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Why Modern Dating Sucks
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you're going to be putting yourself out
there by letting your date go through
your phone before they meet you okay
she's going to look through your phone
first i feel like he is shorter
shorter
than me he has the weirdest [ __ ] in here
do you screenshots everything like it's
just a slight bit creepy obviously she
thinks she's
she's cute that's for sure all these
different angles and all that dude he is
so judgy
like i was nice to him man if i could
have followed this clip with her saying
i'm so wonderful why won't anyone date
me that would have been the perfect
self-awareness fail i know i only showed
one clip of him compared to the three
clips i showed of her but everything he
said about her was so mild he even
compliments her i'm sure she's fantastic
he actually does this multiple times
during the video while she fails to give
him a single compliment that didn't have
some caveat to it oh wait listen to this
what do you look for in a partner um
someone that's also open and honest
actions speak louder than words a lot of
people like her say they want honesty
when they don't actually want it which
is why they don't end up with partners
who are honest this chick got offended
when all the guy said was wow she takes
a lot of photos of herself imagine what
would happen if someone started digging
into her real flaws like how
narcissistic she is or imagine if he had
made negative comments about appearance
factors that she can't change like she
did when she called austin short
anyway this video was done by cut a
youtube channel that makes a lot of
content based on people being super
direct with each other which makes their
dating videos very entertaining in this
video chloe and austin are going to meet
for the first time by looking through
each other's phones would you worry
about your date seeing on your phone i
didn't really have a chance to like
delve through my photos at all well that
was a mistake i know the turnaround
times for these internet shows is like
one or two days but i can imagine that
if i was going on a channel with
millions of subscribers to film a video
that might get millions of views i would
curate my phone immediately
the way the rest of this works out is
one person will look at the phone while
the other person is in a separate room
with headphones on listening in chloe
goes first let's
you watch say hi hi hey he says hey try
not to drop my phone he says try not to
drop my phone okay we should have put a
protector on it great they haven't even
started and the date is already over he
communicates that he doesn't trust her
by insinuating that she would drop his
phone and instead of making a joke of it
because this is someone she just met she
gets offended more so on the tone of her
voice she could have said pretty much
those exact words jokingly which would
have defused the situation and made
things way more fun so both of them
failed here good interactions generally
don't start with negativity but honestly
i think that was kind of the point of
this social experiment which is why cut
frame the date in a way that they knew
would cause drama why don't you go to
photos you can see what it looks like
okay i'm just looking at selfies right
now oh he works out he's at a gym or
maybe like a home gym yeah i have a sweet
sweet
home gym set up he says he works out
yeah a little bit it looks like you can
tell she's not impressed by the tone of
her voice when the guy from cut said he
says he works out she responded yeah a
little bit it looks like versus
something more positive like yeah a
little bit it looks like
see how the tonality changes what she
means and this is the exact reason why i
think people should stop using dating
apps meeting someone on a computer
removes tons of context and that seems
to pretty consistently frame potential
relationships negatively for one people
get overly judgmental about appearance
because it's the only real useful
information that these apps provide i
feel like he is shorter
shorter
than me he looks like he is anywhere
from five seven to five ten maybe five
10. this is definitely the worst part of
dating apps yes height is an important
factor for women and i think it's
perfectly fine for her to say that she
doesn't want to date someone who she
thinks is too short however he's not
that much shorter than her i'm not five
seven i'm not five eight i'm like five
nine and a quarter so how tall are you
chloe i'm 5 10. oh yeah she tower right
over me at least he's willing to make a
joke of it but he's only an inch shorter
tons of women out there are okay with
dating a guy who is two or three inches
shorter which is within austin's range
everyone has those little gray areas of
things they will accept that are outside
of their preferences what makes people
go against their physical preferences a
person's personality personality is a
huge factor in attractiveness that can
make a person's score go up or down and
it's completely missing from most of the
vetting in dating apps all you get are a
couple of pictures and a few lines about
who they are and what they want you
don't get to hear the tone of their
voice you don't get their body language
or mannerisms and you don't really get
traits like sense of humor if austin and
chloe first met in person instead of
over a screen and he made her laugh she
might be completely willing to forget
her preference for a taller guy
for example here's a video where three
girls did a speed date with a tall guy
and a short guy several times and the
short guys won more often than the tall
guys did because of their personalities
anthony yes i feel like you are
extremely attractive you got that going
on but you haven't had to really develop
your personality much personality wise brent
brent
brent was breaking it today and i'm
saying somebody who can make you laugh
but he kind of seemed more honest brett
i think he might have won this round [Music]
[Music]
oh god it's good brent
i might chill with you because you sound
like you're a little freak yeah okay
the last girl picked the tall guy but do
you see how much of a difference that
can make both the girls said they wanted
a tall guy when they started
i definitely like
tallman for like you have to be
significantly taller than me height does
everything for me i mean i'm thinking
about breeding like naturally as a woman
i'm thinking about okay can this man
have my babies and is it gonna give me
strong strapping sons without this
contextual information during your first
experience of the person everything just
becomes about who is most physically
attractive with no consideration for the
personality traits that make people attractive
attractive
those same personality traits that tell
you that you're a fit for a specific person
person
much better than appearance does
removing that context is why you are
getting tons of superficial and garbage
relationships from dating apps okay
enough of my rant on tinder let's get
back to the show um he has lots of
pictures of girls on here lots of
screenshots he has the weirdest [ __ ] in
here like there's a picture of a girl on
a bike with her ass out austin why are
you taking screenshots of women with
their butts out uh
pops up on my feed maybe i want to share
it with my
fellow brethren uh yeah he has those
pictures for research purposes nothing else
else
now remember he did say that he didn't
clear out his pictures before this video
if this clothed picture that i can't
show because of youtube's inconsistent
monetization policy is the worst he has
then his pornography use is probably
pretty tame if pornography uses
something that offends her and it sounds
like it does because she mentions him
wanting to look at other girls a lot
then this guy is probably a pretty
decent pick
anyway that's everything interesting
that happens with austin's phone let's
move on to chloe's are you ready for him
to go through your phone yeah my phone
is like mild compared to that
that
my videos are scripted so obviously i've
seen the whole cell phone date by the
time you're hearing me speak so let me
just say that her phone definitely has
more damning material in it than
austin's does
do you want him to start going through
your phone go for it
your battery's low as far charge your
phone it's all in red this [ __ ] about
to die
she does the whole like personalization
thing with like what are these called
widgets yeah it's cute it's kind of
basic oh my god he's hella rude man he
just goes right for it he's right that
is super basic
obviously these two have no chance with
each other so the rest of this is just
going to be about the drama
not to say that she didn't deserve this
behavior from him the whole time she
looked through his phone she didn't say
a single positive thing outside of this
backhanded compliment okay so he looks
cuter in his hinge profile than he does
like in his personal selfies yeah he
looks cute when he doesn't suck at
taking photos
compare that to austin's commentary
let's just start with instagram
athlete founder of define beauty brand
is that like your personal business or
it is oh neat that's kind of cool see
how his demeanor is different from hers
she trashed him the entire time but at
least he said hey that's cool she has a
business and his compliments didn't have
footnotes like hers did now i'm a little
older than him so i know that when
someone puts founder of define beauty
brand in their profile there's like a 99
chance that they don't run a successful
business seeing that i can't find this
alleged brand anywhere on google it
probably means it's not successful also
looking at her instagram she might be
the only person in history to ever lose
followers after being in a video with
3.7 million views on it i don't know
maybe it's a different account which
would be a terrible branding mistake on
her part she has a tick tock where she
lip syncs other people's content
very creative
oh look she's a yoga teacher now i know
she's definitely not successful i was in
that industry almost nobody makes good
money as a yoga teacher
also when she was looking at austin's
phone she said that she was a trainer
that job has a massive turnover rate and
again almost nobody succeeds in it by
comparison to the number of people who
try fitness picks she's feeling herself
yep she got yup yeah she's yolked
bigger than you she can beat the [ __ ]
out of me for sure
wait did she just spend all that time
commenting on how offended she was by
the pictures of women in his phone when
she stores a bunch of pictures of her
ass and hers how lacking in
self-awareness could she be
it gets even better now unfortunately
again puritanical youtube will probably
punish me if i show the other photos she
takes of herself but trust me those
photos are much worse than the stuff
that she complained about on his phone
i'll show the clip for context but i
have to censor it so if you want the
full context you can just watch the
actual video from cut oh i see some ass
there's a lot of skin going on here
this was actually a pleasant surprise
for me i thrive on hypocritical gotcha
moments and her hypocrisy with the
photos right there was just perfect
here's something that doesn't make sense
to me though there are two things that
chloe is here for one she's here to
possibly go on a date and two she's
obviously here to promote her instagram
because she said her full name whereas
austin didn't hi my name is austin my
name is chloe holders and she had them
show her instagram account with all her
information what's odd about this is
that judging by the photos on her
instagram that i can show of her she at
least has some fashion sense so why is
she dressed up like it's laundry day for
this video this is supposed to be a
first date
though considering that austin isn't
dressed that well either i'm not really
sure how committed they are but still
they both knew they were going to be on
film so why did they especially her
considering that she's here to promote
her brand dress so poorly i mean
obviously she thinks she's
she's cute that's for sure all these
different angles and all that dude he is
so judgy
like i was nice to him he's being super
tame with this feedback and she can't
even handle that the most hilarious
thing about this is that she's trying to
be a professional tic talker and
instagram model chloe take it from
someone who makes a living in the field
that you want to be in if you can't
handle mildly negative feedback then you
don't belong on the internet as an
influencer based on what i've seen of
your content you aren't a good creator
and you are far too narcissistic to
listen to the kind of feedback from
people that will help you build the
skill required to be a success pick
something else instead of wasting years
of your life failing at this
like be a nurse that's a pretty lateral
move from fitness nurses also make a ton
of money and they have a lot of
flexibility in their schedules i stress
that last part because of this what else
cc in her photos what do you mean what
else it's all her
and some babies
are these yours you got a kid
yes i have a son she has a son you got a
whole baby do you have any kids
no i still live with the parents
oh [ __ ]
i know people are going to crap on him
for living with his parents but come on
she has a kid and a job that definitely
doesn't make her a living she probably
lives with her parents too now for me
this whole thing was over the minute i
saw her wearing that concert t-shirt to
a first date not dressing nice says that
you don't care but she also has a kid
hard pass provided that she's not
widowed which i doubt she is this means
that she either destroyed that
relationship with her own toxic behavior
or she is terrible at picking good
mentally stable relationship partners it
also means that she is likely
irresponsible with contraceptives
because she looks young and i doubt that
this kid was planned would you ever date
someone who has a kid uh probably not
now why not i'm a child myself
i'm sure she's fantastic guys don't want
that kind of baggage and before all the
single mothers watching this have a
meltdown i've talked to women before
about this subject women who don't have
kids generally don't want guys with kids
from a previous relationship either so
you don't get to create your own baggage
and then insist that a guy without
baggage has to date you
basically you should be sticking to guys
who are also single parents let's just
i'll just go i'll go [ __ ] hands let's
go dating apparent dating app let's do
it i got two likes in the queue
looking like an idiot liked your photo
oh [ __ ] i'm messing this dude right now
hey cutie
you plus me tonight
does he also have a kid hey kid for kid
there you guys go you guys can have like
dates to kids
that's awesome how ironic judging by the
way she reacted she doesn't want the
single dad seeing how little
self-awareness chloe had during this
entire video i doubt she understands
that this guy she doesn't want is the
kind of guy who was at her level and by
the way excellent move from austin that
little bit of his was good for views
alright now it's time for them to meet
i'm sure they're dying to see each other
all right are you ready to meet uh
uh
that guy asking the question laughed
like he already knew that this was
supposed to be the result of the video
though i'm sure most of us could have
guessed that what's cracking chloe
what'd you find on this phone i just a
lot of screenshots
screenshots
naked women i don't have naked photos
photos
a little bit risque but like you know
did you even find my risque photos 100
you actually look better in person your
selfie game is a little like 100 percent
my photos are garbage do you see how
this guy was able to self-criticize by
saying his photos look like crap but she
doesn't make the connection on how it's
hypocritical that she criticized him for
having sexual photos on his phone when
she does the same thing i mean chloe
come on i'm really trying to be fair
here and say at least one good thing
about you like i tried to in all my
other videos but i can't find anything
i've watched the video like five times
now looking for something good and the
most positive thing i could find was
simply her being realistic about him not
wanting someone with a kid would you two
not even like a little like a quick coffee
coffee no
no no
no
i know i think you're nice i think
you're funny yeah yeah you're just a
little rude just
a lot
but definitely not each other's type and
like i have a kid and if that's like an
absolute no then
then goodbye geez can you say just one
positive thing about this guy without
mixing it with something negative uh
you're really funny but you're rude she
says this while at the same time being
completely oblivious to her own behavior
chloe was incredibly rude during this
video both of them were rude but even so
austin was quite a bit nicer and a lot
of his behavior was just in response to
hers you get back the energy that you
give off chloe but i guess it's good
that she didn't flip out about him not
wanting a single mom
again though this is why i don't like
dating apps i think they encourage this
kind of negative behavior particularly
in women because they have like 10 times
as many options as guys do are you
looking for love yes i mean i'm single
so i
am on dating apps i talk to lots of guys
when you talk to a lot of guys and have
an obscene number of options people tend
to get overly picky or paralyzed from
the overwhelming amounts of choice
then you add in the fact that you have
very limited information on these
choices so you'll look for factors that
are irrelevant to the ability to foster
a good relationship like how good a guy
is at taking selfies instead of focusing
on whether your personalities match or
not back in the day when relationships
were more successful people used to find
their relationship partners through
their social groups this way instead of
meeting a bunch of randos on the
internet your friends and family would
vet your partners for you by using their
network which adds the context of
personality into the process yeah that
means you'll have fewer choices but the
choices you do get will be much higher
quality so less of your time is wasted
and like i said having an overwhelming
number of choices is not a good thing
that tends to give people a pessimistic
or dismissive attitude they don't feel
the need to put in the effort because
they can be on a date with someone else
tomorrow that framing for the date
matters because framing is everything
for those of you who don't know what
framing is framing is basically how you
present an idea speaking of cut and the
importance of framing there's another
social experiment they did where people
in the fashion industry rated people's
appearance you can watch how these two
professionals say pretty much the exact
same thing to these people but get
different responses the reason they get
different responses is all in the
framing watch this scene where they
comment on a guy who is wearing really
ugly pants we'll start with the woman
first who was a former model
how you feeling today i'm feeling great
i'm wearing purple funky pants
yes they are funky alright it doesn't go together
together
shows me that you're very comfortable
but stay comfortable in your house damn
your insight is very good in some
situations but honestly like i don't
give a flying [ __ ] this is just like my
drip and i still love myself so
i can tell
wow that was pretty bad now personally i
agree with what she said but the problem
is that he didn't accept the idea and he
actually got pissed off at her feedback
let's see how funky pants guy responds
to the modeling scout hi hi there let's
take a look and see how your walk is and
then we can determine whether or not
maybe a runway might be a good thing for you
you
can you smile
okay a lot of work to do on him for
runway i mean listen if we lost the
pajama pants and the extra large jacket
on him he could absolutely go out to
clients with a good haircut thank you
you got it nice meeting you you too do
you see how much different the response
was when funky pants guy was told his
outfit didn't look good listen to what
the modeling scout said you have no
charisma change your hair don't wear
that jacket and those pants suck he
actually criticized pajama pants guy
more than the lady did but instead of
telling him to [ __ ] off like he did with
the woman he actually thanks the
modeling scout which means he is way
more likely to take the advice from the
guy whereas with a woman he is
definitely not taking her advice framing
matters just like the method that you
use to find relationship partners
matters just like how you begin an
interaction matters i mean look at the
difference in how these two introduce
themselves hello hi you feel comfortable
ranking people's attractiveness oh yeah
like my parents will say i don't know
what it's like to be shy that really
helped me a lot with my modeling career
i modeled for
about six years but now i'm a mother of five
five
and hey this is me now a little negative
and a little self-centered not terrible
but not optimal i don't think she's a
bad person like i do with chloe but she
is severely outclassed in communication
skills by comparison to the modeling
scout let's see how he introduces
himself tell me what you're doing here
today today i'm going to determine who's
going to be marketable for modeling in
the fashion industry how do you measure
someone's attractiveness i've been
scouting models for several decades now
i'm going to be looking at height first
size second not are they good looking
everybody's good looking
in their own way
i'm just here to determine whether or
not somebody can make money doing it i
like how he answered that question
because what it communicates is that
he's looking out for the person he's
criticizing he does say it sarcastically
but what he essentially says is yeah
there are a lot of people who are more
attractive than others but what i'm
going to do is figure out what the most
attractive thing about you is and help
you highlight it which is what he does
this whole video that energy of i care
about you is a big part of the reason
why he gets better responses from people
it also affects how he introduces
himself to the people he's giving
feedback to get over there and hit your mark
mark
give us a spin
nobody comes out wearing that outfit and
isn't trying to show off and make sure
that everybody sees her what's your name
i'm joanna have you ever tried to get
into this industry i have not no in this
industry because of your hype that's
going to be the first thing that's going
to take you down hi there hi how old are
you 26 what's your name tyler you do
have a great face those big giant brown
eyes i like that you got the scruff
going on
i would say if you were going to get
into this industry you would need to
grow a little bit taller
very high energy very positive seems
like he's happy to see people and comes
in with strong compliments that don't
sound fake he also uses humor to lighten
the mood when he's giving critical
feedback this shows that he cares about
who he's talking to
people can tell what your thoughts are
without you explicitly saying them
because it shows up in your expressions
and your behaviors so if you don't have
the right mindset people are going to know
know
let's see how the lady does could you
turn around a little bit okay
i like your dress it looks very good on
you joanna you seem nervous are you shy
i guess i'm a little bit reserved i can
tell you feel intimidated i think you
have very good smile thank you you look clean
clean
with your hair you're trying to stay young
young
on the facial hair you try to look older
the combination kind of sets you off a
little bit not as positive not as caring
a little awkward and people can tell
that she doesn't have a strong of an
interest in their viewpoints like the
guy does because of the way she frames
her messaging again not a character flaw
just a representation of her
communication skills compared to the
modeling scout hell this guy is so good
at what he does that if i were in the
same situation even i would be severely
outclassed like the lady is but that
difference in skill is why when she's
honest with people they respond like this
this
eight okay
what you need to turn down what you
would suggest
because what i need
i already do okay if you wanna
showed a spunk of professionalism
you need to first
try to take that out
well i'm telling you i only keep jobs
that let me keep my nose ring well then
you're limiting yourself to
who you are i'm aligning myself with
what is in alignment with me okay again
i agree with everything she said nose
rings don't look good they're
distracting and from a career
perspective only taking jobs that allow
you to have the nose ring is going to
harm your ability to find good quality
jobs i had to cut this for time but she
also comments on this girl's long nails
which is met with an equally negative
response i agree with the former model
i'm not sure who started this trend but
i have never heard a guy say he is
attracted to one to two inch long nails
i've pretty much heard guys say good
things about every feature except for
that one and i've always felt that those
super long nails that basically [ __ ]
your ability to do any kind of work are unattractive
unattractive
anyway let's see how the guy handles
this if i was going to get you into
modeling i would say let's take out the
piercing go for the big curls keep
everything great on the face i don't
mind the scar
everything can be taken care of through
photoshop but you want a number of
what's marketable i'd easily just say
five it's not too high it's not too low
you would definitely be able to work in
the petit market in a certain city
but no piercing again he says the same
things the woman did but gets a much
better response personally i think this
particular girl is very high maintenance
and probably doesn't want feedback
actually i will show the nail thing
because it shows just how resistant she
is to critical commentary and they the
nails beautiful
but they're too long
to work with you
well too long to work with you not just
because of this resistance she still
probably won't take the modeling scout's
advice either but the better odds of her
listening were with him and did you see
him getting away with calling her a five
out of ten that's three points lower
than the lady gave her eight okay
okay
but you want a number of what's
marketable i'd easily just say five how
many women would be happy being called a
five out of ten
the reason he gets away with it is
because he's using the communications
principle on distancing people away from
the critical feedback you can see him
doing this the whole video instead of
saying you should change this he says if
i was going to get you into modeling i
would say let's take out the nose
piercing the feedback is more focused on
what he would do instead of directly
being about her this prevents people
from getting defensive normally i would
shy away from indirectness but at a
certain point we just have to do it
works the important thing is finding
ways to get people to improve plus he's
still being honest and he didn't lie to
anyone you can also make people more
likely to listen to you by telling them
stories about people with similar
problems instead of making it directly
about the person you're criticizing
one more thing on being indirect if you
notice when he calls her a five he
doesn't say i think your attractiveness
is a five out of ten he says in terms of
marketability you're a five it's the
same thing the only difference is the
framing seriously when he calls this guy
a 10 do you think he is just talking
about his marketability how's it going
that's a yes
that works yeah i'd give him a 10.
absolutely somebody would book him this
guy is a master at communications and
the great thing about it is that he can
be brutally honest and give people very
important feedback without them having a
meltdown i cannot stress this enough if
you want your interactions to go well
framing is important now it might seem
stressful to learn this stuff but to
simplify it i think that you'll find a
lot of these framing techniques coming
out naturally if you just start taking
more of an interest in other people and
start caring about them more i think
dating can be that simple too if you
just make a slight change in the framing
of how people meet each other by pulling
it away from dating apps you'll find
much better results and much healthier
relationships without a ton of added
effort anyway thanks for watching follow
me on twitter and i'll see you in the
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