0:02 We're getting into the final shows for
0:04 the return of the rat tour. Gosh, this
0:09 rat is almost fully returned. Um July
0:10 9th, we'll be in Philadelphia, Rochester,
0:12 Rochester,
0:15 uh New York on July 10th. Then we're in
0:17 Detroit after that. Uh moving on, we're
0:21 in Los Angeles, Anaheim, uh at the Honda
0:24 Center in Oceanside, California. Uh you
0:31 and uh just thank you so much uh for
0:34 your support. Today's guest is a
0:37 musician out of Baton Rou
0:40 out the boot. He crosses many genres
0:43 like rap, R&B, soul. He does it all.
0:48 This dog, he a 101. He a 101.
0:50 He's got a new album on the way, Luca
0:54 Brassi 4, and he's heading out on a huge
0:57 tour this October. I'm grateful to sit
1:02 down with my Louisiana amigo, Mr. Kevin Gates.
1:21 [Music]
1:23 Yeah, that's tough, man. Yeah, I got
1:26 this from uh I collect these kind of
1:27 hats. I bought two of them this time because
1:29 because
1:32 I put dents in them. Really? Every time
1:34 I travel. What? Just traveling, setting
1:36 it somewhere. Yeah. And they get
1:38 smooshed every time. Yeah. Yeah. A hat
1:39 is kind of hard to take care of. That's
1:41 the only thing I don't love about a hat.
1:42 Like if I'm on a plane, I'll put it and
1:44 then I'll take a nap. It'll fall off the
1:46 seat or something. Every time. Um yeah,
1:49 you look sharp, man. Thank you.
1:51 Recently, I started feeling in my own
1:53 life, man. I wish that I dressed up a
1:55 little bit more.
1:58 I just It's like how you do anything is
2:01 how you do everything. So I'm like I
2:04 prepare to for something great to
2:06 happen. Every time I leave the house, I
2:08 prepare for something great to happen.
2:10 Like even when I go to the gym, I
2:12 prepare for something great to happen.
2:14 Yeah, that's an energy. I think I just
2:15 started thinking that like, yeah, I want
2:17 to I want to just because then I want to
2:20 be excited about how I even look, you
2:24 know? Like I never I mean I only got
2:26 Well, I got multiple suits, but I only
2:30 got like four color that I wear. I got a
2:32 gray suit, got like three or four of
2:34 them, got like three or four black
2:36 suits, got like three or four navy
2:40 suits, and I got like three or four.
2:42 They like different shades, so I'd say
2:45 like a tan and a darker tan. You like
2:49 them? Yeah. I I just love suits. I love
2:51 them. They look fly. You've always been
2:52 pretty stylish, actually. I remember you
2:54 and I went to a Super Bowl together. I
2:55 don't know if you remembered it or not.
2:56 Yeah, that's when I had the turtleneck
2:58 on with the slack. Yeah. That's when I
3:00 realized I was like, "Oh, Kevin's doing
3:01 something different." Because you hear
3:03 rumors about Kevin. You hear people
3:06 like, "Kevin, you know, Kevin." Yeah.
3:07 He's staring at the moon. Kevin out
3:10 there. He, you know, he he hiding in the
3:12 tree branches and stuff. You hear a lot
3:13 of rumors like that, you know, like
3:15 shooting my bow and arrow. I do that a
3:17 lot. He's out there. He babysitting bats
3:18 or something. Oh, excuse me. Shout out
3:22 to Mike at uh at Cabelas. He's your guy?
3:24 Yeah. He the one who um he he he dialed
3:27 my bow and arrow in for me. like dialed
3:29 it in like set the sights on it for me.
3:31 I haven't used one. But yeah, you hear
3:32 everything about that. Kevin Gates, he's
3:34 out there. He breastfeeding pelicans and
3:36 stuff like that. You hear a lot of the
3:39 mystery, right? The lore. And I love the
3:41 lore cuz it makes things really it's
3:44 like advertising without you really
3:46 doing anything in a way except being
3:48 yourself. But I remember we were on a
3:50 like a limo bus. They were taking us to
3:52 the Super Bowl. Everybody's on their
3:54 phones and something like that. Kevin
3:56 just sitting there just look you look
3:58 like the happiest guy in the thing. It's
4:00 um it's this thing I do called breath
4:03 work and
4:05 I think I said it one time in another
4:08 interview but like I'm super into like
4:11 Navy Seals and [ __ ] I like watch
4:14 don't don't don't think I'm weird, but I
4:16 am. Oh yeah. I just sit there and watch
4:18 like videos of like the training that
4:21 they do and I watch people take the Navy
4:23 Seal test and fail and then try to come
4:25 back and do it. And I just watch that
4:26 [ __ ] and I'll be watching like David
4:29 Gogggins and and [ __ ] like that. And
4:31 it's like, you know, the first thing
4:33 they teach them how to do is breathe. So
4:36 that's why I be doing the box breathing
4:38 and it really help with anxiety. Explain
4:42 it to me. You you inhale for 4 seconds.
4:44 It's like you pretend like you're
4:46 looking at a box. You inhale for 4
4:49 seconds, you hold it, you exhale for 4
4:51 seconds, and then you hold it. And it
4:55 keep you super calm. H. And does it get
4:56 a little scary? At certain points are
4:58 hard to remember. I guess you just get
5:00 used to the pattern. If it if it if you
5:02 ever get off, you just reconnect to your
5:04 breath cuz you going to talk, you going
5:06 to interrupt yourself, but then you
5:08 reconnect to your breath and it keep you
5:12 calm like no anxiety. Yeah. Oh yeah. I
5:14 get I get rattled pretty easy and I'm an
5:16 overinker. Like especially if I'm about
5:20 to go somewhere like I put
5:23 unrealistic expectations on myself about
5:26 the outcome. Yeah. And we say that we
5:28 and I might say that I'm going in there
5:31 with a positive attitude, but Oh, I want
5:32 to know everything. I want to know how
5:34 it's going to go. I want to be able to
5:36 like make sure I'm okay no matter what's
5:37 going on. I knew this [ __ ] was going to
5:39 be cool cuz I was already around you at
5:41 the Super Bowl. I like, man, that dude crazy.
5:43 crazy.
5:44 Oh, I don't think anybody could out
5:46 crazy you at this point, Kevin. You done
5:48 lost. I say, man, that dude. You lost
5:50 everybody, man. Second's a little hot.
5:52 Yeah, it's going to be a little hot. And
5:53 you can maybe scooch to your left just a
5:54 little bit. Do we have any ice? We don't
5:57 have any. I don't need no ice. I'm good.
5:59 Okay. I like I was kind of nervous to
6:01 talk to you cuz I I've known of you. You
6:02 know, I'm from Louisiana, so I known
6:04 about you like Louisiana bread. Even
6:06 growing up, I remember the first time I
6:07 ever heard about you, some this girl I
6:09 was talking to from Bogaloosa was like,
6:11 "Have you heard of Kevin Gates?" And I
6:13 thought it was a subdivision.
6:17 And it is. It is really
6:19 damn I didn't know. Like it is now Kevin
6:21 Gates. Damn. I said, "I don't know. I
6:23 don't know. You know, I got a friend
6:25 that lives in Meadow Brook or whatever,
6:26 but I never been over there." And she's
6:28 like, "No, you have to hear some of what
6:31 this guy's doing." And it was intense.
6:32 It remind the first time I listened to
6:34 your music, it reminded me the first
6:37 time I saw UFC, I was like some of this
6:39 stuff is a little too hard for me, you
6:42 know, a cuz it's you your stuff is very
6:44 it's not all of it, but some of it's a
6:46 it's graphic. It is real. It's very
6:47 really is really raw. That's my
6:50 perception of it. Um but so that's how I
6:51 got introduced to you obviously was just
6:54 from being in Louisiana. Um do you miss
6:56 those days in Louisiana coming up? What
6:57 was that like for you just kind of
6:59 coming up when you look back on it now?
7:01 I'm grateful for Louisiana because it
7:03 made me everything that I am right now. And
7:05 And
7:08 the things that we cherish, other people
7:10 don't really cherish when you go other
7:12 places. And then with us having that
7:14 southern hospitality like yes sir, no
7:16 sir, don't call me that. You make me
7:18 feel old when you go other places. But
7:19 we used to catch whoopings for not
7:22 saying yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no
7:24 ma'am. Yeah. You know, I have been beat
7:27 with extension cords and whatever they
7:29 could find. Yeah. Oh yeah. Go get a
7:31 branch off the tree. Go get something.
7:32 Oh, dude. My mother would beat me with
7:34 my younger siblings. She would I like
7:36 god damn both of us getting it. Grab
7:38 them by the ankle. Yeah. Like, damn.
7:41 What? Um, what was what were some of
7:43 like Did you ever did you get to work
7:44 with other artists? I know people ask
7:45 you that kind of stuff all the time, but
7:47 growing up like when I was coming up,
7:50 they had like uh Mr. P uh Master P,
7:53 Mystical. Um, me and Master P did a song
7:56 together and I didn't done I didn't work
7:58 with Wayne. We talking about only
8:00 Louisiana. Yeah. I'm just talking about
8:02 kind of that that time. I work with Lil
8:06 Wayne. I didn't work with Master P. Um,
8:08 if you want to go currently, I didn't
8:10 work with Fredo Bang. NBA Young Boy
8:13 Tech. Um, oh yeah, I heard that song you
8:16 got with Young Boy. I just heard it the
8:20 other day. I Who you say I am? Yeah.
8:23 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They had I'm trying to
8:24 think. Oh, Partners in Crime. Remember
8:27 them? Yeah. It's that new Mr. I mean, I
8:28 wet that. I can't go. Dude, they had
8:30 Partners in Crime. UNLV. Oh, was that
8:33 UNLV? Pump the Pump the Party. UNLV.
8:35 They had um I'm trying to think of who
8:37 else we Oh, Mystical was the bet.
8:39 Mystical was great, bro. I like that
8:42 [ __ ] I want that boot camp. Danger.
8:44 Yeah, I like that. B me again. He kind
8:45 of had his own thing and he had those
8:48 horns in it. Yeah. If we going that way,
8:50 I like Fiend, Mr. Magic. I liked all I
8:52 liked everything that was coming out.
8:55 Oh, you got to say Soldier Slim. Oh
8:58 yeah. You got to say Soldier Slay. I
8:59 didn't I don't Somebody didn't put me on
9:01 to a lot of Soldier Sled. You got to say
9:03 Stone and Le. You got to say the D Boys.
9:05 You got to say all of them. I think some
9:07 of that I didn't get put on then. Yeah.
9:09 But I love Dude, that was a special
9:11 time. I felt like in Louisiana because
9:13 every all there was so many eyes were
9:15 focused on it. They had like just so
9:17 much sound coming out of there. Still
9:21 do. Yeah. The sound different. Oh yeah.
9:22 Well, things have changed so much. But
9:25 at that time, I just felt like I don't
9:26 know, there was something really
9:28 spectacular about it at that time. We
9:30 still got our own signature song.
9:33 Louisiana, like that's where the flavor
9:36 at. Like you get a you get a a container
9:38 of juice and you sit it on the table,
9:40 the flavor falls to the bottom. You have
9:42 to shake it up for the flavor to go to
9:44 the top. Yeah. The flavor always stays
9:47 at the bottom. Yeah. The bottom of the
9:50 map. That's it. The bottom of the map,
9:52 man. The bottom of the boot. Yeah, dude.
9:54 I love that time. That was a special
9:56 time growing up, man. What was the
9:58 styles that y'all had? And Arcte and Cuz
10:00 in Coington, we had like Jabbo jeans,
10:02 polo with the big horse. Remember,
10:04 people will wear that sometimes. He
10:06 figure I went polo crazy. I went polo
10:08 crazy. I could see that. I went polo
10:09 crazy. I can see that. Dead caps,
10:14 college, jab, jabos. Um, I did Air Force
10:16 Ones, but my thing was the Adidas Stan
10:18 Smiths. Oh yeah, I did the Adidas Stan
10:20 Smiths. I almost wore those today. All
10:24 day I dream about steaks. Yeah, dude. It
10:26 was some that was a great time, bro. I
10:27 mean, it's all times are great, but that
10:28 was a special time. It's just something
10:30 you and I could, you know, we both have
10:31 a little bit of similarity of that.
10:34 Yeah, I was born in ' 86, so Yeah,
10:35 you're younger than me. What would you
10:37 ever get to see Mystical around the way
10:39 or No. Uhuh. I seen him a few times when
10:41 he was out of prison, but I haven't seen
10:43 him since then. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying
10:45 to think of I remember we go to the rec
10:48 center over at BR uh Baton Rouge by LSU.
10:50 Yeah. and uh Master P and his they would
10:53 be in there playing ball uh with like
10:55 Silk. Not I don't know if C murder might
10:56 have been in and out of there, but they
10:58 definitely had Silk was in there. Yeah,
11:00 Silk stay out here now. Does he? Yeah, I
11:03 be seeing him at 24 24-hour fitness.
11:05 Let's go. Every now and then when I used
11:08 to go there. Yeah, to see him in that
11:10 hooping. Still hooping. Yeah, that was a
11:12 special time though, man. That was a big
11:14 like explosion for I felt like uh for
11:18 Louisiana rap. Um, when you think of
11:19 like I know you there was a lot of
11:20 hustling and stuff when you grew up.
11:22 What do you what was it like like the
11:24 hustle? Like what when people say I had
11:26 to hustle a lot when I was young like
11:28 what does that mean exactly? Hustle.
11:30 Yeah, I know what it means like you have
11:32 to grind. You got to stay busy. You got
11:33 to figure things out. You got to be
11:35 locked in and you got to be focused.
11:36 Whatever your hustle is, you got to give
11:39 it 110%. Cuz being from Louisiana ain't
11:41 really nothing to do but die, go to
11:44 jail. Yeah. So whatever it is that you
11:46 focus on, you got to be locked in. Like
11:48 juvenile say, we snatched all the holes
11:50 and bowls and retennies. We didn't give
11:54 a [ __ ] if we ball for three minutes.
11:57 I might have said it backwards. That's
11:59 Look, man, we we can edit it into the
12:02 correct format. Um, what was your what
12:04 was some of your hustles as a youngster?
12:05 What kind of hustling did you have to do
12:07 personally? I started off washing
12:09 clothes. Yeah. What? Just like in the
12:11 yard, you to put up a sign or you get
12:13 like a Uh-uh. I started off working at
12:16 um they got a they got a car wash on
12:19 corset and that was my first job washing
12:21 cars with that like they had an inside
12:24 and outside. Yeah, inside and outside. I
12:27 started on a vacuum. Yeah. And then I
12:28 start being like once it come through
12:31 the washer you dry it off and that's how
12:33 I learned how to get the fender well get
12:34 the fender wells and the door jambs
12:37 last. Oh yeah. Why? Because that's where
12:39 all the dirt at. So if you drying the
12:41 car, you got to dry the body of the car
12:43 first. Then you go back and get the fend
12:44 go back and get the door jambs and the
12:46 fender wells last. That's where all the
12:48 dirt at. Cuz otherwise you're going to
12:49 get the rag dirty and put it everywhere.
12:52 You going to put dirt on the Yeah. Yeah.
12:53 And then even when you And then even
12:56 when you wipe the rims, you hold a towel
12:58 and wipe the rims. You spray the You
13:00 spray the tie off, but you hold the tile
13:02 and wipe the rims on the inside. Clean
13:05 them real good. Yeah. And the best thing
13:06 to clean windows, I mean the wipe
13:09 windows with is newspaper. Oh yeah. No
13:11 streaks. Yeah. Why was that? I wonder. I
13:13 don't know. I know it don't leave no
13:15 streaks. Make it look good. Yeah. That
13:16 was nice, dude. Yeah. When I was growing
13:18 up, washing your car was one of the It
13:20 was one of the best things you could do.
13:22 Of course. Could you lead that thing
13:25 felt beautiful, boy? That was your That
13:28 was your That was your office. Yeah.
13:30 That was your That was your escape.
13:31 Ain't nothing like a little late night
13:35 ride. Waffle House. Yeah. Uhhuh. Dude, I
13:38 remember exactly if I lit if I lit a
13:40 cigarette at this one point right when I
13:42 take off out of work, it would get me
13:44 all the way home. I pull up right into
13:45 the driveway when that cigarette was
13:47 done. It was like this perfect kind of
13:49 like kind of seance that I had in my
13:52 life. I love that. That was your first
13:54 car? My first car was an 84 Ford Escort.
13:56 That [ __ ] was chill. But somebody My
13:58 first car was a Nissan Sentra. Yeah.
14:00 Really? What year was it? I don't know.
14:03 The old one. the old old one. Pull pull
14:07 one up. Just pull up a uh pull up a the
14:10 tan one. Pull up pull up pull up pull up
14:12 a 1990. Let's see what they got. Let's
14:15 see if we close on it.
14:17 That Nissan I was a little newer than
14:18 that. Nuhuh. Yeah, that's a little too
14:23 old. Pull up a uh pull up a 2001.
14:25 That's it right there. Oh yeah, that
14:29 [ __ ] tasted boy. God.
14:31 And so so your first hustle was car
14:32 washing and did you get into stuff in
14:33 the streets? Did you get into stuff that
14:36 was kind of illegal type of stuff or No.
14:38 Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Not nothing
14:40 major, but a little bit. I did a list of
14:42 them. Yeah. Was it does it feel like if
14:44 you grow up in certain areas that you
14:46 have to do that?
14:49 You going to want to. Them the only
14:51 people getting money, right? That's who
14:55 the girls like. Yeah.
14:56 Oh yeah. That girl's like somebody got a
14:59 little bit of cash. Like like I remember
15:01 telling uh Gilly and Wow, I was like,
15:04 "Man, when I was young, I remember all I
15:06 wanted was a car, some money, a
15:09 girlfriend, and a gun." Yeah. Cuz that's
15:12 all you see. Oh yeah. Yeah. I got to
15:14 pull out a bankroll. That was just, you
15:17 know, just to show it off. Then they
15:19 start then they start calling it racks.
15:22 Yeah. Yeah. We got racks. It was It went
15:25 from stacks to racks.
15:27 Yeah, I think the name the Do you think
15:29 like like over the years you hear like
15:31 things have changed like the hood, the
15:35 block, uh the trenches, the mud? Like it
15:36 all there's always kind of this
15:38 evolution of the name. I feel like I
15:41 mean we always I call it the section.
15:43 Yeah. They from the section. They from
15:46 our section. Yeah. Are they from out the
15:49 section? Yeah. Like if somebody if if
15:52 you from my section or you from my area
15:54 where I'm at at the time and I'm oh yeah
15:56 he from out the section right or I'mma
15:59 ask who or say I'm just coming home from
16:00 jail and I see new faces like who that
16:02 is they from out the section. Yeah
16:04 that's such and such people or that's
16:06 such and such people. You know what I'm
16:08 saying? Yeah. Do you feel like do you
16:10 have to live in fear like in like in the
16:12 section do you feel like in a black area
16:13 do you have to live in fear? Did it feel
16:16 like No, cuz it's
16:18 anything that you do every day is going
16:20 to feel regular to you. You know,
16:24 anything that is new to you. Say if it's
16:26 new, if it's new, okay, you going to be
16:28 a little apprehensive. You know what I'm
16:29 saying? So, you going to have to sit
16:31 back, scope it out, and then you fall
16:34 in. You know, you in the mix now. But if
16:35 you grew up in them type of
16:37 environments, it ain't going to feel
16:38 like somewhat dangerous. It's going to
16:42 feel like home. Oh, yeah. So whatever go
16:44 on, it just went on, right? You don't
16:46 know any, but from the outside looking
16:48 in, it's like, oh god, it's so horrible
16:51 there. But when you in it, it's like,
16:53 man, that's my people. This my auntie,
16:56 this my cousin, this, you know, this is
16:59 the culture. Yeah. It's like, right, a
17:00 fish don't know it's in water really.
17:03 It's family. You know what I'm saying?
17:04 Do you think because you always hear
17:05 over the years, you hear like we got to
17:07 change these areas, right? You hear like
17:08 you'll have people, we got to make
17:10 things safer. you got to change these
17:14 areas. Um do you think that the people
17:16 actually in those communities do you
17:18 think they really want those communities
17:20 to change or that is if given the
17:21 opportunity does the question make any
17:23 sense to you or no it make a lot if
17:26 given the opportunity anybody would do
17:30 better right people do a man uh yeah
17:34 this a wise quote a man is what he know
17:36 not what he's told
17:38 and I'll say it in like uh vernacular a
17:41 man is what he knows and not what he's
17:44 told you are what you know, not what you
17:46 told. You are what you do, not what you
17:48 say you'll do. So, I could sit around
17:49 and somebody could tell me, man, you
17:51 know what? You should change and you
17:53 should do this and there's so many other
17:54 opportunities, but if I never been
17:57 exposed to these opportunities, all I
17:59 know is what I know, right? And that's
18:01 like that's what recidivism, that's
18:04 people that repeat offenders, habitual
18:06 offenders, because it's recidivism
18:08 because they don't know anything but
18:10 what they know. And I was like that. I
18:12 was locked in, focused on one thing till
18:15 I started experiencing other things and
18:17 I broadened my horizon. I opened my
18:19 mind. Yeah. Oh, I've I've watched a lot
18:21 of uh interviews with you, man, and a
18:22 lot of it's been really fascinating,
18:24 man. I feel really thankful that you're
18:28 here today. took a uh ambient. I just I
18:31 just read about a um I just read about
18:34 Lagouna Beach like
18:38 this was in 200
18:41 maybe 10. Yeah. Or 11 cuz I read a lot
18:43 of like vampire novels and all of that.
18:46 Oh damn. Yeah. Like I'm a I read a lot.
18:49 I'm a record of reader. So it's this was
18:51 like way in 20 maybe 10 or 11 that I
18:53 read a book. When I was reading the
18:54 book, they was talking about going to
18:57 Lagouna Beach. Last weekend, I just took
18:59 my son to Lagona Beach for his birthday.
19:02 So, it was like a kind of like a bucket
19:04 list. Not a bucket list, but I was like,
19:06 it'll be cool to go there. Like even
19:08 like with Palm Springs, I read about
19:10 Palm Springs before and I just passed
19:11 through Palm Springs and they had
19:14 vampires that were there and the uh
19:16 Relle me got this vampire academy and
19:18 one of the schools that they went to was
19:20 in Palm Springs. Damn, boy. They said
19:22 probably older gay vampires probably
19:25 over there. I don't know. But it was so
19:27 crazy that you say that. It's because
19:30 when you given the opportunity to do
19:32 better, you will. If you never given
19:34 that opportunity, you're not going to do
19:35 better. We could say, "Yeah, you just
19:37 got to overcome and stay focused and
19:40 lock in." I think me, the beautiful
19:43 thing about Kevin Casease is I have a
19:45 very adventurous spirit and I'mma try
19:48 something. Like I I love to try new
19:50 things cuz it's how you create new
19:53 neuropaths. Like even if you even if you
19:55 did it and you didn't like it, you still
19:57 had the experience. So you created like
19:59 new neuropaths cuz if you do the the
20:01 same thing every day, you become
20:03 stagnant in the mind. You just Yeah. You
20:05 become a robot. You become a culde-sac
20:07 too. Your own culde-sac. Yeah. Like
20:09 that's like that's my biggest fear is
20:11 being complacent. I don't ever want to
20:13 get stuck. So I did that. I went to the
20:15 beach and it was like it unlocked a few
20:18 things for me. It was like we just took
20:19 a road trip. It was nothing but like 2
20:22 hours, but we did it. We did it. Yeah.
20:23 We did something different. We did
20:25 something different. Yeah. Cuz I wonder
20:27 sometimes like cuz you always like, you
20:29 know, like a lot of neighborhoods,
20:30 especially if it's like impoverished
20:31 neighborhoods, you know, they say that
20:33 type of thing. Predominantly black and
20:36 predominantly black neighborhoods. It's
20:38 like it's also those neighborhoods that
20:40 give a lot of the culture its flavor and
20:42 give it its story, right?
20:44 or some of its story, right? People say
20:46 like, "I came out of this. I came
20:48 through this." Right? So sometimes I
20:51 just wonder like it's a it's a bless.
20:53 It's the people that are blessed. I say
20:55 that because you're looking at people
20:58 that grew up in hardship and the
21:00 roughest conditions ever. But we made
21:03 the best of what we had. And we didn't
21:05 even know we was poor till we saw rich
21:07 people. Yeah. That's like when you go to
21:08 other countries, third world countries,
21:10 they don't even know they poor till they
21:11 see people with more than what they
21:13 have. Like I was telling somebody one
21:16 time, we just wanted a car and then once
21:18 we saw the Bentley, we wanted the
21:19 Bentley and then we wanted this and we
21:21 wanted that because we saw it. But to
21:24 answer your question about the people
21:26 that come through that, I believe it's a
21:29 right of passage. It's like a It's like a
21:30 a
21:34 It's like the movie Leonitis when the
21:35 boy went off into the wilderness and he
21:39 came back a man. Like we don't have no
21:41 father figures or none of that in the
21:43 house. We come from mostly single mother
21:46 or your mom at work, your grandmother
21:48 raised you, things of that nature. And
21:50 we had to go out there and just find our
21:53 way. So it was like a right of passage.
21:55 And the beautiful thing about me is I
21:57 had beautiful people in my life that
21:59 kind of helped guide me and lead me and
22:02 steer me in the right direction. Yeah, I
22:04 made mistakes. I bumped my head and I
22:06 appreciate every one of them cuz they
22:09 made me this. But to answer that
22:11 question, it's I look at it more like a
22:13 right of passage.
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25:02 Thank you.
25:04 But a lot of time when we be having like
25:07 our our body just really needs salt.
25:09 Yeah. We be dehydrated. You know, I
25:11 noticed that happens more often. I feel
25:12 like when I was a kid, you didn't hear
25:14 anybody talk about dehydration and now I
25:15 feel like people talk about it every day
25:18 cuz we ate salt. We cooked with
25:20 seasoning. Louisiana seasoning. That's a
25:22 good point. People ask, you don't hear
25:24 people down there talking about you
25:28 dehydrated, you eat a pickle.
25:30 Country boy can't survive. Yeah, bro.
25:32 That was it. Country boy can't survive.
25:34 That's a good point. Everybody had gout,
25:37 too. Everybody had sugar pressure, gout,
25:39 salt pressure, everything. Country boy
25:42 can't survive. Everything. That was it.
25:46 Um, you were a practicing Muslim. Yeah,
25:48 I'm a Muslim. Nice. It's nice to see you
25:50 today. Um I Oh, like you talking about
25:52 what I got on? No, I think you Oh, no.
25:54 This ain't got No, it doesn't look like
26:01 my bad. [Laughter]
26:04 [Laughter]
26:08 No, cuz I got the bow tie.
26:17 I'm so not sorry. Please forgive me.
26:20 Nuhuh. I didn't know what did you mean
26:21 because you thought cuz I thought the
26:23 bow tie
26:27 cuz the irony it's ironic that I got the
26:31 bow tie on you. I'm not that kind. But
26:34 um Dave Chappelle said I'm not good at
26:37 it, but you know I I do the best I do
26:40 the best I can. You know. No, I didn't
26:43 know. I thought No, I feel like
26:44 I didn't know what I thought. I just
26:46 felt like, "Dang, Kevin." Yeah. I
26:49 thought you just seem like a uh It's
26:52 okay. Okay. It's okay. Dang, that's
26:54 hilarious. It was just funny cuz I I had
26:58 to That's one thing I like like I
27:00 possessed the ability to laugh at
27:03 myself. And once I developed the ability
27:05 to laugh at myself, life became so much
27:08 more easier. Like if I if I slip and
27:10 fall Yeah. Like every time we step
27:14 outside, we being judged. Mhm. You know,
27:17 if you went to school and you had to Oh,
27:20 God. I got to say it. I got not to get
27:23 off subject. I used to hate free dress
27:26 day at school. Uniform saved my life.
27:29 Really? Yeah. But why you couldn't
27:31 handle it? Sh. I ain't had no clothes.
27:33 Oh, damn.
27:35 Yeah. You just wore a uniform again like
27:38 Kevin, man. for free dress day. I wore
27:40 my mama I wore a pair of my mama jeans
27:43 to build school and a old and a old time
27:46 of he figure shirt and the same shoes I
27:47 had been wearing to school the whole
27:50 time. Man, they teased me forever. Then
27:51 you know how you got the faded part on
27:53 the knees? Yeah. They was like, "Why
27:54 your knees white? What you been on your
27:56 knees?" No, that's the style. Everybody
28:00 got distressed denim now. Yeah. So that
28:02 was hard. That was the worst. But I said
28:05 that to say this. If you possess the
28:07 ability to laugh at yourself, you never
28:10 have to worry about being ashamed of
28:12 anything like what I' I've heard you
28:13 I've heard you talk about that before.
28:14 In fact, man, it's funny cuz one of the
28:16 things that okay to be human, you know
28:18 what I'm saying? Well, you know, it was
28:19 most of my life it was hard for me to
28:21 laugh at myself a couple years ago. It's
28:23 so funny. A couple years ago, there was
28:25 a moment that happened. I don't remember
28:29 what it was, but I liked I went
28:31 Theo. I just kind of laughed at myself
28:35 and said my name my whole life my whole
28:37 life it had been this internal thing
28:40 that had been just judging me always and
28:42 for the first time ever our worst
28:44 critics but I just didn't realize how
28:48 infected I'd been by my own by judgment
28:50 of myself but we're taught that because
28:52 when we come outside we judge by our
28:54 peers we judge by everything if you do
28:56 this if you do that and then it's like
28:59 you know what I'm going to be the best
29:02 human I could be. Yeah. I don't care if
29:04 I make mistakes. I'm I'mma follow my
29:06 heart. I don't care what nobody think. I
29:08 swear to God, I'm going to be the best
29:11 human I could be. And um something else
29:14 I used to do Mhm.
29:16 before I developed a greater sense of
29:19 selfworth, I would overcompensate.
29:21 And that's still a form of seeking
29:25 validation. like I would overextend and
29:28 I would overextend myself as far as just
29:31 the person I am not to be liked. I was
29:34 doing this because this is what I really
29:36 wanted somebody to do for me. Yeah. So I
29:39 would overextend and just overshare and
29:41 over love and over everything. I would
29:44 do it to the mo to but this is the love
29:46 that I should have been giving myself. Bro,
29:47 Bro,
29:50 there'll be times I'll text this over
29:51 the past few years I noticed this will
29:53 happen for me. I'll text somebody, "Hey
29:54 man, just wanted to remind you you're a
29:56 great you're a great guy and I'm so
29:58 proud of you." Right? I wish somebody
30:00 would tell me that. And as I'm typing it
30:03 to them, tears will come out of my face.
30:05 And I didn't realize and it's a nice
30:06 thing to say to them. And a lot of times
30:07 it's a person I'll have enough of a
30:09 connection with where like we share a
30:11 lot of similar experiences so we can,
30:13 you know, we'll say that type of thing
30:15 to each other. But man, sometimes as I'm
30:17 sending that because really I I just
30:19 like that's what I always needed. Right.
30:22 The dude who did my my guns. Mhm. on my
30:25 hands. My my gun tattoos. His name
30:27 Trevan Spielman, but some people call
30:30 him Travon or Trevan. I call him just T.
30:32 Okay. Or my brother. But where does he
30:34 do? He's out of Louisiana or where? I'm
30:35 about to tell you. He used to always
30:38 make jokes. He used to always laugh. He
30:41 used to always check on everybody else. And
30:43 And
30:46 we he sent me a text message. I got on
30:48 the flight and went to California. when
30:50 my flight landed the last text message
30:51 he was like I don't think I could do
30:53 this anymore then I found out he killed himself.
30:55 himself.
30:57 So it's like oftent times the people
31:00 that's always helping everybody else
31:03 like it make you want to start checking
31:05 on them. That's why when I did and not
31:07 to bring up nothing with Drewski but
31:10 shout out to Drewuski um I did a little
31:12 show where I was on there like a blind
31:15 date and he was like man you too uptight
31:18 and I'm like I'm not. I just most of the
31:20 time the people that make all the jokes
31:22 I check on their well-being cuz that's
31:24 how my brother was. He used to always
31:26 make jokes and make me laugh and he'll
31:28 be doing my tattoos and I'll be telling
31:29 them about everything I've been through
31:32 like he was like my therapist and he
31:33 even flew out to California one time
31:35 just to tattoo me kind stayed at my
31:38 apartment and everything. And you never
31:39 know what people going through
31:42 internally. And that's the reason I like
31:45 I don't just take people for granted
31:47 like especially people that's always
31:48 making everybody else laugh. Ah so I'll
31:50 laugh with you but I'm also want to be
31:51 here with you to see what's going on.
31:53 Yeah. So I'mma laugh I'mma laugh with
31:56 you but when we finish I'mma ask you
31:59 Mike you you show everything. Okay. Like
32:02 cuz if you need to talk I'm here like
32:04 and that's just the type of person I am
32:05 because he was one of them people. He
32:07 was super funny everything. I never
32:08 would have thought, right, he would have
32:10 took his own life and that's what he
32:13 just was dealing with. Too much pain.
32:15 Yeah, he was dealing with a lot. Yeah,
32:18 he was dealing with a lot. That's my
32:21 brother. I love him. Amen. Trev T. His
32:23 name Trarevon Spielman. Trarevon
32:24 Spielman, but some people call him
32:26 Trevan. Yeah. And like he from
32:28 Louisiana, too. Trayvon Spielman. Well,
32:30 good. I'm glad we say his name today,
32:32 man. Yeah. It just made me think about
32:35 that like the people that give the most
32:38 we never ask them do they need anything.
32:42 Yeah. Yeah man. It's you know it's man a
32:43 lot of my life especially like as an
32:45 adult in the past 10 years eight years
32:48 really has been
32:51 having a journey with myself. Right. I
32:52 didn't even know who I was. I don't even
32:54 know if honestly bro I feel sometimes
32:55 like I've only been alive for about five
32:57 or six years in some way. Before that
33:01 you Yeah. You too. Before that, I was
33:03 alive, but I was just and I don't even
33:04 know what was controlling me. I'm
33:06 grateful that God was giving me
33:07 guidance. You was alive, but you wasn't
33:09 living, man. I was Well, I just didn't
33:12 even know who only the only way I was
33:14 experiencing the world was how you
33:15 needed me to experience it, you know,
33:17 kind of type of thing. But I wanted to
33:19 say one more time just that like, yeah,
33:21 there was a moment where I laughed at myself.
33:22 myself.
33:24 Oh, I Hey, I ain't mean to cut you off.
33:26 Please forgive me. No, you didn't. You
33:27 just got lost. No, it's important. This
33:30 is good. I think and you've you're
33:31 totally forgiven and yeah, I'm sorry for
33:36 cutting you off, too. Um, but uh yeah,
33:38 just to be able to laugh at myself, bro.
33:40 And then part of me I felt, man, my
33:43 whole life here I am and I won't even
33:47 give my own self a laugh. It's like cuz
33:48 I'm not only am I talking, but I'm
33:51 listening to myself at the same time.
33:52 And I wouldn't even laugh. Every time
33:54 I'd just been like, man, that's there's
33:55 an old thing inside of me. You're not
33:57 enough. you got to be perfect or you're
33:59 not nobody's going to pay attention.
34:00 It's like just a constant system of
34:03 judgment, you know. And so, man, to
34:05 laugh at myself is just my publicist
34:09 crazy. My publicist, her name Alvina,
34:11 she like,
34:15 "God give you what you need
34:16 a lot of times when you don't even know
34:19 that you need it." And me and her
34:21 arguing, arguing, arguing, argue, but
34:24 she always tell me like, "You gonna be
34:26 great. That's my life's mission that you
34:29 be great. So, one of the lessons, we
34:32 have like a lesson every week. And one
34:33 of the lessons for one week, she was
34:35 telling me, "Give yourself grace." Cuz
34:37 I'm super I'm like you. I'm super
34:39 critical on myself.
34:41 If I don't honor the commitments I made
34:45 to myself, I'm a [ __ ] Yeah. You know,
34:46 definitely. And here's the crazy thing I
34:48 would do, Kevin. I would go I would go
34:50 for a run one day or do something and
34:52 then I'd be like, we grinding every day.
34:54 I'm going to go I'm gonna go run a
34:55 million mile. Next week I'm running
34:57 seven miles. And then the next day I
34:59 wouldn't even go for a run. But I'd have
35:01 built up all of this steam in my head
35:03 like I was in the Olympics. And so then
35:07 I'd let myself aspirations were so
35:11 diabolical and ridiculous that but when
35:12 I did let myself down, I would let
35:14 myself fall from the heights of my
35:18 aspirations. Not even from You just Yes.
35:19 You just took one room and you just one
35:21 neighborhood over and you got yourself
35:23 at the Olympic trials in Atlanta. Like
35:25 but the the shame I would feel would be
35:27 the fall from the Olympic trials and I
35:30 only [ __ ] went damn probably 1100 ft.
35:33 That's why everybody that tell me they
35:35 want to get into fitness. They be like
35:37 what you think I should do first? I say
35:39 baby steps.
35:42 Baby steps. Take baby steps. If you walk
35:43 in the gym and walk out, you still
35:46 showed up. You did something that you
35:47 wouldn't have done yesterday. Maybe this
35:49 time you might get on a trail man walk
35:51 for maybe two or three minutes. I don't
35:53 know. Who knows? Start drinking more
35:55 water. Baby steps. Like every like
35:58 everything is baby steps. Yeah. Yeah. I
36:00 would never even give myself the grace
36:01 of like let me have those baby, you
36:03 know? Then you know something else I
36:06 used to do? I used to compare myself to
36:08 people that was taking steroids and all
36:10 of that and I'm like I want my body to
36:13 look like this. And I'm like yeah. And I
36:15 used to I used to watch them dudes say
36:16 stuff like, "If if you ain't got no
36:19 six-pack, you fat, homie." And I was
36:22 like, "Damn, I'm fat." So, I had
36:24 unrealistic expectations. I'm just like
36:26 you. And then I start giving myself
36:29 grace and I'm like, "Yeah." I didn't
36:30 even come in it to look like that. I
36:32 just wanted my clothes to be able to fit
36:34 good. Yeah. I just I just didn't want to
36:37 be titty man anymore. Yeah. Yeah. He
36:39 didn't want to have them nice titties on
36:41 it, boy. Man, breastises. I just I just
36:43 didn't want to be titty man anymore. And
36:45 then you start comparing yourself to
36:47 other people and you lose we lose
36:50 ourselves in what we really wanted. What
36:52 was our goal? I just wanted I wanted a
36:54 bedroom body. That's it. That's it.
36:56 That's it. That's all. I don't want to
36:58 look good in my pajamas. That's Yeah. I
36:59 just wanted a nice little bedroom body.
37:01 Now all of a sudden I'm just like, man,
37:03 I want to be Hercules. I'm like, no. Oh
37:05 yeah. I want to have muscles on the side
37:06 of my [ __ ] or whatever. You have them
37:08 dudes, they be showing they they be
37:09 flexing they [ __ ] They got one dude he
37:11 could flex his. I'm like I don't got to
37:14 see that. You been doing them dick lips,
37:16 huh? Yeah. You [ __ ] doing something,
37:20 bro. Putting a They get that fishing get
37:21 that fishing string and put it at the
37:23 end of it with the little weight when
37:25 you the sinker. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.
37:28 Yeah. And make it flex
37:29 with that fishing sinker. That little thing.
37:31 thing.
37:34 Dang, man. Uh no, thank you for saying
37:36 some of that, dude. Yeah, but the first
37:38 time I ever laughed at myself, I
37:39 realized what have how have I been
37:42 treating myself this whole time.
37:43 Horrible. I've heard you talk a lot
37:45 about things like that, man. And some of
37:46 the stuff you say, man, just thank you
37:48 for sharing. I know you're not a prophet
37:49 or anything like that, but just thank
37:51 you for sharing honestly because I think
37:52 that's the greatest thing we can try to
37:55 do. Yeah. I'm far from a prophet. Yeah.
37:57 But I feel like it's a we can try to
37:58 share honestly. Profitable. Yeah. I'm
38:01 just not a prophet.
38:04 What? Uh, only reason I say that cuz you
38:06 know when you hear about prophets, they
38:09 like these such perfect people. Yeah.
38:12 Uh-uh. I I ain't perfect. I'm going to
38:15 make some mistakes today. Yeah. Huh?
38:18 Titty man on the loose today, baby. They
38:20 got a dude at the gym. His name Kevin.
38:23 When I walk in, he was like, "Hey,
38:26 not titty man anymore." Yeah. Oh, he
38:29 showed up, huh? Yeah. Like cuz I did an
38:30 interview and I was like, "Yeah, sorry
38:32 for calling you titty man." No, it's
38:34 okay. It's no big deal. Hey, it's
38:36 beautiful because that's where I came
38:39 from. I was titty man. Like I was
38:41 holding a baby and the baby tried to
38:43 suck my titty. I had breasts. And that
38:45 was the most embarrassing moment for me
38:46 ever. I still talk about that to this
38:48 day. And somebody was like, "No, you're
38:50 one like I said, yeah, I had breasts. I
38:52 was titty man." So then they heard the
38:54 interview and when I went to the gym,
38:56 they was like, "Hey, you're not titty
38:59 man anymore." I was like, "Oh, I used to
39:00 stay up and look at my buddy had some
39:02 tits on and my buddy I was going to do
39:05 that thing. I used to think that I had
39:08 uh what is called gyoglam
39:11 gyog gyoglamastia whatever it's called.
39:13 Pull it up. Ganogastia. See what it is.
39:16 Gyoglastia is in the Middle East.
39:18 Oh, gynecomamastia. Whatever it's I
39:20 don't know how to pronounce the word. I
39:21 be hearing a lot of people say it. They
39:23 like gyno or whatever. Gynecomastia.
39:25 condition where male breast tissue
39:27 enlarges due to an imbalance of estrogen
39:29 and testosterone and and I and they had
39:31 this surgery where you go get your your
39:33 titty cut out and I was like man I do
39:35 that I'm tired of this [ __ ] and I didn't
39:39 know you got abs under here and when you
39:41 work the abs that's what lift like your
39:43 ab muscle don't just it go all the way
39:45 up to the pectoral and that's what lift
39:49 that and then doing dips and doing abs
39:51 that's what made all of that disappear
39:55 just lift got that titty off. Yeah. God.
39:57 Yeah. My buddy had them and we used to I
39:58 used to stay up at night and he would
40:00 have his shirt off and I'd look at them
40:02 [ __ ] Bro,
40:05 I hate that. I liked it. Like when I
40:07 used to go to the YMCA. Oh yeah. Which
40:11 one? I used to go to the one on um on college.
40:12 college.
40:14 The old one though. Not the not the new
40:16 the old one. Pull up that YMCA in Baton
40:19 Rouge. The one There's one over there by
40:21 the Walgreens is kind Not on College. On
40:24 Foster. Yeah. on Foster. The old one on
40:26 North Foster. I used to go to that one.
40:28 I'm talking about when I used to come
40:30 out my shirt, they used to free Willie.
40:32 Talking about the whale. Oh, damn. Yeah.
40:35 Oh my god. Never in life. I didn't know
40:36 people were going through that. Yeah,
40:38 that's AC Lewis right there. That's a
40:39 good YMCA.
40:42 Free Willie out there. Yeah. Did you go
40:44 to school over there? Did you Did you go
40:46 to college over there, too? Something
40:48 like that. I went to community college.
40:50 Did you Where you go, BRCC? Of course.
40:52 Let's go. Turn up. Oh, my sister used to
40:54 work over at Cox Communications over
40:55 there, man. What is it? Yeah, my brother
40:57 went to Southern for a little while.
40:59 Dang, bro. That's why. What were you
41:02 studying over there? Business. Yeah.
41:03 Introduction to business. And you
41:05 graduated, bro? I ain't graduated, but
41:08 overall you did. Yeah, I graduated.
41:11 Yeah, big facts, man. I'm a billion
41:14 miles past.
41:16 Did you get a degree? I I at some point
41:19 I saw that or I read in um that you got
41:22 a degree in jail in prison. Yeah. Is
41:24 that true? Yeah, that's true. Wow. What
41:25 were the classes like in there and
41:27 stuff? What is it? It's not It was no
41:30 classes. You just test. I got credits by
41:32 testing. Oh, so they don't have like a
41:35 um Do you have Do y'all do like um I'm
41:36 trying to think of what it's called. Do
41:39 y'all have like um group projects or
41:40 whatever? No, they you have an
41:42 administrator that administer the test.
41:44 Oh, damn. And you test. Whenever you
41:46 ready to test, you test. Well, you can't
41:48 say whenever you ready to test. Like,
41:50 you might test once a month or something
41:53 like that, but I had a little way that I
41:56 was able to keep testing. Shout out to
41:59 them. Yeah. Shout out to them. But so,
42:01 you don't you don't have group projects.
42:02 I was wondering if you got a group
42:03 project or something. What if your group
42:05 leader gets put in like in a solitary
42:07 confinement or whatever? It wasn't like
42:09 that. Yeah, it was it was not like that
42:11 in Louisiana prisons. It's like really
42:14 every man for their self. So you take
42:15 your test and then like was it you study
42:17 the curriculum and then you go take a
42:19 test. Dang. You have an administrator
42:22 that make sure you don't cheat. And but
42:24 did other people look down on you if you
42:25 was trying to study in there or No. No.
42:27 You trying to get out just trying to get
42:29 out the dorm? Yeah.
42:32 Trying to get out the dorm. Yeah. I was
42:33 just wondering if you had like a Now
42:36 when I went to prison in Chicago
42:40 when I What? That's Illinois. It was
42:45 I forgot. Uh, it's EMCC East Molen, but
42:47 I forgot the place in Illinois that it
42:50 was. Now, they had individual classrooms
42:53 like on the campus. So, y'all would go
42:56 to class. Yeah, it was beautiful. Dang.
42:58 That that that
43:00 last bid I did, it changed my life
43:02 completely. That's how I got into yoga.
43:04 Like, they offer programs and everything
43:06 at the prison. At the prison. And they
43:08 had weights.
43:10 And I say that like I would lift weights.
43:12 weights.
43:15 They like if you wanted to be better,
43:17 you could become better. But dude, that
43:18 reminds you. You ever been at like a
43:20 hotel or motel and you'll be in the gym
43:21 working out? They have a family just
43:23 come look at the gym equipment and then
43:26 just walk out. Like they just come that
43:28 just happened to me in um you say at the
43:29 gym? Yeah. Like you'll be in the gym.
43:31 That just happened to me at um I was in
43:34 South Carolina. Yeah. I was in South
43:36 Carolina working out at a hotel in the
43:39 gym and they had people passing by the
43:41 gym and they'll look in the gym and open
43:43 the door and leave out. But they was
43:46 having like a a fraternity reunion
43:49 there. I forgot what fraternity it was,
43:52 but it was like from all over the like
43:54 country. They was there having some kind
43:56 of reunion like panh helenic or
43:57 something like that maybe. No, they was
44:00 a they was frats. They was fraternity
44:01 and they told me they was in a
44:02 fraternity. A few of them came in there
44:04 and talked to Masons or something. No,
44:08 they weren't Masons. They was like uh
44:10 college. Oh, Fra Deltas or something?
44:12 Charter Chopper Darts. And they was
44:14 like, "Yeah." They was like, "Yeah, bro.
44:16 We down here for some kind of get
44:18 together. They having parties." They was
44:19 like, "Oh, they drinking." Yeah, we big
44:21 fans. I was like, "Yeah, thank you."
44:23 Yeah. Sometimes it's why I'll be in the
44:25 gym and people will come in just look at
44:26 the gym like, "Well, look at this. If it
44:28 ain't a gym, you know, and then they
44:30 just leave out. At least they showed
44:31 up." Yeah, that's a good point, huh?
44:33 That's baby steps. They showed up.
44:36 That's baby steps. Um, yeah, cuz I was
44:37 just wondering if you're in jail, do you
44:39 have group projects or is there like
44:41 most likely to, you know, like that kind
44:43 of thing? Like is it like a real like
44:45 most likely to succeed or most likely to
44:47 It's still get out of jail or whatever.
44:48 It's still indiv it's still
44:52 individualbased learning, but you do
44:54 earn good time by going to school. I I
44:57 like I liked it the way they had it set
44:59 up in Illinois. They had programs and
45:01 you earn good time by going to school.
45:03 It's like that in Louisiana in some
45:05 facilities. You earn good time by going
45:08 to school, but
45:09 the way they had it set up in Illinois
45:11 was different. Like they had real
45:14 programs, like real classrooms that you
45:16 go to. They got some facilities that
45:18 offer that, but it's not the same. So,
45:20 it was more organized over there. Yeah,
45:24 it was it was it was more I'mma say
45:28 this. It was based to help people. It
45:31 was geared toward anti-rescetivism.
45:33 Recidivism is repeat offenders.
45:35 Anti-rescetivism is people that that go
45:37 to jail and become better and don't come
45:38 back. It was geared toward
45:41 anti-rescetivism. Like in Louisiana,
45:43 it's not geared toward that. It's geared
45:46 toward it's a revolving door. You're
45:47 going to come back, right? We'll see you
45:49 soon. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back. That
45:51 type of thing. See you next time. You
45:53 know, like you going in that eight. We
45:55 missed you. the the this is one of the
45:57 worst things but it was the most
45:58 beautiful thing that ever happened too
46:02 cuz I needed this. They called me in and
46:04 they had switched my PO. They switched
46:08 my PO. So they call me in. I go in. I'm
46:10 thinking I'm just going to piss. Yeah.
46:12 Like you know give a update on what's
46:13 going on. Yeah. Put your hands behind
46:15 your back.
46:18 Took me to jail. They say you traveled
46:21 without uh notifying anybody. I'm like
46:22 y'all switch my PO. I had been
46:24 attempting to contact and nobody had
46:26 ever picked the phone up. Dang. And
46:28 where'd you go? You took a vacation. No,
46:30 I didn't take a vacation. I was working.
46:32 I won't say anything. Yeah. In the same
46:34 spot that the same spot that the PO had
46:37 already approved travel for. And that's
46:39 what made me start getting copies of
46:40 everything. Right. So you got proof of
46:42 what somebody said. Yeah. I want can can
46:44 you sign it? Can I get a travel for me?
46:45 Can you sign it? And I start getting
46:47 copy. Can you make me a copy? And I
46:48 start keeping a folder and keeping
46:50 copies. It was beautiful though. It made
46:52 me be more organized. Yeah. Get some
46:53 organization in your life and recognize,
46:54 yeah, you got to have proof of what's
46:56 going on even for yourself because you
46:57 can't even rely on other people's proof
46:58 because they'll forget the proof,
47:00 they'll alter the proof. You don't even
47:02 know sometimes. I don't believe is that
47:03 sometime people get so busy and caught
47:05 up with what they got going on. That's
47:07 true. That it's easy to forget. If you
47:08 dealing with a hundred different people,
47:10 you not going to possibly remember
47:12 little old me till my name start
47:13 buzzing. Right. Well, that's a good
47:14 point, too, because that's an
47:16 interesting way. Sometimes I'll think,
47:18 this is the way that I'll think. I'll
47:19 think, "Oh, they doing that on purpose
47:21 to me." As opposed to what you just
47:23 said, some like adversity builds
47:25 character. But people got a million
47:26 things going on. They're not thinking.
47:28 They're just doing their [ __ ] They say,
47:30 "Never suspect malice of what could be
47:33 mistaken for incompetence." Yeah. Never
47:35 take as malice for what could be
47:37 misinterpreted as incompetent. And it
47:39 usually is. This usually is just kind of
47:40 incompetent. It's not. People don't just
47:43 go out of their way to do [ __ ] up [ __ ]
47:45 to you. They just be so preoccupied with
47:47 what they got going on. They don't even
47:49 know that this what they doing. Yeah.
47:52 Until made aware. But see, there were
47:53 times in my head I'm like these
47:54 [ __ ] that's how they treating.
47:56 But it's not anything like that, you
47:57 know. But I would take that on. We going
47:59 to automatic, you know, that's we going
48:02 to automatically plex. I still plex
48:04 sometime like have a develop a complex
48:08 about feeling like I'm being, you know,
48:10 mishandled and things of that nature.
48:11 But I don't even look at it like that.
48:13 That [ __ ] be so petty cuz I look at it
48:15 now like it's an invitation for me to
48:18 lower my frequency or stay. What is
48:20 something you miss about prison? I don't
48:23 miss nothing about prison. Even
48:26 something little? No, I don't miss
48:29 nothing about prison.
48:31 So there's nothing in it. What about
48:32 even just getting some rest every now
48:34 and then? Was it like that or no? I can
48:36 get rest out here. I need to go to
48:37 prison for to get rest. Yeah, you're
48:39 right. You're right, man. I'm trying to
48:41 Yeah. What I miss? Now I'm going to read
48:42 ads for some of the prisoners. Somebody
48:44 come in that somebody come in there
48:47 making sure you in compliance, bed made
48:48 up, all that. I ain't got time for that
48:51 [ __ ] I do that on my own anyway. And
48:52 what about a cellmate at night? Like do
48:54 people say good night to each other or
48:56 people just quietly go to sleep? It
48:59 depend on if you and your seller cool.
49:01 If you you got a seller and y'all cool
49:05 like that, you know. But with me,
49:08 anytime I leave, any set I have, they
49:09 going to always, man, I'mma miss you,
49:13 bro. Cuz I just I keep it going. Yeah, I
49:15 run eps and everything. And when I say
49:17 run eps, that mean like I'm running an
49:20 episode like we talking about [ __ ] but
49:22 it might go when I first get in the
49:24 sale, it might go by 90 days. My seller
49:27 going to always ask me the same thing. Hey,
49:28 Hey,
49:30 you sleep all day and you be up all
49:32 night. You don't watch TV and you don't
49:36 get on the phone. I be reading.
49:38 I just read.
49:41 I read books. I got stacks of books.
49:43 Yeah. Then I'm then I don't even go to
49:46 child. So like say if you indigent
49:48 indigent mean don't nobody send you no
49:50 money. I'mma ask you your you got family
49:52 out there. They love you. They send you
49:55 money. You going to tell me no. What I'm
49:57 going to put $100 on your books. You
50:00 gonna give me 80 worth of [ __ ] and you
50:02 gonna just keep the 20 for you. Yeah,
50:05 that's business. Yeah. So, you know, you
50:06 eating and I'm eating cuz I don't even
50:09 go to child. So, I do hookups every
50:11 night. I cook. So, you in your own space
50:13 then? Yeah. I'mma cook every night. So,
50:15 you kind of try to create your own
50:16 system within that system. Do you feel
50:19 like in a way? No, that's just how I
50:20 live. That's how I do my time. I do my
50:22 bed like that. I don't really go to
50:24 child unless it's on chicken day, right?
50:26 And then no judgment on that. I probably
50:29 don't go on chicken day cuz all the
50:30 chicken going to get brought to me
50:32 anyway. And I'mma just cut all that.
50:34 I'mma cut all that up and put that in a
50:36 soup. Put that in a hookup. A hook up
50:38 like where you get a big bowl and you
50:39 you know we cook. You got your own thing
50:41 going. Now, how do you heat the food up
50:43 in the cell? It depends on what spot we at.
50:45 at.
50:47 It depends on where we at. They got some
50:50 people they cook on the bunk like on the
50:53 middle. They got some people they got
50:54 some jails where they give you a hot
50:57 pack, but you got to rig it for to make
51:00 it boil. It's It depends. Some people
51:02 make a stinger. What is that? A stinger.
51:04 That's the thing they hooking the
51:07 electric socket in. A little stinger. It
51:09 depends. Oh, there you go. Somebody
51:10 grilling something right there on a bed
51:14 sheet. Yeah. Oh, that's good. It depend.
51:16 It depends on what spot we at. They have
51:19 some good chefs in prison. The best.
51:21 Amen. Amen, dude. Yeah. Where's that
51:24 cooking show? Huh? They got people make
51:26 pizzas, everything. Anything you could
51:30 think of. Stir fry everything. Yeah. I
51:32 love that. They got I was locked up in
51:34 Florida. They got some [ __ ] they do.
51:36 They call making a brick where they take
51:38 it, man. They put everything in there.
51:40 Turkey, sausage, everything. And they
51:41 just I'm talking about everything you
51:42 could think of they can get out the
51:44 kitchen, they put in there and they make
51:48 it they they cook it in a Dorito bag and
51:50 make it like a holy brick. Oh yeah, man.
51:53 I'm talking about the truth. Good, huh?
51:54 You ever do a prison night or something
51:56 at the house? Remake some food like that
51:58 or try to You ever remake any stuff like
51:59 that for your friends so they can taste
52:00 it? Yeah. I done did that for my
52:02 partners and my little son. He like all
52:04 that. Oh, hell yeah. But we come from
52:06 that anywhere on the street. Remember,
52:08 ramen noodles and all that. We come from
52:09 that. Putting anything you could find in
52:11 it. Yeah. Well, the big thing in our
52:13 house was Oh, yeah. My partner used to
52:15 make my He He wasn't my sell it, but he
52:19 was like $2 down. About $3 down. He used
52:22 to make burritos. Oh yeah. Did he really
52:24 is a Mexican guy? Nuh-uh. He wasn't
52:26 Mexican, but he used to make burritos.
52:28 He pretended he was Mexican for You
52:30 would have thought he was a Mexican.
52:32 God, I love a burrito, bro. Man, he used
52:34 to make the best ones. I didn't like him
52:36 at first because I didn't want to do I
52:37 like sandwiches. I didn't want to
52:40 betray. He used to do it with all beef,
52:42 all turkey, all chicken. I'm talking
52:44 about the truth. My god. Onions,
52:46 everything. Bell peppers, everything.
52:48 Oh, he was putting everything in it.
52:50 Now, all the ingredients, you get them
52:52 through the jail or some people smuggle
52:53 in a bell pepper. You get that from
52:56 commissary, but like like vegetables and
52:57 [ __ ] all that's going to get broke.
52:59 That's coming from the kitchen. Yeah,
53:02 that's going to get broke. That's broke.
53:04 And what about it got any good desserts
53:05 in prison? Was there ever like a Yeah,
53:06 they got dudes in there make candy. They
53:09 got dudes in there make ice cream. God
53:12 dang. Really? Wow. I would love that.
53:14 They got dudes make everything in there.
53:15 them some of the most creative people
53:17 you gonna ever meet in your life. Them
53:19 some of the most intelligent people you
53:22 gonna ever meet in your life. Yeah. The
53:24 most intelligent. You talk about
53:25 weights, you talk about yoga. You got
53:27 into yoga when you're in there. Yeah. I
53:29 accidentally got into yoga. How'd that
53:31 happen? My partner kept telling me,
53:32 "Man, bro." But I think a lot of black
53:34 men, they you can't just say, "I got
53:35 into yoga." I think you have to be like,
53:38 "I accidentally got in." I was against
53:39 it. I was all the way against it. Oh,
53:41 yeah. He was telling me, "Man, bro, I'm
53:43 telling you, bro, they got yoga
53:44 classes." I say, "Well, you go in there
53:46 and bend over. I'm not going in there
53:47 and doing that [ __ ] You go in there and
53:49 bend your ass over." So, that was I was
53:51 just I was like too hard for myself.
53:54 Just whatever, whatever, whatever. So,
53:56 one of my potters from across the hall,
53:57 he was like, "Yeah, bro. I'm going to
53:58 holl at you. I'm about to go do yoga." I
54:01 say, "For what?" He was like, "Man, I
54:03 couldn't even like he was telling me he
54:04 had knee pains and all kind of different
54:06 pains in his joints." He said, "I don't
54:08 even have that [ __ ] no more since I've
54:10 been doing yoga." He said, "Man,
54:11 everything on me," like, he say, "It's
54:14 been healing my body." So, I'm like,
54:17 "Whatever." Like two days pass, I give
54:20 it a try. Go in there. The first maybe
54:22 two poses of the [ __ ] I did, I'm
54:24 thinking it's some [ __ ] Like, you
54:26 know, when you see on TV, you see
54:29 people, oh, namaste. Yeah. You know, you
54:32 thinking it's [ __ ] so I did it.
54:36 Yeah. Like maybe after the third pose, I
54:38 ran to the bathroom and [ __ ]
54:40 everything. Like it cut my appetite.
54:43 It's really what started my kind of
54:45 started my fitness journey. Like a lot
54:46 of the people that was lifting weights
54:48 and doing all that was still come and do
54:51 yoga because I had read in the what's
54:53 what's that uh the Arnold Swanson
54:55 Encyclopedia that big yellow book.
54:57 What's he got on there? He had a big
55:00 It's called uh There you go. Right
55:02 there. Arnold Swanson Encyclopedia
55:06 that's the one but and he did yoga he
55:08 was like whenever a lion wake up a lion
55:11 stretch first before they do anything so
55:13 I start looking at it and you know when
55:17 you when you start feeding yourself that
55:19 that not when you know your brain open
55:20 up to something different when you
55:23 reading it because you you become like a
55:24 information freak you become like a
55:27 seeker of knowledge because this is the
55:28 only thing that's stimulating you
55:30 mentally you know what I'm and you being
55:33 stimulated by new information. So then I
55:35 was like, man, yeah, I'mma go [ __ ] with
55:38 it. So I started [ __ ] with it. I came
55:41 home, I got off it, but then I had got
55:43 back on it. And now I'm like fully
55:45 committed. Oh yeah, dude. I've
55:47 definitely done some yoga where you'll I
55:49 mean you will [ __ ] You have [ __ ] you're
55:51 like, damn, this [ __ ] been missing. Cut
55:53 your appetite and everything. Yeah. If I
55:56 don't do yoga, I feel weird. Yeah. Oh,
55:58 dude. There's nothing better when you
56:00 get done with yoga and you cut off the
56:02 computer, however you do, you know. I
56:04 love when my yoga coach used to tell me,
56:06 "Thank you for allowing me to share this
56:10 space with you. Namaste." Yeah. I'm
56:12 like, "I bet you not like this at the
56:17 house, but in my brain, you know."
56:19 Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. Yoga sometimes, bro.
56:21 There'll be a pose one time I would do
56:23 something with my shoulder. I had
56:24 shoulder pain. All that [ __ ] It
56:26 unlocked something inside of me. Oh,
56:28 tears just coming out of my face, just
56:30 stuck in my muscles. You know, that's
56:32 crazy. That happened to me doing a
56:35 pigeon pose. Mhm. And I was just in the
56:38 pose. I was laying there and I ain't
56:39 want to lift back up cuz I was just
56:42 crying uncontrollably. And she came and
56:43 put her hands on my back and she was
56:45 like, "The energy that you're feeling
56:47 right now is not your own. It's just
56:49 psychic debris. You're having an
56:52 emotional detox." Damn. Release it. And
56:54 I was just breathing through it. And
56:57 then I did the left side. And then I
57:00 Whoever tell us about emotional detoxes,
57:01 I ain't grow up knowing about that [ __ ]
57:03 I ain't know that everything that we go
57:06 through traumatically, it it harness
57:08 itself somewhere in some type of muscle fasia.
57:10 fasia.
57:12 I ain't know that [ __ ] Well, there's
57:14 not a lot of guys talk. There's not a
57:15 lot of guys I don't feel like where
57:16 you're from talking about this stuff,
57:18 man. What do you think really took?
57:19 Yeah, I felt like it were I'm be honest
57:22 with you. I did prejudge it. I thought
57:25 that was for [ __ ] Oh yeah. When I
57:26 first when they first told me about
57:28 yoga, I'm I'm not about to do that [ __ ]
57:30 ass [ __ ] Especially in prison, I didn't
57:31 know they had different sports. I
57:33 thought homosexuality was the only sport
57:35 in the first thing I told him. I said,
57:36 "Man, you going in there and bent your
57:38 ass over. I'm not about to do it." Yeah.
57:40 [ __ ] little zesty. Next thing I know,
57:42 next thing I know, I was doing them
57:44 warrior poses and all that [ __ ] You in
57:47 there, bro. That [ __ ] ain't no joke.
57:48 Yeah, you get in there with your little
57:50 sugar cane in there. I ain't going in
57:51 there. That's how I would think at
57:53 first. You know, you get in there with
57:56 your little spicy baby body. No, you
57:58 only victim of what you entertain. Yeah.
58:00 Oh, but that was I was Did I That's how
58:02 I was. I was against everything. Yeah. I
58:04 used to plex like that. I think in
58:05 juvenile detention cuz you hear so many
58:08 [ __ ] up stories about jail. When you
58:09 go in there, they going to try to [ __ ]
58:10 you. Yeah. They [ __ ] people and you
58:12 think that's how it's going. So, yeah.
58:14 Don't wear no cologne in there. When you
58:15 go in there, the first the first thing
58:18 you do is plex. And what I mean by plex,
58:20 you have a complex. You in defense. you
58:22 in defense mode. But when you get there,
58:23 you really see that prison is
58:25 structured. Yeah. It's really off
58:28 respect. It's ran off respect. Respect
58:30 run the compound. Ain't nobody going to
58:33 pass by you and not say, "Excuse me."
58:35 It's different. Do you admire the the
58:37 level of respect that was in there? In
58:39 some ways,
58:42 I give my respect first, but at the end
58:45 of the day, I still demand it.
58:47 Did you get treated special because you
58:49 had celebrity in your life? If you think
58:52 I wasn't a celebrity at first. Got it.
58:54 Like juvenile detention through that
58:55 circuit. I wasn't a celebrity. Was it
58:57 scary to go back to prison? Like damn,
58:59 now they know me. Juvenile facilities
59:01 are more chaotic than adult facilities.
59:03 Oh yeah, I can see that. So they way
59:05 they way more chaotic. So that's where
59:07 the the the fighting and all that go on
59:09 every day. And adult prison is
59:10 structured. It ain't like that. It's
59:12 laidback. Yeah. That [ __ ] they be
59:15 showing on TV them Mickey Mouse camps.
59:17 Yeah. That's not no right. It's not real
59:19 [ __ ] That's not no maximum security.
59:20 That's not no none of that. Them Mickey
59:23 Mouse camps. That's not like Louisiana. Like
59:25 Like
59:27 Louisiana prisons are the roughest prisons
59:29 prisons
59:31 from my perspective cuz I done been
59:32 around a little bit. I haven't been to
59:36 prison in Canada. So that sounds nice.
59:38 So man, they had the best food. Oh man,
59:39 Canada's great. I would go to prison in
59:42 Canada. It was it was different. Like
59:44 the way they respect you there is to
59:46 like the way the guards respect you
59:47 there is different when you get to
59:49 Louisiana it's a whole another story.
59:51 Yeah. Always do. I feel this is a
59:53 different way that people communicate
59:54 overall. Dude, I'll tell you this even
59:56 what I noticed about racial stuff in in
59:59 Canada when I was up there. I feel like
60:00 sometimes in America, especially growing up in the south, there's there's not
60:03 up in the south, there's there's not there's there's some tension between
60:04 there's there's some tension between black and white. I feel like but there's
60:06 black and white. I feel like but there's a lot of history. Right. Louisiana,
60:08 a lot of history. Right. Louisiana, Mississippi, our white boys different.
60:09 Mississippi, our white boys different. Yeah. Oh, for sure. But in Canada, if
60:12 Yeah. Oh, for sure. But in Canada, if you in Canada, there's no racial
60:14 you in Canada, there's no racial tension. They're not regular white boys
60:16 tension. They're not regular white boys in Mississippi and Louisiana.
60:18 in Mississippi and Louisiana. They built different. Well, some of them
60:21 They built different. Well, some of them some of them got they some of them seem
60:23 some of them got they some of them seem like uh I got a pod right now. We locked
60:27 like uh I got a pod right now. We locked up. If you call them G White,
60:31 up. If you call them G White, you might as well just going to get rid
60:33 you might as well just going to get rid of. Just don't even call him. If you
60:34 of. Just don't even call him. If you call cuz you know that be like, "What up
60:36 call cuz you know that be like, "What up G White?" You know, you say that to like
60:39 G White?" You know, you say that to like you know he think he a [ __ ] You know
60:40 you know he think he a [ __ ] You know what, man? What up, G White? Man, they
60:42 what, man? What up, G White? Man, they got some white boy. They not going for
60:44 got some white boy. They not going for that. Yeah, I'm not going. You not about
60:46 that. Yeah, I'm not going. You not about to call me G White. We could fight all.
60:47 to call me G White. We could fight all. Hey, all we could play with that knife.
60:49 Hey, all we could play with that knife. And that's how they coming. They built
60:51 And that's how they coming. They built like that. Yeah, it's changed a little
60:53 like that. Yeah, it's changed a little bit, huh? No, it ain't changed. It been
60:55 bit, huh? No, it ain't changed. It been like that. You think? Yeah. You got real
60:57 like that. You think? Yeah. You got real [ __ ] and [ __ ] [ __ ] everywhere you
60:58 [ __ ] and [ __ ] [ __ ] everywhere you go. God dang, I love. So, it's like it's
61:01 go. God dang, I love. So, it's like it's it's like I'm glad to know that, I
61:02 it's like I'm glad to know that, I guess. Yeah. It's it's it's um you only
61:05 guess. Yeah. It's it's it's um you only victim of what you entertain. Yeah. See,
61:07 victim of what you entertain. Yeah. See, like when you went to the sugarcane,
61:08 like when you went to the sugarcane, baby, that conversation. I ain't even
61:10 baby, that conversation. I ain't even grin cuz I'm not in. Right. If you grin,
61:13 grin cuz I'm not in. Right. If you grin, you in. Oh, dang. That was your
61:16 you in. Oh, dang. That was your conversation. I'm not I'm not talking to
61:18 conversation. I'm not I'm not talking to me. Like when you was like, "Yeah, I
61:19 me. Like when you was like, "Yeah, I want to be in there with my sugar baby
61:20 want to be in there with my sugar baby and a yoga thing." I was like, I said
61:23 and a yoga thing." I was like, I said there were men in there. I think there's
61:24 there were men in there. I think there's creative men in there. Yeah. I just that
61:27 creative men in there. Yeah. I just that that wasn't my conversation. Yeah. I'm a
61:30 that wasn't my conversation. Yeah. I'm a real Vick, so that just went over my
61:31 real Vick, so that just went over my head. I ain't no new J. Me too, bro. I
61:33 head. I ain't no new J. Me too, bro. I ain't about that [ __ ] Yeah. So when you
61:35 ain't about that [ __ ] Yeah. So when you when like when somebody had them kind of
61:36 when like when somebody had them kind of conversations, I ain't having them.
61:38 conversations, I ain't having them. Yeah. That just go over my head. Me too.
61:41 Yeah. That just go over my head. Me too. Cuz if you grin, you in. You only victim
61:43 Cuz if you grin, you in. You only victim of what you entertain. I'm chilling. I
61:45 of what you entertain. I'm chilling. I ain't smiling about nothing. I feel
61:48 ain't smiling about nothing. I feel that. Not like if you grin, you in. But
61:50 that. Not like if you grin, you in. But if you entertain it, right? Oh, I see.
61:52 if you entertain it, right? Oh, I see. You know, you open the door for that.
61:54 You know, you open the door for that. Yeah. I mean, I'm locking that up. And I
61:56 Yeah. I mean, I'm locking that up. And I That's one thing I teach my son like
61:59 That's one thing I teach my son like sometime he'll see something on the
62:00 sometime he'll see something on the internet like a comment. I say, "Hey,
62:02 internet like a comment. I say, "Hey, you don't entertain that. you a man,
62:04 you don't entertain that. you a man, right? Don't never let nobody defeat you
62:06 right? Don't never let nobody defeat you with words. You don't entertain it. How
62:08 with words. You don't entertain it. How did you start to get to know yourself?
62:10 did you start to get to know yourself? Right? Cuz you talked about that. Um,
62:13 Right? Cuz you talked about that. Um, solitude. Really?
62:16 solitude. Really? Solitude. Cuz you're one of the few
62:18 Solitude. Cuz you're one of the few people. You're one of the few kind of
62:19 people. You're one of the few kind of rappers I feel like that or that I've
62:20 rappers I feel like that or that I've met or experienced or paid attention to
62:22 met or experienced or paid attention to that I know of that talks about that
62:23 that I know of that talks about that kind of stuff, their relationship with
62:25 kind of stuff, their relationship with themselves. Right. Most of the things
62:26 themselves. Right. Most of the things that we did, excuse me, I can't say we.
62:28 that we did, excuse me, I can't say we. I'm going to say me. I'm going to speak
62:29 I'm going to say me. I'm going to speak for me. All right. Most of the things
62:31 for me. All right. Most of the things that I did in my life that people would
62:34 that I did in my life that people would consider heroic or violent
62:37 consider heroic or violent uh that I got stripes for that was out
62:40 uh that I got stripes for that was out of fear or seeking validation from
62:42 of fear or seeking validation from somebody older than me. But how did you
62:45 somebody older than me. But how did you start to realize that that that that
62:47 start to realize that that that that that's what was going on like that you
62:49 that's what was going on like that you like when you say like sol solitary
62:53 like when you say like sol solitary being by yourself being in solitude
62:56 being by yourself being in solitude spending time alone. So what was that
62:58 spending time alone. So what was that practice? Did you have a practice that
63:00 practice? Did you have a practice that started? I mean you said like a little
63:01 started? I mean you said like a little bit of yoga so that kind of opened up
63:02 bit of yoga so that kind of opened up your idea to like doing something
63:04 your idea to like doing something different but what like what was was
63:06 different but what like what was was there somebody who started to teach you
63:08 there somebody who started to teach you these practices cuz it's hard to get
63:11 these practices cuz it's hard to get from just when when a student ready to
63:13 from just when when a student ready to learn the teacher appear once you start
63:15 learn the teacher appear once you start walking this path like this path led me
63:18 walking this path like this path led me to doing this right now today and when I
63:22 to doing this right now today and when I leave here I don't know who I'mma meet
63:24 leave here I don't know who I'mma meet that may give me a tidbit of knowledge
63:26 that may give me a tidbit of knowledge that's going to propel me forward I
63:28 that's going to propel me forward I don't know And it just you pick it up.
63:31 don't know And it just you pick it up. The reward really is in the journey. So
63:34 The reward really is in the journey. So I just pick up little tidbits along the
63:36 I just pick up little tidbits along the way. Yeah. Or how you say it? Tidbits.
63:38 way. Yeah. Or how you say it? Tidbits. My bad. Yeah. Tid. That's that
63:40 My bad. Yeah. Tid. That's that Louisiana. That's that Louisiana. My
63:41 Louisiana. That's that Louisiana. My tongue heavy. That tidbits. Oh yeah. So
63:44 tongue heavy. That tidbits. Oh yeah. So I I got a I talk lazy. Um what when you
63:48 I I got a I talk lazy. Um what when you look on your life, what's like what some
63:49 look on your life, what's like what some of the worst pain that you felt like you
63:51 of the worst pain that you felt like you have have ever been in? Physical,
63:53 have have ever been in? Physical, emotional. emotional probably I would
63:55 emotional. emotional probably I would say or mental like
63:57 say or mental like cuz I've heard you talk about trauma and
63:59 cuz I've heard you talk about trauma and overcoming past traumas is you don't
64:01 overcoming past traumas is you don't hear a lot of people talk like that you
64:02 hear a lot of people talk like that you know so like I'm just like recently um
64:06 know so like I'm just like recently um 2020 I was going to kill myself
64:10 2020 I was going to kill myself damn I had deleted my uh my Instagram
64:12 damn I had deleted my uh my Instagram for like a year and a half I was going
64:15 for like a year and a half I was going to kill myself
64:17 to kill myself cuz I I only felt appreciated for my
64:19 cuz I I only felt appreciated for my ability to do and then I was always
64:22 ability to do and then I was always looking at Instagram around and it was
64:25 looking at Instagram around and it was like I was comparison I was compar and I
64:28 like I was comparison I was compar and I spoke about this before I was comparing
64:29 spoke about this before I was comparing my life to other people life and
64:32 my life to other people life and comparison really is the killer of all
64:34 comparison really is the killer of all joy and I didn't understand that until I
64:37 joy and I didn't understand that until I started looking at my life like damn
64:40 started looking at my life like damn like I'm seeing everybody highlight real
64:43 like I'm seeing everybody highlight real but at the end of the day I'm just me
64:47 but at the end of the day I'm just me but everybody else living so great but
64:49 but everybody else living so great but that's just the highlights that's not
64:51 that's just the highlights that's not what they going through every
64:53 what they going through every And it took me getting off Instagram and
64:56 And it took me getting off Instagram and getting off social media period to see
64:58 getting off social media period to see that people really do love me and enjoy
65:01 that people really do love me and enjoy the world and start having gratitude.
65:04 the world and start having gratitude. Like think about the things you grateful
65:07 Like think about the things you grateful for. Not what you don't have and not how
65:09 for. Not what you don't have and not how [ __ ] not going, but think about all the
65:11 [ __ ] not going, but think about all the good [ __ ] and just be thankful like I'm
65:13 good [ __ ] and just be thankful like I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for
65:14 grateful for this, I'm grateful for that. And that's when things started to
65:16 that. And that's when things started to kind of change for me. A lot of people
65:18 kind of change for me. A lot of people say that kind of stuff, but it's not a
65:20 say that kind of stuff, but it's not a practice in their life, right? It's not
65:22 practice in their life, right? It's not like a real truth that they're living. I
65:23 like a real truth that they're living. I think that's one thing to me that's
65:25 think that's one thing to me that's interesting about you. It feels like
65:27 interesting about you. It feels like that's really how you have chosen to
65:29 that's really how you have chosen to live your life. What were like
65:30 live your life. What were like practices? I don't have I'm going be
65:32 practices? I don't have I'm going be honest. Every day not going to be a good
65:33 honest. Every day not going to be a good day, right? For me, but I'm still going
65:36 day, right? For me, but I'm still going to go to the gym, right? Cuz that is my
65:38 to go to the gym, right? Cuz that is my therapy. And I kind of train myself to
65:41 therapy. And I kind of train myself to know that whenever I have like a [ __ ]
65:43 know that whenever I have like a [ __ ] up feeling like the days that I I don't
65:45 up feeling like the days that I I don't even want to go them the days that I had
65:47 even want to go them the days that I had the best workouts. I didn't kind of
65:49 the best workouts. I didn't kind of start playing a game with myself. I know
65:51 start playing a game with myself. I know when certain people start texting me and
65:53 when certain people start texting me and it's low vibrational people, something
65:55 it's low vibrational people, something good must be about to happen. It's got
65:57 good must be about to happen. It's got to be a test. Something good about to
65:59 to be a test. Something good about to happen. And I just start training myself
66:00 happen. And I just start training myself to look at it like that. And that's
66:02 to look at it like that. And that's really how it be going now. Yeah. Yeah.
66:04 really how it be going now. Yeah. Yeah. Alternate at like Yeah. Taking the
66:06 Alternate at like Yeah. Taking the opposite choice. Making the opposite
66:08 opposite choice. Making the opposite choice cuz everything inside of you is
66:09 choice cuz everything inside of you is like take it take off today. Take it
66:11 like take it take off today. Take it easy. Don't do I swear to God. Like I
66:14 easy. Don't do I swear to God. Like I went jogged and everything before I came
66:15 went jogged and everything before I came here. Amen.
66:17 here. Amen. I heard you talk about before about like
66:19 I heard you talk about before about like a lot of men you don't feel like are
66:20 a lot of men you don't feel like are living their truth, right? You're not. I
66:24 living their truth, right? You're not. I feel like we're in a tough spot like um
66:26 feel like we're in a tough spot like um with like love and the value the moral
66:30 with like love and the value the moral value of relationships and stuff like
66:31 value of relationships and stuff like that. You're not like ain't nobody ain't
66:35 that. You're not like ain't nobody ain't nobody really loving people no more. I I
66:38 nobody really loving people no more. I I think I'm the only person right now
66:41 think I'm the only person right now that's like really living in
66:45 that's like really living in my authenticity. I'm talking about as
66:46 my authenticity. I'm talking about as far as like on the main stage like
66:48 far as like on the main stage like people say what's politically correct
66:50 people say what's politically correct and I don't give a [ __ ] what nobody
66:52 and I don't give a [ __ ] what nobody think about me cuz if everybody like me
66:54 think about me cuz if everybody like me that I'm [ __ ] you know what I'm saying?
66:56 that I'm [ __ ] you know what I'm saying? I'm just I want to be liked by
66:58 I'm just I want to be liked by everybody. He who is a friend to
67:00 everybody. He who is a friend to everyone is a friend to no one. I'm not
67:03 everyone is a friend to no one. I'm not a good I'm not friendly but I'm a great
67:05 a good I'm not friendly but I'm a great friend.
67:07 friend. And that's just my perspective on it.
67:09 And that's just my perspective on it. Like it's a lot of people that won't
67:12 Like it's a lot of people that won't allow themselves to love somebody based
67:14 allow themselves to love somebody based on their past situations or the bumps
67:17 on their past situations or the bumps and mistakes that they made and for fear
67:20 and mistakes that they made and for fear of how the rest of the world will look
67:22 of how the rest of the world will look at them. Yeah. I don't care how the
67:24 at them. Yeah. I don't care how the world look at me.
67:26 world look at me. Don't care.
67:28 Don't care. I'm living life out loud.
67:31 I'm living life out loud. Damn. Boom. Boom. Boom. Really? Really,
67:35 Damn. Boom. Boom. Boom. Really? Really, dude? I I'll tell you this, Kevin. I
67:37 dude? I I'll tell you this, Kevin. I Yeah. I've had I remember times in my
67:38 Yeah. I've had I remember times in my life I was like, man, I wouldn't date a
67:40 life I was like, man, I wouldn't date a certain girl because of what my friends
67:41 certain girl because of what my friends would think of her, bro. And then I I
67:43 would think of her, bro. And then I I spent like a couple years like that one
67:45 spent like a couple years like that one time. I had that problem. But but then I
67:47 time. I had that problem. But but then I I missed out on a good opportunity, too,
67:49 I missed out on a good opportunity, too, man. Once I started [ __ ] man, listen,
67:51 man. Once I started [ __ ] man, listen, once I start [ __ ] with this little
67:53 once I start [ __ ] with this little chick, everybody told me, "Don't [ __ ]
67:56 chick, everybody told me, "Don't [ __ ] with her." She ended up being And still
67:58 with her." She ended up being And still to this day, we still good friends. She
68:00 to this day, we still good friends. She one of the most solid people I ever met.
68:02 one of the most solid people I ever met. And this back from when I was still on
68:05 And this back from when I was still on the block, [ __ ] And we still cool. She
68:07 the block, [ __ ] And we still cool. She doing good for herself now. She in the
68:09 doing good for herself now. She in the real estate and [ __ ] now. But this from
68:11 real estate and [ __ ] now. But this from back when I was on the block with it. Oh
68:13 back when I was on the block with it. Oh yeah. She was dancing. She used to
68:15 yeah. She was dancing. She used to dance. Everybody, man, don't mess with
68:17 dance. Everybody, man, don't mess with her. She a stripper. She And she end up
68:19 her. She a stripper. She And she end up being one of the most solid people. And
68:21 being one of the most solid people. And that's when I realized it's the people
68:23 that's when I realized it's the people that the world say the most [ __ ] up
68:25 that the world say the most [ __ ] up [ __ ] about be the best people. And the
68:27 [ __ ] about be the best people. And the people everybody praise and be like,
68:29 people everybody praise and be like, "Yeah, this person, he's such a great
68:31 "Yeah, this person, he's such a great guy. They really be barbaric behind
68:33 guy. They really be barbaric behind closed door up. They don't have no
68:35 closed door up. They don't have no morals. They don't have no principles.
68:36 morals. They don't have no principles. They don't stand for nothing. So, I just
68:39 They don't stand for nothing. So, I just noticed like some of your better people
68:40 noticed like some of your better people be the people that everybody don't like.
68:43 be the people that everybody don't like. Well, I think it's tough for people. You
68:44 Well, I think it's tough for people. You kind of one of them people like when I
68:47 kind of one of them people like when I say authentic, like you pretty much do
68:51 say authentic, like you pretty much do your own [ __ ]
68:53 your own [ __ ] You one of them people to me to me like
68:56 You one of them people to me to me like you live in your authenticity. A lot of
68:58 you live in your authenticity. A lot of people be like the stuff that you say a
69:01 people be like the stuff that you say a lot of people wouldn't say it for fear
69:02 lot of people wouldn't say it for fear of how it would be perceived. you just
69:04 of how it would be perceived. you just said it and I'm like
69:07 said it and I'm like I [ __ ] with I can't help but to [ __ ]
69:09 I [ __ ] with I can't help but to [ __ ] with it. Like that's a good point. You
69:12 with it. Like that's a good point. You just real people. Thanks for the
69:14 just real people. Thanks for the compliment, man. Yeah, I try my best. I
69:16 compliment, man. Yeah, I try my best. I think the tough part is it was the
69:18 think the tough part is it was the truth. Like it was the truth, right? I
69:22 truth. Like it was the truth, right? I think the tough part uh is just
69:27 think the tough part uh is just I'm just always still trying to figure
69:29 I'm just always still trying to figure out who I am and I'm amazed at at new
69:30 out who I am and I'm amazed at at new things that come along. Most people
69:32 things that come along. Most people won't admit that. Like one of my albums
69:35 won't admit that. Like one of my albums that's about to come out is called Don't
69:36 that's about to come out is called Don't Know What I'm Doing cuz I don't know
69:38 Know What I'm Doing cuz I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Most people won't
69:41 what I'm doing. Yeah. Most people won't admit that they don't know what they
69:42 admit that they don't know what they doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm
69:44 doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still discovering new parts of myself
69:46 still discovering new parts of myself every day. I don't know. People be
69:49 every day. I don't know. People be asking me, "So, what you going to do
69:50 asking me, "So, what you going to do today?" I don't know.
69:52 today?" I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet.
69:55 I haven't figured it out yet. Uh, how do you keep your ego? Because
69:57 Uh, how do you keep your ego? Because this is something I've noticed in my
69:58 this is something I've noticed in my life, right? Like my ego, what do I do?
70:01 life, right? Like my ego, what do I do? What? How do I figure out what is my ego
70:03 What? How do I figure out what is my ego and what is uh self-confidence and
70:05 and what is uh self-confidence and self-worth? Like, do you know what I'm
70:07 self-worth? Like, do you know what I'm talking about? Your ego can slip in. To
70:10 talking about? Your ego can slip in. To be honest, 2025,
70:14 be honest, 2025, some people can say that I'm operating
70:16 some people can say that I'm operating out of ego, but I'm not giving to nobody
70:19 out of ego, but I'm not giving to nobody but me.
70:21 but me. Like, I'm not I've given everything I
70:23 Like, I'm not I've given everything I had to give and now everybody else can
70:25 had to give and now everybody else can just figure it out.
70:31 And as and we can say that's ego. That's cool. But when I go to the gym, I don't
70:33 cool. But when I go to the gym, I don't ego lift, right? I don't lift the
70:35 ego lift, right? I don't lift the heaviest weights in there. I do what's
70:38 heaviest weights in there. I do what's comfortable for me. I work at my own
70:41 comfortable for me. I work at my own pace. Hey, you know what? What I eat
70:43 pace. Hey, you know what? What I eat doesn't make you [ __ ] And what you eat
70:45 doesn't make you [ __ ] And what you eat doesn't make me [ __ ] So if you want to
70:47 doesn't make me [ __ ] So if you want to go in there and be the world's strongest
70:49 go in there and be the world's strongest person, you know, good luck, buddy.
70:51 person, you know, good luck, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Great for you.
70:55 Yeah. Yeah. Great for you. Do what works for me. And like I I
70:59 Do what works for me. And like I I always make sure am I getting what I
71:01 always make sure am I getting what I came for? I just want to get what I came
71:03 came for? I just want to get what I came for. Like what do you mean by that? Like
71:05 for. Like what do you mean by that? Like when I go to the gym, I don't get
71:07 when I go to the gym, I don't get sidetracked and socializing. Yeah. What
71:10 sidetracked and socializing. Yeah. What I mean by socializing is I knew I had
71:13 I mean by socializing is I knew I had this interview today and I already made
71:16 this interview today and I already made the commitment. So I'm going to honor
71:17 the commitment. So I'm going to honor that commitment. So when I went I'm just
71:19 that commitment. So when I went I'm just giving you a illustration for sure or
71:21 giving you a illustration for sure or example. So when I went to the gym
71:23 example. So when I went to the gym today, I went in there to get what I
71:24 today, I went in there to get what I came for. I ain't coming here to be
71:26 came for. I ain't coming here to be friendly. I ain't coming here to
71:27 friendly. I ain't coming here to socialize. And what I mean by
71:29 socialize. And what I mean by socializing is, you know, your uncle
71:30 socializing is, you know, your uncle passed by about y'all over there
71:31 passed by about y'all over there socializing, huh? Socializing. Yeah.
71:34 socializing, huh? Socializing. Yeah. Y'all over there socializing. You lying
71:36 Y'all over there socializing. You lying to him and he lying to you. Y'all lying
71:37 to him and he lying to you. Y'all lying to each other.
71:40 to each other. I ain't coming here to socialize.
71:43 I ain't coming here to socialize. Yeah, man. And I think having parameters
71:45 Yeah, man. And I think having parameters for yourself and boundaries for what
71:47 for yourself and boundaries for what your goals are that that's I think and
71:50 your goals are that that's I think and had I not did what I needed to do to
71:53 had I not did what I needed to do to raise my frequency, me going to the gym
71:55 raise my frequency, me going to the gym today was committing an act of self-
71:57 today was committing an act of self- loveve, I wouldn't have been able to do
71:59 loveve, I wouldn't have been able to do this, right? I feel great now. Yeah.
72:02 this, right? I feel great now. Yeah. Yeah. You feel amazing. Yeah. Your
72:04 Yeah. You feel amazing. Yeah. Your energy comes in and Yeah. It's funny cuz
72:07 energy comes in and Yeah. It's funny cuz you come in, I feel like, damn, I got to
72:09 you come in, I feel like, damn, I got to I want to be on a level. Well, you came
72:11 I want to be on a level. Well, you came in when I saw Jesse and every time I see
72:14 in when I saw Jesse and every time I see Jesse, I'm Jessie is a friend and he's
72:17 Jesse, I'm Jessie is a friend and he's always been a good friend of mine.
72:20 always been a good friend of mine. Lately, something's changed. If you're
72:21 Lately, something's changed. If you're watching this, Jesse, shout out to you,
72:23 watching this, Jesse, shout out to you, Jesse.
72:25 Jesse. He was like, every time I see him, he
72:27 He was like, every time I see him, he was like, he was like, every time he
72:30 was like, he was like, every time he sees me, he talks makes a song about
72:32 sees me, he talks makes a song about stealing my [ __ ] girl. And that's
72:34 stealing my [ __ ] girl. And that's just a joke that we got. Every time I
72:37 just a joke that we got. Every time I see him. Good to see you, Jesse, bro.
72:39 see him. Good to see you, Jesse, bro. Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this,
72:43 Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this, he's watching, man. If you're watching,
72:44 he's watching, man. If you're watching, Jesse, this one's for you, brother. It's
72:45 Jesse, this one's for you, brother. It's for you, buddy. This for you, buddy. Um,
72:49 for you, buddy. This for you, buddy. Um, did you have self-hatred and stuff? Did
72:51 did you have self-hatred and stuff? Did you deal with that? Of course. How'd you
72:53 you deal with that? Of course. How'd you know you had it?
72:55 know you had it? My actions.
72:57 My actions. You know who told me, who kind of
72:59 You know who told me, who kind of started the conversation?
73:02 started the conversation? I was talking to pliers one day. Really?
73:04 I was talking to pliers one day. Really? Yeah. And
73:06 Yeah. And it may not seem like it, but that's a
73:08 it may not seem like it, but that's a real intelligent dude. So he was like,
73:11 real intelligent dude. So he was like, "Man, Gase, that's something I be
73:13 "Man, Gase, that's something I be noticing, bro." He said, "Gase, man, you
73:16 noticing, bro." He said, "Gase, man, you be acting like a ugly [ __ ] man." I
73:18 be acting like a ugly [ __ ] man." I said, "What you mean? You just be you be
73:20 said, "What you mean? You just be you be moving around like a ugly [ __ ] man.
73:22 moving around like a ugly [ __ ] man. And you not ugly [ __ ] You handsome,
73:23 And you not ugly [ __ ] You handsome, but I'm just saying you be like a ugly
73:25 but I'm just saying you be like a ugly nigga." And I'll be like, "What you
73:27 nigga." And I'll be like, "What you mean, man? You about to have some
73:29 mean, man? You about to have some security with you. Can't nobody be just
73:32 security with you. Can't nobody be just touching you." And then we were sitting
73:35 touching you." And then we were sitting down at the table and a lady was trying
73:36 down at the table and a lady was trying to touch me. He said, "Hold on now, I'm
73:38 to touch me. He said, "Hold on now, I'm delicate." But I ain't know what he
73:40 delicate." But I ain't know what he meant, but he was talking about setting
73:42 meant, but he was talking about setting those energetic boundaries for yourself.
73:44 those energetic boundaries for yourself. Like everybody not supposed to have
73:46 Like everybody not supposed to have access to you cuz it's texting on your
73:48 access to you cuz it's texting on your spirit. It's draining. Yeah. It's
73:50 spirit. It's draining. Yeah. It's draining.
73:52 draining. Certain phone calls is draining. Oh,
73:54 Certain phone calls is draining. Oh, hello.
73:55 hello. Yeah. What's going on? They about to
73:58 Yeah. What's going on? They about to tell you some [ __ ] some bad news. I
74:00 tell you some [ __ ] some bad news. I don't want to hear that [ __ ] Yeah.
74:02 don't want to hear that [ __ ] Yeah. Maybe that's my ego. You You act like
74:04 Maybe that's my ego. You You act like you don't care. I don't. It's not that I
74:07 you don't care. I don't. It's not that I don't give a [ __ ] I could just give a
74:09 don't give a [ __ ] I could just give a [ __ ] less. Yeah. I care about me. Right.
74:14 [ __ ] less. Yeah. I care about me. Right. [ __ ] that. I don't want to hear that
74:16 [ __ ] that. I don't want to hear that [ __ ] Damn. Yeah. It's so true, man. Cuz
74:19 [ __ ] Damn. Yeah. It's so true, man. Cuz a person that don't you take it on. A
74:21 a person that don't you take it on. A person that don't you not doing the work
74:23 person that don't you not doing the work every day. Yeah. So, it's like
74:27 every day. Yeah. So, it's like I'm doing the work every day. So, a
74:29 I'm doing the work every day. So, a person that's not doing the work every
74:30 person that's not doing the work every day, it's really nothing you could tell
74:32 day, it's really nothing you could tell me cuz I'm doing the work every day.
74:35 me cuz I'm doing the work every day. Like, I go weeks sometime without
74:38 Like, I go weeks sometime without eating, when I'm fasting, when I need
74:39 eating, when I'm fasting, when I need clarity. I just stop eating. I'm 3 days
74:42 clarity. I just stop eating. I'm 3 days in, no food. You wouldn't even go 3
74:44 in, no food. You wouldn't even go 3 hours. Yeah. I'm hungry. I have a
74:46 hours. Yeah. I'm hungry. I have a headache. That's your body detoxing. So,
74:49 headache. That's your body detoxing. So, I don't even listen to people like that.
74:51 I don't even listen to people like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People don't care.
74:54 Yeah. Oh, yeah. People don't care. People get all fattened out or whatever
74:56 People get all fattened out or whatever they cook. Yeah. people just I mean food
74:59 they cook. Yeah. people just I mean food food could be used as a drug sometimes
75:02 food could be used as a drug sometimes sometime food could be used as a coping
75:04 sometime food could be used as a coping mechanism cuz I used to use food as a
75:06 mechanism cuz I used to use food as a coping mechanism sometime I overeat or
75:09 coping mechanism sometime I overeat or sometime I wouldn't eat what would your
75:10 sometime I wouldn't eat what would your snack be if you had a destin like a
75:12 snack be if you had a destin like a evening snack nighttime snack good night
75:15 evening snack nighttime snack good night Kevin or whatever snack now or then back
75:18 Kevin or whatever snack now or then back then I used to drink a lot of syrup
75:21 then I used to drink a lot of syrup straight syrup no I used to mix it with
75:23 straight syrup no I used to mix it with like the pineapple Uh the pineapple
75:28 like the pineapple Uh the pineapple suniss. Mhm. That's when activist was
75:30 suniss. Mhm. That's when activist was out. I used to like the cough syrup. I
75:32 out. I used to like the cough syrup. I used to mix it with pineapple suniss,
75:35 used to mix it with pineapple suniss, sprite, and mountain dew. Them was my
75:36 sprite, and mountain dew. Them was my favorites. Damn. And some syrup. Yeah.
75:39 favorites. Damn. And some syrup. Yeah. What kind of log cabin light or
75:40 What kind of log cabin light or whatever? Uh-uh. And then I used to have
75:44 whatever? Uh-uh. And then I used to have to eat what was my thing? My favorite
75:47 to eat what was my thing? My favorite thing to eat. I like the them little
75:49 thing to eat. I like the them little crust the uncrustables. The little
75:51 crust the uncrustables. The little peanut butter and jelly. I like the
75:53 peanut butter and jelly. I like the them. And what else? else I used to eat
75:58 them. And what else? else I used to eat something else I used to eat all the
76:00 something else I used to eat all the time.
76:02 time. I don't know if Doritos maybe or
76:04 I don't know if Doritos maybe or something. I don't know if it was
76:05 something. I don't know if it was chicken wings. It was something
76:08 chicken wings. It was something I forgot. It was something I used to eat
76:11 I forgot. It was something I used to eat all the time. I forgot it was I know it
76:13 all the time. I forgot it was I know it was unhealthy. Whatever it was. But
76:14 was unhealthy. Whatever it was. But you're talking about drugs. Yeah, I used
76:16 you're talking about drugs. Yeah, I used to do drug codine syrup. Yeah. I didn't
76:18 to do drug codine syrup. Yeah. I didn't know what you're talking about at first.
76:19 know what you're talking about at first. Yeah. Wow. And you were addicted to it?
76:22 Yeah. Wow. And you were addicted to it? I ain't going to say addicted, but you
76:24 I ain't going to say addicted, but you enjoy it. I didn't like it. I loved it.
76:26 enjoy it. I didn't like it. I loved it. Yeah. Yeah. I loved it.
76:30 Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. And but now I never went to rehab
76:31 And but now I never went to rehab either. You didn't?
76:34 either. You didn't? Rehab's for quitters. Yeah. I'm not
76:37 Rehab's for quitters. Yeah. I'm not trying to quit. How But you don't do
76:39 trying to quit. How But you don't do that anymore though? Cuz I found a new
76:41 that anymore though? Cuz I found a new drug.
76:43 drug. Fitness. Yeah. My new drug of choice. Do
76:46 Fitness. Yeah. My new drug of choice. Do you notice though? Are you able to
76:47 you notice though? Are you able to notice a different feeling of how much
76:49 notice a different feeling of how much different you feel making those Yeah. I
76:51 different you feel making those Yeah. I miss choices. I Yes. I'mma be honest and
76:54 miss choices. I Yes. I'mma be honest and I hate to say what I'm about to say.
76:57 I hate to say what I'm about to say. When people be like, "I miss the old
76:59 When people be like, "I miss the old Kevin." I get it cuz I miss the old
77:02 Kevin." I get it cuz I miss the old Eminem when he was on drugs. Yeah.
77:05 Eminem when he was on drugs. Yeah. That's the Eminem I like.
77:08 That's the Eminem I like. That's the Eminem I like. I like the
77:09 That's the Eminem I like. I like the Eminem that was on drugs. Oh yeah. So I
77:12 Eminem that was on drugs. Oh yeah. So I know what people mean when they, man,
77:14 know what people mean when they, man, I'm Mr. Old Kevin. I'm like, I get it. I
77:16 I'm Mr. Old Kevin. I'm like, I get it. I I get it.
77:19 I get it. Cuz you I miss him, too. I do. But I'm
77:22 Cuz you I miss him, too. I do. But I'm not about to sacrifice the way I feel
77:24 not about to sacrifice the way I feel for that. Like I love where I'm at now.
77:29 for that. Like I love where I'm at now. Well, I think that's a trap, too, is to
77:30 Well, I think that's a trap, too, is to stay where you are. You know, it's a
77:32 stay where you are. You know, it's a trap, man. You can grow with me or you
77:35 trap, man. You can grow with me or you can grow without me. But either way,
77:36 can grow without me. But either way, it's on with me. But I do get it though
77:39 it's on with me. But I do get it though when people say, "Man, I miss the old
77:40 when people say, "Man, I miss the old Kevin." Cuz I miss the old Eminem. I do.
77:44 Kevin." Cuz I miss the old Eminem. I do. I miss the old Eminem. I swear to God, I
77:47 I miss the old Eminem. I swear to God, I do. Oh, yeah. I believe that. I miss
77:49 do. Oh, yeah. I believe that. I miss there. There's times in my own life that
77:50 there. There's times in my own life that I miss. There's times in my life where I
77:52 I miss. There's times in my life where I felt like I was funnier or like had
77:54 felt like I was funnier or like had better ideas and stuff, but things just
77:56 better ideas and stuff, but things just change and sometimes it's different. I
77:57 change and sometimes it's different. I like I like where I'm at now. Yeah, this
77:59 like I like where I'm at now. Yeah, this I like where I'm at now, man. I'm a
78:02 I like where I'm at now, man. I'm a [ __ ] supermodel, man. I love
78:04 [ __ ] supermodel, man. I love where I'm at now. This [ __ ] different
78:06 where I'm at now. This [ __ ] different now. I used to couldn't even do the
78:08 now. I used to couldn't even do the wheel, the ad wheel. Now I do that [ __ ]
78:10 wheel, the ad wheel. Now I do that [ __ ] effortless. Really? I go jogging in the
78:12 effortless. Really? I go jogging in the morning. Effortless. It's just
78:14 morning. Effortless. It's just automatic. When I stretch, it's
78:15 automatic. When I stretch, it's effortless.
78:17 effortless. When I [ __ ] my [ __ ] it's just
78:19 When I [ __ ] my [ __ ] it's just effortless.
78:20 effortless. And I I just I do everything better. And
78:23 And I I just I do everything better. And I hate to say what I just said, but it's
78:25 I hate to say what I just said, but it's the God honest truth. I just I wouldn't
78:27 the God honest truth. I just I wouldn't change this for the world. It was time
78:29 change this for the world. It was time drinking, sir. My dick wouldn't even get
78:30 drinking, sir. My dick wouldn't even get hard. Oh yeah. And not to get off on
78:32 hard. Oh yeah. And not to get off on those sexually related T, but I had
78:34 those sexually related T, but I had erectile dysfunction at 20, what 23, 24
78:37 erectile dysfunction at 20, what 23, 24 years old because of all the drugs I was
78:40 years old because of all the drugs I was doing. So I'm okay. I would never trade
78:44 doing. So I'm okay. I would never trade that for this. I love where I'm at now.
78:47 that for this. I love where I'm at now. I can sing better.
78:50 I can sing better. like my singing voice has matured now
78:52 like my singing voice has matured now because I'm not on drugs. So I I love
78:55 because I'm not on drugs. So I I love where I'm at now. The music that I make
78:57 where I'm at now. The music that I make is I make music that I can work out in
78:59 is I make music that I can work out in the gym too now. So I you know not other
79:02 the gym too now. So I you know not other I get it though. I get it. I understand.
79:05 I get it though. I get it. I understand. Yeah. But I don't care. But I
79:08 Yeah. But I don't care. But I understand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I miss
79:11 understand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I miss the old gates. Yeah. Oh dude. Yeah. I
79:14 the old gates. Yeah. Oh dude. Yeah. I think it's great. But I think the New
79:16 think it's great. But I think the New Gates is really
79:18 Gates is really prophetic.
79:21 prophetic. I think the New Gates says some things
79:22 I think the New Gates says some things that are really I think the New Yo, bro.
79:24 that are really I think the New Yo, bro. Say, "Bro, I love you, bro. You scaring
79:27 Say, "Bro, I love you, bro. You scaring me right now." I am. Yeah. Sorry. I
79:30 me right now." I am. Yeah. Sorry. I don't want to be a prophet.
79:33 don't want to be a prophet. Okay. I want That's scary. Like,
79:37 Okay. I want That's scary. Like, that's scary when you say [ __ ] like
79:38 that's scary when you say [ __ ] like that. Like, you know, you That's crazy.
79:42 that. Like, you know, you That's crazy. like you the first person that I ever
79:44 like you the first person that I ever sat in front of that said that to me
79:47 sat in front of that said that to me like
79:49 like thank you I love you for being able to
79:51 thank you I love you for being able to see me but that's that's scary. Yeah.
79:54 see me but that's that's scary. Yeah. Maybe it's unnecessary kind of and I
79:56 Maybe it's unnecessary kind of and I don't mean I don't mean it like that.
79:57 don't mean I don't mean it like that. It's it's somebody else that's when they
79:59 It's it's somebody else that's when they see this they going to be like see I
80:00 see this they going to be like see I told you cuz it's some people that argue
80:02 told you cuz it's some people that argue with me like I told you you was a
80:04 with me like I told you you was a prophet. I'm like but prophets are
80:05 prophet. I'm like but prophets are perfect.
80:07 perfect. I'm not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't
80:11 I'm not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't think that I wouldn't have made it in
80:13 think that I wouldn't have made it in the book. Hey, I tell you it's good
80:14 the book. Hey, I tell you it's good thing I wasn't around Jesus. I'd have
80:17 thing I wasn't around Jesus. I'd have made us look bad. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of
80:19 made us look bad. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of a disciple, you didn't need some made us
80:21 a disciple, you didn't need some made us look bad. You know what I'm saying? In
80:24 look bad. You know what I'm saying? In general, most let's get prophets right
80:25 general, most let's get prophets right here. In general, most religious
80:26 here. In general, most religious traditions do not consider prophets to
80:28 traditions do not consider prophets to be perfect in the sense of being
80:29 be perfect in the sense of being entirely free from error or sin. While
80:32 entirely free from error or sin. While they're often revered for the divine
80:33 they're often revered for the divine connection and ability to convey God's
80:35 connection and ability to convey God's message, that's still a lot of pressure.
80:38 message, that's still a lot of pressure. I just like, man, I like the new bars
80:39 I just like, man, I like the new bars you have. have just as much as the old
80:41 you have. have just as much as the old bars, man. That's what I like. Hey, at
80:42 bars, man. That's what I like. Hey, at least somebody cares. That's what I
80:44 least somebody cares. That's what I like, too. At least somebody cares. Um,
80:47 like, too. At least somebody cares. Um, he's But it's just it's and it's not to
80:51 he's But it's just it's and it's not to say that that you wrong for saying that.
80:53 say that that you wrong for saying that. It's just a few people in my camp, in my
80:55 It's just a few people in my camp, in my circle, they be like, you know, you're a
80:57 circle, they be like, you know, you're a prophet, right? And I'm like, no, I
80:58 prophet, right? And I'm like, no, I don't want to be that. And I guess it's
81:00 don't want to be that. And I guess it's me shying away from the responsibility
81:02 me shying away from the responsibility of that. I don't want that
81:04 of that. I don't want that responsibility.
81:06 responsibility. If I said something and it helped, take
81:08 If I said something and it helped, take it for what it's worth. I made a bunch
81:10 it for what it's worth. I made a bunch of mistakes to to get whatever knowledge
81:12 of mistakes to to get whatever knowledge and wisdom I gave you. I made a bunch of
81:14 and wisdom I gave you. I made a bunch of mistakes to get to that point.
81:18 mistakes to get to that point. Did um
81:20 Did um how do you be a parent that was
81:22 how do you be a parent that was different than how you was parented?
81:25 different than how you was parented? Um cuz that's one of the most important
81:27 Um cuz that's one of the most important things. We could go anywhere. Mhm. We
81:29 things. We could go anywhere. Mhm. We could go anywhere like because the truth
81:32 could go anywhere like because the truth hurts but it heals. So we could go we
81:35 hurts but it heals. So we could go we could have any kind of conversation.
81:37 could have any kind of conversation. What makes me a better parent is I was
81:40 What makes me a better parent is I was sexually victimized and I didn't have a
81:43 sexually victimized and I didn't have a safe place to communicate. I created a
81:46 safe place to communicate. I created a space for my children to communicate
81:48 space for my children to communicate with me. So they say when you work on
81:50 with me. So they say when you work on yourself, you heal seven generations
81:52 yourself, you heal seven generations backwards and seven generations forward.
81:55 backwards and seven generations forward. And damn, I hate to say this, but
82:00 And damn, I hate to say this, but somebody before me, they was sexually
82:03 somebody before me, they was sexually victimized also. So it was like
82:05 victimized also. So it was like something that kind of ran in the
82:07 something that kind of ran in the family. Oh yeah. Like a learn behavior
82:09 family. Oh yeah. Like a learn behavior or Okay. Yeah. It was it was like they
82:11 or Okay. Yeah. It was it was like they had went through the same thing. And
82:16 had went through the same thing. And by me creating that space for my
82:18 by me creating that space for my children to be able to communicate with
82:19 children to be able to communicate with me. Don't nobody never touch you there.
82:21 me. Don't nobody never touch you there. Nobody, you know, you always talk to me.
82:24 Nobody, you know, you always talk to me. I don't judge my children. Long as you
82:26 I don't judge my children. Long as you tell me the truth, I'm never going to be
82:27 tell me the truth, I'm never going to be upset with you. No matter what it is,
82:28 upset with you. No matter what it is, I'm here to help you figure it out. You
82:31 I'm here to help you figure it out. You know, that's me. So anyway, I broke
82:34 know, that's me. So anyway, I broke those generational curses or gen, excuse
82:36 those generational curses or gen, excuse me, generational traumas. Let's say that
82:38 me, generational traumas. Let's say that they not generational curse,
82:40 they not generational curse, generational traumas. So I broke that.
82:43 generational traumas. So I broke that. And the reason I don't really speak on
82:44 And the reason I don't really speak on that like because it was um
82:49 that like because it was um my family still kind of healing from
82:51 my family still kind of healing from that situation. Like me and my mother,
82:53 that situation. Like me and my mother, we we got a beautiful relationship now.
82:56 we we got a beautiful relationship now. Like it's super beautiful. But it was a
82:58 Like it's super beautiful. But it was a strange for a while. Yeah. because I
83:01 strange for a while. Yeah. because I wasn't able to communicate.
83:03 wasn't able to communicate. So now it's beautiful because we
83:05 So now it's beautiful because we communicate. And me going back and
83:07 communicate. And me going back and forgiving my mother and forgiving myself
83:09 forgiving my mother and forgiving myself and things of that nature, you got to
83:12 and things of that nature, you got to realize
83:13 realize they didn't know what they was doing.
83:16 they didn't know what they was doing. Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said,
83:18 Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said, "This is how you rear children." Yeah.
83:20 "This is how you rear children." Yeah. So when they hear shocking news like
83:21 So when they hear shocking news like that, the first thing they do panic.
83:24 that, the first thing they do panic. They don't think to act. But me, I think
83:27 They don't think to act. But me, I think to act. I don't think to just say, "Oh,
83:30 to act. I don't think to just say, "Oh, God. Oh, what? That's not how you stop
83:32 God. Oh, what? That's not how you stop bullying." Fighting solves everything. I
83:36 bullying." Fighting solves everything. I teach my children that fighting solves
83:38 teach my children that fighting solves everything. Like I tell my son, like if
83:40 everything. Like I tell my son, like if you go to school and if somebody say
83:43 you go to school and if somebody say something to you, don't worry about
83:44 something to you, don't worry about that. But if somebody put their hands on
83:45 that. But if somebody put their hands on you, you punch them right in their nose
83:47 you, you punch them right in their nose and you don't stop. You keep going. When
83:50 and you don't stop. You keep going. When I come to the school, I'm going to be
83:52 I come to the school, I'm going to be like, "I can't believe you did all this
83:53 like, "I can't believe you did all this [ __ ] ass [ __ ] I swear to God, I'mma
83:55 [ __ ] ass [ __ ] I swear to God, I'mma kill your [ __ ] I'mma do all I'm
83:57 kill your [ __ ] I'mma do all I'm going to make it look good when I get
83:58 going to make it look good when I get there. Then after that, I'm going to
84:00 there. Then after that, I'm going to take you and buy you every toy in the
84:01 take you and buy you every toy in the store because fighting sauce is
84:03 store because fighting sauce is everything.
84:05 everything. You got to Yeah, you got to We don't
84:06 You got to Yeah, you got to We don't Hey, we don't What's that coach that
84:09 Hey, we don't What's that coach that that Texas What did he say? We don't We
84:11 that Texas What did he say? We don't We don't raise no [ __ ] What? I forgot.
84:15 don't raise no [ __ ] What? I forgot. I forgot. Football guy. Yeah. He said,
84:17 I forgot. Football guy. Yeah. He said, "We don't raise no pussies." He died,
84:19 "We don't raise no pussies." He died, didn't he? I forgot the coach name. I
84:21 didn't he? I forgot the coach name. I just seen that [ __ ] Woody Allen. Yeah.
84:23 just seen that [ __ ] Woody Allen. Yeah. Michael Leech. He was like, "We don't
84:24 Michael Leech. He was like, "We don't raise no pussies." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But
84:26 raise no pussies." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's just that's just one of my
84:29 that's just that's just one of my biggest things when I could say that the
84:30 biggest things when I could say that the way I parent is different. I don't
84:33 way I parent is different. I don't parent like that. I parent different.
84:35 parent like that. I parent different. Like will you like uh I parent like
84:38 Like will you like uh I parent like coach Knight. Yeah. But yeah, I parent
84:42 coach Knight. Yeah. But yeah, I parent like Coach Knight.
84:45 like Coach Knight. I parent like a coach. Okay. My
84:48 I parent like a coach. Okay. My grandfather was like a coach. Like that
84:50 grandfather was like a coach. Like that tough love. That's how I parent.
84:54 tough love. That's how I parent. Yeah. Yeah, I think people don't realize
84:55 Yeah. Yeah, I think people don't realize like how they look at their children too
84:56 like how they look at their children too is important. If you always look at your
84:58 is important. If you always look at your child with like will you go do that or
85:00 child with like will you go do that or this is wrong or something then they
85:02 this is wrong or something then they that's they feel like something is
85:03 that's they feel like something is always wrong, right? Like the look you
85:05 always wrong, right? Like the look you put into your child's eyes. You like
85:07 put into your child's eyes. You like your your child is kind of like a cup
85:08 your your child is kind of like a cup and you're like a picture. It is
85:10 and you're like a picture. It is accountability going on like they have
85:12 accountability going on like they have to make their beds, they have to go to
85:13 to make their beds, they have to go to school, they have to do these things and
85:15 school, they have to do these things and if not then you can't play the game,
85:16 if not then you can't play the game, right? You going to have to take
85:18 right? You going to have to take accountability like my son and my
85:19 accountability like my son and my daughter know and my daughter Yeah, she
85:22 daughter know and my daughter Yeah, she not even 13 yet. She came to me and told
85:24 not even 13 yet. She came to me and told me, "Daddy, is there anything I could uh
85:27 me, "Daddy, is there anything I could uh help do around the house to make your
85:28 help do around the house to make your life more easier?" Like, one of her
85:30 life more easier?" Like, one of her chores is you keep the kitchen clean.
85:32 chores is you keep the kitchen clean. Still got to make your bed. Still got to
85:33 Still got to make your bed. Still got to go to school, but you keep the kitchen
85:34 go to school, but you keep the kitchen clean. My son, you got to make your bed.
85:37 clean. My son, you got to make your bed. Still got to go to school, but you make
85:38 Still got to go to school, but you make sure the trash put out. And I just give
85:40 sure the trash put out. And I just give them little jobs. Yeah. And then you
85:42 them little jobs. Yeah. And then you earn what you you earn your wages. Yeah.
85:46 earn what you you earn your wages. Yeah. I pay him I pay him $250 a week. Do you
85:49 I pay him I pay him $250 a week. Do you really? $250?
85:50 really? $250? God dang, bro. I pay him 250 a week. You
85:55 God dang, bro. I pay him 250 a week. You want Robux, you want that? You know, you
85:57 want Robux, you want that? You know, you got to I pay them. Wow. Damn. They could
86:01 got to I pay them. Wow. Damn. They could have work. Oh yeah. They could have a
86:03 have work. Oh yeah. They could have a Chevy sedan by September. That's a good
86:05 Chevy sedan by September. That's a good amount of money. Yeah. My daughter, she
86:07 amount of money. Yeah. My daughter, she like into the furry costumes. Mhm. They
86:10 like into the furry costumes. Mhm. They be dressing up like Don't kill me cuz I
86:14 be dressing up like Don't kill me cuz I don't want to say it cuz she real
86:15 don't want to say it cuz she real defensive about this. No, it's not.
86:17 defensive about this. No, it's not. That's what it's called. It's called
86:18 That's what it's called. It's called this. I don't know the name of it, but
86:20 this. I don't know the name of it, but they they dress up like animals. And I
86:23 they they dress up like animals. And I did it one time with her. Okay. And that
86:25 did it one time with her. Okay. And that was my way of like going into her world.
86:27 was my way of like going into her world. And she was like, "I want to post a
86:29 And she was like, "I want to post a video that me and you did on TikTok, but
86:31 video that me and you did on TikTok, but I'm scared people are going to hate on
86:32 I'm scared people are going to hate on it." I said, "Promise me you going to do
86:34 it." I said, "Promise me you going to do one thing." She said, "What?" I heard
86:36 one thing." She said, "What?" I heard Floyd Mayweather say this. say, "No
86:38 Floyd Mayweather say this. say, "No matter what you do, if you do something
86:40 matter what you do, if you do something good, if you do something bad, if you do
86:43 good, if you do something bad, if you do something for yourself or you do
86:44 something for yourself or you do something for other people, people gonna
86:46 something for other people, people gonna always have something to say about you.
86:48 always have something to say about you. So, just promise me that you going to
86:50 So, just promise me that you going to make yourself happy." Oh, yeah. That's
86:52 make yourself happy." Oh, yeah. That's me right there. I'm about to come in on
86:54 me right there. I'm about to come in on the furry. Yeah, that's me right there.
86:55 the furry. Yeah, that's me right there. Look, Kevin. Yeah, that's beautiful,
86:58 Look, Kevin. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. Ooh. Oh, wow. And what animal is
87:02 man. Ooh. Oh, wow. And what animal is that? A uh I don't know what I was. I
87:05 that? A uh I don't know what I was. I think I was like a little a little wolf
87:06 think I was like a little a little wolf or something. Yeah, that's her damn
87:08 or something. Yeah, that's her damn little cinjun wolf. And then so she she
87:11 little cinjun wolf. And then so she she was she was afraid to post it, but then
87:13 was she was afraid to post it, but then once she posted it, the [ __ ] went viral
87:16 once she posted it, the [ __ ] went viral like cuz she was already lit in the
87:18 like cuz she was already lit in the furry community. Oh, I hope I'm saying
87:20 furry community. Oh, I hope I'm saying it right. Eley, if you watching me,
87:22 it right. Eley, if you watching me, don't. Yeah, young lady. We're just
87:24 don't. Yeah, young lady. We're just trying. Your father's just honoring what
87:26 trying. Your father's just honoring what you guys got going on there. That was my
87:28 you guys got going on there. That was my way of going in the whole world, right?
87:30 way of going in the whole world, right? And saying, "Look, I'm proud of what I
87:32 And saying, "Look, I'm proud of what I do. I spend time with my daughter."
87:33 do. I spend time with my daughter." Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm proud I'm proud of
87:36 Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm proud I'm proud of them. Like just telling them you love
87:38 them. Like just telling them you love them every day, hugging on them and
87:40 them every day, hugging on them and letting them know, "Hey, I'm proud of
87:41 letting them know, "Hey, I'm proud of you." Oh yeah. Like that reassurance.
87:44 you." Oh yeah. Like that reassurance. Oh, dude. They not afraid to make me
87:46 Oh, dude. They not afraid to make me mad. You know what they're afraid to do?
87:48 mad. You know what they're afraid to do? Disappoint me. The same way I'm afraid
87:50 Disappoint me. The same way I'm afraid to disappoint God. They're afraid to
87:52 to disappoint God. They're afraid to disappoint me.
87:54 disappoint me. Yeah. That relationship is just so
87:56 Yeah. That relationship is just so important, man. It's so important, you
87:58 important, man. It's so important, you know? Like Yeah. I remember I h
88:02 know? Like Yeah. I remember I h I was I was so angry as a kid, man. Um,
88:06 I was I was so angry as a kid, man. Um, I wish I'd had that relationship. I used
88:08 I wish I'd had that relationship. I used to get angry like if I see somebody
88:10 to get angry like if I see somebody spending time with their father playing
88:12 spending time with their father playing basketball, I'd be like, "Bitch ass."
88:13 basketball, I'd be like, "Bitch ass." Yeah. Cuz I wanted that. But now I am
88:16 Yeah. Cuz I wanted that. But now I am that.
88:17 that. And then I can't be upset with my real
88:20 And then I can't be upset with my real father cuz we had some beautiful times
88:22 father cuz we had some beautiful times together. Oh yeah. We had some beautiful
88:24 together. Oh yeah. We had some beautiful times together. The times we had Yeah.
88:28 times together. The times we had Yeah. What was a special time? You My mom I
88:30 What was a special time? You My mom I remember one time. So my mom delivered
88:31 remember one time. So my mom delivered like newspapers and stuff, you know. So,
88:34 like newspapers and stuff, you know. So, one time I think I got sick as I
88:37 one time I think I got sick as I couldn't go to school, but she had to
88:39 couldn't go to school, but she had to work and so I got to go on her route
88:41 work and so I got to go on her route with her and she would go uh and then we
88:44 with her and she would go uh and then we took a ride. We went out to over by
88:46 took a ride. We went out to over by Pikune and we went they had a Wendy's
88:49 Pikune and we went they had a Wendy's over there and we got a Wendy's sandwich
88:51 over there and we got a Wendy's sandwich over there and it was like the only time
88:52 over there and it was like the only time I ever remember doing something just me
88:54 I ever remember doing something just me and my mom. But I remembered just
88:56 and my mom. But I remembered just everything about it, how I was sitting,
88:58 everything about it, how I was sitting, what we were doing, just we had like a
89:00 what we were doing, just we had like a nice day together, you know, and but I
89:04 nice day together, you know, and but I had to get sick at school to even just
89:05 had to get sick at school to even just cuz my mom always had to work. So I'm
89:08 cuz my mom always had to work. So I'm not like whining about it. It's just
89:09 not like whining about it. It's just like but I remember that it was
89:10 like but I remember that it was important to me you know as we get older
89:14 important to me you know as we get older sometime it let us know that
89:17 sometime it let us know that the act of love that they had coming
89:19 the act of love that they had coming from where we come from was them
89:21 from where we come from was them sacrificing time with us to make sure
89:24 sacrificing time with us to make sure that we had food on the table is looking
89:28 that we had food on the table is looking at it in hindsight that's a good point
89:30 at it in hindsight that's a good point make me like damn like I appreciate you
89:32 make me like damn like I appreciate you more like even my children understand
89:34 more like even my children understand like in October I'm going on tour I love
89:37 like in October I'm going on tour I love y'all but I got to go do this, but I
89:40 y'all but I got to go do this, but I love y'all. Right. So, I spend as much
89:42 love y'all. Right. So, I spend as much time as I can with y'all, but also I got
89:45 time as I can with y'all, but also I got to go do this in October, but I love
89:47 to go do this in October, but I love y'all. Yeah. For me to for to have a new
89:50 y'all. Yeah. For me to for to have a new perspective instead of, man, I bet my
89:51 perspective instead of, man, I bet my mom didn't want to leave me to go to
89:53 mom didn't want to leave me to go to work. Instead, I'm thinking, what parent
89:55 work. Instead, I'm thinking, what parent does, right? Nobody leaves earth saying,
89:57 does, right? Nobody leaves earth saying, "Hey, I should have wish I could have
89:58 "Hey, I should have wish I could have spent more time throwing the papers out,
90:01 spent more time throwing the papers out, delivering the papers." Everybody leave,
90:04 delivering the papers." Everybody leave, even the most the richest businessman on
90:06 even the most the richest businessman on men on earth, they leave and say, "I
90:08 men on earth, they leave and say, "I wish I could have spent more time with
90:09 wish I could have spent more time with my family." Yeah. But it's beautiful
90:11 my family." Yeah. But it's beautiful because it's about balance. And I don't
90:13 because it's about balance. And I don't beat myself up for the time that I'm not
90:15 beat myself up for the time that I'm not there. I understand that they
90:17 there. I understand that they understand.
90:19 understand. Cuz I talk to them. I don't I don't baby
90:21 Cuz I talk to them. I don't I don't baby talk. I talk to them regular. Yeah. I
90:23 talk. I talk to them regular. Yeah. I think that's the biggest thing is
90:24 think that's the biggest thing is communicating what's going on probably,
90:25 communicating what's going on probably, you know. Um what uh Yeah. What's What's
90:29 you know. Um what uh Yeah. What's What's different about your tour this time? How
90:30 different about your tour this time? How do you feel about it? Like do you notice
90:32 do you feel about it? Like do you notice that that changes for you as you grow
90:34 that that changes for you as you grow up? What's different about my tour this
90:36 up? What's different about my tour this time? Cuz in October it starts. Yeah.
90:38 time? Cuz in October it starts. Yeah. Me.
90:41 Me. Me. It's just another thing. I'm
90:42 Me. It's just another thing. I'm different.
90:44 different. I'm not the same person I was last year.
90:46 I'm not the same person I was last year. I'm better. Okay. Way better. And
90:55 man, I could go down the list, but I can say one of the biggest things
90:58 say one of the biggest things I start giving myself grace. I don't
91:01 I start giving myself grace. I don't beat myself up no more.
91:03 beat myself up no more. I used to beat myself up. Yeah. What
91:07 I used to beat myself up. Yeah. What would you say like in your head? What
91:08 would you say like in your head? What would that be like? You think you I beat
91:11 would that be like? You think you I beat myself up? I The way I would beat myself
91:15 myself up? I The way I would beat myself up is I will replay something I did and
91:17 up is I will replay something I did and it'll bring shame till I almost cringe
91:20 it'll bring shame till I almost cringe when I think about it. Like Yeah. Like
91:23 when I think about it. Like Yeah. Like no man players like I tell myself like I
91:27 no man players like I tell myself like I excuse me you probably don't know this.
91:29 excuse me you probably don't know this. I talk to myself. Okay, all geniuses
91:31 I talk to myself. Okay, all geniuses talk to their self. And ever since I
91:34 talk to their self. And ever since I read that, it kind of gave me the green
91:36 read that, it kind of gave me the green light to start talking to myself more.
91:39 light to start talking to myself more. But if I do something, I be like,
91:40 But if I do something, I be like, players [ __ ] up, too. Oh, players [ __ ]
91:43 players [ __ ] up, too. Oh, players [ __ ] up, too. Players do [ __ ] up. Players
91:46 up, too. Players do [ __ ] up. Players [ __ ] up, too. And I always tell myself,
91:48 [ __ ] up, too. And I always tell myself, man, players [ __ ] up, too. Learn from
91:50 man, players [ __ ] up, too. Learn from your mistakes. Don't make them. And I
91:52 your mistakes. Don't make them. And I talk to myself. I used to be hard on
91:54 talk to myself. I used to be hard on myself like like a coach. Like, hey,
91:56 myself like like a coach. Like, hey, [ __ ] Yeah. But I I still I'm still
91:59 [ __ ] Yeah. But I I still I'm still like a coach in the gym. I'll be like
92:00 like a coach in the gym. I'll be like there, [ __ ] I'll be like, "Hey, hey,
92:03 there, [ __ ] I'll be like, "Hey, hey, hey, the weights ain't going to push
92:04 hey, the weights ain't going to push theyel." Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
92:06 theyel." Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You got enough strength to do that, but
92:08 You got enough strength to do that, but you ain't got enough strength to lift
92:09 you ain't got enough strength to lift the cover and get up and go to the gym.
92:10 the cover and get up and go to the gym. You know what I'm saying? So, it's just
92:12 You know what I'm saying? So, it's just I'm I'm
92:15 I'm I'm more like
92:17 more like motivational toward myself with that.
92:20 motivational toward myself with that. But if I if it's a cuz you know you have
92:24 But if I if it's a cuz you know you have moments that might come up from the past
92:25 moments that might come up from the past and it might just come up in your in
92:27 and it might just come up in your in your mental inventory and then when it
92:29 your mental inventory and then when it come up instead of running from it all
92:30 come up instead of running from it all the time I go like that instead Yeah. I
92:32 the time I go like that instead Yeah. I do that all the time and then you know
92:34 do that all the time and then you know what I start doing? I sit with it man.
92:37 what I start doing? I sit with it man. Play the [ __ ] up too. That [ __ ] ain't
92:39 Play the [ __ ] up too. That [ __ ] ain't nothing. You the only one remember that
92:42 nothing. You the only one remember that Kevin. Don't nobody else even remember
92:43 Kevin. Don't nobody else even remember that [ __ ] That's crazy. Don't nobody
92:45 that [ __ ] That's crazy. Don't nobody remember that [ __ ] The only thing
92:46 remember that [ __ ] The only thing keeping that fe that that messed up
92:48 keeping that fe that that messed up moment alive is you. Yeah. I'm giving
92:50 moment alive is you. Yeah. I'm giving energy to that [ __ ] man. Play as us
92:52 energy to that [ __ ] man. Play as us [ __ ] up, too, man. I'm fly. Play as us
92:54 [ __ ] up, too, man. I'm fly. Play as us [ __ ] up, too. Play as us [ __ ] up, too,
92:56 [ __ ] up, too. Play as us [ __ ] up, too, man. I might walk out of here and trip,
92:57 man. I might walk out of here and trip, but I'm going to make Hey, it's going to
92:59 but I'm going to make Hey, it's going to be a fly. When I trip, I might do a lit
93:01 be a fly. When I trip, I might do a lit dance move or something. It's going to
93:03 dance move or something. It's going to be a fly trip when I trip. Oh, ain't
93:05 be a fly trip when I trip. Oh, ain't nobody trip better than me. Yeah, man.
93:08 nobody trip better than me. Yeah, man. That [ __ ] would be beautiful. Players
93:10 That [ __ ] would be beautiful. Players [ __ ] up, too, dude. If I see you trip,
93:12 [ __ ] up, too, dude. If I see you trip, I'm be like, man, players f Hey, that's
93:15 I'm be like, man, players f Hey, that's graceful, bro. Players I'm laugh at
93:16 graceful, bro. Players I'm laugh at myself. Yeah, I don't care who see me
93:19 myself. Yeah, I don't care who see me make a mistake. I've been on stage
93:21 make a mistake. I've been on stage sometime make a mistake. Hey, excuse me.
93:23 sometime make a mistake. Hey, excuse me. I just made a mistake. Hey, the
93:24 I just made a mistake. Hey, the beautiful thing about mistakes is it's
93:26 beautiful thing about mistakes is it's okay for people to see you make a
93:27 okay for people to see you make a mistake. Just don't never let a
93:29 mistake. Just don't never let a [ __ ] see you quit. You going to
93:31 [ __ ] see you quit. You going to watch me make mistakes, but you ain't
93:33 watch me make mistakes, but you ain't going to never watch me quit.
93:36 going to never watch me quit. I still, like I tell people, I still
93:37 I still, like I tell people, I still don't get tired.
93:40 don't get tired. I've been up since 3:30. Yeah, I've
93:42 I've been up since 3:30. Yeah, I've heard that in your song, too. Yeah, I
93:43 heard that in your song, too. Yeah, I still don't get tired. I've been up
93:44 still don't get tired. I've been up since like 3:30 this morning.
93:47 since like 3:30 this morning. Dang, bro. I'm [ __ ] fired up all of a
93:50 Dang, bro. I'm [ __ ] fired up all of a sudden. Yeah. Energy only translate to
93:52 sudden. Yeah. Energy only translate to more energy. Is that true? Yeah. Like
93:56 more energy. Is that true? Yeah. Like energy translate to more energy. Now
93:58 energy translate to more energy. Now once I go eat my meal, supposed to be
94:01 once I go eat my meal, supposed to be having supposed to be having uh 20
94:03 having supposed to be having uh 20 million. Supposed to be having dinner
94:04 million. Supposed to be having dinner tonight. Oh, that's why I had on this
94:06 tonight. Oh, that's why I had on this soup. Okay. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm
94:08 soup. Okay. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm supposed to be having dinner, but uh
94:12 supposed to be having dinner, but uh 2 million. But anyway, but uh you got a
94:17 2 million. But anyway, but uh you got a day for dinner. Supposed to be having
94:18 day for dinner. Supposed to be having dinner, but after I get after I eat that
94:20 dinner, but after I get after I eat that meal, going to get some good rest. Oh, I
94:23 meal, going to get some good rest. Oh, I love that. I love getting a good rest.
94:26 love that. I love getting a good rest. Do you have um I want to ask you a
94:28 Do you have um I want to ask you a couple more things before you go. You
94:30 couple more things before you go. You You have a You are religious, man.
94:35 You have a You are religious, man. Religious smidges. Yeah. Religious
94:39 Religious smidges. Yeah. Religious smidges. But yeah, I guess. Or do you
94:42 smidges. But yeah, I guess. Or do you feel like a Cuz people say that you're a
94:44 feel like a Cuz people say that you're a Muslim man. I'm going be honest. I'm
94:46 Muslim man. I'm going be honest. I'm spiritual. Okay. I'm spiritual. But like
94:50 spiritual. Okay. I'm spiritual. But like the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means
94:52 the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means believer, right? So I'm a believer, but
94:55 believer, right? So I'm a believer, but I'm very spiritual. Got it. Like I
94:58 I'm very spiritual. Got it. Like I believe spirituality is if I walk in a
95:01 believe spirituality is if I walk in a room and something don't feel right and
95:04 room and something don't feel right and I leave, something bad happened, I
95:08 I leave, something bad happened, I believe I was guided by God to leave. M
95:10 believe I was guided by God to leave. M I done been in a club in New York. I'm
95:12 I done been in a club in New York. I'm like, "Come on, let's go." We go
95:14 like, "Come on, let's go." We go outside. Soon as we go outside, a fight
95:16 outside. Soon as we go outside, a fight break out, somebody get shot, but I just
95:19 break out, somebody get shot, but I just felt like it was time to go. And I just
95:22 felt like it was time to go. And I just always been like that. Why do you think
95:24 always been like that. Why do you think it's so hard for us to step into what we
95:26 it's so hard for us to step into what we really believe we want? Cuz when I hear
95:28 really believe we want? Cuz when I hear you say that, that's what it hits me as.
95:30 you say that, that's what it hits me as. It's like, I've been saying that though.
95:32 It's like, I've been saying that though. I say it in my song. I say when Allah
95:33 I say it in my song. I say when Allah said, "My new wife, we pray together and
95:35 said, "My new wife, we pray together and I'mma keep it sacred." I say that in the
95:38 I'mma keep it sacred." I say that in the song. So, I manifested this. I didn't
95:40 song. So, I manifested this. I didn't know it were going to be her. But as
95:42 know it were going to be her. But as men, why do you think it's so hard for a
95:44 men, why do you think it's so hard for a lot of men to just
95:46 lot of men to just Yeah. It's like, man, I'm just so tired
95:48 Yeah. It's like, man, I'm just so tired of everything that's not mean something.
95:51 of everything that's not mean something. Cuz it don't get you don't get
95:52 Cuz it don't get you don't get fulfillment. I didn't had more hoes than
95:54 fulfillment. I didn't had more hoes than clothes. I never got no fulfillment from
95:57 clothes. I never got no fulfillment from having a bunch of different women. That
95:58 having a bunch of different women. That [ __ ] is stressful. It's vexating to my
96:01 [ __ ] is stressful. It's vexating to my spirit. It don't give me no fulfillment.
96:03 spirit. It don't give me no fulfillment. A lot of men ain't going to say that.
96:05 A lot of men ain't going to say that. And then I've been on a semen retention
96:07 And then I've been on a semen retention journey for the last what maybe five
96:09 journey for the last what maybe five years. I talked about like retaining the
96:11 years. I talked about like retaining the life force, retaining the semen, not
96:13 life force, retaining the semen, not watching porn, not jacking off, taking
96:16 watching porn, not jacking off, taking that sexual energy and transmuting it
96:18 that sexual energy and transmuting it into something else. So if I have a
96:20 into something else. So if I have a craving to go jack off or I'm horny or
96:24 craving to go jack off or I'm horny or whatever you want to call it, I go to
96:25 whatever you want to call it, I go to the gym or I go to the studio. I
96:28 the gym or I go to the studio. I transmute that energy into something
96:29 transmute that energy into something else. And you realize and most people
96:32 else. And you realize and most people just out here jacking off, man. You
96:34 just out here jacking off, man. You realize though when you see dudes with a
96:36 realize though when you see dudes with a lot of women but them dudes be stressed
96:37 lot of women but them dudes be stressed out like you know what I'm saying as a
96:40 out like you know what I'm saying as a man you going to see [ __ ] that you going
96:41 man you going to see [ __ ] that you going you going to look but at the same time
96:44 you going to look but at the same time you ain't going to help me on my mission
96:46 you ain't going to help me on my mission you going to take away you ain't going
96:48 you going to take away you ain't going to add value to me you going to take
96:50 to add value to me you going to take from me you know behind closed doors do
96:53 from me you know behind closed doors do you speak life into me do you help me
96:55 you speak life into me do you help me become greater are you helping me become
96:57 become greater are you helping me become greater like it don't really be that if
97:01 greater like it don't really be that if you are helping me become greater are
97:03 you are helping me become greater are you helping me become become greater for
97:04 you helping me become become greater for me or are you helping me become greater
97:06 me or are you helping me become greater for you?
97:08 for you? Or are you manipulating me? Are you
97:09 Or are you manipulating me? Are you verbally abusive to me behind closed
97:11 verbally abusive to me behind closed doors? You know what I'm saying? Like,
97:13 doors? You know what I'm saying? Like, are you using the my flaws against me?
97:16 are you using the my flaws against me? You know, it's a lot of women that'll do
97:17 You know, it's a lot of women that'll do that, too. And no, excuse me. I can't
97:19 that, too. And no, excuse me. I can't say women. It's a lot of people that'll
97:21 say women. It's a lot of people that'll do that. Cuz I didn't had men do that,
97:23 do that. Cuz I didn't had men do that, too. like bring up stuff from the past
97:26 too. like bring up stuff from the past and try to hold it against me to keep
97:28 and try to hold it against me to keep you within whatever kind of energetic
97:31 you within whatever kind of energetic construct that they have for you because
97:33 construct that they have for you because they need your energy. They're
97:36 they need your energy. They're everybody's life is great but we suffer.
97:38 everybody's life is great but we suffer. So that's why I'm at with it right now.
97:41 So that's why I'm at with it right now. Like yeah, that seems to be something
97:43 Like yeah, that seems to be something that's kind of vexing our our our
97:45 that's kind of vexing our our our community. I wasn't even going to talk
97:46 community. I wasn't even going to talk about this, but [ __ ] you the one you
97:49 about this, but [ __ ] you the one you got it off me. Oh, I wasn't even trying
97:51 got it off me. Oh, I wasn't even trying to get anything. I'm just trying to
97:52 to get anything. I'm just trying to survive. I already know. It's like this
97:53 survive. I already know. It's like this going to be healing for somebody. Oh,
97:55 going to be healing for somebody. Oh, it's healing for me. That's why I'm
97:56 it's healing for me. That's why I'm curious about it. It's like cuz I'm sick
97:58 curious about it. It's like cuz I'm sick of like, you know, in my own life, but
98:00 of like, you know, in my own life, but also I'm the one keeping me there.
98:02 also I'm the one keeping me there. That's the crazy thing. It's like I have
98:04 That's the crazy thing. It's like I have the ability to change things and I do a
98:05 the ability to change things and I do a good job. I say in my song, I'm only
98:08 good job. I say in my song, I'm only excited about spiritual things. And I
98:09 excited about spiritual things. And I swear I can't wait to move on.
98:13 swear I can't wait to move on. I'm only excited about spiritual things.
98:15 I'm only excited about spiritual things. Yeah. I think I'm just amazed sometimes
98:17 Yeah. I think I'm just amazed sometimes that uh
98:19 that uh I don't know, but I'm also, you know, I
98:21 I don't know, but I'm also, you know, I got a late start sometimes, man. I got a
98:23 got a late start sometimes, man. I got a late start. I'm 39.
98:25 late start. I'm 39. I just look, you know what I'm saying?
98:27 I just look, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Don't age. I'm 39, though. So,
98:30 Oh, yeah. Don't age. I'm 39, though. So, I feel like it's never too late. Yeah.
98:33 I feel like it's never too late. Yeah. It's never too late. But when you said
98:36 It's never too late. But when you said that about all the women, that [ __ ] was
98:38 that about all the women, that [ __ ] was draining.
98:40 draining. Yeah. Well, just I I have so many of my
98:42 Yeah. Well, just I I have so many of my friends like, I'm going on this date, I
98:44 friends like, I'm going on this date, I don't care. just like well what are we
98:45 don't care. just like well what are we doing and then you have people it's like
98:47 doing and then you have people it's like you're giving yourself away to people
98:48 you're giving yourself away to people and I'm not accusing anybody else I'm
98:50 and I'm not accusing anybody else I'm telling you anything about myself in my
98:51 telling you anything about myself in my own life and then it's just tell me
98:53 own life and then it's just tell me about it
98:54 about it tell me about it and it's like what kind
98:56 tell me about it and it's like what kind of journey am I making what am I really
98:57 of journey am I making what am I really build building here and then another
98:59 build building here and then another word once I start operating and looking
99:01 word once I start operating and looking for reciprocation
99:03 for reciprocation it shouldn't cost anything
99:06 it shouldn't cost anything if I [ __ ] with you it shouldn't cost
99:08 if I [ __ ] with you it shouldn't cost anything if you [ __ ] with me it
99:11 anything if you [ __ ] with me it shouldn't cost us anything should be
99:13 shouldn't cost us anything should be reciprocated
99:14 reciprocated The energy that I'm giving you should be
99:16 The energy that I'm giving you should be reciprocated. If it's not reciprocated,
99:18 reciprocated. If it's not reciprocated, then you not nobody that I even need to
99:20 then you not nobody that I even need to know. And a lot of times
99:23 know. And a lot of times when you look at relationships,
99:26 when you look at relationships, I could be somebody best friend, but
99:27 I could be somebody best friend, but they not my best friend. It's not the
99:30 they not my best friend. It's not the energy not being reciprocated.
99:32 energy not being reciprocated. And a lot of people are victims of that.
99:35 And a lot of people are victims of that. Being in relationships that are
99:37 Being in relationships that are one-sided, the door don't really swing
99:39 one-sided, the door don't really swing both ways. It may look like it swing
99:41 both ways. It may look like it swing both ways, but it don't.
99:44 both ways, but it don't. Yeah. It's just a trap, too. I mean, a
99:46 Yeah. It's just a trap, too. I mean, a lot of the date, like the sex, the
99:48 lot of the date, like the sex, the dating, just the pornography, cuz that's
99:50 dating, just the pornography, cuz that's been something I've dealt with. You
99:51 been something I've dealt with. You know, when you stop watching porn, it's
99:53 know, when you stop watching porn, it's going to change everything. Yeah. It's
99:55 going to change everything. Yeah. It's going to change the way you have sex.
99:57 going to change the way you have sex. Once you realize these people acting,
99:59 Once you realize these people acting, this is fake. This is not real. This is
100:01 this is fake. This is not real. This is not a connection. This is [ __ ]
100:04 not a connection. This is [ __ ] No disrespect to people that do porn.
100:06 No disrespect to people that do porn. They just But they know it. They know
100:07 They just But they know it. They know it's fake, you know? They know. That's
100:09 it's fake, you know? They know. That's just not my cup of tea. That just ain't
100:11 just not my cup of tea. That just ain't no like how a man told me he was like,
100:15 no like how a man told me he was like, "You jacking off to another man's
100:17 "You jacking off to another man's success." Like I ain't [ __ ] that
100:19 success." Like I ain't [ __ ] that [ __ ] Dang, that's crazy. God. Oh my
100:21 [ __ ] Dang, that's crazy. God. Oh my god. I'm jacking off to watching another
100:24 god. I'm jacking off to watching another man's success. I'm not doing this. That
100:26 man's success. I'm not doing this. That is kind of crazy, huh? If you think
100:29 is kind of crazy, huh? If you think about it, it's psychotic in nature.
100:32 about it, it's psychotic in nature. And then you got to hide and sneak to do
100:34 And then you got to hide and sneak to do it. Oh, they got some people probably
100:36 it. Oh, they got some people probably just go do it publicly, but I ain't
100:38 just go do it publicly, but I ain't doing that. You got to sneak and do it.
100:40 doing that. You got to sneak and do it. Yeah. And then under the guise of I'm
100:42 Yeah. And then under the guise of I'm having me time. But then after you do
100:44 having me time. But then after you do it, you feel guilty, feel horrible, like
100:47 it, you feel guilty, feel horrible, like damn, why I did that? Cuz that was
100:49 damn, why I did that? Cuz that was precious life force. I just wasted on
100:51 precious life force. I just wasted on somebody else success.
100:53 somebody else success. God dang it. TR Listen, I've been there.
100:57 God dang it. TR Listen, I've been there. I've been there. I know about it. So
100:59 I've been there. I know about it. So I've been there. And what was the thing
101:00 I've been there. And what was the thing that got you out of that? Like how you
101:02 that got you out of that? Like how you able to stop that specifically? Even I
101:04 able to stop that specifically? Even I took baby steps. I was like, I'm only
101:05 took baby steps. I was like, I'm only going to release on Fridays. Okay. And I
101:09 going to release on Fridays. Okay. And I startoom, huh? And I started saying,
101:11 startoom, huh? And I started saying, well, maybe this is my creative energy.
101:15 well, maybe this is my creative energy. I'm this when when you when you release
101:17 I'm this when when you when you release your life force, that's your creative
101:18 your life force, that's your creative energy. So, I'm not going to release my
101:20 energy. So, I'm not going to release my creative energy. Like, when you boxing,
101:23 creative energy. Like, when you boxing, or you preparing for a fight, when I'm
101:25 or you preparing for a fight, when I'm working on this album, I ain't going to
101:26 working on this album, I ain't going to release no semen or why I'm doing this,
101:28 release no semen or why I'm doing this, I ain't going to release. And it just I
101:30 I ain't going to release. And it just I became better and better and better. But
101:32 became better and better and better. But it was baby steps. I ain't just start
101:34 it was baby steps. I ain't just start off just saying cold turkey. Yeah. But
101:36 off just saying cold turkey. Yeah. But by the time it was like, man, it seeming
101:39 by the time it was like, man, it seeming as babies in it, which is crazy. If I
101:41 as babies in it, which is crazy. If I get and you taking baby steps. Yeah. If
101:42 get and you taking baby steps. Yeah. If I ain't getting no [ __ ] that's raw.
101:45 I ain't getting no [ __ ] that's raw. If I ain't get no [ __ ] [ __ ] ain't no
101:48 If I ain't get no [ __ ] [ __ ] ain't no [ __ ] Yeah. What am I doing? I can wait.
101:50 [ __ ] Yeah. What am I doing? I can wait. Yeah, I can wait. That's the thing. It's
101:52 Yeah, I can wait. That's the thing. It's just that relationship with yourself,
101:53 just that relationship with yourself, you know, and having like having
101:55 you know, and having like having conversation with yourself like what am
101:56 conversation with yourself like what am I doing? What do I what would I really
101:58 I doing? What do I what would I really like to do? And then how do I get
101:59 like to do? And then how do I get through? You respect yourself different.
102:01 through? You respect yourself different. Yeah. Your integrity changes a lot. I
102:03 Yeah. Your integrity changes a lot. I respect myself different now that I
102:04 respect myself different now that I don't play around like that. Yeah. I
102:06 don't play around like that. Yeah. I respect myself different now. And when
102:08 respect myself different now. And when you show up, people can Here's the funny
102:10 you show up, people can Here's the funny thing. People can see the the integrity
102:13 thing. People can see the the integrity you have for yourself. You know what
102:14 you have for yourself. You know what people tell me? They say, "Your aura is
102:17 people tell me? They say, "Your aura is big." I'm like, "I don't know why." And
102:21 big." I'm like, "I don't know why." And they were like, "What kind of practices
102:22 they were like, "What kind of practices do you do?" I said, "I practice semen
102:24 do you do?" I said, "I practice semen retention." Yeah. It's my precious life
102:26 retention." Yeah. It's my precious life force. And they was like, "That's what
102:29 force. And they was like, "That's what it is. You have a glow." That's back.
102:32 it is. You have a glow." That's back. Yeah. What's that semen? Damn. It's your
102:35 Yeah. What's that semen? Damn. It's your life force. Like Oh, yeah. It's
102:37 life force. Like Oh, yeah. It's everything you are. It's your truth.
102:38 everything you are. It's your truth. It's your script. Yeah. It's your I mean
102:41 It's your script. Yeah. It's your I mean that is that is and it's not even your
102:42 that is that is and it's not even your script. There's a script of all your
102:44 script. There's a script of all your ancestors just wasting it in a sock and
102:46 ancestors just wasting it in a sock and you bl Yeah, you blasting it out here in
102:48 you bl Yeah, you blasting it out here in a dang church sock too at times. God. Oh
102:51 a dang church sock too at times. God. Oh my god. I forgive myself.
102:54 my god. I forgive myself. Yeah, you're right, man. Cuz sometimes
102:55 Yeah, you're right, man. Cuz sometimes I'll have that shame feeling all the
102:57 I'll have that shame feeling all the misfires. I I forgive myself. Yeah, we
103:00 misfires. I I forgive myself. Yeah, we learn from our mistakes. We move on.
103:03 learn from our mistakes. We move on. Um, but somebody needed to hear this.
103:06 Um, but somebody needed to hear this. No, I think somebody did today. And I
103:07 No, I think somebody did today. And I think you know what I think it's like we
103:09 think you know what I think it's like we need more leaders in the community to
103:11 need more leaders in the community to say things like that. Lead. We have to
103:13 say things like that. Lead. We have to get I don't know. We got to do something
103:15 get I don't know. We got to do something has to start to be different. I feel
103:17 has to start to be different. I feel like the greatest teachers teach without
103:19 like the greatest teachers teach without teaching. Yeah, you're right. The
103:21 teaching. Yeah, you're right. The greatest teachers teach without
103:23 greatest teachers teach without teaching. So when the student is ready
103:24 teaching. So when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear.
103:26 to learn, the teacher will appear. You'll be amazed where wisdom could come
103:28 You'll be amazed where wisdom could come from.
103:29 from. Yeah, even the homeless person standing
103:31 Yeah, even the homeless person standing on the street corner, it smell bad. The
103:34 on the street corner, it smell bad. The person that you would be afraid to the
103:36 person that you would be afraid to the person that you would look down upon,
103:38 person that you would look down upon, one of those people, the wisdom and the
103:40 one of those people, the wisdom and the knowledge that they can imputee, you
103:42 knowledge that they can imputee, you would be amazed.
103:47 Oh yeah, they got bars over there. Hey, I don't care what you do with the money.
103:48 I don't care what you do with the money. Just here I I committed an act of
103:51 Just here I I committed an act of giving. He's just going to buy drugs
103:52 giving. He's just going to buy drugs with it. Hey, I committed an act of
103:54 with it. Hey, I committed an act of giving. Whatever he do, that's his
103:55 giving. Whatever he do, that's his choice. Now, one lady made me mad though
103:57 choice. Now, one lady made me mad though cuz she was holding a sign talking about
104:00 cuz she was holding a sign talking about she'll work for food. And I gave her a
104:01 she'll work for food. And I gave her a sandwich and she put it in her book set.
104:04 sandwich and she put it in her book set. And then I said, "You know what? Maybe
104:06 And then I said, "You know what? Maybe she had children to go feed." But I
104:11 she had children to go feed." But I don't know like Yeah. She what she
104:13 don't know like Yeah. She what she thinks you going to sell it or
104:14 thinks you going to sell it or something? Maybe you had children to go
104:15 something? Maybe you had children to go feed or something. So I was like I did
104:18 feed or something. So I was like I did overreact cuz I got pissed off. Kevin,
104:20 overreact cuz I got pissed off. Kevin, not everybody eats immediately when you
104:21 not everybody eats immediately when you serve them. I mean, you know, maybe she
104:23 serve them. I mean, you know, maybe she was saving it for later. I don't know.
104:25 was saving it for later. I don't know. So maybe she got baby birds in a nest or
104:27 So maybe she got baby birds in a nest or something. I don't know. Maybe she got
104:28 something. I don't know. Maybe she got saving it for her kids or something. And
104:30 saving it for her kids or something. And I just said, "You know what? I ain't
104:31 I just said, "You know what? I ain't tripping. Whatever you do with it is on
104:33 tripping. Whatever you do with it is on you. I committed an act of giving."
104:35 you. I committed an act of giving." Probably. So, Kevin. I bet. Yeah. I
104:37 Probably. So, Kevin. I bet. Yeah. I think she probably doing something nice.
104:39 think she probably doing something nice. Hopefully. I hope so. Yeah. I bet she
104:42 Hopefully. I hope so. Yeah. I bet she was. I hope you ain't take advantage of
104:43 was. I hope you ain't take advantage of me. But if you did, that's if you did,
104:45 me. But if you did, that's if you did, that's your caric bag. Right. I did. I
104:47 that's your caric bag. Right. I did. I did the right thing. Right. I did what I
104:49 did the right thing. Right. I did what I did. Yeah. Kind of like, man, I think
104:51 did. Yeah. Kind of like, man, I think one interesting thing is like Yeah.
104:54 one interesting thing is like Yeah. Yeah, we just we need we got to have
104:55 Yeah, we just we need we got to have leaders making things cool, you know. I
104:59 leaders making things cool, you know. I think it's why it's one to me and this
105:01 think it's why it's one to me and this might be
105:03 might be I guess I'm afraid to say this probably
105:05 I guess I'm afraid to say this probably cuz it's probably ready, set go. I think
105:08 cuz it's probably ready, set go. I think it's cool that to have a black man say
105:10 it's cool that to have a black man say something about that because black
105:12 something about that because black people notoriously I feel like make
105:13 people notoriously I feel like make things cool, right? Like people go to
105:15 things cool, right? Like people go to the black community to make something
105:17 the black community to make something cool. Like you give a you give a metal
105:19 cool. Like you give a you give a metal plate in a to somebody in a black
105:21 plate in a to somebody in a black community, the next thing they got a rim
105:22 community, the next thing they got a rim out of it. You know what I'm saying? and
105:23 out of it. You know what I'm saying? and make things cool. So, I think to hear a
105:25 make things cool. So, I think to hear a a black creativity thrives in the
105:27 a black creativity thrives in the darkness. Okay. Per well said. You
105:30 darkness. Okay. Per well said. You didn't say anything wrong. Okay. So, I
105:33 didn't say anything wrong. Okay. So, I think to hear a black guy say that to
105:34 think to hear a black guy say that to act certain ways. Yeah. I think that
105:37 act certain ways. Yeah. I think that makes it cool because we all take I feel
105:40 makes it cool because we all take I feel like a lot of culture comes from what's
105:42 like a lot of culture comes from what's cool comes from the black community.
105:45 cool comes from the black community. Creativity thrives in the darkness. So,
105:47 Creativity thrives in the darkness. So, I just So, you're not saying nothing
105:48 I just So, you're not saying nothing wrong. Okay. Yeah. I think it's Yeah.
105:52 wrong. Okay. Yeah. I think it's Yeah. makes it cool, you know, and we need we
105:54 makes it cool, you know, and we need we need things that like I think have moral
105:56 need things that like I think have moral value and integrity to be cool. Like
105:58 value and integrity to be cool. Like like I watch anime because they have
106:01 like I watch anime because they have more moralistic value than regular
106:04 more moralistic value than regular movies. Yeah. So I watch a lot of anime.
106:08 movies. Yeah. So I watch a lot of anime. I don't watch a lot of it. Israel
106:09 I don't watch a lot of it. Israel Adosana watches a lot of it. You know
106:11 Adosana watches a lot of it. You know who he is? UFC fighter. The Last Style
106:14 who he is? UFC fighter. The Last Style Bender. Yeah. He's incredible, dude. The
106:16 Bender. Yeah. He's incredible, dude. The Last Style Bender. Yeah. You and him was
106:18 Last Style Bender. Yeah. You and him was you and him would be such a neat I mean
106:20 you and him would be such a neat I mean you guys are I mean both humans so
106:23 you guys are I mean both humans so whatever I don't want to talk about um
106:26 whatever I don't want to talk about um I'm trying to think of anything else we
106:27 I'm trying to think of anything else we want to talk about. You have a new tour
106:28 want to talk about. You have a new tour coming up. Yeah I had a new tour coming
106:30 coming up. Yeah I had a new tour coming up. I got coffee. You had a new album
106:32 up. I got coffee. You had a new album that came out on my birthday. I think
106:34 that came out on my birthday. I think March 19th or something you had one come
106:36 March 19th or something you had one come out. I'm here. No I'm him too. I'm him
106:38 out. I'm here. No I'm him too. I'm him too. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Is there
106:40 too. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Is there anything else that you wanted to talk
106:41 anything else that you wanted to talk about today? If um if anybody watched
106:45 about today? If um if anybody watched this and they gained any insight, uh I'm
106:50 this and they gained any insight, uh I'm grateful for that. If you didn't gain
106:52 grateful for that. If you didn't gain any insight, I could give a [ __ ] less.
107:00 Uh that's fair. That's it. That's all. Right. That's it. That's all. Whenever I
107:02 Right. That's it. That's all. Whenever I drop a album, I'm like, "Get it if you
107:04 drop a album, I'm like, "Get it if you want to get it. If you don't, don't get
107:06 want to get it. If you don't, don't get it." Like, I'm not here to force you. If
107:08 it." Like, I'm not here to force you. If you want to get it, if you don't want to
107:10 you want to get it, if you don't want to get it, don't get it. is already gonna
107:12 get it, don't get it. is already gonna do what it's gonna do. Yeah. I didn't do
107:15 do what it's gonna do. Yeah. I didn't do I can say this this album that I put out
107:18 I can say this this album that I put out this last one I was proud of it. Usually
107:22 this last one I was proud of it. Usually I'm upset when a project come out. I'm
107:25 I'm upset when a project come out. I'm like I wasn't happy at this and this and
107:28 like I wasn't happy at this and this and that. Whenever a release, but this time
107:30 that. Whenever a release, but this time I was like I celebrated myself the whole
107:33 I was like I celebrated myself the whole way through and I was like man I love
107:35 way through and I was like man I love this project. Like my other projects, I
107:38 this project. Like my other projects, I go back and appreciate them after the
107:40 go back and appreciate them after the next one come out. But now this one, I'm
107:41 next one come out. But now this one, I'm like, nah, I [ __ ] with this one all the
107:43 like, nah, I [ __ ] with this one all the way through. Why do you think that was?
107:45 way through. Why do you think that was? Cuz I'm in a different space.
107:48 Cuz I'm in a different space. Like, I don't make depression music
107:50 Like, I don't make depression music anymore. And then if I do make
107:52 anymore. And then if I do make depression music, I'm just venting. It's
107:55 depression music, I'm just venting. It's my therapeutic release. I got it all
107:58 my therapeutic release. I got it all out. I know there's somebody out there
107:59 out. I know there's somebody out there that could relate to what I'm going
108:00 that could relate to what I'm going through, but this is how we combat that.
108:03 through, but this is how we combat that. That's onward and upward. That's it.
108:05 That's onward and upward. That's it. That's all. I don't stay stuck in a
108:07 That's all. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. No. Yeah. I don't stay
108:09 sunken place. No. Yeah. I don't stay stuck in a I don't stay stuck. I don't
108:13 stuck in a I don't stay stuck. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. I don't
108:15 stay stuck in a sunken place. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. Amen.
108:17 stay stuck in a sunken place. Amen. I'mma snap out of it quick. That's it.
108:19 I'mma snap out of it quick. That's it. Nothing changes if nothing changes. They
108:21 Nothing changes if nothing changes. They say nothing changes if nothing changes.
108:23 say nothing changes if nothing changes. Yes, sir. Kevin Gates, man, the proud of
108:26 Yes, sir. Kevin Gates, man, the proud of Louisiana. Uh thank you so much, man,
108:28 Louisiana. Uh thank you so much, man, for spending time with me today, man.
108:29 for spending time with me today, man. It's a blessing. I really appreciate it.
108:31 It's a blessing. I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me. And I just want
108:33 Thank you for having me. And I just want to tell you this sincerely. I mean it
108:34 to tell you this sincerely. I mean it sincerely. Hey, thank you for being you.
108:37 sincerely. Hey, thank you for being you. This was like the most different type of
108:40 This was like the most different type of interview, podcast, whatever you want to
108:42 interview, podcast, whatever you want to call it. It was just like
108:45 call it. It was just like we just talking [ __ ] But it was
108:47 we just talking [ __ ] But it was beautiful cuz not too many people could
108:50 beautiful cuz not too many people could see me
108:52 see me like really see me. Yeah. And I just
108:54 like really see me. Yeah. And I just appreciate you for that. Usually when I
108:56 appreciate you for that. Usually when I go places, I have to meet the person at
108:58 go places, I have to meet the person at the level of the person. I had to see
109:01 the level of the person. I had to see where they at and just But with this, it
109:03 where they at and just But with this, it was like the transparency was beautiful.
109:06 was like the transparency was beautiful. It was refreshing talking to you. Like I
109:08 It was refreshing talking to you. Like I lost track of time. If you ever watch
109:10 lost track of time. If you ever watch when I go other places, I have to meet
109:12 when I go other places, I have to meet the person at the level they at. And I
109:15 the person at the level they at. And I hate what I'm about to say, but it's the
109:16 hate what I'm about to say, but it's the truth. I look at my watch to keep time.
109:19 truth. I look at my watch to keep time. I didn't do that one time here cuz it
109:21 I didn't do that one time here cuz it was refreshing.
109:23 was refreshing. This is refreshing. Well, I appreciate
109:25 This is refreshing. Well, I appreciate you sharing yourself with the world,
109:26 you sharing yourself with the world, sharing what's going on in your head and
109:27 sharing what's going on in your head and your spirit with the world, man. It's
109:29 your spirit with the world, man. It's been some of the things you say make me
109:31 been some of the things you say make me think and I and I appreciate that
109:33 think and I and I appreciate that because I think uh me having a taking
109:36 because I think uh me having a taking time to think is is more important than
109:38 time to think is is more important than uh than I knew it needed to be for
109:40 uh than I knew it needed to be for myself.
109:42 myself. Yeah. So, thank you very much, Mr.
109:44 Yeah. So, thank you very much, Mr. Gates. Thank you for having me. Now, I'm
109:47 Gates. Thank you for having me. Now, I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel
109:50 just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be
109:54 I'm falling like these leaves. I must be corner stone.
109:57 corner stone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll
110:00 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can
110:03 share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my
110:07 feel it in my [Music]
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