The core theme is that the questions we ask ourselves profoundly shape our focus, actions, and ultimately, the quality of our lives. By consciously choosing powerful questions, individuals can unlock insights, overcome challenges, and drive meaningful change.
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have you ever noticed how the questions
we ask ourselves can change everything
your questions determine your focus if
you focus on why something is not
working you will find the evidence that
it was not meant to work if you want to
change the quality of your life well
change the quality of the questions you
ask yourself in the world of coaching
asking the right questions can be the
key to unlocking profound insights and
Real Results for your clients it really
does not matter what you're going
through or what your client is going
through it does not matter if they're
young they're old it does not matter if
they feel lost or you feel lost helping
them these coaching questions will bring
them right back on track I have had the
blessing of training over 15,000 coaches
in my different coaching methodologies
and today I will show you some of the
best questions you can ask your clients
that will get real results for your
clients pretty quickly let's get started
the first question is what does your
ideal perfect day look like see many of
us set goals with big hopes we write
down huge dreams I want to make a
million dollars or I want to have super
strong six-packs and muscles with these
goals we make time frames to reach them
too like saying I'll get there in 6
months or in one year but here's the
hard part when the goal feels very far
away it's hard to stay excited the big
space between what we have today and our
far away goal makes it hard to wake up
every morning ready to work hard and if
we don't work on it every single day we
can't actually reach the goal I see this
happen again and again with many people
have helped many clients have worked
with many coaches I worked with they
know exactly what they want and they
really really genuinely want it but when
it comes time to do the work they get
stuck the problem isn't that they don't
want it enough it's that they have
trouble staying excited every day which
actually makes it hard to keep going day
after day after day so how do we fix
this instead of only thinking about the
end goal let's ask a different
question what would your perfect day
look like at first people will talk
about the fun things like their Perfect
Vacation walk on the beach all day long
that's okay it's a good place to start
but as they think more ask them to
picture a day that makes them really
genuinely happy and means something a
day that gets them excited matches what
they love to do and shows how they would
want to live every single day not just
once in a while for a week help them
think about all the little Parts like
how would they start their day what time
would they really wake up what kind of
fun work would they like to do who would
they work with how would they spend time
with their friends their family or other
people that they might love what fun
activities would make them really happy
how would they feel good
when the day ends what's the feeling
they would have when the day ends for
example someone might say my perfect day
starts at 6:00 in the morning with a
quiet cup of coffee or somebody else
might say I'll wake up at 9:00 a.m. with
a nice slow morning and I don't like
coffee there's no right or wrong answers
what's important is that they can see it
clearly helping them paint a bright
picture of their perfect day when
someone designs this perfect day it
feels more real than a farway goal now
instead of waking up to chase something
years away months away they can wake up
and ask how can I make today more like
my perfect ey even if they only get half
or most of their perfect day they're
living closer to their dream life this
way helps connect what they do every day
to their Big Dreams for example if they
dream of having someone drive them to
work they'll need to make enough money
to pay for that what can they do today
to move towards that life if they want
to feel strong and healthy what good
habits can they start now to be more
like their future self by focusing on
the process the Little Steps each day
that match their perfect life they can
make the journey a lot more fun the Big
Goal might still take some time but the
path to get there becomes more exciting
because you can actually see the path
you can follow the path which brings me
to the second question which is what am
I missing by choosing to be afraid see
most of us pick fear and being afraid
every single day and it's not because we
like choosing fear we like being afraid
that's not the case it's something that
we do without actually even thinking
about it you see if you notice every
time you see a gap between what you have
and what you want you start to worry you
think you will not get it when somebody
says something to you about you you
start to worry if you get late to work
you start to worry there are certain
things that you may have to do to
achieve your goals but they are so scary
that now you don't want to do them and
you feel afraid you might be scared of
talking to someone or meeting with
someone or doing things you want to do
but it's so scary that you get scared
and and so you don't really actually end
up doing it here's something else that
we don't notice is that every time we
fearful of something we afraid of
something it costs us something and
because we never really evaluate that
cost we actually end up wasting a lot
more time worrying and being afraid then
to actually take some action and move
towards the goal and the life you want
so if you can bring the attention of
what we missing it helps us think less
about the fear of rejection and being
afraid and more about what we are
missing out on every single day that be
acting from a place of fear and worry
let's take an example so see if every
single day you're afraid of posting say
on social media what's happening now is
that you're missing out on being able to
share your message with the world or
maybe you are looking for a life partner
but you're afraid to go out and reach
out to meet people so what you're
missing out is a life that you could
have with this wonderful partner so what
we really doing is we are bringing
attention to what you're missing out on
as a future Life by not taking action so
what it brings attention to is something
that hopefully with that fear of missing
out on the future life will create
action towards creating the future life
that we want usually I'm not someone who
likes the topic of fear of missing out
but what this particular question does
it allows our clients and ourselves to
see that there's a future life that
you're missing out on every single time
we stay away from action so it helps us
displace worry it helps us displace fear
and be able to act because we now know
that we're not taking the action we
should be taking which brings me to the
third question which is to ask yourself
and your clients what is the most
important thing here this one is really
interesting more often than not what you
may notice with my clients I've noticed
is especially when it comes to business
is that people start working on the
wrong problems because they're easier to
fix or they're right in front of them
let me explain one time I was working
with a client who really really thought
that the thing that is not working for
her in their business was her social
media and because of that they were
constantly thinking about how they would
work on social media they were trying to
solve that problem and they kept working
on it and working on getting some
followers getting some more engagement
and as I was coaching them I asked them
a question I was like what is the
problem that we actually trying to fix
here and they said well our cash flow is
down we need to make more money and I
said okay so if your problem is money
what is making your money right now
interestingly the client answered well
it's ads so I said so if money is coming
from ads if that's where you get your
money that's where the cash flow is
really coming from and you're seeing
less money come in and that's the
problem you want to
fix shouldn't you be fixing ad
first see what happens is or what
happened in this case is whatever was
easier to fix or whatever was in right
in front of this client of mine they
just said I'm going to go fix that
without stopping and asking if that was
even the problem worth solving here is
what happens in the world of problem
solving some of us will fix the wrong
problems because we identify the wrong
problems and we call them the right
problems and then we solve them the
wrong way now this is the worst place to
be in because you're not only working on
the wrong problem you're actually
working on it on the wrong way and so
you're not getting anywhere some of us
will go okay I might find the right
problem and then they will find the
right problem like in this scenario the
client found the right problem was ads
but then they will find the quickest
solution they could find and hence end
up solving it the wrong way and they're
again in the same situation because
maybe they found the right problem but
they're fixing the wrong way but
sometimes they they find the wrong
problem and they actually start solving
the right way so they might have found
social media to be the fix they want to
do in this particular example but they
solve it the right way so they have the
right tools they know how to grow it and
so on so forth so they're solving the
wrong problem but the right way so it
feels really right the key to success is
to find the right problem and then solve
it the right way so it's very important
for you at any given time to help your
client identify what is the right
problem and are they solving it the
right way and that is the most important
thing the most important thing always in
a business is to find the right problem
and the right fix for that right problem
so spending a little bit more time
really finding what's important what is
the right problem what is the right fix
helps more than jumping to the first fix
you can think of which brings me to the
fourth question and that is to ask
yourself in time will this matter 90% of
all things you worry about all the
problems we're trying to fix won't
matter a year from now it's hard to
believe but it's true all that worry in
your mind all that stress your feeling
or that client is feeling doesn't really
matter in the long term let me tell you
about a time when I couldn't think about
anything except a problem at work I
spent so many hours working on something
and when it went wrong I felt like
everything was terrible I couldn't sleep
at night I couldn't eat I even got mad
at people I cared about but guess what
happened 6 months later I couldn't even
remember exactly what went wrong what
felt so huge and scary back then became
just just a tiny memory I barely
remembered the same thing happens with
big events or big goals after some time
goes by you forget how important they
seem you forget how happy they made you
or how much you celebrated them this
question in time will it matter
completely changed how I dealt with hard
times mistakes it even fights with
people and it can change your life too
first thing to know is that our brains
make problems look bigger than they are
when they're actually happening it's how
our brains try to keep us safe but
sometimes it tricks us asking yourself
will this matter in 5 years in one year
even in one month help's just step back
and see the whole picture better when
you stop and think about what really
matters over time you start making
different choices you don't get too
upset about small things you stop using
up your energy on things that won't make
you happy or help you reach your goals
in the long run so next time you think
everything is going wrong or even when
you're just feeling really mad stop stop
for a second and ask yourself in time
will this matter you might be amazed at
how clearly you can think when you ask
this one really simple question which
brings me to the fifth question and that
is what do you
love most of us spend our time running
after things trying to get people to
notice us wanting to be famous or
wanting to get money fast somehow really
fast thinking these things will make us
happy but here's a truth none of those
things will make us happy for a long
time think about having someone special
in your life if you try to find someone
just because they look good to other
people or match what others think is
right it's usually not the right person
for you the same is true when picking
jobs or setting goals when we Chase what
looks good and what's easy we miss out
on what really makes us happy
so instead of asking what will get me
money fastest what will make people pay
attention to me what if you ask yourself
what do I
love when you work from a place of love
everything is different you stop looking
for a quick fix and stop caring so much
about what other people think instead
you spend your time your energy and
things you have on what makes you most
excited that's where you find the energy
to keep going that's where you find the
strength to keep going when you do what
you love you show up every day feeling
like what you do actually matters you're
not just trying to get results you're
living a life that feels special to you
and funny enough that's often when good things
things
happen not because you're pushing for
them but because you're doing what you
really care about loving what you do
makes a life you love and isn't that
what we are all really trying to get to
wake up every day excited about life we
are making so bring your attention and
your client's attention back to this
question what do you
love because if you don't love it you
probably won't stick with it and if your
heart's not in it even if you get what
you want it won't feel good love is what
makes you excited gives you a reason to
do things and makes you feel
complete St there and let everything
else follow
which interestingly brings me to the
sixth question which is what can you do
with what you have this is one of the
most powerful questions I ever learn too
often too often we focus on what we
can't do because we think we don't have
enough right have you noticed that about
yourself or your clients maybe you have
told yourself I can't be good at social
media because I don't look right right I
can't be a speaker because I talk
different these were real things I used
to believe about myself by the way and I
see the same in the people I help
they'll say I'm too old I'm too young
I'm too busy I'm not smart enough I'm
too smart for this these are all just
blocks we put in our way stopping us
stopping us from seeing what we could do
but here's the truth the only thing you
can work on are things that you can
control this idea which comes from very
old and wise thinking really helped when
you or the people you help feel stuck
instead of thinking about what you can't
do think about what you can do so ask
yourself what can I do with what I have
look at the good things around you they
might be your brain skills your ideas or
how creative you are you might have some
people skills like friends and
connections and people you know it could
be some body skills like tools places
even your health some money things like
any money you can use or save ask with
everything I have right now
what can I do this new way of thinking
brings Freedom it takes away the heavy
feelings of not having enough and shows
you a new way to grow and get better
here's why this question helps so much
we all want to feel like we have control
even though sometimes it's good to let
go of control our minds feel safe when
we know what's going to happen when we
feel unsafe or not in control it's hard
to do important things or feel good
about doing them thinking about what you
can control what you can do with what
you have makes you feel safe and when
you feel safe you can act with
confidence with freedom and even Joy so
the next time you feel stuck or the next
time someone you are helping feel stuck
ask them what can you do with what you
actually have it's not about what you're
missing it's about what you could do
right now which brings me to seventh
question this is who are you really this
is one of the deepest questions anyone
has ever asked me it totally changed my
life it really did when you ask yourself
who are you really it makes you look
beyond your title beyond your job beyond
your work beyond your business it makes
you think about who you really are a
real person behind all the names and all
the labels and all the titles let me
tell you a story it was December 31st
2014 and night I'll never forget I was
walking the streets of colur Malaysia
where I was living at at the time I and
as I walked through the busy streets I
saw a woman in really ceremonial clothes
she looked right at me walked up to me
and asked who are you no matter how hard
I tried I couldn't say anything except
my name and my job title then which was
CEO I was running a company back then
but she didn't stop there she kept
looking into my eyes and kept asking me
the same question who are you who are
you and after the third the fourth time
she asked me that question I felt a
little shaken up I realized I didn't
have a real answer to that moment made
me start looking for the truth about who
I really was beyond just what people
could see this question is hard to
answer especially if you never thought
about it deeply before even for people
who have thought about it a lot
answering it can feel very uncomfortable
because it makes you face parts of
yourself you might not fully understand
when I ask people I help who are you
really and I ask it again again again
pushing them past their first few
answers they often get to a point where
they say I don't know and that's okay
actually it's a really good thing that I
don't know is a start of finding out who
they really are this journey of finding
yourself is super important for your
personal growth for your spiritual
growth the right answer to this question
can change how someone sees everything
it can help them see what they can
really do what they really want and what
really matters to them in a way that
changes how they live and how they
lead if you want to help people you work
with or even yourself feel this big
change keep asking the question who are
you really don't take the first easy
answers keep asking until they stop
talking about the jobs or the simple
answers the straightforward what you can
see on the face answers and start
looking for who they really are deep
down and if they say I don't know
celebrate that it's not failing it's the
beginning of the journey so I leave you
with this question who are you really
which brings me also to the eighth
question which is what can I do today to
make my current self more like my future
self most of us live stuck in how we are
right now this version of us the one we
know and live as today does things
without thinking we go through our life
Like A Clockwork doing the same thing
having the same habits and following the
same patterns day after day after day
after day
but we also have a future version of
ourselves we are dreaming about becoming
a version that feels more right somehow
fits better and feels more successful
feels more happy the hard part is that
this future self often feels so far away
it almost feels like it's not real it's
just like a dream or an idea so how do
we close this Gap it's by getting very
specific start by asking who am I today
write down how you act what you know how
to do what habits you have right now and
then ask who do I want to be in the
future describe that future you in
detail what does that version of you
know do or show up as that the current
self doesn't once you have made these
two versions of yourself clear figure
out what actions and changes you need to
make to close the gap what do you need
to learn what habits do you need to
start what changes in how you think will
bring you closer to that future you the
clearer the idea is the easier it is to
know what to do when working with
someone you are helping guide them
through this process ask what can you do
today to be more like your future self
what habits can you start what old ways
of thinking or acting do you need to
stop to become that future self future
version of yourself big changes happen
when you stop seeing your future self as
just a dream start matching your daily
actions to that dream by taking small
steps towards your future self every day
you start to close the gap between where
where you are and where you want to be
so ask yourself or the people you help a
simple but really powerful question what
can you do today to move closer to the
Future you
want which brings us to the ninth
question and that is am I doing this to
get people to notice me and like me or
am I doing this because I really love
doing it in today's world many of us
want people to see us and like us we
want others to say good things about us
whether it's our friends whether it's
our family it could be our work friends
or even people we don't know on the
internet we want to feel that others see
us and and hear us and understand us we
want them to know that we are good and
want us to experience our goodness and
like what we do and while there's
nothing wrong with wanting people to
like us we should ask is this why we
doing things are you doing things
because you love doing them or are you
trying to get something that you can't
control getting famous and getting
noticed are things you can't protect
they might happen right away they may
take many years or never happen at all
they might even happen for reasons you
didn't plan reasons that don't match
what you really want to do I've seen
people who suddenly got lots of
attention for quick silly things and
here's what we should ask does that
attention makes them happy or would it
feel better to do something you really
love even if nobody ever notices you and
you focus on doing the work the passion
the skill you stay close to what matters
if if you get famous or people notice
you that's just something extra not the
main goal this way feels more real and
makes you feel good in the way that
other people saying nice things can't
really match so ask yourself this am I
doing this because I love it or because
I want others to love me for doing it if
nobody ever noticed my work would I
still be doing this work when your
answer comes from loving what you do
you'll find you're already winning no
matter who notices stop asking how can I
get people to see me and start asking
how can I really enjoy and love what I
do people might or might not notice you
but you'll feel happy when you're doing
what you really really
love which brings me to the 10th
question which is to ask yourself what
can I learn from this life life is full
of different things that happen both
good and bad many of these things we
can't really control but we can control
how we choose to react and what we
choose to learn from them when things
don't go like you planned when someone
you're helping is hurting or when you
yourself are having a hard time stop and
ask what can I learn from this the
simple question helps you stop feeling
upset and start being
curious it helps you stop fighting
against what's happening and start
growing from it everything that happens
no matter how hard it is has something
to teach you you might not see it right
away but it's there if you want to look
for it what smart ideas can you find in
what happened what wisdom is waiting for
you to discover instead of asking why is
this happening to me try thinking about
it why is this happening to help
me be curious trust that there is a
reason this thing is happening in your
life it might be here to teach you to be
strong to be patient or to understand
yourself or others better when you look
at hard times as chances to learn you
turn them into steps that help you grow
and when you do this you help yourself
and the people you help handle life's
ups and downs with more grace and with
purpose so the next time life feels
heavy and you're not sure what's next
remember to ask what can I learn from
this which brings me to the final
question what does help look and feel
like most of us don't know how to ask
for help or even what help really looks
or feels like for us nobody taught us
how for many people asking for help
makes them feel like they're weak when
really it shows that they are strong
life isn't meant to be lived alone it's
meant to be lived with people which is
why getting help really matters but
here's the hard part if you don't know
what help looks and feels like how can
you know when you see it or ask for it
I've thought about this question myself
and I've learned that the kind of help
that I need changes as my life changes
the help I need at work looks different
from the help I need in personal life or
with my family and this is true for
everyone help isn't the same for
everyone it's it's really personal this
is why it's good to ask yourself and the
people around you what does help look
and feel like for you right now when
someone can say what help means to them
they can ask for it clearly and with
confidence they stop waiting for others
to guess what they need and start making
changes and communicate for real
connection and help think about it like
this is emotional like having someone
listen and understand is it practical
like having someone help a task or
decision is it something else like
having a teacher a partner or just
someone being there once they or you can
say what help means right now it's
easier to look for it and when we
actively ask for the help we need we can
open up new chances to grow succeed and
feel happy so I leave you with this
final question what does help look and
feel like for you know what it is look
for it and see it as something that
makes you strong not weak before we wrap
up I want you to know something really
important you just learned 11 powerful
questions that can change your life but
here's the thing just knowing these
questions isn't enough these questions
are like keys they can open doors to a
better life but only if you use them
only if you take action think about these
these
questions right now you might be sitting
in your room or maybe you're on your way
somewhere you might be feeling a little
stuck maybe unsure or even a little
scared about your next steps that's okay
that's perfectly normal but now with
these questions you have tools real
powerful tools that have helped many
people just like you find their way so
here's what I want you to do right after
this video ends pick just one of these
questions anyone you feel like the one
that spoke to you the most maybe it's uh
what do you love or who are you really
whatever question made your heart beat a
little faster felt a little scary maybe
that's your question write it down put
it somewhere you'll see it for the next
few days maybe on your mirror or maybe
by your bed or set it as your phone
background just for a few days and
tomorrow morning when you wake up ask
yourself that question really think
about the answer take some notes take
some small steps just one based on what
you learn by asking that question
remember you don't have to have
everything figured out you don't need to
change your whole life today that's not
the point you just need to take that
first step because here's the truth
inside you right now is everything you
need to start creating the life you want
it really do these questions will help
you find it bring it out but you have to
take the action you have to start so can
I ask you to join me can I ask you to
take that first step because your future
self is waiting and trust me that
cheering you on [Music]
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