Behaviors like procrastination, overthinking, and laziness are often not personal flaws but protective strategies designed to avoid discomfort, judgment, or failure, stemming from a deeper purpose or a desire to maintain a certain self-image.
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You chose this. And yes, I mean it. And
before you click off or get defensive,
let me be clear. I'm not attacking you
here. I'm calling a spade a spade. If
you feel stuck, unmotivated, or like
you're capable of more, but not taking
action, you're not broken, and you're
not lazy. What I've learned both in my
personal life and through studying
psychology over the past decade is that
most people aren't confused or
undisiplined. they're protecting
something or running away from
something. In this video, I'm going to
break down why behaviors like
procrastination, overthinking, burnout,
or even laziness are often strategies,
not flaws, and what they're actually
protecting you from. I'm also going to
share how this showed up in my own life
and even still does to this day. how
insecurity, overintellectualizing,
or the fear of failure disguised
themselves as thinking instead of action
and what exactly actually helped me
break that pattern. If you've ever felt
like you have a good grasp on things and
you understand everything, but you still
can't move forward, stay with me. This
will probably explain more than you'd
expect. So, now let me go in and share a
little bit more about my life
experience. So throughout my even middle
school, high school, college experience,
I kind of had difficulty forming
friendships. I grew up in the same
friendship group my entire life. And as
people began to mature or immature, I
felt more and more overlooked or not
fully seen, not fully accepted, began to
be excluded from my friendship group due
to not wanting to drink or smoke or
party or have very contrarian values to
the people around me. And through that
exclusion, that also led to me not
really being able to cultivate deep
connections with personal friends, but
also women or girls at the time, feeling
confident that I can be myself because
no one else was really accepting me. How
could they? And that led to a bit of a
quiet inferiority around social
confidence, belonging. And at the time,
I was very rocked by this. I told myself
it was bit of a level of trauma or
insecurity or something that I needed to
heal before I moved forward or even to
have closure on to understand why this
was happening. And that spilled over all
the way through college and even into
parts of my adult life. But looking
back, that storyline kept me stuck. It
gave me a reason not to act. I began to
become so fearful of the potential
judgment from someone or the potential
fear of rejection that I found ways to
convince myself that taking action to
work through that wasn't worth it. And I
use that insecurity as a shield from
having to face that potential
discomfort. And in a lot of ways, I
still do it today, whether it's a little
bit of hesitation on if I should make
this video or what I should put out into
the world. and let people know about me
because what if they don't like me? What
if I'm not accepted? And so what a lot
of people would pinpoint as being trauma
really ended up being protection for me.
Protection from rejection, protection
from failure, protection from being
exposed and something that I used to
make myself feel okay with the
stagnation that I was allowing to
happen. And by the way, in a big way,
what this channel is about, it's about
breaking down behavior and performance.
You know, this is all basically about
understanding your internal operating
systems. And if you feel like you can
relate to my experience even this far,
then go ahead and hit that subscribe
button. I hope a lot of my other content
will continue to be valuable to you. So
now I'm at a place in my life where I
felt insecure about who I am. Maybe a
little bit of inferiority around the
fact that girls weren't as interested in
me. I even had some insecurities about
my body. And being 6'6, I felt like I
was always highlighted and exposed, but
not necessarily always in the best way.
It's like, oh, look at this really tall
guy. Oh, look how awkward he is. He
sticks out like a sore thumb. That's the
way that I felt. And so I would try to
melt my way into a corner. Now, where
did that leave me? Well, with that
feeling of being less than, I spent a
lot of time in my own head, very introspective,
introspective,
always analyzing every single thing
around me, and became a self-identified
overthinker. I I knew that I was
intelligent or at least intellectual,
maybe not the most books smart or in any
AP classes, but I understood things and
I lived so much in my own head and
continued to convince myself of this
intellectual superiority that I spent
all my time thinking about the best way
to do something, the best way to maybe
approach someone or have a conversation
and what if they say this, then I'll say
this, then they'll say this and I say
this, but what if they say this? Then I
could do this, this, or this. And all of
that, overanalyzing. Well, where did
that leave me? Moving nowhere, stuck in
my own head, rationalizing all the ways
why I was actually not inferior and
actually really, really smart because I
could think about all these different
aspects of things. And I used that
analysis as a substitute for action.
finding ways to subtly feel superior as
I watched everyone around me take
imperfect action action. I was really
good at pinpointing, well, they did this
wrong and this wrong and this wrong and
this wrong and I could do it better by
doing this, this, this, or this. But all
I did was constantly evaluate the better
path rather than moving down a path. I
used my intelligence as a shield. I
stayed in my head because if I just
stayed in my head and could feel good
about being so right about everything
that I was evaluating, then I would
never have to risk actually taking
action and potentially being wrong. And
the truth is that superiority wasn't
confidence. It was compensation. And so
looking back, I can finally understand I
wasn't lazy. I was just protecting my
self-image, which led to inaction. So,
if you've ever used overthinking or
intelligence as a reason not to act, I
want you to comment IQ down below. I
want to see who else has been in the
same boat as me. So, as a student of
psychology, now I want to introduce to
you the hidden godfather of modern-day
psychology that a lot of people over
overlook. You might have heard of Sigman
Freud. You might have heard of Frederick
Nichze. But have you heard of Alfred
Adler? Adler's framework of psychology
is known as Adleran psychology or maybe
you've heard of individual psychology. I
want you to understand this so you can
understand yourself. Individual
psychology dictates that humans are not
driven by past trauma. They're driven by
purpose and even avoidance of something
serves as a goal to something else. So
for me, if my purpose was to constantly
feel intelligent and not want to face
rejection or judgment or anything else
like that, well then my actions would
serve that purpose. Or should I say my
lack of action would serve that purpose.
I will stay in my head. I will continue
to find reasons why I'm right about why
someone else is wrong to make myself
feel just a little bit more superior so
that I can stay where I'm at and not
risk making a leap or taking an action
that might expose me as being wrong or
lead to someone being rubbed the wrong
way by me and not being accepted. It has
nothing to do with me embodying some
sense of trauma from my past. And this
is part of the pitfall of traditional
therapy is that some people can get too
caught up in reflecting on the past and
trauma dumping and trying to really
create this narrative for themselves as
to why they're stuck in the position
that they are. And they forget to
actually look at the present or even the
future to understand what construct am I
reinforcing through the actions that I
take? What purpose do I have that my
current actions are reinforcing? And you
need to re-evaluate if that purpose
serves the idealized version of yourself
or if it's serving a version of yourself
that keeps you safe and unencumbered.
Your behavior isn't random. It's
loyalty. Loyalty to a version of
yourself that you're holding on to that
maybe you need to let go of. So the
question isn't what is wrong with me?
The question is, what does this behavior
help me avoid? Because whatever it is
that you're avoiding, that is exactly
what you need to be tackling headon to
progress towards your potential. And so,
some examples of what that might be in
your life. Well, am I a procrastinator?
Well, that means that you're avoiding
failure or imperfection. Am I feeling
burnt out? Well, maybe you're avoiding
misalignment. Maybe you're taking
actions down a path that really isn't
meant for you. Maybe it's coming from
comparison to someone else and you feel
like you're burnt out because you're not
getting to where someone else is. Well,
they're on a different path than you. Am
I an overinker or always stuck in
analysis paralysis? Well, that means
you're avoiding commitment. That means
you're looking for all the reasons why
your decision should be delayed and why
you need to think a little bit harder
and harder or seek out more information
to feel certain, to feel committed to
whatever it is the decision that you're
going to make. Do you maybe identify as
feeling laziness sometimes or being a
lazy person? First off, eliminate that
identifier. Second, what you're avoiding
is the threat to your ego, your ego
being diluted. Because if you were to
take action and maybe not achieve the
same result as you would hope to
achieve, well, what does that say about
who you are or how good you are at
something? So, you'd rather drag it out
and be lazy rather than face the fact
that you might not be as good at
something as you would have hoped or
maybe it's not the thing that you should
be doing. That comes back to alignment.
So, at this point, you're probably
feeling, "Holy that is literally
my life." If that's the case, then how
is anyone out there taking action? How
is anyone doing these things or not
feeling the way that I'm feeling? Well,
people who act decisively aren't smarter
than you. They aren't braver. They
aren't more disciplined. They simply
have a purpose. A purpose towards
something greater than themselves. And
that purpose dissolves all hesitation.
Because when your purpose is to protect
a part of yourself or reinforce some
level of superiority or you comparing
yourself to someone else, then you're
always going to be stuck inside of
yourself. But when you draw that purpose
out and put it out in front of you and
know exactly why you're attacking
something, why you're progressing
towards something, and why you're meant
to be doing that, it's no longer about
you. that removes the internal
negotiation of the actions that you take
and makes it about the outcome that
you're pursuing and the process more
importantly that is required to achieve
that outcome. And through aligning that
process well action becomes quite
obvious. You're no longer protecting
yourself to reinforce this internal
dialogue. You're taking action to
achieve the process that you've set
forth that you know confidently will
help you get to the place in life that
you want or become the version of
yourself that you know you're capable of
being. This is why even a lot of really
successful sales professionals or
entrepreneurs move so fast because
they're not protecting their identity.
Maybe all they care about is this
product or service that they want to put
out in the world to make money and
whatever it is that it is. They're
executing a direction that has nothing
to do with who they are because maybe
they don't even have the intellectual
capacity to second guessess who they are
to compare themselves to other people
and analyze all the things that people
are doing wrong and why their way is
better and so therefore they just act
based on what they know to do in the
moment and they don't think any further
than that. So where do you go from here?
Well, the first step is to figure out
what is it that you want to take action
on and stop moralizing your behavior as
if it means something. No one else cares
about what you do as much as you do. The
spotlight effect rings true all the
time. So, whereas you're trying to take
a maybe moral superiority or some level
of justification as to why you shouldn't
take a certain action, you're just
devaluing yourself. You're shaming
yourself. So, stop doing it. Set the
goal, set the action plan and take the
action. And through that you can start
decoding the behavior that reinforces
your goals, your alignment, your vision,
your values, your roles in your life.
Once I stopped asking what is wrong with
me and started asking what am I what I
was protecting, what I was avoiding,
everything changed. So you need to let
go of the narrative that you're holding
on to. You're not broken, but you are
responsible. responsible for taking
action and embodying the version of
yourself you're meant to be. Otherwise,
you're depriving yourself and the people
around you of your potential and your
capability to help them and yourself and
rewiring this internal operating system,
the way that you act in a day-to-day
basis. That's exactly what I work with
clients to help them do, helping them
understand that iOS, that internal
system, so that behavior stops working
against them and starts working for
them. So, if this video really resonated
with you and you can relate to my
experience as well and you want help
applying this to your life, to your
business, to your relationships, that's
what the clarity code is built for. I
hope that you consider checking that
out. And again, if this really helped
you, go ahead and hit that subscribe
button. Keep following along. I have a
lot more coming on clarity, performance,
identity, and taking action towards your
potential. So, I hope to see you in the
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