The core theme is that personal growth and freedom are often blocked by "dead weight" from past beliefs, identities, and wounds, and that true progress requires actively shedding these burdens rather than adding more tasks.
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There's a version of you that is buried
under everything that you were taught to
tolerate. The peopleleasing and the
overthinking and the perfectionism, all
of that. And I want you to understand
that you're not stuck because you're
lazy or unmotivated or something wrong
with you. You're probably stuck because
you're carrying so much dead weight. You
have old beliefs. You have old
identities. You have old wounds. And so
this isn't about adding more to your
to-do list. This is about removing what
is quietly killing your momentum in
life. And so let's talk about these
things that you need to eliminate to
finally feel free. And I'm going to just
hammer home through these quickly. Okay.
The first one is this weird loyalty that
you feel to a version of you that no
longer exists. Like we all carry ghosts,
old identities, old stories of
ourselves. But I want you to understand
that staying loyal to an outdated
version of yourself is the fastest way
to suffocate your own growth. Your
nervous system may still be wired for
survival, not expansion. And that's
something that happened during
childhood. But just because you had to
play small or be quiet or not be seen
back then doesn't mean that you still do
now. You have to understand that you're
allowed to evolve. You need to give
yourself permission to evolve. You're
allowed to be unrecognizable to yourself
and to the people who love you. And your
subconscious is wired to repeat, not to
reinvent. So, you're going to continue
to repeat old versions of yourself over
and over and over again if you do not
step in the driver's seat and be
intentional about doing something
different. If your past is writing your
present moment, then your future's
already predictable and dead. Letting go
isn't failure. It's the funeral of who
you used to be that finally frees you.
The next level of your life requires a
new version of you, not a recycled
version of you who survived the last
season that you went through. If a snake
does not shed its skin, it will
suffocate. And you will suffocate all of
your dreams if you do not let old parts
of you die off. So, that's the first
thing. The second thing is this habit of
self-sabotage right before you break
through. Have you ever noticed that
right when things are about to start
working, you self-sabotage or you numb
out or you disappear or you burn out in
some sort of way? That's not a
coincidence. It's conditioning. Your
nervous system may not feel safe with
success. So, you create chaos because
chaos might feel familiar to you or
because burning it all down will keep
you exactly where you are. Self-sabotage
is often self-p protection from a life
that's bigger than you're used to or
more than you're receiving in your
current life, what you're used to
receiving or more than you think that
you actually deserve. The closer that
you get to a breakthrough, the louder
that your inner critic is going to get.
You're not afraid to fail. You're afraid
of finally not failing, which is
something that you've never been
comfortable with. Even if you're miserable,
miserable,
you can be comfortable in misery and
less comfortable in the unknown. And so,
you would rather just repeat the misery
than to step off into the unknown and
create something greater than you ever
have. So, that's number two. Number
three is toxic people who drain your
energy. This one is quick and super
easy. You cannot heal in the same
environment that hurt you. No matter how
strong your boundaries are, the wrong
people will always find a way to drain
you. You get what you tolerate. You have
to ask yourself what you're willing to
tolerate for this next chapter in your
life. You teach people how to speak to
you. You either need to teach people how
to speak to you differently or you need
to let go of the people who drain your
energy. So that's number three. Number
four is this addiction that you have to
the approval of others. Most people
don't live, they perform. They're like a
jester that's dancing for a king. And
when you're addicted to the approval of
other people, rejection doesn't just
sting. Like it actually starts to feel
like a internal death because your
identity is outsourced. And so you have
been looking for other people to tell
you that you're good enough your entire
life versus actually just slowing down
and realizing that you already are good
enough. You can't become who you're
meant to be if you're constantly just
playing a character for other people.
And if you're not careful, your dreams
will slowly morph into whatever gets you
the most praise from other people.
People pleasing is self-abandonment.
Like let that one sink in for a minute.
If you're a people pleaser, you're
self-abandoning is what you're actually
doing. Have you ever thought about that
way? You have to be authentic. You have
to figure out who you truly are. Your
authenticity will cost you the approval
of other people. You need to be able to
stomach that. That's number four. Number
five, you need to have everything
figured out. You got to get rid of that.
This obsession that you have with
certainty is really just a trauma
response. It's control that's disguised
as, hey, I'm being responsible. If you
want like a a 10-year plan before you
take one step forward, that is just the
fear of the unknown. That's not wisdom.
You don't need the whole puzzle in place
just to take the next step. Most of the
clarity that you will get in your life
is just from movement in the right
direction, not from sitting down and
thinking about it. You're wasting a ton
of energy trying to think your way
through what can only be lived. And
that's why you're overthinking. And
that's why it doesn't seem to make any
sense because you've actually got to
take action towards that thing. You've
got to learn to live your life in the
headlights. If you get into a car in the
middle of the night and go for a drive,
you can't see your destination. You can
only see what the headlights light up in
front of you, the next 100 ft. And after
you drive those 100 ft, guess what
happens? You can now see the next 100 ft
and then the next and then the next. And
so you're trying to plan out the entire
route when in reality you can't see the
next 100 feet in front of you. And so
you've got to get better at ready, fire,
aim, which means you get ready, you take
action, and then you make adjustments.
Not you get ready, and then you think
for a little while, and you think for a
little bit longer, and then you plan,
and then you plan to plan, and you plan
to plan to plan. It's like you get
ready, you take action, and you make
adjustments along the way. You've got to
get rid of this living in someday mode.
Someday is where your dreams go to die.
That's where they wither away at a job
that you hate because you just been, you
know, pushing your dreams down the road.
Really, what it is more than anything
else is it's procrastination wrapped up
in like the comfort of soon, soon I'll
do it. Like, you have to really be
present. I've done episodes on this
before about the fact that one day
you're going to die. One day. So, you've
got to have that one day I'm going to
die bring urgency to the present moment.
That phrase one day, like one day I'll
do it, has buried more dreams than
failure ever will. The brain loves this
illusion of future safety because taking
action right now requires risk and so it
rather just deflect and go, well, one
day, someday in the future, I'll do it.
You have to understand that the more
overwhelmed you feel, the more
attractive later seems. But later never
comes. You and I both know that. And if
something really truly matters to you,
you need to schedule it and you need to
force yourself to do it. If you won't
schedule it, stop pretending that it
actually matters to you. So that's
number six. Number seven is this fantasy
that success will magically fix you. The
more money, the more followers, the more
likes, the more validation, none of that
is going to heal your inner world.
Success will only amplify what is
already there. And I've said it before,
but the only problems that money solves
are money problems. So, if you're using
your dreams and your success that you
want to escape yourself, you will build
a life that will look really good to
other people, but it's going to feel
like a prison to you. Hustle is an
amazing distraction from your emotional
pain. Trust me, I've done it before.
I've kept myself busy. My addiction was
being a workaholic to run away from all
of my problems. and it feels good until
the crash happens. So, you have to
understand you'll keep raising the bar
and keep raising the bar and keep
raising the bar because you're
unconsciously running from your wounds.
I want you to understand that a bigger
bank account and more success doesn't
fix a bankrupt sense of selfworth. So,
that's number seven. Number eight, you
need to stop neglecting your inner
child. And this might sound kind of
weird if you've never heard this before,
but your inner child isn't gone. They're
the one that is panicking inside of you
when you're scared or when you're
overreacting or when you're overthinking
or when you're shutting down. That
tantrum that you throw in an adult form
is often just the seven-year-old version
of yourself that's looking for safety
still. So unprocessed childhood pain
doesn't just go away. It doesn't
disappear. It just learns adult coping
strategies like people pleasing or like
being too controlling or learning to
avoid. Most of your self- sabotage is
actually self-p protection from a
wounded part of you. Think about that
for a second. That's one of the truest
things that you will ever hear. Most of
your self- sabotage is self-p protection
from a wounded part of you from
childhood. Reparenting yourself means
you giving yourself what you needed then
right now. And I want you to understand,
you're not crazy. You're just carrying
unmet needs that deserve some
compassion. Not some criticism, not
hate, but some compassion. You need to
learn to develop a relationship with
that child who is still deeply inside of
you. that child who needed a secure
adult to give them something back then
that an adult couldn't give them.
Whether that be safety, whether that be
love, whether that be a hug, whether it
be emotional intelligence, whatever it
might have been, you're healing the
version of you that needed something
back then but didn't get it. That's what
it looks like to actually reparent
yourself. Number nine, next thing you
need to get rid of, perfectionism. that
is dressed up as high standards. Let's
really call perfectionism what it is.
You have a fear of being judged.
Perfectionism is just anxiety that's
dressed up a little bit cuter. That's
really what it is. And we always say
like, "Oh, it's got to be perfect. If it
it's got to be perfect, it's it's got to
be perfect." Really, what you're saying
is, "If it's not perfect, I'm not safe."
And that's a trauma response. You'll
never build anything meaningful in your
entire life if you're obsessed with not
messing up because you are a human and
you will mess up. Humans are flawed. We
will make mistakes and perfectionism
kills all of the momentum in your entire
life. So, it's not about just going out
and doing your best and all of that.
It's really just about doing it for the
sake of doing it. Whatever it is, it's
about putting yourself out there, doing
it, making sure it gets done, screwing
it up, and just realizing that done is
better than perfect. Why? Because done exists.
exists.
Guess what? Perfectionism doesn't exist.
And you know it, but you need to really,
really feel it is the difference. And
number 10, the 10th thing that you need
to get rid of is your fear of failure.
Failure isn't about failure at all. It's
about what you make it mean about you.
And here's the truth that you need to
understand. You will fail. You know
you'll fail. And that's the point. But
you're afraid that failure will confirm
your worst fear. And that fear is that
you're not good enough. And so you try
to avoid it. You try to run away from
it. Most people rehearse failure in
their minds so often that they never
even risk success because they're so
afraid of it. And so I want you to
understand, you don't need more
confidence. What you need more than
anything else is more courage. You need
to develop a willingness to suck at
something long enough until you get
good. It's like the phrase I've said
here many times, you will never be a
graceful master if you will not let
yourself be a foolish beginner. You have
to fail. Failure, you know, is part of success.
success.
The creator of Honda has a quote that
says success is 99% failure. Failure is
necessary to succeed. Failure builds
resilience. And so you've got to learn
to develop a muscle to run towards
failure because really more than
anything else, that is where your growth
lives. And so I want you to understand
if this hits you in your chest, good.
It's not meant to shame you in any sort
of way. This is really meant to wake up
parts of you that know that you're meant
for more. You can't carry the old with
you into the new life. One of them has
to go. And so let it be the version of
you that you really want to be, not the
version of you that you used to be. Hey,
thanks so much for watching this video.
Based off of what you have been watching
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