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How Reading Body Language Helps Influence People | Rich Ferguson | TEDxSanLuisObispo | TEDx Talks | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: How Reading Body Language Helps Influence People | Rich Ferguson | TEDxSanLuisObispo
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Core Theme
This content explains how magicians leverage inattentional blindness and subconscious cues to influence perception, and how these principles can be applied to understand human behavior in various professional and personal contexts.
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before we start I needed to pay close
attention I'm gonna need you to pay
close attention I'm gonna use sleight of
hand to switch some hearts let's start
[Music]
so how many switches did you see did you
see six card switches if you said six
you'd be right but did you happen to
catch the other things we've switched
for instance now Mar in a suit and my
card to blue my furnitures gone and
everything behind me is switched while
you are focused on watching me change
the cards my team was changing
everything else clear it's evil I'm
sorry we're all blind
that's called inattentional blindness or
change blindness we're all affected by
it and that's we're gonna talk about
today I'm rich Ferguson I'm a magician
you might know me as a magician but I
bet you didn't know that I didn't learn
to read until I was 11 years old and
that gave me a very deep appreciation
for human behavior and today I'm gonna
share my greatest secret with you which
is crazy because I say magicians don't
share their secrets so I don't know if
there's anyone in the Union here but no huh
huh
but I'm gonna be sharing with you more
of a life skill how to read human
behavior so you can use it to apply it
in cells communications hiring fire
negotiations poker anything where there
is a situation where there's something
on the line a stress factor or a
situation where someone might not tell
you the full truth but before we start I
thought we'd play a little game I want
you all to close your eyes for just a
second all of you close your eyes I've
been up here Cup been up here in front
of it for a couple minutes imagine what
I'm wearing but specifically imagine my
tie is it dotted or is it striped I
imagine what color it is now open your
eyes now a few of you probably got it
right but some of you might have been
led astray by what I was saying
of course it's black I'm a magician it's
required by the Union all right not a
big deal but before we get into the
whole program I have to give you a
warning body language and influence go
hand-in-hand but you can't try to
influence somebody when it comes to
cells or negotiations or anything like
that without observing first so the
first rule of in
and persuasion is you must observe
details and clues before you push your
agenda otherwise you're just a cheesy
salesman and you're just pushing your
thing on them without any regard to
their nieve their fears their beliefs or
whatever so we're gonna start with human
behavior from a body language standpoint
but since we're at a college and were at
this beautiful place I thought I would
give you a pop quiz that's I can see the
stress on some faces already and say you
could trust me I'm a magician it's okay
maybe not so quiz number one do is a
person lying if they look up to the
right you've heard that a lot right it's
very common knowledge but it's not true
they keep you looking at a lot of things
they they could be look at those balloons
balloons
there's no balloons he looked you
totally looked like you I knew it
there's a lot of reasons people could
look that way but more importantly the
real takeaway here is you haven't
baselined this person you don't know how
they tick normally maybe they're
left-handed maybe they're right brain
dominant you don't know if that's where
they look when they lie or if that's
where they look to fabricate information
you don't know so if it's commonly known
that someone looks to the right and
they're lying
well did it make sense if they look to
the left they're always telling the truth
truth
no you can you don't have context you
don't know them so the real secret to
body language is evaluate in a person
and understanding their baseline before
you make a judgment call because if you
make a judgment call and call somebody
out on something like oh why you touch
and you're likely are you nervous
well now that says more about me is me
projecting than it does about the person
so I always be careful on that now if
someone's staring directly at you this
is very common of compulsive liars
be very careful know what does that mean
are they lying no it could mean a lot of
things one it could just be how they are
socially - it could be they may be if
they're in love maybe they're awestruck
or maybe they're just lying to you who
knows so when you go home tonight if
your significant other is staring at you
a lot they might be lying to you or they
might love you I don't know the answer
the fact is we don't have context I
don't want y'all going home and fighting
now all right you don't have context it
really comes down to context and more
importantly though win-win does the
shift of behavior happen that's key the
fact that they're in a certain position
means nothing this all comes
all this ice stuff comes down to the
visual auditory regions of the brain
over 25% of our brain is entirely
devoted to vision alone and another 25
is loosely related to vision so it's a
lot of your brain devoted to this so it
makes sense that your eyes might track
when I'm researching information from my
database versus me fabricating it
because I'm a certain dominant in my
brain arm right hand it's stuff like
that so you can't base on you can't take
this information and say oh someone is
lying because they looked away there's a
lot of reasons they might test number
two what's it mean if somebody's arms
are crossed
are they disinterested or are they not
listening to you you know that's the
common thing you might think when it
comes to human behavior but this is just
a snapshot we don't know why this
person's like this if you came across
this person and their arms are crossed
it means nothing to you because you
didn't do it now if you're trying to
sell them something you might want to
get them out of this state because they
will be more receptive to information if
you can remove them from that state
however if they're like this and you say
yeah the price is $13.99 I go oh really
and they've crossed their arms now you
have great Intel and that's what we're
talking about we're talking about the
win this is a great one is the person on
the left or the right more confident and
receptive to information now a casual
observation might say well you know the
person on the right here he's leaning
back he's comfortable his legs are
crossed he's got a smile on his face
of course he's the one I want to talk to
and you'd be dead wrong let me tell you
why the person on the left is doing a
couple things you might not be aware of
and this all comes down to subconscious
behavior this is key to reading people
and gathering Intel for you to create
your best strategy and success for sales
on the right his legs are apart that's a
very confident position now it's
different if he's next to you at a poker
player and he's got his legs open and
he's taking up your personal space now
its dominance that's far different from
confidence and it's sometimes very
misconstrued unfortunately he's also
sitting forward he's engaged another
subconscious sign of engagement he made
it not even know he's doing it but most
importantly the two things you're gonna
notice here is on the on the left his
thumbs are up and on the right his thumbs
thumbs
down and that's a really strong sign of
engagement and interest in what's going
on on the right his thumbs are down his
legs are crossed he's leaning back all
out of comforting himself he's very
nervous and he's not digging what he's
hearing and you might see that face he's
smiling that's out of nerve nervous
tension released because he's nervous
with the situation but then again I just
made all that up because these are
snapshots we don't have the context but
if it went from here to there I know
exactly what it means and that's the key
now I'm playing poker it's my turn to
play it's not his turn to bet yet yet
he's already mad dogging me he's already
got his hands on his chips what does
this mean and who's got the best hand
most evaluate it for a second well I can
observe a couple things right now
one he's playing his the magician duh
well I don't know why he's doing that
he's gonna lose his money I can change
the cards so that's that but moving on
to body language there's a couple things
you might notice one I'm wearing the
radiant wedding ring he's not what's
that tell you I have someone to answer
to when I go home he doesn't so he might
play a little looser and more
aggressively take some risk that's just
something to observe has nothing to do
with body language but it is all about
clues and assessing the whole package
couple things you might want to know
he's mad dogging me he knows he's doing
that he's consciously doing it and when
it comes to conscious acting under a
situation when there's a stress stimulus
not just in general life but when
there's something on the line you can
just bet the opposite of what he's
trying to portray so that alone tells me
his card - probably no good he's just
trying to steal some money - early in
the hand I'm holding my cards because
they're valuable to me you've heard walk
down the street and you see something
kind of weird going on here let me just
feel for your wallet you always protect
what's valuable to you and it's a lot of
times sub conscious and subconscious
signs are key to this stuff he's not
protecting his cards you've already been
thrown out on the table now let's look
at motive if his cards were so great and
he was he's got the winning hand why
would he do things to intimidate me to
scare me from giving him more money he
test number five
who's telling you less or more than they
should what's going on here somebody
knows more let's see how can I tell you
this have you ever encountered a time in
your life where you're talking to a
young child and a couple of their
friends and you already know the truth
like who broke something and then you've
pin them down you're like Johnny did you
break that vase and you're met with this
I don't know well I was playing with
Kathy and she was playing with the ball
and then it's just a whole lot of
talking and filler right one shoulder
shrugs mean they literally are telling
you half the story put your shoulder
down sir okay what message is being sent
here this is a perfect slide to
demonstrate that other items can be an
extension of your body language here a
woman is shaking my hand but it's very
delicate her fist is not in there sister
finger tips very timid but she's also
confirmed this timidness by bringing up
an item between us that's called
blocking that lets me know in this
particular environment or the setting or
something we said is causing her to be
very fearful of it so I want to get her
out of this position if I want her to be
receptive to information this is my
favorite slide because it shows how you
can project or miss read somebody based
on just a snapshot in life you walk into
a situation you see someone doing
something I you so nervous
bad thing to do because you don't have
the context so here's a situation this
tall good-looking dude shaking my hand
his hands on top very dominating kind of
position to be in
he's bigger than me he's tall he's
good-looking he's tan what's he got to
be intimidated by you know he doesn't
need to be dominating oh what's the hair
that's what it is it's no sorry uh but
let's evaluate this I'm gonna give you
two scenarios they end up in this exact
same shot one let's say I put my hand
out neutral like this to shake his hand
at a business meeting where everything
should be neutral and fair it's a fair
playing field we should start off
neutral and be open to information to
each other I put out my hand nice to
meet you and he turns my hand and brings
it toward him and squeezes it hard he's
trying to dominate me I can tell you
right then and there
he's not gonna care what I got to say
it's all about his agenda so what can I
do I'm a magician
I could do lots of stuff one his pockets
unprotected I could skill stuff you
can't even see it right I don't suggest
to do that from a body linguist
standpoint here's what you could do
he's got the control I simply invade his
space and put my hand on top just like a
politician and guess what I just did I
invaded his space letting him know
subconsciously that's all under the in
the back of the brain he doesn't even
know I've done it but the vibe sent is
I'm in control now
thanks for trying it's very cool but
that's not what happened here that's not
what happened cuz I'm a professional
observer I already knew where I stood
with this guy here he calmly seven-foot
tall he's good-looking I'm like okay I
got this guy's number I offered my hand
face up I offered it that way and that's
how I got to this scenario so it gave
him the illusion of comfort and control
because I'm sneaky that way
so the strategy of body language is very
simple first you identify if there is a
shift of behavior or not and then decide
what you're to do with that information
that's completely up to you if we had
two hours to talk about it we can talk
about strategy so now you've passed the
quiz do you feel safe you feel good now
no stress you I'm gonna judge you and
not gonna grade you now you've met the
peer go career prerequisite for my super
secret flow chart and the one thing
you're gonna take away from date today
is subconscious tells I'm gonna train
you to look for those and ignore
everything else because they're always
accurate they always tell the truth and
they are awesome so here's what we're
gonna do we're gonna stick on here for a
couple minutes think about reading a
person you walk into a situation only
two things can happen one they're
already in that position or two you put
him in that position so let's just go
through this we're gonna start with the
static side the static side is
interesting because you come across a
person who is already in a position you
don't know why they're there so you
don't have context and then also you
need multiple indicators you need other
clues to tell you what's really going on
so you're going to be left with a vague
outcome that's not actionable
information now I have to back up for a second
second
it's really important to understand this
pertains entirely to situations where
there's a stress factor and when there's
something on the line that someone may
not be telling you the full truth very
important because on the static side you
could of course just go up to your
girlfriend pick oh why are you sad and
they'll tell you this is under a
situation where there's negotiations or
poker or hiring or firing this is
different so when it's side of static
behavior you don't know anything so it
doesn't leave you with actionable
information now let's go to the shift
side this is the world I live in as a
magician on the shift side only two
things are gonna happen either it's
conscious behaviors or subconscious
behaviors if it's conscious behaviors
you know they're doing it they're
thinking about it just like the poker
player they know they're doing that but
they don't know they're holding their
cards tighter or looser or moving their
feet so that's the difference between
hundreds of conscious and subconscious
so on the conscious side only two things
are gonna happen it's either gonna be
natural and honest and all the other
clues also support that or there's gonna
be overacting for instance you're
selling something to somebody and you
finally hit him with the price that's
gonna be thirteen thousand five hundred
dollars for this used car and the oh
yeah you know and they're their feet
retreat their thumbs are teeth across
their arms everything about them says oh
no red flag but their face lights up oh
that's great you know I'm talking to my
wife tomorrow we got three other cars
we're looking at but yes you're my man
let me call you tomorrow all that's
acting and it's overacting and you can
read it simply if you can compare it to
subconscious pills because the
subconscious tells are always correct
they never lie because the person
doesn't know they're doing it that's why
I want you to focus on the subconscious
tale so if there's acting involved under
a stress situation go with the opposite
and you're most likely gonna be correct
it's very counterintuitive but that is
how it works if it's natural it's
probably true either way it leads to
actionable information information you
could take to build your strategy to
improve increase your sales or whatever
it might be now on the subconscious side
of things and this is the one thing I
want you to take away with today that is
just awesome they always tell the truth
they never lie they don't know they're
doing it think of the power and the gold
of that right there
so a subconscious tell Abby I have
playing poker with somebody let's say
the cards are dealt they look at him and
they just subtly shift up a little bit
they might as well tell me their cards
are great or if you're dating somebody
and they're like oh you know that sounds
great we should go out again tomorrow
but you see their feet retreat and crook
around the corners of their chairs out
of comfort they're just saying stuff but
what they really feel is I'm done if
you're selling something and you see
some of his hands retreat or their hands
go in their pockets and their thumbs disappear
disappear
thumbs disappearing big sign of no good
so you're looking for sub-conscious
tells they always are accurate and that
is the key to success of reading people
in magic in life so the golden rules of
body language are very simple I'm
possessive posture or gesture means very
very little without context subconscious
signs are almost always true in
conscious signs when there's that acting
involved or almost always false so I'm
gonna leave with a couple more ideas
here that go beyond this because we're
talking about reading other people
taking advantage of situations selling
to them negotiating with them but you
have to stop and realize you're only
half the equation right there because
what about you so now we have to
evaluate ourselves so here's just an
example what message is being sent here
here's a woman at a business mixer let's
say she's got a fistful of business
cards we are sure she might not have a
purse on her she may not have an outfit
that has pockets so she's got this
fistful of business cards out of just
the situation but the message sent
subconsciously to the other person is
still the same so you have to be careful
of what message you're unintentionally
sending so in this case it looks like
she's this there to hand out her cards
and she doesn't care what you have to
say it's a very dangerous thing to do
now in this situation who here has a
desk lots of us have desks have you ever
sat on the customer side of your desk
what messages are being sent is it
intimidating or dominating what's woody
what does it feel like well in this
situation here here's this guy on the
other side of my desk who maybe I'm
trying to negotiate with I want him to
open up I want him to be receptive to my
information but he's gonna be 25% less
receptive to my information if there's
junk in the way and it's blocking him
off and making him feel less secure
than me it's not an equal battlefield so
what you want to do is clear your junk
away and sit on the other side of your
desk and look at it and go does this
feel inviting or just get up and leave
your desk or better yet if you want to
push this person into a corner and this
is your objective then by all means
there's so much more I can say but I
just hope that I've helped just expand
your horizons when it comes to body
language especially subconscious tails
because they are gold my name is rich
Ferguson and I have one last thing to
ask you
keep your eyes open this time but just
[Applause] you
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