 time i kept my weekends full and then i
19:32 filled all the week day time as well so
19:35 i just any ounce of spare time i can put
19:38 a task on it and i think in some ways it
19:40 just lets the task build up because life
19:42 happens and so not every task gets
19:44 achieved and then they just build up and
19:45 build up and build up and then my
19:47 writing time gets sacrificed to fill in
19:48 all those tasks
19:51 so i have to build in buffer time to
19:53 both absorb some of those tasks that
19:54 don't get done during the week and also
19:56 maybe just
19:58 hopefully some will you know allow me to
20:00 rest a little bit as well weird idea so
20:02 even though i have some specific and
20:04 some rather large goals for 2022 what i
20:07 really want to do is my best like the
20:08 best i can
20:11 to create a lot but also to
20:13 eventually learn how to take some rest
20:15 as well and to figure out what my next
20:17 steps are going to be i never
20:19 in some ways i didn't expect to get to
20:22 this place where i can
20:24 take kind of like a measure
20:26 of what i want to do next it's weird to
20:29 be in a stable enough place with my job
20:31 thanks to all of you and thanks to my
20:32 patrons for supporting me that i can
20:34 think about like oh my goodness what
20:36 comes next what do i want to do
20:38 with my life now that i have this
20:41 foundation that you have given me um so
20:44 thank you and know that i know know that
20:46 i know how lucky i am to even be in this
20:48 position of course i am super privileged
20:50 and lucky not just because i can live
20:52 here at home for free and save up for a
20:54 down payment um but also because all of
20:56 you have given me the gift of being able
20:58 to be creative as my day job and as my
21:00 side hustle and
21:02 not everyone has afforded that gift and
21:05 i do look at it as a huge opportunity
21:06 and one that i don't want to waste of
21:08 course i'll be back to sewing and
21:09 creating here on the channel for you
21:11 soon but not this next week because this
21:14 next week well you'll have videos but i
21:17 will be off writing or as i prefer
21:19 nearly drowning an absolutely huge thank
21:25 you to rhonda che beatrice lacey nancy
21:27 anna brienne carol michelle
21:28 michelle
21:31 margaret rachamus lynn
21:35 ellen myrna karina lillit swingularity
21:37 tracy denise
21:41 fern samantha eloquent silence michaela
21:46 kelly audra alice margot rachel tom renee
21:47 renee
21:50 amy and maria you make my work and my
21:52 dreams possible and thank you so much
21:55 for your support and thank you to all of
21:56 my patrons and all of you who watch my videos
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