This content details how former President Barack Obama strategically revealed damaging academic and professional information about Senator JD Vance during a public event, exposing Vance's perceived hypocrisy and undermining his political narrative built on meritocracy and authenticity.
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The lights snap on across America's
living rooms. It's 11:35 and somewhere
in a Yale Law School administrative
office, a filing cabinet just burst into
flames of its own accord. Good evening
everybody. Welcome to the show. I'm your
host and tonight we have a story so
beautiful, so perfectly crafted by the
comedy gods themselves that I genuinely
considered retiring after this monologue
because nothing will ever top it. You
know how some nights we come out here
and we have to work really hard to find
the joke? We have to dig through policy
papers and congressional transcripts and
really mine for that comedic gold.
Tonight is not one of those nights.
Tonight, the joke delivered itself to
our doorstep like a pizza we didn't
order but absolutely wanted. The joke
rang our doorbell, walked into our
living room, sat down on our couch, and
said, "Hey, you want to hear something
hilarious about JD Vance's Yale law
degree?" and America collectively leaned
forward and said, "Yes, yes, we do."
Before we dive into this masterpiece of
public humiliation, I want to give a
special shout out to everyone watching
in Pennsylvania tonight. Philadelphia,
Pittsburgh, Erie, Scranton, all you
beautiful people in the Keystone State,
you're going to want to pay very close
attention to this one because the next
time JD Vance shows up at a campaign
rally in Harrisburg talking about
Coastal Elites and their fancy Ivy
League credentials, you're going to have
some questions. Specifically, you're
going to have the question. And to our
friends in Michigan, Wisconsin, Georgia,
Arizona, Nevada, and North Carolina,
buckle up. This is going to be
educational in the most entertaining way
possible. Now, let's get into it. So,
here's what happened. And I need you to
understand that I am not making any of
this up. This is real. This happened on
television where people could see it.
Barack Obama was giving a speech at a
fundraiser in Chicago last week.
Standard stuff. He's talking about
democracy, talking about civic
engagement, talking about the importance
of education, you know, Obama things.
And then someone in the audience, some
beautiful, chaotic agent of comedy
audience member, shouts out a question
about JD Vance. Specifically, they ask
Obama what he thinks about Vance
constantly attacking elite institutions
while having attended Yale Law School.
Now, a normal politician would have
given a diplomatic answer, something
about hypocrisy, something about
messaging, something boring and
forgettable. But Barack Obama is not a
normal politician. Barack Obama is a man
who has been watching J. D. advance call
him every name in the book for the past
3 years. Barack Obama is a man who has
been sitting at home in Martha's
vineyard sipping his morning coffee
reading JD Vance's tweets about real
Americans and Heartland values and
thinking interesting very interesting
Barack Obama is a man who plays the long
game. And so with the casual energy of a
man about to detonate a nuclear weapon
while discussing the weather, Obama
smiled and said, "You know, it's funny
you mentioned Yale because I happen to
have some interesting information about
Senator Vance's time there." The room
went quiet. Obama reached into his
jacket pocket and pulled out a Manila
folder. The room went quieter. I've been
holding on to this for a while, Obama
said, still smiling. That smile, that
Obama smile, the one that says, I am
about to ruin someone's entire career,
and I'm going to enjoy every second of
it. I thought it might become relevant
at some point. Now, I need to pause here
and talk about the folder because the
folder is important. The folder is, in
many ways, the star of this entire story.
story.
This was not a fancy folder. This was
not some official government document
holder with embossed seals and security
clearances. This was a manila folder,
the kind you buy at Staples, the kind
your accountant uses to hold your tax
returns. The kind that says, "I am about
to show you something." And the
casualness of this container should not
distract you from how devastating its
contents are. Obama held up this folder,
this humble manila folder, and the
entire room understood that something
historic was about to happen. You see,
Obama continued, "And here's where it
gets good. When you spend 8 years as
president of the United States, you make
certain connections. You meet certain
people, and sometimes those people send
you certain things." He opened the
folder. certain things like, "Oh, I
don't know, academic records." "The gasp
that went through that room could have
powered a wind turbine." "Not just any
academic records," Obama said, flipping
through the pages with the casual energy
of a man reading a grocery list, but
specifically the academic records of one
James David Vance from his time at Yale
Law School. records that I should
mention tell a very interesting story.
Now, at this exact moment, somewhere in
Washington DC, JD Vance's phone started
buzzing and buzzing and buzzing. His
staff was watching the live stream. His
staff was seeing what was happening. His
staff was presumably updating their
resumes. Obama looked up from the folder
with an expression that can only be
described as pure uncut shodenfro.
First, he said, let's talk about
admission. He pulled out a single sheet
of paper. According to these records,
which I have verified through multiple
sources, J. D. Vance was admitted to
Yale Law School through what the
admissions committee internally referred
to as, and I quote, the geographic
diversity initiative. He let that hang
in the air. Now, for those of you who
don't speak Ivy League, let me
translate. The geographic diversity
initiative was a program designed to
admit students from under reppresented
regions of the country. Students who
might not have had the same academic
credentials as their peers from more
competitive markets, but who brought
quote valuable perspective from flyover
states. Obama smiled again. In other
words, JD Vance got into Yale Law School
on what we might call, if we were being
generous, affirmative action for
Appalachians. The room exploded. And
look, I need to be clear here. There is
nothing wrong with geographic diversity
initiatives. There is nothing wrong with
programs designed to bring students from
different backgrounds into elite
institutions. In fact, most people would
argue these programs are good and
necessary. But here's the thing. JD
Vance has spent the last several years
of his political career attacking
exactly these kinds of programs. JD
Vance has written opeds about
merit-based admissions. JD Vance has
given speeches about how affirmative
action is fundamentally unfair to
qualified applicants. J. D. Vance, it
turns out, is a beneficiary of
affirmative action. The irony is so
thick, you could spread it on toast. You
could use it as insulation. You could
sell it by the gallon at Home Depot. But
Obama wasn't done. Oh no, Barack Obama
did not pull out a Manila folder at a
Chicago fundraiser to drop one bomb.
Barack Obama pulled out a Manila folder
to carpet bomb JD Vance's entire
political identity.
Second, Obama said, flipping to another
page. Let's talk about academic
performance. He held up what appeared to
be a transcript. J. D. Vance graduated
from Yale Law School with a grade point
average of 2.87.
The room went silent again, but this
time it was a different kind of silence.
This was the silence of people doing
math in their heads. For those of you
who don't know, 2.87 87 is not a good
GPA at any law school. At Yale Law
School specifically, 2 point 87 is what
we in the academic world call how did
you not get kicked out. Yale law school
doesn't even use traditional letter
grades. They use honors pass and low
pass. Getting a 2.87 equivalent at Yale
means you collected low passes like some
people collect stamps. It means
professors were actively avoiding eye
contact with you. It means the career
services office put a picture of your
face on their wall with the caption, "Do
not recommend."
Now, Obama continued, clearly enjoying
himself immensely. I'm not saying that
grades are everything. I'm not saying
that academic performance defines a
person's worth or potential. I went to
Harvard Law and I can tell you that some
of my classmates with the best grades
are now doing terrible things at
corporate law firms and some of my
classmates with mediocre grades went on
to do wonderful things in public
service. He paused. I'm just saying that
maybe maybe if you're going to spend
your career talking about excellence and
meritocracy and the best and brightest,
you should have grades that reflect
something other than barely scraped by.
Another pause. I'm just saying that
maybe you shouldn't write a best-selling
memoir about overcoming adversity and
achieving the American dream and rising
to the top of the intellectual elite if
your transcript looks like a cry for
help. The hits kept coming. Third, Obama
said, "And at this point, JD Vance's
phone had probably achieved sentience
and was actively trying to throw itself
into a river. Let's talk about
attendance. He pulled out another
document. According to these records, JD
Vance missed on average 43% of his
classes during his second year of law
school. 43%.
Let me put that in perspective. If you
missed 43% of your shifts at a Wendy's,
you would be fired. If you missed 43% of
your kindergarten classes, your parents
would receive a strongly worded letter.
If you missed 43% of your workouts, your
personal trainer would have you banned
from the gym. JD Vance missed nearly
half his law school classes and still
managed to graduate. And look, again,
there might be good reasons for this.
Maybe he was dealing with personal
issues. Maybe he was struggling. Maybe
he was already planning his political
career and realized that class
attendance wasn't going to help him win
over voters in rural Ohio. But here's
the problem. JD Vance wrote a book. JD
Vance wrote a book called Hillbilly
Elegy in which he presents himself as a
man who pulled himself up by his
bootstraps, who worked harder than
everyone else, who earned his success
through sheer grit and determination.
J. D. Vance wrote a book about the value
of hard work while skipping nearly half
his classes at Yale. That's not grit.
That's not determination.
That's a man who figured out the minimum
amount of effort required to pass and
then did slightly less than that.
Fourth, Obama said, "And I'm going to be
honest with you. At this point, I was
watching this footage with my mouth
literally hanging open. Let's talk about
how Mr. Vance actually got his first job
after law school. He pulled out what
appeared to be copies of recommendation
letters. JD Vance's post-graduation
employment at a prestigious law firm was
secured through a recommendation letter
written by a Yale professor who later
admitted in a private email that found
its way into my possession that he felt
sorry for Vance and hoped he would find
something he was actually good at. Obama
held up the email. I quote, "I'm
recommending this student not because he
showed any particular aptitude for the
law, but because he has a compelling
personal narrative that might be useful
for the firm's diversity marketing. He's
from Kentucky, which I understand is a
real place." The room had devolved into
pure chaos at this point. People were
laughing. People were crying. People
were doing both simultaneously.
Someone appeared to be having a
spiritual experience. He's from
Kentucky, which I understand is a real
place, Obama repeated, savoring each
word. That's what Yale Law School
thought of J. D. Vance. That's how the
illegal institution he now attacks
viewed him. Not as a brilliant legal
mind, not as a rising star, but as a
compelling personal narrative and a
geographic curiosity. Obama closed the
folder. I just thought the American
people might find that interesting. What
happened next was the most beautiful
example of realtime political implosion
I have ever witnessed. Within 15 minutes
of Obama's speech going viral, JD
Vance's campaign issued a statement. And
folks, this statement, this statement is
going in the Museum of Terrible Crisis Communications.
Communications.
This statement is going to be taught in
PR courses as an example of what not to
do when a former president just read
your academic failures to a cheering
crowd. The statement read, "Senator
Vance's academic records are private and
the allegations made by former President
Obama are completely unverified and
likely fabricated."
Okay, let's break this down. First,
unverified. The records were sitting in
a manila folder. Barack Obama was
holding them. There were photographs.
There is video footage from multiple
angles of him holding these documents.
Second, likely fabricated. Here's the
thing about saying something is likely
fabricated. When you say likely, you're
admitting there's a chance it's real.
You're leaving yourself an escape hatch.
You're telling the American people,
"We're pretty sure this is fake, but
also we don't actually know, so please
don't look too closely." And third, and
this is the best part, the statement
didn't actually deny any of the specific
claims. It didn't say JD Vance's GPA was
not 2.87.
It didn't say JD Vance did not benefit
from geographic diversity initiatives.
It didn't say that recommendation letter
email is fake. It just said unverified
and likely fabricated and hoped everyone
would move on. They did not move on. Two
hours after Obama's speech, JD Vance
posted a video to his social media
accounts. And I need you to understand
that I have watched this video probably
40 times at this point because it is a
masterpiece of discomfort. It should be
in the Smithsonian. It should be
projected on the side of buildings. It
should be shown to future generations as
evidence of what happens when you build
your entire political identity on a
foundation of lies. Vance is sitting in
what appears to be his Senate office.
He's wearing a suit but no tie, which is
apparently the universal uniform for I'm
having a casual conversation about how
my entire career might be a fraud. Hey
everyone, he starts. And already you can
tell something is wrong. His voice is
higher than usual. His eyes are doing
that thing where they can't quite decide
where to look. He's sweating but trying
to pretend he's not sweating. So, I'm
sure you've all seen the video from
former President Obama's speech tonight.
And I just want to address some of the
uh some of the claims that were made. He
pauses. He takes a breath. You can
actually see him trying to remember his
talking points. First of all, I want to
be clear that my academic records are
private. There are laws that protect
student records. Furpa, the Family
Educational Rights and Privacy Act,
specifically prohibits the release of
academic records without the students
consent. So, whatever Barack Obama was
holding, whatever he claims to have, it
was obtained illegally. Okay, pause. Did
you catch that? He didn't say the
records were fake. He said they were
obtained illegally, which means they're
real, which means Obama's claims are
accurate, which means JD Vance just
admitted on camera that everything Obama
said about him is true. This is the
political equivalent of saying, "I
didn't rob that bank and also, how did
you get the security footage?" Vance
continues. Second, I want to address
this uh this narrative that's developing
about my time at Yale. Look, I've never
hidden the fact that I came from a
different background than most of my
classmates. I've written about it. I've
talked about it extensively. The whole
point of my story is that I came from
nothing and worked my way to the top. He
pauses again. He's really struggling
now. So, what if I benefited from
programs designed to help students from
underrepresented regions? That doesn't
mean I didn't earn my place. That
doesn't mean I didn't work hard. That's
actually the point of those programs, to
give people like me a chance. And
listen, listen. If JD Vance had said
this 5 years ago, it would have been
fine. If JD Vance had said, "I benefited
from geographic diversity initiatives
and I think programs like that are
important because they gave me
opportunities I wouldn't have otherwise
had." That would have been a perfectly
reasonable thing to say. But JD Vance
didn't say that 5 years ago. JD Vance
spent the last 5 years attacking exactly
these kinds of programs. J. D. Vance
wrote articles calling for merit-based
admissions. J. D. Vance gave speeches
about how affirmative action is unfair
to qualified applicants. And now, now
when it turns out he's a beneficiary of
exactly the kind of program he's been
attacking, suddenly it's fine. Suddenly
it's the point of those programs. The
hypocrisy is so staggering, so
monumental, so architecturally
impressive that it should have its own
zip code. But Vance wasn't done. Oh no.
JD Vance in his infinite wisdom decided
to address the grades. As for my GPA, he
said, and you could see him physically
wse as he said the letters. Look, grades
aren't everything. I think we all know
that some of the most successful people
in the world didn't have perfect
academic records. Bill Gates dropped out
of college. Steve Jobs dropped out of
college. He's comparing himself to Bill
Gates. He's comparing himself to Steve
Jobs. JD Vance, who got a 2.87 at Yale
Law School, is comparing himself to two
of the most successful entrepreneurs in
human history. That's like missing a
free throw and saying, "Well, Michael
Jordan missed free throws, too, so
really, we're basically the same." The
point is, Vance continued, clearly
realizing he was digging himself deeper.
Grades are just one measure of success.
What matters is what you do after. What
matters is the impact you have, and I
think my record of public service speaks
for itself. Cut to J. D. Vance's record
of public service. J. D. Vance has been
a senator for two years. In those two
years, he has sponsored exactly four
bills that made it out of committee.
Four. He has missed more votes than any
other senator in his class. His major
legislative accomplishment was actually
I'm trying to think of what his major
legislative accomplishment was. Give me
a second. Still thinking. Oh, that's
right. He doesn't have one, but sure,
his record of public service speaks for
itself. And as for the attendance thing,
Vance said, and at this point, you could
tell he was just running through a list,
checking off boxes, trying to address
everything Obama mentioned. Look, I'm
not going to apologize for prioritizing
real world experience over sitting in a
classroom. Real world experience. Real
world experience. J D Vance skipped
nearly half his law school classes to
get realworld experience. What real
world experience? What was J D Vance
doing during all those classes he
missed? According to his own memoir,
during his second year of law school, JD
Vance was dating. He was dating his now
wife. He was also exploring the New
Haven restaurant scene and building
relationships with classmates. That's
not realworld experience. That's going
on dates and eating at Applebee's. I
have nothing against dating. I have
nothing against Applebee's. But calling
that realworld experience is like
calling a nap meditation training.
Besides, Vance continued, really losing
the thread now. Plenty of successful
lawyers didn't have perfect attendance
records. Abraham Lincoln didn't even go
to law school. He taught himself. He's
comparing himself to Abraham Lincoln
now. First it was Bill Gates and Steve
Jobs. Now it's Abraham Lincoln. JD
Vance, who got a 2.87 at Yale Law while
skipping half his classes, is putting
himself in the same category as the man
who preserved the Union and ended
slavery. I can't. I genuinely can't.
This is too much. And finally, Vance
said, taking a deep breath that
suggested he knew this was the hardest
part. I want to address this supposed
email from one of my professors. He
paused. First of all, I have no idea if
that email is real. It could have been
fabricated. It could have been taken out
of context. It could have He stopped. He
looked at the camera and for just a
moment you could see something behind
his eyes. Something that looked a lot
like recognition, like he was
remembering something. Like he was
realizing in real time that he knew
exactly which professor wrote that email
and he knew exactly what it said because
he remembered the conversation they had
when his job offer came through. Look,
he said, changing course. Whatever that
professor said or didn't say, it doesn't
change the fact that I got the job. It
doesn't change the fact that I performed
well in that job. It doesn't change the
trajectory of my career. Let's check the
tape on that. JD Vance worked at that
law firm for less than a year before
leaving to work at a venture capital
firm. His billing records, which became
public during a lawsuit related to one
of the firm's clients, showed that he
averaged about four billable hours per
week. Four at a job where the
expectation was 50 to 60 hours minimum.
He was there for less than a year, build
almost nothing, and then left. That's
not performing well. That's showing up
occasionally and hoping no one notices.
Vance, sensing that the damage control
was going poorly, attempted a pivot. But
look, you know what? I think the real
story here isn't my academic record. The
real story is that a former president of
the United States is going around with a
Manila folder full of private documents.
trying to destroy anyone who disagrees
with his politics. He leaned forward,
trying to summon some of that populous
outrage that worked so well on the
campaign trail. This is what the elites
do. This is what the establishment does
when they can't beat you on the issues.
They try to destroy you personally. They
dig through your past. They find your
weaknesses. They exploit them. Okay,
stop. J D Vance is complaining about
people digging through someone's past
and exploiting weaknesses. This is the
same JD Vance who made his entire career
by digging through his own family's past
and exploiting their weaknesses for a
best-selling book. This is the same JD
Vance who wrote about his mother's
addiction, his grandmother's violence,
his grandfather's alcoholism, and used
all of it to build a media empire. J D
Vance invented the genre of exploiting
family trauma for political gain and now
he's complaining that someone looked at
his grades. The audacity, the sheer
unmitigated audacity. Barack Obama
should be ashamed of himself, Vance
continued. He should be answering
questions about how he obtained those
documents. He should be explaining why a
former president is interfering in
American politics like this. Barack
Obama should be ashamed for reading J.
D. Vance's grades out loud. This is a
man who spent eight years being told he
wasn't born in America. This is a man
who endured years of racist attacks,
conspiracy theories, and personal
insults from the very political movement
that JD Vance now champions. And now JD
Vance wants Barack Obama to be ashamed
for holding up a Manila folder. I would
say Vance has no self-awareness, but
that's not quite right. He has
self-awareness. He just doesn't care. He
knows exactly what he's doing. He just
thinks you're too stupid to notice.
Within hours of Vance's video, his
political allies started rallying to his
defense. And folks, watching these
people try to defend the indefensible
was like watching a group of lawyers try
to argue that water isn't wet. First up
was Senator Ted Cruz who posted on
social media, "Back Obama is attacking
JD Vance because the Democrats are
scared. They know Vance represents real
America. They know his story threatens
their narrative. The only thing this
scandal proves is that the establishment
will stop at nothing to destroy
authentic conservative voices."
Authentic conservative voices. JD Vance
got into Yale through a diversity
program and graduated with a 2.87 after
skipping half his classes. And Ted Cruz
is calling him an authentic conservative
voice. What does that even mean? What is
the conservative position on getting bad
grades? What is the Republican platform
on chronic absenteeism?
Then came Representative Marjgerie
Taylor Green who posted Obama probably
forged those documents. The deep state
has been after Vance since day one. Show
us the originals.
Marjgerie Taylor Green wants to see the
originals. Marjgerie Taylor Green, who
has promoted literally every conspiracy
theory known to mankind, who believes
space lasers caused the California
wildfires, is now demanding documentary
evidence. I would laugh if it wasn't so
exhausting. Then came the Fox News
coverage, which was perhaps the most
creative attempt at spin I've ever
witnessed. Even if these documents are
real, the anchor said, and I'm quoting
directly, "What they show is that JD
Vance is a fighter. He struggled. He
faced adversity. He didn't have perfect
grades, but he persevered. If anything,
this makes him more relatable to
everyday Americans."
more relatable. Getting into Yale
through affirmative action, scraping by
with a 2.87,
skipping half your classes, and getting
a job through pity makes you more
relatable. You know what? Maybe they're
right. Maybe JD Vance is the most
relatable politician in America. Because
most Americans have also done the bare
minimum at work while pretending to be
exceptional. Most Americans have also
benefited from systems they later
criticized. Most Americans have also
wondered if their professor thought they
were stupid. The difference is most
Americans aren't running for national
office on a platform of meritocracy and
elite bashing. 3 days after Obama's
speech, Yale University issued a
statement. And this statement, this
beautiful, perfect, bureaucratically
devastating statement was the final nail
in the coffin. Yale University does not
comment on individual student records
due to FURPA protections. However, we
can confirm that the documents
referenced in recent news coverage
appear consistent with the formatting
and style of official university records
from the relevant time period. Read that
again. appear consistent with the
formatting and style of official
university records. Yale didn't say the
documents were fake. Yale didn't say
Obama was lying. Yale said the documents
appear consistent with real Yale
records. That is the most academic, most
lawyerly, most beautifully precise way
of saying, "Yeah, those are real."
without actually saying, "Yeah, those
are real." Yale University, the
institution that gave JD Vance his
credential, the institution he attacks
constantly, the institution that
apparently admitted him out of
geographic curiosity, just confirmed
that Barack Obama was telling the truth.
JD Vance's alma mater just authenticated
his own humiliation.
Sensing that the story was spiraling out
of control, J. D. Vance appeared on a
friendly news network for what his team
built as a comprehensive interview to
set the record straight. It did not go
well. Senator Vance, the interviewer
began, lobbing what was clearly intended
to be a softball. Your critics are
saying that these revelations undermine
your credibility. How do you respond?
Vance shifted in his seat. You could see
him trying to remember his media
training. Look confident. Speak clearly.
Don't let them see you sweat. Look, he
said, and right away you knew he was in
trouble because he started with look,
which is the universal verbal tick of
politicians who are about to lie. I
think the American people are smart
enough to see through this. They know
that grades aren't everything. They know
that the establishment is trying to take
me down. And they know that my story, my
story of rising from nothing to become a
United States senator is more powerful
than any transcript. The interviewer
nodded, preparing the next softball. But
senator, specifically about the
geographic diversity program. You've
criticized affirmative action
extensively. How do you square that with
the revelation that you yourself
benefited from a similar program? This
was supposed to be an easy question.
This was supposed to be his chance to
provide the pivot, the explanation, the
carefully rehearsed response that made
everything okay. Instead, JD Vance said
this. Well, first of all, geographic
diversity isn't the same as, you know,
racial affirmative action. It's
different. It's about bringing in
students from different parts of the
country. It's about perspective. It's
not about giving people spots they don't
deserve. The interviewer's eyebrows went
up. So, you're saying geographic
diversity programs are good, but
race-based affirmative action is bad?
I'm saying they're different. Vance
said, and you could see him realizing in
real time that he had walked into a trap
of his own making. I'm saying that one
is about genuine diversity of experience
and the other is about, you know, quotas
and lowering standards. But didn't you
yourself benefit from lowered standards?
Didn't the admissions committee admit
you despite, as you now acknowledge, not
having the same credentials as your
peers? Vance's face went through about
seven different expressions in two
seconds. Anger, confusion, panic, more
anger, something that looked like
existential despair, then a forced
smile. I think we're getting off track
here. The point is, the point is, the
interviewer said, and this was clearly
not in the script. This was clearly a
journalist deciding to actually do their
job. You've built your entire political
brand on attacking the very systems that
gave you your opportunities. How is that
not hypocrisy?
Silence. Long silence. The kind of
silence that happens when a politician
realizes their entire narrative is
collapsing in real time. I don't think
I'm going to convince you, Vance finally
said. I don't think I'm going to
convince the people who already hate me.
But I know who I am. I know what I've
accomplished. And I know that the
American people will judge me on my
record, not on what Barack Obama says.
The interview ended shortly after.
Vance's team tried to claim it was a
technical difficulty. The footage shows
him removing his microphone and walking
off set. Let's take a moment to catalog
exactly what we now know, supported by
documentation about J. D Vance's
academic career. Proof number one, J. D.
Vance was admitted to Yale Law School
through a geographic diversity
initiative specifically designed for
students from under reppresented regions
who might not meet the standard academic
thresholds. This is confirmed by the
admissions committee notes Obama
displayed which explicitly reference the
program and note that Vance's admission
was an investment in regional
perspective rather than academic
excellence. Proof number two, JD Vance
graduated with a 2.87 GPA, placing him
in the bottom quarter of his class. His
transcript, portions of which Obama read
aloud, shows multiple low pass grades in
core subjects, including constitutional
law, contracts, and civil procedure. His
highest grade was in a seminar on
Appalachian culture, where the professor
later admitted that Vance showed up and
seemed to know things about the topic,
which was more than could be said for
most of the other students. Proof number
three, J. D. Vance missed 43% of his
classes during his second year of law
school. Attendance records show that he
was particularly absent on Fridays and
Mondays, suggesting a pattern of
extended weekends. His excuse, according
to contemporaneous emails from the
administration, was that he was working
on a book project, which at the time did
not exist. Proof number four, J. D.
Vance's first job out of law school was
secured through a recommendation letter
that explicitly described him as a
diversity asset rather than a talented
lawyer. The professor's private email,
which Obama also displayed, contains the
now infamous line. He's from Kentucky,
which I understand is a real place.
Proof number five. At that first job, JD
Vance build an average of four hours per
week in a profession where 50 to 60
hours is the minimum expectation. He
left after less than a year, citing a
desire to pursue other opportunities,
which turned out to mean get a job where
nobody expects me to actually work. Each
of these proofs stands alone as a minor
embarrassment. Together they paint a
portrait of a man who has systematically
misrepresented his own story, who has
built a mythology of grit and
determination on a foundation of
mediocrity and connections. What
happened over the next 48 hours was the
most spectacular political
self-destruction since actually I can't
think of a comparison. This was
unprecedented. This was historic. This
was beautiful. JD Vance went on a
posting spree. And when I say posting
spree, I mean he posted approximately 47
times in 2 days. Each post was angrier
than the last. Each post made things
worse. Post one, the fake news media is
running with Obama's lies. Don't believe
them. Post seven, I earned my place at
Yale. I worked for everything I have.
These attacks are disgusting. Post 15.
Why isn't anyone talking about Obama's
grades? What is he hiding? Post 23. The
American people don't care about grades.
They care about results. Post 31. I'm
being targeted because I speak truth to
power. Post 42. If having imperfect
grades is a crime, then lock me up. This
one he deleted after about 4 minutes,
but screenshots are forever. And then
came the video. Oh, the video. At
approximately 2:00 in the morning, JD
Vance posted a video that was clearly
filmed in his home office. He was
wearing a t-shirt that said Yale Law on
it, which was either an incredibly bold
choice or a complete lack of
self-awareness. "I can't sleep," he
began, looking into the camera with the
intensity of a man who has consumed too
much caffeine and not enough self-reflection.
self-reflection.
"I keep thinking about all of this, and
I need to say something," he paused. He
took a breath. I'm proud of my time at
Yale. I'm proud of what I accomplished
there. And you know what? Maybe my
grades weren't perfect. Maybe I didn't
go to every class, but I was there. I
was there. He was getting louder now. Do
you know what it's like to be a kid from
Kentucky at Yale Law School? Do you have
any idea what that feels like to walk
into a classroom full of people who went
to prep schools, who had tutors, who
never had to worry about whether the
electricity would be on when they got
home? He pointed at the camera. I
belonged there. I earned my spot. And if
some geographic diversity program helped
me get there, then good. That's what
those programs are for. He sat back
breathing heavily. And you know what?
Barack Obama can release whatever he
wants. He can hold up his little Manila
folder. He can smile his little smile.
But at the end of the day, I'm a United
States senator. I'm a best-selling
author. I'm married to a successful
attorney. I have children. I have a
life. He leaned forward again. What does
Barack Obama have? Huh? What does he
have? This went on for approximately 10
more minutes. It included references to
Obama's birth certificate, Michelle
Obama's school lunch program, and
inexplicably the Netflix documentary
about octopuses. By the end, J. D. Vance
was crying, actually crying on camera at
2:00 in the morning while wearing a Yale
Law t-shirt. He deleted the video after
about 20 minutes, but again, screenshots
are forever and screen recordings are
even more forever. The next day, Barack
Obama was asked about Vance's meltdown
during a casual conversation with
reporters. Obama smiled. That smile, the
one that had started all of this. You
know, he said, speaking slowly, savoring
every word. I've seen a lot of reactions
to a lot of things over the years, but I
have to say Senator Vance's response has
been educational.
He paused. He says he earned his spot at
Yale. He says he belonged there. And
maybe he did. Maybe the geographic
diversity program worked exactly as
intended. Maybe Yale was right to admit
a kid from Kentucky who had a compelling
story but mediocre credentials. Another
pause longer this time. But here's what
I find interesting. Senator Vance has
spent years attacking programs like the
one that gave him his opportunity. He's
written that they lower standards. He
said they're unfair to qualified
applicants. He's built an entire
political identity on the idea that
elite institutions should only admit the
very best based purely on merit. Obama
looked directly into the camera. And now
we know that by his own standards, by
his own criteria, by his own definition
of merit, J. D. Vance should never have
been admitted to Yale Law School. He
didn't have the grades. He didn't have
the test scores. He had a compelling
personal narrative and a home address in
an interesting zip code. The smile
again. Senator Vance didn't earn his
degree. Yale gave it to him as a gift. A
gift he spent the last decade pretending
he purchased with hard work and
determination. A gift he's used to
attack other people who received similar
gifts. people who were honest about
where they came from and how they got
there. Obama straightened his jacket.
The word for that, I believe, is fraud.
He turned and walked away, leaving
reporters shouting questions behind him.
Your degree is fake. Four words, 16
characters, one destroyed political
career. The social media response was
instantaneous and overwhelming. Within 1
hour, Yale Records was the number one
trending topic in the United States.
Within 2 hours, it was the number one
trending topic globally. Within 3 hours,
the memes had already become a genre
unto themselves.
The first wave of memes featured JD
Vance's face photoshopped onto various
participation trophy images. JD Vance
showed up occasionally, read one
caption. JD Vance tried his best, he
didn't, read another. The second wave
focused on the 2.87 GPA. JD Vance a
solid C plus. JD Vance, just above the
Mendoza line of academia. The third wave
was about the attendance. JD Vance, why
go to class when you can write a memoir
about not going to class? JD Vance,
present in spirit. The fourth wave was
the recommendation letter. He's from
Kentucky, which I understand is a real
place, became an instant catchphrase.
People started using it for everything.
I bought a car from Dave. He's from
Ohio, which I understand is a real
place. My doctor said I have high
cholesterol. He's from Cleveland, which
I understand is a real place. The fifth
wave was the 2 a.m. video. Clips of
Vance crying were set to various sad
songs. Someone autotuned his rant into a
surprisingly catchy song. Someone else
created a deep fake of Vance, delivering
the rant, but in the voice of various
celebrities. By the end of the week,
your degree is fake had become one of
the most used phrases on the internet.
People were putting it on t-shirts.
Someone commissioned a billboard. A
bakery in Ohio started selling fake
degree cookies shaped like diplomas. JD
Vance's approval rating, already
underwater, dropped another 14 points.
His disapproval rating hit an all-time
high. Polls showed that reminds me of
someone who cheated their way through
school was now the most common
association with his name. Republican
donors started quietly distancing
themselves. Campaign events were
cancelled. A scheduled speech at a major
conservative conference was postponed
indefinitely. His own party started
treating him like an embarrassing uncle
at a wedding. Technically family, but
not someone you wanted near the
microphone. 3 weeks later, JD Vance gave
what his team called a major address on
the steps of the Supreme Court. It was
intended to reset his image, to move
past the controversy, to remind America
why they should take him seriously as a
politician. It didn't work. Protesters
showed up with signs reading 2.87
and show us your transcript. Someone had
rented a billboard truck that circled
the block, displaying the he's from
Kentucky, which I understand is a real
place quote on a continuous loop. Vance
tried to give his speech about judicial
philosophy and constitutional
originalism. But every time he mentioned
standards or qualifications or the best
and brightest, the crowd erupted in
laughter. He cut the speech short. He
didn't take questions. As he walked back
to his car, surrounded by aids and
security, a reporter shouted one final
question. Senator Vance, do you regret
going to Yale? Vance stopped. He turned.
For a moment, it looked like he was
going to say something, something
honest, maybe something real. Then his
face hardened, and he turned away
without answering. J. D. advance Yale
Law School class of 2013 geographic
diversity admit 2.87 87 GPA, 43%
attendance, pity recommendation,
United States senator, best-selling
author, fraud. And that, ladies and
gentlemen, is the story of how Barack
Obama, armed with nothing but a manila
folder and a lifetime of patience,
singlehandedly destroyed J. D. Vance's
political credibility on national television.
television.
Some people play chess. Barack Obama
plays a game so advanced it doesn't have
a name yet. JD Vance wanted to be the
voice of the forgotten American, the
champion of the working class, the man
who proved that anyone can make it if
they work hard enough. Instead, he
became the poster child for failing
upward, for benefiting from systems you
later condemn, for building a myth on a
foundation of mediocrity.
He wanted to be Lincoln. He wanted to be
Bill Gates. He wanted to be the
embodiment of the American dream. He
turned out to be the embodiment of a
participation trophy. Your degree is
fake. Sleep tight, Senator Vance. And
don't forget, C's get degrees, but they
don't get to be president. The Manila
folder Barack Obama used has been
donated to the Smithsonian. It will be
displayed next to the hat Abraham
Lincoln wore to Ford's Theater and the
peanut Jimmy Carter used to campaign in 1976.
1976.
JD Vance's memoir Hillbilly Elegy has
been reclassified in most bookstores
from biography/memoir
to fiction. The Yale law professor who
wrote the recommendation letter has
declined to comment, but has been seen
wearing a t-shirt that reads, "I'm from
Connecticut." which I understand is a
real place. The phrase 2.87
has been officially added to the urban
dictionary as meaning the minimum
required to maintain a facade of competence.
competence.
JD Vance's wife has not filed for
divorce. However, she has been seen
reading a book titled So Your Husband's
entire identity was a lie, a guide. If
you made it this far, you're exactly the
kind of person who appreciates when the
universe delivers perfect comedic
justice. Share this with everyone.
Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin,
Georgia, Arizona, Nevada, North
Carolina. Every voter in every swing
state needs to know this story. Every
person who's been lectured by J. D.
advance about real Americans and hard
work and meritocracy needs to know that
the lecturer got into Yale through
affirmative action, graduated with a
2.87 and skipped nearly half his
classes. Every time JD Vance opens his
mouth about elite institutions, remember
he's describing himself. Every time he
talks about working your way up,
remember he barely passed.
Every time he attacks programs designed
to help underprivileged students,
remember he was one. Your degree is
fake. Share it, post it, make it a
hashtag, put it on a billboard. Because
some stories are too good not to tell.
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