"The Letters of Bernard Thorne" is a narrative-driven game that explores the profound impact of trauma, loss, and memory through the fragmented experiences of its protagonist, Bernard Thorne, a Vietnam War veteran grappling with PTSD and the consequences of his past actions.
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Welcome everybody to a game called The
Letters of Bernard Thorne. That might
mean nothing to you, but this is made by
the people who made Love Sam. And that
was one of the most amazing things I've
ever played on my YouTube channel. If
you want a feeling for what you're about
to get into, either go back and watch
that one now or watch it afterwards if
you want more stuff from these people.
Uh, but that game blew me away. So, I
was very excited when I found out that
they had a new game out. So, let's check
it out. I I don't know anything about
it. I like going into these ones.
>> Dad, it's Andrew.
>> Welcome back home.
>> I'm sorry I had to send Kate to pick you
up from the hospital. I I wanted to
drive you home myself, but it's my
24-hour shift today, so I need to be at
the station.
I'll be there tomorrow morning as soon
as work is over and uh from then on
we'll be officially moving in with you
whether you like it or not. So in the
meantime, let your daughter-in-law take
good care of you, okay? And that
please stay safe. Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa. Okay.
Oh, from okay. So, just from that little
intro and beginning, I'm assuming I'm a
man who is suffering from dementia or
Alzheimer's. Um, I actually don't know
what the difference is between those. I
just think they go hand in hand. So,
this is a good chance for me to educate
myself, but I'm assuming we're reading
his letters
going over his life or something like that.
that.
He dissolved my pill first.
Water soluble pain pill. Okay, maybe
not. Siri used to give me two of these.
Okay, I literally just took soluble
painkillers right before this video. I
Okay.
Hold to move the wheelchair. Release to
sit down.
Whoa. Okay,
>> Bernard, it's Kate. Uh, hope you had a
good sleep again. I'm sorry I had to
leave you alone for the night. I really
wanted to cancel today's night shift,
but changing the schedule is almost
impossible here. Anyway, I'm leaving
this voicemail to give you some updates.
First, I finished charging the door
remote. It's on the wardrobe next to
your bedroom door. And um come to think
of it, it may be a bit high for you, so
you might have to stand a bit to get it.
Sorry. Anyway, second, your new tablet
arrived. It's being charged in Andrew's
old room. He'll be there in just a few
hours. So, why don't you set it up while
you wait for him? And that's it. I'll
see you this afternoon. Okay. Bye. >> Okay.
>> Okay.
Got my sick ass wheelchair going on.
My old tablet. It broke when I fell down
Okay. Well, maybe I'm wrong about the
Alzheimer's dementia thing. Maybe it's
actually he was taking painkillers and
Okay, here we go. Diagnosis. Uh, patient
Bernard Thornne 73. Minor bruises from
falling downstairs. Sign of minor memory
loss possibly caused by concussion.
Above nominal amount of codine detected
in circulatory system.
Okay. Oh, we're in 2014.
Patient fell down the stairs along with
his electric wheelchair backward. Oof.
Though signs of physical trauma are
minor, there's a possibility of slight
memory loss. Patients blood tests show a
moderate amount of codine. So it is
highly advised to reduce patients pain
medication dosage and look out for
overdose symptoms such as shallow
breathing and hallucinations.
Okay. Can I stand? Not enough space to
stand up.
Whoa. Whoa.
Okay. So I can't stand for very long.
It controls the electric door openers
attached to the doors.
All right. How do I use it?
This looks like the house at the start
Bernard or Bernard. I don't know how
people would pronounce that. I would say
Bernard. Bernard. Your new tablet is
being charged in Andrew's old room. I
even kept the room bright for you. So,
all you need to do is just go in and
grab it, Kate. Okay.
Something's blocking this door.
Okay. Well, that's just unfortunate now,
This is a considerable amount of effort
for you.
I have to go up the attic. Oh my god. Am
No, I can't. I need more pain medication
to climb this. No, you don't. Bro, I
don't even know if the the pills I took
>> Dad, it's Andrew. Oh,
>> Bernard, it's Kate.
>> Dad, Andrew.
>> Okay, maybe I can go around it. It
didn't seem like I could. Oh, I can. Legend.
Legend.
>> Need light. Too dark. Need light. No,
no, no. Jesus Christ. Okay.
Important notice from Andrew Ginsup
Thorne. Do not turn off the second floor
corridor and the bathroom lights. Also,
Okay, the bathroom lights are on.
Sarah's memo. Dear Andrew, it's been a
real pleasure working as your father's
caregiver for all these years. I'm so
relieved that he is okay, and I agreed
that you and your family made the right
call to move into his house to look
after him. I already told you all that
you need to know, but I'm leaving this
memo just in case. I put the pain
medications in the first floor guest
room. You can find them in the drawer.
Your father's usual dosage is 2 in the
morning and two after dinner since the
doctor told you to tone it down. Make it
one tablet instead of two. He sleeps
around 8:00 p.m. and wakes up around
4:00 a.m. Jeez, though. He usually stays
in his room until the sun comes up
because of his nicaphobia. Fear of the
dark, I guess. I never knew what that
was called. Just keep some of the lights
in the second floor on so he can use the
bathroom. I hope Bernard recovers soon,
although I have nothing to worry about
now that he is under loving care of his
family. Yeah, even though I'm all alone
Okay. First floor guest room.
Is that the one next to this?
Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry,
Kate. It's Andrew. Signal is too weak
here. So, I'm going to leave postit
around the house if there's anything I
need you to know. You could do the same
if there's anything I need to know
tomorrow. Brings me back to when we were
in high school. Haha, fine. But you're
Your mother's sewing machine is still
working. Do you think Bernard would mind
if I practice with it? I've always
wanted to make something cute for Timmy
This get me to my tablet.
Andrew used this in high school. Must
have fallen when the door closed. Yeah,
sorry this room is still a mess. Timmy
specifically said he will unpack his
stuff by himself after returning from
his camping trip. Don't worry, your
grandson may be stubborn, but he's a boy
of his words.
Okay, so Timmy's my grandson.
House map. Oh,
my new room, which is the room we're in
now, aka dad's old room. I was just in
Okay, house is settling. Uh, we have a
guest room downstairs, storage room,
new tablet, baby. Kate ordered for me. I
can use it as a flashlight. Ah, I see.
So, now we can go into this other room. Oops.
Oops.
This is cool so far. Pretty unique
Let it write. Letter to Andrew. Dear
Andrew, I am sorry I took so much away
from you. I write this letter and the
letters after this, not in the hope of
gaining your forgiveness, but to tell
you how much I love you and your mother.
To me, she was and still is the most
beautiful and kindest person I've ever
known. Your mother always had this
calming presence that made you forget
about the bad things happening around
you. If she told you that everything is
okay, you would believe her without a
single drop of doubt. I can still
remember the time I was under your
mother's care in Vietnam. She was a
nursing officer who was part of the
first South Korean medical team that
came to help the US in the war. When I
got taken to the Korean field hospital
after my injury due to a chain of
events, your mother, being the only
staff who could speak in English,
volunteered to be my caretaker. She
could have just sent me to a US
hospital, but she was concerned with the
idea of moving me around in my
condition. As such, your mother always
thought of others first, even in a
foreign land where death loomed over
everyone, including her.
Electrical contractor's license. Bernard
Thorne, owner of Thorn Electrical. Oh,
Then what?
Look for pain pills in the first floor
guest. This is such a cool way of doing
a game like this.
You can see the map,
letters, documents.
Okay. So, does this count as the second
Some places call the ground floor the
first floor and then some places don't.
So, I'm always confused as to which
people go by. Kate said I might have
broken it during the fall. I can fix it
with the nipper in my study. Okay.
Okay.
I use a nippers all the time for Warhammer.
Warhammer.
Wait, in my study.
Grandpa's study. Oh, that's the room I
was just in.
Okay.
Look at the pouch in your left to take
Then yes and yes.
okay. Wires exposed. I need to empty my
hand to tight.
Uh, no. Put it away. How do There you go.
Cuz he's an electrician, bro. He still
Holy [ __ ]
Hello, my name is Bernard. I'm here
because my son read a brochure about the
Mind Foundation's famous group grief
counseling and won't leave me alone
until I give it a shot. Well, it has
been a while since I lost my wife, and
maybe it is time I tried a different
approach to moving on. So, yeah,
The wooden ramp at the front door was in
horrible condition, so I had to throw it
away. I'll get you a new one on the way
back from work. Where do you go to get a
Okay. Uh, first floor guest room. So,
I'm at the bottom of the stairs. So,
it's that one next to me that I can't
I'll get the light on. Bernard, don't
There you go.
Sorry.
Kate's moving plan. 28th of the 4th.
Andrew, move our stuff to Bernard's
place and settle in. Timmy, start
three-day school camp. Me 60 to2 day
medical workshop at Houston Hudson
Hotel. 24-hour shift till the next
morning. Bring Bernard home from
hospital after workshop. 60 to 12-hour
night shift.
Oh, go to
thought it said 60. It looks like a six,
doesn't it? Go to two-day medical
workshop and go to 12-hour night shift
at 11 p.m. Kill me now. After Timmy
returns from school camp, have a big
Simon's Park family picnic Sunday, April 6th.
All righty.
Oh, I thought there was like a void there.
Look at me whizzing around in my little
wheelchair. I'm [ __ ] killing it right now.
now.
Uh, disability benefits questionnaire.
Important. The Department of Veterans
Affairs will not pay for or reimburse
any expenses or costs incurred in the
process of completing and or submitting
this form. Note the physician. Your
patient is applying to the US Department
of Veterans Affairs for disability
benefits. VA will consider the
information you provide to this on this
questionnaire as part of their
evaluation in processing the veterans
cla Oh god, so sorry. Uh patient veteran
info Bern Bernard Thorne 1941
mortar explosion damaged the patient's
right side of the body, especially his
right hand. Yeah, I saw a bunch of scars
on his hand. It suffered serious nerve
damage that paralyzed its little and
ring finger and reduced the rest of the
finger's mobility to 30%.
That's why he had his hand cupped when
I uh met Nin during the Vietnam War. She
was a nursing officer from South Korea
and I was a yoku who had no idea what he
was doing.
Uh between the two of us, she was the
Andrew bought a gadget. Maybe there's a manual.
We're okay. We're okay.
You're doing great, Bernard. It's
difficult, but you're accomplishing
stuff. At least the bathroom lights are
still working. And this house is old.
Nice big house, though.
Any lights in here? Shouldn't
you keep all the lights on like all the
time if he has a chronic fear of the dark?
dark?
[ __ ] I didn't know anything would happen.
Oh, I had my flashlight. So, I thought
Okay, Bernard,
we're going to try this again. I'm going
to try and do this faster. I don't know
if there's actually a light switch
anywhere here. There should be, right?
right?
Okay, made it. We made it, Bernard. We
made it. Legends.
Sarah's memo. First floor. I forgot to
mention, I checked again, but I assure
you there's no sign of Bernard taking
more medications than he's supposed to.
I understand you you were worried about
your father's blood test result, but I'm
already aware that people in his
condition sometimes get too reliant on
pain relievers. This is why I keep them
hidden and check their numbers every
day, including your fathers. That is why
I really don't understand how Bernard
could show symptoms of overdose. If
anything, he wasn't getting enough
medication. For the past few weeks, he
seemed more uncomfortable than usual. He
kept telling me that he's fine, but you
know how stubborn your father can be
when it comes to asking for help. I hope
you and Kay can get through him get
through to him somehow because with the
lower dosage he will definitely need
more care. Anyway, I put the pill bottle
in the guest room where you will be
staying in. You can hide it somewhere
more secure if you want. Okay, in the
guest room. But if there's anything you
need, feel free to ask me at any time.
Your father has been more than my
patient for all these years and it would
be my pleasure for him to remain as such.
such. Um,
Um,
do these things connect to each other then?
then?
Or is that a light?
Oh, I need to go back. The pills are in
Need to get this door working. If I want
to reach the guest room, maybe I should
I finally got the smart lights we talked
about. I installed them around the
house, but they can still they still
need to be synced manually with the new
tablet. You could do that for me when it
arrives. I would if the tablet arrived
on time. It arrived while I was taking a
quick nap before my night shift. I have
to head out now, so I'll get I'll do it
if I still have energy tomorrow. Can I
Smart light manual. Okay. Okay. How to
sync your smart light with your smart
device. Download the
Oh, the grass is moving outside. I
thought there was somebody there.
Download the Lum Menus 5 app to your
smart device. L menus is actually pretty
smart device. Bring your smart device
close to an active smart light. The apps
popup window will appear in your smart
So, these are the letters of Bernard
Thorne I've heard so much about. You're
always a smart lad who could learn
anything so quickly. It is one of your
many characteristics that reminds me of
your mother. In Vietnam, I asked her how
she learned to speak English. She told
me she just made friends with the
nursing officers from the nearby US
field hospital, which is quite amazing
considering her deployment was just less
than two years ago. That is kind of
crazy that some people can just be
immersed in a place with a different
language and you just pick it up. Isn't
that crazy that humans are able to do that?
that?
Thirsty for knowledge, she said she
wanted to write in English, too. I told
her it would naturally improve just by
reading a lot. But considering the
circumstances, finding suitable reading
material was difficult. After some
thought, I promised to write her letters
after my departure so she could use them
for studying. Few days later, I was sent
to the US hospital where I was soon
given a medical discharge and went back
to Sunny Ridge where I immediately got
to keeping my promise. Come to think of
it, writing those letters was more for
myself than for her. There were scars I
brought back home from the war, the kind
that keeps you awake at night. For some
reason, writing to your mother was the
only thing that helped me cope with
living with them. That's why I kept on
writing, even if there weren't any replies.
replies. Oh,
What? I can use my tablet to turn this
on. Oh. Oh, I see. I have to sink it in
the middle.
You got it.
Okay. Let's go back and do this one.
>> Vietnam wasn't the first war men had to
experience. When she was little, a war
broke out in Korea and tore her family apart.
apart.
When she grew up, she enlisted as a
nursing officer, as if under an oath. An
oath to spare others from the same
tragedy that struck her family.
Okay, I'm going to have to look up
because I the Vietnam War is one of
those things that I hear so much about,
but being Irish, it's like all my all my
knowledge about it is like through
movies, so I don't actually know when it happened.
happened.
1955 to 1975.
Um, and the Korean War was 1950, okay,
to 1953.
Okay, so I still need to go to the
breaker room. I'm assuming that's this
room. It has to be cuz I can't go
Okay, how do I Hold on. I need to back
ah
looks like it's out of power. Maybe I
should check the breaker box. Oh god.
Oh, that's a tricky one.
Oh, careful, Bernard. Don't overdo it. Jesus.
Jesus.
I can't reach the guest room unless I
replace it with the spare in the
kitchen. Fix the breaker box with the
spare breaker switch in the kitchen.
Okay, now I can go back.
[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Damn. Sorry.
Sorry. I should have turned. I thought I
could just back out and then go out the
door that way, but
Oh,
Hope so. Yes.
Yes.
Oh, what is this?
Kitchen light switch.
It's not working. Okay.
Uh, Amanda, the kitchen light isn't
working again. I really hope it's not
the chewed off wire this time.
I need to fix me a breaker box. Oh,
Please don't touch this. Timmy wants me
to fix his toy before he gets back, but
I think I'm just making it worse. I'm
going to need Dad to show me some of his
magic. And you were doing this on the
I mean I do all my stuff on the dining
table. I paint my miniatures on the
dining table and I have rubbed off some
of the varnish of that table in the
resulting havoc of doing that. Okay,
Okay,
so I still need to be in there. Fix the
breaker box with the spare breaker
switch in the kitchen. Oh, wait. That
was the one over there. Look for pain
pills in the first floor guest room.
Oops. Okay.
Okay.
Calming a PTSD attack. Techniques to
calm a PTSD attack. PTSD attack. Take a
deep breath. Practice deep breathing can
help you combat anxiety. Distract
yourself. Activities such as doing
chores or reading books can help keep
your mind off strong emotions.
Mindfulness. Be in touch with the
moment. Be aware of what is happening
around you. Seek social support. Being a
part of a social group led by a
professional can greatly reduce PTSD
attacks. Okay, so we scribbled all those
out and had different ones. Turn on all
the lights. Make room as bright as
possible. Don't look away from its face.
It gets worse when you look away from
its face. There's no escape. It always
comes back. Oh man. One of his hallucinations.
hallucinations.
Okay. So, don't look away from its face.
Is that something I'm going to have to do?
What I get? Plastic basket filled with
random objects, including a screwdriver. Okay.
our family photo taken at the town
carnival a few days before the accident. Oh,
but he's not in it. Okay, I can't read that.
So, the screwdriver was for this switch
over here, right?
I'm getting nervous because I haven't
had anything like spooky happen in a while.
while.
All right, I need to take it out.
How do I Huh?
Hold on. I need to go back and check. I
thought I brought all of that stuff out
Oh. Oh, I put it down there.
I see. I did not see that. That's what
You always hear about that how like
Fourth of July is horrible for people
M16
letter to Min. Dear Minyong Lee, I hope
everything is well. I am Bernard Thorne,
the American soldier you took care of.
I'm writing this letter to keep my
promise of helping you with your
English. So sweet. I'm back in Sunny
Ridge. Nothing has changed here,
although I can't say the same about
myself. The wounds on my body are mostly
healed, and I can walk just fine like
before, but my right hand shows little
to no improvement. My little finger and
ring finger still refuse to move from
its curled up state, and the other three
fingers can only stretch just enough to
hold an egg. I'm just glad that I can
still use a pen so I can write to you.
And you still have fantastic
handwriting. I consider myself to be one
of the lucky ones, though. Many of the
soldier I saw in your field hospital
were in far worse conditions than I was.
Some were carried in with their limbs
dangling from their bodies like a broken
branch hanging by its bark. It makes me
shudder to think that my right arm would
have suffered the same fate if I were a
little closer to the explosion. I heard
on the news that they are moving further
north, which means there will be more
people that I that need you. I hope that
you will stay strong and most
importantly, stay safe. Until I write
again, Bernard Thorne, PS. Please do not
bother yourself with writing back. I
know you are not yet comfortable with
writing in English and barely have the
time to do it anyway.
>> Jeez. As for me, I was drafted into
Vietnam when I was 24 in a foreign land
where half the country wanted me dead.
Keeping my sanity was a a difficult
task, but thanks to my squadmates, I was
>> Man, the Vietnam War
so grueling. Just chewed up people.
Okay. Look at its face. Look at its
face. Look at its face.
No. I told myself I wouldn't look at its face.
did I [ __ ] that up? What am I supposed
I have to get a bang on that.
Don't look at its face. Don't look at
its face.
[ __ ] hell. That's very Love, Sam.
That painting on the wall.
JESUS. WAIT, DID I HAVE TO LOOK AT ITS
FACE? He told me not to look at its face
that it got worse.
Do it faster. Do it faster.
[ __ ] man.
Okay, so there should be a spare
Sarah's letter. Welcome back. Oh, dear
Bernard, welcome back. I feared the
worst when I found out in the when I
found you on the floor that morning. It
is truly a miracle that your injuries
are not serious. But I heard you still
have trouble remembering some things. I
also heard reminiscing about your I also
heard reminiscing about your past can
stimulate other parts of your memory.
So, let me try that on you. Do you
remember two years ago when you were
returning from your regular checkup? You
said you needed to use the bathroom, so
we stopped by my house since it was
nearby. Somehow, I forgot about your
nicaphobia and told you to use the one
with a broken light. When you found out
about it, you volunteered to take a
look. And you fixing it would be a
cakewalk for you, but I declined. My
husband George was supposed to get it
fixed years ago. It will be done before
you return from the market, he said the
day he finally decided to get to it.
When I got back home, he was still in
front of the bathroom on the floor
clenching his chest. Oh no. I told you
everything. how I never got over the
fact that George was gone and how I
tried to keep him in my life by leaving
his work unfinished. You turned your
eyes to the dark bathroom and said,
"Dwelling in the past will only turn
George's memory into something sad." I
could tell you were also talking about
yourself because of the sadness in your
eyes. I got you the tools you needed,
and in less than half an hour, the light
turned on. I cried. I'd forgotten how
bright it was. Perhaps I pointed you to
that bathroom because I knew you would
help me find peace. You have that kind
of power over people, Bernard. And it's
something you should never forget. Oh
man, that's so sweet and sad at the same time.
I got you your favorite dessert for your
troubles. Check the freezer. Gasp. Mint
chocolate ice cream cake. You really
know how to woo a lady, Mr. Thorn. Oh,
that sounds [ __ ] tasty.
Man, I said something scary hadn't
happened in a while and then the
All right, that smart light doesn't work.
Okay.
Oh, I'm too slow. I'm too slow.
I'm definitely too slow.
I spent too long trying to figure out
Dear Minyong Lee, I went to a
physician's office today to get the
diagnosis I need to apply for veteran
benefits. Turns out the initial
diagnosis in Vietnam was correct. My
right hand nerves are damaged beyond
recovery. I guess my days of helping my
father at his auto repair shop is truly
over. But my hand is not only is not the
only problem I've been having. I used to
consider myself as not so sensitive, but
nowadays even little things like cries
of children can get on my nerves.
possibly because I haven't been sleeping
well for the past few days. I considered
telling the doctor about this, but I
doubt the Department of Veteran Affairs
will accept not sleeping well and being
annoyed by children as medical
conditions, so I kept my mouth shut. I
mean, not sleeping is one of the worst
things that can happen to a person.
Afterwards, I went to the VA office to
hand in the diagnosis. There were others
waiting their turn. I sat next to a man
in a wheelchair with both of his legs
missing. He told me he was also in
Vietnam as a pilot for a C133.
He said he lost his legs when he got
shot down by an enemy surfaceto-air
missile. Luckily, he landed near a field
a friendly a frightly a friendly outpost
and got rescued in time. He was about to
ask about my story, but it was cut short
when the receptionist called his name. I
was very much relieved because my
problems were nothing compared to what
he had to live with. I felt ashamed. I
remembered all the soldiers in your
field hospital who suffered injuries
that will forever change their lives. I
wish that all those men can find peace
back home. You should never really think
about it that way, though. Trauma is
trauma. I went to therapy. I mean, I've
been going to therapy for years now, but
I went a few years ago. And in one of
the earlier sessions, we talked about
stuff that I was going through and stuff
that I had lived with and stuff that I
went through as a kid and the things I
had seen and a lot of stuff I had
glossed over and tried to just I was
like, well, a lot of people have rough upbringings.
upbringings.
Um, so I didn't think what I went
through was anything like special or
unique. turns out very special, very
unique and very troubling. So, it was
worth dealing with and getting to the
bottom of and talking about. And
obviously, it takes a lot of work. But
other stuff had happened to me even
during my YouTube career where I got
traumatized by certain things. And I'm
not going to go into it now because it's
mine and I don't want to talk about it,
but it was one of those things where I
was like, "This happened to me, but this
other thing happened to somebody else,
so I shouldn't feel too bad about my
thing." Um, and my therapist, obviously,
very good at her job, was talking about
how like whatever's traumatizing you, no
matter if you think it's something that
shouldn't traumatize you or shouldn't be
causing you stress and PTSD,
that doesn't matter. Your brain doesn't
know the difference. Your brain doesn't
know somebody else has a worse, nor does
that matter. They're also going through
a version of it. Whether uh it's worse
or better or whatever, it doesn't
matter. It's it's all trauma. It's all
stress. It's all stuff you have to deal with.
with.
>> Our squad leader, Vernon, took good care
of it.
with a a guy who
>> they're missing their arms of
>> dry stock so we could hand them out to
uh those who were about to have
he gave us all the strength to
So, is the monster like a Frankenstein's
monster where it's bits and pieces of
other people's bodies, like the stuff
that he all saw all merged into like one creature?
Oh [ __ ] I'm walking.
Like this is just horrible.
I can't imagine what it's like to go
through something like that. And people
are going through it right now in the
Okay, what do we have to do now? Look
for pain pills in the first floor guest
Oh, where does this door lead?
I installed some smart lights down in
the basement, too. You know, just in
case we need a party room. You're
already thinking of inviting your
co-workers, aren't you? I don't know.
Does this house really have enough power
for your man cave?
Okay, we won't go down there.
Uh oh. Uhoh. Uhoh.
Uhoh.
Hold on, Bernard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I don't know where to go in here.
It's too steep. I need to ramp up some
kind. I don't think I should be out here.
here.
That's cool. That's clever. That's smart.
I moved the meds to the garage. They're
on the corner shelf, so don't let dad
see it. But Sarah said Bernard didn't
take any extra pills from her stash. I
know you're worried, but it seems like
[ __ ] Um,
Um,
guest room living room. I don't know
where the garage is. Basement area.
That wouldn't really make sense, would it?
Hold up. Backing up. Watch out.
Family picture of Andrew, Kate, and
little Timmy. Cute.
Cute.
Are these actual people from that the
game developers know or is this just
like stock photo?
HE CAN'T BE DOING that to poor Bernard.
Dear Minyong Lee, it is 3:00 a.m. now.
I'm writing this letter to distract
myself from thinking about the nightmare
that woke me up. It's the same nightmare
that has been keeping me awake since I
came back, and it's getting more
frequent as time goes by. In my dream,
I'm back in the jungle, surrounded by
darkness. I'm staring at something
that's lurking in the dark, and it is
staring back. It is a face. A face with
nothing on it but a hole. I want to look
away from it, but I can't. If I try to
ignore it, it will come closer and
closer until it's so close that I can't
ignore it anymore. I know whose face it
is. Belongs to Sergeant Vernon, my
former squad leader. He was a good man
everyone relied on. He always kept his
cool in the fiercest
I feel like I've never I haven't seen
the word fiercest written down in a
while. Fiercest battles and knew how to
lighten up the mood in the worst
situations. But one night Charlie's
ambush Charlie's ambushed us using
darkness as cover. The ground shook with
mortar barrage and the sky turned red
with flares. At one point I started to
think I was in hell. That's when I
couldn't take it anymore and collapsed
on the ground. Vernon tried to get me
back up on my feet. He died in the
process. My nightmares are his way of
reminding me that he died because of my
cowardice. Sometimes I can feel his gaze
even when I'm awake, mostly at night
when the darkness reminds me of the
night he died. Once it happens, trying
not to think about it will only make it
worse. A punishment for trying to run
away from what I did. Forgive me for
sharing something so morbid, but you're
the only person I can talk to about
this. I'll try to write about something
more light-hearted next time. Jeez.
Well, I guess now we know what it is.
>> Wait,
>> should I get up? Oh,
>> now shoot.
So, hide when you get mortar fire. Got it.
Jeez. Is this really what you had to go through?
Thorn. Thorn. Get up, Thor, or we all die.
die.
>> Oh, [ __ ]
Was that the explosion that I was near that?
that?
The sergeant's death devastated our
squad's morale, and I was the cause.
Since his death, his face, his
hollow face followed everywhere I go,
staring at me, haunting me, making sure
I never forget what I did to him.
>> Yeah, it's not your fault. But
I mean, anybody that's gone through
something like that, imagine telling
them that. It's like, well, I'm still
haunted by it. Telling me it's not my
fault. It's not going to do anything,
but it's not your fault.
door opener, smart tablet, or that
emergency necklace that got lost. You
gave me so many things ever since you
moved out of this house to live with
Kate. You also got me that portable ram
saying I could go anywhere on my own
with it. Please forgive me, but I put it
down in the basement boiler room because
like many of your gifts, it was a
reminder of how I also tried to fill my
absence the same way. After your
mother's passing, work was the only way
I could think of to save our family. I
spent most of the day outside going on
visits or working at the office.
Fortunately, the business grew, but so
did distance between us. I tried to fill
it with things that you probably didn't
even need, like the that Walkman or Game
Boy. But deep down, I knew that gap
wasn't caused by work. It existed
because I was afraid to face you after
taking away your mother from you. I'm
truly thankful that despite everything,
you grew up to be a fine young man on
your own, even starting your own family
with your high school sweetheart. Please
learn from my mistakes. Always be there
for your loved ones. The time you spend
with each other is the only thing that's
worth anything. Wow.
>> Oh god.
>> Then one night, flares lit up the dark
again, followed by another mortar
barrage. All I could do was cower in my foxhole.
foxhole.
Suddenly, through all the chaos, I heard
a scream of pain coming from afar.
I tried hard to ignore it, but the
harder I tried, it it felt like if I
didn't do anything, if that scream had
stopped, it would come back as another
hollowed out thing.
Before I even realized it, I was running
around like a madman, searching for the
It's the scream of mortars.
Oh, not that scream.
When I reached that man, there was blood
everywhere and his screams had long
stopped. I was too late. Nonetheless, I
decided to carry his dead body. It was a
stupid decision, but at that moment, all
I could think of was bringing his body
somewhere safe so it doesn't get torn
apart by mortar fire. His family
deserved to have him back with his face
still recognizable.
Well, there I was, risking my life for a
dead man as if it was going to redeem my mistake.
mistake.
>> I mean, you say you were a coward, but I don't
don't
>> damn joke.
It's okay. It's okay.
She was actually speaking Korean.
Letter to Andrew. I've seen your mother
mad only once. It was after returning
from the town festival just a few days
before she died. Do you remember the one
where I got a panic attack from a little
fireworks show? After we put you to bed,
I told her how sorry I was for ruining a
perfect family night. She gave me a warm
hug, saying that I didn't ruin anything.
That's when I got too comfortable and
jokingly said she must be regretting
marrying a wimp by now. Then she quietly
but fiercely told me to never say that
again. With our 14th anniversary coming
up in just a few days, I didn't want to
upset her even further, so I apologized
and went to bed. Don't get me wrong, I
never doubted your mother's love for me,
but I also know that she had her own
scars. She lost her father in battle
during the Korea War, and her mother
died working her mother died working day
and night trying to raise three children
on her own. The experience of having her
family torn apart by war made her
sympathetic to those affected by it.
That's why she came to the US in the
Okay. In the basement. Sure nothing
wrong can go I'm sure nothing can go
wrong down here.
When I regained consciousness, I was
greeted by a soothing voice with an
unfamiliar accent telling me everything
was okay.
Okay, these smart lights are great. If
only they were a bit brighter, so you
Turns out the trenches I stumbled into
were Korean. I should have been taken to
a US field hospital, but because of all
the mayhem and the condition I was in,
they had no choice but to take me to one
of their own. The one Min was stationed at.
Vietnam War and PTSD. Vietnam War
veterans were especially prone to
suffering from PTSD due to various
factors. Soldiers lacked resting time
between battles. There was not much
public support for their war and its
participants. Veterans were not aware of
their own PTSD symptoms since it wasn't
officially recognized as a mental health
condition until 1980. That is so crazy
to me. 10 years before I was born, PTSD
wasn't recognized 5 years after the end
Okay, definitely going to have to come
>> I think so. I think that was probably uh
a light source. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> As the only American in the field
hospital, I naturally became the talk
among the Korean. Min was especially
curious. She asked me how I even got to
the Korean side of the battlefield.
I couldn't dare tell her I was trying to say
>> what?
Wait. I didn't have enough time to do
anything there. Oh,
there. [ __ ]
How is I check the subbreaker?
Who? Why is the room completely different?
I thought I was staring over obstacles
to try and like see a monster, but maybe
it's actually just to see where I'm going.
going.
I can figure this out.
There isn't that many places to go.
The breaker box is over here in this
What are you doing here? I'm looking for
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Dear Minyong Lee, I was running some
errands at the market today. A child was
throwing a tantrum to his mother. Maybe
because she wouldn't buy him what he
wanted. His whining was making me feel
uneasy again, so I tried to pass by
quickly. That's when the boy started
wailing. Mama. All of a sudden, I
couldn't breathe as if something had
stuck in my windpipe, I felt my lungs
struggle to pump in air. But all I did
was all it did was make me make gasping sound. All it did was make gasping
sound. All it did was make gasping sounds come out of my mouth. My skin
sounds come out of my mouth. My skin felt ice cold, and yet beneath it felt
felt ice cold, and yet beneath it felt as if I was on fire. At that moment, I
as if I was on fire. At that moment, I remembered the day I heard a similar cry
remembered the day I heard a similar cry in the jungles of Vietnam. It was right
in the jungles of Vietnam. It was right after we fended off an attack. It was
after we fended off an attack. It was their sixth probe attack. See that sixth
their sixth probe attack. See that sixth looks like the G from before. It was
looks like the G from before. It was their sixth probe attack only that day.
their sixth probe attack only that day. We were already on edge since Sergeant
We were already on edge since Sergeant Vernon's death and one of the newbies
Vernon's death and one of the newbies finally lost it and chased after the
finally lost it and chased after the fleeing enemies. Tried to grab him but
fleeing enemies. Tried to grab him but was too slow. Soon we heard an
was too slow. Soon we heard an explosion. We rushed to the private. Uh
explosion. We rushed to the private. Uh he was on the ground alive. He tried to
he was on the ground alive. He tried to get up but soon realized he couldn't
get up but soon realized he couldn't because both of his legs were missing. I
because both of his legs were missing. I do not know which struck him first, the
do not know which struck him first, the pain or the horror. Either way, he
pain or the horror. Either way, he started screaming, "Mama, mama!" like a
started screaming, "Mama, mama!" like a child who fell down and scraped his
child who fell down and scraped his knee. But his mama wasn't there to stop
knee. But his mama wasn't there to stop his son's bleeding. And she and he died
his son's bleeding. And she and he died even before the medic arrived.
even before the medic arrived. Uh, as he died, his lifeless eyes turned
Uh, as he died, his lifeless eyes turned towards me wide open. I remembered
towards me wide open. I remembered Sergeant Vernon's face, or lack thereof,
Sergeant Vernon's face, or lack thereof, by this by what it seems. Back at the
by this by what it seems. Back at the market, as my mind slowly returned to
market, as my mind slowly returned to reality, I looked around the busy
reality, I looked around the busy street. Everything was the same. Even
street. Everything was the same. Even the boy and his mother were gone. No one
the boy and his mother were gone. No one noticed my distress. Life went on. And
noticed my distress. Life went on. And hopefully I can too. Man, it must be so
hopefully I can too. Man, it must be so difficult
difficult where everything
where everything in life is just normal again for
in life is just normal again for everybody
everybody except you. Don't make that sound.
Oh god, that sound. The backing up sound.
God, that's scary. Oh, beep beep beep. I see.
Oh, beep beep beep. I see. So everything I do has to be in the
So everything I do has to be in the forward direction.
Oh god. Oh god. Is that enough time to do anything?
Yep. Yep. Yep. Find the pills. Go up the attic.
attic. I can't. I don't have a ramp.
Okay. Okay. Oh my god.
Oh my god. >> We talked a lot about our lives before
>> We talked a lot about our lives before Vietnam. Our conversations helped me
Vietnam. Our conversations helped me stay distracted from the things I'd seen
stay distracted from the things I'd seen and done. When I got discharged, I
and done. When I got discharged, I started writing letters to her. It was
started writing letters to her. It was the only thing keeping my mind from
the only thing keeping my mind from being dragged back into the jungle.
>> It's very light for its size and extremely durable. Okay,
extremely durable. Okay, get out of here. Look for pills in the
get out of here. Look for pills in the garage. You [ __ ] got it.
I'm just going. I'm just going. No time to think. No time to think about
to think. No time to think about anything.
anything. We are out of here.
Oh Jesus. That might be too close.
No, you can't follow me. You don't have a ramp.
Smart light. Think smartly detected. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, dear Minyong Lee, I have
yeah. Okay. Oh, dear Minyong Lee, I have decided to pursue a career as an
decided to pursue a career as an electrician. Turns out my claw-like hand
electrician. Turns out my claw-like hand is still useful for working with wires
is still useful for working with wires and small objects. I enrolled in an
and small objects. I enrolled in an electrical program at the local
electrical program at the local community college today, but my father
community college today, but my father is still disappointed that his boy won't
is still disappointed that his boy won't be taking over his business. I can't
be taking over his business. I can't blame him. He has been a mechanic all
blame him. He has been a mechanic all his life and takes great pride in his
his life and takes great pride in his trade. Electrician is a pretty great
trade. Electrician is a pretty great trade to have. He even has an inspection
trade to have. He even has an inspection pit set up at our home garage. Still, he
pit set up at our home garage. Still, he is very supportive of my decision and
is very supportive of my decision and says he will even help me open my own
says he will even help me open my own business one day. It will be a difficult
business one day. It will be a difficult journey, especially with all the voices
journey, especially with all the voices that keep telling me that I do not
that keep telling me that I do not deserve a second chance. But I'm slowly
deserve a second chance. But I'm slowly moving forward using our story as an
moving forward using our story as an inspiration. The story of how you became
inspiration. The story of how you became a nursing officer to fight the very
a nursing officer to fight the very thing that destroyed your family. Though
thing that destroyed your family. Though I cannot see myself doing something so
I cannot see myself doing something so noble. The least I can do is start
noble. The least I can do is start contributing to the community and keep
contributing to the community and keep my parents from worrying. I know I've
my parents from worrying. I know I've written so much about the things that
written so much about the things that are best kept to myself, but strangely I
are best kept to myself, but strangely I feel no regret or embarrassment.
feel no regret or embarrassment. Instead, my heart feels lighter with
Instead, my heart feels lighter with every word I write down. I do not know
every word I write down. I do not know if my letters are actually helping you
if my letters are actually helping you with your English or if you're even
with your English or if you're even reading them, but they are definitely
reading them, but they are definitely helping me. I may not be able to
helping me. I may not be able to completely put the past behind me, but
completely put the past behind me, but life goes on one heavy step at a time.
life goes on one heavy step at a time. Yeah, it's good to journal things. It's
Yeah, it's good to journal things. It's good to write it down.
Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ]
Okay. Okay. How do I get past him? I know it
Okay. How do I get past him? I know it says don't make that sound, but
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I can't turn around fast enough.
Maybe he'll move that way. That's so [ __ ] creepy.
Oh, light. Light. I didn't see that.
I didn't see that. Oh, I really thought I was going to have
Oh, I really thought I was going to have to like make a beep beep beep, but then
to like make a beep beep beep, but then like distract him and send him somewhere
like distract him and send him somewhere else.
Oh my god, I ran out of time. I need to get off the ramp to retrieve it. Oh god.
Oh my god, that's so scary.
Okay, I'm going to trigger the light this time when I'm turned around
or at least closer to being turned around.
around. Go, go, go.
Holy [ __ ] Holy [ __ ]
Holy [ __ ] I'm sorry, brother.
I'm sorry, brother. I'm sorry for what happened to you. What
I'm sorry for what happened to you. What happened to all of us? It shouldn't have
happened to all of us? It shouldn't have happened.
Stay indoors and secure all doors and windows. Beware of hazards from the
windows. Beware of hazards from the flood waters if caught outside during a
flood waters if caught outside during a storm. In case of vehicle breakdown,
storm. In case of vehicle breakdown, illuminate your location to alert other
illuminate your location to alert other drivers.
Who am I kidding? Of course, he's going to be here. Of course he's going to be
to be here. Of course he's going to be here.
here. Okay, I'm just going to take the really
Okay, I'm just going to take the really slow turn around. There you go.
cuz I'm thinking I make a beep beep somewhere. He comes running and then I
somewhere. He comes running and then I escape.
maybe that attracts him over there. Yes. Yes. Yes. Do we still need the
Yes. Yes. Yes. Do we still need the ramp? I'm bringing it.
I don't come in every week, mostly about how broken I had become.
how broken I had become. >> It wasn't the proudest thing I've done,
>> It wasn't the proudest thing I've done, >> but it helped me return to my normal
>> but it helped me return to my normal life.
life. Then one day, I heard the doorbell ring.
Then one day, I heard the doorbell ring. >> Wait, I can't turn around.
>> Wait, I can't turn around. >> I went to answer yet. I thought I was
>> I went to answer yet. I thought I was dreaming.
dreaming. It was men.
wait. How do I do this? I can't turn here.
I was going to say, is there a way that I can get down there
I can get down there without the ramp, but I can't. I can't
without the ramp, but I can't. I can't turn in here either. Wait. So, if I put
turn in here either. Wait. So, if I put it down and then reverse back.
it down and then reverse back. There we go.
There we go. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. All right. All right. The light.
All right. All right. The light. >> Can you imagine?
>> Can you imagine? >> I complained so much about how miserable
>> I complained so much about how miserable I was that she flew 5,000 miles to visit
I was that she flew 5,000 miles to visit me.
me. I really couldn't stand watching people
I really couldn't stand watching people suffer from this ugly thing you called
suffer from this ugly thing you called for.
for. But uh in the end she also became
But uh in the end she also became casualty.
One killed and one injured in cliffside car crash. Last night a couple were
car crash. Last night a couple were involved in a car crash on a cliffside
involved in a car crash on a cliffside road that killed the passenger Miny
road that killed the passenger Miny Young Thorne and seriously injured the
Young Thorne and seriously injured the driver Burner Thornne. The Thorns were
driver Burner Thornne. The Thorns were driving back from their 14th anniversary
driving back from their 14th anniversary dinner during a storm that hit the west
dinner during a storm that hit the west coast area. No.
It takes so much strength of character to still like be here as a person after
to still like be here as a person after stuff like that.
stuff like that. I became a wreck after the accident. Now
I became a wreck after the accident. Now unable to even walk properly, I spent
unable to even walk properly, I spent most of the day in the house drowning in
most of the day in the house drowning in self-hate. However, you never stopped
self-hate. However, you never stopped saying goodbye to me as you left for
saying goodbye to me as you left for school. You would even tell me about
school. You would even tell me about your day, even though your father was
your day, even though your father was giving you nothing but disappointment.
giving you nothing but disappointment. Seeing you recover from the tragedy I
Seeing you recover from the tragedy I caused was the only thing that gave me
caused was the only thing that gave me the strength to wake up in the morning.
the strength to wake up in the morning. Then one late night, I was passing by
Then one late night, I was passing by your room and heard a muffled sound
your room and heard a muffled sound coming from behind the door. It didn't
coming from behind the door. It didn't take long to realize that it was the
take long to realize that it was the sound of crying into your pillow. At
sound of crying into your pillow. At that moment, my heart shattered once
that moment, my heart shattered once more. Not only did I take away your
more. Not only did I take away your mother, I had taken away your right to
mother, I had taken away your right to grieve. I showed you weakness and forced
grieve. I showed you weakness and forced you to share my burden by pretending
you to share my burden by pretending everything was okay. No father should be
everything was okay. No father should be a burden to his son. I reopened my
a burden to his son. I reopened my business. I got my van modified so I can
business. I got my van modified so I can bring my wheelchair to my calls. If I
bring my wheelchair to my calls. If I had to stand, I stood. Nothing a bottle
had to stand, I stood. Nothing a bottle of painkillers couldn't solve. I had to
of painkillers couldn't solve. I had to repay for the strength you had showed
repay for the strength you had showed for me.
Oh, now your son's going to take care of you.
I won't be Andrew's burden. No rest for a sinner.
Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] Okay.
Wait, three things. Okay, I have to do something in this environment.
Fuse box. The fuse is missing. There must be a spare in my van. Oh [ __ ]
must be a spare in my van. Oh [ __ ] that's the other side.
Oh, [ __ ] Where do I Where do I go? [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Oh, I'm going to get
[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Oh, I'm going to get caught. I'm going to get caught.
Okay. Don't block me off, BRO. DON'T BLOCK ME
Don't block me off, BRO. DON'T BLOCK ME OFF, BRO.
OFF, BRO. OKAY. I don't see her. Maybe I do have
OKAY. I don't see her. Maybe I do have more time than I think.
>> You let me go. I just want to
>> Damn. >> How about we go up the attic when we get
>> How about we go up the attic when we get home?
home? >> The attic? Why?
>> The attic? Why? Oh, you you mean our super romantic
Oh, you you mean our super romantic hideout?
hideout? It's been a while since we used that
It's been a while since we used that place.
place. >> Mhm. Since tonight was so special, I
>> Mhm. Since tonight was so special, I thought we could end our anniversary
thought we could end our anniversary there.
there. >> Do you remember? You look like a little
>> Do you remember? You look like a little girl when you first saw that attic.
girl when you first saw that attic. >> Haven't I told you? When I was little, I
>> Haven't I told you? When I was little, I lived in a house with a small attic. My
lived in a house with a small attic. My brothers and I used it like our own
brothers and I used it like our own playroom. When I saw the one in your
playroom. When I saw the one in your house, it felt like I was back in my old
house, it felt like I was back in my old playroom again, just much bigger.
playroom again, just much bigger. >> And that's why you started redecorating
>> And that's why you started redecorating that dusty old place immediately after
that dusty old place immediately after we married.
we married. >> Well, at least I didn't cut out the
>> Well, at least I didn't cut out the floorboard to make a secret attic wine
floorboard to make a secret attic wine celler.
celler. >> Oh, right. How did I forget about the
>> Oh, right. How did I forget about the wine hole? Oh, I should check if we
wine hole? Oh, I should check if we still have a bottle left inside. No, I
still have a bottle left inside. No, I mean I already restocked it this
mean I already restocked it this morning, so there's no need for that.
morning, so there's no need for that. >> Oh, okay. You really prepared a lot for
>> Oh, okay. You really prepared a lot for tonight. But why are you acting so
tonight. But why are you acting so strange? Did you hide a surprise gift
strange? Did you hide a surprise gift there or something?
there or something? >> I don't know what you're talking about.
>> I don't know what you're talking about. So, are you in or not?
So, are you in or not? >> Okay. Okay. I just hope Andrew goes to
>> Okay. Okay. I just hope Andrew goes to bed early tonight.
bed early tonight. >> Don't worry. He always go to bed before
>> Don't worry. He always go to bed before 10:00,
>> honey. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. >> Happy anniversary.
>> Happy anniversary. >> Oh god.
>> Some scars never heal. They'll keep rupturing and rupturing until the
rupturing and rupturing until the bleeding soaks even the ones around you.
Oh god. That's why she's always looking away from him.
Many, you have to wake up. The car is about to blow.
about to blow. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on. >> Oh, she's still alive.
>> Oh, she's still alive. >> Okay. God, we have to We have to get out
>> Okay. God, we have to We have to get out of here right now. Let me just get the
of here right now. Let me just get the seat belt.
Huh? What? No. No. B, stop. [ __ ]
What? No. No. B, stop. [ __ ] >> What are you doing? I I can I can get
>> What are you doing? I I can I can get you out.
you out. >> Please.
>> Please. >> Don't do this to me. Don't do this to
>> Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me.
I kept falling and falling until I got caught by a branch.
caught by a branch. I opened my eyes. My head was facing
I opened my eyes. My head was facing down the cliff and all I could see was
down the cliff and all I could see was complete blackness.
complete blackness. From the above,
From the above, I heard the sound of the burning car. I
I heard the sound of the burning car. I uh tried to turn my body to face the
uh tried to turn my body to face the wreckage,
wreckage, but the pain it pinned me down like a
but the pain it pinned me down like a rock, forcing me to keep facing
rock, forcing me to keep facing downward.
I I cried out. I cried out men's name. I cried out, "I'm sorry."
I cried out, "I'm sorry." I knew it meant nothing, but I kept
I knew it meant nothing, but I kept screaming because it was the only thing
screaming because it was the only thing I could do.
Soon my lungs gave out and I could not even do that except helplessly stare
even do that except helplessly stare into the bottomless darkness while
into the bottomless darkness while listening to the fire eat away men's
listening to the fire eat away men's body from behind me.
body from behind me. Since then, I've become terrified of
Since then, I've become terrified of being in the dark. It reminds me of that
being in the dark. It reminds me of that pitch black cliffside where I got my
pitch black cliffside where I got my wife killed and I did nothing.
wife killed and I did nothing. And that's what I do.
And that's what I do. I cause pain to those around me. Oh, god
I cause pain to those around me. Oh, god damn, man.
damn, man. Then you expect me to keep playing?
Then you expect me to keep playing? [ __ ]
So, why am I still here? Why am I still alive?
alive? My son is all grown up and I'm just
My son is all grown up and I'm just being a burden to him at this point. So,
being a burden to him at this point. So, why not just just end it?
why not just just end it? Thoughts of death loom over me like
Thoughts of death loom over me like flies over a carcass.
flies over a carcass. But I can't do it because of Min. When
But I can't do it because of Min. When she pushed me out of that car, my life
she pushed me out of that car, my life became her greatest legacy, a remnant of
became her greatest legacy, a remnant of her kindness and selflessness.
her kindness and selflessness. If I die, she will truly be gone.
That burden is the only thing that is keeping me alive now. Whenever the
keeping me alive now. Whenever the throttle of death draws closer, a memory
throttle of death draws closer, a memory of men's sacrifice pushes me away from
of men's sacrifice pushes me away from it, back into the world where men no
it, back into the world where men no longer exist.
longer exist. I just hope that one day she will
I just hope that one day she will finally allow me to join her.
Say you are remembered by God, I'm going to cry again for no reason. Well, for a
to cry again for no reason. Well, for a reason, but this poor guy. They say you
reason, but this poor guy. They say you were remembered by the footprints you
were remembered by the footprints you leave behind. I thought I became your
leave behind. I thought I became your mother's biggest footprint when she
mother's biggest footprint when she pushed me out of the car. A living proof
pushed me out of the car. A living proof of her remarkableness. I can't do it.
of her remarkableness. I can't do it. [ __ ]
For all these years, no matter how much I've wanted to follow her, that very
I've wanted to follow her, that very fact kept me anchored to this world. But
fact kept me anchored to this world. But I finally became free of that burden
I finally became free of that burden when you took me to your family picnic
when you took me to your family picnic at Simon's Park. It was quite an event.
at Simon's Park. It was quite an event. Timmy wanted to enjoy everything that it
Timmy wanted to enjoy everything that it had to offer. You and Kate were busy
had to offer. You and Kate were busy following him around as I watched you
following him around as I watched you from behind. You may not have noticed,
from behind. You may not have noticed, but Kate rarely took her eyes off you,
but Kate rarely took her eyes off you, always wearing a bright smile. Only
always wearing a bright smile. Only someone deeply in love could wear such a
someone deeply in love could wear such a smile.
smile. [ __ ] man.
[ __ ] man. Walk it off. Walk it off.
Okay, let's see if I can do it now. She really took her eyes off you, always
really took her eyes off you, always wearing her bright smile. Only someone
wearing her bright smile. Only someone deeply in love could wear such a smile.
deeply in love could wear such a smile. I wondered if I looked at your mother
I wondered if I looked at your mother the same way. That's when I realized
the same way. That's when I realized something marvelous. You were your
something marvelous. You were your mother's greatest footprint, not me.
mother's greatest footprint, not me. Kate gave you that look because you have
Kate gave you that look because you have given her nothing but love. Timmy is
given her nothing but love. Timmy is growing up to be a kind young man
growing up to be a kind young man because that's all you've taught him.
because that's all you've taught him. You spread goodness to those around you
You spread goodness to those around you just as your mother did. The revelation
just as your mother did. The revelation finally freed me of my burden. The only
finally freed me of my burden. The only thing left for me to do now is to
thing left for me to do now is to relieve you of yours. Please don't blame
relieve you of yours. Please don't blame Sarah for my death. I've been stashing
Sarah for my death. I've been stashing away pills for my daily dosage for
away pills for my daily dosage for weeks, and there's no way she could have
weeks, and there's no way she could have known. That's why it didn't seem like he
known. That's why it didn't seem like he was taking more, but more were missing.
was taking more, but more were missing. What happened already happened, so do
What happened already happened, so do not dwell on it. This is my only
not dwell on it. This is my only request. Keep moving forward, knowing
request. Keep moving forward, knowing that your mother lives on through the
that your mother lives on through the love you share and the kindness you
love you share and the kindness you offer.
collect all readable items. I can use the water cup in the bathroom to take
the water cup in the bathroom to take this. So, I need this pill isn't
this. So, I need this pill isn't for ending his life. This pill is to
for ending his life. This pill is to give him enough
give him enough um energy to get up the stairs to find
um energy to get up the stairs to find out what she left in the floorboard.
I do love that the game ends the way it starts.
like claiming this was proving so difficult from at the beginning, but now
difficult from at the beginning, but now you have so much more context going into
you have so much more context going into it that makes it better.
Come on, Bernard. I believe in you, buddy.
Dear Bernard, surprise. This is my anniversary gift for you. a
This is my anniversary gift for you. a very late reply letter. I wanted to
very late reply letter. I wanted to write back when I got confident with my
write back when I got confident with my writing, but after what you said after
writing, but after what you said after the carnival, I decided to finally try.
the carnival, I decided to finally try. Do you know why I got angry when you
Do you know why I got angry when you call yourself a wimp? It's because it
call yourself a wimp? It's because it was the stupidest things I've ever heard
was the stupidest things I've ever heard of. I never mentioned this because you
of. I never mentioned this because you hate talking about the war, but I know
hate talking about the war, but I know about the men you saved in Vietnam. When
about the men you saved in Vietnam. When I first met you, you told me you ended
I first met you, you told me you ended up in the Korean field hospital because
up in the Korean field hospital because you got lost during the attack. But soon
you got lost during the attack. But soon after you left, a rumor spread about how
after you left, a rumor spread about how you ran through a ring of mortars with
you ran through a ring of mortars with an unconscious Korean soldier on your
an unconscious Korean soldier on your back.
back. We called you crazy Yankee because what
We called you crazy Yankee because what you did was end it crazy. So no, I don't
you did was end it crazy. So no, I don't know about the man you say you are. All
know about the man you say you are. All I know is that I married a man who is so
I know is that I married a man who is so kind that he's making a world bit nicer
kind that he's making a world bit nicer without even realizing it. If you don't
without even realizing it. If you don't believe me, think about Andrew. Think
believe me, think about Andrew. Think about how caring and kind he is to
about how caring and kind he is to others. He learned that from you because
others. He learned that from you because that is all you are showing us. And when
that is all you are showing us. And when he grows up, he will find someone like
he grows up, he will find someone like him. They will get married and soon
him. They will get married and soon reach the conclusion that they want to
reach the conclusion that they want to have children because their love is too
have children because their love is too great for just the two of them.
great for just the two of them. When that day comes, he will still need
When that day comes, he will still need his father to be his guide again.
his father to be his guide again. Because let's face it, kids are a piece
Because let's face it, kids are a piece of work.
of work. >> So, please don't deny who you really
>> So, please don't deny who you really are. You were just scarred. And that's
are. You were just scarred. And that's okay. We're all just small scarred
okay. We're all just small scarred things looking for a place to heal. We
things looking for a place to heal. We found ours when we found each other. All
found ours when we found each other. All that's left now is to heal. With love,
that's left now is to heal. With love, [ __ ]
[ __ ] P.S.
P.S. Don't be surprised when you look at my
Don't be surprised when you look at my face because it should be so red right
face because it should be so red right now.
heavy. Damn, what a [ __ ] game.
Their last game was incredible. Love, Sam. It was a very different kind of
Sam. It was a very different kind of game that leaned more into like the
game that leaned more into like the horror elements and the really like
horror elements and the really like mystery twist nature of it all. Dad,
mystery twist nature of it all. Dad, what are you doing here? How did you
what are you doing here? How did you even
even Dad?
Dad? Hey. Hey,
Hey. Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
I'm glad we got to see him. Yeah, the the last game leaned way more into like
the last game leaned way more into like the twisty myth mystery thriller nature
the twisty myth mystery thriller nature of it all and it told an incredible
of it all and it told an incredible story, but man, this one [ __ ] floored
story, but man, this one [ __ ] floored me. This is an incredible game. It
me. This is an incredible game. It really goes to show there was so much in
really goes to show there was so much in it. I was going to say keeping things
it. I was going to say keeping things simple really works, but some of the
simple really works, but some of the stuff in this game wasn't that simple.
stuff in this game wasn't that simple. Like the puzzles and all that stuff.
Like the puzzles and all that stuff. Like it's not simple to put this
Like it's not simple to put this together. I just mean like I'm really
together. I just mean like I'm really glad that it's so unapologetic in its
glad that it's so unapologetic in its version of what happened to the main
version of what happened to the main character to Bernard. The stuff about
character to Bernard. The stuff about trauma and the way it happens to you
trauma and the way it happens to you because there's so many there's so many
because there's so many there's so many times and I've had this happen to me as
times and I've had this happen to me as well where you talk about your mental
well where you talk about your mental health struggles but after a while it
health struggles but after a while it becomes a thing where people are like
becomes a thing where people are like I'm tired of hearing about that. Like
I'm tired of hearing about that. Like I'll talk about my mental health
I'll talk about my mental health struggles and I'll put it up on the
struggles and I'll put it up on the internet a lot of times and talk about
internet a lot of times and talk about the stuff that I'm dealing with and how
the stuff that I'm dealing with and how I really struggle to get through certain
I really struggle to get through certain things and because I'm a YouTuber of a
things and because I'm a YouTuber of a certain size and there's other YouTubers
certain size and there's other YouTubers of similar size and they don't seem to
of similar size and they don't seem to have a problem with uploading sometimes
have a problem with uploading sometimes but why is Sean struggling so much and
but why is Sean struggling so much and it just turns into this thing that oh
it just turns into this thing that oh like stop complaining, shut up about
like stop complaining, shut up about your problems like you're a millionaire
your problems like you're a millionaire and you have all this stuff and like
and you have all this stuff and like you're playing video games for your job.
you're playing video games for your job. And don't get me wrong, a lot of that
And don't get me wrong, a lot of that stuff is a massive privilege. And I'm
stuff is a massive privilege. And I'm not going to say I'm not going to do
not going to say I'm not going to do that. Oh, money doesn't buy happiness
that. Oh, money doesn't buy happiness because I think that that is such an
because I think that that is such an outdated
outdated sentiment
sentiment because of the amount of money some
because of the amount of money some people are able to make these days. I I
people are able to make these days. I I understand the sentiment. I understand
understand the sentiment. I understand what it means. But money doesn't buy
what it means. But money doesn't buy happiness, but it definitely paves the
happiness, but it definitely paves the way closer to it. like I I'm afforded a
way closer to it. like I I'm afforded a position where I do get enough time to
position where I do get enough time to take time off work. I'm financially set
take time off work. I'm financially set for the rest of my life. I can take time
for the rest of my life. I can take time to explore my own mental health in ways
to explore my own mental health in ways that other people can't. I can't imagine
that other people can't. I can't imagine what it's like to go through similar
what it's like to go through similar struggles that I go through or worse
struggles that I go through or worse and then not have the time to be able to
and then not have the time to be able to sit down, not have the financial
sit down, not have the financial stability to be able to sit back, seek
stability to be able to sit back, seek out medication, doctors, therapists, but
out medication, doctors, therapists, but also just have time to I can just quit
also just have time to I can just quit whenever I want. I can stop doing this
whenever I want. I can stop doing this whenever I want. I can take breaks so I
whenever I want. I can take breaks so I can sit back and understand who I am
can sit back and understand who I am better to take the time I need to come
better to take the time I need to come back and do it again. And so many people
back and do it again. And so many people don't have that privilege at all. But
don't have that privilege at all. But there are times where I like talking
there are times where I like talking about this stuff because I think it
about this stuff because I think it opens up the doorway. It lets people see
opens up the doorway. It lets people see you for who you are. You're not this
you for who you are. You're not this like godlike entity on the internet that
like godlike entity on the internet that just has so many numbers and views and
just has so many numbers and views and things to your name where so many fans
things to your name where so many fans are lining up to talk to you and that
are lining up to talk to you and that kind of thing. You know, I've always
kind of thing. You know, I've always tried to be a bit more realistic about
tried to be a bit more realistic about who I am as a person and being in that
who I am as a person and being in that sort of like celebrity status. Like
sort of like celebrity status. Like there's so many celebrities out there
there's so many celebrities out there who are way beyond an echelon that I'm
who are way beyond an echelon that I'm at, but they're all regular people. But
at, but they're all regular people. But everybody leans into that aspect of like
everybody leans into that aspect of like that mystery of who you are and not
that mystery of who you are and not sharing enough about who you are because
sharing enough about who you are because it weakens you in the public perception.
it weakens you in the public perception. You're not as cool to people anymore if
You're not as cool to people anymore if you talk about it too much. you know,
you talk about it too much. you know, you talk about it in a sort of sexy way
you talk about it in a sort of sexy way u and say that you struggle with things,
u and say that you struggle with things, but then you get up on stage and you do
but then you get up on stage and you do this stuff and you can do that. Don't
this stuff and you can do that. Don't get me wrong, some people are very good
get me wrong, some people are very good at it. But, you know, there's that what
at it. But, you know, there's that what I'm trying to get at is that there's
I'm trying to get at is that there's that element of like don't o open up
that element of like don't o open up enough. Don't open up too much cuz
enough. Don't open up too much cuz people don't want to get annoyed by you.
people don't want to get annoyed by you. You know, we still have that problem
You know, we still have that problem where and it's in this as well where he
where and it's in this as well where he felt like he couldn't open up to his
felt like he couldn't open up to his family enough so he had to write it
family enough so he had to write it down. uh opening up to his wife saying
down. uh opening up to his wife saying that he was a wimp and all that stuff
that he was a wimp and all that stuff and even in the letters like it can feel
and even in the letters like it can feel like you're just writing about the same
like you're just writing about the same thing over and over and over again like
thing over and over and over again like oh I'm talking about the war again and
oh I'm talking about the war again and I'm talking about the things that are
I'm talking about the things that are wrong with me and the things that
wrong with me and the things that happened to me but it's so important
happened to me but it's so important that if that's what it takes to help you
that if that's what it takes to help you get through it to cathart your way
get through it to cathart your way through it there's so many people who go
through it there's so many people who go through war but in the grand scheme of
through war but in the grand scheme of the amount of people who are alive right
the amount of people who are alive right now who have no idea what it's like to
now who have no idea what it's like to go through that like of course it's
go through that like of course it's going to seem repetitive and annoying to
going to seem repetitive and annoying to other people, but it doesn't matter. You
other people, but it doesn't matter. You should still talk about it. You need to
should still talk about it. You need to get that stuff off your chest because
get that stuff off your chest because you went through something that's very
you went through something that's very few people in the world will ever get to
few people in the world will ever get to go through and hopefully won't have to
go through and hopefully won't have to go through. Like, it's such an
go through. Like, it's such an unbelievable thing. The Vietnam War is
unbelievable thing. The Vietnam War is such an unbelievable thing to have to go
such an unbelievable thing to have to go through and the amount of things. It can
through and the amount of things. It can [ __ ] you up in so many different ways
[ __ ] you up in so many different ways that of course you have so much to talk
that of course you have so much to talk about it. Probably an infinite amount
about it. Probably an infinite amount that you could keep talking about it.
that you could keep talking about it. circle back, go back to the start and
circle back, go back to the start and talk about it all over again and you
talk about it all over again and you still wouldn't be able to get the bottom
still wouldn't be able to get the bottom of it and be able to heal fully from the
of it and be able to heal fully from the scars that you have had. I think it's so
scars that you have had. I think it's so important that even if you've gone
important that even if you've gone through stuff, I've gone through stuff
through stuff, I've gone through stuff with my family growing up where like
with my family growing up where like alcoholism was going through my family.
alcoholism was going through my family. There was so much anger, there was so
There was so much anger, there was so much suicide looming around. It just
much suicide looming around. It just felt like there was this monster looming
felt like there was this monster looming around our family all the time. like
around our family all the time. like this horrible entity that just kind of
this horrible entity that just kind of like lived with us that none of us
like lived with us that none of us talked about and none of us could
talked about and none of us could express and open up to each other about
express and open up to each other about and share loving feelings towards one
and share loving feelings towards one another. And now here I am at 35 years
another. And now here I am at 35 years old, soon to be 36, still talking about
old, soon to be 36, still talking about it in therapy, trying to unpack what the
it in therapy, trying to unpack what the [ __ ] happened to me when I was a kid,
[ __ ] happened to me when I was a kid, thinking that, oh, it couldn't have been
thinking that, oh, it couldn't have been that bad. and realizing that all the
that bad. and realizing that all the defensive strategies that you were
defensive strategies that you were making up for yourself as you were
making up for yourself as you were growing up and you didn't even realize
growing up and you didn't even realize they were there because you were just
they were there because you were just trying to survive as you were going
trying to survive as you were going through your day. And then it isn't
through your day. And then it isn't until you're older and you actually talk
until you're older and you actually talk about it that you realize that you're a
about it that you realize that you're a child of trauma and all these things
child of trauma and all these things that you've built up, all the sense of
that you've built up, all the sense of humor, the deflecting, the lack of um
humor, the deflecting, the lack of um building yourself up, the lack of
building yourself up, the lack of confidence, the overly humble about
confidence, the overly humble about everything kind of attitude that you've
everything kind of attitude that you've given yourself is all because of that
given yourself is all because of that because you didn't realize what you're
because you didn't realize what you're going through was something that like
going through was something that like your nervous system was in fight or
your nervous system was in fight or flight all the time. And I didn't
flight all the time. And I didn't realize it until now
realize it until now that those were the things I was going
that those were the things I was going through. And then you try and deal with
through. And then you try and deal with it as an adult and you're like, man, if
it as an adult and you're like, man, if only I could go back and figure it out
only I could go back and figure it out then, but you can't. And
then, but you can't. And oh, it's difficult, man.
oh, it's difficult, man. And I I still struggle with it like
And I I still struggle with it like constantly trying to figure out like
constantly trying to figure out like what I'm doing and where I am. And then
what I'm doing and where I am. And then you do something like YouTube and this
you do something like YouTube and this falls into your lap. doesn't fall into
falls into your lap. doesn't fall into your lap. Like obviously I had to work
your lap. Like obviously I had to work with it to make it happen, but the
with it to make it happen, but the amount of goodwill that has come my way
amount of goodwill that has come my way that you just sit down every day
that you just sit down every day thinking like, well, I don't deserve
thinking like, well, I don't deserve that. And it's not like there's an
that. And it's not like there's an imposttor syndrome to it as well, but
imposttor syndrome to it as well, but it's so much more than that. So much
it's so much more than that. So much more complex than that. And then you
more complex than that. And then you don't want to talk about it cuz you
don't want to talk about it cuz you think you're going to farm sympathy. You
think you're going to farm sympathy. You know, it's just this constant back and
know, it's just this constant back and forth in your head of what you should do
forth in your head of what you should do with it. So, it all boils over into,
with it. So, it all boils over into, okay, well, I need a break and I can't
okay, well, I need a break and I can't record anymore because I have no idea
record anymore because I have no idea who I am or what I'm doing and how I'm
who I am or what I'm doing and how I'm supposed to do it anymore. Oh god.
supposed to do it anymore. Oh god. Sorry. I don't mean to like dump on
Sorry. I don't mean to like dump on everyone watching, but this game
everyone watching, but this game definitely like hit something in me.
definitely like hit something in me. It was incredible.
It was incredible. It was so well written. I think the
It was so well written. I think the people who made this game deserve a ton
people who made this game deserve a ton of credit. Like their last game hit me
of credit. Like their last game hit me hard as well and I thought about it a
hard as well and I thought about it a lot after I played it, but this one is
lot after I played it, but this one is going to stick with me even longer. I
going to stick with me even longer. I think whatever they make, I'm on board.
think whatever they make, I'm on board. I'm down to play anything that this
I'm down to play anything that this studio makes or these people make
studio makes or these people make because everything they've been putting
because everything they've been putting out is just incredible. And I am so
out is just incredible. And I am so lucky that I get to play it and
lucky that I get to play it and experience it. Like this is actual art.
experience it. Like this is actual art. when you have characters like this and
when you have characters like this and you feel emotion like this and you go
you feel emotion like this and you go through an experience like this and it's
through an experience like this and it's so fundamental to the medium of video
so fundamental to the medium of video games as well to have a story like this
games as well to have a story like this and to experience it like this and be
and to experience it like this and be able to go through and like avoid your
able to go through and like avoid your demons and like struggle with the
demons and like struggle with the wheelchair and like that thing of him
wheelchair and like that thing of him actually struggling to move around in
actually struggling to move around in the wheelchair isn't just like clunky
the wheelchair isn't just like clunky mechanics like it adds so much to the
mechanics like it adds so much to the experience of the game. It adds to the
experience of the game. It adds to the narrative of what this person is going
narrative of what this person is going through. Even navigating your own house
through. Even navigating your own house is a struggle and trying to get away
is a struggle and trying to get away from your demons and your trauma is
from your demons and your trauma is really difficult. Um, and to be disabled
really difficult. Um, and to be disabled like that as well on top of it. And it's
like that as well on top of it. And it's like um, what Remains of Edith Finch,
like um, what Remains of Edith Finch, like just that interactivity, you can't
like just that interactivity, you can't really tell those stories if you just
really tell those stories if you just put them in a movie or a book. like the
put them in a movie or a book. like the actual interactivity and the moving
actual interactivity and the moving around and the stress and the timing of
around and the stress and the timing of everything that is fundamental to a
everything that is fundamental to a video game adds so much to this
video game adds so much to this experience. So, I'm just really glad I
experience. So, I'm just really glad I played it. I had it on my list since it
played it. I had it on my list since it came out. Uh it was like two weeks after
came out. Uh it was like two weeks after it came out. I was like, "Oh, the Love
it came out. I was like, "Oh, the Love Sam people made a new game. I should
Sam people made a new game. I should play that." And I just kept putting it
play that." And I just kept putting it off because I didn't have the time for
off because I didn't have the time for it or I was like, "I don't know if I
it or I was like, "I don't know if I want to play that right now and get into
want to play that right now and get into it." And I think right now is the
it." And I think right now is the perfect time to have played it because I
perfect time to have played it because I had the attention for it and I gave
had the attention for it and I gave myself over to it and it rewarded me so
myself over to it and it rewarded me so heavily with a story that like I know a
heavily with a story that like I know a lot of people out there don't want
lot of people out there don't want stories like this cuz it makes them sad
stories like this cuz it makes them sad and it makes them feel so heavily and a
and it makes them feel so heavily and a lot of you probably cried watching this
lot of you probably cried watching this but to me that's so fundamental to
but to me that's so fundamental to storytelling and art and artistic
storytelling and art and artistic integrity that you should feel difficult
integrity that you should feel difficult emotions when you're experiencing an
emotions when you're experiencing an artistic piece.
artistic piece. Like when people played Last of Us Part
Like when people played Last of Us Part Two and Joel died and then they were all
Two and Joel died and then they were all upset about it and angry about it and
upset about it and angry about it and I'm like good. Like that's that's
I'm like good. Like that's that's emotions bubbling up. Those are complex
emotions bubbling up. Those are complex emotions that you're trying to deal
emotions that you're trying to deal with. But that turned into anger for a
with. But that turned into anger for a lot of people against the game for
lot of people against the game for making them feel that. And I I feel like
making them feel that. And I I feel like that's such a missed opportunity to
that's such a missed opportunity to tackle
tackle deeper things. I'm so obsessed with the
deeper things. I'm so obsessed with the human experience and the deeper emotions
human experience and the deeper emotions of people and why people are the way
of people and why people are the way they are. And obviously talking about my
they are. And obviously talking about my upbringing and there's so much more like
upbringing and there's so much more like there's so many more things that make up
there's so many more things that make up who I am that I've just I don't want to
who I am that I've just I don't want to talk about that in videos,
talk about that in videos, but hopefully it's painting a picture a
but hopefully it's painting a picture a little bit about why I'm so interested
little bit about why I'm so interested in this stuff and why I want to put my
in this stuff and why I want to put my best foot forward and why I want to help
best foot forward and why I want to help people and learn more about myself and
people and learn more about myself and other people. And I just want to make I
other people. And I just want to make I want to make things to the best of my
want to make things to the best of my ability. But sometimes I don't have the
ability. But sometimes I don't have the best of my ability at my fingertips to
best of my ability at my fingertips to be able to do it. And that's why it
be able to do it. And that's why it knocks me harder than what it might seem
knocks me harder than what it might seem for other people. I mean, you don't know
for other people. I mean, you don't know what everybody's going through, but when
what everybody's going through, but when it knocks me, like it really knocks me.
it knocks me, like it really knocks me. Um, and I struggle with it even today.
Um, and I struggle with it even today. And things have gotten better, but it's
And things have gotten better, but it's like my therapist asked me one day like,
like my therapist asked me one day like, "Do you think your depression will ever
"Do you think your depression will ever go away?" Cuz for some people it
go away?" Cuz for some people it actually does. But for me, I never
actually does. But for me, I never thought that that was a possibility. I
thought that that was a possibility. I was like, well, if you have depression,
was like, well, if you have depression, you live with it for the rest of your
you live with it for the rest of your life. So, I just assumed that it would
life. So, I just assumed that it would be with me for the rest of my life. And
be with me for the rest of my life. And I genuinely do think it will be. I think
I genuinely do think it will be. I think things can get better. But I think just
things can get better. But I think just the way my brain is, it's always going
the way my brain is, it's always going to be there. And that can be a bit of a
to be there. And that can be a bit of a frightening thought. But I think
frightening thought. But I think it's that sort of like better the devil,
it's that sort of like better the devil, you know, kind of attitude. Maybe that's
you know, kind of attitude. Maybe that's the wrong phrase, but I think knowing
the wrong phrase, but I think knowing these things and dealing with them and
these things and dealing with them and facing them head on is so much healthier
facing them head on is so much healthier for me. Anyway, um this turned into
for me. Anyway, um this turned into something that I didn't expect it to.
something that I didn't expect it to. But thank you so much for watching.
But thank you so much for watching. Thank you to the developers for this
Thank you to the developers for this game. Please go buy the game. if you
game. Please go buy the game. if you have any interest at all and have
have any interest at all and have disposable income to do so because they
disposable income to do so because they really deserve all the sales. And I can
really deserve all the sales. And I can I can sit down and I can play it and you
I can sit down and I can play it and you can have an experience through here. But
can have an experience through here. But it would be such a shame if that's the
it would be such a shame if that's the only thing that came out of this was
only thing that came out of this was that one copy got sold and you guys
that one copy got sold and you guys watched it through me. I always feel a
watched it through me. I always feel a little guilty about that. So please, if
little guilty about that. So please, if you can and you want to, please go
you can and you want to, please go follow the devs, buy their games.
follow the devs, buy their games. They're cheap. They're not that hard to
They're cheap. They're not that hard to get and please wishlist whatever they
get and please wishlist whatever they make next because I think they're
make next because I think they're absolutely incredible and they're very
absolutely incredible and they're very vital to this medium and they go so
vital to this medium and they go so uh under the radar and I love them so
uh under the radar and I love them so much. Anyway, thank you so much for
much. Anyway, thank you so much for watching. I'll be back with something
watching. I'll be back with something else soon that will probably tug on the
else soon that will probably tug on the heartstrings again. I have a couple of
heartstrings again. I have a couple of games lined up that I know are going to
games lined up that I know are going to make me cry, but sometimes that's good.
make me cry, but sometimes that's good. Sometimes it's cathartic. Anyway, thank
Sometimes it's cathartic. Anyway, thank you so much for watching and I'll see
you so much for watching and I'll see you next time.
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