An anti-war protester successfully breached security at a joint US-Australian military exercise, damaged an aircraft with a pickaxe, and was apprehended, highlighting lax security and leading to a significant repair bill.
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Uh so the preface to this is that it's
exercise talisman saber which is the US
and Australians. This is in Queensland,
Australia. Uh let me see. Our story
begins with a normal beautiful sunny
day. Little did the fine soldiers know
that their perfect day was about to take
a dark but unusual turn. Uh this turn
came in the form of two anti-war
protesters named Brian and Graham.
Unlike most other protesters, these two
men weren't content with standing at the
gate and being smelly stains on society.
I love that wording, by the way. They
wanted to cause real mayhem and they had
to come up with the perfect plan to
achieve this. As part of this plan,
Brian and Graham had been making threats
to attack Aussie and US aircraft, but
alas, their threats had fallen on deaf
ears. So, they decided to go to the next
phase of their attack. This is also in
reading this, I learned there's a very
large difference between how air
airfields are secured in Australia
versus the United States.
I guess they're just not I guess this
one wasn't. Um, with Graham filming,
Brian drove his war vehicle, an
oversized red tricycle, uh, to an
unattented side gate and proceeded to
cut the chain with bolt cutters. After
making entry, Brian remounted his
tricycle and started to ride towards the
nearest military aircraft. He was almost
stopped before he started when a rather
unimpressed civilian pilot tried rather
half-heartedly to stop him in his
adventure. Brian pulled a rather slow
evasive maneuver and kept on riding
after. Hold on a second. He's slowly
riding a tricycle like the clown puppet
from Saw. It's like a grownup. That's
all I can picture is some saw puppet.
This guy's old and fat, too. Like just
some elderly fat guy on an military
airfield on a [ __ ] tricycle. And
everyone's like, "Wait, this has a
video?" Yes, the video. It's in the text
channel of the general. Um, you got me
here. Uh, let me see. After riding a
distance, Brian pulled his tricycle up
to the unsuspecting Tiger aircraft and
dismounted in a way that can that only
an overweight elderly man could. Before
approaching the aircraft, he retrieved a
pickaxe, a Maddox pick, from the rear
basket of his tricycle. With great
effort and no skill, Brian swung the
garden tool at the aircraft and put a
decentsized hole in the side of the
aircraft. With mission accomplished,
Brian was not satisfied and he attempted
to dislodge the garden tool uh in order
to have another crack at the the title.
It was at this time real heroes of the
story enter in the form of the
Australian Army aircraft maintainers who
were rather displeased about the obese
elderly man who was de destroying their
aircraft. Before Brian could retrieve
his weapon, he was wrapped up by two
maintainers. But unfortunately, the
damage was done. The irony of the
situation is that if Brian had struck
the aircraft 4 in higher, he could have
possibly hit the detonation cord used to
blow the windows out for an emergency
escape. Watching Brian eat flying plexig
glass would have been poetic justice.
But unfortunately, this did not happen.
Instead, Brian's damage consisted of one
fist-siz hole through the composite skin
of the aircraft. This may sound like a
small bit of damage, but those that are
not aware, composite aircraft skin is
not as simple to fix as aluminum and is
actually this actually grounded the
aircraft for a number of months while
engineering was trying to figure out how
the [ __ ] they would fix it. And I how
the [ __ ] they get through a firefight if
one [ __ ] bullet pierces their
fuselage and then they're just like
they're like, "Ah [ __ ] the thing that
we put up in the air to shoot other they
might get shot at. It's just not it's
got a hole in it." The [ __ ] I don't
know. Maybe a pickaxe is better at
poking holes than bullets. I don't know.
I Oh my god. We are the world's police.
Everybody is this [ __ ] We literally
protect the world. There is no one on
our level. There's not even one person
on our level.
Yes, we're we're almost there. It's it's
a little bit of justice at the end.
These are our allies and they're they're
they're grounded because doofus put a
hole in their airplane. I'm not going to
lie, I would have paid to have all those
maintainers miked up because, you know,
it was just like, I you
[ __ ] like, it would have been great
to just hear it. Um, Brian was detained
by police and charged for his daring
assault of the aircraft. Magically, like
it usually happens, Brian was found
guilty, but not punished for his crime.
It seemed there was no punishment until
Brian came home one day and was issued a
bill for $200,000 Australian dollars by
the Australian Department of Defense for
the cost of repair to the damage. Sweet
justice. Well, yeah. He took down half
with a [ __ ] pickaxe. Bunts. Bunts.
Our allies are sad.
I mean, yeah. I don't think one of our
aircraft would have been down for
months. But for a dramatic incident
involving a military helicopter at
Rockhampton airport this morning, when
news obtained these exclusive pictures
as a protester made his way onto the
tarmac before allegedly using a garden
matic to damage the aircraft
carrying bolt cutters and riding a
tricer made his way onto restricted
government property. Get out loud on
here. Get off. In less than three
minutes, this anti-war activist crossed
the tarmac at Rockampton airport heading
towards a military helicopter before our
camera captured this swing with a garden
madic. Khaki clad troops intercepting
before police moved in taking protest
law into custody. I'm done. This war is
sick. It should be over. His actions
against the joint US and Australian
military exercise Talisman Sabre. The
Rockampton airport currently being used
as a base.
I think that's all the the footage. Open
the gate. Like, okay, I I want like, you
know, all the pride to our Australian
partners, but at the same time, if
someone tried that in the United States,
they would be full of so many [ __ ]
holes, like very quickly. I And then
when those cops ran up, dude, if Rich
was there, he would have paralyzed that
guy from throwing him so hard to the
ground. Dude, they're they like they
like jog up to him. Look at them.
They're like sprinting and then they
just go, "All right, mate. Let me give
me that. Let me take that from you real
quick." Like, are you [ __ ] serious?
Do you know how? Yes. That That man
would be broken in half. I'd take that
[ __ ] madic and slam it up one of his thighs.
thighs.
I just I was watching this. I was I
couldn't The story was funny, don't get
me wrong, because it's like wild, but at
the same time, I was The response was
also very funny to me.
Dude, that's [ __ ] wild. Wild. Like,
if it wasn't for the helic like it
how you ride a tricycle up to military
helicopters and then be able to hit it
with a [ __ ] pickaxe.
I mean, best case, you're in the
hospital. So, like he just the the thing
just rode by that guy that ran up to him
was just like, "No, no, thank you." And
then just like going, "Go ahead, Nick.
I'm sorry to keep interrupting. The
weird part that like we don't really gra
I was like just reading uh an account
from I think it was a British guy. It
might have been a French guy, but he was
talking about like things that are are
weird about the American military. And
apparently like most other militaries
are not like the US military in that
like if you're active duty like that
that that's it. That's what you do. Like
apparently like the British and a lot of
military dudes is like you're in the
military but it's like you're 9 to5 and
then you go home and live a completely
normal life the rest of the time. And he
was talking about how weird it is. And
like he almost likened the US military
active duty to like a cult of like no
you do that. You get up in the morning
you work out in the morning with your
group. You train all day. You eat with
your guys. You live in a barracks. is
like that's not normal for a lot of
other militaries. I guess
that's why we're better than everybody
else. This is true. Yeah. One of the
many reasons. I mean 11. And it doesn't
take a [ __ ] pickaxe to knock out half
of our area. You guys only show up
miners. You guys only show up at the end
of the World War and then try to take
all the credit. Yeah. You think it's a
coincidence that every time we show up,
[ __ ] ends promptly? No. What's [ __ ]
dad getting home from work, [ __ ]
This shit's over. belts out. Yeah. You
You know how Germany acted when all of a
sudden out of the background by in in
the UK there came a loud rumbling of what?
what?
And then just boss music like a [ __ ]
Some Nazi looking at a Japanese guy.
What did you do? What did you do? We
touched the boss. Like the Dark Souls
the boss uh health bar pops up at the
bottom. I love that. That's actually a
really good meme. It's like bombing Hiro
or bombing
uh Pearl Harbor and
then the boss meter shows up. It's like
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