0:00 many years ago in a story I just made up
0:02 I was architecting some highly scalable
0:03 infrastructure when a staff engineer
0:05 walked into my cubicle and said hey
0:07 buddy that's a cute vs code theme you've
0:09 got there oh thanks it's a synthwave
0:11 with power mode enable before I could
0:13 explain more though he cut me off and
0:14 said you see that bug on line 234 right
0:16 I said no that's impossible sir we have
0:18 100 test coverage on this code well I'm
0:20 gonna pull it up in neovim on my Arch
0:22 desktop and uh I'll send you a PR for
0:25 that five minutes later I get a
0:26 notification and slack that the pr came
0:28 through all tests are passing with 469
0:30 lines of code removed and just one
0:32 commit message that read optimize sub
0:35 optimal code I then looked out the
0:38 window and saw him driving away in his
0:39 Tesla it was at that moment that I
0:41 realized I had been flexed upon if
0:42 you're a programmer who's feeling down
0:44 one of the best ways to boost your ego
0:45 is to flex on other Developers for
0:47 programmers there's only two states of
0:49 being imposter syndrome or superiority
0:51 complex in today's video you'll learn
0:53 how to become the best programmer the
0:55 world has ever seen in your own mind by
0:57 looking at 10 practical ways to flex on
0:59 your friends and colleagues first up
1:00 we've got the complexity Flex the
1:02 world's greatest programmer once said in
1:04 idiot admire's complexity a genius
1:06 admires Simplicity luckily most people
1:08 are not Geniuses think of how stupid the
1:10 average person is and then realize half
1:12 of them are stupider than that so what
1:14 you can do is take something simple like
1:16 a perfectly functional JavaScript
1:18 function then add typescript to it while
1:20 preaching the virtues of end-to-end type
1:21 safety from there refactor it into an
1:23 abstract Factory Singleton adapter
1:25 decorator proxy and when nobody
1:27 understands that just tell them they've
1:28 never seen clean code before and should
1:30 have read the gang of forbuck making
1:31 them think you're some kind of
1:32 programming God the CTO who doesn't know
1:34 how to code will be so impressed that
1:36 you'll get a huge raise and that brings
1:37 us to the money Flex the amount of money
1:39 you make is exactly tied to the amount
1:41 of value that you bring to the world the
1:42 level one money Flex is the junior
1:44 developer making 50k a year who shows
1:46 off to his old colleagues at Arby's who
1:47 are only making 45k a year the dude in
1:49 the cubicle next to him though did a
1:51 better job negotiating a salary and
1:52 makes 225k a year that dude's got a
1:55 cousin though who works at Netflix who
1:56 flexes on him for making 900k a year
1:58 that dude's landlord though was was one
2:00 of the first engineers at Uber who has a
2:02 net worth of 25 mil who now flexes on
2:04 social media about being a genius
2:05 technology investor but then he gets
2:07 flexed on by the billionaire crypto bro
2:09 who made all his money by rug pulling
2:11 all the level 1 flexors the circle of
2:12 life is truly beautiful if you subscribe
2:14 to the link in this post I may get a
2:16 commission I'm not quite a billionaire
2:17 yet so the way I like to flex is by
2:19 owning YouTube premium as a lazy
2:20 developer I'm obsessed with optimizing
2:22 my time and by owning premium I don't
2:24 have to watch ads on any YouTube videos
2:26 and I can download all the JavaScript
2:27 tutorials I want to watch offline when I
2:29 travel on top of that it provides access
2:31 to YouTube music so I can listen to Huey
2:33 Lewis in the news on repeat while I code
2:35 which actually saves me money because I
2:36 don't need to pay for other music
2:37 streaming services what's really awesome
2:39 though is that YouTube has allowed me to
2:41 offer you one month of YouTube premium
2:43 for free I've actually been paying for
2:44 it myself for years and it's well worth
2:46 it if you value your time but another
2:48 great way to demonstrate your Superior
2:50 value is with the bimflex when you use
2:52 Vim it elevates you to a higher plane of
2:54 Consciousness where you can look down
2:55 upon the poor lost Souls using tools
2:57 like vs code IntelliJ and emacs if
3:00 you're the real deal you won't even have
3:01 a mouse at your computer now normally
3:03 this is the point where I should make a
3:04 joke about not being able to exit Vim
3:06 but I've never really understood those
3:07 jokes because I don't even know how to
3:08 exit vs code but an even more potent
3:10 Flex is your operating system if you
3:12 want to tell people you're rich go with
3:13 a Macintosh and combine it with the
3:15 Apple Vision Pro to also tell people
3:17 that you're a clown real developers
3:18 though use Linux you can impress most
3:20 people by simply using Ubuntu but if you
3:22 really want to impress people you should
3:23 pay a bunch of money to IBM to use red
3:25 hat Enterprise Linux that's pretty
3:27 bowler but eventually you'll find
3:28 yourself alone at a urinal a man will
3:30 walk in he'll turn his head and look at
3:32 you then say these three words I use
3:34 Arch by the way you'll immediately feel
3:36 smaller like your distro is just not as
3:38 well endowed as you thought not to worry
3:39 though you're just getting flexed on by
3:41 someone who doesn't have a life who can
3:42 spend countless hours configuring their
3:44 OS everybody knows that the ultimate
3:46 distro is Windows because that tells
3:47 people that you actually have a life and
3:49 maybe even a girlfriend outside of
3:51 programming but nothing says I don't
3:52 have a life better than the GitHub Flex
3:54 if you don't have a GitHub commit
3:55 history that looks like this then you're
3:57 not a real programmer and you don't care
3:58 about open source and your profile
4:00 should have enough Awards and badges on
4:02 it to make you look like a North Korean
4:03 General you can achieve these badges by
4:05 flexing on other open source projects
4:07 the chainsaw PR Flex is a great way to
4:09 show the world that you're the top G of
4:11 JavaScript what you want to do is find
4:12 new small projects from Young
4:14 enthusiastic developers then Fork their
4:16 code and remove every line possible
4:18 while making sure that all the tests
4:19 still pass then send a vague pull
4:21 request explaining how you cleaned up
4:22 the code to use best practices if you
4:24 did it properly the project will soon be
4:26 abandoned because no programmer can face
4:27 that amount of flexing we're losing them
4:29 we're losing he's dying now that one is
4:32 kind of hard to pull off if you're a
4:33 terrible programmer but that shouldn't
4:34 hold you back from flexing anyway
4:36 there's an old saying that goes
4:37 something like those who can't code
4:38 become influencers but what you do is
4:40 pay your eight dollars to post on X
4:42 formerly known as Twitter then make
4:43 outrageous hot takes that nobody could
4:45 possibly agree with if you give advice
4:47 that so egregiously bad you might even
4:48 get a reply from Elon Musk himself which
4:50 you can then Flex about on your YouTube
4:51 channel and yes that is a real tweet
4:53 Elon and I are pretty much best friends
4:55 at this point now you should never take
4:56 technical advice from someone on Twitter
4:58 or YouTube but instead only take it
4:59 advice from people who Flex their past
5:01 experience if you've ever worked at a
5:03 Fan Company it gives you the privilege
5:04 to start every sentence with as an
5:06 ex-facebook engineer I recommend that
5:08 you make X bad decision working at a fan
5:10 company is like being in a special club
5:12 that everyone wants to get into even
5:13 though some people say they don't want
5:14 to because their moral compass is too
5:16 well calibrated but in reality they're
5:18 just hating because they didn't grind on
5:19 Lee code enough if I ever got a job at
5:21 Fang I would tattoo it on my forehead if
5:22 you're not in the club though another
5:24 way to flex as a web developer is with
5:25 your domains my GoDaddy account is more
5:27 valuable than my Robinhood account
5:29 domains aren't just for failed side
5:30 projects they're Investments that you'll
5:32 one day hand down to your grandkids like
5:33 best Dash SEO Dash backlink-tool.net is
5:37 a valuable asset that any developer
5:38 would love to get their hands on the
5:40 ultimate Flex a programmer can do though
5:41 is learn to farm the programmer who
5:43 blows up his computer and joins the
5:45 Amish is Invincible to all the flexes
5:47 we've looked at throughout this video as
5:48 he milks his cow and tends to his crops
5:50 his identity is no longer tied to these
5:52 superficial things like code quality
5:53 GitHub Stars likes followers and even
5:56 money as he looks at the spiderweb
5:57 reflecting the sun it reminds him of a
5:59 silicon ship he recognizes the inherent
6:01 intelligence that permeates all of
6:03 nature its beauty is so overwhelming
6:04 that he begins to cry in that moment
6:06 he's connected to all the people that
6:08 lived and died before him soon enough
6:09 he'll be dead and forgotten just like
6:11 them the complete insignificance of his
6:13 own existence is both terrifying and
6:15 liberating and it was at that moment
6:16 that he realized that the spider was
6:18 just flexing on him
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