This content is a conversation with actress and author Lauren Graham, discussing her career, writing process, inspirations, and reflections on art, connection, and life during challenging times.
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hi everyone it's amanda from the indigo
live team here to talk to you tonight
with some fun guests let me just see if
i can find our great guest for tonight
i'm looking for you guys already know
this I'm looking for Lauren Graham I
think I see R see hey Lauren how are you
hi good good just their comments perfect
hi hi so how are you see you this got
pretty smoothly connecting like this we
did it I think I was live on the penguin
Random House Canada for a couple silent
minutes there you go
this free free content oh I just want to
give you a short introduction some of
you know Lauren from her role on the
Gilmore Girls but Lauren's resume is
actually quite diverse
she has three books one fiction to
nonfiction countless credits on film and
television theater journalism you've
done a lot of different things and today
she's here to chat with us a little bit
some about your books I have questions
about your books I have questions about
all kinds of things so I hope you're
spend a lot of time there and and just
missing being in bookstores and being
again I know I know it's no surprise
that in certain countries some of the
first businesses to open our bookstores
and people just seem so relieved to be
able to get back to their books and just
there's something very normalizing about
wandering around looking at books yes
you what are you reading right now what
do you have it your how many books do
you read up one so you like one in every
room type person or are you single
minded I have
I won't show you my bedside table but
it's stacks and stacks
I always remember as a kid my father had
like a huge sack of books by his bedside
and I always thought it was so strange
like why wouldn't you just read one book
and and then go on but now I'm like
sort of that person I just read um the
glass hotel Oh fantastic oh really yes
oh and your father so so original and I
don't know it was just really moving and
I was inspired by the writing I I just
read my dark Vanessa oh darling
heroin good worried I wasn't sure I was
ready to continue through with some of
the plot but Nana really kept me going
that was a gorgeous book and what an
ending don't give away of course no oh
well we do that somebody just measured
messaged me that they have a habit of
reading the end the last page of a book
which I just can't imagine why you would
do that to yourself but in this case it
was my book she was I guess saying that
she was gratified by the ending so now
she could go back and start it from the
beginning so whatever but the other
thing I have right now is that big
volume the best of Nora Ephron the most
which has fantastic and and kind of is
I'm turning and working on two things
right now and one is another book of
essays and so I've turned to her essays
which so many for the New York from New
Yorker oh yeah other publications are
just so New York specific and that's my
inspiration right now
do you ever be friendly wits do you read
her her as they haven't oh man laughs
that looked funny Jeff oh really really
worth it I the title of her collection
I'll get it to you after but you can't
remember it right now but okay man
really really good nice uh one of the
questions I wanted to
talk to you about it it's two of your
biggest roles have been as single moms
and you mentioned your dad earlier he's
actually the person who you said in one
of your articles was a real inspiration
for that relationship that you have with
your children when you play these roles
on television can you tell us a little
bit about your dad and what your
relationship is like now um my dad is
very funny guy and loves books and and
kind of gave that to me and we for a
chunk of time it was kind of just the
two of us and kind of by necessity he
just took me everywhere treated me like
you know not not not as another adult
but just kind of brought me along in in
this very matter-of-fact way there
wasn't a lot of coddling and I loved it
too I was very like I'm writing I'm
working on an essay right now now called
light light neglect what it was like but
but for whatever my particular
personality was it just really suited me
and and I just liked being on my own and
liked being going to do grown-up stuff
and yeah so my dad's just a very close
friend in a way and but and that never
that never jeopardized his authority
like I I'm very much wanted him to be
proud of me and pleased and and so it
wasn't like so that's what I would think
of in both of those characters but
especially Lorelei there's a fun in that
relationship there's a there's a real
true they're each other's favorite
person and I just I knew what that felt
like for ya for a great part of my
childhood and we're still very close we
know it never really went through and a
couple like teenage fits but we never
went through like a you know tough time
do you share books you read the same way
the two of you yes we were just texting
today because I sent him
I sent him it's called the big goodbye
it's that it's it's the making of
Chinatown by the author who wrote Fosse Oh
Oh
on which the series was based I'm
blanking on his names I love Sam Lawson
I think it's his name I would read I
don't even care if I'm interested in the
subject just anything by him my dad
really liked that and and then I just
turned him on to the Robert Galbraith
books oh yeah those yes he'll have a few
now yes he'll have a few but that's
people who don't know it's JK Rowling
writing under a pseudonym and it's an
adult series it's the kind of a thriller
series and there's they're so juicy and
just really fun yeah she's so talented
yeah and so when you're doing your
writing what type of writer are you are
you like in a dome of silence I'm the
same place all the time or even a cafe
where there's lots of noise and activity
what's like your ideal writing scenario
I like it's had to be just make it work
because so much especially last year I
was in Vancouver a lot I was working and
flying back and forth I I kind of have
it down now although I don't always do
it correctly but we have a new puppy and
part of that is has forced me to be more
organized and also get up early early so
I get up and I try to work out first and
then I sit down between like 10 and 12
and okay I give myself a little time
it's very it's very much like like
there's so much of raising this puppy
that reminds me of how I how hard it is
sometimes to focus because it's like
she's got to get it out first she's
gotta eat some sticks and bees and stuff
so hopefully Nepalese and and then
should like you can kind of focus but
that's me I'll like give myself 10
minutes to just you know do whatever on
the computer and then I've tried
everything I try a word count I've tried
you know just it's an amount of time and
one thing I thought was really
interesting a writer friend of mine said
we all have to stop when we sit down
saying look it's a it's the worst it's
so hard it's you know it's torture like
all those kinds of ways we tell
ourselves you know you're we talk
ourselves out of this being what it
should be which is at least at times a
somewhat joyous or flow you know an
experience of flow or creativity or
something that's positive and that's
been really helpful but I I'm actually
working on two things and that's also
been interesting because if I don't feel
like you would think it's harder but for
however my mind works if I don't feel
like working on one it feels like kind
of fun too and work on the other and so
I'm sort of enjoying doing both I guess
yes it's a little bit of a mind trick
right that you can tell yourself well
this other one is way more interesting
to me right now so I'll do this I think
we all try to kid make people feel like
it's a choice you know it makes you feel
like I love options which i think is
important when you hit a wall and that
feels like such a very different thing
than some of the big productions that
you've been involved in it would just be
a huge amount of people involved massive
team work where you're just kind of
integrated into a full cast and
production team that's one type of
creative work and then you have this
other kind of more solitary self
propelled writing that you have to do
and creative work do you have a
preference to one over the other I two
things one is I worked with a chef who
was a guest star on Gilmore Girls on the
revival named Roy Troy who who is such a
great guy I love his food but he said
you know he'd never been on a set before
and he said he said you know it it
reminds me of being in the kitchen
because it's a very solitary I'm in
charge of what I'm in charge of but we
all have to work
together so I love that and especially
on these last two jobs I did in
Vancouver I'd forgotten what an
incredible support system and family
truly if you end it with a great group
which both of these jobs were it gives
you so much it gives you so much just
love and community and and that's really
wonderful but I do also feel that in a
time like this I it makes me so thankful
that I have something that I can work on
that feels productive and feels like you
know I'm still connected to the
professional world and I feel really
grateful to to have that other
possibility it's been one of the things
I'd really loved watching in these very
homebound times is how quickly a lot of
the cultural institutions kind of put
their hands up to say we want you to
stay connected you know here's a virtual
tour of our museum and here's a free
concert and here's access to all of this
art and there's something that feels a
bit like a bomb - being alone when you
have access to all of this art and and I
wonder if that's going to carry forward
after this if that kind of access and
connection is something that once we're
on the other side of this whatever
version of on the other side looks like
will there be a deeper connection to
these artistic institutions because they
really they came into our homes with us
which I think it's just been amazing
well how many people do you know who are
you know been rewatching The Sopranos or
binge-watching something or you know
it's if we didn't have I what I hope is
that it reminds those in charge of money
that you know how how important the arts
are and yeah and and also you know just
just that arts are we wouldn't have you
know here you see all these
companies worried about running out of
content you know running out of shows
for people because yeah it's really been
such a it's been a small bright spot in
a yeah and in that idea that you know
there's some nostalgia like a comfort
that comes from watching things that
you've seen before
there's dedicating time to it having the
time and the ability to do it right now
and I guess all these streaming services
make it so possible to get access to
this are you are you binge watching
anything right now or what is something
that you watched beginning to end
recently we are a hundred and fifty
years old and we love jeopardy and one
of my Wow well it's it's you know these
are just some of our your other snow
shows too but part of our ritual is
because we're competitive and my
boyfriend tonight so we and and and we
both have bizarre pockets of trivia that
are in our brains and so that that's
like that's sort of like the you know
prelude to the to the evenings viewing
we've been hopping around and kind of
trying new things we watch some of
Hollywood we watch there's this new show
on Amazon Prime we switched the first
episode of upload and and then we've
kind of been getting into like older
just went through a bunch of Kevin
Costner movies from the 90s you know
like just kind of some I think that
nostalgia for just kind of a simple plot
you know you know who done it kind of
yeah that and the feels comforting
somehow and I think you know as I've
been doing some reading and in preparing
to speak with you a lot of people who
could have never encountered the Gilmore
Girls when it was on air have
encountered it in this streaming world
and you've and the whole world has
connected with the new generation that
would not have been possible I think in
the same
way before the streaming the streaming
service and and that's so interesting
cuz that's a brand new connection for
your books as well right like a whole
new generation yes well the show the
show always or it had started to have
sort of a the next generation was
watching it and that was bizarre enough
because I know you know I grew up
watching certain like the Brady Bunch or
something which was a show that wasn't
on when I was watching any reruns
yeah it just you'd ever know it had
never occurred to me that something that
I technically was finished would live on
it's very and I have now it's I have two
dear friends whose whose daughters I've
known for since they were born who just
got into it and it's so strange because
now they're now they like treat me
differently and I'm like one of them got
like the corduroy jacket with the fleece
inside like Laurel I had and like it's
no sweet but I also feel bad that you
know they can't just I can't just that
can't just exist for them in the
fictional space that then they have to
you know see me in real life because I
don't know whatever so that you could
never predict it and yes streaming
changed everything and enamine it
changed not just for my show but it
changed how we view things now people
wait you know to until they have a bunch
of episodes to watch and it's you but I
guess again
another I think we're lucky in this time
to have but I'd like to go to a
restaurant but is there a show that you
would like to see a reunion season for
or a reunion show something that you
love selfishly selfishly Parenthood I I
think would be you know because part of the
the
part of when when the Gilmore Girls
revival came up it still felt like this
was a trend that was potentially gonna
go away and now it just feels like
something people expect or look forward
to is you know a show ends and then they
get a movie or they get a you know you
I'm that way with Downton Abbey or you
know who did you movie you know it's
just these characters are alive for you
and you want you want to know what
happens then you want to see them but I
do think also because it's such a great
group of people and on the one hand I
think Parenthood had a really lovely
ending so there's always that thing
where you don't want to you don't even
hamper with it yeah but that would be
you know that would be really fun and
then maybe do I want more sex in the
city maybe I'm just trying to think of
shows that I've enjoyed that
you know that feel like they could
continue on I don't know the last show I
watched fully like all the episodes was
homeland I don't think that sure what
how about a book like for me I've always
wondered and I know there's like fan
fiction out there that like you
sometimes take these these characters
and continual eyes for them like Pride
and Prejudice I think of you know it's
been written how many more times do you
know just get attached to these
characters and you're not ready to let
them go and I love it when the fans just
take it into their own hands or like
we'll bring it we'll just we're gonna do
it is there a book that if you could get
a sequel to that you would like risk
quarantine to go get well I you know I
think of like comforting books that I go
I've gone back to as a kid I was a giant
Lea reader I for me you can't make
enough Bridget Jones like I just I love
that character I love that world and but
and I think what has been done both in
the books and and the movies is so great
but that's character I love you know all
carrie fisher's stuff you know like a
postcards from the edge kind of reunion
it's just on my mind because my friend
has been reading it for the first time
but um you know I don't know if you know
these Betty Smith books she wrote A Tree
Grows in Brooklyn oh okay
was one of just my favorite books as a
kid and in some ways she not that
character but she did keep bringing she
kept writing about the same kind of
young woman in New York but that that
book meant a lot to me I would like to
see what happened to that character it
is something again in the like that
comfort of rereading something there's
something kind of magical about
storytelling that even though you know
exactly what's going to happen the magic
is not the plot right thematic is
something about being immersed in that
world and it's something really special
once you unlock it and you find the
right book that just brings you into
that well it's how I got into the JK
Rowling pseudonym books because late to
the game
I discovered this kid named Harry Potter
I don't know if you've heard of him and
I was like I was like going around
people like guys these books are so good
people like yeah no but they're so good
and that that's a fictional world that's
actually spin something I would reread
those books and and part what I've been
working out too is the movies because I
kind of really the movies missed me too
I just didn't think it was for me and I
am really getting a lot out of enjoyment
out of it yeah it is an amazing well
populated world that you can just kind of
of
disappear into again race you feel like
you fully understand the geography and
the physics of this whole world and it's
kind of a magical place to disappear to
it's magical and I'm fascinated by that
and in terms of almost the the rules of
a magic world that had it so it seems
like she had she knew all the books you
know she knew where it was gonna go or
at least some key things are if you've
ever seen notebooks she keeps like
incredibly intricate what happens to who
when and yeah I just sit down and I go
like I don't work like that so I'm
really drawn into that and I feel like
the first reading you just drawn into
the story and almost as more
archaeologically or something more
forensically I'd like to go back and
kind of think about you know how she did
and it's remarkably invisible right like
it all that hard work that she does to
keep things intact
is invisible in the reading right and
sometimes you I this is a very
controversial opinion but I feel like
Tolkien is very difficult for me and I'm
so aware of the work and the language
and the poetry and the song everything
that kind of went into that world that
it feels like quite an undertaking to to
begin the journey where's Harry Potter
feels like it's very inviting and you're
welcomed in and it's amazing that you
did that work on the outside but it
feels just very natural and organic as
you're experiencing it I agree what when
people picture you I think they feel
very connected to you I think the roles
that you played in people's homes you
came right onto their screens and their
homes and they feel like they know you
and I think they imagine you with a
pottery mug in your hand full of coffee
under a blanket on a couch in front of a
fireplace and that is kind of where
they've like pinned you and that's who
you are how is it different how do you
picture yourself how close are you to
that character that you played and and
how familiar is that to
I am extremely close to to the way to
the way Lorelei speaks and views the
world I feel like it's it's it and
therefore close to its creator like I I
think what the most best thing you can
hope for as an actor is and a very hard
thing to find is a character with a
really unique voice that doesn't stand
who doesn't sound like anybody else and
it isn't it isn't imitating you know
like you could never have another I feel
like that Zooey Deschanel character on a
new girl like you're very it was so the
voice of the show and the voice of that
actress is so wonderful was so unique
it's easy for things that come after to
feel like we want it to be like new girl
like that kind of you know so I would
say the difference is in both of those
characters in Lorelei and in Sarah
there's a kind of carefree quality and
that I as a person and quite driven and
worked hard to to make to hopefully you
know make it look easy
yeah you know people used to say to me
about Gilmore Girls you know especially
must be so much fun all that you know
language and it was fun and it had a
kind of the language kind of carried you
but it was quite technical
you know quite happen and I never wanted
people to think about that but I mean
you know just this year kind of volume
you know listening right like there is
such musicality to what was happening in
that script that it required a lot of
orchestration and I imagine that's right
but like music you know it's you didn't see
see
her sole employee the piece and that you
know that that's as you should and it's
one of the reasons I've talked about
this before but to me you know one of
the reasons I I'm not on Instagram for
example though my I have an agent who
calls me like literally once a week and
he's like Instagram this week you'll do
it right but is I like you know I like
some separation between the professional
and the private
I like it I don't want to know too much
about you know what goes on behind the
scenes or like I guess it's wonderful to
feel close to a character and I want
people to have that without me ruining
it by I don't know being on Lorelai or
something you know but but I could not
have a really especially television you
can't you seldom are playing something
that's far far far away from you it just
it doesn't it reads as false you know
and so in the casting normally
somebody's playing something that which
is you know something they naturally
have some qualities and I said this to
Jane levy when we were doing Zoey's
extraordinary playlist in Vancouver you
know you hope once in your career that
you got a part that I couldn't imagine
anybody with Jane playing that part you
know and that's how I felt when I read
especially Gilmore Girls I was like I
can't imagine anybody else there's got
to be like you know and then I got to do
it for so long and then do it again this
I I'm so grateful
one of the quotations that I love from
your your commencement speech book that
you you've kind of you you wrote in
conclusion don't worry about it is that
the success parts of your
I look good to others but the best parts
are actually just all the simple daily
experiences and I think that is
something that may be related to
Instagram or related to all these social
media platforms is that there's like
those big successful parts that you post
and you talk about but really I think
you know all of the things that really
matter to us are happening behind the
scenes right now a lot of our graduates
there's a lot of thoughts going out to
them they're having such a unique
experience of this kind of benchmark
moment that I think so many of us share
the same experience of the gown and the
cap and hot gymnasiums and long long
speeches but there's some sort of rite
of passage that happens in that moment
we're asking all of our authors that
we're chatting with over the next few
weeks if they have a special message to
graduates in this time that are
homebound and not experiencing that same
kind of ritual that so many of us got to
experience well I'll say a controversial
thing which is wasn't that great I mean
you know like this rowing
I mean it's personally in that speech a
game I tried to say you know on I I
would never have predicted that I would
be the person giving the graduation
speech to my class you know it's my
school years and years later you just
kind of don't know and and it's and so
yes you're at a threshold and it's such
a loss you know to not be able to
celebrate all all that has been
accomplished but it's it it really and
I'm lucky to have gotten to a place in a
career I wanted and had enough success
to go oh it doesn't really feel like
anything like it feels like something
you know for a minute or certainly I'm
the day of work has become the most
important thing you know the what it how
did I feel today who do I have around me
what connection can I make you know with
my friend or my my partner are you know
it really is
that's what is a value and and and when
it's it's not the list you have at the
end of the life it really isn't it's
like who care you know it doesn't it's
it's these these days are important but
I always think of my my best friends
from college got married what a few
years on school and I couldn't go to the
wedding because I was I was working and
and it's very small wedding so I felt
terrible that I couldn't be there and
she said she said I'm sorry that you're
gonna miss this one day but it's more
important to me that I have your
friendship all the other days and and I
I just thought like what kind things she
was like yes it's a big day but you know
either with the coffee on Tuesday value
ice continued securely in conclusion
don't worry about it to whatever degree
yeah try not to it doesn't doesn't move
the needle you know you might as well
not worry and make life right now
especially as comforting and it's kind
as you possibly can you know and and try
to take advantage if possible of what
you were saying you know exposure to art
or you know trying to be creative trying
to find some grace in this time and you
know make more banana bread God knows
like you can get the flower you know you
should you don't need that much I'm my
banana bread has like five
bananas in it and like not that much
else well thank you so much for your
time this evening Lauren it's been such
a fun chat and I'm really looking
forward to seeing your next two projects
and what they are and learning more
about them and thank you for your final
thoughts for those graduates and joining
us at indigo thank you so much you for
inviting me here today and this I
learned yet a new technology like never
done this before
welcome to the dark side yeah thank you
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