The Key To Preparing for Any Difficult Conversation? | Comms Lab | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: The Key To Preparing for Any Difficult Conversation?
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i want to talk a little bit about the
skill of reframing if communication is
the master skill of interpersonal
emotional intelligence reframing along
with mindfulness is in my opinion the
master skill of interpersonal emotional
intelligence it is the cognitive
in a very real sense gaining some
mastery over your framing of the world
will completely change your world let's
look at an example to illustrate how
powerful framing is you're in your car
you're driving in heavy traffic you're
desperately trying to get to your i
they were traveling too fast and so they
needed to slam on the brakes to avoid
hitting the car in front of them even
though you hit your brakes immediately
you still cannot stop in time to avoid
bumping it wasn't a massive crash but
you know from the crunching sound that
it's not going to be an easy fix
or a cheap one just up ahead the other
car pulls over
so you pull up behind it and turn off
your engine as you're undoing your seat
belt all you can think about is how
unbelievably stupid that person is just
work out in front of you like that and
then slam on the brakes unbelievable not
only will you now miss your pilates
class but you've also got an expensive
repair job on your hands and you're
probably gonna have to catch public
transport for at least the rest of the week
week
you could literally not
not
be more angry as you open your car door
and walk over to the other car you are
preparing to unload
your fury on this ignorant half-wit but
what you see
as you look in through the driver's
window doesn't meet your expectations
it's a young woman with tears streaming
down her face and a look of panic in her eyes
eyes
she's reaching back into the back seat
shoving an asthma puffer into a small
child's face
the child looks like he's having
terrible trouble breathing and his lips
are turning blue she turns to you at the window
window
and says i'm so sorry
he's having an asthma attack i need to
get him to hospital in the blink of an
eye your rage is gone and it's replaced
by compassion and the desire to help
your pilates class and your car suddenly
that all seems trivial now as you pull
out your phone and call an ambulance so
what's changed in a certain sense
nothing's changed so
how is it possible that literally in a
moment that driver has gone from someone
you couldn't be more angry at to someone
you desperately want to help well
you've been provided with new
information and
that information has caused you to
reframe your understanding of the driver's
driver's intentions
the process of reframing can apply to
more than just you know specific
situations it can apply to
to
it can apply to whole ways of seeing the
world it's a small change
if i wanted to make everything in the world
world
blue i could buy some blue paint and
just start painting everything blue the walls
walls
window the plants
my computer everything you could i could
just grab some blue paint and just paint
i could change my frames frames can work
against us or they can work for us so
it's essential that we're aware of them
and that we have them optimized for the
this is especially the case when it
comes to having difficult conversations
where it's so
natural to frame the other person's
position or their intentions
the worst possible lie and
while this can make us feel good and it
might even seem to justify the
frustration we might be harboring
towards that person it can also serve as
a real barrier to effective dialogue
and will therefore impair your ability
to achieve a good outcome with your
conversation over the next few videos we
are going to have a close look at the
way we frame some of the most important aspects
aspects
of difficult conversations we're going
to start by reframing how you think of
the conversation itself and then we'll
take a closer look at how we can
effectively reframe our conversation partner
partner
did you get that
there's your first clue
you have beans
is there anything that we can put into
the tacos that would make them nicer for
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