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The Cycle of Trauma PT II (triggers, biases, association, & fake solutions)

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When your mind begins to spiral and you

have no idea what to do about it or why

you are this way, it is residue of past

trauma. How many people do you know who

have church hurt? Almost everybody. And

they hate the church, right? How many

people do you know who have people hurt?

Oh yeah. Do they hate all people? No.

What's the difference? Ah, you're

triggered. Not all social categorization

is bad. Some of it's really helpful.

Like what? The third week of the month

and your business is on pace to lose

money. What do you do? You're going to

do the same thing you did the last time

you were the third week of the month.

Now you're looping and you're neurotic.

When you're triggered, it means that

something in your body is still active

that wants to be dealt with because time

doesn't heal. Time buries. The reason

that attachment styles are even a thing

is because what we have battled with in

our past is a threat to our future. This

is where people become addicted to

failure because for their entire lives

they've tried to do something it has not

worked out and slowly but surely the

neuroplasticity of the brain accepts

failure as a proof point that we are normal.

normal.

Everyone wants to get to the high places

but if you want to go high you first

have to go deep. Welcome back to the

deep end. What's up bro? What's up dude?

How are you? Wonderful. Had a good is

everything in your life. Everything in

my life is really good. There's a giant

list of everything that's going wrong.

Tell us. Well, I got woken up at 3:00

a.m. in last night for I think Holy

Spirit reasons for the first time in my

life. Dude, I had a I had like I saw

something. You know, is is an open

vision when you see something when your

eyes are open or closed? I feel like

it's supposed to be when your eyes are

open, right? It's just more about the

lucidity of it. Yeah. I saw something I

saw something with my eyes closed that

looked more real than when my eyes were

open. And that's never happened until

last night. So, that was a little bit

scary. Nothing crazy. Um, I saw just

like a woman in brown curly hair outside

the glass doors in my living room.

Does she look nice? I don't know. I

It had me a little bit worried and I was

like, dude, I've never My heart was

racing. I've never had that before where

I saw something that was as real as when

my eyes are open. It was, did you talk

to her? No. I It was like 2 and 1/2 seconds.

seconds.

Way clearer than a dream. way clearer

than like even a memory that you could

remember. It was like I was literally

there. One of our clients uh the other

day, one of his friends came over and uh

they were I think a like a practicing

witch of some kinds. Um and he got saved

recently and so he would called me and

he was like, "What what am I supposed to

do?" And I was like, "Oh, just just ask

Holy Spirit what to do and he'll tell

you." And so he did and she was really

interested in like what am I supposed to

do with this cuz she doesn't want to be

anymore I guess and I don't know all the

details but she doesn't want to be what

she was. So he was like helping her

through it. Then like a week later, he

messaged me and he was like, "Hey, there

was a big spirit in my room." And I woke

up and I was like, "What are you doing

here?" And it didn't answer me. And he

was like, "How did you get in here?" And

it was like, I came in on her said her

name. And so I got permission to be

here. And he was like, "What am I?" He's

like new Christian. He's like, "What am

I supposed to do with this?" I was like,

"Well, that's a great question." Um, and

we we talked talked a little bit about

it, but yeah, stuff is real. People are

under the stupidest delusion that none

of that if you can't see it, it's not

real. It's like, dude, science has

disproved this. This is crazy. You go

out and look at the wind and be like,

nah, not real. Can't see it. Like, is it

funny? Sometimes people are like,

churches won't talk about it, so they'll

go talk to you about it. Yeah. I think

that's why people think that like

secretly they think that you're their

pastor cuz they're like usually the

pastor is the person that you don't you

don't trust anybody else but the pastor

because they're supposed to be the good

guy that gets it. I think that's

probably why people secretly are like

pastor Taylor even though you're like

heck no. They're like you just get it

and you don't make them feel like a

psychopath. They honestly I think people

don't understand like in my current

iteration of my life right now I would

be the worst pastor in the world.

I would strongly disagree. Well, well,

cuz I actually don't really care about

the situation that much. Pastors have to

have this like empathy and they're like,

"Oh, there's like bleeding for people."

And I'm like, "No, that is okay. That

the role of pastor." Yeah, I could see

that. I don't know the role of a pastor

very well. Maybe later, but not right

now. Good teacher. Definitely apostolic.

Yeah, man. The apostolic you can just

write letters from prison, not talk,

dude. That's what you should do. You

know who's a good pastor? You know who's

a good pastor? Who? Signarelli. Yeah.

People want to hate on him because

they're dumb, but he's got the mind of

an apostle, the gift of a prophet, and

the role of a pastor. It's like a

triangulation in one person. When we met

him for the first time, I was like, "Wa,

dude, you're like bringing stuff into my

house. It's amazing. I just want him to

stay here." Uh, but he won't cuz he's

too busy. But anyway, Signar, if you're

listening to this, we love you. Anyways,

um we were going to talk about economics

today, but I didn't tell you this, but

my wife woke up at like 4:00. Holy

Spirit woke her up. You guys both woke

up and then she woke up. So, I walked

into the sun room this morning and um

like I didn't know all the details and I

was like

something happened in this house.

God was here. And you can just feel it

because it's overwhelming sometimes

where it's like I don't want to do

anything at all. I just and I sat and

just like stared outside for 10 or 15

minutes and I was like this is the best

feeling in the world. I was like babe

our house is crazy right now. And she

was on a walk and she was like I woke up

at 4:00 and like laid on the floor

worshiping God and I was like I can

tell. She was like yeah I was in the sun

room. I was like oh checks out. Yes.

It's like so Holy Spirit has the best

there's like um almost a residue. What

what is the what is the character trait?

Well, there's a lot of character traits

of the Holy Spirit. One of them is that

he hovers. So he was the spirit of God,

the ruach of Ellelion that hovered over

the face of the deep at the beginning.

Hovered. What does it mean to hover? You

sit there. You sit there. You just

hover. And so when Holy Spirit is in a

room, it takes a long time for that room

to like go back to normal.

There's a residue. It hovers over the

room. Mhm. And so when you have like a

God moment, whe whether it's in your

car, whether it's in a chair or

whatever, this is kind of partially how

altars are work, too. You're very likely

to have another God moment in the same

place if you go back there because

there's a residue there that doesn't

leave. Mhm. And when when Holy Spirit is

in a place

like the the kingdom of darkness doesn't

really want to be around where the

kingdom of light is really strong.

So it's not this war the way that people

think about it. We are in a war. It's a

war of the ages. But it's not like okay

we have to like get a bunch of like you

know bombs and stuff to go after this

thing. It's like whenever Holy Spirit

shows up out

that's what dark darkness is not a

thing. Darkness is a lack of a thing.

How do you know when something's dark?

There's no light. Light's a physical

thing. Darkness is not. Mhm. So they

don't have anything. But so Holy Spirit

shows up and it's like scatter like a

light going on. Everything scatters

away. And when you go back into that

place, you just even if you don't know

what it is, you just feel like, wow, I

don't feel any negativity anymore. I

don't feel any fear anymore. So, um,

while I was in the sun room this morning

just like hanging out,

I was like, I think we're supposed to

talk about something different today.

This is the same thing that happened

when we talk about when we talked about

shame. We were supposed to talk about

something different, but we talked about

shame. Mhm. So, my thought today is we

talk about uh triggers.

What does it mean to be triggered and

how to remove triggers? There are

spiritual triggers, there are

biological, physiological triggers,

there are mental triggers. There's all

this sort of sort of science around it.

But when you when you are

trapped by a system that sabotaged you

when you were young and you cannot get

free from it, when your body betrays you

in a moment, when your mind begins to spiral

spiral

and you have no idea what to do about it

or why you are this way, it is residue

of past trauma. So, it's it it can be a

traumatic response where your body and

your mind and your soul, all of it is

trying to protect you from something,

but you no longer require that

protection. So, it'll probably be a

pretty deep episode. I feel like it's

important right now for some reason

because of where we're about to go as a

human species in the next 6 to 12

months. What do you mean by that? Where

about where we're but whatever is about

to happen on the earth. Where do you

Spiritually, where do you think we are?

Because I think there's a there's

definitely a depth to trauma. There's a

lot of people who talk about healing now

because of just even just things that

happened in the the past century.

There's just a lot of things that we've

had to heal from as a result of it. So,

where do you see Okay, I'll say

something that stood out from to me

about the last time we talked about

trauma. You said we have an inability to

move forward because we can't get past

our past.

Do you still feel like we're very much

in that place now or would you describe

it differently?

Who's we? Uh like everyone society at

large. Yeah. Uh society large is still

in the same place. I think I mean we're

moving forward but I think potentially a

time is coming where we'll have a buffet

of fake solutions.

And you don't think we're there yet? No,

not yet. I don't think that the

solutions are palpable enough. Why? By

fake solutions, I don't mean, hey, sell

your soul to new age witchcraft. That's

not a fake solution for people who know

Jesus, but a

legitimately fake solution where you

cannot tell the difference because you

have not spent enough time with Jesus.

And so, you think that like there's this

guy right now who is um one of my

buddies who was uh who was an atheist

who is like coming starting to get saved

and he's going to church and a bunch of

stuff. In fact, do you remember the

story I told you about how I wasn't tithing?

Like 2019 era. No, six months ago. Wait.

Yeah. So, I story. So, I was mad. I So,

you know my story. I was very

financially affluent and then kind of

became less and then have started

working my way back. But I was I had a

standoff a little bit with with uh my

wife because she was like, "You're not

She found out I wasn't tithing somehow." Um

and you know me, I was like, "If I don't

feel like I'm led to do it, I won't do

it." She's like, "Well, what about

Malachi?" I'm like, "Old Testament,

screw that. Who cares?" Like, but

there's the difference between tithing

and generosity. They're not the same

thing. So, it's not that we weren't

being generous is we didn't have a

system for it. Um, and this was this was

for a period of like 8 months. I've

tithed my whole life, but whatever. And

so she was like, "I think you need to

tithe." And I was like, "No, when God

takes me back to where he promised me,

then I'll do that."

And I can hear the haters in the

comments right now like, "Oh my god,

this is why I'm not a pastor." Yeah, you

literally just said it. I just proved

it. Um,

but anyways, this buddy of mine who was

at the time the hardcore atheist, he

calls me the next morning and he was uh

he said, "Hey, do you tithe?" I was

like, "How do you know what tithing is?"

He's like, "I know this like giving

money to churches and stuff." And I was

like, "Well, I do, but right now I'm not

cuz I'm wrestling through some things

with with God." I'm like, "He doesn't

even believe in God." So, I feel like a

crazy person. We've talked about it, but

he always makes fun of he was made fun

of me for believing in God. Like he's a

friend of mine, but he's an atheist.

Like I don't cut people out just because

they don't believe the same things that

I do. Like equally yolked hogwashes for

marriage grow up. We're supposed to be

in the world, not of the world. We can't

do anything about it if we're not

willing to have relationships with

people who are not in our sphere of

belief systems. And he goes, "I really

feel like God wants you to tithe."

I said, "Bro, you're an atheist."

What do you mean God wants me to tell?

He's like, "I don't know. Um, I'm not

I'm not actually sure." And I said,

"Okay, well, I'll do it." Remember how

many times I've said the words of God

can come through a mouth of an atheist,

a Hindu, uh, whoever. God wants to get

your attention, he will get your

attention. So, anyways, I was like,

"Okay, message received. I'll do it."

So, I started doing it. Well, he like

starts going to church and is getting

saved. I don't know if he's prayed the

ABCs doo of salvation or not, but he's

talking to God. So, I assume that he's

developing a relationship. And he texted

me the name of somebody this morning. He

said, "Have you heard of this person?" I

said, "No." And he started explaining

who this person was. And he's like,

"He's a strong Christian, but he thinks

that Paul is heretical and that Jesus

was not actually a deity."

I wonder if we're talking about the same

person. Fake solution.

You're fake. You're a fraud. Everything

you've ever studied about the Bible is a

lie. You can't read because you're

possessed. And you have Christians who

are going to have these options. Oh,

this person must be a prophet. They

raised this person from the dead, but

they don't believe in Jesus's God. They

believe in Yahweh. Okay, that's a pretty

big distinction. That's a significant

alteration of what we believe. Hey, this

person over here is all into new age,

but they believe in tithing and

generosity. So I think they might be

closer than this pastor is now. Part

numero uno. This is a failure of pastors

in the west.

I don't hate you. I'm not upset with

you. I believe that you have a calling

if you're a pastor. But if you don't

have power and influence and you're not

casting demons out and you're not doing

your job, then what's the world going to

go to? The people who are.

There shouldn't be no vacuum in the body

of Christ where it's like, well, this

church is doing really good things for

water wells in Africa, but they don't

actually do anything in their city.

Unacceptable. So, people are going to go

to Joe Despensza because Joe Despensza

will walk through a hospital, Jake, and

people will get healed. And he doesn't

even believe in Jesus. That's real

power. So, the world's going to have

these fake solutions and they're just

trying to choose and pick and choose and

they can't tell. So, I think when it

comes to where we are right now, we're

coming into we're coming through the

gate of the fake solution era where how

can you argue with someone who is

healing kids of cancer,

but they're doing it through universal energy.

energy.

How do you argue with that? Well, the

argument only exists because the people

of God lack power and they are not

willing to be bold. They're not willing

to try and fail. They pray once, it

doesn't happen. They don't believe the

Bible anymore. It's the weakness that's

allowing other solutions to get in. And

so, we have to be very careful and make

sure that we're cleaned up before we get

to that place so that we're not the

triggers we have are not weaponized

against us. How many people do you know

who have church hurt? Almost everybody.

And they hate the church, right? How

many people do you know who have people

hurt? Oh, yeah. Do they hate all people?

No. What's the difference? Ah, you're

triggered. You're triggered. And when

you become triggered and you do not fix

it, when your body has a a a sematic

edge to it that cannot process trauma

effectively, you will make up your own

theology, call it God, just to avoid healing.

And guess who else does this?

Christians, non-Christians, people in

church, people who are douurched, every

human does it. Because when we cannot

justify our own issues and we can't fix

them, we end up pretending that

whatever theological belief we adhere to

must be the right way. Okay. So, I have

a question on this. When you said you

were talking about like fake solutions

and like Joe Despensza and you were

talking about how uh there's um people

that are basically the power is falling

out of people going to pastors and going

people with power, right? That made me

think of how much of in society is

comparison with people where people are

like oh because they're big like they

must be bad and so that makes them feel

better about themselves and then they'll

justify I saw this all the time with

like a small this just to give an

example like I would see a smaller

church and they were like because we're

small that means we must be pure because

we're this we must be this because

they're big that might that means they

must have compromise. And so it's this

weird association that keeps happening

all over the place. And then so when

some I know people personally who will

hear what you just said and they'll be

like, "Oh, because Joe dispenses this.

Oh, because this." And they'll justify

it rather than dealing with the problem

over and over and over again. So somehow

that led to me wanting to ask you like what

what

when you see this overexposure and it

has to do with you can help me word this

correctly but I think there's something

that is resonating with me that I'm

thinking about when it comes to

overexposure and association. When I'm

overexposed to something over and over

and over again, I start to associate

with big equals bad, small equals good,

poor equals pure, rich equals compromised.

compromised.

What's happening? Uh that that's just

associations. I mean, everything in a

person's life tends to run on

associations. When

if you get into the science of

associations, you have three or four

like main

theories around associations. So, what's

an association? It's it's like an

emotional link. You know, when you go to

a restaurant and it's a really nice

restaurant and you order like a really

nice steak and they're like, "Oh, this

pairs well with this wine." This is a

like emotional pairing thing. So like

our bodies and our our neurochemistry

does the same thing. So when you

experience something that you've

experienced before, you have like

emotional pairing.

So this feeling goes really well with

this situation. This

This

future projection pairs really well with

what's happening right now. And it's a

form of it can be a form of discernment

when you just go into a room or have you

ever talked to somebody and you're like

just say something smells off with

that%. Some of that's emotional pairing

like you've you've encountered something

like this before. You can't fully

remember it. It's in your subconscious

memory bank somewhere. And so your

brain's kind of like hey like this

didn't work out well the last time. So

there's an association there. When we do

this with people it's called social

categorization. Um,

racism comes because a social category

develops stereotypes. So, it's a

category with stereotypes attached. But

not all social categorization is is bad.

Some of it's really helpful. Like what?

Like, okay, if you see a person in a

suit and tie in glasses in the middle of

New York City,

what would you think? Author, smart,

probably uh professional, thinks well of

themsel. Okay. If you see me walking

around New York City in like shorts and

a t-shirt, what do you think? Very

normal day. If you're wearing a suit and

tie, something's wrong. Okay. So, social

categorization helps you understand

like, okay, what's the context around

this person? What's the context around

this situation? We all hate being

embarrassed. No human I've ever met

likes being embarrassed or like putting

their foot in their mouth or like acting

stupid. Have you ever said something

you're like, I should not have said

that. Never. Yeah, of course. That never

happens to you. It happens to me all the

time. Um,

We don't like that. And so the body

develops systems to avoid being in that

position. And if we look at it

evolutionarily, micro evolution and

adaptation, this was to keep us alive.

It was a survival strategy. Like if you

see another tribe and you've never seen

them before and they look dangerous,

you're going to categorize them

immediately and you're going to stay

away from them. You're not going to go

poke them and stuff like you're you

don't want to get your whole tribe

killed. Mhm. you know, so social

categorization is a is a form of protective

protective

um mental huristics, so to speak. So,

it's a it's not all a bad thing.

However, when you see a person in New

York City with a suit and a tie

and glasses

and you begin to judge that

based on your experience or your mom's

experience, that then becomes a

stereotype. It's no longer just how do I

interact in this situation contextually.

It is this person's good, bad, greedy.

It's judging the category based on

people around you. Make it even crazier.

Let's say you see a person with a suit

and tie a pair of glasses walking in New

York City,

but they're black.

Then what do you think? How does your

categorization change? And people will

listen to this and they'll be like,

"Well, I don't have any I don't have any

biases at all." Liar. You're a liar. All

you do is lie if you think that. Like we

have we have social categories that

unfortunately turn into stereotypes. And

we have to be really ruthlessly honest

about about that. And so when someone

challenges me, like how many challenges

did we receive in comments that were

just constructive and they're like, "Hey

bro, like you don't like Christians.

That's not fair. I'm a Christian." Well,

there's a social category that had

stereotypes from my past that was being

like retroactively applied to everyone.

So, this is an association. But

associations can be really strong. The

linkage is really strong or it can be

more loose. So, we don't fully

understand it. It is it isn't just

people either.

Like you can have classically

conditioned associations. You remember

Pavlov's dog?

This the scientist basically took a dog

and like would ring a bell and every

time he ring a bell he would give him

food and then before long he would just

ring a bell and the dogs would start

like salivating wanting food right you

switch it ring a bell hit him in the

face and then every time you ring a dog

would run away so this is like classical

conditioning associations you have

operant conditioning classical

conditioning you have um he heavy

learning which is the which is actually

the neurochemistry of associations if

you ever heard the phrase these neurons

that um that fire together

wire together. Mhm. So like if every

single time you do a certain activity,

you also do another activity, you've got

heavy and learning happening. You're a

musician, right? Yep. Heavy and

learning. Every single time you sit down

at the piano. Mhm. You're activating the

same neural network every single time.

So your ears change, the way you listen

to things change, the your hands know

the the way this is all great. It's like

cool, Taylor. What does this even mean? Okay,

Okay,

it's the third week of the month and

your business is on pace to lose money.

What do you do?

Well, neurons that fire together wire

together. So, you're going to do the

same thing you did the last time you

were the third week of the month,

dude. This is going to be crazy. So, now

you're looping and you're neurotic. Yep.

You you wake up in the morning and your

wife's not in bed. You don't know. Like

I woke up this morning, Lizzie wasn't in

bed because God got her out of bed

earlier. But what would happen if we

were in a fight the night before and the

last time we were in a You see how this

changes and you start going worst case

scenario, boom, there's a trigger. So

now you're triggered because an

association is just regressing you back

to the last time you were in that

association. Um, ev every single thing a

person deals with from a like a

traumatic standpoint is emotional

pairing, but they're real emotions stuck

in the body trying to keep you alive.

So, I'll give you another example. Um,

have I told the story about the cold

plunge ever when it broke? Yes. On the

show? Yep. That you go back where

whatever episode that was in, you can

listen to it. Take you a long time. I

have no idea where it is. Just go watch

every episode we have. But it's very

benign, dude. Like nothing was wrong.

Like it was just a the quote plunge

broke. But I remember the last time it

broke and I was taken against with not

consciously, subconsciously, I was

thrust into a spiral because last time

this happened, several other things

happened around the same time. So my

emotions just paired together and I

started feeling crazy because last time.

It can be really simple like this. It

can be really extreme all the way up to

like your wife didn't text you back,

your husband didn't text you back

because they were busy, but you were

married to somebody before who didn't

text you back and they were cheating.

Well, now what happens? Well, now we

have we have a trigger. And when you're

triggered, it doesn't mean that

something's wrong.

When you're triggered, it means that

something in your body is still active

that wants to be dealt with. So, we

don't judge the triggers. Yeah. How many

times do we use like, oh man, you're

just triggered as like a negative

judgment. Yeah. You know, somebody being

triggered is not a defense of your

behavior and it's not an indication that

there's something wrong with them. A

trigger is simply something that says,

"Hey, I'm still active.

I haven't been dealt with. And so, I'm

going to keep triggering until you let

me go or you deal with it. You bring me

to the surface and you finally do away

with it." And so, we have people that

are just running on triggers. They have

no control over how they respond.

They're just responding based on when

they were seven or 12 or 15. They lost

their dad and this is what happened.

Then they're 20 years later, they're

working for you. They have a bad week.

You say something very innocently,

but they remember the last time somebody

said something and it was when their dad

died and now all of a sudden they're

spiraling and you think they're crazy

and they're not. You're just like them.

You have just as many triggers. Maybe

they're harder to find, but the harder

they are to f to find, the the more

screwed you are.

Because time doesn't heal. It's a lie.

Time buries.

And so, if you have to get a freaking

excavator and dig through your junk just

to find your trigger, you're going to

have to work a little bit harder than

somebody who's just like aware of everything.

everything.

This is the story of my wife, Lindsay,

when she started getting healthy six,

seven months ago. And the doctor called

me and she said, "Hey, in a couple of

weeks your your wife's body stopped

producing serotonin. She started

actually using her hormones to create

energy." And so her body shut them down.

When the body started suppressing

serotonin, all the emotions in her body

were buried in her body. This is a

doctor from Arizona. And so she doesn't

actually remember them, but she's going

to remember them because as soon as her

body has the safety protocols to be able

to bring them up to the surface and deal

with them, she's going to start

processing emotions from 6 years ago.

And you're going to have to be very

patient. I'm like, easy. I'm a patient

guy in the world, dude. Like the best.

No big deal. But I was thinking, I've

studied this, so I know this this works

and I know how this so it's going to be

easy for me. 3 weeks later, we're

sending you down to dinner and we're

talking about a trip and she's like,

"You're never here for the family and

you never care." I'm like, "What in the

world? What did you just say? Come again

at me. That was rude." And she doubles

down on it. And I realized in that

moment, okay, this is how she felt 6

years ago. So for 6 months, I've like

had to play this. Is this real or is is

this now or is this then? And so just a

two weeks ago, she was upset about

something. She's like, I don't know if

this is from now or then. I'm like,

"Nope, that's from now. I definitely did

that. I'm sorry." Just to be honest with

it. But there are triggers that are

buried in our past and we have no idea

that they're there because we don't

remember when we're even triggered. If

How old are you? 24. 24. What if you

have a trigger from when you were 15

years old and every time you're

triggered, you become 15. And then your

24-year-old self comes back online. You

don't even remember the trigger.

Yep. So, how can you find them? You got

to have people around you. You have to

have the Holy Spirit. You have to know

what's going on in the minds to be able

to go dig these things out and bring

them up to the surface.

Geez. So, that's my answer to your

question about associations.

You have no idea how awesome that was.

That was amazing. I can't wait for the

rest of this. Yeah, community is a huge

part of this. We even just me and my

wife just realized that uh last week

just like I went to a young married

couples group. Dude, I'm missing out big

time. Like I realize there's so much

that I'm only going to get to heal

through community that I probably won't

get to go do personally. And we probably

don't talk about enough on this show to

go get in community, but that's like one

of the biggest pieces of all this is

just have a bigger feedback loops.

How um Okay, I have one one more thing

before you keep going. All right. What

do you think of the phrase just grow up?

Healthy or unhealthy or or is it

nuanced? I think it's neutral. I mean it depends

depends

in what regard like in association to uh

being triggered like all right you're

triggered grow up unhealthy. Okay. Why?

Because it's not an issue of growing up.

It's actually an issue of like going

back and letting that stuff exit your

body without letting it be an excuse for

doing something bad. Yeah. Grow up in

regards to trauma and triggers is code

word for bury it. Just hide it. M that's

what growing up

like kind of constitutes is like if

you're acting like a crazy person which

you never do. You're like really really

levelheaded and unable there's no I

don't feel like there's been a couple

times and I'm just like dude grow up.

You know what your body's going to do

from self-p protection? It's just going

to hide any of that shut down so you

don't you can't see it. Yep. Yeah. Do

you feel like there's a more healthy

approach that you would suggest or

what's really going on? What are you

really What are you responding to right

now? So, curiosity from whoever is

dealing with you. Yeah, you're safe.

What What What are you upset about?

What's actually going on here? Because I

said I'm going to get groceries and

you're acting like I just It's World War

II. And so, if I did something wrong, I

want to know about it, but what's really

going on? And most of the times when

somebody is treated this way with

respect and and they're not judged and

shut down for it, they'll feel like I

can talk about it. And when they process

it, they don't actually know what

they're upset about. They were just

triggered. And then when you're re when

you have the personal realization that I

was triggered, then you can deal with

it. No one else can tell you that you're triggered.

triggered.

That's so true. Yeah. Curiosity diffuses

so much so quick. So, we're back back to

full circle. We'll hop into this in the

notes. Um, a couple of months ago, I'm

going to read this post. Um, I was

having having a conversation with God,

but it was a little bit weird. It was

one of those conversations that you

don't fully understand. You I wrote it

down and I ended up sharing this, but it

was the storm is coming post. It was

right before it was about to rain, which

is God's favorite time right now to talk

to me still. We've come back to the

storm era. It was burned death and it

was the we're back in the storm. Like,

dude, it's like the other day on on

Sunday, it was No, not Sunday. It was

Wednesday or Thursday. I don't last week

it was about to rain. It looked like it

looks right now outside. And I was like,

"Here we go. I can feel it." I was like,

"What? No rain? Maybe something's off."

And like an hour and a half later, I'm

in the truck driving to do something and

it's the loudest rain. I was talking

with my friend Josh Stub and I was on

the way my way back from from the gym

and I was like, "Can you hear this

rain?" He was like, "Oh, yeah. It's

crazy." And I was like, "Freaking nailed

it every time. God, what do you want to

say?" We started talking about different

things. But this is a couple months ago.

Here's the post. A storm is coming. And

I immediately thought, "Well, that's not

good." My conversations with God happen

all over the place. Sometimes I'm ready

for them. Many times I'm not. For a

couple months of last year, every time I

would go on a walk, God would talk to me

about everything. I got to the point

where as soon as I walked outside, it

didn't even have to ask questions. I

would hear him respond as soon as I'd

think of something. Have you ever had a

best friend who they finish your

sentences? Oh yeah, God will do this all

the time, doesn't he? Let's finish your

sentences. And you're like, "Okay, we're

tapped in cuz he knows what I'm going to

think before I think about it." Then it

changed and every time I sat in a

certain chair in my office right here,

it was game on. Started calling this my

repentance chair because everything he

told me in this chair

was pretty bad. May repent for

everything. Um, then it moved to my

truck. My daughter has affectionately

named the truck Bernardet for reasons

that none of us understand. Uh she

doesn't even remember why she named it

that. It's just the first thing she

thought of when she saw the truck. Uh

you know, you should actually ask your

kids. My wife looked up the name of

Bernardet and it was fascinating. And I

have it written down, but you should ask

your kids what they think about things a

lot. You should ask your kids what they

think about things. I had a client one

time who was uh am I a little am I too

all over the place? Okay, you're good. I

had a client, his name is Josh, and this

was about a year ago, and he was really

kind of burning out and didn't know what

to do. And Holy Spirit, so I'd asked him

to ask his son.

I was like, "Okay." I was like, "Have

you ever asked your son what to do?" And

he was like, "No."

My son is like seven. I was like, "Well,

I think you need to ask your son." And

he did. and his son told him prophetically

prophetically

like a bunch of stuff that he that Josh

needed to deal with. And it's like what

what's that verse? Young young children

will prophesy and old men will dream

dreams and all this stuff. It's like God

can speak through anybody, but if you

have kids, your kids are going to

inherit certain gifts that you have. And

so we ask Kate a lot. We're like, "What

do you think about this? What do you

think about that? What's what do you

what does this name mean to you?" So

anyway, she named it Bernardet. that has

nothing to do with anything. Um, and

when I got into the truck, the the Lord

would begin to like rapid firing things

at me and I was like overwhelmed. I

couldn't remember everything cuz every

sentence out of the mouth of God is like

a biography that you can decode that

thing so many different ways and it's

perfect. This is why we study the words

of Jesus because when Jesus was saying,

"You will destroy this temple in 3 days

and I'll raise it back up." He wasn't

just talking about the temple or his

like he was talking about a bunch of

different stuff at the same time. This

is the manifold wisdom of the scripture.

And I think what God was training me how

to do was how to remember what he said

because if you can't remember it, it

doesn't do you any good. So anyways,

long story short, um

I'm in this post I'm proving that it's

the voice of God because I don't want

people to think that I'm psycho. Yeah.

So I was like, here's how you know it's

the voice of God. Then back to it. A

storm is coming. It's nonchalant. A

storm is coming. So I'm like, well, that

doesn't sound good. And Holy Spirit

said, "I'm into this one so you don't

have to be afraid of it." And there was

a tone to his voice that was corrective.

It was not just like, um,

"I'm in it, so you don't have to be

afraid of it." It was more like,

"Well, I'm in this one, so you don't

need to be afraid of it. Obviously, it's

like a obvious.

You should know better." Do you know the

tone I'm talking about? Mhm.

corrective but but also kind um and this

happens all the time like everything God

says to you will have it will be

predictive corrective it will re

reorient you it will be p pivot you

somewhere and so I started diagnosing

that in this season I was like you know

I think I've learned to fear the storm

not just rain cuz I don't I'm not afraid

of rain we have a house but the storm in

life when it's chaotic and things are

going 90 mph and you feel like you can't

keep up and there's this resistance and

this resistance and this is going well

but this is not going well. There's a

storm a deluge and I've learned through

associations that storms are bad when

your life when you're like hey bro how

you doing man I'm going through a storm

brother Mhm. What's that mean? Not good.

Wavy typically it's not that good. Yep.

Well what do you mean just having to

have a lot of faith? Well you should

have faith all the time not just through

the storms. You don't just need faith to

like be in the boat. You need faith to

walk on the water. You need faith on

land. But we get conditioned through

associations that this is good and this

is bad. And so God was was basically

trying to change my association with the

season that was chaotic.

Make sense?

And so I said, "Okay, understood. What

do I need to know and what are you not

telling me?" That's another great

sometimes question to ask

the God of the universe. What do I need

to know? What are you not telling me?

Because I sense that there's a lot

you're not telling me about this. A

storm is coming and then you who says

that? Okay. So, I'm like, what does that

mean? I'm about to lose everything.

Like, what is this going to be? And God

laughed. Holy Spirit laughed and he

said, no, this one is going to be great.

Just do not be afraid of it. Train your

eyes to see what is not there as easily

as you can see what is there. and you'll

find me and everything.

So, I've spent a lot of time breaking

this down

and I feel like right now why we're

recording this is the longest intro of

every any episode we've ever done. Oh,

we're still in the intro. Yes. Yikes.

All right. Yeah. Is

the storm that's coming is the thing

that will promote the body of Christ

above all the nations of the earth. But

we have to go through it. And any

triggers we have while going through it

are going to be weaponized against us.

And so we have to make sure we give our

triggers to Holy Spirit. And we have to

know how to do this. And then we have to

understand what Psalm 91 is really

talking about because if you understand

Psalm 91, you understand everything else.

else.

With that intro being said, what's your

goal for the rest of the material you're

going through? Is it like just be

self-aware? Is it get healed now? do it

more often. Like what's the what's the

primary goal that you have with the rest

of it? I want people to have no triggers

by the time they actually consume and

and implement the material. Mhm. I don't

I don't want them to have any of it left

over. Nice. You got to we got to replace

the residue. If we're going to replace

the residue of an old traumatic event,

let's replace that with the residue of

the Holy Spirit. Let's replace that with

the confidence that comes from

proximity. It's about location. What's

your address? Where do you live? People

like, "Oh, I live in this place." No,

you live in the name of God. You live in

the shadow of El Shadai. You live in the

the the name and mind of God. And if

that's where your address is, you have a

sphere around you that nothing can

touch. M but to get into that we have to almost

almost

provide as an offering like here are the

parts of me that have kept me safe for

so long and I'm no longer choosing to

rely on my self-p protection triggers.

I'm going to rely completely and

exclusively on Yhovah Gyra, the one who

takes care of everything that I need. I

don't have to defend myself. I don't

have to protect myself. I don't even

have to think about the future cuz

you're in the future. You'll just tell

me what to do. It's a reorienting of our

entire philosophy around where are we going?

going?

Can I ask you about one of the triggers

that you've had specifically one that I

just had a memory that came to mind?

I've had a lot of triggers. I know.

There's one big one that I'm that just

came to mind that I want to see what's

up. Uh do you remember when uh we did a

quarterly? We did a lot of quarterlys at

the at a hotel in downtown Franklin for TWWC.

TWWC.

There was one in particular that I

remember being in the room for and you

literally told people in the room, hey,

don't say the the two letters together,

EW. Mhm. Because you anytime you heard

EW, for context for the audience, that

was your old companies uh that were

investigated and all that fun stuff. And

um and anytime anyone said that, you

just like noticed like your heart rate

spiked. You didn't want to talk about

it. And it was just like it's tough. and

everybody in the room had worked in

those companies, so it was triggering

for them. So, not only did you have your

own, but you had other people's triggers

in that place, too. Like, I don't know

if you want to simply just weave this

story into what you're about to teach or

if you want to give me like a little

synopsis on what it looks like now when

you hear that and how you think about it

now, like the end result so we can see

how this material gets that is used as a

bridge to get there. Yeah. Two things

about that. So that was a company that I

had that I had leaders that I trusted and

and

the when you're when you're trusting

somebody, you know, you're going into

like a military environment, you're

going into war, you got to trust the

soldier next to you. Mhm. Cuz if if they

don't do their job, you're going to die

and there's nothing you can do about it.

And so it's not it's it's not like that

because we're not in the military. Um,

it's obviously very very lower level,

but I had people that were supposed to

do certain things and

they said that they did and then like

over time you realize that you have a

like I didn't I hired 700 people so I

don't I didn't know how to do like

management theory at scale. I had to

learn all of these things in the middle

of it. And so what EW represented to me

at the time was people who were supposed

to have my back that didn't. And so

anytime that would be brought up, I

would immediately get into this like

who's not doing their job, right? And I

don't want to be in that position

anymore. Um the other thing though is

when you do have a a trigger, and we

talked about this on the last one too,

like I have triggers where,

you know, we'll go a week and it'll not

be a great week.

And then I'm triggered on a Saturday

morning. If I think about it, I just

start going into a a bit of a a spiral.

And it's not like that you are

impervious to bad things happening to

you. You still feel them. It's more so

that what it means is not what it used

to mean.

So if you have a bad week, what does it

mean? Well, if you have a trigger around

that, and I'm using that very loosely,

like everybody's had a bad week, you

make it more specific in regards to like

you um well, we talked about Kate when

Kate was upstairs years after we had our

issue. And she doesn't want to play, so

she's five. Why doesn't she want to

play? What does that mean? Well, it just

means she doesn't want to play right

now, so she's good. Versus there's a

trigger. It means you're losing your

daughter. It means everything you've

worked for is going away. So what does a

bad week mean? Your triggers determine

the meaning of something.

They come in with their own embedded

meaning around that thing. M. So you're

late to a meeting. It just means you're

late, bro. Like wake up earlier next

time. It's it's all good. Well, if you

have a trigger there, last time you were

late to a meeting, you got fired. So now

you're late to a meeting. You think it

means you're going to be fired. And so

your entire like uh meridian pathways

start contorting around to try to

protect you from something that doesn't

even exist. It's not what the meaning of

that means. So we have like dude we have

like 12-hour events where we go into

this subject like belief architecture,

sacred timelines, technology of

achievement. There's no way we can go

into all of it for this. So I want to

keep us really tied into triggers. Part

of the part of the way that you you

should deal with triggers is you need a

bit of reprieve from that trigger for a

bit so you can redefine it. So that's

why I said that. Stop saying this word

around me. Stop it. I you you can't come

back from overseas in combat and just

fireworks are going on all the time

around you. You need a second like I

need a broken leg or something. Yeah.

Like I need some I need a bit of

reprieve so I can redefine this. And so

this is why people like if you have a

crew that's just triggering you all the

time, that's the wrong crew, get rid of

that crew. You need a reprieve. Like you

need a second so you can let your body

just kind of calm down into it. Does

that answer your question? Yeah, that

makes that makes a ton of sense. I have

the same things around money. I have the

same things around like

you name it. There's going to be a

trigger there. Yeah. And so how we have

to know what the Bible says. What we eat

is literally what we become. You know,

you can heal your body through food. And

the same thing like what does the Bible

say? Jesus said man does not live on

bread alone but on every word that

proceeds from the mouth of God. So we

are eating spiritually. What are you

eating? If you're not eating the right

food, you just become you become anemic

and then you can't your immune system

dies with with your body become anemic.

So it's not enough. And I'm going

through like this these training

protocols of these people who are

world-class therapists, psychosmatic

experts, bioenergetics, and a lot of

them are really good, but all I'm seeing

like the there's a big gap where it's

like they're training people on how to

remove stuff, but they're not replacing

it with good food.

So, it's like you're 300 lb, you want to

lose weight, so you just stop eating.

You don't replace it. That ain't going

to work, bro. It's not going to work.

It's a spiritual food. You need

spiritual food. You've got to eat the

right things. If we don't eat the right

things, you can remove all the triggers

in your life and still die. Yep. It's

not going to fix anything. So, this is

part of why I think this topic is

important to me is cuz I've personally

battled with it and I've trained enough

to be able to help other people through

it. And I'm like, look, there's 99% and

there's 100%. And that 1% is a is is

weighted. Like that that 1% is where are

you getting this fixed from? Is it just science?

science?

99%. That's all you got. You're

deficient. 99% good nutrition. What are

you lacking? Water. Okay. Well, you're

going to die. That's a 1% really big

deal. You You can't play around with the

nutrient density of something. You've

got to be able to get to 100%.

Gotcha. What other questions do you

have? Don't have questions. I've just

got I'm sure just like everybody else

right now they're probably we're

probably all thinking of the triggers

that we're dealing with now that we've

understood like kind of how you handled

it. Now I'm now I'm pumped. Let's go.

Here's the best way to find your

triggers. Ready? God, we love you. Thank

you for everything you've done for us.

Thank you for sending Jesus. Thank you

that you didn't water down the truth

when he was here on earth and you're not

watering down the truth now. We choose

the 100% revelation from the Holy

Spirit. And we ask, Holy Spirit, that

you would show us and reveal to us our triggers.

triggers.

Amen. That's how you find your triggers.

You don't have to go like dig a hole in

your backyard, jump into it, do a bunch

of psychosmatic breathing. And these

like taps, tap tap your neck. Tap now

tap your knee. It's like y'all's dumb.

Stop it. Ask Holy If you have Holy

Spirit, use what you got. Use Holy

Spirit. Now, there's a place for like,

okay, we need to do some taps because

this person is going crazy. But for the

majority of people who are Bible

believing Christians and you don't

believe the Bible, you just say that. It

sounds good. Yeah. Well, how do I know?

Well, have you asked Holy Spirit? No, I

didn't know I can do that. It's in the

Bible. You don't believe it. You can't

say he's counselor if you never talked

to him. How do you say you believe the

Bible if you've never asked him

questions? I'm not mad at people. I'm

just like, you're don't you don't

believe it. If you did, you would ask

the Holy Spirit and he would tell you.

This is my passion. This is like my soap

box, dude. Uh-huh. Like, it's a good

one. People are like, "How do you know this?"

this?"

"How do you not know this?"

And it's not a judgment thing. I'm just

like, man, if we could just ask Holy

Spirit, he would tell us. How do you

know the difference between something

that's a trigger versus having

discernment on something? Um,

explain what discernment feels like.

Discernment feels like you're noticing

whether something is in my experience

good or bad or um or it's something that

you notice is out of the ordinary that's

different for you personally. How do you

explain what a trigger feels like?

Trigger feels like I'm out of control. I

can't stop it. I can't get in the way of it.

it.

Um, and I get far more emotional.

Far more emotional. I notic that when I

have discernment, it's really easy for

me to think. It's very easy. If I'm

triggered, I can't control it. I'm just

like spiraling. I start saying a bunch

of dumb stuff. I sound smart. I sound

passionate. But it's because I've lost

control of my emotions. Okay. Did I Did

I answer your question? Yeah, it did

actually. Good job, babe. That was

Heather's question, by the way.

Hopefully, I cut that in a way where we

could tell that. All right, attachment

theories. Let's go into attachment

theories. Then, let's go through. Here's

what we're going to do. We're going to

go attachment theories. This is the

actual If we want to do a trailer at the

beginning, we can pop people straight

into here, this part. Attachment

theories. Um, and then I'm going to skip

two parts because we don't have time to

do them. Maybe we'll do a part three or

something later.

um hypervigilance

and then

Psalm 91. If you want to deal with your

belief systems, you can go into Psalm

91, right? Like the real Psalm 91, not

like, oh, King James version, like like

here's what it actually says and here's

what it actually means. Here's what was

going on in David's life when he wrote

it and it's crazy. Would this be a good

spot to take a break and then come back?

Yeah, sure. So, we're back from break.

Uh, man, that was that was awesome.

Thanks for letting me take a second. Uh,

also, you just changed clothes on us

just out of nowhere. Didn't say

anything. I made some coffee and then I

literally spilled it all over the floor

and it got on my hoodie. Oh, that's what

happened. Take the hoodie off. Yeah, you

know. Wow. So, I got triggered and threw

Dude,

what a fun show this is, man. This isn't

the case today, but you will never be as

triggered as when you are about to

uncover a trigger. So once your body

once your this didn't happen to me, by

the way, but it does bring up an

interesting point. When your body knows

that the things that it feels like has

kept it safe for a very long time or

about to be threatened, it will try to

get you out of that situation. Wow. So

it's it's interesting doing events like

this cuz people will just like leave

like me. You passed out.

Yeah, your body. I was like, you were

just talking about me. Just say this

body. No, you're not the only one. Like

there's other people as well. Like what?

You're carrying like all of your

conversations into a room with you.

Yeah. And some of those conversations

start with your parents and they're

limiting conversations and your body

feels like you're it's keeping these

things alive. They're self-limiting

beliefs and then when those are

threatened, your body's like, I will

hide hijack out of that thing. So, it's

always fascinating to see like people

will do the craziest stuff. Like they

will spill. They'll self-sabotage.

They'll pass out. They'll spill their

coffee all over the floor. It's amazing.

It's the best. Do I need to give context

now? Nope. Okay, great.

What is there to give context on? You

passed out. You didn't You couldn't

stay. But it's okay.

It's good. Are you going to take us back

in or we are we just out here? It's

okay. Whatever. Just go ahead. Go ahead.

That was your taking us back in. Go

ahead. Yeah, I already took it. We're

back in anyways. How do we train this guy?

guy?

What do you want, man? This is not the

most perfect show in history. All right,

attachment theories. Listed attachment

theories real fast. People know we love

each other. By the way, hopefully they

do. If you're brand new, we love each

other. If you say he's so mean to Jake,

I'll just say you're welcome. And if you

comment on the alcohol cart behind him,

I will also say welcome to the show. I

That's just They're new,

right? Thank you for that. All right.

So, this came out of research. I'm not

going to back this up. Go Google.

Google.com. Great technology. Um, you

can look up research articles and stuff

on it as well. This came many years ago.

And it's uh the attachment theories.

Have you heard of attachment theories

before? Yes. Okay. So, I've heard of

attachment styles. Actually, attachment

theory seems a little different. The

attachment style is it it's all a

theory. It's it's a Got it. Okay. The

styles are theory. They're not they're

not like it's not like physics. You

can't measure it. measure. You can

measure it. You can't prove it 100% of

the time. Got it. But anyways, there's

four of them. Secure attachment, anxious

attachment, avoidant attachment, and

fearful avoidant attachment. So, there

are four main types of attachment. Do

you know which one you are? Mm- Okay.

Secure attachment. We're going to figure

out which one you are. And your wife is

in the room, so we'll fact check it.

Sweet. Secure attachment is when you are

emotionally available, resourceful, you

can hold boundaries,

and you're not worried about hurting

people, but you're not trying to hurt

people. you're not fearful of offense of

people taking offense with you. Now,

people might be like, why are you

talking about attachment theories on a

show about trauma? And the reason is

because you can find your trauma in your

attachment theory. So, attachment

theories doesn't I don't think it just

it only applies to people. I think you

can have an attachment theory with

progress, fame, success, money,

notoriety. And I'm going to explain why

in just a second. The second is anxious

attachment. These people are hyper

sensitive to rejection. They might have

been rejected when they were young. If

um if you know somebody's got hyper uh

anxious attachment, if like they they

text you, you don't text them back in 30

minutes and they think you're not

friends anymore. Um they're hyper

sensitive. Like if you don't respond

right away, they're anxious and they're

throwing flags and you have you've got

friends like this, no doubt. Yep. And

I've been that way before. Okay. Um

avoidant attachment. This would be my

attachment style. Avoidant attachment.

These people when pressureures on they

become emotionally distant. They shut

down. Uh avoidance is like a protection

mechanism. So they just go dark. Yep.

was really hard for me and Lindsay at

the beginning of our marriage because if

she wasn't happy with something and I

could tell and it was uh something that

I disagreed with or didn't know how to

deal with, I would just disappear. Not

physically, but I would just like walls

up, not going to engage. I'm avoidant.

Avoidant attachment. Um, you can also

tell somebody's avoidant attachment

because if every freaking season of

their life they're like on the cusp

about to go to the next level and then

they sabotage out of it. They shut it

down. They shut the project down before

it even gets off the grounds. How's your

book going? It's great. I'm going to

launch it this Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving. How's it going? I changed

it. Oh, I'm going to write a new one

next Thanksgiving. Next Thanksgiving.

How's it going? I changed it again.

Right before you get to the end, it gets

too real. They shut it down. Mhm. This

is avoidant attachment. fearful avoidant

attachment. These people are just like

wild cards. These they're they're both

anxious and they're avoidance. This this

person fears intimacy. They also fear

rejection. They feel both both of them

at the same time. And they're kind of

like pushpull. Like usually you want to

know who your like narcissist people

are. Usually they're fearful avoidant

attachment cuz they need you. They're

also afraid of you. They don't want to

be rejected by you, so you can't go too

far away from them, but they don't want

to be too close to you, so you can't get

too close. So, they're manipulating you

right in the sweet spot of the middle.

And sometimes just through chaos, they

can keep people destabilized. Okay.

Which one do you think you are out of

these? I resonate, I would say, on a

ratio scale of uh 1 to five, I would say

I'm a 32. Uh threeart secure, two part

anxious. That's how I That's how I

resonated with the most. Okay, cool.

Well, it means you're healthier than I

am, so I'm proud of you. Thank you.

Congrats. There's almost a 0% chance

that that's true. Okay. But I love the

confidence. What would you think is

probably more your wife laughing at us

in the background? I I'd be curious and

what your what your honest What do you

I think you are. But

so you said I'm secure a lot of the

time, but when you and I are not secure,

we're more avoidant. Got it. Avoidant

attachment. So we're probably all the

same. Cool. So we all have avoidant attachment.

attachment.

The This shows up based on how you were

treated as a child. Mhm. So,

you're definitely avoiding attachment.

Do you want to know how I know? How do

you know? Because one of the great

prizes of your life is vulnerability.

Mhm. And so, when somebody's not vulnerable,

vulnerable,

you flag that big time as something

that's that's off. Oh, yeah. So,

self-worth is attached to anxious

attachment. Vulnerability is attached to

avoidant attachment. and past

um chaos like if you're in a coming if

you've come come through a season where

you've just like you have no idea what's

going on. Chaos, pressure, all of the

above is attached to fearful avoidant

attachment. So to the extent that

someone can become vulnerable and not be

rejected, they will offset that avoidant

ret uh attachment to the extent that

somebody can work on their self-worth

and self-esteem. They'll offset some of

that anxious attachment energy. And to

the extent that somebody can go back and reprocess

reprocess

past chaos,

they will become less fearful avoidant

attachment. Now all of this is like you

might be a um you know a certified

attachment style coach person whatever

and um there might be nuances in this

that we disagree with just like there

are nuances in the Bible that I would

disagree with pastors and we all kind of

So this this is not science. This is more

um they they did run experiments on it,

but there's no like

strong 100% or 0%. We're on a spectrum

of all of these things. Yeah. When it

comes to our triggers, one of the

questions that we should ask is where in

my past was I exposed

and treated badly because of that?

Where was my vulnerability met with rejection?

rejection? Uh

Uh so we're we want to hunt and seek these

so we're we want to hunt and seek these triggers so that we can give them to the

triggers so that we can give them to the Lord.

Lord. So you might sit down and you might as a

So you might sit down and you might as a result of this episode you might sit

result of this episode you might sit down. You might say, "Lord, take me back

down. You might say, "Lord, take me back to the first time I experienced

to the first time I experienced rejection because I was exposed or

rejection because I was exposed or vulnerable." And you'll go back to this

vulnerable." And you'll go back to this place. And you'll have the ability to

place. And you'll have the ability to say, "Okay, I'm going to give this to

say, "Okay, I'm going to give this to you. What does this actually mean?"

you. What does this actually mean?" Triggers don't just like drop out of the

Triggers don't just like drop out of the body. They have to have their meaning

body. They have to have their meaning redefined and they have to be let go.

redefined and they have to be let go. You have to let them go. Mhm. And so

You have to let them go. Mhm. And so what does this actually mean? This is

what does this actually mean? This is why that event sacred timelines exist

why that event sacred timelines exist because we do this in in group for the

because we do this in in group for the anxious attachment. You might go back

anxious attachment. You might go back and when was the first time you felt

and when was the first time you felt inadequate cuz what is what is

inadequate cuz what is what is self-esteem? Means that you were equal

self-esteem? Means that you were equal to the tasks that life is going to bring

to the tasks that life is going to bring to you. That's a healthy self-esteem.

to you. That's a healthy self-esteem. Where did I first feel like what life

Where did I first feel like what life was bringing me I was not capable of

was bringing me I was not capable of handling

handling and so in an attempt to reconcile that I

and so in an attempt to reconcile that I became anxious and had to like

became anxious and had to like hypervigilant look for everything. Um,

hypervigilant look for everything. Um, if you have fearful avoidant tendencies,

if you have fearful avoidant tendencies, when was the first time my life felt

when was the first time my life felt erratic and chaotic and there was a lot

erratic and chaotic and there was a lot weighing down on me, but I didn't know

weighing down on me, but I didn't know what to do and so I just shut down.

what to do and so I just shut down. And you can get some some clarity around

And you can get some some clarity around where are these triggers. Does this make

where are these triggers. Does this make sense? Mhm. Does this helpful so far?

sense? Mhm. Does this helpful so far? Yep. It's already getting stuff in my

Yep. It's already getting stuff in my head where I'm like, "Oh, yeah, that

head where I'm like, "Oh, yeah, that checks out exactly." Whenever whenever

checks out exactly." Whenever whenever we fall into one of these categories

we fall into one of these categories that's not secure attachment the

that's not secure attachment the importance this is the this is the

importance this is the this is the inverse of that thing. So say it's an

inverse of that thing. So say it's an avoidant attachment person. They were

avoidant attachment person. They were rejected. They can never be rejected

rejected. They can never be rejected again and they're fearful of rejection.

again and they're fearful of rejection. The importance of avoiding rejection

The importance of avoiding rejection becomes paramount. Mhm. And so their

becomes paramount. Mhm. And so their reticular activating system which

reticular activating system which prioritizes three things. What you

prioritizes three things. What you value, what is new or novel, and what is

value, what is new or novel, and what is threatening to you. Your reticular

threatening to you. Your reticular activating system is the is the

activating system is the is the filtration mechanism for everything that

filtration mechanism for everything that gets put into your conscious memory.

gets put into your conscious memory. This is why when you go into a room,

This is why when you go into a room, you're remembering everything about that

you're remembering everything about that room at the same time. You're consuming

room at the same time. You're consuming all of the data at the same time.

all of the data at the same time. There's like two

There's like two um I don't want to get this wrong. I was

um I don't want to get this wrong. I was just studying this. There's an

just studying this. There's an exorbitant amount of of bits. I think

exorbitant amount of of bits. I think it's 2 million bits a second um that's

it's 2 million bits a second um that's being processed by the mind and we can

being processed by the mind and we can only handle like 150,000 or something.

only handle like 150,000 or something. So, it's got to throttle everything down

So, it's got to throttle everything down to so much. Most of our life is being

to so much. Most of our life is being filtered out. Wow. Okay. So, we're just

filtered out. Wow. Okay. So, we're just not we're not we're catching it but

not we're not we're catching it but we're not remembering it. When something

we're not remembering it. When something 11 million bits per second. Okay. And

11 million bits per second. Okay. And what can we consciously process?

what can we consciously process? 50 to 120. Even crazier than what I

50 to 120. Even crazier than what I said. That's ridiculous.

said. That's ridiculous. Yeah. Okay. So, it's taking most of

Yeah. Okay. So, it's taking most of what's happening and it's filtering it

what's happening and it's filtering it out. Do you want the breakdown on what?

out. Do you want the breakdown on what? Yeah, you can give us a breakdown real

Yeah, you can give us a breakdown real fast. Uh, so you're getting 10 million

fast. Uh, so you're getting 10 million bits per second on vision. uh you're

bits per second on vision. uh you're getting about a million bits per second

getting about a million bits per second on touch, 100,000 bits per second on

on touch, 100,000 bits per second on hearing, 100 on 100,000 on smell, and

hearing, 100 on 100,000 on smell, and 1,000 on taste. And we can only process

1,000 on taste. And we can only process 200 bits, 50 to 120 bits max per second.

200 bits, 50 to 120 bits max per second. Okay, so that's the reticular activating

Okay, so that's the reticular activating system partially at work trying to

system partially at work trying to filter this stuff down. That's insane.

filter this stuff down. That's insane. It's still hitting you like you're still

It's still hitting you like you're still grabbing it, but you can't think about

grabbing it, but you can't think about it. You would you would you would burn

it. You would you would you would burn every every mitochondrial process in

every every mitochondrial process in your body would burn out in a second.

your body would burn out in a second. Like you wouldn't be able to function.

Like you wouldn't be able to function. So it's filtering all of it down. Yeah.

So it's filtering all of it down. Yeah. It's crazy. But part of how the

It's crazy. But part of how the reticular activating system decides what

reticular activating system decides what fits into that 50 to 100 bits is based

fits into that 50 to 100 bits is based on these three things. What do you

on these three things. What do you value?

What's new or novel? Or it's like never happened before cuz we're pattern

happened before cuz we're pattern recognition people. So, are like, "Wow,

recognition people. So, are like, "Wow, I've never seen a llama before." That's

I've never seen a llama before." That's a really interesting thing. Well, you're

a really interesting thing. Well, you're going to see the llama. You've never

going to see the llama. You've never seen one before. You know, whether it's

seen one before. You know, whether it's dangerous or not, because we're we're

dangerous or not, because we're we're trying to isolate patterns. The llama

trying to isolate patterns. The llama could be dangerous. We need to see it.

could be dangerous. We need to see it. And then the third is what is a threat?

And then the third is what is a threat? What do we know to be a threat? And

What do we know to be a threat? And threats are weighted higher than the

threats are weighted higher than the first two. Um, especially if your ars

first two. Um, especially if your ars gets triggered or hijacked. This is

gets triggered or hijacked. This is called the amigdala hijack, which is

called the amigdala hijack, which is like your amydala basically is what's

like your amydala basically is what's responsible for fear and noticing

responsible for fear and noticing threats. Your amigdala takes over the

threats. Your amigdala takes over the whole brain like a freaking predator.

whole brain like a freaking predator. It's like you can no longer see

It's like you can no longer see opportunity. You can no longer see good

opportunity. You can no longer see good things. All you can see is what could

things. All you can see is what could hurt you. This is what's happening when

hurt you. This is what's happening when you're triggered. So your prefrontal

you're triggered. So your prefrontal cortex is just slaved down to whatever

cortex is just slaved down to whatever is threatening. So what happens with

is threatening. So what happens with these the reason that attachment styles

these the reason that attachment styles are even a thing is because what we have

are even a thing is because what we have battled with in our past

battled with in our past is a threat to our future and therefore

is a threat to our future and therefore it becomes so important that our res has

it becomes so important that our res has to find them and scope them out.

to find them and scope them out. Okay. Wow. You with me? Mhm. All right.

Okay. Wow. You with me? Mhm. All right. This is where it gets good because this

This is where it gets good because this is how like God

is how like God programmed this

programmed this and we can reprogram it back to the

and we can reprogram it back to the source code of how it was originally

source code of how it was originally programmed. We don't have to stay stuck

programmed. We don't have to stay stuck in any of this. When God programmed the

in any of this. When God programmed the way that our cognition operates, he

way that our cognition operates, he programmed it with iteration capacity.

programmed it with iteration capacity. So what is

So what is what does it mean to iterate?

what does it mean to iterate? come up with with almost like a new

come up with with almost like a new version of something that you can

version of something that you can change. We call that neuroplasticity.

change. We call that neuroplasticity. So the brain can iterate. It's changing

So the brain can iterate. It's changing all the time. They came up with

all the time. They came up with neuroplasticity because they were

neuroplasticity because they were um measuring like plastic. There was

um measuring like plastic. There was like these, you know, bottles that could

like these, you know, bottles that could change based on temperature and all this

change based on temperature and all this different stuff. So neuroplasticity is

different stuff. So neuroplasticity is they need to probably come up with a new

they need to probably come up with a new word for it, but it's it is what it is.

word for it, but it's it is what it is. Neuroplasticity means the brain is

Neuroplasticity means the brain is always able to change itself based on

always able to change itself based on what it's trying to do. This is why I

what it's trying to do. This is why I have theories around AI. The AI is the

have theories around AI. The AI is the second time this has happened. What's

second time this has happened. What's the defining

the defining um what's the defining trait that makes

um what's the defining trait that makes the brain

the brain crazy and advanced above every other

crazy and advanced above every other machinery? Iteration neuroplasticity.

machinery? Iteration neuroplasticity. Your iPad can't iterate. Mhm. It's by

Your iPad can't iterate. Mhm. It's by it's it's got its uh bits and pieces and

it's it's got its uh bits and pieces and all of this stuff. It can't change

all of this stuff. It can't change itself, but the brain can change itself.

itself, but the brain can change itself. What's the defining trait of AI

What's the defining trait of AI software? Iteration

software? Iteration neuroplasticity. It can change. It can

neuroplasticity. It can change. It can change based on new data. So, we're

change based on new data. So, we're going into this weird weird realm where

going into this weird weird realm where people are trying to basically copy the

people are trying to basically copy the brain technology, put it into science.

brain technology, put it into science. What were we talking about? It's not

What were we talking about? It's not about AI. Gary Wayne has got me

about AI. Gary Wayne has got me hijacked, man.

hijacked, man. This is Gary's fault. You were talking

This is Gary's fault. You were talking about how much your brain can process.

about how much your brain can process. You were talking about attachment

You were talking about attachment theories. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

theories. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, whatever you battled with in

Okay. So, whatever you battled with in the past, if it's rejection, then you

the past, if it's rejection, then you are going to develop a

are going to develop a sixth sense for anything that could pose

sixth sense for anything that could pose a similar threat in the future, which is

a similar threat in the future, which is why you become avoidant. You want to

why you become avoidant. You want to step back and look at anything because

step back and look at anything because that's a protective mechanism. If you

that's a protective mechanism. If you develop self-worth issues in the past

develop self-worth issues in the past and we talked about this in the episode

and we talked about this in the episode with shame, then your re is looking for

with shame, then your re is looking for anything in your life that can say that

anything in your life that can say that you will not meet the bar for being a

you will not meet the bar for being a friend with this person because your

friend with this person because your self worth is too low. Right? So then

self worth is too low. Right? So then you become anxious. You start stepping

you become anxious. You start stepping back and looking at all this stuff that

back and looking at all this stuff that triggers a new triggers um a new

triggers a new triggers um a new phenomena in the brain called the reward

phenomena in the brain called the reward prediction error. This is called you you

prediction error. This is called you you go up to a neuroscientist you say RP.

go up to a neuroscientist you say RP. Mhm. they're they're usually going to

Mhm. they're they're usually going to know what you're talking about. The

know what you're talking about. The reward prediction error is basically the

reward prediction error is basically the expectation

expectation um that begins to get into your body and

um that begins to get into your body and into your brain that you want something

into your brain that you want something that you do not get over time. And what

that you do not get over time. And what this eventually does is it impairs your

this eventually does is it impairs your executive function. So your executive

executive function. So your executive function is what enables you to make

function is what enables you to make decisions.

decisions. It's what enables you to think on a

It's what enables you to think on a higher level frequency, higher level

higher level frequency, higher level plane. Frequency is just a brain. It's

plane. Frequency is just a brain. It's not the goddess of new age, don't worry.

not the goddess of new age, don't worry. It's just the tracking the the frequency

It's just the tracking the the frequency of the brain, beta, theta, all this

of the brain, beta, theta, all this stuff like it it'll cap you. And so the

stuff like it it'll cap you. And so the reward prediction error is basically in

reward prediction error is basically in the Bible when um the Bible says hope

the Bible when um the Bible says hope deferred makes the heart grow uh sick.

deferred makes the heart grow uh sick. Yeah. Makes the heart sick, makes the

Yeah. Makes the heart sick, makes the mind sick, it makes the body sick, it

mind sick, it makes the body sick, it makes the brain sick. Because when

makes the brain sick. Because when you're expecting something and you don't

you're expecting something and you don't get it, it sucks dopamine out of the

get it, it sucks dopamine out of the system and it hurts you physiologically.

system and it hurts you physiologically. I think it's called the um singulate

I think it's called the um singulate anterior cortex, which is what what

anterior cortex, which is what what actually logs pain. You maybe want to

actually logs pain. You maybe want to fact check that. Singulate

fact check that. Singulate um anterior cortex.

um anterior cortex. When the brain feels physical pain, if I

When the brain feels physical pain, if I came up to you and punched you in the

came up to you and punched you in the mouth, this part of your brain would

mouth, this part of your brain would light up. Oh, we just got hurt. Well,

light up. Oh, we just got hurt. Well, when a person experiences

when a person experiences something they expected that did not

something they expected that did not come to pass,

come to pass, insecurity takes place. The same part of

insecurity takes place. The same part of the brain lights up. Your brain logs it

the brain lights up. Your brain logs it as physiological pain.

This is wild. Uh sing ant singulate anterior cortex. Uh this is uh

anterior cortex. Uh this is uh responsible for emotional regulation,

responsible for emotional regulation, cognitive control, conflict monitoring,

cognitive control, conflict monitoring, decision-m and pain perception. Boom. So

decision-m and pain perception. Boom. So that was correct. I have a question

that was correct. I have a question here. Okay. To see if this is this might

here. Okay. To see if this is this might take us into the spiritual side for just

take us into the spiritual side for just a second. Okay. What's happening when I

a second. Okay. What's happening when I I'll just be really raw here, really

I'll just be really raw here, really honest. Like there are certain people

honest. Like there are certain people who are in like the more I don't know

who are in like the more I don't know they're more wellknown and I wouldn't

they're more wellknown and I wouldn't have messaged them probably like 2 years

have messaged them probably like 2 years ago just because it my self-esteem

ago just because it my self-esteem wouldn't have been there. But now I

wouldn't have been there. But now I would feel more comfortable messaging

would feel more comfortable messaging them cuz I feel like I'm more like in

them cuz I feel like I'm more like in their space and it doesn't seem as

their space and it doesn't seem as weird. Is that spiritually me going

weird. Is that spiritually me going like, man, I just don't trust that God

like, man, I just don't trust that God uh that I don't believe what God says

uh that I don't believe what God says about me, or am I, you know, am I

about me, or am I, you know, am I building like a almost like a false

building like a almost like a false altar to feel like I'm adequate to talk

altar to feel like I'm adequate to talk to these people now?

Can you rephrase the question for me? When you feel like suddenly out of

When you feel like suddenly out of nowhere your self-esteem is where it

nowhere your self-esteem is where it wasn't before,

wasn't before, does that is that an indicator that your

does that is that an indicator that your identity is rooted in the wrong thing?

identity is rooted in the wrong thing? When your self-esteem grows? Yeah. When

When your self-esteem grows? Yeah. When your self-esteem just suddenly seems to

your self-esteem just suddenly seems to grow and you feel like you can talk to

grow and you feel like you can talk to people that you wouldn't normally talk

people that you wouldn't normally talk to. No, that doesn't mean your identity

to. No, that doesn't mean your identity is rooted in the wrong thing at all. No,

is rooted in the wrong thing at all. No, you can't just believe what God says.

Your body has to accept it. M so you can you can use faith

so you can you can use faith with like okay I'm going to repeat this

with like okay I'm going to repeat this verse out over and over and over and

verse out over and over and over and over. Well that's you're using faith to

over. Well that's you're using faith to repeat the verse but the verse is going

repeat the verse but the verse is going through your ears. It's processing

through your ears. It's processing through the cognition of the brain and

through the cognition of the brain and your brain starts to accept it. That's

your brain starts to accept it. That's still a physiological

still a physiological thing. So you people should expect like

thing. So you people should expect like okay I'm going to start living God's way

okay I'm going to start living God's way and it's going to take me some time to

and it's going to take me some time to get into the place where I feel that M

get into the place where I feel that M I'm going to behave my way into feeling

I'm going to behave my way into feeling the self-esteem. I'm going to speak my

the self-esteem. I'm going to speak my way into feeling the the way that God

way into feeling the the way that God feels about me. You know, that doesn't

feels about me. You know, that doesn't mean that you have the wrong identity.

mean that you have the wrong identity. That means that it's working.

That means that it's working. Neuroplasticity is active. You're

Neuroplasticity is active. You're iterating, but you're iterating on what

iterating, but you're iterating on what to what you're orienting and iterating

to what you're orienting and iterating to the scripture. M

to the scripture. M got it. Okay. But it would be bad if all

got it. Okay. But it would be bad if all of a sudden if I was rich and I felt

of a sudden if I was rich and I felt like I could talk to rich people, but

like I could talk to rich people, but then all of a sudden I was poor and I

then all of a sudden I was poor and I felt like I couldn't talk to rich people

felt like I couldn't talk to rich people anymore. That would once again be

anymore. That would once again be iteration. Got it. So, is it good or

iteration. Got it. So, is it good or bad? I don't think it's either. I think

bad? I don't think it's either. I think is it is it setting you up to do what

is it is it setting you up to do what God's asked you to do? If it's not, then

God's asked you to do? If it's not, then deal with it. If it is, great. Run with

deal with it. If it is, great. Run with it. Cool. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. So,

it. Cool. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. So, self-esteem. Self-esteem.

Reward prediction error. One more thing on the reward prediction error and then

on the reward prediction error and then I want to get into Psalms 91. Um

I want to get into Psalms 91. Um when a person has this loop happening

when a person has this loop happening and they are um let's say that they are

and they are um let's say that they are they're triggered because they set a

they're triggered because they set a goal in their business or they set a

goal in their business or they set a goal with a relationship and then it

goal with a relationship and then it does not come to pass. It doesn't happen

does not come to pass. It doesn't happen the right way. The trigger we don't know

the right way. The trigger we don't know where the trigger goes. We don't know

where the trigger goes. We don't know where it's going to insert itself into

where it's going to insert itself into the linear like piece of this equation.

the linear like piece of this equation. So let me give you two examples to

So let me give you two examples to delineate this. Let's say you wake up on

delineate this. Let's say you wake up on a Thursday morning. These are dumb

a Thursday morning. These are dumb examples, but let's use them. You wake

examples, but let's use them. You wake up on a Thursday morning. You're like,

up on a Thursday morning. You're like, I'm going to like talk to this girl.

I'm going to like talk to this girl. You're not married to Heather's four

You're not married to Heather's four years ago. Okay, whatever. It would be

years ago. Okay, whatever. It would be adultery if you did this now. So, don't.

adultery if you did this now. So, don't. Thank you, Taylor. But let's say you're

Thank you, Taylor. But let's say you're like, I'm going to talk to this girl.

like, I'm going to talk to this girl. And uh it's Thursday morning. It's

And uh it's Thursday morning. It's sunny. Yeah. It's a beautiful Sunday

sunny. Yeah. It's a beautiful Sunday morning. You drink a nice cup of coffee.

morning. You drink a nice cup of coffee. You get into your car. You drive.

You get into your car. You drive. There's traffic on the way. You talk to

There's traffic on the way. You talk to this girl and she completely rejects

this girl and she completely rejects you. We don't know where the trigger is

you. We don't know where the trigger is going to develop

going to develop because if this has ever happened before

because if this has ever happened before and enough variables were the same,

and enough variables were the same, emotional pairing is going to tell where

emotional pairing is going to tell where the trigger is supposed to go. So it

the trigger is supposed to go. So it could happen on a Thursday morning when

could happen on a Thursday morning when you wake up and it's sunny and you're

you wake up and it's sunny and you're drinking your coffee. Oh my god, like

drinking your coffee. Oh my god, like I'm about to get rejected and we're

I'm about to get rejected and we're triggered into something. It could

triggered into something. It could happen when you get into your car and

happen when you get into your car and there's traffic. We don't know. There's

there's traffic. We don't know. There's going to be some record of it printed

going to be some record of it printed into the body and we're going to have

into the body and we're going to have experiences in the future that call back

experiences in the future that call back to this moment as a reference.

to this moment as a reference. What do I do with this? This has

What do I do with this? This has happened before. I don't know what to do

happened before. I don't know what to do with it. Oh, you should freak out.

with it. Oh, you should freak out. You're about to get rejected. Okay, make

You're about to get rejected. Okay, make sense? Mhm. This is part looping is part

sense? Mhm. This is part looping is part neurochemical, is part physiological,

neurochemical, is part physiological, and it's part just like, you know, you

and it's part just like, you know, you see this happen enough and it's it's in

see this happen enough and it's it's in the Bible. you can find it. Um,

the Bible. you can find it. Um, when this becomes a pattern and we

when this becomes a pattern and we become used to it and it happens over

become used to it and it happens over and over and over again, failure or

and over and over again, failure or rejection

rejection will sneak its way into the pattern.

will sneak its way into the pattern. It's no longer something we are just

It's no longer something we are just trying to avoid. It's now something that

trying to avoid. It's now something that we expect to tell us that we're normal.

we expect to tell us that we're normal. The desire to talk to this girl or to

The desire to talk to this girl or to build this business doesn't go away with

build this business doesn't go away with the re reward prediction error. It's

the re reward prediction error. It's still there. What happens is the desire

still there. What happens is the desire to be rejected works its way into the

to be rejected works its way into the reward.

reward. And this is where people become addicted

And this is where people become addicted to failure

to failure because for their entire lives they've

because for their entire lives they've tried to do something, it has not worked

tried to do something, it has not worked out. And slowly but surely the

out. And slowly but surely the neuroplasticity of the brain accepts

neuroplasticity of the brain accepts failure as a proof point

failure as a proof point that we are normal.

And you see this in weird ways. Um when we were in school, did you ever

when we were in school, did you ever compare about how bad your grades were

compare about how bad your grades were so you could fit in? I did. Like make

so you could fit in? I did. Like make yourself feel better about your own

yourself feel better about your own grade. Yeah. Oh yeah, mom. It's fine.

grade. Yeah. Oh yeah, mom. It's fine. Mom's upset with you. Everybody got a

Mom's upset with you. Everybody got a 60. And then over time, somebody's like,

60. And then over time, somebody's like, "I got a 55. I got a 49." It's like,

"I got a 55. I got a 49." It's like, "Hey, it was bad until we're one uping

"Hey, it was bad until we're one uping each other." So this is like we're

each other." So this is like we're fitting into a social construct based on

fitting into a social construct based on how bad our lives are. Yeah. And then

how bad our lives are. Yeah. And then when we are 10 years later, we can't

when we are 10 years later, we can't escape that because our brain is

escape that because our brain is expecting the failure. And so we're

expecting the failure. And so we're actually in a loop now where the reward

actually in a loop now where the reward prediction error is working the way that

prediction error is working the way that it's supposed to.

it's supposed to. And it's more comfortable for us to fail

And it's more comfortable for us to fail than it is for us to win.

How we deal with that? Yeah. How do you Yeah. Cuz if you're addicted to failure,

Yeah. Cuz if you're addicted to failure, the way that somebody's addicted to

the way that somebody's addicted to cocaine, that's difficult. You're going

cocaine, that's difficult. You're going to have to really work through this with

to have to really work through this with the counselor, with the Holy Spirit.

the counselor, with the Holy Spirit. Before you go into Psalm 91, did you

Before you go into Psalm 91, did you already cover hyper vigil vigilance? Do

already cover hyper vigil vigilance? Do you want to cover it? I just don't want

you want to cover it? I just don't want to take us Well, you said we were going

to take us Well, you said we were going to go into it. So now we're in an open

to go into it. So now we're in an open loop there. So I don't I don't want to

loop there. So I don't I don't want to leave it open. How much time do we have?

leave it open. How much time do we have? Well, you said it was going to take us 2

Well, you said it was going to take us 2 hours. We're only like an hour and

hours. We're only like an hour and 20-ish in. Okay. So we're good. We'll do

20-ish in. Okay. So we're good. We'll do another open loop and we'll come back to

another open loop and we'll come back to Psalm 91 in a second.

No, let's do Psalm 91. Let's cover hypervigilance in a different episode.

hypervigilance in a different episode. Let's Oh, no.

Let's Oh, no. Heather knows. There's so many comments

Heather knows. There's so many comments online right now where they're like half

online right now where they're like half the premise of the deep end is Taylor

the premise of the deep end is Taylor saying we'll talk about this in another

saying we'll talk about this in another show. Really? I don't think it happens

show. Really? I don't think it happens that often, but sometimes it does. And

that often, but sometimes it does. And people 10 hours a month of content.

people 10 hours a month of content. People want more.

People want more. It's a lot. It's true.

It's a lot. It's true. All right, fine. Hyper vigilance. I'm

All right, fine. Hyper vigilance. I'm going have to hold you to it and find

going have to hold you to it and find another way to weave it in somewhere

another way to weave it in somewhere else. All right. Psalm 91. Well, I I

else. All right. Psalm 91. Well, I I want to actually give people stuff that

want to actually give people stuff that they can use to to move forward.

they can use to to move forward. Hypervigilance is is going to explain a

Hypervigilance is is going to explain a little bit of this stuff. Implicate

little bit of this stuff. Implicate order, explicate order, like all of the

order, explicate order, like all of the quantum stuff, like that's its own

quantum stuff, like that's its own episode. We can do that as its own

episode. We can do that as its own episode cuz you have what's in you and

episode cuz you have what's in you and you have what's it's outside of you and

you have what's it's outside of you and they're chained together. The kingdom of

they're chained together. The kingdom of heaven is near. It's cuz it's in the

heaven is near. It's cuz it's in the it's right. It's inside of you. Like

it's right. It's inside of you. Like it's it's in you.

it's it's in you. That's a long topic and I think we're

That's a long topic and I think we're already going to run out of time.

already going to run out of time. Okay. Well, for the audience that's sad

Okay. Well, for the audience that's sad now, I tried. We'll come back to it some

now, I tried. We'll come back to it some other time if we got time. Let's hit it

other time if we got time. Let's hit it at the end of this episode. Cool. Um

at the end of this episode. Cool. Um that Psalm 91 has helped me more than

that Psalm 91 has helped me more than most um in regards to my

most um in regards to my um a avoidant attachment like my I want

um a avoidant attachment like my I want to shut my life down to avoid being

to shut my life down to avoid being hurt. And when you have anxiety, you've

hurt. And when you have anxiety, you've got like, you know, the Philippians

got like, you know, the Philippians verse which is incredible for anxiety.

verse which is incredible for anxiety. be anxious about nothing, but in all

be anxious about nothing, but in all things through parent supplication, blah

things through parent supplication, blah blah blah blah blah. Um, what's

blah blah blah blah. Um, what's unbelievable is like all of the

unbelievable is like all of the neurochemistry is in scripture somewhere

neurochemistry is in scripture somewhere if you know how to read it. These guys

if you know how to read it. These guys knew. They freaking knew, bro. When uh

knew. They freaking knew, bro. When uh uh Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

uh Hope deferred makes the heart sick, it physically literally makes the heart

it physically literally makes the heart sick. How did he know that? I don't How

sick. How did he know that? I don't How would he know that? They didn't have my

would he know that? They didn't have my like X-rays and stuff. They couldn't

like X-rays and stuff. They couldn't look at this stuff. when he says good

look at this stuff. when he says good good uh laughter is good medicine for

good uh laughter is good medicine for the bones. How did he know that? How did

the bones. How did he know that? How did he know that that the the white blood

he know that that the the white blood cell and red blood cell production of

cell and red blood cell production of the body comes through the the bones?

the body comes through the the bones? And how did he know that when you smile

And how did he know that when you smile and are positive if there's no way they

and are positive if there's no way they knew this stuff through science? They

knew this stuff through science? They knew it through divine revelation. So

knew it through divine revelation. So Psalms 91 is this picture and we have to

Psalms 91 is this picture and we have to munch on it. We got to eat it. It's like

munch on it. We got to eat it. It's like we have to take it hookline and sinker

we have to take it hookline and sinker all the way in. This is our road mapap

all the way in. This is our road mapap for how do we make it through a storm

for how do we make it through a storm and not be triggered by the last time we

and not be triggered by the last time we went through a storm. So, we're going to

went through a storm. So, we're going to spend some some good time on here for

spend some some good time on here for the rest of the episode. Psalms 91.

the rest of the episode. Psalms 91. Let's read the whole thing real fast. Um

Let's read the whole thing real fast. Um I'm going to pull it up and uh do you

I'm going to pull it up and uh do you have a preference on translation? I love

have a preference on translation? I love Amplified, dude. That's my favorite, but

Amplified, dude. That's my favorite, but you can read whatever you like.

you can read whatever you like. He who dwells in the shelter of the most

He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will remain secure and rest in the

high will remain secure and rest in the shadow of the almighty whose power no

shadow of the almighty whose power no enemy can withstand. I will say of the

enemy can withstand. I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress,

Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust with great

my God in whom I trust with great confidence and on whom I rely for he

confidence and on whom I rely for he will save you from the trap of the

will save you from the trap of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.

fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you and completely protect

He will cover you and completely protect you in his pinions. Wow. Amplified going

you in his pinions. Wow. Amplified going crazy on us right now. Don't know what

crazy on us right now. Don't know what that is. And under his wings you will

that is. And under his wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness is a

find refuge. His faithfulness is a shield in a wall. Remember that because

shield in a wall. Remember that because there's breakdowns that we need to

there's breakdowns that we need to understand specifically around a shield.

understand specifically around a shield. You will not be afraid of the terror of

You will not be afraid of the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that socks in the

nor of the pestilence that socks in the darkness, nor the destruction or sudden

darkness, nor the destruction or sudden death that lays waste at noon. A

death that lays waste at noon. A thousand may fall at your right side and

thousand may fall at your right side and 10,000 at your right hand, but danger

10,000 at your right hand, but danger will not come near you. You will only be

will not come near you. You will only be a spectator as you look on with your

a spectator as you look on with your eyes and witness the divine repayment of

eyes and witness the divine repayment of the wicked as you watch safely from the

the wicked as you watch safely from the shelter of the most high. Because you

shelter of the most high. Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,

have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the most high, your dwelling place.

even the most high, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you. No plague will

No evil will befall you. No plague will come near your tent. For he will command

come near your tent. For he will command his angels in regards to you, to protect

his angels in regards to you, to protect and defend and guard you in all your

and defend and guard you in all your ways of obedience and service. They will

ways of obedience and service. They will lift you up in their hands so that you

lift you up in their hands so that you do not even strike your foot against a

do not even strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and

stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra. The young lion and the

the cobra. The young lion and the serpent will trample underneath you

serpent will trample underneath you because he set his love on me.

because he set his love on me. Therefore, I will save him. This is a

Therefore, I will save him. This is a quote. I will set him securely on high

quote. I will set him securely on high because he knows my name. He will call

because he knows my name. He will call upon me, says the Lord, and I will

upon me, says the Lord, and I will answer him. I will be with him in

answer him. I will be with him in trouble and I will rescue him and honor

trouble and I will rescue him and honor him with a long life. I will satisfy him

him with a long life. I will satisfy him and I will let him see my salvation.

and I will let him see my salvation. Pretty good, right? Not bad. Mm- not bad

Pretty good, right? Not bad. Mm- not bad at all. So if you don't believe in

at all. So if you don't believe in angels, you don't believe in the Bible

angels, you don't believe in the Bible because the lyrics talks about angels.

because the lyrics talks about angels. That's a shot across the bow. Uh just

That's a shot across the bow. Uh just saying you should read your Bible.

saying you should read your Bible. Specifically, let's go into the

Specifically, let's go into the historical relevance of Psalms 917. This

historical relevance of Psalms 917. This is the HCSB. Though a thousand fall at

is the HCSB. Though a thousand fall at your side and 10,000 at your right hand,

your side and 10,000 at your right hand, the pestilence will not reach you. So

the pestilence will not reach you. So first of all, the word here for shall

first of all, the word here for shall fall. You pull this is a warfare context

fall. You pull this is a warfare context word. So you didn't just talk. It's not

word. So you didn't just talk. It's not like, hey, a tree fell over. This is

like, hey, a tree fell over. This is like a strong man fell down to the

like a strong man fell down to the ground. It's a very aggressive type

ground. It's a very aggressive type word. Historically, if if you're in if

word. Historically, if if you're in if you're in a wars scenario back then, and

you're in a wars scenario back then, and if you study history, a thousand people

if you study history, a thousand people falling next to you is like you you wars

falling next to you is like you you wars losing. You're you're that's a lot of

losing. You're you're that's a lot of people at one time. They're all

people at one time. They're all dismantled falling down at the same

dismantled falling down at the same time. It's violent. It's a violent

time. It's violent. It's a violent collapse. It often is attached to divine

collapse. It often is attached to divine judgment. So this word is used in

judgment. So this word is used in pairing with divine judgment. So if a

pairing with divine judgment. So if a thousand people die immediately, that's

thousand people die immediately, that's like we're in Egypt. Mhm. The thousand

like we're in Egypt. Mhm. The thousand kids just were like that's a that's a

kids just were like that's a that's a divine thing. They wouldn't look at

divine thing. They wouldn't look at that. They have bombs and stuff.

that. They have bombs and stuff. This is David saying if a cataclysm

This is David saying if a cataclysm happens in your life and everyone's

happens in your life and everyone's taken out at the same time, it doesn't

taken out at the same time, it doesn't mean what you think it means.

mean what you think it means. Don't get triggered.

Don't get triggered. What it means to other people is that

What it means to other people is that you're about to die and God is trying to

you're about to die and God is trying to get rid of you. That's the connotation.

get rid of you. That's the connotation. But it doesn't mean that here. redefine

But it doesn't mean that here. redefine the meaning of what triggers you.

the meaning of what triggers you. Oh yeah, we're going to patch Psalm 91

Oh yeah, we're going to patch Psalm 91 into trigger and therapy cuz this is

into trigger and therapy cuz this is what it actually means. A thousand falls

what it actually means. A thousand falls at your left side. This is a

at your left side. This is a um a word that they would usually pair

um a word that they would usually pair with human vulnerability. So it's like a

with human vulnerability. So it's like a it's not a it's not a word that means

it's not a it's not a word that means vulnerability. It's an idiom. So it's an

vulnerability. It's an idiom. So it's an idiomatic expression. And they would

idiomatic expression. And they would usually use it with like the left is

usually use it with like the left is your is your vulnerability. This is your

your is your vulnerability. This is your weaker hand. M so you're right-handed,

weaker hand. M so you're right-handed, your left is your weaker hand. So this

your left is your weaker hand. So this is just the frailty of human nature. Um

is just the frailty of human nature. Um symbolically the left was where you were

symbolically the left was where you were most exposed as well. So where people

most exposed as well. So where people were supposed to guard you, your weak

were supposed to guard you, your weak point, they didn't. That's what a

point, they didn't. That's what a thousand people falling at your left

thousand people falling at your left side means. M maybe not a betrayal, but

side means. M maybe not a betrayal, but it's an it's it's you being exposed at a

it's an it's it's you being exposed at a level that you could not have defended

level that you could not have defended yourself from. You needed other people

yourself from. You needed other people to defend you and they didn't. They

to defend you and they didn't. They died. The right hand is your hand of

died. The right hand is your hand of strength. It's the hand for covenant in

strength. It's the hand for covenant in the Old Testament. The left hand is the

the Old Testament. The left hand is the side of weakness. So he's saying a

side of weakness. So he's saying a thousand people on your weak side have

thousand people on your weak side have gone. And then it gets crazier.

gone. And then it gets crazier. 10,000

10,000 on the side of strength.

on the side of strength. This is where you should have been able

This is where you should have been able to control your scenario, but you're

to control your scenario, but you're losing there worse than you're losing on

losing there worse than you're losing on your left hand side. This is a bad bad

your left hand side. This is a bad bad scenario. This is a total collapse of

scenario. This is a total collapse of all your systems,

all your systems, of everything that you thought could

of everything that you thought could protect you and move you forward. This

protect you and move you forward. This is an archetype for like there's just

is an archetype for like there's just mass chaos in your life. Where do we get

mass chaos in your life. Where do we get some of our like wives tales from stuff

some of our like wives tales from stuff that actually happened when it rains? It

that actually happened when it rains? It pours. Pours. Like it's going to get

pours. Pours. Like it's going to get worse. It's like what? How is that

worse. It's like what? How is that supposed to help us with our triggers?

supposed to help us with our triggers? You're triggered. You're in traffic.

You're triggered. You're in traffic. Well, your car is probably going to blow

Well, your car is probably going to blow up. When it rains, it pours. Why are we

up. When it rains, it pours. Why are we telling people this? It's the worst

telling people this? It's the worst thing, man. This is not just This is not

thing, man. This is not just This is not just David talking about war. This is a

just David talking about war. This is a t talking about unraveling structures

t talking about unraveling structures are failing. Okay. So your life has

are failing. Okay. So your life has unraveled now. USA is no longer a thing.

unraveled now. USA is no longer a thing. Like things have unraveled to the point

Like things have unraveled to the point where mental stability, health, systems

where mental stability, health, systems of government, nations are falling.

of government, nations are falling. Yikes. It's bad. Mhm. This is 917. It's

Yikes. It's bad. Mhm. This is 917. It's rough. Okay. And there's a there's a

rough. Okay. And there's a there's a neural template here because if you read

neural template here because if you read through the whole thing again, you go

through the whole thing again, you go line by line, what you realize is

line by line, what you realize is there's like a cadence to it. Um there's

there's like a cadence to it. Um there's a start, a middle, and an end.

a start, a middle, and an end. Start, middle, and end. Where does it

Start, middle, and end. Where does it start? It starts with your location,

start? It starts with your location, the secret place. Mhm. So before we even

the secret place. Mhm. So before we even get to the cataclysm, before we even get

get to the cataclysm, before we even get to the to the losses and everything

to the to the losses and everything else, there's a preparation piece of

else, there's a preparation piece of this. So we don't know when catastrophe

this. So we don't know when catastrophe is going to hit. We don't know the next

is going to hit. We don't know the next time this this thing that our our trauma

time this this thing that our our trauma is trying to protect us from is going to

is trying to protect us from is going to happen, but we do know where we should

happen, but we do know where we should be when it happens.

be when it happens. We should be in the secret place. We

We should be in the secret place. We should be on our floor like my wife this

should be on our floor like my wife this morning.

morning. calling out to God. That's where it all

calling out to God. That's where it all starts. And then verse 3-6, we see

starts. And then verse 3-6, we see there's a personal protection or a

there's a personal protection or a personal immunity that will come when we

personal immunity that will come when we live in the secret place. So, we're

live in the secret place. So, we're going to start there. What's the

going to start there. What's the derivative of starting there? We have

derivative of starting there? We have personal protection. Arrows ain't going

personal protection. Arrows ain't going to get you. Terror is not going to get

to get you. Terror is not going to get you. Pestilence is not going to get you.

you. Pestilence is not going to get you. Then verse six, now the whole world

Then verse six, now the whole world collapses. All right? It's like it just

collapses. All right? It's like it just got worse.

got worse. Be very careful when you are in a season

Be very careful when you are in a season of pursuing God and your life is okay,

of pursuing God and your life is okay, but it's also getting worse.

Be very careful here because you're in the middle of verse 6 to verse 7 and you

the middle of verse 6 to verse 7 and you haven't gotten to verse 10 yet.

haven't gotten to verse 10 yet. This is a this is a map, dude.

This is a this is a map, dude. So, this is the story of the young man

So, this is the story of the young man that I met at the at a conference that I

that I met at the at a conference that I spoke to. This is giant dude. I think he

spoke to. This is giant dude. I think he was 28 years old and I spoke on sales

was 28 years old and I spoke on sales and it had like nothing to do with God.

and it had like nothing to do with God. But the Holy Spirit doesn't care what

But the Holy Spirit doesn't care what you're talking about. Like he'll tell

you're talking about. Like he'll tell people whatever they're supposed to hear

people whatever they're supposed to hear if you're obedient. So he comes up to me

if you're obedient. So he comes up to me afterwards and he's trying to ask me a

afterwards and he's trying to ask me a question. He can't get the question out.

question. He can't get the question out. He's crying in the middle of it and he's

He's crying in the middle of it and he's like, "No matter what I do, I feel this

like, "No matter what I do, I feel this way. And how do I do it? Like what am I

way. And how do I do it? Like what am I supposed to do?" And it's he's going

supposed to do?" And it's he's going closer to God. And his life is getting

closer to God. And his life is getting worse as he goes closer to God. But he's

worse as he goes closer to God. But he's okay. He hasn't gone. He's not lost

okay. He hasn't gone. He's not lost everything. He's still alive. Obviously,

everything. He's still alive. Obviously, he's talking to me. But we have this map

he's talking to me. But we have this map of like you get close to God,

of like you get close to God, you're protected, but that protection

you're protected, but that protection has not made its way to your estate yet.

has not made its way to your estate yet. So, we have to be very careful when

So, we have to be very careful when we're like, "Okay, God has my soul

we're like, "Okay, God has my soul protected, but my stuff is getting taken

protected, but my stuff is getting taken from me."

from me." M cuz the enemy is trying to get you to

M cuz the enemy is trying to get you to backtrack.

backtrack. That I made the decision that I was

That I made the decision that I was going to follow God.

going to follow God. Lost a bunch of stuff

Lost a bunch of stuff and the only thing I could figure out

and the only thing I could figure out that would maybe make it better is if I

that would maybe make it better is if I wasn't as close to God, but that wasn't

wasn't as close to God, but that wasn't an option. This is the enemy

an option. This is the enemy programming.

programming. You want to get closer to God, you lose

You want to get closer to God, you lose your house, you lose your money, you

your house, you lose your money, you lose your best friends, the people have

lose your best friends, the people have turned on you. Okay, you're okay.

turned on you. Okay, you're okay. technically, but you haven't made it to

technically, but you haven't made it to the end of the of the map. And so that

the end of the of the map. And so that protection has not been extended to

protection has not been extended to everything around you. Does this make

everything around you. Does this make sense? So much sense. So the world's

sense? So much sense. So the world's collapsing. Your world's collapsing.

collapsing. Your world's collapsing. You're like triggered by this, triggered

You're like triggered by this, triggered by that. Everything's awful. But you

by that. Everything's awful. But you keep going back to God. God, I don't

keep going back to God. God, I don't understand what you're doing. I don't

understand what you're doing. I don't know why you're not protecting this

know why you're not protecting this business. I don't know why you're not

business. I don't know why you're not doing this, but

doing this, but I'm yours. You can do whatever you want

I'm yours. You can do whatever you want to do. I just want to be in the secret

to do. I just want to be in the secret place. Put me in your name and hide me

place. Put me in your name and hide me there. Don't let me get out of your of

there. Don't let me get out of your of your presence. I'll just stay here as

your presence. I'll just stay here as long as it takes

and you're immune, but everything you built before is not.

but everything you built before is not. Then we get to verse 10 and it starts

Then we get to verse 10 and it starts picking up pace. Verse 10 is where we

picking up pace. Verse 10 is where we get to like, look, evil will knock on

get to like, look, evil will knock on your door and it will be rejected. It

your door and it will be rejected. It can't get around. Now you have a a

can't get around. Now you have a a sphere around you. Mhm. And your sphere

sphere around you. Mhm. And your sphere is expanding out. Enlarge the

is expanding out. Enlarge the the stakes of my tent. Give me more. The

the stakes of my tent. Give me more. The prayer of Jabz. Like push it out. Push

prayer of Jabz. Like push it out. Push the protection I have out around

the protection I have out around everyone around me around my team around

everyone around me around my team around my business. These are prayers you can

my business. These are prayers you can actually pray pray through. And then

actually pray pray through. And then verse 13 it switches and it becomes

verse 13 it switches and it becomes offensive and aggressive. You will

offensive and aggressive. You will trample the serpent and the lion. Now

trample the serpent and the lion. Now you're not just preserved, you're

you're not just preserved, you're weaponized.

weaponized. But we have to go through this process

But we have to go through this process first. Making sense so far? Mhm. You

first. Making sense so far? Mhm. You want to keep going? Mhm. When you study,

want to keep going? Mhm. When you study, let's just go back into the middle of

let's just go back into the middle of this map. You like verse 6, 7, but

this map. You like verse 6, 7, but you're not to verse 10.

you're not to verse 10. to survive in this place requires what

to survive in this place requires what um therapists or psychologists will call

um therapists or psychologists will call internal resourcing. So, if you study PS

internal resourcing. So, if you study PS PTSD and and recovery, they'll show you

PTSD and and recovery, they'll show you that what determines someone's long-term

that what determines someone's long-term resilience is their ability to internal

resilience is their ability to internal resource. So, how do I what tools do I

resource. So, how do I what tools do I have in my body and in my mind to

have in my body and in my mind to categorize what's happening, attach

categorize what's happening, attach meaning to them, label them

meaning to them, label them appropriately? A label is just like this

appropriately? A label is just like this happened. What does it mean? and put a

happened. What does it mean? and put a label on it when I answer. And if you

label on it when I answer. And if you have somebody who's like really at the

have somebody who's like really at the bottom, what does this mean? Well, it

bottom, what does this mean? Well, it means I suck. It means I'm not good

means I suck. It means I'm not good enough. It means that I'm stupid. It

enough. It means that I'm stupid. It means that blah blah blah blah blah. And

means that blah blah blah blah blah. And they'll attach personal identity meaning

they'll attach personal identity meaning to something that's completely separate

to something that's completely separate and out and out outside of them versus

and out and out outside of them versus somebody who's really healthy, like

somebody who's really healthy, like going through a difficult situation.

going through a difficult situation. What does it mean? Ah, God's promoting

What does it mean? Ah, God's promoting me somewhere. You see a different lens.

me somewhere. You see a different lens. Why are you laughing? cuz that's where I

Why are you laughing? cuz that's where I got to go. Yeah. Well, this I had to

got to go. Yeah. Well, this I had to learn this during the FTC. And so,

learn this during the FTC. And so, anyways, what does this mean? Well, it

anyways, what does this mean? Well, it means that God's doing something. He's

means that God's doing something. He's not done yet. I'm not going to attach

not done yet. I'm not going to attach too much importance to the thing that's

too much importance to the thing that's kind of unraveling.

kind of unraveling. I'm going to attach importance to being

I'm going to attach importance to being wherever God's trying to get me to pay

wherever God's trying to get me to pay attention to. And sometimes you should

attention to. And sometimes you should just ask him. You go into your prayer

just ask him. You go into your prayer closet and you're like, "Hey, listen.

closet and you're like, "Hey, listen. You're amazing, but I'm very confused.

You're amazing, but I'm very confused. I'm very upset. I don't get it. I'm not

I'm very upset. I don't get it. I'm not going to change my stance.

going to change my stance. You're always going to be the king. But

You're always going to be the king. But what am I supposed to look at right now?

what am I supposed to look at right now? Cuz all I can see is dysfunctioning

Cuz all I can see is dysfunctioning chaos.

chaos. Will you just take my eyes for a second

Will you just take my eyes for a second and point them in a direction that I'm

and point them in a direction that I'm supposed to look at? Because my triggers

supposed to look at? Because my triggers are pulling my eyes to look at things

are pulling my eyes to look at things that are not good for me. You just ask

that are not good for me. You just ask for help and he does it and you start

for help and he does it and you start noticing different things. It's crazy.

noticing different things. It's crazy. Who would have thought that God answers

Who would have thought that God answers prayer? Yeah. It's all in the Bible.

prayer? Yeah. It's all in the Bible. Wow. So our our our our

Wow. So our our our our internal resourcing is partially

internal resourcing is partially mechanical. So it's biological.

mechanical. So it's biological. Psychosmatics does a pretty good job at

Psychosmatics does a pretty good job at this. You know, when you feel really

this. You know, when you feel really triggered, you can um you can try to

triggered, you can um you can try to find it in your body.

find it in your body. And just finding it in your body will

And just finding it in your body will help you next time not get triggered by

help you next time not get triggered by it. So like somebody's like, um, I'm

it. So like somebody's like, um, I'm really upset right now because

really upset right now because everyone's turning on me. Oh, where is

everyone's turning on me. Oh, where is that in your in your body? Where do you

that in your in your body? Where do you feel it? Oh, I feel it in my chest.

feel it? Oh, I feel it in my chest. Okay. Well, next time you feel that in

Okay. Well, next time you feel that in your chest, it's a trigger. Let's build

your chest, it's a trigger. Let's build an altar around it. Every time you feel

an altar around it. Every time you feel that thing in your chest, you run to

that thing in your chest, you run to God. And then, you know, all hell breaks

God. And then, you know, all hell breaks loose because they're like, "Well,

loose because they're like, "Well, freaking we can't we can't trigger them

freaking we can't we can't trigger them to run to God." So, we need this trigger

to run to God." So, we need this trigger to go away. We got to stop triggering

to go away. We got to stop triggering this person to get into the holy of

this person to get into the holy of holies because every time we take

holies because every time we take something from them, they just run to

something from them, they just run to God. So, we got to deal with with this a

God. So, we got to deal with with this a different way.

different way. Make sense? It's epic. You can name it.

Make sense? It's epic. You can name it. So you can look at it. This is this is

So you can look at it. This is this is sematics and and internal resourcing. I

sematics and and internal resourcing. I feel it in my chest. Okay. Well, let's

feel it in my chest. Okay. Well, let's name that. Let's name that thing.

name that. Let's name that thing. I don't know. Tony. I'm sorry if your

I don't know. Tony. I'm sorry if your name is Tony. This is what Tony. I'm

name is Tony. This is what Tony. I'm going to name that Tony. Okay. Well,

going to name that Tony. Okay. Well, every time you feel Tony, just tell Tony

every time you feel Tony, just tell Tony that you appreciate him looking out, but

that you appreciate him looking out, but you don't need him to deal with that

you don't need him to deal with that anymore. And you just let him go. you

anymore. And you just let him go. you you name it so you can deal with it. In

you name it so you can deal with it. In in linguistics, they'll train you in

in linguistics, they'll train you in like neural linguistic programming. You

like neural linguistic programming. You just got to name something if you want

just got to name something if you want to be able to identify it. Does this

to be able to identify it. Does this make sense? Mhm. So, we have the map. We

make sense? Mhm. So, we have the map. We have the verse 1 3-6 710 13. But we also

have the verse 1 3-6 710 13. But we also have a um and this is all throughout the

have a um and this is all throughout the Bible by the way. Um it's not just Psalm

Bible by the way. Um it's not just Psalm 91

91 there. In famine, he'll shall redeem you

there. In famine, he'll shall redeem you from death. Not a hair on your head will

from death. Not a hair on your head will prosper. No weapon formed against you

prosper. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. Like all of this, all of

shall prosper. Like all of this, all of the Bible points to the same blueprint.

the Bible points to the same blueprint. Whenever the kingdom of darkness tries

Whenever the kingdom of darkness tries to kill you, you don't retreat to save

to kill you, you don't retreat to save yourself. You run to hide in God.

yourself. You run to hide in God. And when you run to hide in God, the

And when you run to hide in God, the world that is the the kingdom of

world that is the the kingdom of darkness is trying to kill you is

darkness is trying to kill you is they're they're cutting their legs off

they're they're cutting their legs off from underneath them. The answer is not

from underneath them. The answer is not to go fix it yourself. It's to run to

to go fix it yourself. It's to run to God every single time.

God every single time. I'm going to keep going unless you have

I'm going to keep going unless you have things you wanted to share. I don't have

things you wanted to share. I don't have anything to share. No. Go ahead. Okay.

anything to share. No. Go ahead. Okay. There's a there's a developmental

There's a there's a developmental sequence in this. Every major covenant

sequence in this. Every major covenant in the Bible contains the same pattern.

in the Bible contains the same pattern. And the pattern looks like this. If we

And the pattern looks like this. If we can visualize it for a second, we have

can visualize it for a second, we have the field of life. So we have everything

the field of life. So we have everything happening around you. Like boom, these

happening around you. Like boom, these people are at war. These people are at

people are at war. These people are at war. My business is not doing good. this

war. My business is not doing good. this stuff is trying to hurt me. There's this

stuff is trying to hurt me. There's this massive scope and field of life. And

massive scope and field of life. And then

then you have this circle around a person

you have this circle around a person and his name is Job, his name is

and his name is Job, his name is Abraham, his name is Moses, his name is

Abraham, his name is Moses, his name is Joshua, her name is Rebecca,

Joshua, her name is Rebecca, her name is Esther. You've got these

her name is Esther. You've got these people and there's a circle around them

people and there's a circle around them and wherever they walk into they're

and wherever they walk into they're protected from whatever chaos is in that

protected from whatever chaos is in that area. And then the more they are

area. And then the more they are obedient, the wider that sphere of

obedient, the wider that sphere of protection gets.

protection gets. This is the all the Bible.

This is the all the Bible. Moses

Moses goes into Egypt, pulls the people out.

goes into Egypt, pulls the people out. Circle is small, then it gets big.

Circle is small, then it gets big. Joshua goes into the promised land.

Joshua goes into the promised land. Circle is small, then it gets big.

Circle is small, then it gets big. Esther goes into the palace of the king.

Esther goes into the palace of the king. Circle small, circle is big. God loves

Circle small, circle is big. God loves to enlarge the sphere, but it requires

to enlarge the sphere, but it requires obedience in the midst of chaos. He will

obedience in the midst of chaos. He will never give you your destiny if you can't

never give you your destiny if you can't be obedient with $10. If you can't be

be obedient with $10. If you can't be obedient with $10, why are you thinking

obedient with $10, why are you thinking you're going to get a billion? You can

you're going to get a billion? You can get it through some deity that's not

get it through some deity that's not Yovah, but you're not going to get it

Yovah, but you're not going to get it through the right way. So this is the

through the right way. So this is the story of the Bible where it's like my

story of the Bible where it's like my life looks crazy but I am hidden in a

life looks crazy but I am hidden in a circle that is keeping everything

circle that is keeping everything outside of me and I'm safe and then that

outside of me and I'm safe and then that expands to cover your family that

expands to cover your family that expands to cover your estate. It expands

expands to cover your estate. It expands to cover your church. It expands to

to cover your church. It expands to cover your country and it just gets

cover your country and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger

bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger to the degree that you can walk with

to the degree that you can walk with God, rock with God and do whatever he

God, rock with God and do whatever he tells you to do. the the sequence is

tells you to do. the the sequence is also follows like child psychology. So

also follows like child psychology. So it's like, okay, we're going to expose

it's like, okay, we're going to expose this person to small doses of chaos

this person to small doses of chaos and then they're like a wreck. I was

and then they're like a wreck. I was triggered, triggered this, blah blah

triggered, triggered this, blah blah blah. Okay, pull you back.

blah. Okay, pull you back. That's not how you do it. Okay, you did

That's not how you do it. Okay, you did that wrong. Holy Spirit's like, you need

that wrong. Holy Spirit's like, you need to repent. You hurt that person. You

to repent. You hurt that person. You just yelled at somebody. Okay, there was

just yelled at somebody. Okay, there was a client uh who was on two weeks ago and

a client uh who was on two weeks ago and she's like, "I feel like I'm trying to

she's like, "I feel like I'm trying to outgrow the aggressive part that I

outgrow the aggressive part that I learned as a kid." I'm like, "What'd you

learned as a kid." I'm like, "What'd you do?" She's like, "I was on the news. I

do?" She's like, "I was on the news. I got into a fist fight with a lady at a

got into a fist fight with a lady at a Dodgers game." It's like, interesting.

Dodgers game." It's like, interesting. Okay. You were put into a situation to

Okay. You were put into a situation to expose you to what's coming after you,

expose you to what's coming after you, and you responded in your flesh. So,

and you responded in your flesh. So, God's pulling you back. That's not how

God's pulling you back. That's not how we do it, guys. We're not going to do it

we do it, guys. We're not going to do it this way. This is like kids.

We try to handle it by ourselves. We're pulled back into safety. We've got to

pulled back into safety. We've got to retrain you. Put you out again. You

retrain you. Put you out again. You handle it. Okay, you can stay. Then

handle it. Okay, you can stay. Then you're pushed into even more chaos where

you're pushed into even more chaos where there's more dysfunction. You didn't

there's more dysfunction. You didn't handle that the right way. You still

handle that the right way. You still have some triggers. Come back into the

have some triggers. Come back into the secret place. Give those triggers to me.

secret place. Give those triggers to me. Okay, you're good. And put you out there

Okay, you're good. And put you out there again. You handled it. Okay, you can

again. You handled it. Okay, you can skank. Spear gets bigger.

skank. Spear gets bigger. All right, here's where we're going.

All right, here's where we're going. We're about to go to the next part. You

We're about to go to the next part. You ready? This is a conver this is like God

ready? This is a conver this is like God talking to you. This is a conversation I

talking to you. This is a conversation I was having with Holy Spirit 6 months

was having with Holy Spirit 6 months ago. And I'm like, I literally want my

ago. And I'm like, I literally want my life to be small. I am I said yes in

life to be small. I am I said yes in October. I'll do it, but can I change my

October. I'll do it, but can I change my answer? Holy Spirit goes, good news.

answer? Holy Spirit goes, good news. It's like really? It's like, yep, your

It's like really? It's like, yep, your life looks really small compared to

life looks really small compared to where you're going.

where you're going. like that doesn't give me what I want.

like that doesn't give me what I want. But this is the I'm about to put you

But this is the I'm about to put you into this position where you're not

into this position where you're not going to be able to to defend yourself.

going to be able to to defend yourself. How do you handle it? What triggers are

How do you handle it? What triggers are corroding you? Okay, go back to the

corroding you? Okay, go back to the secret place. Give those things to God.

secret place. Give those things to God. Where did we get off in thinking that

Where did we get off in thinking that you would just learn something and know

you would just learn something and know how to do it immediately and if you

how to do it immediately and if you didn't, you're not good enough. That's

didn't, you're not good enough. That's not how the disciples did it.

not how the disciples did it. It's a babbling idiot. He says, "Send

It's a babbling idiot. He says, "Send him out." No, don't kill those people.

him out." No, don't kill those people. You did that wrong. You can't cast this

You did that wrong. You can't cast this demon out. You don't even know how to do

demon out. You don't even know how to do that. Okay, come back. Let me train you

that. Okay, come back. Let me train you now. Go back out.

now. Go back out. You will know that you are in the right

You will know that you are in the right space when you go into a place of chaos.

space when you go into a place of chaos. And rather than your triggers pushing

And rather than your triggers pushing you into self-p protection,

you into self-p protection, you are triggered in your understanding

you are triggered in your understanding that you are inadequate without God.

that you are inadequate without God. We are going to replace one trigger with

We are going to replace one trigger with a different trigger.

If you're eating a bunch of Cheetos, we're going to replace that with some

we're going to replace that with some nutritious organic chicken. We're going

nutritious organic chicken. We're going to swap one out for the other. We're not

to swap one out for the other. We're not just going to be like, "No more triggers

just going to be like, "No more triggers ever." Really, that's not how the body

ever." Really, that's not how the body works. It's going to make them up. It's

works. It's going to make them up. It's going to give you more triggers. We want

going to give you more triggers. We want to be triggered.

to be triggered. We don't want to be triggered into

We don't want to be triggered into avoiding attachment. We don't want to be

avoiding attachment. We don't want to be triggered into like stomping on somebody

triggered into like stomping on somebody else and proving that we're good enough.

else and proving that we're good enough. We want to be sent into a season and we

We want to be sent into a season and we are triggered. My soul is triggered that

are triggered. My soul is triggered that I do not have what it takes without God

I do not have what it takes without God showing up. I will be embarrassed if God

showing up. I will be embarrassed if God doesn't show up. What do you want me to

doesn't show up. What do you want me to do? Sometimes it's like, why did you

do? Sometimes it's like, why did you even send me here? What do you want me

even send me here? What do you want me to do? I don't know how to speak to

to do? I don't know how to speak to these people. I don't know how to handle

these people. I don't know how to handle this case. I don't know how to do this.

this case. I don't know how to do this. And we're triggered, right? Mhm. Into

And we're triggered, right? Mhm. Into the place where God is.

the place where God is. We're no longer triggered into avoidant

We're no longer triggered into avoidant or anxiety behavior. We're triggered

or anxiety behavior. We're triggered into pressing into the name of God to

into pressing into the name of God to get our instructions. When we are

get our instructions. When we are triggered this way, our sphere will

triggered this way, our sphere will widen and he'll give you the answers and

widen and he'll give you the answers and he'll tell you what to do. And then you

he'll tell you what to do. And then you just got to not shoplift all that when

just got to not shoplift all that when you come off.

you come off. You don't come off stage and you're

You don't come off stage and you're like, "Yeah, man. Freaking crushed it."

like, "Yeah, man. Freaking crushed it." Okay, maybe you did. But we don't want

Okay, maybe you did. But we don't want the pride to come up in the middle of

the pride to come up in the middle of this because then we'll get triggered

this because then we'll get triggered back into the old things. Does this make

back into the old things. Does this make sense? Yeah. Reminds when you're talking

sense? Yeah. Reminds when you're talking about triggers, my mind's also hearing

about triggers, my mind's also hearing it through the remember the trainers

it through the remember the trainers used to do all the time in the sales

used to do all the time in the sales world of inputs and outputs. Mhm. It's

world of inputs and outputs. Mhm. It's like it works in your mind. It works in

like it works in your mind. It works in your body. If you put in a bunch of like

your body. If you put in a bunch of like people will be like, "Yeah, man. I'm

people will be like, "Yeah, man. I'm just watching the news. I'm just so

just watching the news. I'm just so scared about what's going on." It's like

scared about what's going on." It's like surprised. Like that's that's what

surprised. Like that's that's what you're listening to. That's your inputs.

you're listening to. That's your inputs. If you're even like me, like I become a

If you're even like me, like I become a different person. If I'm on TikTok for

different person. If I'm on TikTok for too long or whatever, my wife knows

too long or whatever, my wife knows exactly when I've been on social media

exactly when I've been on social media too long cuz my personality changes

too long cuz my personality changes literally just from my inputs.

literally just from my inputs. And so controlling those exactly what

And so controlling those exactly what you're saying. Like Yeah. There's

you're saying. Like Yeah. There's nodding her head. It's like very

nodding her head. It's like very obvious. But it's like controlling those

obvious. But it's like controlling those inputs changes what you're triggered by

inputs changes what you're triggered by a ton. Yeah. And you stop getting so

a ton. Yeah. And you stop getting so triggered when you have better inputs.

triggered when you have better inputs. Yep. 100%. So, morning, evening.

Yep. 100%. So, morning, evening. Remember this, your triggers are set up

Remember this, your triggers are set up in the morning. They're set up in the

in the morning. They're set up in the evening. And everything that happens

evening. And everything that happens through the day happens inside of these

through the day happens inside of these these bookends. Mhm. So, there was a

these bookends. Mhm. So, there was a season of my life when every single

season of my life when every single morning, God would make me say the same

morning, God would make me say the same exact thing while I was getting into a

exact thing while I was getting into a cold plunge. Now, people people thought

cold plunge. Now, people people thought I was serious, by the way, when I was

I was serious, by the way, when I was like, "You can't be used by God if you

like, "You can't be used by God if you don't cold plunch." Oh my word. They

don't cold plunch." Oh my word. They were like, "Where is this?" Somebody was

were like, "Where is this?" Somebody was like, "Where is this in the Bible?" I'm

like, "Where is this in the Bible?" I'm like, um, uh, Moses went through the Red

like, um, uh, Moses went through the Red Sea and it was probably cold. Mornings,

Sea and it was probably cold. Mornings, cold exposure, evenings. Where are you

cold exposure, evenings. Where are you most susceptible

most susceptible to your world view from the day? Where

to your world view from the day? Where are you the most susceptible? For me,

are you the most susceptible? For me, it's by far and away the mornings. Wait,

it's by far and away the mornings. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I will I I will get

wait, wait, wait. I will I I will get triggered more in the mornings than ever

triggered more in the mornings than ever at night.

I'm more anxious in the mornings or I'm more liable to get into my head in the

more liable to get into my head in the mornings. So there's morning, evening.

mornings. So there's morning, evening. Where are your book ends? And where does

Where are your book ends? And where does your personality find the most

your personality find the most difficulty mobilizing?

difficulty mobilizing? Does it make sense? Mhm. You have a

Does it make sense? Mhm. You have a difficulty sometimes sleeping. Your

difficulty sometimes sleeping. Your trigger is going to be nighttime. Mine's

trigger is going to be nighttime. Mine's always night time. Yeah. Mine's always

always night time. Yeah. Mine's always morning. Always morning. Um and you can

morning. Always morning. Um and you can find cases for both in the Bible. So, 2

find cases for both in the Bible. So, 2 Kings 6:15, the the king wakes up early

Kings 6:15, the the king wakes up early in the morning, the Bible says, and he

in the morning, the Bible says, and he panics early in the morning. We're

panics early in the morning. We're surrounded. You've been studying Elisha,

surrounded. You've been studying Elisha, right? Mhm. So, you remember the story?

right? Mhm. So, you remember the story? He's like, "We're surrounded by an enemy

He's like, "We're surrounded by an enemy adversary early in the morning." And

adversary early in the morning." And Elisha goes, "Nope, we're not. They're

Elisha goes, "Nope, we're not. They're outnumbered by uh chariots of fire and

outnumbered by uh chariots of fire and angels." And so you got a you got a king

angels." And so you got a you got a king in the Bible whose

in the Bible whose archetype is probably similar to mine

archetype is probably similar to mine where like everything that I'm triggered

where like everything that I'm triggered by is in the morning. And when you when

by is in the morning. And when you when you realize yourself starting to lose

you realize yourself starting to lose your dominion over your mind, you're

your dominion over your mind, you're starting to fear p feel panic and you're

starting to fear p feel panic and you're starting to calculate the odds of what's

starting to calculate the odds of what's going to happen to you. You got to

going to happen to you. You got to remember that it's always an issue of

remember that it's always an issue of optics. It's always an issue of optics.

optics. It's always an issue of optics. you. It's actually Elisha's servant.

you. It's actually Elisha's servant. Sorry, nothing. It was actually Elisha's

Sorry, nothing. It was actually Elisha's servant. Elisha's servant. You have um

servant. Elisha's servant. You have um I'm glad you found that. Thank you for

I'm glad you found that. Thank you for bringing that up cuz then we would have

bringing that up cuz then we would have had like Yeah. Somebody would have done

had like Yeah. Somebody would have done an episode on how I'm like basically

an episode on how I'm like basically rewriting the Bible. Not I promise. I

rewriting the Bible. Not I promise. I was like, I think that's off. Go ahead.

was like, I think that's off. Go ahead. When when you when you realize that it's

When when you when you realize that it's less about your calculation of odds and

less about your calculation of odds and what you can do and it's more about what

what you can do and it's more about what you can't see, a lot of these triggers

you can't see, a lot of these triggers begin to go away.

If you're if you're positioned in a place where you can see what's happening

place where you can see what's happening in the spirit, not like a a seer would,

in the spirit, not like a a seer would, but you can see where God's promises

but you can see where God's promises are. Do you trust the Bible? If you

are. Do you trust the Bible? If you trust the Bible, then it means that God

trust the Bible, then it means that God has given angels in charge of protecting

has given angels in charge of protecting you and holding your head up. Do you do

you and holding your head up. Do you do you believe that or do you not?

you believe that or do you not? Can you see what God is doing and ask

Can you see what God is doing and ask him to show you? Show me what I'm

him to show you? Show me what I'm supposed to look at. Then your fear

supposed to look at. Then your fear tendencies begin to go away and they're

tendencies begin to go away and they're replaced with a a a more spiritually

replaced with a a a more spiritually aligned trigger of like, I've got to get

aligned trigger of like, I've got to get closer to God so that I can see what's

closer to God so that I can see what's happening. You're not trying to get to a

happening. You're not trying to get to a place of invincibility. You're trying to

place of invincibility. You're trying to get your proximity closer to God.

get your proximity closer to God. Spiritual warfare has way less to do

Spiritual warfare has way less to do with like talking to demons and stuff,

with like talking to demons and stuff, and it has way more to do with aligning

and it has way more to do with aligning with what God's doing on the earth.

with what God's doing on the earth. That's it. You don't have to really

That's it. You don't have to really worry about, well, what demon is trying

worry about, well, what demon is trying to mess with my property right now?

to mess with my property right now? What's his name? People are like, you

What's his name? People are like, you have to know their name to kick them

have to know their name to kick them out. Unbiblical. It's not true. It's

out. Unbiblical. It's not true. It's like, no, not in the Bible. You don't

like, no, not in the Bible. You don't need to do that. If you want to have in

need to do that. If you want to have in immunity is different than

immunity is different than invincibility.

invincibility. Invincibility as a business owner is

Invincibility as a business owner is like, how do I make sure that no matter

like, how do I make sure that no matter what happens,

what happens, this negative situation does not come at

this negative situation does not come at me? Immunity is about where regardless

me? Immunity is about where regardless if the situation happens or not, I'm

if the situation happens or not, I'm immune to it. I have anti-fragility.

immune to it. I have anti-fragility. Mhm. Through the Holy Spirit.

Mhm. Through the Holy Spirit. Are we good? Mhm. Make sense? The only

Are we good? Mhm. Make sense? The only thing that crossed my mind was the idea

thing that crossed my mind was the idea of like uh demons being named was

of like uh demons being named was actually from Jewish culture if I'm not

actually from Jewish culture if I'm not mistaken. Yeah. Jewish culture has

mistaken. Yeah. Jewish culture has served us really well. Right.

Well, I know Jesus asked the name of the demon and he said legion cuz we're many

demon and he said legion cuz we're many and then he cast it out. So I just that

and then he cast it out. So I just that hasn't run through my algorithm yet as

hasn't run through my algorithm yet as being unbiblical completely. But the

being unbiblical completely. But the obsession Legion is not a name. Huh?

obsession Legion is not a name. Huh? Legion is not a name. Gotcha.

Legion is not a name. Gotcha. It's like what's your name? Many names.

It's like what's your name? Many names. They cast it out without knowing the

They cast it out without knowing the names. Gotcha. This is not a name. I got

names. Gotcha. This is not a name. I got the point you were making. I was just

the point you were making. I was just looking at the nuance for you. It was

looking at the nuance for you. It was more Jewish mysticism more than Jewish

more Jewish mysticism more than Jewish culture. Like if you had somebody's

culture. Like if you had somebody's name, you had control right over them.

name, you had control right over them. Which is why they kept on trying to say

Which is why they kept on trying to say the son of man's here. Shut up. You know

the son of man's here. Shut up. You know where else it comes from? Greek

where else it comes from? Greek mythology. So, it's just as pagan as

mythology. So, it's just as pagan as everything else. Mhm. We don't have we

everything else. Mhm. We don't have we don't have a scriptural antidote for

don't have a scriptural antidote for like you have to here's the steps to

like you have to here's the steps to cast out a demon. You have to ask it its

cast out a demon. You have to ask it its name so you know its name first. It'll

name so you know its name first. It'll lie to you. It'll tell you it's not the

lie to you. It'll tell you it's not the name that it is. It's it's not you don't

name that it is. It's it's not you don't need to know their names.

need to know their names. Nice. Do you want to We can We can fact

Nice. Do you want to We can We can fact check this if we need to. No, we're

check this if we need to. No, we're good. You need to be hot. You just need

good. You need to be hot. You just need to be hot. Yep. And hot is an issue of

to be hot. Yep. And hot is an issue of proximity. Where you coming from? If

proximity. Where you coming from? If you're coming out of a fiery furnace

you're coming out of a fiery furnace called the name of Elshadai, that you

called the name of Elshadai, that you don't need to know its name. It doesn't

don't need to know its name. It doesn't want to be around you. It's going to

want to be around you. It's going to probably just disappear and go somewhere

probably just disappear and go somewhere else,

else, right? Yep. 100%. in the middle when

right? Yep. 100%. in the middle when your life starts to reveal your

your life starts to reveal your triggers, we have to have the resilience

triggers, we have to have the resilience to hang on to God and hang on to God's

to hang on to God and hang on to God's promises in the midst of conflicting

promises in the midst of conflicting circumstances.

circumstances. And this is where I think most people

And this is where I think most people that are like us probably get messed up

that are like us probably get messed up because they'll hear an episode like

because they'll hear an episode like this and you're like, "This sounds

this and you're like, "This sounds amazing. I feel rejuvenated. I want to

amazing. I feel rejuvenated. I want to go pray." Okay, cool. Mhm. Then in 2

go pray." Okay, cool. Mhm. Then in 2 weeks

weeks a big contract cancels and you don't

a big contract cancels and you don't know why God didn't fix it for you.

know why God didn't fix it for you. Why doesn't

Why doesn't prayer work?

prayer work? Why am I doing the right things and I'm

Why am I doing the right things and I'm not getting the right results?

not getting the right results? Why would God be loving and let my

Why would God be loving and let my daughter

daughter go through this?

go through this? And we can't hang on in the middle.

And we can't hang on in the middle. And this is where a lot of modern-day

And this is where a lot of modern-day trauma comes from is I trusted this

trauma comes from is I trusted this thing and it didn't work and so

thing and it didn't work and so therefore all of it's bad. I can't ever

therefore all of it's bad. I can't ever trust it again. Yeah. Yeah. And like I

trust it again. Yeah. Yeah. And like I was cheated on and so therefore I can

was cheated on and so therefore I can never trust another person again and it

never trust another person again and it works its way through associations into

works its way through associations into our physiology into our brain chemistry

our physiology into our brain chemistry and then we never make it to verse 10.

and then we never make it to verse 10. So if if Psalms 91 is a is a life map,

So if if Psalms 91 is a is a life map, we like make it to verse 5 and 6, but we

we like make it to verse 5 and 6, but we never make it to verse 10. And

never make it to verse 10. And therefore, Christians have no power.

therefore, Christians have no power. They can sort of hang on in the midst of

They can sort of hang on in the midst of something for a little bit. But the

something for a little bit. But the enemy knows that if it just lasts

enemy knows that if it just lasts another three weeks,

another three weeks, they're letting go.

they're letting go. Imagine if you are

Imagine if you are surrounding a a nation and you're going

surrounding a a nation and you're going to cut off their resources and you know

to cut off their resources and you know down to the science like if we stay here

down to the science like if we stay here for 90 days, they'll surrender. Well,

for 90 days, they'll surrender. Well, nothing's going to pull you off that 90

nothing's going to pull you off that 90 days.

days. But then once day 91 comes and goes and

But then once day 91 comes and goes and there's no surrender.

there's no surrender. And then day 98, that encroaching

And then day 98, that encroaching military starts to rethink

military starts to rethink their strategy and what they're doing.

their strategy and what they're doing. And then they start worrying about their

And then they start worrying about their own resources

own resources because they're in a foreign territory.

because they're in a foreign territory. And then day 120 comes around and

And then day 120 comes around and they're like, "We're going to have to

they're like, "We're going to have to pull off of this thing." And we have

pull off of this thing." And we have that as a microcosm for the for the

that as a microcosm for the for the kingdom because when you read John 15,

kingdom because when you read John 15, you can never be surrounded in a way

you can never be surrounded in a way that cuts off your resources.

that cuts off your resources. But the enemy thinks that if he can just

But the enemy thinks that if he can just make your situation last another year,

make your situation last another year, you're out.

you're out. He doesn't learn the right lessons.

He doesn't learn the right lessons. You think he would have learned from

You think he would have learned from Job? He doesn't. If something works 98%

Job? He doesn't. If something works 98% of the time, he just is going to keep

of the time, he just is going to keep doing it. So, we have to hang on in the

doing it. So, we have to hang on in the middle of verse 5 and 6 for us to get to

middle of verse 5 and 6 for us to get to verse 10.

verse 10. And if we can do this, it may take a

And if we can do this, it may take a year. It may take 6 months. For me, it

year. It may take 6 months. For me, it was about 2 and 1/2 years. I'm going to

was about 2 and 1/2 years. I'm going to have to hang on to this because my life

have to hang on to this because my life looks really bad right now. And the

looks really bad right now. And the circumstances don't look great. And I'm

circumstances don't look great. And I'm triggered every freaking day. But I've

triggered every freaking day. But I've got to go back and I've got to read the

got to go back and I've got to read the scripture. I've got to memorize the

scripture. I've got to memorize the scripture. I've got to talk to Holy

scripture. I've got to talk to Holy Spirit. So, I've got to hang on to this.

Spirit. So, I've got to hang on to this. And then it gets into like unfamiliar

And then it gets into like unfamiliar territory for the kingdom of darkness

territory for the kingdom of darkness because they don't know what the freak

because they don't know what the freak happened to you. But you're not quitting

happened to you. But you're not quitting and they're running out of resources.

and they're running out of resources. This is warfare.

This is warfare. This is spiritual warfare. And then when

This is spiritual warfare. And then when you get into verse 9 and 10, it starts

you get into verse 9 and 10, it starts becoming a penalty for the kingdom of

becoming a penalty for the kingdom of darkness to stay operant in your life.

darkness to stay operant in your life. It says, "Not only will evil not be able

It says, "Not only will evil not be able to reach you, it won't even be permitted

to reach you, it won't even be permitted near your dwelling." This is what the

near your dwelling." This is what the Bible says. Evil will not even be able

Bible says. Evil will not even be able to come near your dwelling. Your entire

to come near your dwelling. Your entire house, estate, calling is wrapped in a

house, estate, calling is wrapped in a perimeter of divine immunity. And so we

perimeter of divine immunity. And so we clean out what we're relying on.

clean out what we're relying on. we plug it back into the right source

we plug it back into the right source and then every every mission that's

and then every every mission that's being released in the spirit against

being released in the spirit against you, they're just wasting resources and

you, they're just wasting resources and they eventually will close up and move

they eventually will close up and move on to someone else. Does this make

on to someone else. Does this make sense? This timeline here. Mhm. And so

sense? This timeline here. Mhm. And so what we have to pray through sometimes a

what we have to pray through sometimes a beautiful prayer is just God, would you

beautiful prayer is just God, would you give me enough energy to make it through

give me enough energy to make it through today?

today? Plug me into the to the source. John 15.

Plug me into the to the source. John 15. That's all I need. I need resources from

That's all I need. I need resources from John 15. Not just money. I need you to

John 15. Not just money. I need you to keep me going energetically cuz my brain

keep me going energetically cuz my brain is fractured. I'm about to unravel. The

is fractured. I'm about to unravel. The first thing that Satan tested Jesus with

first thing that Satan tested Jesus with was self-reliance.

was self-reliance. Can you protect yourself and can you get

Can you protect yourself and can you get this rock to turn into a piece of bread?

this rock to turn into a piece of bread? What's your source? What are you going

What's your source? What are you going to depend on? And then the second thing

to depend on? And then the second thing which is like the first was prove it.

which is like the first was prove it. Prove it. The Bible says that God gives

Prove it. The Bible says that God gives he's calling back to Psalm 91 actually.

he's calling back to Psalm 91 actually. And the first one is Deuteronomy where

And the first one is Deuteronomy where it's God's talking to Moses about mana

it's God's talking to Moses about mana and like you don't just live off of

and like you don't just live off of bread but every word. That's a direct

bread but every word. That's a direct quote from Deuteronomy. The second one

quote from Deuteronomy. The second one is a quote from Psalms 91.

is a quote from Psalms 91. If the angels are actually called to

If the angels are actually called to protect you, prove it. Test it.

If God says something, we're not we're not testing that protection to prove

not testing that protection to prove that it's real to cover up our own

that it's real to cover up our own doubt. We just trust it and we let it

doubt. We just trust it and we let it operate and we hang on to the promises

operate and we hang on to the promises of God. So in verse 10, things flip and

of God. So in verse 10, things flip and they become territorial. So you have

they become territorial. So you have personal alignment. Where do you dwell?

personal alignment. Where do you dwell? Then you have environmental immunity,

Then you have environmental immunity, which is personal and what whatever's

which is personal and what whatever's around you. Then you have territorial

around you. Then you have territorial coverage. just goes boom boom boom. It

coverage. just goes boom boom boom. It gets bigger. You're going to be in the

gets bigger. You're going to be in the presence of God. Therefore, you are

presence of God. Therefore, you are going to be okay. Therefore, if you hang

going to be okay. Therefore, if you hang on long enough, your entire territory

on long enough, your entire territory becomes okay. Wherever you walk, if you

becomes okay. Wherever you walk, if you step into a building,

step into a building, everything is kicked out of that

everything is kicked out of that building. You have a territorial

building. You have a territorial coverage over that building. These are

coverage over that building. These are the mighty warriors of God. These are

the mighty warriors of God. These are the people with rank in the spirit. This

the people with rank in the spirit. This is like when you get when you get on the

is like when you get when you get on the phone with Apostle, my room changes.

phone with Apostle, my room changes. She's got rank. It doesn't require her

She's got rank. It doesn't require her to even be in the same proximity. If her

to even be in the same proximity. If her voice is coming through, the room's

voice is coming through, the room's heating up. Things don't want to be

heating up. Things don't want to be there. You want to get to this place.

there. You want to get to this place. How do you do that? You go through

How do you do that? You go through collapse. You hang on in the middle. You

collapse. You hang on in the middle. You let God clean out your triggers and

let God clean out your triggers and realign you with the right things. And

realign you with the right things. And then you use the scripture to feed

then you use the scripture to feed yourself. Um, two of the verses that I

yourself. Um, two of the verses that I started speaking over myself during a

started speaking over myself during a difficult season. In Isaiah 32:18, I'll

difficult season. In Isaiah 32:18, I'll say, "I'll dwell in peace, and every

say, "I'll dwell in peace, and every every place that I go will become a

every place that I go will become a resting place." This is from Isaiah. It

resting place." This is from Isaiah. It says, "My people will dwell in a

says, "My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation and secure dwellings

peaceful habitation and secure dwellings and quiet resting places. If I'm here,

and quiet resting places. If I'm here, it's a resting place.

it's a resting place. I'm going to eat that. That's food for

I'm going to eat that. That's food for me." Mhm. Job 5:24, "I will find my life

me." Mhm. Job 5:24, "I will find my life lacking nothing. There will be no

lacking nothing. There will be no blindsides."

blindsides." You know what a blind sight is? If

You know what a blind sight is? If you're blindsided by something, Mhm.

you're blindsided by something, Mhm. Job 5:24, you shall know that your tent

Job 5:24, you shall know that your tent is at peace, and you shall inspect your

is at peace, and you shall inspect your fold and miss nothing. I want my optics

fold and miss nothing. I want my optics to be aligned with the optics of of the

to be aligned with the optics of of the eyes of the Holy Spirit. So, I'm going

eyes of the Holy Spirit. So, I'm going to speak these things over myself. Peace

to speak these things over myself. Peace is not a thing that we receive. It's a

is not a thing that we receive. It's a thing that we speak and inject into our

thing that we speak and inject into our situation, into our circumstances. But

situation, into our circumstances. But to to inject peace into a circumstance,

to to inject peace into a circumstance, we have to first make sure that we have

we have to first make sure that we have peace for ourselves, which comes from

peace for ourselves, which comes from our source. where we're getting our

our source. where we're getting our peace from is the the main branch. Make

peace from is the the main branch. Make sense? You good? And you want to rap?

sense? You good? And you want to rap? I'm ready to wrap. If you are, let's

I'm ready to wrap. If you are, let's keep going. God, we love you. Thank you

keep going. God, we love you. Thank you for everything you've done for us. Thank

for everything you've done for us. Thank you for the peace of the Holy Spirit.

you for the peace of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for the peace that

Thank you for the peace that doesn't require an intellectual

doesn't require an intellectual interpretation. We don't have to know

interpretation. We don't have to know why. We just have to know that we have

why. We just have to know that we have it because you've given it to us. And I

it because you've given it to us. And I pray that you would give people

pray that you would give people listening to this audio or video the

listening to this audio or video the mind of Christ. that they would to be

mind of Christ. that they would to be able to have divine optics into what you

able to have divine optics into what you were doing on the earth specifically in

were doing on the earth specifically in their sphere of influence. We release

their sphere of influence. We release the things that we have allowed to

the things that we have allowed to become idolatrous in our lives. An idol

become idolatrous in our lives. An idol does not just mean that we want to have

does not just mean that we want to have it. There are idols in people's lives

it. There are idols in people's lives because they've become too important.

because they've become too important. past betrayals, traumas, situations that

past betrayals, traumas, situations that have hurt us and we have made them idols

have hurt us and we have made them idols because we are so worried about them

because we are so worried about them happening again that they've replaced

happening again that they've replaced the certainty we have and the trust and

the certainty we have and the trust and that we have in the Holy Spirit with the

that we have in the Holy Spirit with the expectation that it's going to happen

expectation that it's going to happen again. We want to be clean. Would you

again. We want to be clean. Would you clean us out? Would you give our minds

clean us out? Would you give our minds uh a complete treatment so that we would

uh a complete treatment so that we would be aligned with the mind of Christ? That

be aligned with the mind of Christ? That we would know the word and speak the

we would know the word and speak the word and believe the word and receive

word and believe the word and receive nutrients from the word of God. We speak

nutrients from the word of God. We speak against any uh demonic infrastructures

against any uh demonic infrastructures that have been placed in people's lives

that have been placed in people's lives from an early age. I pray that you would

from an early age. I pray that you would reveal them and I pray that you would

reveal them and I pray that you would draw people closer to you because it's

draw people closer to you because it's not always about knowing what's out

not always about knowing what's out there. Sometimes it's just about

there. Sometimes it's just about changing your home address to align with

changing your home address to align with the secret place. And we push into

the secret place. And we push into knowing you more and being closer to

knowing you more and being closer to you. Regardless of what's happening in

you. Regardless of what's happening in the world, regardless of what's

the world, regardless of what's happening in our businesses, we know

happening in our businesses, we know that you have promised us things that we

that you have promised us things that we will hang on to them for as long as it

will hang on to them for as long as it takes. We will never leave. It doesn't

takes. We will never leave. It doesn't matter how difficult things become, we

matter how difficult things become, we will never leave. You can trust us that

will never leave. You can trust us that we want you more than anything you could

we want you more than anything you could possibly give us. We love you, Jesus.

possibly give us. We love you, Jesus. Thank you for your name. Thank you for

Thank you for your name. Thank you for your power. Thank you for your healing.

your power. Thank you for your healing. Amen.

Amen. See you guys next

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The Cycle of Trauma PT II (triggers, biases, association, & fake solutions)