This content emphasizes that personal change is a multifaceted, ongoing journey requiring self-awareness, a holistic approach across various life aspects, and a strong, persistent will, rather than a singular event.
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today we will talk about change. we will talk about the daily habit of man.
we will talk about the daily habit of living.
we will talk about the essential habit of the great, God willing.
if we want to talk about change, the question we need to ask is:
change in what? change who to begin with? then in what? changing who? is it changing me?
we will talk about personal change, and we will not talk about changing others;
because the priority is for us in the beginning, and then for others.
other programs talk about changing others.
of course, this term to change others is wrong;
because man, even in the position of prophets, cannot change the other, but he can influence him.
we can say: that change is specific to the self and that the effect is specific to others.
change me and influence others,
I cannot say I change myself, and I change others, I cannot judge in this way.
what can we change in ourselves?
many people have a mistake in dealing with themselves,
meaning that when this soul errs in a simple part, all its virtues sink in the mud of that sin,
or when you succeed in a simple part, he flies joy as if it means he accomplished everything and became the happiest person in life.
the soul, O honorable people, and the human and human personality are a group of things, it is a group of things and not one thing
how set of things? I have a side of my faith, which is my relationship with God Almighty.
but the faith aspect alone is not sufficient, as there is a social aspect,
and disturbing the social aspect in my dealings with people can lead me to fire.
they said, O Messenger of God, so-and-so died.
he said: "she is in the fire."
they said, O Messenger of God, she fasts and prays at night, meaning her faith aspect is excellent.
he said: “she hurts her neighbors with her tongue.”
so I also have the social aspect that I should care about.
that is why Ibn al-Qayyim says: what is religion? religion is the unification of God and good dealing with people.
I have the faith side, how can I be complete in it and the social side as well.
then the physical aspect, which is related to health, sports, posture,
grooming and beautification, which God Almighty loves, not exaggerating in it.
and the mental aspect and what is related to the way of thinking, and reading with contemplation and contemplation and,
these mental habits that people do, this is also an aspect that needs us to change.
the financial side,
the financial aspect, folks, where did he earn it and how did he spend it?
sometimes these things are missing.
where did you get your money from? investigation and scruples in the issue of earning money,
and what did he spend? where do you get your money.
some people face a problem if they feel that they have money, let's go to a restaurant, why?
by God, I have money, open a website, why?
by God, I have money, as if this money means something that a person must get rid of.
God will ask us about this money, where did we collect it and where did we spend it?
it is necessary for us to have goals in changing our view of money and our treatment of money as well.
money is the money of God Almighty.
then we come to the psychological aspect.
the psychological aspect: your emotions, your anger, your calmness, your dream, your optimism,
everything related to your psyche, your reactions, your emotional intelligence,
your love, your feelings, everything related to the psychological aspect,
some people judge their life to be ruined if their psyche is ruined that day.
I what? I'm bored... I'm mean... and I don't know what.
although he is of good faith and prays and maintains his prayers, and socially people love him,
physically, he is good, all that is in him is wellness. intellectually, God willing, who is the wisest of people.
but his soul was ruined that day, and he drowned everything in this mud,
{ indeed mankind, to his Lord, is ungrateful.} [Al-Adiyat: 6],
ungrateful, enumerates the disadvantages and forgets the blessings.
also the academic aspect for those who hear us while it is within the framework of study, learning and the career aspect
for those who are an employee, or for those who combine them, and congratulations to him.
the functional side, the academic side.
some people close their life completely because they have not been successful in a certain degree or in a certain subject,
and they cancel all these aspects,
and there are people who think that it is extremely perfect when it is classified and erected,
he is short on the side of worship, the side of dealings, and the side of his body.
but for him, life is complete when his career side is good, and this is a defect;
therefore, when Salman al-Farsi visited Abu al-Darda’, he said to him the wonderful phrase that the Prophet (pbuh) approved of,
“you have a right over yourself, and your visitor” who is your guest “has a right on you.”
and your family, your wife and your children, have a right, so give each person his due.
don't focus on one thing. and they noticed that he was a companion saying to a companions,
and he says to him: do not focus on the faith side, he used to worship and pray at night and did not sleep.
and he fasts and does not eat, so he said: no, no, distribute, and make for you a kind of balance.
why this introduction about change? because we want a complete change, not a partial one.
some people link his success and failure to one part, in a study, in losing weight. no, no.
we want the change to be an integrated change and a comprehensive and radical change, God willing.
we all change what we can, we don't say tomorrow, we start from today, tomorrow, no no,
but make it your life project, you have a project in your life to have a comprehensive and radical change in all aspects of your life, God willing,
of course there is: partial change, total change.
for example, some people change their eating and sports habits, but they stay up late, for example.
we tell him wrong, he changed his goals, but he didn't change his friends. if goals change, they can change friends.
I'm not saying leave your friends at first, but at least form new friendships based on the new goals they set you for,
he changed his job but did not change his view of money, from where he gets it and how he spends it.
he is successful in his work, but he is a bad father. unfortunately, this is a failed success.
successful in his trade but at the expense of his health, unsuccessful success,
he is busy in voluntary and charitable work, but at the expense of his family, we tell him your success is a failure
he moves quickly in his goals, changes, succeeds and develops, but unbalanced, this wheel has become unbalanced.
with speed he loses his balance and objects fall from him, it is possible for him to lose his family, his principles, his health, for example.
I remember once a wealthy merchant told me:
by God, Abu Badr, I am a person who used to talk to myself about jihad, and now I do not pay zakat on my money.
Yasser, take all my money and return my religion. this is a failed success.
successful by standards, some are successful, you come to have a luxury car,
in your company and something great, but it is a failed success.
don't lose health for money, don't ruin your relationships for a position,
do not destroy your principles for the sake of your goals, do not give the world over the afterlife, no matter what happens.
you will achieve something important, but you will lose the most important.
you gain the life of the body and lose the life of eternity,
this problem is in understanding the types of change.
I want to change, but the question remains, in which part do you change,
if we say no, it really should be, it is not reasonable for one person to make a selection for his whole life.
this is very good and excellent.
so how do I deal with change? I deal with change as a matter of priorities.
we cannot make a direct comprehensive change.
but at least we arrange our priorities in change, there are things that are more important than things to change,
and there are things that are related to things,
you may have a defect in the social aspect, perhaps mental, you are excused, you may be excused.
on the physical side, if you have problems, you will be rewarded,
but if on the faith side you are committing a sin,
and so you start to notice, the change has to be in accordance with the priorities,
ok, are these priorities the same in people?
the answer is no, but there is an elementary operating manual, an initial operating manual, which is the first, second and third.
operation Manual, Grand Roadmap,
as you walk, where did you get lost, you need a map on your own.
but the grand scheme of life we must be aware of;
that is why, for example, in Luqman's sermon to his son, very beautiful words, he kept preaching his son,
the purpose of this preaching is to change, I want you to change, I want to influence you to change.
the first thing is to see how the priorities are arranged. do not associate anything with God. this is the first thing, monotheism.
then the Lord's guidance began by recommending the parents.
the issue of parents and how to accompany them and how to treat them,
then came the issue of glorifying God Almighty.
{ O my son, indeed if wrong should be the weight of a mustard seed
and should be within a rock or [anywhere] in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth.
indeed, Allah is Subtle and Acquainted.} [Luqman: 16].
he wants to make him feel the control of God Almighty, why?
so that he would come a little later and say to him: {O my son, establish prayer} [Luqman: 17],
be straight, because of the one from whom a mustard seed, Glory be to Him, is not hidden.
then he began to list priorities, monotheism, parents, establish prayer, enjoin good,
be patient with those who hurt you, and the diseases, accusations, and other things that befall you.
then move on to dealing with people,
and do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the, don't walk on the ground like this, walk like that,
then he ended with { and be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; } [Luqman: 19],
notice how the order of priorities began with standardization and ended with dealings and tastes.
how do you deal with people and tastes, he did not leave anything, it is a very beautiful comprehensive will,
ok, we read this a lot, but how are our applications? him on the ground.
we will see the following: the boy has an iPad, and he walks, and he plays a clip, and there may be music in it,
and there may be a defect in his contract. there are wrong things in this clip.
but the boy was barefoot, for example,
immediately the family shouts: boy, wear slippers, wear socks, or else you will have a temperature and get sick,
etc.? see the imbalance in the priorities.
I mean, the music did not catch our attention, and it did not catch our attention when the boy was watching, no, no.
why don't he wear his shoes, or we focus on his clothes, so that they are elegant and brand,
and we don't have a problem that he's doing the wrong way,
we put the tastes over transactions, for example, and measure them.
this is in our view and in the way we are raised sometimes,
how about our dealing with ourselves? are we aware of this priority so that I know what to start changing?
it is very important for a person to be aware of the issue of priorities for change, what needs to be changed first,
this is a question that I cannot answer, you answer it, we have one map.
if we walk in the map, each person needs a map on his own according to the loss he will feel on the way,
what does he need? everyone knows himself.
we come to the issue of types of change,
we said there is a partial change and there is a complete change.
either a person changes part of his life, or he changes his entire life.
there is a voluntary change and there is a forced change,
so who is forcing you? it could be something external or internal,
internally like diabetes forces you to give up sugars.
this is not a choice but a compulsion.
they used to say to him: you must pay attention to the level of sugar after the age of forty,
you must pay attention, and you must do tests,
thus, until the change became necessary,
so what is the difference between optional and imperative?
optional, the person during his work and after his achievement is happy, he feels proud of the pleasure,
the emergency feels pain.
he is not convinced, he is forced, he feels pain;
therefore, he leaves and returns, leaves and returns, leaves and returns, until it becomes an inevitable necessity.
also, there is a temporary change and there is a permanent change, this is a lot that happens in our lives,
a temporary change means I am making a small change for a specific purpose.
get something like, one gets a master's degree,
he changes his time management, changes his sleep, changes his entry to the library
his reading and concentration, he no longer goes to his friends, he no longer delivers his children, but studies and concentrates.
is this permanent? no, this is a temporary change.
is this right or wrong? we say to him, right, well done, wonderful, God bless you.
where is the problem, to go back to our lives without bringing in the good behaviors that we took from this temporary experience,
for example, while I was studying, I used to stay up late.
while I was studying I used to read a lot, why, when you took the title, did you stop asking?
when you come out of the experience of temporary change, take the beautiful things with you.
a person whose life has changed temporarily because he is on scholarship,
he walks a lot and eats healthily, and he abides by traffic regulations,
if he returns, it is assumed that this temporary change calls him to a permanent change.
he does not return to confuse traffic regulations and confuse eating,
he no longer walks and no longer exercises.
some people change permanently, and no longer pray, why? he is engaged.
a girl who does a diet, does sports and eats on a diet, she has a wedding after three months for one of her sisters,
and in order for her to be in good shape and like this, she made a temporary change.
after the wedding was over she rewarded herself in mac for example,
she ate all she could, as if she was feeling deprived.
the wisdom is that when you come out of the temporary change, you take the behaviors that you benefited from.
like what happened to us during the Corona period, we changed temporary changes, - God willing, they are temporary -,
some of them are temporary and expired, which is the ban and the session at home and we do not go out, and others,
this change let us sit with our children.
ok, when they lifted the curfew, which is supposed to not go back and neglect the children,
why did we not take advantage of this temporary change and take the experience?
this is temporary and we generalize the good parts of it,
so we have temporary change and we have permanent change.
there is a type of change called rapid change, and there is gradual change.
for example one leaves smoke, which is better, does it leave quickly?
he decides at once to quit, or does he say let me gradually, for example?
some people come up with an issue, for example, alcohol.
gradual prohibition of alcohol, this is true, but this does not forget that it is a change related to societies,
I am talking about a change related to individuals, related to us.
ok which one is better? rapid or gradual?
it varies depending on what you want to change.
for example, at the level of sins, no, no, quitting immediately, repentance repentance repentance,
you do not know when you will die, and we do not know when we will die, we do not know,
but on other levels, at the level of health, at the level of seeking knowledge, at the level of change,
changing a certain temperament, emotion, and so on,
at the level of leaving things to eat, is the best fast or gradual?
it varies with different people.
the one with determination and conviction is convinced,
therefore, we advise him to change quickly, because he has determination,
if he says yes yes if he says no no and he knows himself,
as for the one who has the ability to take a long breath, we say to him: change gradually.
for example, leaving sugar in tea, for example, sugars or starches in general,
people who have the ability to take a long breath in order to see their fruits, we say to them,
by God, gradual change may be more suitable for you.
some people no no, he's a hurry, his breath is short, we tell him no, quick change,
direct amputation will be most appropriate for you.
ok what if I fail, either fast or incremental? I quit eating sugar, then came back,
my brother, the answer is clear. this is even in religion.
“if you had not sinned, God would have taken you away, and would have brought people
who would sin and ask God’s forgiveness and He would be forgiven.”
the Prophet (pbuh) when he said we sin, he does not call us to sin, no,
but it tells us what is possible in our lives. we will sin, and if we sin, we seek forgiveness.
he does not call us to do the impossible, which is not to sin. it is not possible that no one will sin.
as long as no one can sin, what is the alternative? he said: if you sinned, ask forgiveness.
you and me too, if we decide to change,
and after two or three weeks we returned some bad habits, renewed your repentance,
renewed your change, there is no problem.
if you keep going, you are a hero. and if you stop, you're human.
and that's all there is to it, don't beat yourself up, why do the people of personal planning talk, - some of course -,
some coaches say: don't try again, no, I don't go back once, twice, three and four,
until you win, I beat myself once, and it beat me times, and I am on a journey of struggle with myself.
night and day, secretly and openly, you and it, until you enter heaven.
you are already in conflict with yourself, no one can, it is not with the push of a button, knock!! ok, I changed
the belief that if I change I must change constantly, is to make many people feel frustrated,
oh brother, the honor of trying is enough for you, brother, it is enough for you to die on the path of trying.
you don't have to reach, you will be happy with your effort and not just your achievement.
who is the bad ? which does not start at all,
and better than him is the one who started and did not arrive.
and the best of them is the one who started and arrived.
therefore, it is very normal, do not rush results and do not slow down achievements.
so what are the consequences of change in general? why don't people change? very important question,
why do I not change? why does not change? why so-and-so is the same as I know him?
why is it me and him in middle school, then we separate after that after years,
I got married and he got married, and we met and parted, and he said: my brother Yasser is the same as he has not changed.
crazy as I knew him, heavy as I knew him, pessimistic as I left him.
I mean, let me tell you disincentive, whatever it is, any negative trait,
why do some people really not change? the answer is the following:
first: some people do not feel able to change, and wear the mantle of the victim,
he says: I cannot and I cannot, and God wrote this for me.
he justifies predestination, and reasoning, as the predecessors say, is ignorance.
how do you explain fate? if it were permissible to justify the predestination, the limits would be suspended.
to the people in prison came out, "I am a thief, God has decreed for me that I steal."
why did you kill him? God decreed that I would kill him, playing the victim,
some people do not feel able to change, you tell him leave, he tells you I can't, let the smoke tell you I can't,
of course there is a difference between I can't and I don't want, I don't want,
therefore, convictions are sometimes shaken when we come to talk to some young people.
we tell him to leave the smoke, he tells you I can't, I smoke two packs a day.
I can leave it for two hours, ok, I say to him, it means that you do not fast Ramadan? he is silent,
he says no, in Ramadan it is another matter, God willing, twelve hours, you can, yes I can, beautiful,
so you are not able, but you do not want to pay the price of change, but you do not want,
so some people just don't feel empowered to change. watch out,
I did not say that they are not able to change, but rather they do not feel the ability to change.
O people, with the mind, God Almighty has given us the capabilities that lead us to enter Paradise, the highest requirement.
it is not reasonable for what is below Heaven that we cannot afford it.
God is more just, merciful, kinder, and more knowledgeable about us than ourselves
the problem is that we are not doing our best. if you do your best, God Almighty will forgive you.
but we don't make the effort and stumble and stop at the first stumble.
if one does not feel the ability to change, he feels that he cannot,
we tell him to leave, he tells you I can't, leave the sugars, he says to you I can't,
my brother, treat your children well, he tells you, I can't,
O brother, go, kiss your father's head and hand, he says to you, by God, I am not able, we are used to that, I am not able.
ok as you like. whoever says I can't, has been truthful, and whoever says I can, has been truthful.
the matter is up to you, you can or cannot. so one: they don't feel empowered to change.
two: they do not have the desire to change, these are many, what he wants to change,
he does not have the desire, he does not have the will to change
in fact, some of them reach the point where they pray to God that he does not change us.
no, may God change us for the better, O Lord,
how do you know that you are in the earthly paradise,
for something better, my brother, I ask God Almighty, I ask for change for the better.
three: they are ignorant of the way to change, some say I would like to change
, and I just don't know, the way to change is what they know,
this is a lot and a possibility, but it is not excused for ignorance;
because now there are books, lectures, models and everything, and there are many who consult with them,
so it is assumed that he is not excused.
four: they fear the consequences of change.
many people do not want to pay the price for change,
this pain, chest tightness, fatigue, time, effort and thought, he does not want them, they do nothing.
rather, one of the strange things now is, we always hear about the fear of failure, we hear and understand the fear of failure,
but now it has become in a common term called fear of success,
a person does not want to succeed, one God granted him victory in something.
you say to him, “come expand.” he says to you: no, no, why?
because he does not want to pay a price for this work, there are people who fear the consequences of change.
fifth: there are people who do not feel the need to change.
he says to you, why should I change in the first place? why do I change?
you find them lying in rest, two playing Sony and sitting on the brand,
and four people with their backs arched playing, and two lying ,
and one sitting on the TV, netflix
and only one was sitting to give orders to the worker: sugar increased, sugar decreased, where is the tea? clean, don't clean,
and then go back to them after ten years, you find the same situation.
you tell them to change, he says to you, no, my brother, never ever, do not occupy me, no, I do not want
you say to him, ok, do this, and he says: I do not want.
my brother, you are distinguished in this, why do you not enter into the project or the initiative?
he says: don't make my head hurt.
Omar bin Abdul Aziz says: “if people, whenever they find it difficult to do something,
they leave it, there would be no world or religion for people.”
if everyone wants to say, I do not want, I do not want, I do not want, then who is running this life?
how do we develop how do we change? how do we populate the earth? how do we purify ourselves?
how do we influence? how do we do it? how do we leave traces behind?
there is something strange sometimes, when you come to someone who says to you: I do not feel the change,
you see him hitting his children, so you say, brother, take this book and read it, and he says, no,
, this does not work for them, better for them this.
you say you are wrong, he tells you no no, I am not wrong,
many people do not feel the need to change, Ibn al-Qayyim, may God have mercy on him, has a very beautiful word.
he says: “perfections diminish either from lack of insight.”
he does not know, does not know the way, does not know the outcome of something,
he does not know the sweetness of change, he does not know the results, he does not know the fruits,
he says: “either out of lack of insight or determination.”
he does not have determination, and I claim that many people are of the second type, who do not have determination.
distracted, his time on social media is terrifyingly going.
one of his major concerns is well-being. how can I do this and that at the end of the week?
at the end of the month I do this, at the end of the semester I travel only for this
he has no more determination,then he says: and determination is of two types. this is a beautiful speech, my group.
he says: perfections are left behind for two reasons, which I repeat:
either from lack of insight, you do not know the sweetness of something, so Ibn al-Jawzi says:
“he who has insight has been patient.”
meaning, when I came, I told you: taste this honey, so you tasted honey.
I say to you: well, go and bring me this hive. if you want like this honey, just bear and take the honey.
bear because you tasted honey,
“whoever has insight, he has been patient, and whoever asks to marry a beautiful woman, he will not feel that the dowry is expensive.”
therefore one of them lack of insight.
two determination, intent is of two types:
determined to get in the way. and determined to walk it.
this is a precious talk, guys. when we come, we change. we have something very important that we must think about.
Ali, may God be pleased with him, when he came to the Prophet (pbuh), he was a young man at the beginning of his life,
the young man has the possibility to change more, and life is open to him in more angles than the old man,
who has achieved a large part of his goals and is continuing in them.
Ali asked the Prophet (pbuh), he said: teach me a prayer, the Prophet (pbuh) said:
say, “Oh God, guide me and give me strength.” repeat this prayer.
“Oh God, guide me and give me strength, and remember the guidance of the path.”
in the sense of guiding the way, it means that which guides you on the way
he who tells you this road is the closest, this is right, this is bumpy, this is far.
so you ask God Almighty for guidance. Oh my God, what is better for me, this job or this job?
my God, shall I marry now or be late? to take so-and-so or not to take?
Lord, should I buy like this or not? the Companions used to use God Almighty to buy sugar.
we are big issues that we don't use. always ask God Almighty for guidance and payment.
so what is guidance? to guide you to the right path. so what is luck?
the Prophet (pbuh) said to Ali: “and remember success, success is for the spear.” success is for the arrow.
when you shoot in order to hit the target, you ask God Almighty to guide you in the way, and you also ask Him to direct you.
meaning to make you reach its end, and this is his purpose and the words of Ibn Al-Qayyim.
determination of two kinds says: determination to enter the road, and this is where you need guidance from God Almighty.
and determination in the event of walking in it, that God will lead you to your goal and what you want.
so you need two aids from God Almighty, the aid you always need from God, in all our moments we need it.
in this regard, you have two needs, assistance in entering through the correct door, assistance in completing the road,
so he said good luck, in another hadith, “shoot and approach.”
the meaning of “shoot and approach” means that you are shooting the arrow,
and if you do not hit it, you will hit the target, at least you are around it.
likewise, you and I, if we want to change, we must have this thing, we have a “shoot and approach”,
I mean, sometimes we have to reach something, white or black, wrong no, but “shoot and approach”,
sometimes there are many shades of white, I mean, white does not have to be the white that you have in mind,
this is not exactly the goal you have in mind, maybe less than it, maybe more,
you always ask God Almighty for guidance and success. ok those who do not feel the need to change, this is a problem,
ok, you and me, many people who are offended by us, want us to change things that we do not feel that we need to change them.
it could be eating behaviors things,
today's session is about major changes in life, not a single strategy, a small change and a big change.
his strategy is one, but by giving examples, it is more realistic,
sometimes changes in the way we eat, I don't feel like I don't need to...,
or in the way I speak, or joke, I don't feel the need to change;
because no one makes me feel, so that I know what I must change,
I have something very important, if we can see ourselves. we have a part of ourselves that we see in ourselves,
you are as you see yourself, not as people see you, and there is a part of yourself that you never know,
and you as you are,
if we assume that you are three-thirds,
you do not feel the need in this first third of your life, as you do not see yourself.
you say: I don't need anything,
but in two thirds of you there are needs that you do not know about.
therefore, a person can see part of him, and part not,
like the wearer of the dress now, part of my dress is visible, and part of my dress is hidden,
part of me is visible, and part of me is hidden.
when I come to see my dress from the front, I say: there is no problem, it is clean, I do not feel the need to clean it.
but part of my dress is hidden I don't know, it can be dirty,
who will reveal to me the hidden part?
I must seek help from people, after seeking help from God Almighty.
that is why, O honorable people, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A believer is his brother’s mirror.”
mirror!! how is a mirror?
what is meant is telling him, how beautiful is this word, group, a mirror,
what is this description? what is this greatness? what is this rhetoric? what is this dense meaning?
a mirror, ok why a mirror? the mirror reflects reality as it is.
it does not exaggerate or underestimate you. it is neither concave nor convex, so you appear as you are.
your little problem here is you see it as small as you see it in the mirror,
don't make it bigger or hide it, the mirror won't deceive you.
also, the mirror you go to, it does not come to you, there is no mirror following us, we go to the mirror.
that is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said in another hadith:
“the right of a Muslim over another Muslim is six” and he mentioned among them:
the intelligent believer wants to change himself, folks. “if he advises you, advise him.”
who is giving advice now?
look in your life, how many times have you gone and said to one of them: advise me,
how many times did someone come to you and say to you: what are my shortcomings?
people are running away from criticism, and the other party has become good at courtesy.
there is no jealousy, I have no business with anyone,
although originally part of our real change is people's advice,
{ by time, (1) indeed, mankind is in loss, (2), except for those who have believed and done righteous
deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.} [Al-Asr: 3]
I tell you and you say to me, you are wrong, Yasser, you fell short in this and that.
you have such and such in you, I call you to the truth and make you patient,
like this miss a lot, how will we change? we have to keep this in mind.
you must be on your hidden side that you are asking for advice from people, asking for criticism,
you can't change as you run away from criticism, that's a rule.
ask for criticism and advice from people.
ok, now I have the visual side that I know about myself, what do I need?
I need to disclose the visible, and seek advice in the hidden, both for the sake of reform.
how do we disclose? I come on the visible side, I know some things about myself, I go, brother, to consult one, to consult him.
he says I have a problem with one two three four,
O people, take off the garments of pretending, if you want to change,
this dirt on your statue must be removed, so that we can see you clearly,
if a sane person goes to the doctor, he does not hide his illnesses in order to beautify himself in front of him.
this is a doctor, this is his profession.
so you go to a counselor and say to him on your visible side: I have mistakes one, two, three, four
on the religious side, on the social side, on the psychological side
on the mental side, on the other side, so you seek advice from him on the visual side.
on the visible side, you need disclosure, not pretense.
then you come to the hidden side and you need to seek advice.
and ask people to benefit you, God willing.
this is the first way, this is the A and B to change,
ok why do I have to do this way?
because one of the major rules of change is that I will be one of your advisors.
among the major rules of change I mentioned many times:
first to know, then to admit, then to decide, and then to repeat, to change, and for me to change
ok, you know, you know what? you know you're wrong, you know right from wrong, you know your pros and cons,
as long as you do not disclose, and do not have a request for advice, how will you know?
you will repeat your mistakes, once, twice, three, and I will see you in ten years and say: he is the same so-and-so I know.
so one I have to know, how do I know? through counseling and through listening,
two, and if I knew I would confess, I wouldn't come to justify and evade and play the victim,
no, folks, by God, justification is the pestilence of change.
and that it is a preservative that does not increase the sweetness of behavior, but rather preserves it as it is.
justification is a preservative for bad behavior. you are canning it,
ok, if everyone came and gave me a word, would I believe him?
no, but if the word is repeated, so that you asked more than one,
and they all said the same thing in a certain part of you, and they all know you well,
so you must admit, and if you are not convinced,
you don't have to be convinced, but you have to admit, admitting a mistake is the nature of good people.
some people reach this stage of recognition, then stop, how is it stopped?
I mean, he reaches the stage of the victim role.
he says: did you know, Abu so-and-so? I became like this, and they told me that, and my brother..., he plays the role of the victim, no, no,
you must decide, the group of those who attended the session today, did not decide, has a problem.
he has one of the stumbling blocks of change, which is delay, long hope and procrastination.
please, my brother, know and confess.
my brother, then immediately decide, I am from today such-and-such, from tomorrow such-and-such, I am next week such-and-such,
the person begins to decide, puts a plan for him and puts it down for him, gathers information and decides.
after that he must repeat, why repeat? for it is said that a cat attacked three pigeons,
one thought about escaping by flying, and two decided escaping by flying,
how many pigeons did the cat eat?
the answer is to eat them all.
because there is no difference between one who thinks and one who decides, there is no difference, as long as no action follows,
the first thing it thought, but it did not fly,
and those after that said, “we decided, by God Almighty, now we will fly, as long as they do not fly.”
the cat ate them for good on him,
how many cats would eat us if we just stopped making decisions? I'm just deciding, no,
after the decision I must use the procedure,
and here came a word that was repeated in a symbolic reference that change does not come as a leap, no touch or step.
change comes once, twice, three, four, five and six, ok how much?
twenty one days? no it's not right,
there is no correct study that says: twenty-one days, or sixty years, or ten years, or two weeks.
change varies according to the root of the habit to be changed.
if it is very, very strong, it needs a longer time.
and if it is weak, you have just learned something, you can change it quickly,
because it is still fragile, it has not taken root, it has no veins, you can pull it out,
thus, man needs to repeat, repeat, repeat, in order to change.
therefore, if we observe the Meccan verses and the Medinan verses,
the Meccan verses came to change people.
you will find that one of the features of the Meccan verses is repetition.
repeats the same meaning to you in multiple forms, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat,
and reminds you of reward and punishment reward and punishment reward and punishment, and repeat and repeat and repeat.
while when the Medinan verses came and the people embraced Islam,
in order to break your habits, you need to repeat, do not rush,
do not say, by God, that I did and did not change, especially if the change was related to another party.
my treatment with my wife has changed, but she has not.
she does not work with her, no, repeat repeat repeat repeat, she will change after that, but you did what you owe,
the Prophet (pbuh) says: “and ask God who is yours.” do what is required of you, excellent.
ok, why should I go back and say again, why do we constantly need to disclose and seek advice?
because a person does not know what he needs and what he does not need.
this is the picture in front of you, this one is drawing a horn in every scene.
and he believes that this horn is present in life, and he believes that in every forest he finds this horn,
and if it's funny, it's painful, folks. many of our horns need to be changed,
the horns are those beliefs that I took from a specific generalized part, from a small generalized part,
something you tried and it didn't work for you once; because you tried it the wrong way or the wrong timing.
and you judged yourself in general that it doesn't fit,
you came to memorize the Qur’an, but you were not able, so you said, “I am not able to memorize the Qur’an.”
you came to learn a language, but you could not. these are horns, folks. these are not facts, these are not in the scene.
the scene is that there are people who memorize the Qur’an, the scene is that there are people who learn a language,
but you are sitting in this scene, your horn,
therefore, my horn and your horn, we must get rid of them, we must deal with them.
let's move on to the next, I don't want to give examples.
ok, one of the things that is problematic is the idea that I don't need to change,
my son does not need to change, this behavior of mine does not need to change,
the ruin in my car does not need to be changed, my food is good and does not need to be changed.
until the thing wears out.
sometimes we say like this picture in front of us grows and adjusts, grows and makes sense,
ok, he grew up, but he didn't make sense, guys, then he grew up, he grew up, and we uprooted this behavior, and this behavior destroyed us.
this behavior may be my behavior. I see it and say: it will change, God willing.
it might be my son's behavior, it might be my friend's, it might be...
Guys, people want change without a price.
they want a change that time will take care of, that is not true at all,
also, one of the problems is that there are people who are convinced of the speech, and he said, “Oh, brother, I would like to change.”
and he began to experiment here and experiment there, enter courses here, read books there, consult, consult and consult.
from my point of view, do not take this as scientific talk.
rather, it is an experience, and it is short and limited, but I am telling you it on the grounds that we are in an evening of dialogue,
anyone who consults a lot, I see that he does not change,
frequent consultation means that you are hesitant.
and sometimes the same person consults you a lot, more than once discussing the same topic with you.
the same person comes to you after he changes to discuss the same topic with you.
or he says to you, I went to so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so.
I say to him, God willing, you went to these five? he said: yes.
I said: so you will go to the seventh person, then tell him: the sixth person was Yasser.
you are a person who does not want to change, you talk too much and do nothing,
from people like this one in front of us in the picture, he needs one ladder,
but it’s change is without a methodology. he tries, tries, tries, consults, consults, consults.
in the end, he did nothing, or wasted a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of opportunities, and his change was limited.
ok, about something very important, we will talk about it in the issue of change,
we will say that man has an trait, and around him is nature,
so what is the trait? I am a born nervous, born with a genetic trait whatever,
I have a specific trait, for example, that I inherited, so I think, an existing trait,
and there is the nature of what is acquisition, nature, for example, my circumstances,
the environment around me, my upbringing, what I gained from those around me.
every child is born according to the fitrah, so his parents make him a Jew, a Magian, or a Christian.
these are things that a person acquires. this acquisition may be a positive or negative acquisition.
it may be that I was born into a family, for example, that has its notions of generosity,
but there are misconceptions about this generosity, can I continue?
I may be in a society that has a view and a way of dealing with hygiene, for example, or with time or with traffic regulations,
do I surrender because I was born here, which is my nature?
no, it is not true, what will make me stand in the text like this picture is the will, the will to change,
it is the center of God’s wisdom and justice.
it is your choice that you change your character, and reduce the influence of your nature, stop, I must stop.
the Salaf say: the people of Paradise are the people of character acquisition, not the people of character.
it's a disaster, if we walk with our character, so who is the human?
man is ignorant, miserable, unjust, ungrateful, little thankful, terrified
if this person lives according to his character, then we have envy, we have greed, and we have ...,
no, stop, I'm changing,
the longest oath in the Qur’an, its answer is this course, what is meant by us in this course.
and “by the sun and its brightness” [Al-Shams: 1], are nine verses that God Almighty swears by.
then he said: {and [by] the soul and He who proportioned it (7)
and inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness, (8) he has succeeded who purifies it, (9)} [Al-Shams: 7-9].
he who changes it and raises it, removes it from faults and sins.
“and he has failed who instills it [with corruption].” [Al-Shams: 10], I am standing in the middle, my nature is me who overcomes it.
O my brother, Omar says: “if it were not for the Day of Resurrection, you would have seen what you are not satisfied with.”
but I am silent, I am patient because of the Day of Resurrection,
Aisha says: "how good piety is, because it did not leave a way to heal anger."
one of her maidservants made a mistake, she didn't say anything to her, why? because it is related to the afterlife.
she says: were it not for piety
I don't say: this is my character I can't, but she says: I control my affairs,
my character is not a problem,
I am nervous, but I seek reward with patience and perseverance.
this is the change, the change that I am trying not to let my character interfere,
I'm trying to change my character a little,
I underestimate the influence of nature, the environment, circumstances,
society, life, the age into which I am born and all, I am independent.
many people tell you: I live in such an environment and ours is like this; and because I was born in that,
no, by God, it is not true.
if the environment was an excuse, then God Almighty would excuse us for it.
Allah Almighty says:
{ indeed, those whom the angels take [in death] while wronging themselves - [the angels] will say, "in what [condition] were you?} [An-Nisa: 97]
what were you doing on earth?
{yhey said, we were oppressed in the la they will say, "we were oppressed in the land."} [An-Nisa: 97]
we were weak, and we did what they told us.
Angels replied:
{ "was not the earth of Allah spacious [enough] for you to emigrate therein?"
for those, their refuge is Hell - and evil it is as a destination.} [An-Nisa:97]
for example, you are sitting in the break, can't you leave this break?
you are in a bad workplace, can't you leave this place?
sometimes you are among your family, you say: I can't migrate,
no, you can migrate with your thoughts, your dreams, your ambitions.
some of them say: my family is very discouraged. if I tell them something, they will break my oars.
ok, you emigrated with these thoughts, I mean, do not tell them your thoughts.
but don't apologize that the reason for what you are in is because of the people around you.
Al-Aqra' bin Habis, may God be pleased with him, came to the Prophet (pbuh) and saw the Prophet (pbuh) kissing a child.
he said: do you kiss boys? God is surprised, he noticed the pressure of the environment on him,
the Prophet (pbuh) said: yes. the Prophet (pbuh) is the standard, he is the correct one.
if you want to measure your behavior, compare with the Prophet (pbuh), know whether you are inclined or are you correct,
the Prophet (pbuh) said: yes, we accept boys.
Al-Aqra’ said: I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them.
the Prophet (pbuh) said: “and what shall I do to you when God has removed mercy from your heart”
in a narration he said: “he who is not merciful will not be merciful.”
he did not say to him: you have your style, your habits, and your children. it does not harm you that you do not kiss your children.
this is you now, men of my companions, wrong, stop, you have to change,
so, the will to change, you can change, God willing,
stop your character, stop your nature from the influence of your nature,
watch the story of Yusuf (pbuh), and contemplate the nature that was around Yusuf,
God Almighty says: { and she, in whose house he was, sought to seduce him. she closed the doors and said, "come, you."} [Yusuf: 23].
you can imagine this society, which in the palace is a decadent society, a stressful environment, pressure, corruption,
the doors were closed, she said: I'll come for you, and he replied like this:
he said, “"[I seek] the refuge of Allah.” [Yusuf: 23]
why do you say God forbid, you and me!!
he stopped and said: { "[I seek] the refuge of Allah. indeed, he is my master, who has made good my residence.
indeed, wrongdoers will not succeed."} [Yusuf: 23]
then { and she certainly determined [to seduce] him, and he would have inclined to her}
notice the scene, { and they both raced to the door,} [Yusuf: 25]
and she was chasing him, { and she tore his shirt from the back,} [Yusuf: 25] and tore his shirt,
and in this scene, the doors were closed, and she pulled his shirt, and she was chasing him, and calling him to herself him,
all this scene { and they found her husband at the door} see the surprise like this, her husband Aziz Egypt comes at the door now.
he was sitting watching the scene, straight away, and she said to him:
{ "what is the recompense of one who intended evil for your wife but that he be imprisoned or a painful punishment?"} [Yusuf: 25]
this one wants me for himself!! then a witness came and said:
if his shirt was slashed at the back, she was the one who chased after him.
and if it is his shirt that is torn from the front, then he is the one who wants it.
and I began in front of him trying to find out who was wrong and who was right.
when it became clear, {when he saw his shirt slipping from the back, he said (Yusuf: 28).
now see the master's reaction:
{ he said, "indeed, it is of the women's plan. Indeed, your plan is great.} [Yusuf: 28]
only that's what pissed him off the most,
you women, your plan is great, look at the environment, a bad environment.
then he now turns to his wife, then turns to Joseph, and says: {Yusuf, turn away from this and ask forgiveness for your sin} [Yusuf: 29].
it's over, just, there's nothing, {you were of the sinners}
Joseph leave her, and you, my wife, ask forgiveness, just go.
then she comes insistently and says to Yusuf: { and if he will not do what I order him,
he will surely be imprisoned and will be of those debased."} [Yusuf: 32].
I mean, she's adamant about it, what did he say?
{ he said, "my Lord, prison is more to my liking than that to which they invite me.} [Yusuf: 33]
stop, I am in prison, this narrowness is better than the capacity of living with them.
ok, he entered prison, prison is a bad environment, all those around him are criminals,
however, when they came to him, they said to him, “come, we want you to explain the dream to us.”
and they said at the end of the verse: { we see you to be of those who do good."} [Yusuf: 36].
even while he is in prison, what is this constancy?
in the palace he is fixed, and in prison he is Mohsen,
he didn't say nature changed me, he didn't say circumstances changed me, no, no, not with an excuse for this,
God puts these things to test you and raise your status, if you succeed in the highest,
so you come and excuse your bad and your failure, me and you, the second and the third? this is not true.
meaning: we do not assume the role of the victim and put the problem in our surroundings, and God Almighty says:
{ rather, man, against himself, will be a witness, (14) even if he presents his excuses. (15)} [Al-Qiyamah: 14, 15]
do not be impossible by circumstances, circumstances can help some people to succeed.
but good conditions, conducive to success,
there are people who helped them succeed, one with money and one with no money,
one is in good health, and one is in good health.
Good conditions help some succeed.
but bad circumstances never force anyone to fail, they never force you to fail.
Noah preached to his people for 950 years, preaching to his people.
the son of Noah decided not to change, while he was in the house of the greatest preacher in history. he decided that he would not change.
his father calls all people, and his son is next to him and does not change.
ride with us, I don't want to,
in a very painful educational scene, my son, the last thing he calls, come, there is no escape today,
he says: I don't want to, I don't want to change.
look who's his father,? his dad.
and the wife of Pharaoh decided to change while she was under the roof of the greatest tyrant who said, “I am your Lord, the Most High.”
this changes, and this does not change.
and God Almighty sends down nine verses to the children of Israel.
blood, lice, frogs and what they change, there is no will.
among the beautiful things that Ibn al-Qayyim said:
he said that everything in this universe, mountains, rivers, arks and vehicles,
God created it for the sake of man, and God created man for the sake of God.
what greatness is this person, then he comes and tells you that I am not able to change.
my brother, God Almighty created man and honored him.
he gave you, chose you, please over many of those he created,
he mocked you mountains, seas, rivers,
he created the trees for you, made the stars and the planets, the animals and the boats subservient, all of them are mine and yours.
he raised the sky above you, spread the earth beneath you, rain down on your seed, it's all for you.
you are the master of this whole universe, you are strong by your Lord,
great in your character, great in your message, heavy in your monotheism and the word “there is no god but God” in your heart.
all these features tell me I can't change anything,
I refrain from it, a strange thing sometimes you hear some very strange excuses,
a person who lives on the margins of life, lives without a cause, live by the flow.
he gets up and sleeps, his night is like his day, and his evening is like tomorrow, a duplicate of his life.
he claims that he is poor and has circumstances and I do not have the ability,
I don't want to bore you with this angle,
but the issue of will, that you prevent the influence of your nature on you, nature on you, you are primarily responsible for it,
start one step at a time. success is neither a leap nor a sudden,
it is the result of small cumulative changes, please they are small cumulative changes,
small changes make achievements. small achievements ignite the enthusiasm to start,
please don't get too big and suffocate, they are small achievements.
small changes, these small cumulative changes are the habits of successful people.
Ibrahim Alharbi says: I accompanied Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal for twenty years, day and night, summer and winter.
I did not meet him on a single day except that his work on this day exceeded his work yesterday.
if yesterday and the day before yesterday were the same, then this is not good, how about those whose years are equal?
his life is a duplicate, its day is like its yesterday, its tomorrow is like its day.
my brother, check your pulse, you are alive or not. please no small changes. the forest is a cluster of trees,
and the mountains are all aggregates of stone, and fire is originally a group of small sparks,
ok, for something like that, we wanted to emphasize it as well. we have people sometimes.
we have three things, if we want to go well with the cause of change.
first, you have to make sure you want it. two: of your ability. three: of knowledge.
what is knowledge? what is meant by knowledge?
it is knowing the method and means that you need, and knowing the outcomes of the matter that you need.
two: they always say that change needs ability, this statement needs to be reconsidered.
minimum ability, meaning we must say: that change requires minimum ability;
because ability develops with practice and attempt.
one who wants to change, is just doing something new, for surely he has no ability,
we tell him no, you have the minimum ability, you have complete knowledge, minimum ability, and strong desire,
the desire must be strong, because the strong desire is also the spark of the launch.
also, we must emphasize the idea that, in order for me to go, I need ambition and clarity, so why?
ambition fuels determination, and clarity leads to a goal.
where do you want to go? because sometimes a person has ambition, but there is no clarity,
as if he was riding a flying machine with bicycle brakes
he is shocked here, shocked here, shocked here, and a project opens here and leaves here, and I do not know what.
what found himself, only ambition, there is no clarity as to where he wants,
this is an angle. from a second angle, we need to do two things in order to stay on my goal:
abstinence and commitment. a commitment to work towards goals, and abstain from all paths of deviation,
the case that I want to change without refraining from anything and committing to something, this is an incomplete change,
even in religion, it is called commitment,
you have rules, you have conditions, you have duties to adhere to, you have prohibitions,
you have dislikes, you have taboos, refrain if you change.
you have the right things about health, stick to them, and things wrong with health, so refrain from them, we are done,
at school, at work, all these things, put with you these, glasses in which there is abstinence,
and glasses in which there is commitment, abstinence and commitment,
O sisters, please, no command, or brothers, check the mics,
the last five minutes have entered more than one voice, and may God reward you with good.
ok, let's jump for a while to the bells of change
when do you need to change? when do you feel that your life is in danger? when do you feel you are bound to change?
whether it was a partial change, it was partial. there is a need called the problem of the problem,
oh peace, if only, if we go out today with this, you also see that this is enough,
what is the problem of the problem? we know the problem, but does the problem have a problem? the answer is yes.
the problem of the problem, what is the problem of the problem?
when you come to define the problem, for example,
when family or educational counseling come to define the problem, you find that the problem has approximately thirty definitions,
the problem is it is it, ok where is the problem of the problem?
that some people don't see it as a problem, that's the problem of the problem.
what is the definition of the problem?
they told you it is "an obstacle facing the individual that prevents him from achieving his consensus or achieving goals",
"whether this obstacle is a mystery or a difficulty," so far there is no problem in the definition.
notice me in red. this creates tension and confusion for him. oh dear, without this red, the last line will not come.
"this state of tension and confusion pushes him to search for mechanisms and solutions to get rid of this situation."
what is the state of tension and confusion, this is the problem of the problem, how?
now, if we were in the summer, and I came and told you: brother, you have a ruined heater, he would not consider it a problem.
he will keep saying: tomorrow, today, tomorrow, normal, you tell him are you going to fix it? he says no, why?
the reason, look at the red; because it did not create a state of tension and confusion for him, it was not created for him.
but when he is created in a state of tension and confusion, he will feel that he is cold.
here we say now he is starting to get nervous, because the cold is starting to get tense, he feels that it is a problem,
and I remember, the principal of our school - may God have mercy on him - Abu Khaled,
we were in the second grade in middle school, two students came and took off the classroom door
By God, they were fierce, they took off the door of the classroom, meaning they pulled it out like that, and threw it
the principal of the school came, he said who did that? we were very afraid.
this student is very strong, he will beat us and flog us, so we did not speak, who did that? we did not speak,
well, he said, and went, he acted like that for the first time.
Abu Khaled - may God forgive him and have mercy on him - was very severe,
he could catch us, make some of us spies, and answer the news of this, but he didn't do it, he left us.
By God, I will never forget it, also I told him about it after that
when winter came and it started to get cold, our class was on the third floor.
I mean, the balcony was so cold, and we went to complain,
three months later, four months later, we forgot. professor, we need to fix the door. he said you want to fix the door? no it is not necessary,
we started crying heartily, it became a problem for us now, we became in a state of tension and confusion.
we started looking for solutions. he said, "tell me who took off the door, and today we will fix it."
we said: we will tell you everything you want, but let's fix the door. this is the problem problem:
as long as the other party does not feel tension and pain towards this thing, he does not consider it a problem,
someone since he married his wife, his wife says:
By God, since I married him five years ago, I go every day to my family in the afternoon
and he comes back to take me at twelve o'clock at night, I said why?
she said we get out of work, have lunch, sleep, the afternoon prayer is called, and he goes out to coffee.
he does not want to leave me at home, so he takes me to my family, and he comes and takes me at twelve o'clock at night.
she says daily for five years, wednesday thursday friday, daily, I said no day? she said not a day, in this way;
because he is originally responsible for the coffee, meaning he must always be present,
of course the girl was very upset, so I went to talk to him, and I told him:
do you know this is a problem? he said he knew it was a problem.
I said why don't you change it? he told me I don't want to change,
just knowledge is not enough. he does not want, why?
because it didn't cause him any kind of stress, live his day well, lunch, sleep, afternoon time comes out, nothing,
I told him well, God willing. returned to his wife, I said you want advice. she said yes,
I said, if he brings you to your family tomorrow and comes to take you at twelve o'clock, refuse to come back.
how? I told her to refuse. okay, I'd like it but I'm tired, I just sit with my family for three days. I am tired and want to rest, rested three days,
the hall was filled with silence and bags of restaurants, and his clothes changed, mess in the kitchen, chaos everywhere,
he began to feel a kind of tension and confusion, he began to feel her loss. he began to feel the need for her.
here he realized that her absence is a problem, he wanted to came her back,
she said we negotiate, now we are negotiating, where is their problem?
the problem was that her husband did not see that in his absence in this way there was a problem.
many things in our children, for example, I say to my son now that you should leave the Sony,
leave the ipad, he doesn't see the problem with that.
while you and I see it as a problem and cause you a kind of tension and confusion.
here is a huge problem of the problem, the problem is if a person falls into it and does not feel it.
if he does not feel pain, confusion and tension, he will not rush to change them.
so what is the solution? we must advise people. ask, compare, research, diagnose,
and this, God willing, we will talk about it if facilitated. ok trouble bells or excuse me alarm bells,
I mean, the bells that tell us, Yasser, be careful, you must change.
so-and-so needs to change, what are these bells? first, lots of problems.
a lot of problems indicate that you need to change. lots of problems in the work environment.
in your house, in your car, in a group on WhatsApp, in your body,
many problems say watch out, there is danger. so many problems call you to stop,
you have to turn left and right and try to fix what can be fixed.
too many problems a very strong bell, that there is a problem.
secondly, there are no problems.
really!!
what is this contradiction? yeah, no problems is a hidden bell, an audible alarm,
guys, no problems in your house,
no problems if you are the head of your school or in your job indicates: either people don't know or people don't work,
no problems either you never know about your children. and here is a very important bell,
unreasonable, your children have problems, so illogical,
no problems, because the people you have don't know,
or not work,
I mean, they don't know. you don't know, what do they know about their problems,
what they do not say about their problems to you, you do not know about these problems, dangerous alarm. or they don't work,
for example, if you're the leader of a group and he says we don't have a problem,
naturally, the one who does not work has no problems. you need a re-change and a turning point,
and start looking at the subject, the multitude of problems is an audible bell.
and no problems is a bell we feel, if there are no problems,
ok. third, the repetition of errors. you are doing the same wrong, it's okay, you should change.
one of the indicators and bells that you need to change is repeating the mistake, you treat your son in a way,
I discovered that this method, like you're kidding with him, I found out he was yelling at this joke,
this boy does not like to joke, brother's love pranks.
repeating mistakes is one of the most important bells that the wise learns from.
the wise does not enumerate his mistakes, he does not repeat them.
fourth: when you deviate from the right path, you need to change.
on the road and you're in the car, there are cat eyes, if you get out of the way, the eyes of cats will alert you,
and in cars running their horns to warn you,
but in values, in faith, in morals,
this deviation, unless your reference is the Qur’an and the Sunnah, you will not feel the change.
unless there are people around you, through them you know.examples and models through whom you know that you are doing wrong,
you will not realize that you are deviating from the right path.
when the scales are with you and around you, already tilted, you will not feel your inclination,
By God, my standard is my brother,
ok, your brother does not pray in the mosque and you only pray once in the mosque.
Ooo! you are the best one in the world.
you will not change because you will be satisfied with yourself. so, your satisfaction with yourself is based on what?
that you have taken it as a measure and proof of right and standard for your satisfaction,
at least I pray once and he never prays,
at least I fast the six days of Shawwal, and he never fasts them.
a person begins to look at someone who is less than him, and becomes satisfied with his behavior. will not change.
so how do you know you're off the right track? look at the models, see references, Quran and Sunnah,
companions of the Prophet, (pbuh), contemporary models, do you know where you are,
someone thinks that if his father tells him to take me somewhere, or take me back,
that this is all righteousness,
if he looks at someone else and discovers that he is originally someone who does something for his father before he asks for it,
so this is righteousness, not what I am going to do. righteousness is not only carrying out orders,
deviating from the right path is one of the bells of change, that you need to change.
fifth: loss of meaning or feasibility. important, that alone is sufficient, meaning if you start to feel life has no meaning,
know that you need to change, you have a monotonous frustration, there is nothing worthy,
what you need a trip, no no, what you need a movie, no no, need a radical change,
go back, grab a pen and paper and write, you need some kind of small achievement like vitamins for the soul,
this is called loss of meaning. loss of feasibility is the feeling that I have no value, I have no feasibility,
if I miss no one asking about me, and if I attend, no one celebrates me, and if I speak, I will not be heard,
and if I interceded, I did not, know that you have a problem that needs to be changed, feeling of uselessness.
sixth, the most important of which is disability, the feeling of being handicapped, please be more focused now,
feeling handicapped, people, change is not an intended goal. not a purpose it is no no,
change is a tool and a means, not an end. no to change for the sake of change
the problem of many people is that they do not differentiate between change and renewal and modernization.
the change we mean may be the change by going back to the origins, back to roots back to right,
while modernization is a continuous aspiration and a modern value,
I am changing by leaving the old and creating an alternative. this is an update, so what is the old one?
may be your customs, may be your values, may be your religion,
no, we are not saying: that change must be changed, and so, no,
we demand change if there is a handicap. what is the meaning of disability?
disability means that it spoils your interest in your religion or your worldly affairs.
caused you a disability, something stopped you, that if it stops you, we say no, you need to change,
for example, one person had a mobile phone, but a more beautiful phone came out, his phone is working fine.
he wants to change it. we say this is not a change. this is an update. this is not required, this is not necessarily true.
but when your phone breaks, this glitch caused you to have a hindrance in communication. we say no, you should change this,
so not all of our lives need to change, sometimes we do an update, no, the update is not required now.
we are talking about the change by which there is a handicap in our lives, or without it, it has a disability in our lives.
so what are the types of disability? four types, or feeling handicapped:
sometimes, there is an obstacle, sometimes there is no obstacle,
sometimes I think there is an obstacle, sometimes I don't think there is a problem.
of course there are four types in this matrix,
number one is that there is an obstacle in life and I do not believe in it, this is a kind of negligence.
I mean, your son makes mistakes. I come to warn you, for example, I am a teacher at home, or at school.
I tell him there is a mistake, there is an obstacle, about something that is confusing your son,
and you don't think, no, I won't change anything. no, my son is doing well. here we say no, no.
you are oblivious, guys, this square, the square of inattention, will force you to change.
there will come a day when you go to the police station, God forbid, and get your son out of the police station.
and looking for the best place to raise him, but after what? after many scars and wounds.
there are hindrances in your life that you do not think are hindrances, this is an omission,
there will come a day of forced change,
guys, the week I was sitting with someone I think is one of the most intelligent men, who met them.
however, God refused except that everyone on earth should have a deficiency, I was talking to him,
he said: I don't know what happened to me? I feel tired, I told him to do some tests, he said I can't do tests.
how? he said, I have never done tests, hey man!! he said, "I can't do tests."
I have never been to the hospital before. I told him why?
he said, “my brother, I do not like the examination and I fear its results.
and then I'm doing well, I said what do you feel now?, you feel that,
he said it's okay, as long as I walk and go and come, no obstacle, does not believe there is an obstacle, this is an omission.
I told him the day will come when a forced change will happen.
the day will come when they will carry you to the hospital, now you go on your feet, better,
prevention is better than cure, this is an omission, folks. he neglects his family, his self, his health, his religion,
you see, death will not ask us, knocking at the door, he says you have three days left. try to pray like this.
suddenly come to you, the grave is the chest of labor, enter, no, there is an obstacle.
and who does not believe in its existence, is oblivious.
two, an obstacle may come to you and you think it is an obstacle. here we say you are wise,
the change in this area is a conscious change, a correct change.
hurry up, hurry up, straight away.
number three there is no obstacle, there are things in which there is no obstacle,
one who changes his job has no problem, one changes his behavior, no problem, one changes for no reason.
you have nothing, there is no obstacle,
and don't think there's an obstacle, we say this is conscious.
you say make a change, he tells you there is no need to change,
you tell him you fast every Monday and Thursday. it's tiring for you, no obstacle,
praise be to God, I am healthy, I have no problem and I do not think there is an obstacle, and I will not change,
no change here consciousness, so that change becomes our goal, we just change, we change, we change.
we live in a consumer style, we change friendships bungee jackets, change clothes, change devices, we change we change,
as long as there is no obstacle, I do not believe there is a need for change, this is awareness.
number four: believes that there is an obstacle when in fact there is no obstacle.
this is an illusion, and trying to change here is a deceptive change, it has luster, but it is not gold.
he thinks it is necessary to change, this is an illusion, a woman people don't like, she thinks,
people without reason don't like her; because her behavior is rude, she puffed her cheeks, adorns her lips,
and sculpt, blow, color, dye and... and I don't know what.
and then I went out to the people! came out like this, see me, then people did not change their view to her.
yes, her hair has become softer, but her style is still dry. it is true that her eyes are beautiful.
but she still sees and hurts, true, her lips came out, I don't know what.
but her tongue still hurts, slanders, backbites, slanders and lies.
she hasn't changed, she thinks there is an obstacle in her appearance, people get away from it,
this is an illusion change, ok, what set us the obstacle in our lives? he is seeking advice,
it's the results that I can see. what people say about me, I am neither right nor wrong, the results I can see,
scale and deviations, he determines the obstacles in my life. so change is not required.
but if there is a need for him, it is wisdom. so the problems multiplied, as their absence
repeating mistakes is considered a deviation. loss of meaning is considered a disability.
any person whose responsibilities change and does not change, a person who is not up to the level of responsibility.
escape from responsibility, my dear, an escape from comfort, he who seeks comfort misses rest,
"bliss is not defined by bliss", as Ibn al-Qayyim said, that poet says:
"I slept on ostrich feathers but could not find"
"a comfortable bed as I do my homework"
the first responsibility imposed on man,
the first responsibility that a person must have, if his responsibilities change, is to change his behavior.
the first responsibility when our umbilical cord was cut was no longer in it, no longer waiting for food to come to you,
you have to move, you have to cry, you have to scream, you gotta suck, your responsibility,
responsibility must change. change responsibilities, Al-Awza'i says:
he says: "we were laughing and having fun,
when people started following us, we were afraid that we wouldn't be able to smile".
see the words, “we were laughing and having fun”,
I mean, when we became role models,
look at the responsibility now, the responsibility of the role model,
we were afraid we couldn't smile, prestige changed us,
the Prophet, (pbuh), says the boy, what is the meaning of the boy? I mean, are you married?
your life before the boy changed your life after the boy. "the boy is a slanderer and a coward."
sad, meaning your chest is tight if something comes to him.
cowardly, you're no longer fighting a costume first, you have kids.
you have kids, shameful no longer spend like the first, you have responsibilities.
you have changed as your responsibilities have changed. my dears, every station of your life has new responsibilities that must be changed,
responsibilities are a turning point, point, you are walking like this, the responsibility came to you, right or left,
the loser is the one who continues on the same path. he get married,
when he was single it was twenty-four hours in the parks,
he does not go or sit at home, and he does not know anything about it.
he get married, it is a turning point, he keep going, neither left or right, he keep going to parks and always wastes his time.
his family failed, he could not be an exemplary husband nor a nurturing father, marriage is a turning point,
you are now as a young man, the first turning point is at puberty, turning point you are now accountable to God Almighty,
you are assigned this turning point, everything must change,
what fixes me as long as I fix the prayer, I don't know, by fasting, hiding and eating.
your responsibility, after that you went to university, major turning point,
secondary turning point, university turning point, you graduated, it is aturning point in your responsibilities,
hired, turning point, have to change, I stay up late and I don't know what,
is a turning point, your self-development is a turning point.
you got married, is a turning point, gave birth, is a turning point, your son has become a teenager,is a turning point,
the death of your father, your mother, your brothers, when you grew up, is a turning point in your life.
every burden comes to you, all responsibility comes to you, if you don't change you are not responsible
my dears,
briefly, the responsibility is: sense of duty and take it seriously, and bear the results with courage,
this tells you a responsible person,
a responsible person is the one who senses duty, deals with it seriously, and bears the consequences with courage.
meaning, I am now in a people, me and my brothers are sitting on the eating table.
my plate is my responsibility, but I left it. I am irresponsible incompetent,
my plate is my responsibility, I took it seriously. paralyzed and it friend fell,
I dealt with it seriously, but I fell, broke, and ran away. I have not bravely endured results, I am irresponsible,
so take responsibility and deal with feeling the duty,
taking it seriously, bearing the consequences with courage, you are a wonderful responsible,
with responsibilities you have to change.
a servant left a family, assign tasks to the girls, clean, decorate and....,
the one who sensed responsibility was freed, distributed, changed her character, and divided her schedule.
she said I'm used to this like this, I have the dishes and the laundry, and that's it.
I have this and I have this, arranged her affairs, who did not take responsibility did not change her life,
and she changed her schedule, and she became in conflict with her family,
and became a burden,
the reason is that she was given responsibility and she did not change his behavior according to this responsibility,
and measure on that father, mother, me and you, the second and the third.
also from the bells that show us that we must change boredom and monotony,
when our lives become repetitive, there is no production or reduced productivity,
this is not an indication that we need changes to be more productive and so on.
lest I bore you, let's talk about circles of change in a hurry,
forgive me, forgive me, forgive me once.
circuits of change, first of all, our behavior goes through this chain, first you have the resistance,
going through the idea of resistance, what is the idea of resistance?
the idea of resistance, let's say, excellent,
the idea of resistance a person sometimes sees behavior around him,
in his environment, in his school, at work, in his home, in his community.
resistance, this is not good and so, like cell phones,
one says Snape, for example, if you want to see the snap, sometimes older, leave snap,
always have your mobile phones with you, then the resistance fails, silent
enters the rejection zone rejecting, do not do the same,
then he entered the stage of coexistence, he began, they sat down, looking at their phones.
he started looking at his phone.
then he entered the stage of justification, he began to say, one started with him,
he was from the days of the resistance,
he says you have a cell phone too, we shouldn't bother people like that.
I mean, it's better than talking a lot, better than backbiting, let's see something on the phone.
come up with justification,
start doing, start practicing,
always like that, he came to unlock the phone, for example, like others.
there is no longer any rejection, no resistance, nothing, originally from the day he enters,
he looking at his phone, then comes the stage of defending this behavior,
he says leave them, let them look at their phones.
so that they don't bother us and go out in the street, they are looking at their phones or shouting, my brother.
just let them go, and defends himself,
you are looking at your cell phone. I look at my phone,
my brother, I learn and benefit, it is better for me to start the defense process,
the most extreme type of extremism in dealing with events is the call for this behavior.
he starts, says I advise you to use mobile, don't miss Snap, you don't have Snap, you are lost, enter snap,
I don't want Snap wasting my time on this, no no, what do you like? love to read,
there are Snape pioneers who have reading, experiences and history,
and starts making an invitation, this man who makes an invitation,
maybe two weeks ago he was resistant to the idea, well, why do I say this?
I say this so that we can understand, why sometimes we don't want to change.
we may be at the fourth level, which is justification, or the fifth which is the verb, or defense,
or advocating wrong behavior, someone did a diet, there was another with us who liked to eat,
the other side has resistance, has rejection, he has a rejection no, I'm keto,
leave the keto, leave the worry, come on, you won't die before your time.
notice he calls for wrong behaviour, but they are convinced,
it is as God Almighty says: {And if you disbelieved as they disbelieved, you would be alike} [An-Nisa: 89]
it means to die with the group as a mercy, invites you to wrong behavior,
this person does not change, he continued the stage of calling for error, changing him is more difficult.
let's see now, what is the relationship? what does this have to do with what comes next?
there is a thing called circles of change, the first area is called the area of habit.
habits area, or they call it the well-known name of the safety zone or comfort zone,
it is originally the area of habits, why is it comfortable? because life is automatic.
the behavior in it is spontaneous, easy, fast, life in it without friction, and when I tell you change,
I ask you to stop compatibility with the relationships and the environment around you,
it means to start from zero, it means to make an effort, it means to bear the errors,
its meaning is in pain at a price, God does not change us, happy sweet area,
you have a certain way, you have a quarter, you have a daily schedule, read ok, we don't have time
it's sunset, no, it's sunset, I'm going there, ok dinner, no, by God, we have dinner every day, ok after dawn
no after dawn I sleep, relaxing rest area, sweet area, and if a person feels mistakes during it,
for example, the comfort zone does not mean that it is all sweet, no, sometimes he smokes knowing it's wrong,
but he doesn't want to change, he doesn't want to get out of this area, accustomed to certain habits,
lunch along, after lunch, a cigarette, a cup of medium sugar, habit, rest area,
an area that does not contain trouble, effort, change, pain, work, or headache.
although they are in mistakes, but does not want to change, this area is life without friction,
then we have another area, if a person wants to change, pay attention, please, no.
one decided to change no, I'm not, I have to change my life I'm bored, I will do it,
if he begins to change a person, he enters the stage of confusion, fear, apprehension,
the excuses phase starts if he makes mistakes, the breaks, begins to regress or not to return.
it is true that he began to leave the tea, he just starts saying no, just sugar.
I mean, ok, if only once a week, ok smoke, good sport, he says I reward myself,
daily I reward myself weekly I reward myself,
the stage of confusion in which fear apprehension, pain and tightness in the chest,
and then he crosses it over to the learning area, here he starts gathering information, begins to consult,
starts trying, starts experimenting, here is the learning stage, here is the transcend stage.
he went away from the habit area, the confusion ended,he started collecting information,
he entered the club and started and discovering new people,
and he discovered in people who were worse than him, but they were able to become,
and find out that life is sweet, and discover that in the achievements,
and discover that the world is good, and that life is not trivial, and discover that there are people who change,
and discover that there are influential people, no no no, discover a new threshold in life.
a window overlooking a forest with which he is never familiar, go on and on and on
his results began to appear, development appeared, this is the target area.
and he began to expand his goals, he wanted something simple, no, broaden the target,
he wanted to memorize a little, he became a lot, he wanted to get thinner, he wanted to get thinner a lot.
development area, he was full of grease, now he tells people how to get rid of them.
and the transformation of a person from a patient suffering to a doctor who examines,
oh! where is the one who was in the area of habit, I am what I am,
no, no, man have changed, not the same as before.
that is why the Hajjaj said one day to those who sit with him:
"anything that prevents fatigue?"
he means the thing that takes away fatigue, tired, some of them said bath means massage.
some of them said candy, some of them said about soaking and drinking dates,
I mean, something like that you're drinking.
some of them said dating, then one of the merchants said:
"nothing takes away fatigue better than success", than getting what you want, wonderful, wonderful,
then he added: “as if you were not erected and did not suffer a catastrophe”
so you got what you were asking for”
if the stage of development has come, all the fatigue that you will see will be gone,
the greatest reward that you succeed, no gifts needed, your achievement is your reward.
hey guys, by the way, this is what I told you.
you see small changes in parts of your life that can change your whole life.
I know one was broken, his view of himself is low, his prayer is messed up,
his relationships are messed up, his view of people, the view of people is confused,
he entered a club, lost weight, his life turned upside down,
his father says, "this boy's life has been turned over." because he lost twenty thirty kilos of weight, no no,
it's not, not the weight he lost, no no,
it is one of the new habits that he acquired because of this simple change.
first his view of himself changed, not because he is thin no no; because he was done;
because he decided and realized his view of himself rose, was able to accomplish;
to have time management, he had a management of greed, lust management,
he began to control himself to eat and not to eat, he forced his body to walk or not to walk.
all these sweet habits, this is a grease issue, it is a drastic change.
his change, even in his mind, in his view of things, his view of the outcome,
calculates calories, these have the ability to calculate, even pricing money and pricing things,
what his father used to say, he was buying and knew nothing, now no,
he knows how to buy, negotiate, break and spin the cheapest and finest
where did this custom come from? came from the calorie habit, this drags this, this drags this, this drags this,
these simple changes are the habit of great people,
these simple changes apply to other things, I mean, intentional.
so look, we got started in the habit zone, we came out of the circle of safety into the circle of confusion,
fear and restlessness, then we entered the learning cycle, we saw people like us,
we saw, I mean, we saw that he doesn't know how to run on the machine like me, I don't know when I first started,
the circle of learning, you see that they look a lot like you, and you see people who are better than you.
sometimes they break your heart, sometimes they don't break your mind,
they break you, do not worry, complete the learning cycle,
then the circle of development, achieving the goal and expanding the goal,
then you will become a teacher in this field, so what are my roles in these circles?
one: the circle of habits is a circle in which the diagnosis is imposed.
I start to see what is right and what is wrong in my safety circle.
two: inside the circle of confusion,
if I start to change, and the circle of confusion comes to me,
no, the goal in it is to be patient, if you remember,
here I begin to remind myself of the stimulus, remind myself of the benefits, remind myself of the reward if I do,
and in punishment if I don't, what do I gain, what do I lose?
I remind myself to get myself out of this circle, from the attraction of fear.
then enter the circle of learning, which is the circle of guidance.
I always ask those who came before me and learn and do, guiding circle,
then evolution, which is the harvest cycle, I have fruit now that I eat and sell to others.
I now have a place, from a person who was suffering to a person who helps others,
why do they say Ramadan is the month of change? because Ramadan gets you out of the habit zone.
hey guys, Ramadan is an opportunity for change, why? because it takes us out of the habit zone,
Corona was an opportunity to change many people; because it got us out of the habit zone,
habit area for example our habit of eating cleanliness, our habits of peace,
our habits of sitting at home, Guys, our view has changed.
our lecture thanks to God Almighty, then thanks to the habits of Corona.
I never believed in online courses, out of habit, I tried the first course, confused eased,
how do I not know? I do not know, and the voices of my children,
I didn't know how to turn on the mic, someone next to me helps me,
circle of confusion, things came back, I entered the learning cycle,
I began to ask, I started to see, I started taking courses too.
to the development cycle,
I started telling young people, come on, how do you give an online course,
do not give up, the cycle of habit in which gravity is equal to the gravity of bed on Thursday while you are out of work,
have an abnormal side,
thus, your exit from the circle of habit to the circle of development, what does it benefit you?
he will give you something wonderful, it is to make evolution a habit, really,
going to the club becomes a part of your life, for example, going to the club is part of your life,
this is your habit.
reading is part of your life.
I have one of the young men who used to read Qur’an and then became interested in the Qur’an.
then he started praying with people and started getting confused, and so on.
then he began to learn and write in order to memorize the Qur’an.
write the one page of Qura'an five times,
writes every page of Qura’an , I mean, he wrote the Qur'an five times.
learning circle, to the circle of development now, God willing, God willing, God willing, every three days, a review, save,
ask him, he tells me no hurt at all, even when he got married,
his wife was very afraid of him, the reason is she says while he is sleeping reciting Quran,
what did it become? it became a habit,
guys, we think that if you change, you will be humiliated.
successful people portray to us that he is bald, his eyes are big, his spectacles, and his beard is gray and droopy.
this is the price of change, no, my love, no no, the one who changes cute, looks cute once sweet,
it has nothing to do with it, just as it is a habit, your life becomes sweet, difficult at first,
after all, success becomes a habit, therefore, Ibn Masoud, may God have mercy on him, says:
“get used to goodness, so that good becomes a habit".
make yourself good, the good becomes a habit,
let's say and represent you get out of the circle of habit like this rocket launch, whatever its name.
in order to get out of the gravity of the earth, you need reinforcements.
these supports to get you out of gravity,
if this burning beginning prevents you from gravity, as Ibn al-Qayyim says, you will have a bright end.
in the sense that if you rise above the supports will melt,
and he begins to swim in the spacious air comfortably quietly
like you see them in the club, like that, whoever you see memorizing the Qur’an is like them too.
whoever you see reads three or four hours a day, the same as them, don't think that he upset his chest,
and tell him come, come with me, you'll feel comfortable,
Oh dear, he feels comfortable, is a wonderful, he is happy,
a person every day visits a group of poor people and distributes aid to them, and so on.
he spoke to him once and I told him, "let's go out together for a walk."
he said I'm changing I'm happy, I don't want you
I am in my circle of safety, and my circle of comfort, that's his whim,
his happiness, don't count success.
and if you change, you will deteriorate and your condition will deteriorate.
no, it's just the beginning, correct supports, but then, no,
so at the beginning of your life, make an effort and get tired, then play, play, play, play.
at the beginning of your life you play, you play, you play, and at the end of your life you will get tired, you will get tired, you will tire
success, first and foremost, is in the hands of God Almighty.
what is it that drags us? attractive things, negative friends, laziness, trips, sleeping, sometimes love money,
I don't have time, circumstances, my fear of failure, pessimistic inhibitors, these pull us,
what you need to see above, supports, and God will help you, God willing.
Ibn al-Qayyim says in his wonderful speech on this subject:
"access to the desired is suspended on what"
you won't get what you want except with,
after God's success, he abandoned the returns that you are accustomed to.
get out of the habit, if you usually sleep after dawn, do not sleep, I won't do that again,
if you usually eat like this, don't eat like this.
use you to spoil, don't, abandoning the returns and cutting off the plankton and obstacles,
abandon the returns of the things you are accustomed to, leave it alone, cut the plankton,
the things you love about them, cut them out, and cut off obstacles, anything in front of you,
and may God help you, God willing,
let me conclude with you in these last parts of the journey of change.
now we said that at first you are the hardest thing, the Arabs say hardship in the beginning.
the hardest thing is to change the first step, but remember those who persevere are patient,
the hardest thing is to spread yourself out of the bottom hustle and go to the top,
this is the hardest thing, you just come up from under,
the journey of change requires you more psychological things than skill things.
an example in front of us now if you see the picture, the man has come a long way from enduring faults,
change change,
until he reached a stage where he did not make mistakes in front of people and go out before people.
this is the journey of change, if you do not accept yourself to make simple mistakes, to stumble, you will not be able to walk,
once, twice, three, four, it strengthens your muscles to continue,
Youssef ‘s story, Youssef brothers are a strange thing in the journey of change,
notice what they say at the beginning, God Almighty says:
{indeed, there were signs in Joseph and his brothers for those who asked (7)
when they said that Joseph and his brother are more beloved to our fathers: 7} [Joseph 8:7]
notice, {and we are a league} [Yusuf: 8]. look at the red one.
so one: we are a gang, this is one, this great value, that we are and they are against us,
they are the second group, Yusuf and Ibn Yameen, and we are a group,
and our father is in clear shadows, {indeed, our father is in clear error} [Yusuf: 8]
he has nothing, so what do you want? {kill Yusuf or throw him to the ground} [Yusuf: 9]
why? {your father's face is empty for you}
for your father to love you, you want your father to you
{and after him you will be a righteous people} [Yusuf: 9].
then we solve it, change later, do what is appropriate, this is one of the tricks of Satan.
to take illegal money, later repent, the most important thing is to build a house for him.
and then God forgives us,
notice now, years after this scene, they put Joseph in the well, and Joseph stumbled in his life,
his father's eyes were white with sadness, his chest narrowed.
years later, the same scene is repeated, but people have changed,
Yossuf, a little while ago, was an icon of stability. Yossuf‘s brothers are an icon of change, they changed,
they said, after forty years, less and more, when they thought that their brother Ibn Yamin had stolen,
{they said, O dear, that he has a father, a great old man} [Yusuf: 78]
no longer in manifest error, no no, we changed. {so one of us took his place} [Yusuf: 78] Oh God,
well, you were saying that we are a league.
we will not separate, now we are separated because of our father,
we do not want our father as a destination for us, we want our father to be happy,
so he told them: {I will not leave the land until my father permits me} [Yusuf: 80]
you are gone, scattered, scattered, first we banded and now dispersed,
people have changed.
therefore, we do not expect the journey of change to come in a day and a night.
what is between what he said, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, “cover me, cover me, cover me
and between his smile when he uncovered the cover and saw in his death illness, Abu Bakr,
may God bless him and grant him peace, was praying with the people.
between covering me and that smile, twenty-three years in the journey of change,
he is a prophet repaid by God Almighty, do not come quickly,
a party is a journey between you and yourself, and the people of Paradise are the people of kindness.
triy to change yourself, it is said on the authority of the imam that when death approached him,
Satan said to him, Iblis came to him.
and he said: “l could not get you, Ahmed”!
how could I seduce you, what did Imam Ahmed say?
not yet said, I have a breath left, so ask God Almighty for steadfastness until you dies
in order to change, I said a little while ago, we mentioned to you a while ago the issue of repetition.
and that it is not necessary to change, see results the next day immediately
the ancestor has a very beautiful word, they say: "the one who establishes will sprout",
the meaning, if the tree is fixed, it will grow, transmitted every moment it will not sprout.
behavior as well, behavior needs roots, fix the behavior so that it sprouts,
like the most beautiful trees in the garden of your personality, God willing.
so we need three things, and these three I heard,
the first thing I heard from Professor Fahad Al-Qaithan, I really liked it, frankly.
I benefited a lot from it, three things: first focus, concentration,
the man is at the rays of the sun, if he doesn't have a lens, this beam can't burn anything, all dissipate,
if you ever want to change, focus, the things you want to focus on.
what you change, focus on it, then you have to be persistent.
you may focus with the lens but you move, don't burn anything.
you have to persevere, then you have to keep going, meaning sometimes you become fixed,
and then you finish, fix and then finish, you have to keep going,
here, change will happen, God willing, every moment I ask for guidance, payment, and aid.
always say there is no power or strength except with God over every obstacle that stands in front of you.
for there is neither might nor power except with God, the angels bearers of the throne are able
to carry the throne of the Most Merciful without might nor power except with God
how did he carry the throne of the Most Merciful!!!, how is a goal in front of me or in front of you, no challenge or change, no no no,
so focus, persistence, and persistence, focus, nothing distracts you from your goal.
Yahya Ibn Yahya is the most knowledgeable of the people of Andalusia.
he came as a young man, on his feet from Andalusia to Medina to Imam Malik University on a scholarship from Andalusia.
he sits and listens and writes with Imam Malik, an elephant passed through the city, this is a great event, Hashtag, trend.
Imam Malik - may God be pleased with him - said, O Yahya,
of course everyone who attended the lesson went to see the elephant,
Yahya sat in front of Imam Malik, Imam Malik said, O Yahya, get up and look at him.
you will not see anything like it in your home, there are no elephants in Spain or Andalusia.
you will not see anything like it in your home. Yahya - and he was wise – said:
O Imam, I came to see you, not to see the elephant.
and you talk with the people of Andalusia about you, not about the elephant.
what a great focus, focus, how can anything distract you from your goal,
and you know why you don't change, I and you and the second and third,
there are warnings on the path to change, watch out for them.
warnings on the path of change as you go change, in simple warnings,
you must keep it in mind, there is something you want to change now.
have something in your mind that you want to change so that we apply the warnings.
first, the target is too far away, the target too close is wrong,
a distant goal makes you feel impossible, part it, breakout stage,
a goal that is too far makes you feel impossible, put you down,
a goal that is too close makes you feel underestimated rather than thrilled. make your goals realistic as possible.
it is impossible to be a target at all.
the problem for many people is that their goals are small, therefore, he does not do it,
or his goals are too big, and he is already tired of starting with them.
I didn't stumble into pebbles, or calves to shorten a thousand miles
it is not my fault that my path is not level, all my fault is the long dress of my dreams
his dress was long and began to fall, here is problematic,
"Al-RAFEA" has a very, very, very beautiful word.
he says: "the impossible is of two kinds". he says: “impossible not to come to you”,
for example, the destiny and share of others
that you go to the sun and come back at the same moment, impossible to be, impossible,
impossible will not happen
he says: this is the first kind of impossible, what is the second type of impossibilities? he said:
the second type: something possible, but you do not come to it, thus it will be impossible.
impossible is of two kinds: it is impossible not to come to you.
and something possible, but you do not come to it, thus it will be impossible.
memorizing the Qur'an is possible, but you don't, don't start it,
don't start right, it turns out impossible for you,
losing your weight, you just don't do it, and it becomes impossible,
so I have two goals:
excuse me, let's talk to you a little about the goals and the challenges so that we can conclude,
and I'm sorry I bothered you, but we're dating. it's an evening.
challenges is four types:
either that is a high challenge, or it could be a low challenge.
either your ability to it is high, or your ability to it is low.
these are four things,
someone who has a high challenge with a low ability feel,
make your life anxious,
in a high challenge, it means that your boss and some other manager are attending,
so and so and the official attends like this,
and your ability is low the first time you make an offer, for example,
you're very anxious that day, that's a challenge.
the second kind of challenges no, high challenge and high ability, this is kind of exciting.
there is something important and a high capacity for it, this is an exciting challenge.
I mean your team is strong, and you compete with strong people,
excite, this is excitement, not anxious, excitement, high challenge and high ability.
third: low capacity and low challenge, this is a life of indifference.
fourth: your ability is high, but the challenge is low here. boredom.
we go through four stages in our entire life, there is something interesting.
there is something to worry about; because we don't know there is much,
in something we are bored; because we are accustomed to it and appreciate it, and it has become easy.
and about something we don't even care about; because it is not challenging,
and if I don't know, but it is simple, what he should think, indifference.
the problem is that when one of these squares gets bigger, when your whole life is anxious,
when you enter a field you are bored,
I mean, I know one of the young men, for example, who took a doctorate, and he is an elementary teacher in Sharia.
he took a doctorate while studying in primary school, he says I'm bored,
why? the ability is high and the challenge is low,
the method is simple, although teaching children is very difficult,
the challenge is low for him, when he moved to university teaching, he became excited.
high ability, high challenge, wonderful,
when he was asked to sit with students of science and speak, he became anxious.
high challenge and low power here, became anxious and so, ok, so what do I want to say?
what I want to say is if you want to change, get out of the boredom box.
don't do the things you used to do, do not do the things that are less than you,
this does not change you, this deceives you, this makes you feel swollen, beware of indifference,
low challenges and you don't have abilities, make sure to be in the action square with high challenge and high ability,
also, be careful of the anxiety square and do not overdo it.
meaning that you expose yourself to challenges that are sometimes beyond your capabilities.
please expose yourself to challenges sometimes beyond your capabilities to strengthen your muscles.
how do you develop yourself? if you do the things that you are accustomed to, and you are aware of them,
no, enter areas that you do not understand in order to acquire new habits and different skills.
we also said that we are among the things to be wary of on the journey of change:
too far target, very close target, the satisfaction.
beware of satisfaction, it destroys change,
being satisfied with your memorization of the Qur’an will not make you gain more.
being satisfied with your worship will not make you gain more.
satisfaction with seeking perfection in general,
seeking excellence, not perfection. sorry.
satisfaction in seeking perfection is a deficiency,
no, continue, satisfaction with the request of his excellency, excuse me a lack,
continue in worship, continued in ethics, complete in knowledge complete,
as for contentment with the world, about the material, no this is very happy.
fourth: there are many things that have aspirations, this is one of the big problems.
dispersion in the multiplicity of ambitions, beware of them, try here, try here, try here.
you will discover that you will not change.
fifthly, starting with others, O people, many teachers, many educators.
many preachers, many of the observant, God willing, may God bless you or people who love good.
he always likes to advise, he starts with the other and neglects himself.
he tries to change others but not himself, trying to be a bridge
he try to be a bridge that people cross through him to heaven, then he might fall into the fire,
Ibn al-Qayyim says a beautiful word,
he says: "the most perfect of men, complete in himself, complete for others."
start with yourself, don't start with others, change yourself first, then start with the others.
I remember once asking an old man who was ninety-six years old,
he meant his life spent between the mihrab and the pulpits, so I told him, Sheikh, advise me.
he said what do you want, I said I would like to enter the field of preaching and that's it.
then advise me.
and of course I mean training, but I'm afraid that he doesn't understand the idea of training and that,
so I told him to invite him to understand it, and if this is a means to this, I told him to advise me.
he said to me, “my son, before preaching, you must set an idol, I do not forget this word,
and before the reform, you should do the right thing, the meaning: start with yourself.
and keep it away from it's whims, start with yourself, it is a mistake to start with others.
one of the mistakes is the rush of results, another mistake is not knowing the price.
a person will be shocked if he begins to change, begins to focus on the positives.
he ignores the price he will pay from his time, his relationships and his beloved's effort.
then if he starts, he can no longer come back, or he returns and loses everything he built,
it is very important when you start to know the price.
eight: of course out of ignorance of the price in some things.
for example, a lack of awareness of the consequences, he wants to change his relationship.
it might be someone you want to change, he is the reason for your survival.
be upset by this, borrow money to buy this, leave this profession, job change,
you don't know, maybe this thing is causing you balance. you must know the outcome.
sometimes a person does not know the price of what he will do, look at this picture for example in a hurry,
he says balloon ride for free, climb up and ride, when he got up, he said to him from below,
he told him you see above a binoculars that he used, the one above claimed the binoculars and took a look below.
the men below hold a sheet of paper, and this endoscope discovered what was written on the paper, going down a thousand dollars
well, if he had known from the start, he wouldn't have done it.
so the identifier of the outcome - very important in the journey of change,
here he started and he knows where to stop, here is a flaw in the beginnings of change, planning for change,
here's Hillel saying this is my suggestion for solving the traffic jam,
you make all the streets go in one direction.
ok and back, we think about it then.
some people live this way, borrow and then think about solving it then,
where do you pay from? we think about it then, you do that,
alright then? we think about it then.
this is ignorance of the price of change, the opinion of others,
hey guys, other people's opinion number eight, others opinion, what do you think of others?
especially in the field of discouragement and not in the field of counseling,
they said if he embraced Islam, this is the first story.
the first scene in the story: if the donkey of Al-Khattab had embraced Islam, Omar would not have embraced Islam.
this is the first scene, the last scene in the story is that he is buried next to the Prophet, (pbuh). what greatness?
why will he not enter Islam? so-and-so will not succeed. who told you?
this young young child comes sitting in a lesson of hadith and jurisprudence,
the imam says to him, and the imam is his uncle, he may know him more than anyone else.
he said, my son, you are not fit for such a thing, find another job.
you are not good for science, your mentality, looking for another job,
and the boy says I went, and I began to seek knowledge and repeat and try and strive,
he says while sitting in the mosque and the people around him,
the boy became an imam, and the people around him.
he says, "if my uncle was alive and he saw me and the people around me were studying my book, he would have expiated for his oath."
his uncle swears that a boy is not useful for seeking knowledge.
this boy is Imam al-Tahawi, and his uncle Al-Muzni, Al-Shafi'i's oldest student,
however, if people degrade you, they will not change your destiny, let him say what he wants.
what do others think? no, it will change, God willing.
I met someone after a while, they once challenged him that he was losing weight.
he weighed over one hundred and thirty-four, I saw him after a while, like my weight,
of course after a year or more, more, I asked him the question directly.
I told him, God willing, muzzled? he said, I gagged my hand.
what a great determination, this man has not changed his weight,
many things have changed, many things.
so that change brings with it other changes, so please don't let other people's opinion break you.
ninth: Ignoring the parties affected by the change,
this is one of the very important things, I'm about to change,
ok, this is a change that harms my wife and harms my children, my partner is hurt,
my neighbour, my mother, my father, my brothers, no,
I have to involve them in the decision to change, so that they can support me,
for example, for health, well, tell them not to do that, and they do that.
there are people who participated in their families and occupied them,
like someone who doesn't fix mistakes, suppose before the decision to change take her opinion,
she annoyed.
tenth, this is one of the biggest, procrastination, when you give what you want over what you need,
in short procrastination, listen to me by your heart, I have a broken light in the house in the men's council,
O Yasser, fix it, God willing, God willing, fix it, God willing, God willing, God willing,
a friend called me to visit you, quickly fix it, how does procrastination turn into urgency?
which simply happened the idea of procrastination, it is painful to start working.
I knock on one, nor do I buy with a soul that fixes it, there is pain, there is fatigue,
any pain without it wouldn't make me work, my wife told me right, that day she got angry and pissed off.
still, the pain that I work and fix is more tiring than I will fix, but when my friend said I will visit you,
the pain of seeing the light broken in the assembly is greater than the pain of repairing it.
and when it became higher, I did it.
this is how procrastination does to us, let us understand it to control it.
my manager comes to work, I postponed the work on the report, postpone work, until tomorrow night,
send me a message, God willing, Yasser is ready.
you see, tomorrow he will bring so-and-so with us, we must answer him.
didn't I apologize tomorrow that there is a group and a committee that would be very loud,
more than the pain that I work all night on it, immediately I start working on it.
that is why people postpone work until they feel more pain than the pain of starting.
why did you reach this stage and enrich your life, make your whole life work in emergency,
extinguish the fire, pain pain pain, arrange your priorities and ask God Almighty for blessing in your time,
and you have to be early, seize the morning,
hey guys, what job takes two minutes from you, do it now, get it done now, and rest.
any business, just call so-and-so, what is the easiest task? the task is like a mosquito,
piss you off, and you can't, do it immediately, keep you busy, the whole task is communication, all reply,
most of the delay asks for perfection, I don't answer his call.
he replied with a sweet message, delay the request, the other person gets hurt.
tenth, or eleventh conditional change, suspend the change to a specific event,
marriage, graduation at the end of a year, you see the planning.
planning courses are active at the end of the year, because it is related to the end of a year, for example,
conditional change, if I pay off my debts, if you graduated no no,
now don't wait for the beginning of a year to plan, don't wait for a shock to change,
don't wait for a situation to be affected, do not wait for misfortune to awaken.
don't wait to get out, don't wait for a job, don't wait for money, don't wait, stand, don't wait for anyone, don't wait for a reason
start now as long as you are in the breath,
start the flame of enthusiasm before the winds of indecision put it out, excited go,
then the last commandment of the journey of change is comparisons, beware of comparisons
because sometimes we want to change like others, fashion in a specific thing
they began to read novels and thought. let me read with them, I'm changing,
you won't last because you're imitated, you are not really willing, comparisons,
make the change stem from within you, from your desires, from your motives,
from your needs, from your disabilities that you want to get rid of.
one of your goals that you want to achieve, God willing.
we will finish in five minutes, God willing, we will conclude, God willing, I'm so sorry,
one of the things that hurts the comparison is this picture.
I show it often and take care of it, this picture is an unfair test of abilities, why?
because he asked them to climb the tree,
ok, so whoever wins is the bird and then the monkey, but the elephant will lose,
the fish will lose, the dog will lose, the seal will lose, the penguin will lose.
so sometimes we compare our abilities to one, or compare his field with ours,
he may be special in some things, and I am in other things.
I wasn't made for this, he was made for this.
everyone is facilitated for what he was created for, he is facilitated for what he was created for.
and I am facilitated for what I have been created for.
for example, if we want to modify this picture, we will come,
we say this tree, the tree contest won the bird,
a climbing competition in the things that the bird enters, the monkey won,
weightlifting competition won the elephant,
skating competition the penguin won, the swimming pool the fish won,
sniffing contest won the dog, the sweeping competition, for example, was won by the seal.
everyone is facilitated for what he was created for, when I judge myself wrongly;
because I'm not in this field, or want to change, the elephant said a tree like them,
I will dress them up, ride for me two wings,
you don't fit that, no, I'll go, imitate them, mimic the bird.
see the penguin skating I'm skating,
I'll ski down two mountains and mess up the wild life of southern Alaska, do not imitate,
everyone has their own field, I want to change in what?
I will change the following: one: in convictions,
your convictions towards your Lord Almighty, towards your religion,
towards yourself, towards the world, towards society, towards people, towards your family, towards your ambition, your goals,
changing convictions fuels success.
two: change of interests guys, I remove my negative interests,
and get rid of it, I invest in positivity.
I make readings about it, about relationships related to interests;
because interests are the compass of success, my interests change, I change my interests.
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