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Kevin Gates | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #593

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We're getting into the final shows for

the return of the rat tour. Gosh, this

rat is almost fully returned. Um July

9th, we'll be in Philadelphia, Rochester,

Rochester,

uh New York on July 10th. Then we're in

Detroit after that. Uh moving on, we're

in Los Angeles, Anaheim, uh at the Honda

Center in Oceanside, California. Uh you

and uh just thank you so much uh for

your support. Today's guest is a

musician out of Baton Rou

out the boot. He crosses many genres

like rap, R&B, soul. He does it all.

This dog, he a 101. He a 101.

He's got a new album on the way, Luca

Brassi 4, and he's heading out on a huge

tour this October. I'm grateful to sit

down with my Louisiana amigo, Mr. Kevin Gates.

[Music]

Yeah, that's tough, man. Yeah, I got

this from uh I collect these kind of

hats. I bought two of them this time because

because

I put dents in them. Really? Every time

I travel. What? Just traveling, setting

it somewhere. Yeah. And they get

smooshed every time. Yeah. Yeah. A hat

is kind of hard to take care of. That's

the only thing I don't love about a hat.

Like if I'm on a plane, I'll put it and

then I'll take a nap. It'll fall off the

seat or something. Every time. Um yeah,

you look sharp, man. Thank you.

Recently, I started feeling in my own

life, man. I wish that I dressed up a

little bit more.

I just It's like how you do anything is

how you do everything. So I'm like I

prepare to for something great to

happen. Every time I leave the house, I

prepare for something great to happen.

Like even when I go to the gym, I

prepare for something great to happen.

Yeah, that's an energy. I think I just

started thinking that like, yeah, I want

to I want to just because then I want to

be excited about how I even look, you

know? Like I never I mean I only got

Well, I got multiple suits, but I only

got like four color that I wear. I got a

gray suit, got like three or four of

them, got like three or four black

suits, got like three or four navy

suits, and I got like three or four.

They like different shades, so I'd say

like a tan and a darker tan. You like

them? Yeah. I I just love suits. I love

them. They look fly. You've always been

pretty stylish, actually. I remember you

and I went to a Super Bowl together. I

don't know if you remembered it or not.

Yeah, that's when I had the turtleneck

on with the slack. Yeah. That's when I

realized I was like, "Oh, Kevin's doing

something different." Because you hear

rumors about Kevin. You hear people

like, "Kevin, you know, Kevin." Yeah.

He's staring at the moon. Kevin out

there. He, you know, he he hiding in the

tree branches and stuff. You hear a lot

of rumors like that, you know, like

shooting my bow and arrow. I do that a

lot. He's out there. He babysitting bats

or something. Oh, excuse me. Shout out

to Mike at uh at Cabelas. He's your guy?

Yeah. He the one who um he he he dialed

my bow and arrow in for me. like dialed

it in like set the sights on it for me.

I haven't used one. But yeah, you hear

everything about that. Kevin Gates, he's

out there. He breastfeeding pelicans and

stuff like that. You hear a lot of the

mystery, right? The lore. And I love the

lore cuz it makes things really it's

like advertising without you really

doing anything in a way except being

yourself. But I remember we were on a

like a limo bus. They were taking us to

the Super Bowl. Everybody's on their

phones and something like that. Kevin

just sitting there just look you look

like the happiest guy in the thing. It's

um it's this thing I do called breath

work and

I think I said it one time in another

interview but like I'm super into like

Navy Seals and [ __ ] I like watch

don't don't don't think I'm weird, but I

am. Oh yeah. I just sit there and watch

like videos of like the training that

they do and I watch people take the Navy

Seal test and fail and then try to come

back and do it. And I just watch that

[ __ ] and I'll be watching like David

Gogggins and and [ __ ] like that. And

it's like, you know, the first thing

they teach them how to do is breathe. So

that's why I be doing the box breathing

and it really help with anxiety. Explain

it to me. You you inhale for 4 seconds.

It's like you pretend like you're

looking at a box. You inhale for 4

seconds, you hold it, you exhale for 4

seconds, and then you hold it. And it

keep you super calm. H. And does it get

a little scary? At certain points are

hard to remember. I guess you just get

used to the pattern. If it if it if you

ever get off, you just reconnect to your

breath cuz you going to talk, you going

to interrupt yourself, but then you

reconnect to your breath and it keep you

calm like no anxiety. Yeah. Oh yeah. I

get I get rattled pretty easy and I'm an

overinker. Like especially if I'm about

to go somewhere like I put

unrealistic expectations on myself about

the outcome. Yeah. And we say that we

and I might say that I'm going in there

with a positive attitude, but Oh, I want

to know everything. I want to know how

it's going to go. I want to be able to

like make sure I'm okay no matter what's

going on. I knew this [ __ ] was going to

be cool cuz I was already around you at

the Super Bowl. I like, man, that dude crazy.

crazy.

Oh, I don't think anybody could out

crazy you at this point, Kevin. You done

lost. I say, man, that dude. You lost

everybody, man. Second's a little hot.

Yeah, it's going to be a little hot. And

you can maybe scooch to your left just a

little bit. Do we have any ice? We don't

have any. I don't need no ice. I'm good.

Okay. I like I was kind of nervous to

talk to you cuz I I've known of you. You

know, I'm from Louisiana, so I known

about you like Louisiana bread. Even

growing up, I remember the first time I

ever heard about you, some this girl I

was talking to from Bogaloosa was like,

"Have you heard of Kevin Gates?" And I

thought it was a subdivision.

And it is. It is really

damn I didn't know. Like it is now Kevin

Gates. Damn. I said, "I don't know. I

don't know. You know, I got a friend

that lives in Meadow Brook or whatever,

but I never been over there." And she's

like, "No, you have to hear some of what

this guy's doing." And it was intense.

It remind the first time I listened to

your music, it reminded me the first

time I saw UFC, I was like some of this

stuff is a little too hard for me, you

know, a cuz it's you your stuff is very

it's not all of it, but some of it's a

it's graphic. It is real. It's very

really is really raw. That's my

perception of it. Um but so that's how I

got introduced to you obviously was just

from being in Louisiana. Um do you miss

those days in Louisiana coming up? What

was that like for you just kind of

coming up when you look back on it now?

I'm grateful for Louisiana because it

made me everything that I am right now. And

And

the things that we cherish, other people

don't really cherish when you go other

places. And then with us having that

southern hospitality like yes sir, no

sir, don't call me that. You make me

feel old when you go other places. But

we used to catch whoopings for not

saying yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no

ma'am. Yeah. You know, I have been beat

with extension cords and whatever they

could find. Yeah. Oh yeah. Go get a

branch off the tree. Go get something.

Oh, dude. My mother would beat me with

my younger siblings. She would I like

god damn both of us getting it. Grab

them by the ankle. Yeah. Like, damn.

What? Um, what was what were some of

like Did you ever did you get to work

with other artists? I know people ask

you that kind of stuff all the time, but

growing up like when I was coming up,

they had like uh Mr. P uh Master P,

Mystical. Um, me and Master P did a song

together and I didn't done I didn't work

with Wayne. We talking about only

Louisiana. Yeah. I'm just talking about

kind of that that time. I work with Lil

Wayne. I didn't work with Master P. Um,

if you want to go currently, I didn't

work with Fredo Bang. NBA Young Boy

Tech. Um, oh yeah, I heard that song you

got with Young Boy. I just heard it the

other day. I Who you say I am? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They had I'm trying to

think. Oh, Partners in Crime. Remember

them? Yeah. It's that new Mr. I mean, I

wet that. I can't go. Dude, they had

Partners in Crime. UNLV. Oh, was that

UNLV? Pump the Pump the Party. UNLV.

They had um I'm trying to think of who

else we Oh, Mystical was the bet.

Mystical was great, bro. I like that

[ __ ] I want that boot camp. Danger.

Yeah, I like that. B me again. He kind

of had his own thing and he had those

horns in it. Yeah. If we going that way,

I like Fiend, Mr. Magic. I liked all I

liked everything that was coming out.

Oh, you got to say Soldier Slim. Oh

yeah. You got to say Soldier Slay. I

didn't I don't Somebody didn't put me on

to a lot of Soldier Sled. You got to say

Stone and Le. You got to say the D Boys.

You got to say all of them. I think some

of that I didn't get put on then. Yeah.

But I love Dude, that was a special

time. I felt like in Louisiana because

every all there was so many eyes were

focused on it. They had like just so

much sound coming out of there. Still

do. Yeah. The sound different. Oh yeah.

Well, things have changed so much. But

at that time, I just felt like I don't

know, there was something really

spectacular about it at that time. We

still got our own signature song.

Louisiana, like that's where the flavor

at. Like you get a you get a a container

of juice and you sit it on the table,

the flavor falls to the bottom. You have

to shake it up for the flavor to go to

the top. Yeah. The flavor always stays

at the bottom. Yeah. The bottom of the

map. That's it. The bottom of the map,

man. The bottom of the boot. Yeah, dude.

I love that time. That was a special

time growing up, man. What was the

styles that y'all had? And Arcte and Cuz

in Coington, we had like Jabbo jeans,

polo with the big horse. Remember,

people will wear that sometimes. He

figure I went polo crazy. I went polo

crazy. I could see that. I went polo

crazy. I can see that. Dead caps,

college, jab, jabos. Um, I did Air Force

Ones, but my thing was the Adidas Stan

Smiths. Oh yeah, I did the Adidas Stan

Smiths. I almost wore those today. All

day I dream about steaks. Yeah, dude. It

was some that was a great time, bro. I

mean, it's all times are great, but that

was a special time. It's just something

you and I could, you know, we both have

a little bit of similarity of that.

Yeah, I was born in ' 86, so Yeah,

you're younger than me. What would you

ever get to see Mystical around the way

or No. Uhuh. I seen him a few times when

he was out of prison, but I haven't seen

him since then. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying

to think of I remember we go to the rec

center over at BR uh Baton Rouge by LSU.

Yeah. and uh Master P and his they would

be in there playing ball uh with like

Silk. Not I don't know if C murder might

have been in and out of there, but they

definitely had Silk was in there. Yeah,

Silk stay out here now. Does he? Yeah, I

be seeing him at 24 24-hour fitness.

Let's go. Every now and then when I used

to go there. Yeah, to see him in that

hooping. Still hooping. Yeah, that was a

special time though, man. That was a big

like explosion for I felt like uh for

Louisiana rap. Um, when you think of

like I know you there was a lot of

hustling and stuff when you grew up.

What do you what was it like like the

hustle? Like what when people say I had

to hustle a lot when I was young like

what does that mean exactly? Hustle.

Yeah, I know what it means like you have

to grind. You got to stay busy. You got

to figure things out. You got to be

locked in and you got to be focused.

Whatever your hustle is, you got to give

it 110%. Cuz being from Louisiana ain't

really nothing to do but die, go to

jail. Yeah. So whatever it is that you

focus on, you got to be locked in. Like

juvenile say, we snatched all the holes

and bowls and retennies. We didn't give

a [ __ ] if we ball for three minutes.

I might have said it backwards. That's

Look, man, we we can edit it into the

correct format. Um, what was your what

was some of your hustles as a youngster?

What kind of hustling did you have to do

personally? I started off washing

clothes. Yeah. What? Just like in the

yard, you to put up a sign or you get

like a Uh-uh. I started off working at

um they got a they got a car wash on

corset and that was my first job washing

cars with that like they had an inside

and outside. Yeah, inside and outside. I

started on a vacuum. Yeah. And then I

start being like once it come through

the washer you dry it off and that's how

I learned how to get the fender well get

the fender wells and the door jambs

last. Oh yeah. Why? Because that's where

all the dirt at. So if you drying the

car, you got to dry the body of the car

first. Then you go back and get the fend

go back and get the door jambs and the

fender wells last. That's where all the

dirt at. Cuz otherwise you're going to

get the rag dirty and put it everywhere.

You going to put dirt on the Yeah. Yeah.

And then even when you And then even

when you wipe the rims, you hold a towel

and wipe the rims. You spray the You

spray the tie off, but you hold the tile

and wipe the rims on the inside. Clean

them real good. Yeah. And the best thing

to clean windows, I mean the wipe

windows with is newspaper. Oh yeah. No

streaks. Yeah. Why was that? I wonder. I

don't know. I know it don't leave no

streaks. Make it look good. Yeah. That

was nice, dude. Yeah. When I was growing

up, washing your car was one of the It

was one of the best things you could do.

Of course. Could you lead that thing

felt beautiful, boy? That was your That

was your That was your office. Yeah.

That was your That was your escape.

Ain't nothing like a little late night

ride. Waffle House. Yeah. Uhhuh. Dude, I

remember exactly if I lit if I lit a

cigarette at this one point right when I

take off out of work, it would get me

all the way home. I pull up right into

the driveway when that cigarette was

done. It was like this perfect kind of

like kind of seance that I had in my

life. I love that. That was your first

car? My first car was an 84 Ford Escort.

That [ __ ] was chill. But somebody My

first car was a Nissan Sentra. Yeah.

Really? What year was it? I don't know.

The old one. the old old one. Pull pull

one up. Just pull up a uh pull up a the

tan one. Pull up pull up pull up pull up

a 1990. Let's see what they got. Let's

see if we close on it.

That Nissan I was a little newer than

that. Nuhuh. Yeah, that's a little too

old. Pull up a uh pull up a 2001.

That's it right there. Oh yeah, that

[ __ ] tasted boy. God.

And so so your first hustle was car

washing and did you get into stuff in

the streets? Did you get into stuff that

was kind of illegal type of stuff or No.

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Not nothing

major, but a little bit. I did a list of

them. Yeah. Was it does it feel like if

you grow up in certain areas that you

have to do that?

You going to want to. Them the only

people getting money, right? That's who

the girls like. Yeah.

Oh yeah. That girl's like somebody got a

little bit of cash. Like like I remember

telling uh Gilly and Wow, I was like,

"Man, when I was young, I remember all I

wanted was a car, some money, a

girlfriend, and a gun." Yeah. Cuz that's

all you see. Oh yeah. Yeah. I got to

pull out a bankroll. That was just, you

know, just to show it off. Then they

start then they start calling it racks.

Yeah. Yeah. We got racks. It was It went

from stacks to racks.

Yeah, I think the name the Do you think

like like over the years you hear like

things have changed like the hood, the

block, uh the trenches, the mud? Like it

all there's always kind of this

evolution of the name. I feel like I

mean we always I call it the section.

Yeah. They from the section. They from

our section. Yeah. Are they from out the

section? Yeah. Like if somebody if if

you from my section or you from my area

where I'm at at the time and I'm oh yeah

he from out the section right or I'mma

ask who or say I'm just coming home from

jail and I see new faces like who that

is they from out the section. Yeah

that's such and such people or that's

such and such people. You know what I'm

saying? Yeah. Do you feel like do you

have to live in fear like in like in the

section do you feel like in a black area

do you have to live in fear? Did it feel

like No, cuz it's

anything that you do every day is going

to feel regular to you. You know,

anything that is new to you. Say if it's

new, if it's new, okay, you going to be

a little apprehensive. You know what I'm

saying? So, you going to have to sit

back, scope it out, and then you fall

in. You know, you in the mix now. But if

you grew up in them type of

environments, it ain't going to feel

like somewhat dangerous. It's going to

feel like home. Oh, yeah. So whatever go

on, it just went on, right? You don't

know any, but from the outside looking

in, it's like, oh god, it's so horrible

there. But when you in it, it's like,

man, that's my people. This my auntie,

this my cousin, this, you know, this is

the culture. Yeah. It's like, right, a

fish don't know it's in water really.

It's family. You know what I'm saying?

Do you think because you always hear

over the years, you hear like we got to

change these areas, right? You hear like

you'll have people, we got to make

things safer. you got to change these

areas. Um do you think that the people

actually in those communities do you

think they really want those communities

to change or that is if given the

opportunity does the question make any

sense to you or no it make a lot if

given the opportunity anybody would do

better right people do a man uh yeah

this a wise quote a man is what he know

not what he's told

and I'll say it in like uh vernacular a

man is what he knows and not what he's

told you are what you know, not what you

told. You are what you do, not what you

say you'll do. So, I could sit around

and somebody could tell me, man, you

know what? You should change and you

should do this and there's so many other

opportunities, but if I never been

exposed to these opportunities, all I

know is what I know, right? And that's

like that's what recidivism, that's

people that repeat offenders, habitual

offenders, because it's recidivism

because they don't know anything but

what they know. And I was like that. I

was locked in, focused on one thing till

I started experiencing other things and

I broadened my horizon. I opened my

mind. Yeah. Oh, I've I've watched a lot

of uh interviews with you, man, and a

lot of it's been really fascinating,

man. I feel really thankful that you're

here today. took a uh ambient. I just I

just read about a um I just read about

Lagouna Beach like

this was in 200

maybe 10. Yeah. Or 11 cuz I read a lot

of like vampire novels and all of that.

Oh damn. Yeah. Like I'm a I read a lot.

I'm a record of reader. So it's this was

like way in 20 maybe 10 or 11 that I

read a book. When I was reading the

book, they was talking about going to

Lagouna Beach. Last weekend, I just took

my son to Lagona Beach for his birthday.

So, it was like a kind of like a bucket

list. Not a bucket list, but I was like,

it'll be cool to go there. Like even

like with Palm Springs, I read about

Palm Springs before and I just passed

through Palm Springs and they had

vampires that were there and the uh

Relle me got this vampire academy and

one of the schools that they went to was

in Palm Springs. Damn, boy. They said

probably older gay vampires probably

over there. I don't know. But it was so

crazy that you say that. It's because

when you given the opportunity to do

better, you will. If you never given

that opportunity, you're not going to do

better. We could say, "Yeah, you just

got to overcome and stay focused and

lock in." I think me, the beautiful

thing about Kevin Casease is I have a

very adventurous spirit and I'mma try

something. Like I I love to try new

things cuz it's how you create new

neuropaths. Like even if you even if you

did it and you didn't like it, you still

had the experience. So you created like

new neuropaths cuz if you do the the

same thing every day, you become

stagnant in the mind. You just Yeah. You

become a robot. You become a culde-sac

too. Your own culde-sac. Yeah. Like

that's like that's my biggest fear is

being complacent. I don't ever want to

get stuck. So I did that. I went to the

beach and it was like it unlocked a few

things for me. It was like we just took

a road trip. It was nothing but like 2

hours, but we did it. We did it. Yeah.

We did something different. We did

something different. Yeah. Cuz I wonder

sometimes like cuz you always like, you

know, like a lot of neighborhoods,

especially if it's like impoverished

neighborhoods, you know, they say that

type of thing. Predominantly black and

predominantly black neighborhoods. It's

like it's also those neighborhoods that

give a lot of the culture its flavor and

give it its story, right?

or some of its story, right? People say

like, "I came out of this. I came

through this." Right? So sometimes I

just wonder like it's a it's a bless.

It's the people that are blessed. I say

that because you're looking at people

that grew up in hardship and the

roughest conditions ever. But we made

the best of what we had. And we didn't

even know we was poor till we saw rich

people. Yeah. That's like when you go to

other countries, third world countries,

they don't even know they poor till they

see people with more than what they

have. Like I was telling somebody one

time, we just wanted a car and then once

we saw the Bentley, we wanted the

Bentley and then we wanted this and we

wanted that because we saw it. But to

answer your question about the people

that come through that, I believe it's a

right of passage. It's like a It's like a

It's like the movie Leonitis when the

boy went off into the wilderness and he

came back a man. Like we don't have no

father figures or none of that in the

house. We come from mostly single mother

or your mom at work, your grandmother

raised you, things of that nature. And

we had to go out there and just find our

way. So it was like a right of passage.

And the beautiful thing about me is I

had beautiful people in my life that

kind of helped guide me and lead me and

steer me in the right direction. Yeah, I

made mistakes. I bumped my head and I

appreciate every one of them cuz they

made me this. But to answer that

question, it's I look at it more like a

right of passage.

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Thank you.

But a lot of time when we be having like

our our body just really needs salt.

Yeah. We be dehydrated. You know, I

noticed that happens more often. I feel

like when I was a kid, you didn't hear

anybody talk about dehydration and now I

feel like people talk about it every day

cuz we ate salt. We cooked with

seasoning. Louisiana seasoning. That's a

good point. People ask, you don't hear

people down there talking about you

dehydrated, you eat a pickle.

Country boy can't survive. Yeah, bro.

That was it. Country boy can't survive.

That's a good point. Everybody had gout,

too. Everybody had sugar pressure, gout,

salt pressure, everything. Country boy

can't survive. Everything. That was it.

Um, you were a practicing Muslim. Yeah,

I'm a Muslim. Nice. It's nice to see you

today. Um I Oh, like you talking about

what I got on? No, I think you Oh, no.

This ain't got No, it doesn't look like

my bad. [Laughter]

[Laughter]

No, cuz I got the bow tie.

I'm so not sorry. Please forgive me.

Nuhuh. I didn't know what did you mean

because you thought cuz I thought the

bow tie

cuz the irony it's ironic that I got the

bow tie on you. I'm not that kind. But

um Dave Chappelle said I'm not good at

it, but you know I I do the best I do

the best I can. You know. No, I didn't

know. I thought No, I feel like

I didn't know what I thought. I just

felt like, "Dang, Kevin." Yeah. I

thought you just seem like a uh It's

okay. Okay. It's okay. Dang, that's

hilarious. It was just funny cuz I I had

to That's one thing I like like I

possessed the ability to laugh at

myself. And once I developed the ability

to laugh at myself, life became so much

more easier. Like if I if I slip and

fall Yeah. Like every time we step

outside, we being judged. Mhm. You know,

if you went to school and you had to Oh,

God. I got to say it. I got not to get

off subject. I used to hate free dress

day at school. Uniform saved my life.

Really? Yeah. But why you couldn't

handle it? Sh. I ain't had no clothes.

Oh, damn.

Yeah. You just wore a uniform again like

Kevin, man. for free dress day. I wore

my mama I wore a pair of my mama jeans

to build school and a old and a old time

of he figure shirt and the same shoes I

had been wearing to school the whole

time. Man, they teased me forever. Then

you know how you got the faded part on

the knees? Yeah. They was like, "Why

your knees white? What you been on your

knees?" No, that's the style. Everybody

got distressed denim now. Yeah. So that

was hard. That was the worst. But I said

that to say this. If you possess the

ability to laugh at yourself, you never

have to worry about being ashamed of

anything like what I' I've heard you

I've heard you talk about that before.

In fact, man, it's funny cuz one of the

things that okay to be human, you know

what I'm saying? Well, you know, it was

most of my life it was hard for me to

laugh at myself a couple years ago. It's

so funny. A couple years ago, there was

a moment that happened. I don't remember

what it was, but I liked I went

Theo. I just kind of laughed at myself

and said my name my whole life my whole

life it had been this internal thing

that had been just judging me always and

for the first time ever our worst

critics but I just didn't realize how

infected I'd been by my own by judgment

of myself but we're taught that because

when we come outside we judge by our

peers we judge by everything if you do

this if you do that and then it's like

you know what I'm going to be the best

human I could be. Yeah. I don't care if

I make mistakes. I'm I'mma follow my

heart. I don't care what nobody think. I

swear to God, I'm going to be the best

human I could be. And um something else

I used to do Mhm.

before I developed a greater sense of

selfworth, I would overcompensate.

And that's still a form of seeking

validation. like I would overextend and

I would overextend myself as far as just

the person I am not to be liked. I was

doing this because this is what I really

wanted somebody to do for me. Yeah. So I

would overextend and just overshare and

over love and over everything. I would

do it to the mo to but this is the love

that I should have been giving myself. Bro,

Bro,

there'll be times I'll text this over

the past few years I noticed this will

happen for me. I'll text somebody, "Hey

man, just wanted to remind you you're a

great you're a great guy and I'm so

proud of you." Right? I wish somebody

would tell me that. And as I'm typing it

to them, tears will come out of my face.

And I didn't realize and it's a nice

thing to say to them. And a lot of times

it's a person I'll have enough of a

connection with where like we share a

lot of similar experiences so we can,

you know, we'll say that type of thing

to each other. But man, sometimes as I'm

sending that because really I I just

like that's what I always needed. Right.

The dude who did my my guns. Mhm. on my

hands. My my gun tattoos. His name

Trevan Spielman, but some people call

him Travon or Trevan. I call him just T.

Okay. Or my brother. But where does he

do? He's out of Louisiana or where? I'm

about to tell you. He used to always

make jokes. He used to always laugh. He

used to always check on everybody else. And

And

we he sent me a text message. I got on

the flight and went to California. when

my flight landed the last text message

he was like I don't think I could do

this anymore then I found out he killed himself.

himself.

So it's like oftent times the people

that's always helping everybody else

like it make you want to start checking

on them. That's why when I did and not

to bring up nothing with Drewski but

shout out to Drewuski um I did a little

show where I was on there like a blind

date and he was like man you too uptight

and I'm like I'm not. I just most of the

time the people that make all the jokes

I check on their well-being cuz that's

how my brother was. He used to always

make jokes and make me laugh and he'll

be doing my tattoos and I'll be telling

them about everything I've been through

like he was like my therapist and he

even flew out to California one time

just to tattoo me kind stayed at my

apartment and everything. And you never

know what people going through

internally. And that's the reason I like

I don't just take people for granted

like especially people that's always

making everybody else laugh. Ah so I'll

laugh with you but I'm also want to be

here with you to see what's going on.

Yeah. So I'mma laugh I'mma laugh with

you but when we finish I'mma ask you

Mike you you show everything. Okay. Like

cuz if you need to talk I'm here like

and that's just the type of person I am

because he was one of them people. He

was super funny everything. I never

would have thought, right, he would have

took his own life and that's what he

just was dealing with. Too much pain.

Yeah, he was dealing with a lot. Yeah,

he was dealing with a lot. That's my

brother. I love him. Amen. Trev T. His

name Trarevon Spielman. Trarevon

Spielman, but some people call him

Trevan. Yeah. And like he from

Louisiana, too. Trayvon Spielman. Well,

good. I'm glad we say his name today,

man. Yeah. It just made me think about

that like the people that give the most

we never ask them do they need anything.

Yeah. Yeah man. It's you know it's man a

lot of my life especially like as an

adult in the past 10 years eight years

really has been

having a journey with myself. Right. I

didn't even know who I was. I don't even

know if honestly bro I feel sometimes

like I've only been alive for about five

or six years in some way. Before that

you Yeah. You too. Before that, I was

alive, but I was just and I don't even

know what was controlling me. I'm

grateful that God was giving me

guidance. You was alive, but you wasn't

living, man. I was Well, I just didn't

even know who only the only way I was

experiencing the world was how you

needed me to experience it, you know,

kind of type of thing. But I wanted to

say one more time just that like, yeah,

there was a moment where I laughed at myself.

myself.

Oh, I Hey, I ain't mean to cut you off.

Please forgive me. No, you didn't. You

just got lost. No, it's important. This

is good. I think and you've you're

totally forgiven and yeah, I'm sorry for

cutting you off, too. Um, but uh yeah,

just to be able to laugh at myself, bro.

And then part of me I felt, man, my

whole life here I am and I won't even

give my own self a laugh. It's like cuz

I'm not only am I talking, but I'm

listening to myself at the same time.

And I wouldn't even laugh. Every time

I'd just been like, man, that's there's

an old thing inside of me. You're not

enough. you got to be perfect or you're

not nobody's going to pay attention.

It's like just a constant system of

judgment, you know. And so, man, to

laugh at myself is just my publicist

crazy. My publicist, her name Alvina,

she like,

"God give you what you need

a lot of times when you don't even know

that you need it." And me and her

arguing, arguing, arguing, argue, but

she always tell me like, "You gonna be

great. That's my life's mission that you

be great. So, one of the lessons, we

have like a lesson every week. And one

of the lessons for one week, she was

telling me, "Give yourself grace." Cuz

I'm super I'm like you. I'm super

critical on myself.

If I don't honor the commitments I made

to myself, I'm a [ __ ] Yeah. You know,

definitely. And here's the crazy thing I

would do, Kevin. I would go I would go

for a run one day or do something and

then I'd be like, we grinding every day.

I'm going to go I'm gonna go run a

million mile. Next week I'm running

seven miles. And then the next day I

wouldn't even go for a run. But I'd have

built up all of this steam in my head

like I was in the Olympics. And so then

I'd let myself aspirations were so

diabolical and ridiculous that but when

I did let myself down, I would let

myself fall from the heights of my

aspirations. Not even from You just Yes.

You just took one room and you just one

neighborhood over and you got yourself

at the Olympic trials in Atlanta. Like

but the the shame I would feel would be

the fall from the Olympic trials and I

only [ __ ] went damn probably 1100 ft.

That's why everybody that tell me they

want to get into fitness. They be like

what you think I should do first? I say

baby steps.

Baby steps. Take baby steps. If you walk

in the gym and walk out, you still

showed up. You did something that you

wouldn't have done yesterday. Maybe this

time you might get on a trail man walk

for maybe two or three minutes. I don't

know. Who knows? Start drinking more

water. Baby steps. Like every like

everything is baby steps. Yeah. Yeah. I

would never even give myself the grace

of like let me have those baby, you

know? Then you know something else I

used to do? I used to compare myself to

people that was taking steroids and all

of that and I'm like I want my body to

look like this. And I'm like yeah. And I

used to I used to watch them dudes say

stuff like, "If if you ain't got no

six-pack, you fat, homie." And I was

like, "Damn, I'm fat." So, I had

unrealistic expectations. I'm just like

you. And then I start giving myself

grace and I'm like, "Yeah." I didn't

even come in it to look like that. I

just wanted my clothes to be able to fit

good. Yeah. I just I just didn't want to

be titty man anymore. Yeah. Yeah. He

didn't want to have them nice titties on

it, boy. Man, breastises. I just I just

didn't want to be titty man anymore. And

then you start comparing yourself to

other people and you lose we lose

ourselves in what we really wanted. What

was our goal? I just wanted I wanted a

bedroom body. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's all. I don't want to

look good in my pajamas. That's Yeah. I

just wanted a nice little bedroom body.

Now all of a sudden I'm just like, man,

I want to be Hercules. I'm like, no. Oh

yeah. I want to have muscles on the side

of my [ __ ] or whatever. You have them

dudes, they be showing they they be

flexing they [ __ ] They got one dude he

could flex his. I'm like I don't got to

see that. You been doing them dick lips,

huh? Yeah. You [ __ ] doing something,

bro. Putting a They get that fishing get

that fishing string and put it at the

end of it with the little weight when

you the sinker. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah. And make it flex

with that fishing sinker. That little thing.

thing.

Dang, man. Uh no, thank you for saying

some of that, dude. Yeah, but the first

time I ever laughed at myself, I

realized what have how have I been

treating myself this whole time.

Horrible. I've heard you talk a lot

about things like that, man. And some of

the stuff you say, man, just thank you

for sharing. I know you're not a prophet

or anything like that, but just thank

you for sharing honestly because I think

that's the greatest thing we can try to

do. Yeah. I'm far from a prophet. Yeah.

But I feel like it's a we can try to

share honestly. Profitable. Yeah. I'm

just not a prophet.

What? Uh, only reason I say that cuz you

know when you hear about prophets, they

like these such perfect people. Yeah.

Uh-uh. I I ain't perfect. I'm going to

make some mistakes today. Yeah. Huh?

Titty man on the loose today, baby. They

got a dude at the gym. His name Kevin.

When I walk in, he was like, "Hey,

not titty man anymore." Yeah. Oh, he

showed up, huh? Yeah. Like cuz I did an

interview and I was like, "Yeah, sorry

for calling you titty man." No, it's

okay. It's no big deal. Hey, it's

beautiful because that's where I came

from. I was titty man. Like I was

holding a baby and the baby tried to

suck my titty. I had breasts. And that

was the most embarrassing moment for me

ever. I still talk about that to this

day. And somebody was like, "No, you're

one like I said, yeah, I had breasts. I

was titty man." So then they heard the

interview and when I went to the gym,

they was like, "Hey, you're not titty

man anymore." I was like, "Oh, I used to

stay up and look at my buddy had some

tits on and my buddy I was going to do

that thing. I used to think that I had

uh what is called gyoglam

gyog gyoglamastia whatever it's called.

Pull it up. Ganogastia. See what it is.

Gyoglastia is in the Middle East.

Oh, gynecomamastia. Whatever it's I

don't know how to pronounce the word. I

be hearing a lot of people say it. They

like gyno or whatever. Gynecomastia.

condition where male breast tissue

enlarges due to an imbalance of estrogen

and testosterone and and I and they had

this surgery where you go get your your

titty cut out and I was like man I do

that I'm tired of this [ __ ] and I didn't

know you got abs under here and when you

work the abs that's what lift like your

ab muscle don't just it go all the way

up to the pectoral and that's what lift

that and then doing dips and doing abs

that's what made all of that disappear

just lift got that titty off. Yeah. God.

Yeah. My buddy had them and we used to I

used to stay up at night and he would

have his shirt off and I'd look at them

[ __ ] Bro,

I hate that. I liked it. Like when I

used to go to the YMCA. Oh yeah. Which

one? I used to go to the one on um on college.

college.

The old one though. Not the not the new

the old one. Pull up that YMCA in Baton

Rouge. The one There's one over there by

the Walgreens is kind Not on College. On

Foster. Yeah. on Foster. The old one on

North Foster. I used to go to that one.

I'm talking about when I used to come

out my shirt, they used to free Willie.

Talking about the whale. Oh, damn. Yeah.

Oh my god. Never in life. I didn't know

people were going through that. Yeah,

that's AC Lewis right there. That's a

good YMCA.

Free Willie out there. Yeah. Did you go

to school over there? Did you Did you go

to college over there, too? Something

like that. I went to community college.

Did you Where you go, BRCC? Of course.

Let's go. Turn up. Oh, my sister used to

work over at Cox Communications over

there, man. What is it? Yeah, my brother

went to Southern for a little while.

Dang, bro. That's why. What were you

studying over there? Business. Yeah.

Introduction to business. And you

graduated, bro? I ain't graduated, but

overall you did. Yeah, I graduated.

Yeah, big facts, man. I'm a billion

miles past.

Did you get a degree? I I at some point

I saw that or I read in um that you got

a degree in jail in prison. Yeah. Is

that true? Yeah, that's true. Wow. What

were the classes like in there and

stuff? What is it? It's not It was no

classes. You just test. I got credits by

testing. Oh, so they don't have like a

um Do you have Do y'all do like um I'm

trying to think of what it's called. Do

y'all have like um group projects or

whatever? No, they you have an

administrator that administer the test.

Oh, damn. And you test. Whenever you

ready to test, you test. Well, you can't

say whenever you ready to test. Like,

you might test once a month or something

like that, but I had a little way that I

was able to keep testing. Shout out to

them. Yeah. Shout out to them. But so,

you don't you don't have group projects.

I was wondering if you got a group

project or something. What if your group

leader gets put in like in a solitary

confinement or whatever? It wasn't like

that. Yeah, it was it was not like that

in Louisiana prisons. It's like really

every man for their self. So you take

your test and then like was it you study

the curriculum and then you go take a

test. Dang. You have an administrator

that make sure you don't cheat. And but

did other people look down on you if you

was trying to study in there or No. No.

You trying to get out just trying to get

out the dorm? Yeah.

Trying to get out the dorm. Yeah. I was

just wondering if you had like a Now

when I went to prison in Chicago

when I What? That's Illinois. It was

I forgot. Uh, it's EMCC East Molen, but

I forgot the place in Illinois that it

was. Now, they had individual classrooms

like on the campus. So, y'all would go

to class. Yeah, it was beautiful. Dang.

That that that

last bid I did, it changed my life

completely. That's how I got into yoga.

Like, they offer programs and everything

at the prison. At the prison. And they

had weights.

And I say that like I would lift weights.

weights.

They like if you wanted to be better,

you could become better. But dude, that

reminds you. You ever been at like a

hotel or motel and you'll be in the gym

working out? They have a family just

come look at the gym equipment and then

just walk out. Like they just come that

just happened to me in um you say at the

gym? Yeah. Like you'll be in the gym.

That just happened to me at um I was in

South Carolina. Yeah. I was in South

Carolina working out at a hotel in the

gym and they had people passing by the

gym and they'll look in the gym and open

the door and leave out. But they was

having like a a fraternity reunion

there. I forgot what fraternity it was,

but it was like from all over the like

country. They was there having some kind

of reunion like panh helenic or

something like that maybe. No, they was

a they was frats. They was fraternity

and they told me they was in a

fraternity. A few of them came in there

and talked to Masons or something. No,

they weren't Masons. They was like uh

college. Oh, Fra Deltas or something?

Charter Chopper Darts. And they was

like, "Yeah." They was like, "Yeah, bro.

We down here for some kind of get

together. They having parties." They was

like, "Oh, they drinking." Yeah, we big

fans. I was like, "Yeah, thank you."

Yeah. Sometimes it's why I'll be in the

gym and people will come in just look at

the gym like, "Well, look at this. If it

ain't a gym, you know, and then they

just leave out. At least they showed

up." Yeah, that's a good point, huh?

That's baby steps. They showed up.

That's baby steps. Um, yeah, cuz I was

just wondering if you're in jail, do you

have group projects or is there like

most likely to, you know, like that kind

of thing? Like is it like a real like

most likely to succeed or most likely to

It's still get out of jail or whatever.

It's still indiv it's still

individualbased learning, but you do

earn good time by going to school. I I

like I liked it the way they had it set

up in Illinois. They had programs and

you earn good time by going to school.

It's like that in Louisiana in some

facilities. You earn good time by going

to school, but

the way they had it set up in Illinois

was different. Like they had real

programs, like real classrooms that you

go to. They got some facilities that

offer that, but it's not the same. So,

it was more organized over there. Yeah,

it was it was it was more I'mma say

this. It was based to help people. It

was geared toward anti-rescetivism.

Recidivism is repeat offenders.

Anti-rescetivism is people that that go

to jail and become better and don't come

back. It was geared toward

anti-rescetivism. Like in Louisiana,

it's not geared toward that. It's geared

toward it's a revolving door. You're

going to come back, right? We'll see you

soon. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back. That

type of thing. See you next time. You

know, like you going in that eight. We

missed you. the the this is one of the

worst things but it was the most

beautiful thing that ever happened too

cuz I needed this. They called me in and

they had switched my PO. They switched

my PO. So they call me in. I go in. I'm

thinking I'm just going to piss. Yeah.

Like you know give a update on what's

going on. Yeah. Put your hands behind

your back.

Took me to jail. They say you traveled

without uh notifying anybody. I'm like

y'all switch my PO. I had been

attempting to contact and nobody had

ever picked the phone up. Dang. And

where'd you go? You took a vacation. No,

I didn't take a vacation. I was working.

I won't say anything. Yeah. In the same

spot that the same spot that the PO had

already approved travel for. And that's

what made me start getting copies of

everything. Right. So you got proof of

what somebody said. Yeah. I want can can

you sign it? Can I get a travel for me?

Can you sign it? And I start getting

copy. Can you make me a copy? And I

start keeping a folder and keeping

copies. It was beautiful though. It made

me be more organized. Yeah. Get some

organization in your life and recognize,

yeah, you got to have proof of what's

going on even for yourself because you

can't even rely on other people's proof

because they'll forget the proof,

they'll alter the proof. You don't even

know sometimes. I don't believe is that

sometime people get so busy and caught

up with what they got going on. That's

true. That it's easy to forget. If you

dealing with a hundred different people,

you not going to possibly remember

little old me till my name start

buzzing. Right. Well, that's a good

point, too, because that's an

interesting way. Sometimes I'll think,

this is the way that I'll think. I'll

think, "Oh, they doing that on purpose

to me." As opposed to what you just

said, some like adversity builds

character. But people got a million

things going on. They're not thinking.

They're just doing their [ __ ] They say,

"Never suspect malice of what could be

mistaken for incompetence." Yeah. Never

take as malice for what could be

misinterpreted as incompetent. And it

usually is. This usually is just kind of

incompetent. It's not. People don't just

go out of their way to do [ __ ] up [ __ ]

to you. They just be so preoccupied with

what they got going on. They don't even

know that this what they doing. Yeah.

Until made aware. But see, there were

times in my head I'm like these

[ __ ] that's how they treating.

But it's not anything like that, you

know. But I would take that on. We going

to automatic, you know, that's we going

to automatically plex. I still plex

sometime like have a develop a complex

about feeling like I'm being, you know,

mishandled and things of that nature.

But I don't even look at it like that.

That [ __ ] be so petty cuz I look at it

now like it's an invitation for me to

lower my frequency or stay. What is

something you miss about prison? I don't

miss nothing about prison. Even

something little? No, I don't miss

nothing about prison.

So there's nothing in it. What about

even just getting some rest every now

and then? Was it like that or no? I can

get rest out here. I need to go to

prison for to get rest. Yeah, you're

right. You're right, man. I'm trying to

Yeah. What I miss? Now I'm going to read

ads for some of the prisoners. Somebody

come in that somebody come in there

making sure you in compliance, bed made

up, all that. I ain't got time for that

[ __ ] I do that on my own anyway. And

what about a cellmate at night? Like do

people say good night to each other or

people just quietly go to sleep? It

depend on if you and your seller cool.

If you you got a seller and y'all cool

like that, you know. But with me,

anytime I leave, any set I have, they

going to always, man, I'mma miss you,

bro. Cuz I just I keep it going. Yeah, I

run eps and everything. And when I say

run eps, that mean like I'm running an

episode like we talking about [ __ ] but

it might go when I first get in the

sale, it might go by 90 days. My seller

going to always ask me the same thing. Hey,

Hey,

you sleep all day and you be up all

night. You don't watch TV and you don't

get on the phone. I be reading.

I just read.

I read books. I got stacks of books.

Yeah. Then I'm then I don't even go to

child. So like say if you indigent

indigent mean don't nobody send you no

money. I'mma ask you your you got family

out there. They love you. They send you

money. You going to tell me no. What I'm

going to put $100 on your books. You

gonna give me 80 worth of [ __ ] and you

gonna just keep the 20 for you. Yeah,

that's business. Yeah. So, you know, you

eating and I'm eating cuz I don't even

go to child. So, I do hookups every

night. I cook. So, you in your own space

then? Yeah. I'mma cook every night. So,

you kind of try to create your own

system within that system. Do you feel

like in a way? No, that's just how I

live. That's how I do my time. I do my

bed like that. I don't really go to

child unless it's on chicken day, right?

And then no judgment on that. I probably

don't go on chicken day cuz all the

chicken going to get brought to me

anyway. And I'mma just cut all that.

I'mma cut all that up and put that in a

soup. Put that in a hookup. A hook up

like where you get a big bowl and you

you know we cook. You got your own thing

going. Now, how do you heat the food up

in the cell? It depends on what spot we at.

at.

It depends on where we at. They got some

people they cook on the bunk like on the

middle. They got some people they got

some jails where they give you a hot

pack, but you got to rig it for to make

it boil. It's It depends. Some people

make a stinger. What is that? A stinger.

That's the thing they hooking the

electric socket in. A little stinger. It

depends. Oh, there you go. Somebody

grilling something right there on a bed

sheet. Yeah. Oh, that's good. It depend.

It depends on what spot we at. They have

some good chefs in prison. The best.

Amen. Amen, dude. Yeah. Where's that

cooking show? Huh? They got people make

pizzas, everything. Anything you could

think of. Stir fry everything. Yeah. I

love that. They got I was locked up in

Florida. They got some [ __ ] they do.

They call making a brick where they take

it, man. They put everything in there.

Turkey, sausage, everything. And they

just I'm talking about everything you

could think of they can get out the

kitchen, they put in there and they make

it they they cook it in a Dorito bag and

make it like a holy brick. Oh yeah, man.

I'm talking about the truth. Good, huh?

You ever do a prison night or something

at the house? Remake some food like that

or try to You ever remake any stuff like

that for your friends so they can taste

it? Yeah. I done did that for my

partners and my little son. He like all

that. Oh, hell yeah. But we come from

that anywhere on the street. Remember,

ramen noodles and all that. We come from

that. Putting anything you could find in

it. Yeah. Well, the big thing in our

house was Oh, yeah. My partner used to

make my He He wasn't my sell it, but he

was like $2 down. About $3 down. He used

to make burritos. Oh yeah. Did he really

is a Mexican guy? Nuh-uh. He wasn't

Mexican, but he used to make burritos.

He pretended he was Mexican for You

would have thought he was a Mexican.

God, I love a burrito, bro. Man, he used

to make the best ones. I didn't like him

at first because I didn't want to do I

like sandwiches. I didn't want to

betray. He used to do it with all beef,

all turkey, all chicken. I'm talking

about the truth. My god. Onions,

everything. Bell peppers, everything.

Oh, he was putting everything in it.

Now, all the ingredients, you get them

through the jail or some people smuggle

in a bell pepper. You get that from

commissary, but like like vegetables and

[ __ ] all that's going to get broke.

That's coming from the kitchen. Yeah,

that's going to get broke. That's broke.

And what about it got any good desserts

in prison? Was there ever like a Yeah,

they got dudes in there make candy. They

got dudes in there make ice cream. God

dang. Really? Wow. I would love that.

They got dudes make everything in there.

them some of the most creative people

you gonna ever meet in your life. Them

some of the most intelligent people you

gonna ever meet in your life. Yeah. The

most intelligent. You talk about

weights, you talk about yoga. You got

into yoga when you're in there. Yeah. I

accidentally got into yoga. How'd that

happen? My partner kept telling me,

"Man, bro." But I think a lot of black

men, they you can't just say, "I got

into yoga." I think you have to be like,

"I accidentally got in." I was against

it. I was all the way against it. Oh,

yeah. He was telling me, "Man, bro, I'm

telling you, bro, they got yoga

classes." I say, "Well, you go in there

and bend over. I'm not going in there

and doing that [ __ ] You go in there and

bend your ass over." So, that was I was

just I was like too hard for myself.

Just whatever, whatever, whatever. So,

one of my potters from across the hall,

he was like, "Yeah, bro. I'm going to

holl at you. I'm about to go do yoga." I

say, "For what?" He was like, "Man, I

couldn't even like he was telling me he

had knee pains and all kind of different

pains in his joints." He said, "I don't

even have that [ __ ] no more since I've

been doing yoga." He said, "Man,

everything on me," like, he say, "It's

been healing my body." So, I'm like,

"Whatever." Like two days pass, I give

it a try. Go in there. The first maybe

two poses of the [ __ ] I did, I'm

thinking it's some [ __ ] Like, you

know, when you see on TV, you see

people, oh, namaste. Yeah. You know, you

thinking it's [ __ ] so I did it.

Yeah. Like maybe after the third pose, I

ran to the bathroom and [ __ ]

everything. Like it cut my appetite.

It's really what started my kind of

started my fitness journey. Like a lot

of the people that was lifting weights

and doing all that was still come and do

yoga because I had read in the what's

what's that uh the Arnold Swanson

Encyclopedia that big yellow book.

What's he got on there? He had a big

It's called uh There you go. Right

there. Arnold Swanson Encyclopedia

that's the one but and he did yoga he

was like whenever a lion wake up a lion

stretch first before they do anything so

I start looking at it and you know when

you when you start feeding yourself that

that not when you know your brain open

up to something different when you

reading it because you you become like a

information freak you become like a

seeker of knowledge because this is the

only thing that's stimulating you

mentally you know what I'm and you being

stimulated by new information. So then I

was like, man, yeah, I'mma go [ __ ] with

it. So I started [ __ ] with it. I came

home, I got off it, but then I had got

back on it. And now I'm like fully

committed. Oh yeah, dude. I've

definitely done some yoga where you'll I

mean you will [ __ ] You have [ __ ] you're

like, damn, this [ __ ] been missing. Cut

your appetite and everything. Yeah. If I

don't do yoga, I feel weird. Yeah. Oh,

dude. There's nothing better when you

get done with yoga and you cut off the

computer, however you do, you know. I

love when my yoga coach used to tell me,

"Thank you for allowing me to share this

space with you. Namaste." Yeah. I'm

like, "I bet you not like this at the

house, but in my brain, you know."

Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. Yoga sometimes, bro.

There'll be a pose one time I would do

something with my shoulder. I had

shoulder pain. All that [ __ ] It

unlocked something inside of me. Oh,

tears just coming out of my face, just

stuck in my muscles. You know, that's

crazy. That happened to me doing a

pigeon pose. Mhm. And I was just in the

pose. I was laying there and I ain't

want to lift back up cuz I was just

crying uncontrollably. And she came and

put her hands on my back and she was

like, "The energy that you're feeling

right now is not your own. It's just

psychic debris. You're having an

emotional detox." Damn. Release it. And

I was just breathing through it. And

then I did the left side. And then I

Whoever tell us about emotional detoxes,

I ain't grow up knowing about that [ __ ]

I ain't know that everything that we go

through traumatically, it it harness

itself somewhere in some type of muscle fasia.

fasia.

I ain't know that [ __ ] Well, there's

not a lot of guys talk. There's not a

lot of guys I don't feel like where

you're from talking about this stuff,

man. What do you think really took?

Yeah, I felt like it were I'm be honest

with you. I did prejudge it. I thought

that was for [ __ ] Oh yeah. When I

first when they first told me about

yoga, I'm I'm not about to do that [ __ ]

ass [ __ ] Especially in prison, I didn't

know they had different sports. I

thought homosexuality was the only sport

in the first thing I told him. I said,

"Man, you going in there and bent your

ass over. I'm not about to do it." Yeah.

[ __ ] little zesty. Next thing I know,

next thing I know, I was doing them

warrior poses and all that [ __ ] You in

there, bro. That [ __ ] ain't no joke.

Yeah, you get in there with your little

sugar cane in there. I ain't going in

there. That's how I would think at

first. You know, you get in there with

your little spicy baby body. No, you

only victim of what you entertain. Yeah.

Oh, but that was I was Did I That's how

I was. I was against everything. Yeah. I

used to plex like that. I think in

juvenile detention cuz you hear so many

[ __ ] up stories about jail. When you

go in there, they going to try to [ __ ]

you. Yeah. They [ __ ] people and you

think that's how it's going. So, yeah.

Don't wear no cologne in there. When you

go in there, the first the first thing

you do is plex. And what I mean by plex,

you have a complex. You in defense. you

in defense mode. But when you get there,

you really see that prison is

structured. Yeah. It's really off

respect. It's ran off respect. Respect

run the compound. Ain't nobody going to

pass by you and not say, "Excuse me."

It's different. Do you admire the the

level of respect that was in there? In

some ways,

I give my respect first, but at the end

of the day, I still demand it.

Did you get treated special because you

had celebrity in your life? If you think

I wasn't a celebrity at first. Got it.

Like juvenile detention through that

circuit. I wasn't a celebrity. Was it

scary to go back to prison? Like damn,

now they know me. Juvenile facilities

are more chaotic than adult facilities.

Oh yeah, I can see that. So they way

they way more chaotic. So that's where

the the the fighting and all that go on

every day. And adult prison is

structured. It ain't like that. It's

laidback. Yeah. That [ __ ] they be

showing on TV them Mickey Mouse camps.

Yeah. That's not no right. It's not real

[ __ ] That's not no maximum security.

That's not no none of that. Them Mickey

Mouse camps. That's not like Louisiana. Like

Louisiana prisons are the roughest prisons

prisons

from my perspective cuz I done been

around a little bit. I haven't been to

prison in Canada. So that sounds nice.

So man, they had the best food. Oh man,

Canada's great. I would go to prison in

Canada. It was it was different. Like

the way they respect you there is to

like the way the guards respect you

there is different when you get to

Louisiana it's a whole another story.

Yeah. Always do. I feel this is a

different way that people communicate

overall. Dude, I'll tell you this even

what I noticed about racial stuff in in

Canada when I was up there. I feel like

sometimes in America, especially growing up in the south, there's there's not

up in the south, there's there's not there's there's some tension between

there's there's some tension between black and white. I feel like but there's

black and white. I feel like but there's a lot of history. Right. Louisiana,

a lot of history. Right. Louisiana, Mississippi, our white boys different.

Mississippi, our white boys different. Yeah. Oh, for sure. But in Canada, if

Yeah. Oh, for sure. But in Canada, if you in Canada, there's no racial

you in Canada, there's no racial tension. They're not regular white boys

tension. They're not regular white boys in Mississippi and Louisiana.

in Mississippi and Louisiana. They built different. Well, some of them

They built different. Well, some of them some of them got they some of them seem

some of them got they some of them seem like uh I got a pod right now. We locked

like uh I got a pod right now. We locked up. If you call them G White,

up. If you call them G White, you might as well just going to get rid

you might as well just going to get rid of. Just don't even call him. If you

of. Just don't even call him. If you call cuz you know that be like, "What up

call cuz you know that be like, "What up G White?" You know, you say that to like

G White?" You know, you say that to like you know he think he a [ __ ] You know

you know he think he a [ __ ] You know what, man? What up, G White? Man, they

what, man? What up, G White? Man, they got some white boy. They not going for

got some white boy. They not going for that. Yeah, I'm not going. You not about

that. Yeah, I'm not going. You not about to call me G White. We could fight all.

to call me G White. We could fight all. Hey, all we could play with that knife.

Hey, all we could play with that knife. And that's how they coming. They built

And that's how they coming. They built like that. Yeah, it's changed a little

like that. Yeah, it's changed a little bit, huh? No, it ain't changed. It been

bit, huh? No, it ain't changed. It been like that. You think? Yeah. You got real

like that. You think? Yeah. You got real [ __ ] and [ __ ] [ __ ] everywhere you

[ __ ] and [ __ ] [ __ ] everywhere you go. God dang, I love. So, it's like it's

go. God dang, I love. So, it's like it's it's like I'm glad to know that, I

it's like I'm glad to know that, I guess. Yeah. It's it's it's um you only

guess. Yeah. It's it's it's um you only victim of what you entertain. Yeah. See,

victim of what you entertain. Yeah. See, like when you went to the sugarcane,

like when you went to the sugarcane, baby, that conversation. I ain't even

baby, that conversation. I ain't even grin cuz I'm not in. Right. If you grin,

grin cuz I'm not in. Right. If you grin, you in. Oh, dang. That was your

you in. Oh, dang. That was your conversation. I'm not I'm not talking to

conversation. I'm not I'm not talking to me. Like when you was like, "Yeah, I

me. Like when you was like, "Yeah, I want to be in there with my sugar baby

want to be in there with my sugar baby and a yoga thing." I was like, I said

and a yoga thing." I was like, I said there were men in there. I think there's

there were men in there. I think there's creative men in there. Yeah. I just that

creative men in there. Yeah. I just that that wasn't my conversation. Yeah. I'm a

that wasn't my conversation. Yeah. I'm a real Vick, so that just went over my

real Vick, so that just went over my head. I ain't no new J. Me too, bro. I

head. I ain't no new J. Me too, bro. I ain't about that [ __ ] Yeah. So when you

ain't about that [ __ ] Yeah. So when you when like when somebody had them kind of

when like when somebody had them kind of conversations, I ain't having them.

conversations, I ain't having them. Yeah. That just go over my head. Me too.

Yeah. That just go over my head. Me too. Cuz if you grin, you in. You only victim

Cuz if you grin, you in. You only victim of what you entertain. I'm chilling. I

of what you entertain. I'm chilling. I ain't smiling about nothing. I feel

ain't smiling about nothing. I feel that. Not like if you grin, you in. But

that. Not like if you grin, you in. But if you entertain it, right? Oh, I see.

if you entertain it, right? Oh, I see. You know, you open the door for that.

You know, you open the door for that. Yeah. I mean, I'm locking that up. And I

Yeah. I mean, I'm locking that up. And I That's one thing I teach my son like

That's one thing I teach my son like sometime he'll see something on the

sometime he'll see something on the internet like a comment. I say, "Hey,

internet like a comment. I say, "Hey, you don't entertain that. you a man,

you don't entertain that. you a man, right? Don't never let nobody defeat you

right? Don't never let nobody defeat you with words. You don't entertain it. How

with words. You don't entertain it. How did you start to get to know yourself?

did you start to get to know yourself? Right? Cuz you talked about that. Um,

Right? Cuz you talked about that. Um, solitude. Really?

solitude. Really? Solitude. Cuz you're one of the few

Solitude. Cuz you're one of the few people. You're one of the few kind of

people. You're one of the few kind of rappers I feel like that or that I've

rappers I feel like that or that I've met or experienced or paid attention to

met or experienced or paid attention to that I know of that talks about that

that I know of that talks about that kind of stuff, their relationship with

kind of stuff, their relationship with themselves. Right. Most of the things

themselves. Right. Most of the things that we did, excuse me, I can't say we.

that we did, excuse me, I can't say we. I'm going to say me. I'm going to speak

I'm going to say me. I'm going to speak for me. All right. Most of the things

for me. All right. Most of the things that I did in my life that people would

that I did in my life that people would consider heroic or violent

consider heroic or violent uh that I got stripes for that was out

uh that I got stripes for that was out of fear or seeking validation from

of fear or seeking validation from somebody older than me. But how did you

somebody older than me. But how did you start to realize that that that that

start to realize that that that that that's what was going on like that you

that's what was going on like that you like when you say like sol solitary

like when you say like sol solitary being by yourself being in solitude

being by yourself being in solitude spending time alone. So what was that

spending time alone. So what was that practice? Did you have a practice that

practice? Did you have a practice that started? I mean you said like a little

started? I mean you said like a little bit of yoga so that kind of opened up

bit of yoga so that kind of opened up your idea to like doing something

your idea to like doing something different but what like what was was

different but what like what was was there somebody who started to teach you

there somebody who started to teach you these practices cuz it's hard to get

these practices cuz it's hard to get from just when when a student ready to

from just when when a student ready to learn the teacher appear once you start

learn the teacher appear once you start walking this path like this path led me

walking this path like this path led me to doing this right now today and when I

to doing this right now today and when I leave here I don't know who I'mma meet

leave here I don't know who I'mma meet that may give me a tidbit of knowledge

that may give me a tidbit of knowledge that's going to propel me forward I

that's going to propel me forward I don't know And it just you pick it up.

don't know And it just you pick it up. The reward really is in the journey. So

The reward really is in the journey. So I just pick up little tidbits along the

I just pick up little tidbits along the way. Yeah. Or how you say it? Tidbits.

way. Yeah. Or how you say it? Tidbits. My bad. Yeah. Tid. That's that

My bad. Yeah. Tid. That's that Louisiana. That's that Louisiana. My

Louisiana. That's that Louisiana. My tongue heavy. That tidbits. Oh yeah. So

tongue heavy. That tidbits. Oh yeah. So I I got a I talk lazy. Um what when you

I I got a I talk lazy. Um what when you look on your life, what's like what some

look on your life, what's like what some of the worst pain that you felt like you

of the worst pain that you felt like you have have ever been in? Physical,

have have ever been in? Physical, emotional. emotional probably I would

emotional. emotional probably I would say or mental like

say or mental like cuz I've heard you talk about trauma and

cuz I've heard you talk about trauma and overcoming past traumas is you don't

overcoming past traumas is you don't hear a lot of people talk like that you

hear a lot of people talk like that you know so like I'm just like recently um

know so like I'm just like recently um 2020 I was going to kill myself

2020 I was going to kill myself damn I had deleted my uh my Instagram

damn I had deleted my uh my Instagram for like a year and a half I was going

for like a year and a half I was going to kill myself

to kill myself cuz I I only felt appreciated for my

cuz I I only felt appreciated for my ability to do and then I was always

ability to do and then I was always looking at Instagram around and it was

looking at Instagram around and it was like I was comparison I was compar and I

like I was comparison I was compar and I spoke about this before I was comparing

spoke about this before I was comparing my life to other people life and

my life to other people life and comparison really is the killer of all

comparison really is the killer of all joy and I didn't understand that until I

joy and I didn't understand that until I started looking at my life like damn

started looking at my life like damn like I'm seeing everybody highlight real

like I'm seeing everybody highlight real but at the end of the day I'm just me

but at the end of the day I'm just me but everybody else living so great but

but everybody else living so great but that's just the highlights that's not

that's just the highlights that's not what they going through every

what they going through every And it took me getting off Instagram and

And it took me getting off Instagram and getting off social media period to see

getting off social media period to see that people really do love me and enjoy

that people really do love me and enjoy the world and start having gratitude.

the world and start having gratitude. Like think about the things you grateful

Like think about the things you grateful for. Not what you don't have and not how

for. Not what you don't have and not how [ __ ] not going, but think about all the

[ __ ] not going, but think about all the good [ __ ] and just be thankful like I'm

good [ __ ] and just be thankful like I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for

grateful for this, I'm grateful for that. And that's when things started to

that. And that's when things started to kind of change for me. A lot of people

kind of change for me. A lot of people say that kind of stuff, but it's not a

say that kind of stuff, but it's not a practice in their life, right? It's not

practice in their life, right? It's not like a real truth that they're living. I

like a real truth that they're living. I think that's one thing to me that's

think that's one thing to me that's interesting about you. It feels like

interesting about you. It feels like that's really how you have chosen to

that's really how you have chosen to live your life. What were like

live your life. What were like practices? I don't have I'm going be

practices? I don't have I'm going be honest. Every day not going to be a good

honest. Every day not going to be a good day, right? For me, but I'm still going

day, right? For me, but I'm still going to go to the gym, right? Cuz that is my

to go to the gym, right? Cuz that is my therapy. And I kind of train myself to

therapy. And I kind of train myself to know that whenever I have like a [ __ ]

know that whenever I have like a [ __ ] up feeling like the days that I I don't

up feeling like the days that I I don't even want to go them the days that I had

even want to go them the days that I had the best workouts. I didn't kind of

the best workouts. I didn't kind of start playing a game with myself. I know

start playing a game with myself. I know when certain people start texting me and

when certain people start texting me and it's low vibrational people, something

it's low vibrational people, something good must be about to happen. It's got

good must be about to happen. It's got to be a test. Something good about to

to be a test. Something good about to happen. And I just start training myself

happen. And I just start training myself to look at it like that. And that's

to look at it like that. And that's really how it be going now. Yeah. Yeah.

really how it be going now. Yeah. Yeah. Alternate at like Yeah. Taking the

Alternate at like Yeah. Taking the opposite choice. Making the opposite

opposite choice. Making the opposite choice cuz everything inside of you is

choice cuz everything inside of you is like take it take off today. Take it

like take it take off today. Take it easy. Don't do I swear to God. Like I

easy. Don't do I swear to God. Like I went jogged and everything before I came

went jogged and everything before I came here. Amen.

here. Amen. I heard you talk about before about like

I heard you talk about before about like a lot of men you don't feel like are

a lot of men you don't feel like are living their truth, right? You're not. I

living their truth, right? You're not. I feel like we're in a tough spot like um

feel like we're in a tough spot like um with like love and the value the moral

with like love and the value the moral value of relationships and stuff like

value of relationships and stuff like that. You're not like ain't nobody ain't

that. You're not like ain't nobody ain't nobody really loving people no more. I I

nobody really loving people no more. I I think I'm the only person right now

think I'm the only person right now that's like really living in

that's like really living in my authenticity. I'm talking about as

my authenticity. I'm talking about as far as like on the main stage like

far as like on the main stage like people say what's politically correct

people say what's politically correct and I don't give a [ __ ] what nobody

and I don't give a [ __ ] what nobody think about me cuz if everybody like me

think about me cuz if everybody like me that I'm [ __ ] you know what I'm saying?

that I'm [ __ ] you know what I'm saying? I'm just I want to be liked by

I'm just I want to be liked by everybody. He who is a friend to

everybody. He who is a friend to everyone is a friend to no one. I'm not

everyone is a friend to no one. I'm not a good I'm not friendly but I'm a great

a good I'm not friendly but I'm a great friend.

friend. And that's just my perspective on it.

And that's just my perspective on it. Like it's a lot of people that won't

Like it's a lot of people that won't allow themselves to love somebody based

allow themselves to love somebody based on their past situations or the bumps

on their past situations or the bumps and mistakes that they made and for fear

and mistakes that they made and for fear of how the rest of the world will look

of how the rest of the world will look at them. Yeah. I don't care how the

at them. Yeah. I don't care how the world look at me.

world look at me. Don't care.

Don't care. I'm living life out loud.

I'm living life out loud. Damn. Boom. Boom. Boom. Really? Really,

Damn. Boom. Boom. Boom. Really? Really, dude? I I'll tell you this, Kevin. I

dude? I I'll tell you this, Kevin. I Yeah. I've had I remember times in my

Yeah. I've had I remember times in my life I was like, man, I wouldn't date a

life I was like, man, I wouldn't date a certain girl because of what my friends

certain girl because of what my friends would think of her, bro. And then I I

would think of her, bro. And then I I spent like a couple years like that one

spent like a couple years like that one time. I had that problem. But but then I

time. I had that problem. But but then I I missed out on a good opportunity, too,

I missed out on a good opportunity, too, man. Once I started [ __ ] man, listen,

man. Once I started [ __ ] man, listen, once I start [ __ ] with this little

once I start [ __ ] with this little chick, everybody told me, "Don't [ __ ]

chick, everybody told me, "Don't [ __ ] with her." She ended up being And still

with her." She ended up being And still to this day, we still good friends. She

to this day, we still good friends. She one of the most solid people I ever met.

one of the most solid people I ever met. And this back from when I was still on

And this back from when I was still on the block, [ __ ] And we still cool. She

the block, [ __ ] And we still cool. She doing good for herself now. She in the

doing good for herself now. She in the real estate and [ __ ] now. But this from

real estate and [ __ ] now. But this from back when I was on the block with it. Oh

back when I was on the block with it. Oh yeah. She was dancing. She used to

yeah. She was dancing. She used to dance. Everybody, man, don't mess with

dance. Everybody, man, don't mess with her. She a stripper. She And she end up

her. She a stripper. She And she end up being one of the most solid people. And

being one of the most solid people. And that's when I realized it's the people

that's when I realized it's the people that the world say the most [ __ ] up

that the world say the most [ __ ] up [ __ ] about be the best people. And the

[ __ ] about be the best people. And the people everybody praise and be like,

people everybody praise and be like, "Yeah, this person, he's such a great

"Yeah, this person, he's such a great guy. They really be barbaric behind

guy. They really be barbaric behind closed door up. They don't have no

closed door up. They don't have no morals. They don't have no principles.

morals. They don't have no principles. They don't stand for nothing. So, I just

They don't stand for nothing. So, I just noticed like some of your better people

noticed like some of your better people be the people that everybody don't like.

be the people that everybody don't like. Well, I think it's tough for people. You

Well, I think it's tough for people. You kind of one of them people like when I

kind of one of them people like when I say authentic, like you pretty much do

say authentic, like you pretty much do your own [ __ ]

your own [ __ ] You one of them people to me to me like

You one of them people to me to me like you live in your authenticity. A lot of

you live in your authenticity. A lot of people be like the stuff that you say a

people be like the stuff that you say a lot of people wouldn't say it for fear

lot of people wouldn't say it for fear of how it would be perceived. you just

of how it would be perceived. you just said it and I'm like

said it and I'm like I [ __ ] with I can't help but to [ __ ]

I [ __ ] with I can't help but to [ __ ] with it. Like that's a good point. You

with it. Like that's a good point. You just real people. Thanks for the

just real people. Thanks for the compliment, man. Yeah, I try my best. I

compliment, man. Yeah, I try my best. I think the tough part is it was the

think the tough part is it was the truth. Like it was the truth, right? I

truth. Like it was the truth, right? I think the tough part uh is just

think the tough part uh is just I'm just always still trying to figure

I'm just always still trying to figure out who I am and I'm amazed at at new

out who I am and I'm amazed at at new things that come along. Most people

things that come along. Most people won't admit that. Like one of my albums

won't admit that. Like one of my albums that's about to come out is called Don't

that's about to come out is called Don't Know What I'm Doing cuz I don't know

Know What I'm Doing cuz I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Most people won't

what I'm doing. Yeah. Most people won't admit that they don't know what they

admit that they don't know what they doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm

doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still discovering new parts of myself

still discovering new parts of myself every day. I don't know. People be

every day. I don't know. People be asking me, "So, what you going to do

asking me, "So, what you going to do today?" I don't know.

today?" I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet.

I haven't figured it out yet. Uh, how do you keep your ego? Because

Uh, how do you keep your ego? Because this is something I've noticed in my

this is something I've noticed in my life, right? Like my ego, what do I do?

life, right? Like my ego, what do I do? What? How do I figure out what is my ego

What? How do I figure out what is my ego and what is uh self-confidence and

and what is uh self-confidence and self-worth? Like, do you know what I'm

self-worth? Like, do you know what I'm talking about? Your ego can slip in. To

talking about? Your ego can slip in. To be honest, 2025,

be honest, 2025, some people can say that I'm operating

some people can say that I'm operating out of ego, but I'm not giving to nobody

out of ego, but I'm not giving to nobody but me.

but me. Like, I'm not I've given everything I

Like, I'm not I've given everything I had to give and now everybody else can

had to give and now everybody else can just figure it out.

And as and we can say that's ego. That's cool. But when I go to the gym, I don't

cool. But when I go to the gym, I don't ego lift, right? I don't lift the

ego lift, right? I don't lift the heaviest weights in there. I do what's

heaviest weights in there. I do what's comfortable for me. I work at my own

comfortable for me. I work at my own pace. Hey, you know what? What I eat

pace. Hey, you know what? What I eat doesn't make you [ __ ] And what you eat

doesn't make you [ __ ] And what you eat doesn't make me [ __ ] So if you want to

doesn't make me [ __ ] So if you want to go in there and be the world's strongest

go in there and be the world's strongest person, you know, good luck, buddy.

person, you know, good luck, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Great for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Great for you. Do what works for me. And like I I

Do what works for me. And like I I always make sure am I getting what I

always make sure am I getting what I came for? I just want to get what I came

came for? I just want to get what I came for. Like what do you mean by that? Like

for. Like what do you mean by that? Like when I go to the gym, I don't get

when I go to the gym, I don't get sidetracked and socializing. Yeah. What

sidetracked and socializing. Yeah. What I mean by socializing is I knew I had

I mean by socializing is I knew I had this interview today and I already made

this interview today and I already made the commitment. So I'm going to honor

the commitment. So I'm going to honor that commitment. So when I went I'm just

that commitment. So when I went I'm just giving you a illustration for sure or

giving you a illustration for sure or example. So when I went to the gym

example. So when I went to the gym today, I went in there to get what I

today, I went in there to get what I came for. I ain't coming here to be

came for. I ain't coming here to be friendly. I ain't coming here to

friendly. I ain't coming here to socialize. And what I mean by

socialize. And what I mean by socializing is, you know, your uncle

socializing is, you know, your uncle passed by about y'all over there

passed by about y'all over there socializing, huh? Socializing. Yeah.

socializing, huh? Socializing. Yeah. Y'all over there socializing. You lying

Y'all over there socializing. You lying to him and he lying to you. Y'all lying

to him and he lying to you. Y'all lying to each other.

to each other. I ain't coming here to socialize.

I ain't coming here to socialize. Yeah, man. And I think having parameters

Yeah, man. And I think having parameters for yourself and boundaries for what

for yourself and boundaries for what your goals are that that's I think and

your goals are that that's I think and had I not did what I needed to do to

had I not did what I needed to do to raise my frequency, me going to the gym

raise my frequency, me going to the gym today was committing an act of self-

today was committing an act of self- loveve, I wouldn't have been able to do

loveve, I wouldn't have been able to do this, right? I feel great now. Yeah.

this, right? I feel great now. Yeah. Yeah. You feel amazing. Yeah. Your

Yeah. You feel amazing. Yeah. Your energy comes in and Yeah. It's funny cuz

energy comes in and Yeah. It's funny cuz you come in, I feel like, damn, I got to

you come in, I feel like, damn, I got to I want to be on a level. Well, you came

I want to be on a level. Well, you came in when I saw Jesse and every time I see

in when I saw Jesse and every time I see Jesse, I'm Jessie is a friend and he's

Jesse, I'm Jessie is a friend and he's always been a good friend of mine.

always been a good friend of mine. Lately, something's changed. If you're

Lately, something's changed. If you're watching this, Jesse, shout out to you,

watching this, Jesse, shout out to you, Jesse.

Jesse. He was like, every time I see him, he

He was like, every time I see him, he was like, he was like, every time he

was like, he was like, every time he sees me, he talks makes a song about

sees me, he talks makes a song about stealing my [ __ ] girl. And that's

stealing my [ __ ] girl. And that's just a joke that we got. Every time I

just a joke that we got. Every time I see him. Good to see you, Jesse, bro.

see him. Good to see you, Jesse, bro. Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this,

Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this, he's watching, man. If you're watching,

he's watching, man. If you're watching, Jesse, this one's for you, brother. It's

Jesse, this one's for you, brother. It's for you, buddy. This for you, buddy. Um,

for you, buddy. This for you, buddy. Um, did you have self-hatred and stuff? Did

did you have self-hatred and stuff? Did you deal with that? Of course. How'd you

you deal with that? Of course. How'd you know you had it?

know you had it? My actions.

My actions. You know who told me, who kind of

You know who told me, who kind of started the conversation?

started the conversation? I was talking to pliers one day. Really?

I was talking to pliers one day. Really? Yeah. And

Yeah. And it may not seem like it, but that's a

it may not seem like it, but that's a real intelligent dude. So he was like,

real intelligent dude. So he was like, "Man, Gase, that's something I be

"Man, Gase, that's something I be noticing, bro." He said, "Gase, man, you

noticing, bro." He said, "Gase, man, you be acting like a ugly [ __ ] man." I

be acting like a ugly [ __ ] man." I said, "What you mean? You just be you be

said, "What you mean? You just be you be moving around like a ugly [ __ ] man.

moving around like a ugly [ __ ] man. And you not ugly [ __ ] You handsome,

And you not ugly [ __ ] You handsome, but I'm just saying you be like a ugly

but I'm just saying you be like a ugly nigga." And I'll be like, "What you

nigga." And I'll be like, "What you mean, man? You about to have some

mean, man? You about to have some security with you. Can't nobody be just

security with you. Can't nobody be just touching you." And then we were sitting

touching you." And then we were sitting down at the table and a lady was trying

down at the table and a lady was trying to touch me. He said, "Hold on now, I'm

to touch me. He said, "Hold on now, I'm delicate." But I ain't know what he

delicate." But I ain't know what he meant, but he was talking about setting

meant, but he was talking about setting those energetic boundaries for yourself.

those energetic boundaries for yourself. Like everybody not supposed to have

Like everybody not supposed to have access to you cuz it's texting on your

access to you cuz it's texting on your spirit. It's draining. Yeah. It's

spirit. It's draining. Yeah. It's draining.

draining. Certain phone calls is draining. Oh,

Certain phone calls is draining. Oh, hello.

hello. Yeah. What's going on? They about to

Yeah. What's going on? They about to tell you some [ __ ] some bad news. I

tell you some [ __ ] some bad news. I don't want to hear that [ __ ] Yeah.

don't want to hear that [ __ ] Yeah. Maybe that's my ego. You You act like

Maybe that's my ego. You You act like you don't care. I don't. It's not that I

you don't care. I don't. It's not that I don't give a [ __ ] I could just give a

don't give a [ __ ] I could just give a [ __ ] less. Yeah. I care about me. Right.

[ __ ] less. Yeah. I care about me. Right. [ __ ] that. I don't want to hear that

[ __ ] that. I don't want to hear that [ __ ] Damn. Yeah. It's so true, man. Cuz

[ __ ] Damn. Yeah. It's so true, man. Cuz a person that don't you take it on. A

a person that don't you take it on. A person that don't you not doing the work

person that don't you not doing the work every day. Yeah. So, it's like

every day. Yeah. So, it's like I'm doing the work every day. So, a

I'm doing the work every day. So, a person that's not doing the work every

person that's not doing the work every day, it's really nothing you could tell

day, it's really nothing you could tell me cuz I'm doing the work every day.

me cuz I'm doing the work every day. Like, I go weeks sometime without

Like, I go weeks sometime without eating, when I'm fasting, when I need

eating, when I'm fasting, when I need clarity. I just stop eating. I'm 3 days

clarity. I just stop eating. I'm 3 days in, no food. You wouldn't even go 3

in, no food. You wouldn't even go 3 hours. Yeah. I'm hungry. I have a

hours. Yeah. I'm hungry. I have a headache. That's your body detoxing. So,

headache. That's your body detoxing. So, I don't even listen to people like that.

I don't even listen to people like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People don't care.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. People don't care. People get all fattened out or whatever

People get all fattened out or whatever they cook. Yeah. people just I mean food

they cook. Yeah. people just I mean food food could be used as a drug sometimes

food could be used as a drug sometimes sometime food could be used as a coping

sometime food could be used as a coping mechanism cuz I used to use food as a

mechanism cuz I used to use food as a coping mechanism sometime I overeat or

coping mechanism sometime I overeat or sometime I wouldn't eat what would your

sometime I wouldn't eat what would your snack be if you had a destin like a

snack be if you had a destin like a evening snack nighttime snack good night

evening snack nighttime snack good night Kevin or whatever snack now or then back

Kevin or whatever snack now or then back then I used to drink a lot of syrup

then I used to drink a lot of syrup straight syrup no I used to mix it with

straight syrup no I used to mix it with like the pineapple Uh the pineapple

like the pineapple Uh the pineapple suniss. Mhm. That's when activist was

suniss. Mhm. That's when activist was out. I used to like the cough syrup. I

out. I used to like the cough syrup. I used to mix it with pineapple suniss,

used to mix it with pineapple suniss, sprite, and mountain dew. Them was my

sprite, and mountain dew. Them was my favorites. Damn. And some syrup. Yeah.

favorites. Damn. And some syrup. Yeah. What kind of log cabin light or

What kind of log cabin light or whatever? Uh-uh. And then I used to have

whatever? Uh-uh. And then I used to have to eat what was my thing? My favorite

to eat what was my thing? My favorite thing to eat. I like the them little

thing to eat. I like the them little crust the uncrustables. The little

crust the uncrustables. The little peanut butter and jelly. I like the

peanut butter and jelly. I like the them. And what else? else I used to eat

them. And what else? else I used to eat something else I used to eat all the

something else I used to eat all the time.

time. I don't know if Doritos maybe or

I don't know if Doritos maybe or something. I don't know if it was

something. I don't know if it was chicken wings. It was something

chicken wings. It was something I forgot. It was something I used to eat

I forgot. It was something I used to eat all the time. I forgot it was I know it

all the time. I forgot it was I know it was unhealthy. Whatever it was. But

was unhealthy. Whatever it was. But you're talking about drugs. Yeah, I used

you're talking about drugs. Yeah, I used to do drug codine syrup. Yeah. I didn't

to do drug codine syrup. Yeah. I didn't know what you're talking about at first.

know what you're talking about at first. Yeah. Wow. And you were addicted to it?

Yeah. Wow. And you were addicted to it? I ain't going to say addicted, but you

I ain't going to say addicted, but you enjoy it. I didn't like it. I loved it.

enjoy it. I didn't like it. I loved it. Yeah. Yeah. I loved it.

Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. And but now I never went to rehab

And but now I never went to rehab either. You didn't?

either. You didn't? Rehab's for quitters. Yeah. I'm not

Rehab's for quitters. Yeah. I'm not trying to quit. How But you don't do

trying to quit. How But you don't do that anymore though? Cuz I found a new

that anymore though? Cuz I found a new drug.

drug. Fitness. Yeah. My new drug of choice. Do

Fitness. Yeah. My new drug of choice. Do you notice though? Are you able to

you notice though? Are you able to notice a different feeling of how much

notice a different feeling of how much different you feel making those Yeah. I

different you feel making those Yeah. I miss choices. I Yes. I'mma be honest and

miss choices. I Yes. I'mma be honest and I hate to say what I'm about to say.

I hate to say what I'm about to say. When people be like, "I miss the old

When people be like, "I miss the old Kevin." I get it cuz I miss the old

Kevin." I get it cuz I miss the old Eminem when he was on drugs. Yeah.

Eminem when he was on drugs. Yeah. That's the Eminem I like.

That's the Eminem I like. That's the Eminem I like. I like the

That's the Eminem I like. I like the Eminem that was on drugs. Oh yeah. So I

Eminem that was on drugs. Oh yeah. So I know what people mean when they, man,

know what people mean when they, man, I'm Mr. Old Kevin. I'm like, I get it. I

I'm Mr. Old Kevin. I'm like, I get it. I I get it.

I get it. Cuz you I miss him, too. I do. But I'm

Cuz you I miss him, too. I do. But I'm not about to sacrifice the way I feel

not about to sacrifice the way I feel for that. Like I love where I'm at now.

for that. Like I love where I'm at now. Well, I think that's a trap, too, is to

Well, I think that's a trap, too, is to stay where you are. You know, it's a

stay where you are. You know, it's a trap, man. You can grow with me or you

trap, man. You can grow with me or you can grow without me. But either way,

can grow without me. But either way, it's on with me. But I do get it though

it's on with me. But I do get it though when people say, "Man, I miss the old

when people say, "Man, I miss the old Kevin." Cuz I miss the old Eminem. I do.

Kevin." Cuz I miss the old Eminem. I do. I miss the old Eminem. I swear to God, I

I miss the old Eminem. I swear to God, I do. Oh, yeah. I believe that. I miss

do. Oh, yeah. I believe that. I miss there. There's times in my own life that

there. There's times in my own life that I miss. There's times in my life where I

I miss. There's times in my life where I felt like I was funnier or like had

felt like I was funnier or like had better ideas and stuff, but things just

better ideas and stuff, but things just change and sometimes it's different. I

change and sometimes it's different. I like I like where I'm at now. Yeah, this

like I like where I'm at now. Yeah, this I like where I'm at now, man. I'm a

I like where I'm at now, man. I'm a [ __ ] supermodel, man. I love

[ __ ] supermodel, man. I love where I'm at now. This [ __ ] different

where I'm at now. This [ __ ] different now. I used to couldn't even do the

now. I used to couldn't even do the wheel, the ad wheel. Now I do that [ __ ]

wheel, the ad wheel. Now I do that [ __ ] effortless. Really? I go jogging in the

effortless. Really? I go jogging in the morning. Effortless. It's just

morning. Effortless. It's just automatic. When I stretch, it's

automatic. When I stretch, it's effortless.

effortless. When I [ __ ] my [ __ ] it's just

When I [ __ ] my [ __ ] it's just effortless.

effortless. And I I just I do everything better. And

And I I just I do everything better. And I hate to say what I just said, but it's

I hate to say what I just said, but it's the God honest truth. I just I wouldn't

the God honest truth. I just I wouldn't change this for the world. It was time

change this for the world. It was time drinking, sir. My dick wouldn't even get

drinking, sir. My dick wouldn't even get hard. Oh yeah. And not to get off on

hard. Oh yeah. And not to get off on those sexually related T, but I had

those sexually related T, but I had erectile dysfunction at 20, what 23, 24

erectile dysfunction at 20, what 23, 24 years old because of all the drugs I was

years old because of all the drugs I was doing. So I'm okay. I would never trade

doing. So I'm okay. I would never trade that for this. I love where I'm at now.

that for this. I love where I'm at now. I can sing better.

I can sing better. like my singing voice has matured now

like my singing voice has matured now because I'm not on drugs. So I I love

because I'm not on drugs. So I I love where I'm at now. The music that I make

where I'm at now. The music that I make is I make music that I can work out in

is I make music that I can work out in the gym too now. So I you know not other

the gym too now. So I you know not other I get it though. I get it. I understand.

I get it though. I get it. I understand. Yeah. But I don't care. But I

Yeah. But I don't care. But I understand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I miss

understand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I miss the old gates. Yeah. Oh dude. Yeah. I

the old gates. Yeah. Oh dude. Yeah. I think it's great. But I think the New

think it's great. But I think the New Gates is really

Gates is really prophetic.

prophetic. I think the New Gates says some things

I think the New Gates says some things that are really I think the New Yo, bro.

that are really I think the New Yo, bro. Say, "Bro, I love you, bro. You scaring

Say, "Bro, I love you, bro. You scaring me right now." I am. Yeah. Sorry. I

me right now." I am. Yeah. Sorry. I don't want to be a prophet.

don't want to be a prophet. Okay. I want That's scary. Like,

Okay. I want That's scary. Like, that's scary when you say [ __ ] like

that's scary when you say [ __ ] like that. Like, you know, you That's crazy.

that. Like, you know, you That's crazy. like you the first person that I ever

like you the first person that I ever sat in front of that said that to me

sat in front of that said that to me like

like thank you I love you for being able to

thank you I love you for being able to see me but that's that's scary. Yeah.

see me but that's that's scary. Yeah. Maybe it's unnecessary kind of and I

Maybe it's unnecessary kind of and I don't mean I don't mean it like that.

don't mean I don't mean it like that. It's it's somebody else that's when they

It's it's somebody else that's when they see this they going to be like see I

see this they going to be like see I told you cuz it's some people that argue

told you cuz it's some people that argue with me like I told you you was a

with me like I told you you was a prophet. I'm like but prophets are

prophet. I'm like but prophets are perfect.

perfect. I'm not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't

I'm not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't think that I wouldn't have made it in

think that I wouldn't have made it in the book. Hey, I tell you it's good

the book. Hey, I tell you it's good thing I wasn't around Jesus. I'd have

thing I wasn't around Jesus. I'd have made us look bad. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of

made us look bad. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of a disciple, you didn't need some made us

a disciple, you didn't need some made us look bad. You know what I'm saying? In

look bad. You know what I'm saying? In general, most let's get prophets right

general, most let's get prophets right here. In general, most religious

here. In general, most religious traditions do not consider prophets to

traditions do not consider prophets to be perfect in the sense of being

be perfect in the sense of being entirely free from error or sin. While

entirely free from error or sin. While they're often revered for the divine

they're often revered for the divine connection and ability to convey God's

connection and ability to convey God's message, that's still a lot of pressure.

message, that's still a lot of pressure. I just like, man, I like the new bars

I just like, man, I like the new bars you have. have just as much as the old

you have. have just as much as the old bars, man. That's what I like. Hey, at

bars, man. That's what I like. Hey, at least somebody cares. That's what I

least somebody cares. That's what I like, too. At least somebody cares. Um,

like, too. At least somebody cares. Um, he's But it's just it's and it's not to

he's But it's just it's and it's not to say that that you wrong for saying that.

say that that you wrong for saying that. It's just a few people in my camp, in my

It's just a few people in my camp, in my circle, they be like, you know, you're a

circle, they be like, you know, you're a prophet, right? And I'm like, no, I

prophet, right? And I'm like, no, I don't want to be that. And I guess it's

don't want to be that. And I guess it's me shying away from the responsibility

me shying away from the responsibility of that. I don't want that

of that. I don't want that responsibility.

responsibility. If I said something and it helped, take

If I said something and it helped, take it for what it's worth. I made a bunch

it for what it's worth. I made a bunch of mistakes to to get whatever knowledge

of mistakes to to get whatever knowledge and wisdom I gave you. I made a bunch of

and wisdom I gave you. I made a bunch of mistakes to get to that point.

mistakes to get to that point. Did um

Did um how do you be a parent that was

how do you be a parent that was different than how you was parented?

different than how you was parented? Um cuz that's one of the most important

Um cuz that's one of the most important things. We could go anywhere. Mhm. We

things. We could go anywhere. Mhm. We could go anywhere like because the truth

could go anywhere like because the truth hurts but it heals. So we could go we

hurts but it heals. So we could go we could have any kind of conversation.

could have any kind of conversation. What makes me a better parent is I was

What makes me a better parent is I was sexually victimized and I didn't have a

sexually victimized and I didn't have a safe place to communicate. I created a

safe place to communicate. I created a space for my children to communicate

space for my children to communicate with me. So they say when you work on

with me. So they say when you work on yourself, you heal seven generations

yourself, you heal seven generations backwards and seven generations forward.

backwards and seven generations forward. And damn, I hate to say this, but

And damn, I hate to say this, but somebody before me, they was sexually

somebody before me, they was sexually victimized also. So it was like

victimized also. So it was like something that kind of ran in the

something that kind of ran in the family. Oh yeah. Like a learn behavior

family. Oh yeah. Like a learn behavior or Okay. Yeah. It was it was like they

or Okay. Yeah. It was it was like they had went through the same thing. And

had went through the same thing. And by me creating that space for my

by me creating that space for my children to be able to communicate with

children to be able to communicate with me. Don't nobody never touch you there.

me. Don't nobody never touch you there. Nobody, you know, you always talk to me.

Nobody, you know, you always talk to me. I don't judge my children. Long as you

I don't judge my children. Long as you tell me the truth, I'm never going to be

tell me the truth, I'm never going to be upset with you. No matter what it is,

upset with you. No matter what it is, I'm here to help you figure it out. You

I'm here to help you figure it out. You know, that's me. So anyway, I broke

know, that's me. So anyway, I broke those generational curses or gen, excuse

those generational curses or gen, excuse me, generational traumas. Let's say that

me, generational traumas. Let's say that they not generational curse,

they not generational curse, generational traumas. So I broke that.

generational traumas. So I broke that. And the reason I don't really speak on

And the reason I don't really speak on that like because it was um

that like because it was um my family still kind of healing from

my family still kind of healing from that situation. Like me and my mother,

that situation. Like me and my mother, we we got a beautiful relationship now.

we we got a beautiful relationship now. Like it's super beautiful. But it was a

Like it's super beautiful. But it was a strange for a while. Yeah. because I

strange for a while. Yeah. because I wasn't able to communicate.

wasn't able to communicate. So now it's beautiful because we

So now it's beautiful because we communicate. And me going back and

communicate. And me going back and forgiving my mother and forgiving myself

forgiving my mother and forgiving myself and things of that nature, you got to

and things of that nature, you got to realize

realize they didn't know what they was doing.

they didn't know what they was doing. Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said,

Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said, "This is how you rear children." Yeah.

"This is how you rear children." Yeah. So when they hear shocking news like

So when they hear shocking news like that, the first thing they do panic.

that, the first thing they do panic. They don't think to act. But me, I think

They don't think to act. But me, I think to act. I don't think to just say, "Oh,

to act. I don't think to just say, "Oh, God. Oh, what? That's not how you stop

God. Oh, what? That's not how you stop bullying." Fighting solves everything. I

bullying." Fighting solves everything. I teach my children that fighting solves

teach my children that fighting solves everything. Like I tell my son, like if

everything. Like I tell my son, like if you go to school and if somebody say

you go to school and if somebody say something to you, don't worry about

something to you, don't worry about that. But if somebody put their hands on

that. But if somebody put their hands on you, you punch them right in their nose

you, you punch them right in their nose and you don't stop. You keep going. When

and you don't stop. You keep going. When I come to the school, I'm going to be

I come to the school, I'm going to be like, "I can't believe you did all this

like, "I can't believe you did all this [ __ ] ass [ __ ] I swear to God, I'mma

[ __ ] ass [ __ ] I swear to God, I'mma kill your [ __ ] I'mma do all I'm

kill your [ __ ] I'mma do all I'm going to make it look good when I get

going to make it look good when I get there. Then after that, I'm going to

there. Then after that, I'm going to take you and buy you every toy in the

take you and buy you every toy in the store because fighting sauce is

store because fighting sauce is everything.

everything. You got to Yeah, you got to We don't

You got to Yeah, you got to We don't Hey, we don't What's that coach that

Hey, we don't What's that coach that that Texas What did he say? We don't We

that Texas What did he say? We don't We don't raise no [ __ ] What? I forgot.

don't raise no [ __ ] What? I forgot. I forgot. Football guy. Yeah. He said,

I forgot. Football guy. Yeah. He said, "We don't raise no pussies." He died,

"We don't raise no pussies." He died, didn't he? I forgot the coach name. I

didn't he? I forgot the coach name. I just seen that [ __ ] Woody Allen. Yeah.

just seen that [ __ ] Woody Allen. Yeah. Michael Leech. He was like, "We don't

Michael Leech. He was like, "We don't raise no pussies." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But

raise no pussies." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's just that's just one of my

that's just that's just one of my biggest things when I could say that the

biggest things when I could say that the way I parent is different. I don't

way I parent is different. I don't parent like that. I parent different.

parent like that. I parent different. Like will you like uh I parent like

Like will you like uh I parent like coach Knight. Yeah. But yeah, I parent

coach Knight. Yeah. But yeah, I parent like Coach Knight.

like Coach Knight. I parent like a coach. Okay. My

I parent like a coach. Okay. My grandfather was like a coach. Like that

grandfather was like a coach. Like that tough love. That's how I parent.

tough love. That's how I parent. Yeah. Yeah, I think people don't realize

Yeah. Yeah, I think people don't realize like how they look at their children too

like how they look at their children too is important. If you always look at your

is important. If you always look at your child with like will you go do that or

child with like will you go do that or this is wrong or something then they

this is wrong or something then they that's they feel like something is

that's they feel like something is always wrong, right? Like the look you

always wrong, right? Like the look you put into your child's eyes. You like

put into your child's eyes. You like your your child is kind of like a cup

your your child is kind of like a cup and you're like a picture. It is

and you're like a picture. It is accountability going on like they have

accountability going on like they have to make their beds, they have to go to

to make their beds, they have to go to school, they have to do these things and

school, they have to do these things and if not then you can't play the game,

if not then you can't play the game, right? You going to have to take

right? You going to have to take accountability like my son and my

accountability like my son and my daughter know and my daughter Yeah, she

daughter know and my daughter Yeah, she not even 13 yet. She came to me and told

not even 13 yet. She came to me and told me, "Daddy, is there anything I could uh

me, "Daddy, is there anything I could uh help do around the house to make your

help do around the house to make your life more easier?" Like, one of her

life more easier?" Like, one of her chores is you keep the kitchen clean.

chores is you keep the kitchen clean. Still got to make your bed. Still got to

Still got to make your bed. Still got to go to school, but you keep the kitchen

go to school, but you keep the kitchen clean. My son, you got to make your bed.

clean. My son, you got to make your bed. Still got to go to school, but you make

Still got to go to school, but you make sure the trash put out. And I just give

sure the trash put out. And I just give them little jobs. Yeah. And then you

them little jobs. Yeah. And then you earn what you you earn your wages. Yeah.

earn what you you earn your wages. Yeah. I pay him I pay him $250 a week. Do you

I pay him I pay him $250 a week. Do you really? $250?

really? $250? God dang, bro. I pay him 250 a week. You

God dang, bro. I pay him 250 a week. You want Robux, you want that? You know, you

want Robux, you want that? You know, you got to I pay them. Wow. Damn. They could

got to I pay them. Wow. Damn. They could have work. Oh yeah. They could have a

have work. Oh yeah. They could have a Chevy sedan by September. That's a good

Chevy sedan by September. That's a good amount of money. Yeah. My daughter, she

amount of money. Yeah. My daughter, she like into the furry costumes. Mhm. They

like into the furry costumes. Mhm. They be dressing up like Don't kill me cuz I

be dressing up like Don't kill me cuz I don't want to say it cuz she real

don't want to say it cuz she real defensive about this. No, it's not.

defensive about this. No, it's not. That's what it's called. It's called

That's what it's called. It's called this. I don't know the name of it, but

this. I don't know the name of it, but they they dress up like animals. And I

they they dress up like animals. And I did it one time with her. Okay. And that

did it one time with her. Okay. And that was my way of like going into her world.

was my way of like going into her world. And she was like, "I want to post a

And she was like, "I want to post a video that me and you did on TikTok, but

video that me and you did on TikTok, but I'm scared people are going to hate on

I'm scared people are going to hate on it." I said, "Promise me you going to do

it." I said, "Promise me you going to do one thing." She said, "What?" I heard

one thing." She said, "What?" I heard Floyd Mayweather say this. say, "No

Floyd Mayweather say this. say, "No matter what you do, if you do something

matter what you do, if you do something good, if you do something bad, if you do

good, if you do something bad, if you do something for yourself or you do

something for yourself or you do something for other people, people gonna

something for other people, people gonna always have something to say about you.

always have something to say about you. So, just promise me that you going to

So, just promise me that you going to make yourself happy." Oh, yeah. That's

make yourself happy." Oh, yeah. That's me right there. I'm about to come in on

me right there. I'm about to come in on the furry. Yeah, that's me right there.

the furry. Yeah, that's me right there. Look, Kevin. Yeah, that's beautiful,

Look, Kevin. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. Ooh. Oh, wow. And what animal is

man. Ooh. Oh, wow. And what animal is that? A uh I don't know what I was. I

that? A uh I don't know what I was. I think I was like a little a little wolf

think I was like a little a little wolf or something. Yeah, that's her damn

or something. Yeah, that's her damn little cinjun wolf. And then so she she

little cinjun wolf. And then so she she was she was afraid to post it, but then

was she was afraid to post it, but then once she posted it, the [ __ ] went viral

once she posted it, the [ __ ] went viral like cuz she was already lit in the

like cuz she was already lit in the furry community. Oh, I hope I'm saying

furry community. Oh, I hope I'm saying it right. Eley, if you watching me,

it right. Eley, if you watching me, don't. Yeah, young lady. We're just

don't. Yeah, young lady. We're just trying. Your father's just honoring what

trying. Your father's just honoring what you guys got going on there. That was my

you guys got going on there. That was my way of going in the whole world, right?

way of going in the whole world, right? And saying, "Look, I'm proud of what I

And saying, "Look, I'm proud of what I do. I spend time with my daughter."

do. I spend time with my daughter." Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm proud I'm proud of

Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm proud I'm proud of them. Like just telling them you love

them. Like just telling them you love them every day, hugging on them and

them every day, hugging on them and letting them know, "Hey, I'm proud of

letting them know, "Hey, I'm proud of you." Oh yeah. Like that reassurance.

you." Oh yeah. Like that reassurance. Oh, dude. They not afraid to make me

Oh, dude. They not afraid to make me mad. You know what they're afraid to do?

mad. You know what they're afraid to do? Disappoint me. The same way I'm afraid

Disappoint me. The same way I'm afraid to disappoint God. They're afraid to

to disappoint God. They're afraid to disappoint me.

disappoint me. Yeah. That relationship is just so

Yeah. That relationship is just so important, man. It's so important, you

important, man. It's so important, you know? Like Yeah. I remember I h

know? Like Yeah. I remember I h I was I was so angry as a kid, man. Um,

I was I was so angry as a kid, man. Um, I wish I'd had that relationship. I used

I wish I'd had that relationship. I used to get angry like if I see somebody

to get angry like if I see somebody spending time with their father playing

spending time with their father playing basketball, I'd be like, "Bitch ass."

basketball, I'd be like, "Bitch ass." Yeah. Cuz I wanted that. But now I am

Yeah. Cuz I wanted that. But now I am that.

that. And then I can't be upset with my real

And then I can't be upset with my real father cuz we had some beautiful times

father cuz we had some beautiful times together. Oh yeah. We had some beautiful

together. Oh yeah. We had some beautiful times together. The times we had Yeah.

times together. The times we had Yeah. What was a special time? You My mom I

What was a special time? You My mom I remember one time. So my mom delivered

remember one time. So my mom delivered like newspapers and stuff, you know. So,

like newspapers and stuff, you know. So, one time I think I got sick as I

one time I think I got sick as I couldn't go to school, but she had to

couldn't go to school, but she had to work and so I got to go on her route

work and so I got to go on her route with her and she would go uh and then we

with her and she would go uh and then we took a ride. We went out to over by

took a ride. We went out to over by Pikune and we went they had a Wendy's

Pikune and we went they had a Wendy's over there and we got a Wendy's sandwich

over there and we got a Wendy's sandwich over there and it was like the only time

over there and it was like the only time I ever remember doing something just me

I ever remember doing something just me and my mom. But I remembered just

and my mom. But I remembered just everything about it, how I was sitting,

everything about it, how I was sitting, what we were doing, just we had like a

what we were doing, just we had like a nice day together, you know, and but I

nice day together, you know, and but I had to get sick at school to even just

had to get sick at school to even just cuz my mom always had to work. So I'm

cuz my mom always had to work. So I'm not like whining about it. It's just

not like whining about it. It's just like but I remember that it was

like but I remember that it was important to me you know as we get older

important to me you know as we get older sometime it let us know that

sometime it let us know that the act of love that they had coming

the act of love that they had coming from where we come from was them

from where we come from was them sacrificing time with us to make sure

sacrificing time with us to make sure that we had food on the table is looking

that we had food on the table is looking at it in hindsight that's a good point

at it in hindsight that's a good point make me like damn like I appreciate you

make me like damn like I appreciate you more like even my children understand

more like even my children understand like in October I'm going on tour I love

like in October I'm going on tour I love y'all but I got to go do this, but I

y'all but I got to go do this, but I love y'all. Right. So, I spend as much

love y'all. Right. So, I spend as much time as I can with y'all, but also I got

time as I can with y'all, but also I got to go do this in October, but I love

to go do this in October, but I love y'all. Yeah. For me to for to have a new

y'all. Yeah. For me to for to have a new perspective instead of, man, I bet my

perspective instead of, man, I bet my mom didn't want to leave me to go to

mom didn't want to leave me to go to work. Instead, I'm thinking, what parent

work. Instead, I'm thinking, what parent does, right? Nobody leaves earth saying,

does, right? Nobody leaves earth saying, "Hey, I should have wish I could have

"Hey, I should have wish I could have spent more time throwing the papers out,

spent more time throwing the papers out, delivering the papers." Everybody leave,

delivering the papers." Everybody leave, even the most the richest businessman on

even the most the richest businessman on men on earth, they leave and say, "I

men on earth, they leave and say, "I wish I could have spent more time with

wish I could have spent more time with my family." Yeah. But it's beautiful

my family." Yeah. But it's beautiful because it's about balance. And I don't

because it's about balance. And I don't beat myself up for the time that I'm not

beat myself up for the time that I'm not there. I understand that they

there. I understand that they understand.

understand. Cuz I talk to them. I don't I don't baby

Cuz I talk to them. I don't I don't baby talk. I talk to them regular. Yeah. I

talk. I talk to them regular. Yeah. I think that's the biggest thing is

think that's the biggest thing is communicating what's going on probably,

communicating what's going on probably, you know. Um what uh Yeah. What's What's

you know. Um what uh Yeah. What's What's different about your tour this time? How

different about your tour this time? How do you feel about it? Like do you notice

do you feel about it? Like do you notice that that changes for you as you grow

that that changes for you as you grow up? What's different about my tour this

up? What's different about my tour this time? Cuz in October it starts. Yeah.

time? Cuz in October it starts. Yeah. Me.

Me. Me. It's just another thing. I'm

Me. It's just another thing. I'm different.

different. I'm not the same person I was last year.

I'm not the same person I was last year. I'm better. Okay. Way better. And

man, I could go down the list, but I can say one of the biggest things

say one of the biggest things I start giving myself grace. I don't

I start giving myself grace. I don't beat myself up no more.

beat myself up no more. I used to beat myself up. Yeah. What

I used to beat myself up. Yeah. What would you say like in your head? What

would you say like in your head? What would that be like? You think you I beat

would that be like? You think you I beat myself up? I The way I would beat myself

myself up? I The way I would beat myself up is I will replay something I did and

up is I will replay something I did and it'll bring shame till I almost cringe

it'll bring shame till I almost cringe when I think about it. Like Yeah. Like

when I think about it. Like Yeah. Like no man players like I tell myself like I

no man players like I tell myself like I excuse me you probably don't know this.

excuse me you probably don't know this. I talk to myself. Okay, all geniuses

I talk to myself. Okay, all geniuses talk to their self. And ever since I

talk to their self. And ever since I read that, it kind of gave me the green

read that, it kind of gave me the green light to start talking to myself more.

light to start talking to myself more. But if I do something, I be like,

But if I do something, I be like, players [ __ ] up, too. Oh, players [ __ ]

players [ __ ] up, too. Oh, players [ __ ] up, too. Players do [ __ ] up. Players

up, too. Players do [ __ ] up. Players [ __ ] up, too. And I always tell myself,

[ __ ] up, too. And I always tell myself, man, players [ __ ] up, too. Learn from

man, players [ __ ] up, too. Learn from your mistakes. Don't make them. And I

your mistakes. Don't make them. And I talk to myself. I used to be hard on

talk to myself. I used to be hard on myself like like a coach. Like, hey,

myself like like a coach. Like, hey, [ __ ] Yeah. But I I still I'm still

[ __ ] Yeah. But I I still I'm still like a coach in the gym. I'll be like

like a coach in the gym. I'll be like there, [ __ ] I'll be like, "Hey, hey,

there, [ __ ] I'll be like, "Hey, hey, hey, the weights ain't going to push

hey, the weights ain't going to push theyel." Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

theyel." Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You got enough strength to do that, but

You got enough strength to do that, but you ain't got enough strength to lift

you ain't got enough strength to lift the cover and get up and go to the gym.

the cover and get up and go to the gym. You know what I'm saying? So, it's just

You know what I'm saying? So, it's just I'm I'm

I'm I'm more like

more like motivational toward myself with that.

motivational toward myself with that. But if I if it's a cuz you know you have

But if I if it's a cuz you know you have moments that might come up from the past

moments that might come up from the past and it might just come up in your in

and it might just come up in your in your mental inventory and then when it

your mental inventory and then when it come up instead of running from it all

come up instead of running from it all the time I go like that instead Yeah. I

the time I go like that instead Yeah. I do that all the time and then you know

do that all the time and then you know what I start doing? I sit with it man.

what I start doing? I sit with it man. Play the [ __ ] up too. That [ __ ] ain't

Play the [ __ ] up too. That [ __ ] ain't nothing. You the only one remember that

nothing. You the only one remember that Kevin. Don't nobody else even remember

Kevin. Don't nobody else even remember that [ __ ] That's crazy. Don't nobody

that [ __ ] That's crazy. Don't nobody remember that [ __ ] The only thing

remember that [ __ ] The only thing keeping that fe that that messed up

keeping that fe that that messed up moment alive is you. Yeah. I'm giving

moment alive is you. Yeah. I'm giving energy to that [ __ ] man. Play as us

energy to that [ __ ] man. Play as us [ __ ] up, too, man. I'm fly. Play as us

[ __ ] up, too, man. I'm fly. Play as us [ __ ] up, too. Play as us [ __ ] up, too,

[ __ ] up, too. Play as us [ __ ] up, too, man. I might walk out of here and trip,

man. I might walk out of here and trip, but I'm going to make Hey, it's going to

but I'm going to make Hey, it's going to be a fly. When I trip, I might do a lit

be a fly. When I trip, I might do a lit dance move or something. It's going to

dance move or something. It's going to be a fly trip when I trip. Oh, ain't

be a fly trip when I trip. Oh, ain't nobody trip better than me. Yeah, man.

nobody trip better than me. Yeah, man. That [ __ ] would be beautiful. Players

That [ __ ] would be beautiful. Players [ __ ] up, too, dude. If I see you trip,

[ __ ] up, too, dude. If I see you trip, I'm be like, man, players f Hey, that's

I'm be like, man, players f Hey, that's graceful, bro. Players I'm laugh at

graceful, bro. Players I'm laugh at myself. Yeah, I don't care who see me

myself. Yeah, I don't care who see me make a mistake. I've been on stage

make a mistake. I've been on stage sometime make a mistake. Hey, excuse me.

sometime make a mistake. Hey, excuse me. I just made a mistake. Hey, the

I just made a mistake. Hey, the beautiful thing about mistakes is it's

beautiful thing about mistakes is it's okay for people to see you make a

okay for people to see you make a mistake. Just don't never let a

mistake. Just don't never let a [ __ ] see you quit. You going to

[ __ ] see you quit. You going to watch me make mistakes, but you ain't

watch me make mistakes, but you ain't going to never watch me quit.

going to never watch me quit. I still, like I tell people, I still

I still, like I tell people, I still don't get tired.

don't get tired. I've been up since 3:30. Yeah, I've

I've been up since 3:30. Yeah, I've heard that in your song, too. Yeah, I

heard that in your song, too. Yeah, I still don't get tired. I've been up

still don't get tired. I've been up since like 3:30 this morning.

since like 3:30 this morning. Dang, bro. I'm [ __ ] fired up all of a

Dang, bro. I'm [ __ ] fired up all of a sudden. Yeah. Energy only translate to

sudden. Yeah. Energy only translate to more energy. Is that true? Yeah. Like

more energy. Is that true? Yeah. Like energy translate to more energy. Now

energy translate to more energy. Now once I go eat my meal, supposed to be

once I go eat my meal, supposed to be having supposed to be having uh 20

having supposed to be having uh 20 million. Supposed to be having dinner

million. Supposed to be having dinner tonight. Oh, that's why I had on this

tonight. Oh, that's why I had on this soup. Okay. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm

soup. Okay. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm supposed to be having dinner, but uh

supposed to be having dinner, but uh 2 million. But anyway, but uh you got a

2 million. But anyway, but uh you got a day for dinner. Supposed to be having

day for dinner. Supposed to be having dinner, but after I get after I eat that

dinner, but after I get after I eat that meal, going to get some good rest. Oh, I

meal, going to get some good rest. Oh, I love that. I love getting a good rest.

love that. I love getting a good rest. Do you have um I want to ask you a

Do you have um I want to ask you a couple more things before you go. You

couple more things before you go. You You have a You are religious, man.

You have a You are religious, man. Religious smidges. Yeah. Religious

Religious smidges. Yeah. Religious smidges. But yeah, I guess. Or do you

smidges. But yeah, I guess. Or do you feel like a Cuz people say that you're a

feel like a Cuz people say that you're a Muslim man. I'm going be honest. I'm

Muslim man. I'm going be honest. I'm spiritual. Okay. I'm spiritual. But like

spiritual. Okay. I'm spiritual. But like the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means

the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means believer, right? So I'm a believer, but

believer, right? So I'm a believer, but I'm very spiritual. Got it. Like I

I'm very spiritual. Got it. Like I believe spirituality is if I walk in a

believe spirituality is if I walk in a room and something don't feel right and

room and something don't feel right and I leave, something bad happened, I

I leave, something bad happened, I believe I was guided by God to leave. M

believe I was guided by God to leave. M I done been in a club in New York. I'm

I done been in a club in New York. I'm like, "Come on, let's go." We go

like, "Come on, let's go." We go outside. Soon as we go outside, a fight

outside. Soon as we go outside, a fight break out, somebody get shot, but I just

break out, somebody get shot, but I just felt like it was time to go. And I just

felt like it was time to go. And I just always been like that. Why do you think

always been like that. Why do you think it's so hard for us to step into what we

it's so hard for us to step into what we really believe we want? Cuz when I hear

really believe we want? Cuz when I hear you say that, that's what it hits me as.

you say that, that's what it hits me as. It's like, I've been saying that though.

It's like, I've been saying that though. I say it in my song. I say when Allah

I say it in my song. I say when Allah said, "My new wife, we pray together and

said, "My new wife, we pray together and I'mma keep it sacred." I say that in the

I'mma keep it sacred." I say that in the song. So, I manifested this. I didn't

song. So, I manifested this. I didn't know it were going to be her. But as

know it were going to be her. But as men, why do you think it's so hard for a

men, why do you think it's so hard for a lot of men to just

lot of men to just Yeah. It's like, man, I'm just so tired

Yeah. It's like, man, I'm just so tired of everything that's not mean something.

of everything that's not mean something. Cuz it don't get you don't get

Cuz it don't get you don't get fulfillment. I didn't had more hoes than

fulfillment. I didn't had more hoes than clothes. I never got no fulfillment from

clothes. I never got no fulfillment from having a bunch of different women. That

having a bunch of different women. That [ __ ] is stressful. It's vexating to my

[ __ ] is stressful. It's vexating to my spirit. It don't give me no fulfillment.

spirit. It don't give me no fulfillment. A lot of men ain't going to say that.

A lot of men ain't going to say that. And then I've been on a semen retention

And then I've been on a semen retention journey for the last what maybe five

journey for the last what maybe five years. I talked about like retaining the

years. I talked about like retaining the life force, retaining the semen, not

life force, retaining the semen, not watching porn, not jacking off, taking

watching porn, not jacking off, taking that sexual energy and transmuting it

that sexual energy and transmuting it into something else. So if I have a

into something else. So if I have a craving to go jack off or I'm horny or

craving to go jack off or I'm horny or whatever you want to call it, I go to

whatever you want to call it, I go to the gym or I go to the studio. I

the gym or I go to the studio. I transmute that energy into something

transmute that energy into something else. And you realize and most people

else. And you realize and most people just out here jacking off, man. You

just out here jacking off, man. You realize though when you see dudes with a

realize though when you see dudes with a lot of women but them dudes be stressed

lot of women but them dudes be stressed out like you know what I'm saying as a

out like you know what I'm saying as a man you going to see [ __ ] that you going

man you going to see [ __ ] that you going you going to look but at the same time

you going to look but at the same time you ain't going to help me on my mission

you ain't going to help me on my mission you going to take away you ain't going

you going to take away you ain't going to add value to me you going to take

to add value to me you going to take from me you know behind closed doors do

from me you know behind closed doors do you speak life into me do you help me

you speak life into me do you help me become greater are you helping me become

become greater are you helping me become greater like it don't really be that if

greater like it don't really be that if you are helping me become greater are

you are helping me become greater are you helping me become become greater for

you helping me become become greater for me or are you helping me become greater

me or are you helping me become greater for you?

for you? Or are you manipulating me? Are you

Or are you manipulating me? Are you verbally abusive to me behind closed

verbally abusive to me behind closed doors? You know what I'm saying? Like,

doors? You know what I'm saying? Like, are you using the my flaws against me?

are you using the my flaws against me? You know, it's a lot of women that'll do

You know, it's a lot of women that'll do that, too. And no, excuse me. I can't

that, too. And no, excuse me. I can't say women. It's a lot of people that'll

say women. It's a lot of people that'll do that. Cuz I didn't had men do that,

do that. Cuz I didn't had men do that, too. like bring up stuff from the past

too. like bring up stuff from the past and try to hold it against me to keep

and try to hold it against me to keep you within whatever kind of energetic

you within whatever kind of energetic construct that they have for you because

construct that they have for you because they need your energy. They're

they need your energy. They're everybody's life is great but we suffer.

everybody's life is great but we suffer. So that's why I'm at with it right now.

So that's why I'm at with it right now. Like yeah, that seems to be something

Like yeah, that seems to be something that's kind of vexing our our our

that's kind of vexing our our our community. I wasn't even going to talk

community. I wasn't even going to talk about this, but [ __ ] you the one you

about this, but [ __ ] you the one you got it off me. Oh, I wasn't even trying

got it off me. Oh, I wasn't even trying to get anything. I'm just trying to

to get anything. I'm just trying to survive. I already know. It's like this

survive. I already know. It's like this going to be healing for somebody. Oh,

going to be healing for somebody. Oh, it's healing for me. That's why I'm

it's healing for me. That's why I'm curious about it. It's like cuz I'm sick

curious about it. It's like cuz I'm sick of like, you know, in my own life, but

of like, you know, in my own life, but also I'm the one keeping me there.

also I'm the one keeping me there. That's the crazy thing. It's like I have

That's the crazy thing. It's like I have the ability to change things and I do a

the ability to change things and I do a good job. I say in my song, I'm only

good job. I say in my song, I'm only excited about spiritual things. And I

excited about spiritual things. And I swear I can't wait to move on.

swear I can't wait to move on. I'm only excited about spiritual things.

I'm only excited about spiritual things. Yeah. I think I'm just amazed sometimes

Yeah. I think I'm just amazed sometimes that uh

that uh I don't know, but I'm also, you know, I

I don't know, but I'm also, you know, I got a late start sometimes, man. I got a

got a late start sometimes, man. I got a late start. I'm 39.

late start. I'm 39. I just look, you know what I'm saying?

I just look, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Don't age. I'm 39, though. So,

Oh, yeah. Don't age. I'm 39, though. So, I feel like it's never too late. Yeah.

I feel like it's never too late. Yeah. It's never too late. But when you said

It's never too late. But when you said that about all the women, that [ __ ] was

that about all the women, that [ __ ] was draining.

draining. Yeah. Well, just I I have so many of my

Yeah. Well, just I I have so many of my friends like, I'm going on this date, I

friends like, I'm going on this date, I don't care. just like well what are we

don't care. just like well what are we doing and then you have people it's like

doing and then you have people it's like you're giving yourself away to people

you're giving yourself away to people and I'm not accusing anybody else I'm

and I'm not accusing anybody else I'm telling you anything about myself in my

telling you anything about myself in my own life and then it's just tell me

own life and then it's just tell me about it

about it tell me about it and it's like what kind

tell me about it and it's like what kind of journey am I making what am I really

of journey am I making what am I really build building here and then another

build building here and then another word once I start operating and looking

word once I start operating and looking for reciprocation

for reciprocation it shouldn't cost anything

it shouldn't cost anything if I [ __ ] with you it shouldn't cost

if I [ __ ] with you it shouldn't cost anything if you [ __ ] with me it

anything if you [ __ ] with me it shouldn't cost us anything should be

shouldn't cost us anything should be reciprocated

reciprocated The energy that I'm giving you should be

The energy that I'm giving you should be reciprocated. If it's not reciprocated,

reciprocated. If it's not reciprocated, then you not nobody that I even need to

then you not nobody that I even need to know. And a lot of times

know. And a lot of times when you look at relationships,

when you look at relationships, I could be somebody best friend, but

I could be somebody best friend, but they not my best friend. It's not the

they not my best friend. It's not the energy not being reciprocated.

energy not being reciprocated. And a lot of people are victims of that.

And a lot of people are victims of that. Being in relationships that are

Being in relationships that are one-sided, the door don't really swing

one-sided, the door don't really swing both ways. It may look like it swing

both ways. It may look like it swing both ways, but it don't.

both ways, but it don't. Yeah. It's just a trap, too. I mean, a

Yeah. It's just a trap, too. I mean, a lot of the date, like the sex, the

lot of the date, like the sex, the dating, just the pornography, cuz that's

dating, just the pornography, cuz that's been something I've dealt with. You

been something I've dealt with. You know, when you stop watching porn, it's

know, when you stop watching porn, it's going to change everything. Yeah. It's

going to change everything. Yeah. It's going to change the way you have sex.

going to change the way you have sex. Once you realize these people acting,

Once you realize these people acting, this is fake. This is not real. This is

this is fake. This is not real. This is not a connection. This is [ __ ]

not a connection. This is [ __ ] No disrespect to people that do porn.

No disrespect to people that do porn. They just But they know it. They know

They just But they know it. They know it's fake, you know? They know. That's

it's fake, you know? They know. That's just not my cup of tea. That just ain't

just not my cup of tea. That just ain't no like how a man told me he was like,

no like how a man told me he was like, "You jacking off to another man's

"You jacking off to another man's success." Like I ain't [ __ ] that

success." Like I ain't [ __ ] that [ __ ] Dang, that's crazy. God. Oh my

[ __ ] Dang, that's crazy. God. Oh my god. I'm jacking off to watching another

god. I'm jacking off to watching another man's success. I'm not doing this. That

man's success. I'm not doing this. That is kind of crazy, huh? If you think

is kind of crazy, huh? If you think about it, it's psychotic in nature.

about it, it's psychotic in nature. And then you got to hide and sneak to do

And then you got to hide and sneak to do it. Oh, they got some people probably

it. Oh, they got some people probably just go do it publicly, but I ain't

just go do it publicly, but I ain't doing that. You got to sneak and do it.

doing that. You got to sneak and do it. Yeah. And then under the guise of I'm

Yeah. And then under the guise of I'm having me time. But then after you do

having me time. But then after you do it, you feel guilty, feel horrible, like

it, you feel guilty, feel horrible, like damn, why I did that? Cuz that was

damn, why I did that? Cuz that was precious life force. I just wasted on

precious life force. I just wasted on somebody else success.

somebody else success. God dang it. TR Listen, I've been there.

God dang it. TR Listen, I've been there. I've been there. I know about it. So

I've been there. I know about it. So I've been there. And what was the thing

I've been there. And what was the thing that got you out of that? Like how you

that got you out of that? Like how you able to stop that specifically? Even I

able to stop that specifically? Even I took baby steps. I was like, I'm only

took baby steps. I was like, I'm only going to release on Fridays. Okay. And I

going to release on Fridays. Okay. And I startoom, huh? And I started saying,

startoom, huh? And I started saying, well, maybe this is my creative energy.

well, maybe this is my creative energy. I'm this when when you when you release

I'm this when when you when you release your life force, that's your creative

your life force, that's your creative energy. So, I'm not going to release my

energy. So, I'm not going to release my creative energy. Like, when you boxing,

creative energy. Like, when you boxing, or you preparing for a fight, when I'm

or you preparing for a fight, when I'm working on this album, I ain't going to

working on this album, I ain't going to release no semen or why I'm doing this,

release no semen or why I'm doing this, I ain't going to release. And it just I

I ain't going to release. And it just I became better and better and better. But

became better and better and better. But it was baby steps. I ain't just start

it was baby steps. I ain't just start off just saying cold turkey. Yeah. But

off just saying cold turkey. Yeah. But by the time it was like, man, it seeming

by the time it was like, man, it seeming as babies in it, which is crazy. If I

as babies in it, which is crazy. If I get and you taking baby steps. Yeah. If

get and you taking baby steps. Yeah. If I ain't getting no [ __ ] that's raw.

I ain't getting no [ __ ] that's raw. If I ain't get no [ __ ] [ __ ] ain't no

If I ain't get no [ __ ] [ __ ] ain't no [ __ ] Yeah. What am I doing? I can wait.

[ __ ] Yeah. What am I doing? I can wait. Yeah, I can wait. That's the thing. It's

Yeah, I can wait. That's the thing. It's just that relationship with yourself,

just that relationship with yourself, you know, and having like having

you know, and having like having conversation with yourself like what am

conversation with yourself like what am I doing? What do I what would I really

I doing? What do I what would I really like to do? And then how do I get

like to do? And then how do I get through? You respect yourself different.

through? You respect yourself different. Yeah. Your integrity changes a lot. I

Yeah. Your integrity changes a lot. I respect myself different now that I

respect myself different now that I don't play around like that. Yeah. I

don't play around like that. Yeah. I respect myself different now. And when

respect myself different now. And when you show up, people can Here's the funny

you show up, people can Here's the funny thing. People can see the the integrity

thing. People can see the the integrity you have for yourself. You know what

you have for yourself. You know what people tell me? They say, "Your aura is

people tell me? They say, "Your aura is big." I'm like, "I don't know why." And

big." I'm like, "I don't know why." And they were like, "What kind of practices

they were like, "What kind of practices do you do?" I said, "I practice semen

do you do?" I said, "I practice semen retention." Yeah. It's my precious life

retention." Yeah. It's my precious life force. And they was like, "That's what

force. And they was like, "That's what it is. You have a glow." That's back.

it is. You have a glow." That's back. Yeah. What's that semen? Damn. It's your

Yeah. What's that semen? Damn. It's your life force. Like Oh, yeah. It's

life force. Like Oh, yeah. It's everything you are. It's your truth.

everything you are. It's your truth. It's your script. Yeah. It's your I mean

It's your script. Yeah. It's your I mean that is that is and it's not even your

that is that is and it's not even your script. There's a script of all your

script. There's a script of all your ancestors just wasting it in a sock and

ancestors just wasting it in a sock and you bl Yeah, you blasting it out here in

you bl Yeah, you blasting it out here in a dang church sock too at times. God. Oh

a dang church sock too at times. God. Oh my god. I forgive myself.

my god. I forgive myself. Yeah, you're right, man. Cuz sometimes

Yeah, you're right, man. Cuz sometimes I'll have that shame feeling all the

I'll have that shame feeling all the misfires. I I forgive myself. Yeah, we

misfires. I I forgive myself. Yeah, we learn from our mistakes. We move on.

learn from our mistakes. We move on. Um, but somebody needed to hear this.

Um, but somebody needed to hear this. No, I think somebody did today. And I

No, I think somebody did today. And I think you know what I think it's like we

think you know what I think it's like we need more leaders in the community to

need more leaders in the community to say things like that. Lead. We have to

say things like that. Lead. We have to get I don't know. We got to do something

get I don't know. We got to do something has to start to be different. I feel

has to start to be different. I feel like the greatest teachers teach without

like the greatest teachers teach without teaching. Yeah, you're right. The

teaching. Yeah, you're right. The greatest teachers teach without

greatest teachers teach without teaching. So when the student is ready

teaching. So when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear.

to learn, the teacher will appear. You'll be amazed where wisdom could come

You'll be amazed where wisdom could come from.

from. Yeah, even the homeless person standing

Yeah, even the homeless person standing on the street corner, it smell bad. The

on the street corner, it smell bad. The person that you would be afraid to the

person that you would be afraid to the person that you would look down upon,

person that you would look down upon, one of those people, the wisdom and the

one of those people, the wisdom and the knowledge that they can imputee, you

knowledge that they can imputee, you would be amazed.

Oh yeah, they got bars over there. Hey, I don't care what you do with the money.

I don't care what you do with the money. Just here I I committed an act of

Just here I I committed an act of giving. He's just going to buy drugs

giving. He's just going to buy drugs with it. Hey, I committed an act of

with it. Hey, I committed an act of giving. Whatever he do, that's his

giving. Whatever he do, that's his choice. Now, one lady made me mad though

choice. Now, one lady made me mad though cuz she was holding a sign talking about

cuz she was holding a sign talking about she'll work for food. And I gave her a

she'll work for food. And I gave her a sandwich and she put it in her book set.

sandwich and she put it in her book set. And then I said, "You know what? Maybe

And then I said, "You know what? Maybe she had children to go feed." But I

she had children to go feed." But I don't know like Yeah. She what she

don't know like Yeah. She what she thinks you going to sell it or

thinks you going to sell it or something? Maybe you had children to go

something? Maybe you had children to go feed or something. So I was like I did

feed or something. So I was like I did overreact cuz I got pissed off. Kevin,

overreact cuz I got pissed off. Kevin, not everybody eats immediately when you

not everybody eats immediately when you serve them. I mean, you know, maybe she

serve them. I mean, you know, maybe she was saving it for later. I don't know.

was saving it for later. I don't know. So maybe she got baby birds in a nest or

So maybe she got baby birds in a nest or something. I don't know. Maybe she got

something. I don't know. Maybe she got saving it for her kids or something. And

saving it for her kids or something. And I just said, "You know what? I ain't

I just said, "You know what? I ain't tripping. Whatever you do with it is on

tripping. Whatever you do with it is on you. I committed an act of giving."

you. I committed an act of giving." Probably. So, Kevin. I bet. Yeah. I

Probably. So, Kevin. I bet. Yeah. I think she probably doing something nice.

think she probably doing something nice. Hopefully. I hope so. Yeah. I bet she

Hopefully. I hope so. Yeah. I bet she was. I hope you ain't take advantage of

was. I hope you ain't take advantage of me. But if you did, that's if you did,

me. But if you did, that's if you did, that's your caric bag. Right. I did. I

that's your caric bag. Right. I did. I did the right thing. Right. I did what I

did the right thing. Right. I did what I did. Yeah. Kind of like, man, I think

did. Yeah. Kind of like, man, I think one interesting thing is like Yeah.

one interesting thing is like Yeah. Yeah, we just we need we got to have

Yeah, we just we need we got to have leaders making things cool, you know. I

leaders making things cool, you know. I think it's why it's one to me and this

think it's why it's one to me and this might be

might be I guess I'm afraid to say this probably

I guess I'm afraid to say this probably cuz it's probably ready, set go. I think

cuz it's probably ready, set go. I think it's cool that to have a black man say

it's cool that to have a black man say something about that because black

something about that because black people notoriously I feel like make

people notoriously I feel like make things cool, right? Like people go to

things cool, right? Like people go to the black community to make something

the black community to make something cool. Like you give a you give a metal

cool. Like you give a you give a metal plate in a to somebody in a black

plate in a to somebody in a black community, the next thing they got a rim

community, the next thing they got a rim out of it. You know what I'm saying? and

out of it. You know what I'm saying? and make things cool. So, I think to hear a

make things cool. So, I think to hear a a black creativity thrives in the

a black creativity thrives in the darkness. Okay. Per well said. You

darkness. Okay. Per well said. You didn't say anything wrong. Okay. So, I

didn't say anything wrong. Okay. So, I think to hear a black guy say that to

think to hear a black guy say that to act certain ways. Yeah. I think that

act certain ways. Yeah. I think that makes it cool because we all take I feel

makes it cool because we all take I feel like a lot of culture comes from what's

like a lot of culture comes from what's cool comes from the black community.

cool comes from the black community. Creativity thrives in the darkness. So,

Creativity thrives in the darkness. So, I just So, you're not saying nothing

I just So, you're not saying nothing wrong. Okay. Yeah. I think it's Yeah.

wrong. Okay. Yeah. I think it's Yeah. makes it cool, you know, and we need we

makes it cool, you know, and we need we need things that like I think have moral

need things that like I think have moral value and integrity to be cool. Like

value and integrity to be cool. Like like I watch anime because they have

like I watch anime because they have more moralistic value than regular

more moralistic value than regular movies. Yeah. So I watch a lot of anime.

movies. Yeah. So I watch a lot of anime. I don't watch a lot of it. Israel

I don't watch a lot of it. Israel Adosana watches a lot of it. You know

Adosana watches a lot of it. You know who he is? UFC fighter. The Last Style

who he is? UFC fighter. The Last Style Bender. Yeah. He's incredible, dude. The

Bender. Yeah. He's incredible, dude. The Last Style Bender. Yeah. You and him was

Last Style Bender. Yeah. You and him was you and him would be such a neat I mean

you and him would be such a neat I mean you guys are I mean both humans so

you guys are I mean both humans so whatever I don't want to talk about um

whatever I don't want to talk about um I'm trying to think of anything else we

I'm trying to think of anything else we want to talk about. You have a new tour

want to talk about. You have a new tour coming up. Yeah I had a new tour coming

coming up. Yeah I had a new tour coming up. I got coffee. You had a new album

up. I got coffee. You had a new album that came out on my birthday. I think

that came out on my birthday. I think March 19th or something you had one come

March 19th or something you had one come out. I'm here. No I'm him too. I'm him

out. I'm here. No I'm him too. I'm him too. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Is there

too. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Is there anything else that you wanted to talk

anything else that you wanted to talk about today? If um if anybody watched

about today? If um if anybody watched this and they gained any insight, uh I'm

this and they gained any insight, uh I'm grateful for that. If you didn't gain

grateful for that. If you didn't gain any insight, I could give a [ __ ] less.

Uh that's fair. That's it. That's all. Right. That's it. That's all. Whenever I

Right. That's it. That's all. Whenever I drop a album, I'm like, "Get it if you

drop a album, I'm like, "Get it if you want to get it. If you don't, don't get

want to get it. If you don't, don't get it." Like, I'm not here to force you. If

it." Like, I'm not here to force you. If you want to get it, if you don't want to

you want to get it, if you don't want to get it, don't get it. is already gonna

get it, don't get it. is already gonna do what it's gonna do. Yeah. I didn't do

do what it's gonna do. Yeah. I didn't do I can say this this album that I put out

I can say this this album that I put out this last one I was proud of it. Usually

this last one I was proud of it. Usually I'm upset when a project come out. I'm

I'm upset when a project come out. I'm like I wasn't happy at this and this and

like I wasn't happy at this and this and that. Whenever a release, but this time

that. Whenever a release, but this time I was like I celebrated myself the whole

I was like I celebrated myself the whole way through and I was like man I love

way through and I was like man I love this project. Like my other projects, I

this project. Like my other projects, I go back and appreciate them after the

go back and appreciate them after the next one come out. But now this one, I'm

next one come out. But now this one, I'm like, nah, I [ __ ] with this one all the

like, nah, I [ __ ] with this one all the way through. Why do you think that was?

way through. Why do you think that was? Cuz I'm in a different space.

Cuz I'm in a different space. Like, I don't make depression music

Like, I don't make depression music anymore. And then if I do make

anymore. And then if I do make depression music, I'm just venting. It's

depression music, I'm just venting. It's my therapeutic release. I got it all

my therapeutic release. I got it all out. I know there's somebody out there

out. I know there's somebody out there that could relate to what I'm going

that could relate to what I'm going through, but this is how we combat that.

through, but this is how we combat that. That's onward and upward. That's it.

That's onward and upward. That's it. That's all. I don't stay stuck in a

That's all. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. No. Yeah. I don't stay

sunken place. No. Yeah. I don't stay stuck in a I don't stay stuck. I don't

stuck in a I don't stay stuck. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. I don't

stay stuck in a sunken place. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. Amen.

stay stuck in a sunken place. Amen. I'mma snap out of it quick. That's it.

I'mma snap out of it quick. That's it. Nothing changes if nothing changes. They

Nothing changes if nothing changes. They say nothing changes if nothing changes.

say nothing changes if nothing changes. Yes, sir. Kevin Gates, man, the proud of

Yes, sir. Kevin Gates, man, the proud of Louisiana. Uh thank you so much, man,

Louisiana. Uh thank you so much, man, for spending time with me today, man.

for spending time with me today, man. It's a blessing. I really appreciate it.

It's a blessing. I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me. And I just want

Thank you for having me. And I just want to tell you this sincerely. I mean it

to tell you this sincerely. I mean it sincerely. Hey, thank you for being you.

sincerely. Hey, thank you for being you. This was like the most different type of

This was like the most different type of interview, podcast, whatever you want to

interview, podcast, whatever you want to call it. It was just like

call it. It was just like we just talking [ __ ] But it was

we just talking [ __ ] But it was beautiful cuz not too many people could

beautiful cuz not too many people could see me

see me like really see me. Yeah. And I just

like really see me. Yeah. And I just appreciate you for that. Usually when I

appreciate you for that. Usually when I go places, I have to meet the person at

go places, I have to meet the person at the level of the person. I had to see

the level of the person. I had to see where they at and just But with this, it

where they at and just But with this, it was like the transparency was beautiful.

was like the transparency was beautiful. It was refreshing talking to you. Like I

It was refreshing talking to you. Like I lost track of time. If you ever watch

lost track of time. If you ever watch when I go other places, I have to meet

when I go other places, I have to meet the person at the level they at. And I

the person at the level they at. And I hate what I'm about to say, but it's the

hate what I'm about to say, but it's the truth. I look at my watch to keep time.

truth. I look at my watch to keep time. I didn't do that one time here cuz it

I didn't do that one time here cuz it was refreshing.

was refreshing. This is refreshing. Well, I appreciate

This is refreshing. Well, I appreciate you sharing yourself with the world,

you sharing yourself with the world, sharing what's going on in your head and

sharing what's going on in your head and your spirit with the world, man. It's

your spirit with the world, man. It's been some of the things you say make me

been some of the things you say make me think and I and I appreciate that

think and I and I appreciate that because I think uh me having a taking

because I think uh me having a taking time to think is is more important than

time to think is is more important than uh than I knew it needed to be for

uh than I knew it needed to be for myself.

myself. Yeah. So, thank you very much, Mr.

Yeah. So, thank you very much, Mr. Gates. Thank you for having me. Now, I'm

Gates. Thank you for having me. Now, I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel

just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be

I'm falling like these leaves. I must be corner stone.

corner stone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can

share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my

feel it in my [Music]

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YouTube Transcript:Kevin Gates | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #593

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Kevin Gates | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #593