0:01 you know I think most people think Jay
0:03 everyone else is going to die I'll get
0:06 around to being happy I'll get around to
0:07 my dreams and then it's another day and
0:09 another day and they keep it in the
0:12 distance you only understand the power
0:14 of one day when you're threatened with
0:15 never having another one the
0:17 best-selling author and host the number
0:19 one Health and Wellness podcast on
0:21 purpose with Jay Shetty
0:24 this quote by Thomas Edison said when
0:28 you feel you've exhausted all options
0:32 remember this you haven't I love that
0:34 that's the power of one more or one more
0:36 and so I have lived this book in my life
0:39 like I have lived this mindset and it
0:41 has changed my life because I've always
0:44 been just one step away one habit away
0:46 one mindset away from this amazing life
0:48 that I'm grateful and blessed to live
0:50 well that's the truth right you're right
0:52 and I think the great lie in life is
0:55 that you know some scriptures say well
0:56 where there's no vision that people will
0:59 perish whatever your scriptures are if
1:00 you really do you have no vision if you
1:01 ask the average person you want to be
1:03 happy or sad what's your vision they'd
1:04 say I want to be happy you want to be
1:06 rich or poor most people say I'd like to
1:08 be rich do you want to contribute or
1:09 make no difference in the world I want
1:10 to contribute do you want beautiful
1:12 memories or no memories I want memories
1:14 so there's a vision our issue is depth perception
1:15 perception
1:18 we think it's further away than it is
1:20 and because we think it's so far away
1:22 Jay we create patterns and behaviors in
1:24 our life that perpetually keep it there
1:27 oh and that's what we do in our life but
1:29 what if that's the great lie of life and
1:32 what if the truth is that you're one
1:35 relationship away one meeting away one
1:37 conversation one podcast one interview
1:40 one new thought one new emotion one new
1:43 tactic or strategy away from completely
1:46 changing the trajectory of your life and
1:48 everyone that you and I know that we
1:49 both worked with that were blessed to
1:51 work with in our lives the truth is it
1:54 was one decision one meeting one extra
1:56 rep one more phone call one thing they
1:59 did that changed their trajectory then
2:01 the question then becomes how do I do it
2:03 and so the strategies are in the book
2:05 but conceptually that's a hundred
2:06 percent how you change your life yeah
2:09 and you you're so right I I was thinking
2:11 about this this morning last year I had
2:14 a double hernia surgery on the front
2:18 like so I could then walk for about a
2:20 month and when I say I couldn't walk I
2:22 mean like I literally couldn't oh my
2:24 gosh it was like I was like I felt like
2:26 I was teaching myself to walk again like
2:27 that's how it felt it's really
2:28 interesting what you just said about how
2:31 we perpetually push it far away I would
2:35 wake up every morning and my mind or my
2:37 initial mindset was like it will be gone
2:39 today yeah it must have gone today like
2:41 today it will be fully healed I'll be
2:44 fine today and I would wake up and I
2:45 wouldn't be
2:49 and I would feel like healing was so far
2:53 away yes it would be like 80 away that I
2:55 was missing out on the one percent
2:57 change since yesterday you got it since
2:59 yesterday I made one percent change I
3:01 was I wasn't feeling the same pain in my
3:04 nerves I was able to be flexible by one
3:06 percent more yes and I was missing out
3:08 on all of that because I was so obsessed
3:10 with how far I was that's the journey
3:13 and what happens is when you live with
3:15 an expectation that these one More's
3:17 exist the reticular activating system in
3:19 your mind filters them into your
3:21 awareness I call it the Matrix in the
3:22 second chapter of the book when you wake
3:24 up believing hey I'm one decision away
3:26 I'm one meeting away one relationship
3:29 away that's not hokey your mind begins
3:31 to filter the people places and things
3:33 into your awareness you develop
3:35 something called sensory acuity you hear
3:37 conversations you weren't hearing we've
3:38 all had that experience where we're on
3:40 an airplane I can't stop hearing these
3:41 people over here or you walk in a loud
3:43 room but you can hear your own name
3:45 auditorily over all the other names the
3:47 room that's because it's important to
3:51 you and it matters you see things and so
3:52 when something becomes important to you
3:55 and you believe it to be true the RAS
3:58 goes to proving it for you and when I
3:59 learned this ironically I talk about in
4:02 the book is my father was an alcoholic
4:04 and had tried to get sober many many
4:06 times and I'll never forget it Jay we
4:08 were driving to a baseball game of mine
4:10 my dad started crying I'd never seen my
4:11 dad cry before
4:14 and he pulls the car over and he still
4:15 isn't looking at me but he's crying and
4:16 he says Eddie and then he turns to me
4:18 and he goes
4:20 I'm gonna try to get sober and I'll
4:22 never forget this brother he goes
4:24 one more time
4:27 wow and I said really Daddy he goes I'm
4:30 going to give it one more try and I said
4:32 to him I said why would this be any
4:33 different this time
4:35 and he said never said this to me before
4:38 he goes because I I love you
4:39 and you deserve it father you can be
4:41 proud of and you can't be proud of me
4:42 right now
4:44 and I think every great thing we do in
4:47 life is one away but it's also born from love
4:48 love
4:50 to talk about your book when you love
4:52 people or you love something so deeply
4:54 if that love is greater than what the
4:56 obstacles might be now you got a shot to
4:58 do it then my dad gets sober he comes
5:00 home from rehab I say Daddy are you
5:02 never gonna drink again
5:04 and he said I can't promise you that I
5:05 can promise you I'm not going to drink
5:09 for one more day at a time wow and he
5:10 lasted the rest of his life stacking
5:12 those one more days up so I know the
5:15 power of one more the other thing I also
5:17 know humans can change I watched my hero
5:20 do it I watched my dad live my first 15 years
5:21 years
5:24 so I'm in a lot of fights wow a lot of
5:26 lying a lot of difficult times and then
5:29 I saw this man transform and in life
5:31 we're most qualified to help the person
5:33 we used to be and what we think in life
5:35 and I hope everybody gets this we think
5:36 the things we're most ashamed of
5:38 embarrassed by our divorce our
5:40 bankruptcy or maybe we've just always
5:42 been average and ordinary this
5:44 disqualifies me from being successful
5:47 and happy what if that's not true what
5:49 if the hardest things of your life are
5:51 the very things that qualify you I'll
5:52 give you an example you know my dad got
5:54 sober somebody helped him
5:56 my dad was going to take his life or
5:58 lose his family and I didn't know who it
5:59 was until months ago some precious human
6:02 being whom I didn't know in my dad's
6:05 Darkest Hour of his life Jay said I'll
6:07 help you I'll help you little to that
6:10 person no I'd be his son and I'd help
6:11 millions of people and I'd be on Jay
6:13 Shetty show and we both help millions of
6:15 people and the more ironic thing that
6:17 this person helped my dad is what
6:19 qualified them to help my dad
6:22 they were a drunk they were an alcoholic
6:24 they at one time were a drug addict they
6:26 at one time were lying and stealing and
6:27 living in the shadows the very thing
6:29 that person probably figured that
6:31 disqualifies me from having a successful
6:34 life was the one thing that did qualify
6:36 them to help my dad so if you're
6:37 listening to this and you've had
6:39 something you're ashamed of or a failure
6:41 or a setback you're most qualified to
6:43 help the people you used to be yeah and
6:45 that person that alcoholism they
6:46 suffered with their drug addiction
6:49 helped my dad live those one more days
6:52 forever uh that that is the best
6:55 explanation I've heard of how pain turns
6:57 into purpose right the thing that
6:59 brought you down that broke you down
7:02 that made you feel like you were losing
7:04 everything that's right gave you back
7:06 everything when you used that to serve
7:08 the people that were struggling with it
7:09 and then there's then there's a purpose
7:11 and you know if you can survive the
7:13 temporary pain in your life and all pain
7:15 is temporary I watched my father pass
7:17 away last year he was in tremendous pain
7:19 even our bodies are determined only our
7:22 souls are permanent if you can survive
7:23 the temporary on the other side of
7:25 temporary pain you meet another version
7:27 of yourself another insight about
7:28 yourself and that's why it's so
7:29 important to grow as a person because
7:31 the more we grow and become a new person
7:33 we can help those that used to be like
7:34 us that's why you and I are so addicted
7:36 to growing and learning and we're
7:38 curious because if you used to be a
7:40 broken person and you no longer are
7:42 quite as broken you can help broken
7:43 people if you used to be broke
7:46 financially and you no longer are you
7:47 can help people whatever you do for a
7:49 living at one time you didn't know about
7:51 it and now you do you can help those who
7:53 need to know about it and so you're
7:55 immensely qualified if you understand
7:58 the power of doing one more oh I love it
8:00 I love it tell me about so let's say and
8:02 you've probably come up against this all
8:04 the time a lot of the people say okay
8:06 I'm gonna practice that I'm With You Ed
8:08 I love you and Jay I'm listening and I
8:10 go yes I'm going to practice the power
8:11 of one more
8:13 now what I find and this is why you're
8:16 so great at teaching this because you're
8:19 not teaching it as a gimmick a glitch
8:20 you're like a little a little
8:23 affirmation this is like real it makes
8:25 sense like it works
8:28 people get so tied to the result that
8:31 when they try it the next day and the
8:33 sales meeting doesn't go their way or
8:35 the pitch doesn't go their way they go
8:38 ah it doesn't work it doesn't work why
8:40 didn't it work and how should we respond
8:42 when we fail or get rejected well it
8:43 didn't work because you're so attached
8:45 to the outcome I coach a lot of athletes
8:47 I know you do as well and one of the
8:48 things that's a really nuanced thing in
8:50 life it's great to have goals you should
8:52 have goals I want to do this or that but
8:53 in the moment of execution you have to
8:55 separate from outcome in the moment that
8:58 you're executing and just be present and
9:00 exist I talk about this in the book
9:01 here's what I would say if you're going
9:03 to win long term
9:06 95 of people have a operating system in
9:08 their mind where they operate out of
9:10 history and memory
9:12 I like that and about five percent of
9:14 humans operate out of vision and
9:16 Imagination so the reason we're so much
9:18 happier I believe when we're children is
9:20 we have no history in memory so we
9:22 operate of imagination and dreams and
9:24 vision but at some age some people it's
9:26 five years old some it's eight some it's
9:29 18 some it's 28. they create a history
9:31 and that history then becomes the
9:33 operating system so even if they take on
9:35 a new Behavior or tactic they're
9:36 operating out of a pattern of thought
9:39 and belief that's historic and memory
9:41 based and so the number one thing I
9:43 would say is begin to operate out of
9:45 your imagination again out of your
9:48 vision again create from that place if
9:50 you create from that place now you're
9:52 not tied to the result in that moment
9:54 you're giving yourself space to imagine
9:56 and create something new in your life
9:59 that I never heard that in that language
10:02 man that is so powerful I you're so
10:04 right about his kids that we don't have
10:05 any memory or history so we don't have
10:07 any blocks we don't have any limits and
10:08 begin to listen to the people around you
10:10 people say hey you're the product of who
10:11 you're hanging around how do I know if
10:14 they serve me or not here's a way that
10:15 one way to just deduce this because they
10:17 could be beautiful people who care about
10:20 you and they might even support you but
10:22 when you're with them what are you ever
10:23 have those friends you're with them
10:24 you're like you remember when you
10:25 remember you remember you remember
10:27 remember that party remember that thing
10:29 and if your friends are constantly
10:31 bringing you to the filtration system of
10:34 memory and history all the time think
10:36 this through how often are those friends
10:38 saying hey what are you working on now
10:40 where are you going what's your vision
10:42 what do you want to create and maybe
10:44 that sounds hokey but you and I have
10:45 some of the some of our both our friends
10:48 have the most amazing histories and you
10:50 can't get them to talk about them no you
10:51 have to work because what are they still
10:53 doing yeah they're talking about now and
10:55 where they're going their Viewpoint in
10:57 their life is being present and having a
11:00 vision for the future yeah a formula for
11:03 misery a formula for lack of creativity
11:05 lack of productivity is constantly being
11:08 history and memory even if it's good it
11:10 doesn't serve us and for most of us it's
11:13 not good and we keep living from it or
11:15 trying to move away from it create a new
11:17 future don't move away from the past
11:20 create a brilliant imaginative curious
11:23 vibrant vision for your life oh I love
11:25 that yeah we're always trying to create
11:28 the same past yes as opposed to a new
11:30 future and I find that what's really
11:32 interesting about that oldest study
11:35 showed that Nostalgia makes us believe
11:38 that the past was more phenomenal than
11:40 it actually was if you remember that
11:43 party you went to a college it's better
11:45 in your memory than it actually was if
11:47 you actually could have gone back and
11:48 remembered how you felt hungover and
11:50 what you broke a bone or whatever
11:52 happened but now in your memory it's
11:54 beautiful beautiful right so our memory
11:56 also is slightly warped of the past no
11:58 question you can make things feel much
12:00 better or much worse sometimes no
12:01 question but what's what's really coming
12:04 out for me right now is this idea that
12:05 it's it's something you said a couple of
12:08 moments ago and and it sparked a thought
12:11 for me I remembered a story that Vanessa
12:13 Bryan told about Kobe Bryant after he
12:14 passed away
12:16 I was fortunate enough to interview him
12:18 around three months before it before his
12:20 tragic passing
12:22 and she told this story and she said
12:24 that Kobe would play through every
12:27 injury he would play through every pain
12:29 he had played through everything even in
12:31 the doctors and his coaches would say
12:32 stop playing
12:35 and she asked him she said once why he
12:38 still plays right again going back to
12:41 our curiosity not assuming you know your partner
12:42 partner
12:45 she asked him why do you still play and
12:46 this is just her and him there's no
12:48 cameras there's no she's telling this
12:50 story but at the time it was just them too
12:51 too
12:53 he said it's because there's someone
12:57 who's paid for a ticket today they saved
13:00 up and this is the only time they're
13:01 ever going to be able to come maybe a
13:03 son's maybe a dad's brought his kid
13:05 maybe someone's come to the game they're
13:08 a lifelong fan and they came today and
13:09 today is the only day they're gonna get
13:11 to see me and if I say I'm injured yes
13:14 they won't get to see me so I'm gonna
13:17 play so that that person one person gets
13:19 to see me play and then he goes and wins
13:21 yes and it's like that's love that's
13:23 right that's what you were saying that
13:25 love for something is in the present
13:27 moment also right love is not just for
13:30 the past and it's funny how important
13:33 one day has been when my dad got sick my
13:35 dad got cancer when he first got sick he
13:37 goes hey my dad was a dude he goes look
13:39 I'll fight this one time
13:40 okay I'll do your little chemo and your
13:42 surgery but I'm not gonna pour poison
13:44 into my body I'm not gonna lose my hair
13:45 I'm not going to deteriorate I'll give
13:47 this thing a shot once if it doesn't
13:49 work I'm out
13:50 that led to eight years of him fighting
13:53 it wow chemo radiation proton therapy
13:56 surgery surgery chemo experimental chemo
13:58 and he did lose his hair and he was in
14:00 pain and I'd say to my dad I say Dad
14:02 you're suffering so much you said you
14:04 wouldn't suffer he said no Eddie I'm in
14:06 pain but I'm not suffering
14:09 I I choose not to suffer and I'm not
14:11 suffering because I get to see my
14:12 grandkids again and I said and I just
14:14 said dad why are you doing this and he
14:16 said you only understand the power
14:18 of one day when you're threatened with
14:21 never having another one
14:23 I'll do anything for one more day get to
14:25 be with you one more time
14:27 give your mom a kiss one more time maybe
14:28 I'll see one of my granddaughters get married
14:29 married
14:31 and he goes I'll do anything for one
14:33 more day the beautiful thing is I was
14:36 actually with Kobe a week before he
14:37 passed away
14:39 we're in the same gym our daughters
14:40 played volleyball
14:44 and I ironically that day I watched Kobe
14:46 walk out of the gym there's only a
14:48 couple dads left it was late at night he
14:50 stayed and I stayed and he had his
14:52 youngest daughter in his arm and he was
14:55 rubbing his other daughter's back and I
14:57 remember taking note of it because I was
14:58 with Bella at the other end of the gym
15:00 and I remember thinking I don't hug
15:01 Bella enough
15:04 I need to hug no joke bro it's in the
15:06 book I went I gotta hug Bella one more
15:09 time every day not just once a day plus
15:10 one more time every day my daughter's
15:12 gonna get extra hugs because Kobe does that
15:13 that
15:15 what if I could have said to Kobe when
15:18 he got in his car Kobe
15:26 ever matters to you make it right call
15:28 your dad make it right call your mom
15:31 call your family you what if the day
15:33 before you could have said Colby
15:35 one day left
15:37 and my dad same thing I was with my dad
15:39 when he had one day left I was with my
15:41 dad when he had one hour left I was with
15:44 my dad when he had one breath left and
15:46 then when we begin to think of our life
15:49 that way the power of right now and
15:51 having one more moment and one more
15:54 minute is so beautiful it's so blessed
15:56 it's so big it's so amazing why would we
15:59 spend that minute in history why would
16:02 we spend that minute in the past when we
16:03 could be fully present in creating a
16:06 future and so you know I think most
16:08 people think Jay everyone else is gonna die
16:08 die
16:10 I think they just they just I'm never
16:12 I'm not gonna die or they go I'll get
16:15 around to being happy I'll get around to
16:17 making my masterpiece of my life I'll
16:19 get around to my dreams I'm gonna get
16:21 around to fixing this relationship
16:23 that's broken I'm gonna get around to
16:25 feeling those emotions and then it's
16:26 another day and another day and they
16:29 keep it in the distance until there are
16:31 no more days and I don't care if you're
16:34 18 years old listening to this 28 or 48.
16:37 we don't know if we have one more day
16:40 or 100 more days or a thousand more days
16:42 but we know this there'll eventually be
16:44 a time where we don't have any more days
16:46 and so why would we spend the ones that
16:50 are coming looking at the past and so my
16:51 dad really taught me those lessons and
16:53 watching him passed away and that's why
16:54 I have so I have a whole thing in there
16:57 of how to get 21 days a week run many
16:59 days I get 21 days a week we still
17:02 measure time bro like it's 1900. think
17:04 about 1900 if I want to get you a note
17:06 I'd have to write a letter out stick it
17:08 on the back of a horse's butt in 1850 30
17:11 days later you get it that was a 24-hour
17:13 day now I can text you in two seconds we
17:14 measure time the same way so I teach you
17:16 how to change your time so that you can
17:19 make that day it's maximum Bliss it's
17:22 maximum productivity what's what's one
17:25 more that you're working on right now
17:27 right now I'm actually it's an
17:28 interesting season of my life I have a
17:30 TV show that you know that I did with
17:32 NBC that's called change that I think is
17:33 you know has a chance of getting picked
17:35 up but my one more that I'm working on
17:39 right now for me and my life is my peace
17:41 and so there's this guy Jay Shetty
17:43 that's a friend of mine that uh
17:45 introduced me and my family to meditation
17:46 meditation
17:50 and I'm giving myself the gift of I
17:51 don't just do it in the morning now I've
17:53 given myself the gift of one more time
17:55 every single day of just emptying my
17:58 mind and trying to be fully present and
17:59 it's been worked for me I've got that
18:02 busy type of a mind but um I have found
18:03 that my peace
18:07 in my life most of us Jay have all these
18:09 goals of things we want to do and
18:11 they're wonderful and I believe in doing
18:12 that I think standards are more
18:14 important than goals because and I teach
18:15 you in this the book how to set the
18:17 standards that'll get those goals but we
18:18 really don't but we really don't want
18:22 the jet we don't want the hit song we
18:23 don't want the amazing relationship we
18:25 don't want the million dollars we don't
18:27 want the we want how we think it'll make
18:29 us feel and what if we begin to become
18:31 more intentional and outcome oriented
18:33 about the things we feel in our life and
18:35 it took me a while but now that I'm
18:38 older when I feel strong when I feel
18:40 Blissful when I feel peaceful is when I
18:42 produce the physical things that I want
18:45 not the other way around and so my one
18:47 mores are more emotional Focus most of
18:49 us then I'll come up for air here have
18:51 an emotional home there's three or four
18:53 or five emotions we experience on a
18:55 regular basis I write about it in the
18:57 book and no matter what happens we find
18:58 a way even if they don't serve us to get
19:00 those emotions if your emotional home is
19:04 fear anxiety worry depression anger you
19:07 find a way every week to get that
19:09 emotion but what if that emotional home
19:12 could become Bliss and peace and joy and
19:15 creativity and ecstasy and so I'm
19:17 working on one more beautiful emotion
19:19 for my emotional moment for me it's
19:21 peace I love that I love that answer man
19:23 it's good to hear about what you've been
19:24 saying like we're not living in the past
19:26 and you're like in the present but to
19:29 have you answer that question that peace
19:31 is your presence like that's what you're
19:33 looking for right that's that's the
19:35 present and it shows that you're using
19:36 this like it works you're doing it time
19:38 and time again and I love what you said
19:40 it moves from the physical things into
19:42 the subtle into the emotional into the
19:45 the deeper I I think that's so profound
19:47 what was that one more that if you
19:49 didn't do it you wouldn't be here today
19:51 what was what was one of those ones that
19:53 like ah like that was the one that
19:55 convinced me apart from obviously a
19:57 father that you were like ah if I didn't
19:59 do that I wouldn't be at my let today I
20:01 wouldn't be maxed out life my first the
20:02 first business I built was a financial
20:05 business and I had some success J like a
20:07 lot of people do in life and then it
20:09 went backwards and sometimes you get up
20:11 the flagpole just a little bit and you
20:13 come back down that's an emotional
20:15 difficulty could be a relationship that
20:17 was good that's gone or maybe it saves
20:18 some money it's gone maybe you lost a
20:19 bunch of weight and got fit and you
20:21 gained it back for me it was my business
20:23 and I called my dad who's a pretty Wise
20:26 Guy now that he was sober and uh because
20:27 I could tell you man I'd do one more rep
20:29 in the gym I haven't done 10 reps on a
20:31 bench press in 30 years I've done 10
20:33 plus one more a lot though I haven't
20:34 done 45 minutes on a treadmill but I've
20:37 done 45 plus one more minute 10 contacts
20:39 a day never ten plus one more but the
20:41 biggest one more was actually something
20:44 else I called my dad and I said hey Dad
20:46 uh it's not gone the business is
20:49 crashing and I'm running out of money
20:51 our power was turned off our water was
20:54 turned off Jay we had to take my wife
20:56 every morning we'd lost our house we're
20:58 living in an apartment now then the
20:59 water got turned off you can't cook you
21:02 can't bathe there was a apartment
21:04 building we had an outdoor shower at the
21:06 swimming pool
21:08 and I'd have to wear newlyweds and I'd
21:09 have to get up every morning walk down
21:11 there and I'd hold a towel up while my
21:13 wife took her shower every day outdoors
21:15 and brush your teeth and then she'd
21:17 switch and hold the towel up for me and
21:19 I'd walk back up to the apartment and I
21:23 was so emasculated so ashamed so
21:26 embarrassed and
21:28 I was living a nightmare
21:30 selling a dream to everybody every day
21:32 we can do this a lot of entrepreneurs or
21:34 people can relate in their life and
21:37 anyway I called my dad that night and I
21:41 said I I think I need to pack it in I
21:43 need to go get a job and just I'm this
21:46 success thing is not
21:48 it's not for people like us and my dad
21:50 goes Eddie you don't have to decide
21:52 you're never gonna quit
21:54 he goes just don't quit for one more day
21:58 see how you feel tomorrow I go Dad he
21:59 goes just just don't do it for one more
22:01 day and I got the next day and I still
22:04 wanted to quit but not quite as much and
22:05 then I went one more day and one more
22:06 day and I found myself about 30 days
22:09 later I didn't want to quit anymore and
22:10 thank God the one more I did was I went
22:13 one more day without quitting and I'm so
22:15 grateful I didn't quit on my dream oh Ed
22:19 wow that is like oh my gosh man like you
22:21 just everything you're just dropping
22:22 right now I'm just like I hope everyone
22:25 is taking notes if you haven't been
22:26 taking notes of when you take a
22:28 screenshot right now of where we're at
22:29 right now because that's what you're
22:30 gonna have to listen to again so take a
22:32 screenshot share it tell everyone to go
22:33 to this segment listen to that over
22:35 again because I think what I'm hearing
22:37 you know is that this is this is a
22:39 lifestyle like this is a mindset it's a
22:42 lifestyle it's a everyday every moment
22:45 way to live this isn't just in the big
22:47 business you're building this is me
22:50 telling my wife I love her one more time
22:52 this is me making sure I mess message my
22:54 mom one more time it's me making sure
22:57 that when I'm sitting here with you I'm
22:58 always gonna have to ask you one more
23:01 question you keep giving so much no but
23:03 you keep giving well that's what you
23:05 just said it would never end I think of
23:08 people feel like they tried a lot and
23:10 then they start building up resentment
23:13 and like pain and bitterness towards
23:14 that path
23:17 and a lot of people also that I know
23:20 they just think that there are some
23:22 people who are meant to be I agree with
23:24 this and then there are some people that
23:27 are not meant to be that's correct and
23:28 they carry that with them and it comes
23:31 from this like oh yeah you were meant to
23:33 be this so that person was meant to have
23:35 it but for me this is where and I heard
23:36 that kind of come up and what you were
23:38 saying to your dad like it doesn't
23:40 happen to people like us how does this
23:43 rule how does this principle apply to
23:44 someone who's in there another best
23:46 question ever because I grew up with no
23:48 we have alcoholic dad or a drug addict
23:50 or maybe you come from divorce or maybe
23:51 your parents just didn't love you enough
23:53 whatever it was didn't tell you they
23:54 loved you enough
23:56 it's hard to have self-confidence I was
23:59 a little guy I got bullied in school and
24:02 I just and even at this age now bro I I
24:05 if I'm being completely honest
24:08 self-confidence we all teach that it's
24:09 you know part of keeping the promises
24:11 you make to yourself what if you raise
24:12 the standard a little higher you keep
24:14 the promises you make to yourself plus
24:17 one more because for me self-confidence
24:19 didn't come easy I think in life
24:21 ultimately you're going to get what you
24:23 believe you deserve and if you're wound
24:25 up wired like me I didn't think I
24:27 deserved a lot
24:28 I didn't even have a dad who could stop
24:32 drinking right I wasn't six foot four
24:35 I don't have an incredibly high IQ
24:36 there's nothing really that impressive
24:39 about me nor were people very impressed
24:41 with me most of my life
24:43 so that was my pattern that was my
24:46 history that was my memory and so the
24:47 only I could wait around until I
24:50 developed tremendous self-confidence or
24:52 I could begin to do things
24:54 every day that we're small they're not
24:57 major and over time when I did those one
24:58 more calls that one more meeting that
25:00 one more book I read that one more
25:03 podcast not only am I doing more reps so
25:05 the likelihood of me being successful is
25:07 bigger but I started to convince myself
25:09 I'm doing things other people aren't
25:11 willing to do maybe I deserve things
25:14 other people aren't going to get and
25:16 slowly but surely I started to convince
25:19 myself I did deserve it based on what I
25:21 was doing not necessarily the caliber of
25:23 my talent yeah yeah that was the
25:25 difference yeah you you just there's a
25:27 thought I've been having recently and
25:28 it's that
25:31 Comfort creates self-care
25:35 but discomfort creates self-respect
25:37 right like it's what you're saying that
25:41 the one more discomfort every day that's
25:43 where self-respect comes from yes you
25:45 don't great term yeah you don't you
25:47 don't start to trust yourself or build
25:49 self-esteem or believe in yourself
25:51 because you just say it to yourself it's
25:53 coming what you just said you gotta then
25:55 take one more meeting and see what you
25:56 learn you go out there and take one more
25:59 risk one more discomfort and I guarantee
26:01 you if you have a successful or happy
26:03 friend whichever how you determine that
26:05 and you ask them this they tell you that
26:07 we're right yeah they would tell you
26:09 gosh that's right it's right and the
26:11 difference between winning and losing
26:13 happiness and sadness is so small it's
26:15 almost it's almost scary to talk about
26:18 but the good news is I think I kind of
26:19 know what it is and it's this one more
26:21 absolutely the people that I know that
26:24 are the most successful and happy have
26:26 more uncomfortable conversation agreed
26:28 they have more uncomfortable days
26:30 they're more discomfort in their lives
26:34 yes but selected discomfort but one of
26:35 the other things that I'm asking from
26:37 now I'm like going into like the people
26:39 that I know that that I'm thinking about
26:41 and can see their faces and and I want
26:44 them to know that I'm asking for them a
26:46 lot of the time one more in the wrong
26:50 direction that's right can also be
26:53 really misguiding
26:57 sometimes uh people and I know you're a
26:59 person of Faith too and so so we can
27:01 touch on this sometimes we're climbing
27:03 the mountain and we keep doing one more
27:06 but we're actually going further away
27:10 from who we are who we want to be our
27:12 faith our partners right we've we know
27:13 people who've built
27:16 multi-billion dollar companies but lost
27:18 their kids that's right or they've
27:21 become famous and Rich but they've uh
27:23 their partner cheated on them you know
27:25 like we know a lot of those stuff and
27:26 you know people who didn't do all of
27:27 that and that's happened too like it's
27:31 it's both ways how does one use one more
27:32 and make sure it's in the right
27:34 direction that's a great question I'm
27:35 doing this now regularly because I've
27:37 made some of those mistakes of just and
27:40 what I do is I check in with myself one
27:43 more time meaning it's important to ask
27:46 yourself what matters to me now see if
27:47 you we had this conversation 20 years
27:50 ago the things that mattered to me then
27:52 are so different than What mattered to
27:54 me now but a lot of us keep operating
27:57 out of what used maybe you've achieved
27:59 or pursuing a dream and it's really
28:02 truly no longer your dream it's no
28:04 longer your dream it's when I was young
28:06 listen if we're gonna do a podcast you
28:08 say hey I need you on the show people
28:09 are going to love you you're gonna get
28:10 recognition you're gonna get you're
28:13 going to get all this acknowledgment and
28:14 that would have been my my hot button my
28:16 need you know I believe in the six human
28:18 needs my need was significance and
28:21 recognition and there's nothing wrong
28:23 with that it's wonderful and so that's
28:25 the button to get me to move would be
28:27 significance recognition well I've been
28:30 blessed the last 30 years or so of my
28:31 life to have a beautiful abundance of
28:34 significance and recognition it's no
28:37 longer what fills me now you get me to
28:39 do an interview you go hey I really
28:41 think we could help some people my big
28:43 button in my life now is contribution
28:45 there was another stage in my life it's
28:46 still there but hey if you go there
28:49 you'll grow I still want to grow but I
28:52 know me now right now I'm in a season of
28:55 my life that's contribution it's giving
28:57 it's what fills my heart and I think
28:59 it's checking in with yourself one more
29:01 time what matters to me now what do I
29:03 want now what's important to me now what
29:05 season maybe you're in a season where
29:08 you need to rest maybe your spirit and
29:10 everything about you is telling you hey
29:12 it's time to feed you again it's time to
29:15 recharge if that that's the season then
29:17 answer that call don't play out of a
29:19 past Playbook and so for me that's the
29:21 season I'm in now and I'm sure that in
29:23 five or eight more years you know
29:24 there'll be something else but I
29:26 regularly on a monthly basis you
29:27 recommend it in your book so beautifully
29:29 about your relationship checking in you
29:30 have these strategies you teach about
29:33 weekly and monthly and quarterly and
29:35 yearly with your partner of checking in
29:37 with them I also recommend you check in
29:39 with yourself what matters to you now
29:41 and so for me it's a matter of checking
29:44 in now so that I don't lose my family in
29:46 the pursuit of my business or lose me
29:49 yeah lose me who am I anymore and I've
29:51 had times where I'm like
29:54 this doesn't feel like me anymore yeah
29:56 and I had at least the ability to at
29:58 least acknowledge that and make a change
30:00 yeah and I love that you brought up
30:02 Seasons because I feel like
30:05 no one and on planet Earth we don't have
30:07 the power to change the season but you
30:10 have the power to live the season well
30:12 that's right you can either be in the
30:13 right now it's been raining right
30:16 wherever we are it's been like pouring
30:17 down with rain there's all this effort
30:19 you could carry an umbrella well you can
30:20 tell how I'm dressed I'm definitely not
30:22 dressed in my usual gear right because
30:24 I'm dressed for the rain I'm prepared
30:26 yes because that's all I can do I can't
30:28 make the rain switch off I can't stop it
30:31 right like I can't do that and so I love
30:33 hearing that you're just learning how to
30:35 thrive in the season and so if your
30:37 season's telling you to rest you can't
30:40 force the season and you you have to
30:41 live it through you have to experience
30:42 it you know I think you have to remember
30:44 one thing man I think it's as easy as a
30:46 person to forget this and I just would
30:47 love to say this because you have such
30:51 an amazing reach each of you you and I included
30:52 included
30:54 we were born to do something great with
30:55 our life
30:57 we were born to do something great with
30:59 our life and it's important to check in
31:01 from time to time of what that current
31:03 great thing is and May and sometimes we
31:05 think it's the big things it's the
31:06 people that are on both our shows
31:07 they've made this big movie they've got
31:10 this big song They're this big thing you
31:12 know who's greater the man who helped my
31:13 dad get sober
31:15 or the fact that maybe I've helped some
31:18 people because my dad got sober that one
31:21 act was greatness in his life that kind
31:23 moment with another person that says I
31:25 can help you let me connect with you and
31:28 so don't discount your own greatness
31:30 your own call to do something great and
31:33 it doesn't have to be a script or a play
31:36 or a book or a speech or on social media
31:39 it's just doing something great and you
31:41 matter I don't I don't mean this hokey
31:43 I'm telling you the truth about you you
31:45 matter you were born to do something
31:48 awesome with your life your family's
31:50 supposed to do something great as a
31:52 family and if maybe it's just checking
31:54 in and reminding yourself of that and
31:56 then asking yourself what is that thing
31:59 right now in my life and so I just think
32:01 that reminder is so important that you
32:03 know it's great to voyeuristically look
32:06 in on successful people or what we think
32:08 are successful people it's also
32:10 important that the camera turn back on
32:13 you and go you matter you matter
32:16 and that's probably the most important
32:18 thing we'd say today oh gosh man yeah
32:20 and you know one thing you just
32:22 clarified beautifully is that
32:25 great doesn't have to be big no and big
32:27 doesn't mean gray right and I think
32:30 we're so obsessed today we are in that
32:33 to do something great it has to be big
32:36 it has to be bold you know when I think
32:38 about myself honestly I didn't and I can
32:40 say this to you because I think I think
32:42 in these sessions and when we spend time
32:44 together you've heard my heart
32:46 I was one of those people who actually
32:49 never believed I could do any of this
32:51 stuff I've done I never set out when I
32:53 started and I was like oh one day I'm
32:55 gonna be I I didn't have any of that
32:58 that's not how I'm wired I was wired in
33:00 like I want to serve I want to serve
33:02 whoever comes whether it's five people
33:06 ten people I'm happy I'll serve them and
33:08 as I started to do that I got more
33:10 confidence okay now I want to serve
33:13 larger groups okay let me serve them and
33:14 then it was like and I never believed at
33:15 any point that there were these
33:18 arbitrary abstract goals of like number
33:21 one this like those one how I set out
33:24 and so when I'm listening to you speak
33:26 I hope someone's out there thinking Jay
33:28 I'm like Janette I'm like you guys where
33:30 it's like I don't Vibe with all that
33:33 like like motivation this like I Just
33:36 Vibe with the fact that I want to have a
33:39 great impact like the person that helped
33:40 your father yeah and you know what we've
33:42 both found in our life too just to give
33:44 you Insight from um someone called me
33:47 seasoned today you know this is that um
33:49 you know the universe or God really
33:51 prepares you to step into the next room
33:53 when you step in with some faith and so
33:54 maybe it does start with five or six
33:56 people and maybe that's enough but
33:59 perhaps in that space you're in there'll
34:01 be a little door open and if you step
34:03 into that one you'll you'll find I think
34:05 we think I have to have it all figured
34:07 out wozniak's a good buddy of mine who
34:09 started Apple they didn't they were a
34:10 board company they didn't really be
34:12 doing this someday they stepped into the
34:15 next space and one thing I think we also
34:17 want is an immediate result and I talk
34:18 about this in the book maybe it would be
34:20 the last little thing I'll share with
34:22 you but I went to a birthday party as I
34:24 was writing the book and it was for a
34:28 young boy and um they had a pinata we've
34:30 all been to a special in California you
34:31 have the pinata and so what they did is
34:33 they took eight of these little guys
34:36 they blindfolded them and spun them
34:37 around and they're all dizzy and they're
34:38 swinging and they're not even near the
34:40 pinata that's life a lot of times you
34:41 feel like man I'm blind I don't even
34:43 know where I'm swinging right now but
34:45 I'm swinging and so each kid hit the
34:48 pinata and the candy didn't come out
34:50 and so they take the blindfold off that
34:52 kid got tired the next little boy came
34:54 up spun him around so like seven of them
34:56 hit this pinata no candy came out the
34:58 last boy the smallest boy the youngest
35:00 boy there they fill the blindfold on him
35:02 they spin them around he's swinging too
35:04 that's life you just sort of swinging
35:06 right he finally Point him at the pinata
35:09 he hits the pinata just once bam all the
35:12 candy comes out and all the kids jump on
35:13 and celebrate
35:15 and I'm watching that and I'm going
35:18 now who broke the pinata was it the last
35:22 shot or was it the cumulative blows of
35:23 each of the shots on the pinata well we
35:25 all know the answer it was the
35:27 cumulative shots Life's a lot like that
35:29 man that we're taking shots but we don't
35:32 see any physical progress but everyone
35:35 more we're doing is compound pounding
35:37 progress and in life you have to be
35:40 willing to buy into what is invisible
35:44 progress most people quit on their dream
35:46 quit on their Vision before the candy
35:47 comes out
35:50 and what you and I didn't do is quit we
35:53 just kept swinging and eventually the
35:54 candy comes out the candy could be your
35:56 bliss your joy your financial success
35:59 your notoriety your contribution but
36:01 most people are hitting the pinata of
36:03 their life and there's no evidence it's working
36:04 working
36:06 but the truth is there's a compound
36:08 pounding effect in life that if you keep
36:12 hitting your life's pinata if you'll
36:13 stick around there'll be some candy come
36:17 out uh the power of one more everyone Ed
36:19 my let go and grab this book if you
36:21 haven't already it's gonna be a life
36:22 change I mean I mean you can just feel
36:24 the energy coming of this human being
36:26 honestly I want you to go read this book
36:28 I want to go listen to the podcast if
36:30 you don't already the first book was
36:32 called max out your life as well the max
36:37 out podcast uh Ed you are just I mean
36:38 your energy is infectious I don't know
36:40 how anyone can't listen to you read from
36:42 you hear from you and not feel like they
36:43 need to change their life like you've
36:45 just given me a list of number ones that
36:48 I'm gonna do one more uh I hope that you
36:49 keep coming back on the show I hope that
36:52 we keep getting to connect offline uh I
36:55 I hope that we get to you know keep
36:56 spending one more day one more phone
36:58 call one more time together because so
37:00 grateful for you bro I love you really
37:01 grateful man thank you so much thank you
37:03 everyone grab the copy of the book I'll
37:05 put it in the link up put in the comment
37:06 section in the caption
37:10 the power of one more this is the book
37:12 love it brother thanks bro
37:15 good that was good that was good if you
37:17 love this episode you'll love my
37:20 interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be
37:23 strategic and obsessive to find your purpose
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