The content is a collection of humorous dialogues and interactions, primarily revolving around the characters' personal lives, relationships, career aspirations, and their often eccentric approaches to everyday situations, highlighting themes of change, personal growth, and social dynamics.
Mind Map
Click to expand
Click to explore the full interactive mind map • Zoom, pan, and navigate
Mrs. David.
>> Hey, Dr. Host.
>> Just thought I'd come down and start
getting ready for swimsuit season. [laughter]
>> Good for you.
>> Not that you need it. I bet you look
great in a swimsuit. [laughter]
>> Thank you.
I've got what my father used to call
furniture disease. My chest is falling
[laughter]
I'm not uh familiar with this model. How
do I make it start?
>> You push start, [laughter] >> right?
>> This one might be broken. [laughter]
>> You have to move. Got it.
Oh [laughter] yeah.
Yeah. Now I'm feeling it.
Oh, this is great.
I could do this for the rest of my life. [laughter]
[laughter]
Hey, speaking speaking of things you do
for the rest of your life. Uh, can I
read that you're on that that tenure committee?
committee?
>> Yeah. I've got to get home.
>> I'm sure you [laughter] have a lot of
good applicants. I just want to say hi
and let you know that I'll be throwing
my hat in the [laughter]
[laughter] ring.
ring.
All right, I'll keep an eye out for that.
that.
>> Hey, Hoffet,
I'll be seeing you here for the first
time in ever.
>> Go away.
It's me and the machine with you.
>> Hey, Barry. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> Look at that. Burned a whole calorie.
>> I guess you got here early to burn off
that banana bread I baked you.
>> Yeah, it was delicious. Thank you. No,
my pleasure.
>> Well, if you if you like banana bread,
I've got a a great recipe. The trick is
in fresh ground.
>> I'll email it to you.
>> All right, I'm warm. Ready to kick it up
a notch?
>> Let's go.
That's enough cardio for me.
[clears throat] Got to stretch out
>> You okay?
>> almost there. You're doing great.
>> Thanks for lifting my spirits. Next time
try lifting the box.
>> Please hurry.
>> I DON'T NEED A TREADMILL.
>> THE DOCTOR SAYS YOU NEED TO GET EXERCISE.
EXERCISE.
>> I GET PLENTY OF EXERCISE.
>> Crushing my will TO LIVE IS AN EXERCISE.
>> If she isn't going to use it, then why
are we doing this?
>> She'll use it. All I need is to rig it
with a fishing pole and a honey baked ham.
ham.
>> All right. Now, what
>> we set up in Howie's old room.
>> Do you know how to set it up? Please.
I'm an MIT trained engineer. I think I
can handle this. [screaming]
[screaming]
Hey, nice knees. Oh,
>> thank you. They're my [laughter] mother's.
mother's.
>> And the flash shirt is what? Because
you're going to run really fast.
>> No, the flash shirt is because it's
Friday, but it's nice when things work
out. [laughter]
>> Where's your heart rate monitor?
>> I don't have one.
>> What about your pedometer?
>> Don't have one.
>> You have telematics in your shoes
connected to an iPod?
>> Uh, no.
>> What? Well, what do you do? You just go
out there and gamble about like a bunny?
You know, I just run till I'm hungry and
[laughter]
>> Why are you doing that?
>> It's good to stretch your muscles before
you run.
>> All right.
>> All right. Let's uh start with a toe touch.
>> Okay, you do it.
>> I am doing it.
>> Oh, wow. Good job. Okay. Um, can you do this?
this?
>> We'll never know.
>> Okay. Let's just uh warm up on the run. Okay.
Okay.
>> Okay. Let's go.
>> Yeah. I've been reading up on
biomechanics. I I think you'll be
>> Oh my god. Are you okay?
>> I think so.
>> Let me help you up.
>> OH, SHELDON. [laughter]
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL any better,
Thursday is no longer cruciferous
vegetable night.
>> Buddy, I I know it all feels
overwhelming right now, but I promise
you things will settle down.
>> Hey, Spenny Hill. No. Why? I wanted to
show her my latest creation. I give you
Wow, Amy, you look amazing.
>> I like you better the way you were.
But she looks beautiful.
Classic lines, colors that complement
her skin tone, and hair that goes from
office to on the town in minutes. >> [laughter]
>> [laughter]
>> I don't care. Put it back.
>> I like the way I look.
>> Shouted. That was really rude.
>> I'm sorry. Amy is the one constant I can
count on. And now she's changing.
>> It's just a haircut and some clothes.
>> No, it's the last straw. I can't take anymore.
>> [applause]
>> Can you believe it? They finally fixed
>> This is a nightmare.
>> What's with him?
>> He won a Nobel Prize and his wife looks amazing.
amazing.
>> [laughter]
>> How did you get down here?
>> The elevator. It's really fast.
>> I I need to be alone right now. Don't
try to follow me.
>> All right. You need a ride?
All this change is just too much. Now
the reporters, the attention at work,
and now even Amy's changed.
Slow down.
>> I'm playing a drinking game. Every time
you say the word change, I take a slug.
>> Are you going to be able to drive me home?
home?
>> Not unless you change a subject.
>> [laughter]
>> You know, you're the only person who
could win the biggest prize in science
and still be upset about it.
>> It's just all the times I thought about
winning. I never thought about how it
would affect my life.
>> I'm sorry. I'm genuinely concerned about
your liver.
>> Fine. I'll stop playing.
>> You know, you go on and on about wanting
things to stay the same, but you've
changed a lot since I met you.
>> Oh, you are a mean drama.
I'm serious. You have a ton of friends.
You got married, moved into a new
apartment. You wore a baseball hat that
one time. Heck, you've had sex almost as
[laughter] >> More.
>> More.
>> Well, by this many,
>> you dog.
>> It [laughter] was the Avengers trailer. >> Oh.
>> Oh.
>> You know, I've grown, too. I used to be
the bartender back there.
>> That's true. Then now there is a
completely different woman who botched
my drink order. How hard is 65% Coke 35%
Diet Coke?
>> Well, judging by the look on her face,
>> But I do take your point. You know,
you're also married. You have a
successful career. You no longer dress
like you're trying to attract sailors by
the warf. [laughter]
So guess the only thing that actually
stays the same is that things are always changing.
changing. >> Interesting.
>> Interesting.
>> So you're saying the inevitability of
change might be a universal constant.
>> Well, there's a little more to it than
that, but yeah, sure.
>> Oh, hey, look. That's Bernardet.
>> I can't tell you how many times Dr.
Fowler was going to give up. And I would
say to her, Amy, as your best friend,
I'm not gonna let you quit.
>> Okay, I'm drinking again. [clears throat]
[clears throat]
>> I'll join you, waitress. 95% Hawaiian
punch, 5% vodka.
>> Let me tell you about this time Mr.
Nobel laurate wanted olive.
>> THIS IS A GOOD ONE.
You know, I like the way my hair looks.
I'm done tiptoeing around him.
>> Well, we're all guilty of it. But why?
>> Cuz we were afraid to upset him, which
happens anyway.
>> Well, that's over. I'm I'm done enabling
him. Like, this is his spot. And and and
and the thermostat has to be set to his
comfort level, even though he doesn't
even live here anymore. And I'm always chilly.
>> Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
time? >> Yes.
>> Yes.
To accommodate children. And then what
what about this this thing? Why is it
here? I'll tell you why. Because it was
here when I moved in and for no earthly
reason, he forbade me to touch it. Well,
if you don't like it, get rid of it and
put it in the closet.
[laughter]
What do you think? Want to give it a try?
>> Well, you know, the elevator did work
when I moved into the building, so going
up and down the stairs was a change,
which means this would actually be a
return to the status quo. But conversely,
>> this is wild. You know, we're both down
luck. Maybe you and I should try to get
a place together.
>> There is no reason to leave here. This
is great. Everyone's nice. It's
comfortable. If all goes according to
plan, this is my retirement home.
Wouldn't you feel better about yourself
if you were more independent?
>> Better than I feel in their steam
You see, I'm doing this so I can stop
being spoiled and, you know, grow as a person.
person.
>> Good for you. This sandwich has $6 worth
[laughter]
>> Don't you even feel a little bad
sponging off your friends? Hey, look. I
went to art college. I tried to make it
as a graphic artist, comic book artist,
and you know what I got for my efforts?
I'm not kidding. You can see my heart beating.
beating.
>> Well, no offense, but I didn't go to art
school. I have a PhD in astrophysics.
>> Oh, great. It'll be easier for you to
look up at the stars without a roof over
>> Hey, you ready for lunch?
>> One sec.
>> Is that the prototype drive system for
the HiG rover?
>> No. Bernardet got me a Fitbit so she can
track how much I'm exercising.
That'll teach her to care about your health.
health.
>> Yeah. I can't wait to see the look on
her face when I die young. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> When was the last actual exercise you got?
got?
>> The other day when she tried to put that
Fitbit on me and I ran away from her.
>> According to a recent study, simply
thinking about exercise, even while
sitting still, can have physical
benefits. For all you know, I could be
exercising right now.
>> Are you?
>> Nah, I'll do it tomorrow. Wouldn't
be the worst thing if we were more active.
active.
>> I think I'm getting a runner's hike. >> Howie,
>> Howie,
>> what's up?
>> Why does your Fitbit say you ran 174
miles yesterday? [laughter]
and hold. Three, two,
one. Very good.
Now, let's try warrior two
and hold. [laughter]
I've read that there are great yogis who
have such mastery over their bodies,
they can draw water in through their genitals.
genitals. [laughter]
>> Yeah. Well, I don't think we're going to
>> Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink
a milkshake without getting brain freeze.
freeze. [laughter]
[laughter]
How did she get you to do yoga?
>> Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
[laughter]
>> Okay, show me on God.
Good. Knees bent, slightly over the toe,
nonsword hand up for balance. Oh, I am
going to feel this tomorrow.
Okay, the first move is called an
advance. You move your front foot
forward, heel to toe, back foot follows.
So front foot forward, heel to toe, back
foot follows. Now you twai. Advance
and advance and advance.
This is easy. I didn't need to wear a cup.
cup.
[laughter] Good. This next move is
called a retreat. Step back. Back foot
first. Toe to heel. Front foot follows.
On three.
>> Excuse me, Barry.
>> Yes. When can I stab one of my friends? [laughter]
>> In fencing, we don't call it a stab, we
call it a touch. Uh,
>> yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to
touch one of my friends, I'll get called
into human resources.
Okay, on three. Koopa and Kuthwa Powi
advance. The other two with tweet. One,
two, three.
Very good. Switch it up. One, two, three.
three.
Switch again. One, two, three. Excuse me.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. [laughter]
Yeah. Okay. Thanks.
And one, two, three. [cheering]
>> You know, downward facing dog comes from
the Sanskrit phrase ado mukha savasana.
Oh, that's beautiful. What does it mean?
>> Downward-f facing dog.
>> Yeah, I guess they don't have Sanskrit
for butts up and heads down.
>> Mro Sutra if it involves butts. There's
a word for it. [snorts] [laughter]
[laughter]
>> I thought we were getting breakfast
before work.
>> Oh, right. Sorry.
>> It's my fault. I asked Penny to do yoga
with me.
>> Yeah, if you want, I can get ready in 5 minutes.
minutes.
>> It's cute that you think that.
>> Don't worry about it. Hey, can I ask a
favor? Would you mind taking Cinnamon
for a walk?
>> Sure. You're living here for free. I
guess I owe you.
>> Bye, Cinnamon. Be a good girl.
>> Yeah. Bye, sweetie. >> Bye.
>> Bye.
>> So, Mr. Cooper, you're looking for a job.
job.
>> A menial job. [laughter]
>> Why, thank you for noticing.
I'm meanial employee of the month.
>> Do you have a particular field in mind?
>> I do. For thousands of years, the lowest
classes of the human race have spent
their lives laboring to erect monuments
under the lash of their beds until
finally they dropped down and became one
with the dust through which they trudged.
trudged.
>> No.
[laughter]
>> You didn't really type.
>> I didn't really have to.
>> So, how about construction?
>> Oh, that would be good. sawing,
hammering, eating out of a lunch pale as
my workingclass fellows and I sit
perched precariously on a girder high
above the metropolis.
>> No, no. This is putting up sheetrock at
a housing project in Roseme.
>> I can do that. >> Good.
>> Good.
>> One question. >> Yes.
>> Yes.
>> What's sheetrock?
>> Moving on. [laughter]
>> How about doing deliveries for a florist?
florist?
>> That seems acceptable. Do you have your
own car?
>> I don't drive.
>> Of course you don't.
Mr. Cooper, let me just ask you a
question. What was your last job?
>> Senior theoretical particle physicist at
Caltech focusing on M theory or in
layman's terms, string theory.
>> I see.
Thanks for coming by.
>> Sure. So, how can we help?
>> Well, I know more women are buying
comics than ever, but for some reason, I
I can't get them in here.
>> All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
far?
>> Uh, I I I've been stocking more female
oriented titles in the bathroom. I
folded the end of the toilet paper into
a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting
[laughter]
>> Really? in a comic book store.
>> Oh, don't worry. I I I've got a camera
right up here so I could [laughter]
watch from the counter. Make sure guys
Anyways, so what do I got to do to to
get you in the door?
>> Well, for starters, you might want to
rethink some of this artwork. I mean,
this woman's actually on a leash like a dog.
dog. >> [laughter]
>> [laughter]
>> Well, you don't know the backstory.
Maybe she kept jumping up on the couch. [laughter]
>> Have you thought about advertising
directly to females? >> Okay.
>> Okay.
Well, all right. What if I put up a sign
in the window that said, "Women, come
in. Don't be afraid. [laughter]
Hey, have you read the online reviews
for this place?
>> The internet's so negative, I try to
avoid it.
>> All right. Well, Heather H says, "The
owner stared at me the whole time and
Kelly M says, "The creepy guy who runs
it asked me out, then called himself
stupid before I could say no." [laughter]
[laughter]
Jessica K says, "I told the weird owner
that I liked his shirt. He took it off
All right. I'm not saying it's true, but
let's let's consider for a moment that
possibly I'm the problem. >> Yeah,
>> Yeah,
>> you can say it.
>> Fine. But I mean, what can I do? I get
so nervous around women.
>> Well, you're talking to us now. I mean,
you don't seem nervous.
>> Well, that's cuz I'm doing that trick
>> By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
Do you not hear how creepy that sounds? It
It
>> was a joke.
>> Was he?
>> Nah, I'm still doing it.
>> Okay, don't be offended, but what went
>> Guess I assumed at this point in my life
I would be married or in a relationship
or even have a pet that didn't run away
or kill itself.
It really happened.
>> I can't say for sure, but I swear that
rabbit looked me right in the eye before
it hopped in front of that car.
>> Anyway, the longer I'm alone, the more
desperate I get. >> Stuart,
>> Stuart,
believe it or not, I understand.
You know, before I met Sheldon, I was
alone for a really long time. I was so
desperate for people to like me. When I
met these guys, it took everything in my
Okay, we're all feeling it. Yes, I'll go
out with you. [laughter]
>> Stuart took that rejection like a pro.
>> Well, he knew he was on the breast cam.
>> I don't have much experience turning men
down. It wasn't so much fun. Um, you get
used to it. Some guys you have to turn
down over and over.
>> And sometimes we marry them anyway.
>> I get it. And still my room. We haven't
really made it yours.
>> Thank you.
>> Which is why I got you this pink Power Ranger.
>> Put it anywhere you like.
>> Okay. But you may feel some discomfort.
>> I'm kidding. I want you to feel at home
here. Decorate it any way that makes you
happy. Do you really mean that? I
>> really do.
>> Great. And just so you know, I'm not
getting rid of all your stuff.
>> Yeah. What are you keeping?
>> That candle and you. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> What about my robot?
>> Okay, open your eyes and see your new room.
room. [laughter]
I know I went a little overboard. We can
always dial it back.
>> No, no, no, no, no. It's It's important
to me that you have the bedroom you want.
want.
>> Oh, that means so much. I love you.
>> Just hiding some stuff in your closet.
Don't tell Penny. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> I question your premise. How is a new
suit going to prevent me from passing
out in front of a ballroom full of
people? It'll give you confidence. You
know, sometimes when I'm feeling all
stressed out about something, I go out
and buy a cute top or a fun skirt and I
have a whole new outlook on life.
>> Don't you eventually realize you're just
the same stressed out person and a cute
top or a fun skirt?
>> Yeah, that's when I buy shoes. [laughter]
[laughter]
Now, let's see what we've got. Ooh, this
is nice.
>> It's only one color.
>> Yes. So,
>> that's a lot of money for only one
color. [laughter]
>> Fine, why don't you pick out what you like?
like? >> H,
>> H,
>> No, you're wrong.
>> This is great. I had a suit like this
Okay, I think we have a winner. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> Where the hell did you find that?
>> In the prom department.
>> It's ridiculous.
>> Says the former member of the corn
queen's court.
>> Please just try this one on.
>> Okay, then anything I put on now is only
going to suffer in comparison. [laughter]
>> [cheering]
>> This is absurd. I look like a clown.
>> I was thinking without Sheldon, most of
us would have never met, but Penny would
still live across from him.
>> And with Leonard out of the picture, we
all know what that would mean.
>> Hey, Sheldon. >> Hello.
>> Hello.
[laughter]
>> Of course I'm doing laundry. Saturday
night is laundry night and I'm in a
laundry room. So I believe your
inference is justified.
>> My inference is justified. Sheldon, you
Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too,
because these clothes are so dirty.
Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who's
wearing them.
>> Okay, that's enough. >> Disagree.
>> Disagree. [laughter]
>> So, what do you think?
>> A tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be
concerned about. [laughter]
[laughter]
Please, Sheldon. I need you
>> to what? [laughter]
[laughter]
>> To take me.
>> I'm not taking you anywhere till you put
>> Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here,
>> Penny. For the thousandth time, I'm
saving myself for someone special. You
perhaps a cute, bespectical neuroscientist
neuroscientist
with hair the color of mud.
I think I know how to change your mind.
>> That's enough.
[laughter]
>> How's it going, Sheldon?
>> Actually, much better.
>> Oh, good. Is the baby born yet?
>> I don't know. I just got back.
>> Where'd you go?
>> My mother asked me to get some towels. I
took advantage of the vague request and
[screaming]
>> Excuse me, I'm on the phone. [laughter]
Here's another one. Penny, if it weren't
for Sheldon, you never would have met
comic book legend Stan Lee. Great.
Well, at least Leonard Howard and I
would have always been friends.
>> Hey, how come Lyn never got an apartment together?
together?
>> We talked about it, but Howard was in a
pretty serious relationship with his mom.
mom.
>> I lived with her to save money.
>> Yeah, you didn't have to buy groceries
>> So, I guess if it weren't for me, you'd
still be living with her, huh?
>> Not exactly.
>> What do you mean not exactly? Well,
things would be a little different.
>> HOW WITH MY LUNCH? I'M STARVING. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> I know you're starving. The neighbors
know you're starving. THEY'RE STARVING.
PEOPLE IN AFRICA KNOW YOU'RE STARVING. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> THAT'S IT. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD.
>> WELL, YOU CLEANED OUT. I [screaming]
>> How is this any different?
>> You didn't let me finish. Here
you go, mother.
>> You're a good boy, HOWARD.
[laughter]
[laughter]
>> Tomato. Tomato. The important thing is
>> Hey, so how come you two didn't move in
together? This guy wanted a place of his
own because he was sure he was going to
be a ladies man.
>> Yeah, I was wrong.
But I do think you and I would have had
a great time. Come on, Leonard. Dinner.
>> Hang on. Why would I be fat?
You'd have no girlfriend to see you
naked. [laughter] You'd try to fill the
void with food. And I'm an enabler who
wants deep fried a pancake.
>> Why can't you be fat, too?
>> I think that's still half a cake from breakfast.
breakfast. [laughter]
[laughter]
Hey guys, [laughter]
>> what are you doing? >> I
>> I
Click on any text or timestamp to jump to that moment in the video
Share:
Most transcripts ready in under 5 seconds
One-Click Copy125+ LanguagesSearch ContentJump to Timestamps
Paste YouTube URL
Enter any YouTube video link to get the full transcript
Transcript Extraction Form
Most transcripts ready in under 5 seconds
Get Our Chrome Extension
Get transcripts instantly without leaving YouTube. Install our Chrome extension for one-click access to any video's transcript directly on the watch page.
