This content is a transcript of a podcast episode featuring hosts Eli Double Tap, Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera, and Donut Operator. The discussion covers a wide range of informal topics, including personal life updates, humorous anecdotes, pop culture, current events, and discussions about firearms and history.
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Did you cry? Yeah. Out of my penis. Any
romance gone. Also, his mother now she
knows you've had sex.
Having a child is basically like having
a Pokémon. You just throw a rock at his
head, knock him out.
They're They're just telling rednecks,
"Go be pirates." What's that sword you
Say hi to
Eli. He's racially ambiguous and
random. His hair is [ __ ] fabulous.
Don't a dark joke disposition. And
there's a fat electrician. Welcome to unsubscribe.
unsubscribe.
Well, boys, it's just uh it's just the
gang again. I like it. Three, two, one.
I heard that coming. Heard that. No one
hears anything. And then immediately put
it back out. Hi everyone. and welcome to
the unsubscribed podcast with Eli Double
Tap, fat electrician Brandon Herrera and
myself, donut operator. It's been a
minute since we've done just the boys.
It has. What's up, beautiful faces?
Nick's in town. Y'all are in town.
Everyone Cody, you have life updates.
Everyone has updates. [ __ ] engaged.
Yeah. Yeah, dude. When's the last time
we did a a Just a Gang podcast like
this? It's been a month and a half. A
month. Yeah. according to the internet
like a week ago, but
yeah, a week ago. That's true. Hey guys,
we're happy to have you here. We're
lucky to be together. Boys getting
married. I am. I am. I got engaged at
the Hotel Del Coronado. Coronado Island
out there in San Diego. How was it? Uh,
it was good, dude. I Someone's going to
make an honest man out of me. I'm going
to have a little little Mexican babies
running around hopefully next year. I
can't wait till your kids cut my grass.
Yeah, dude. It's
okay. Mr. Herrera. Hey, look. I had to
do it. It's a right of passage. He cut
my grass. My kids cut his grass. It's,
you know, it's a whole give and take.
Your kid's name. That's weird. That's
weird, dude. Cut the goddamn it.
John C. Garrett.
God, you don't have them yet. You can't
It's in Q. It's fine.
Oh, so you did a you had a whole thing
planned out and she didn't know about
you. Even had a photographer there,
right? Yeah, we brought a Phoenix out
who does beautiful strangers on
Instagram. I Why is Finn following us?
Lavser.
No, no, don't expect anything. Just play
it cool. How'd it go though? Like it it
was good, man. uh went out to the beach
on the Hotel Dell, right in front of the
Hotel Dell, Coronado and and uh like I
said, my friend Phoenix was out there
and I was trying to distract her because
she was looking at him. She was like,
"He looks familiar." I was like, "No,
no, no. He doesn't look familiar. Look
at that wave out there. That wave is
crazy. There's surfers and stuff out
there in the thing." And so Finn or not
Finn, excuse me. He's the photographer.
Yeah, Phoenix the photographer. He's
like, "That way, that way, that way,
that way, that way." And so I'm like
trying to distract her while I'm walking
out there and I'm looking at him. You're
doing the soy jack meme.
Oh, look at that. That mountain out
there. Looks cool, doesn't it?
Like doing cast. I'm going to put this
reflector right here. Just Oh, trash.
You know, it's like getting the perfect
light setup for one shot. Is that He was
doing all that for a single shot. Yeah.
Yeah. What was funny is his disguise
when he facetimed later, he's like he's
wearing I love Phoenix to death. He's
like one of my favorite people. Very
genuine, wholesome guy wearing this gay
little hat that is just like, "Oh, this
is my disguise." And Moody was like that
that was the reason I identified him. He
had the
nose glasses. He's like, "Hello, the
Groucho Mark Shades.
No one knows who I am, right?" Well, she
recognized him cuz he had the [ __ ]
hat on. He was like, "I wore it so she
wouldn't recognize me." But she was
like, "Look at that guy with the hat
right there." Like, "No, don't look at
that guy. Don't look at that. Don't look
at that guy. If there was somebody
wearing that hat on the beach, that
would be all I could look at. It's like
one of those like 1920s paper boy hats.
Oh my. I need Oh, like the uncircumcised
hats. Like the peaky blinders. Yeah.
With the the the foreskin over the bill.
Yeah. Somebody was wearing that on the
beach at Hotel Del Cororonado. That
would be the only thing I was looking
at. Okay. He even sewed the razors into
the hat, too. It was weird, man. He cut
a homeless guy. Yeah. He killed a
homeless man while we were on the beach.
My name's
Eagle. Did you need one? He did yell at
some people, by the way, for to get out
of the way of the photos. Guys, we were
walking down there and we've been
planning this all morning and he was
walking down there and like some people
stepped in the shot and as as we're
walking down, I can see him screaming at
people. He's like, "Get the [ __ ] out of
the way." But marry me. [ __ ] move
him, [ __ ] It's like, whoa. Okay. Good
time. Good times, though. Who's that guy
in the funny hat yelling at people and
threatening baby? Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it. Don't worry. And
then she said yes, obviously. I Yeah.
Yeah. Well, she didn't say yes. She
hugged my head and cried. Yeah. And
cried a little bit. Always cried. Did
you cry? I blacked out. Yeah. Out of my penis.
penis.
You just romance gone.
I cried out my penis. Also, his mother.
I just in the room. I know. I got to
hold back the the jokes now. Oh,
let's get it out of the way. Now she
It's going to be a good episode today.
Tonight's going to be rough for the
second one. Oh, just like [ __ ]
Nashville. Like the uh the the Nashville
live show where we did two shows in one
night. The first show was like, "All
right, got the nerves out." And then the
second show we were just belligerent.
Everyone loved it though. The entire
time. It was a good time. It was a rough
rough [ __ ] time. We were like two
shows in a row. Hey, if anybody's
carrying a gun in here, show it to us now.
now.
Oh, that's the one that was super weird
and they thought we all had guns. Yeah,
they were uh that was the one that they
were scared of us. One fan walks up with
an empty tube and everybody freaks out.
AT4s do look like rocket launch. They
are rocket launchers. If you don't know
better, I'd be like, "Huh?" Well, the
the the manager of the show, we've
talked about this before on the podcast,
the manager of the show came back and
he's like, "The staff is really scared
of you guys." It's like, "Why someone
brought a rocket launcher into the theater?"
theater?"
Ah, it's It doesn't work. It's fine.
It's not a real rocket launcher. We're
all carrying. It's good. They'll protect
you. I promise that. Yeah. This would be
the worst place for somebody to try
something. Mhm. Have beef [ __ ] around.
Find out. Most of the audience is like
prior service of some some capacity.
There's probably a couple guns in the
room. Oh yeah, there's a couple guns.
It's going to be like a zombie movie.
They just like slowly rip the criminal
apart. I guarantee it would just be a
hoorde. And in was it Atlanta? No, it
was San Diego. Hannah got too high off
that edible and after the show she was
freaking out and she We let it talk
about that, huh? Yeah.
She ate far too much of an edible that
she should not have eaten from a
stranger. No, it was from her brother
from from a dispensary, but it was like
this is 100 millig have one square. It's
not working after 10 minutes. I'm going
to eat the whole thing type of a situation.
situation.
On [ __ ] Pluto by the time the show
gets done, she's freaking out. She's
walking extraordinarily well. 5
milligrams is like will [ __ ] send you
to the moon. So 100 milligrams, you are
you have seen God. You talk to them, you
go back, you you're you're living life.
So she's like having a panic attack and
she's like, I don't want you doing live
shows anymore. Out of all those people,
they're looking at you. It's so scary.
What if one person there wanted to kill
you? Blah blah blah. I was like,
sweetheart, if somebody was going to
kill me and they did it at my live show,
my last moments would be getting to
watch the
2499 other people literally rip them
into pieces.
It's literally a zombie movie.
Arms and limbs flying about getting
ripped open. Why are they eating him?
Everybody goes home with a piece of [ __ ]
[ __ ]
Like, it's
disgusting. She was a champ, though. She
was a champ. She had the the time of her
life. I just remember walking up in her
eyes like this. Getting the Door Dash
dude for Papa Murphy's that I had to
call at 2 a.m. after the show to get her
food was pissed cuz we had to get food
to Coronado across the doors love
driving pizza across that big ass
bridge. He messaged me. He's like, "Hey
man, just so you know, this is going to
be like 25 minutes of my [ __ ] life
driving across this bridge." I was like,
"I'll take care of your Tim. Don't worry
about it." Mobad. Mubad. It's an
interesting bridge. Uh I I don't think
it's that crazy though. What? Like it's
not that big of a like it's a big
bridge, but it's like takes [ __ ] No,
but I think just like if you're doing
Door Dash, like you got to drive. It's
kind of out there compared to where
everything else is. You know what I
mean? If you're just delivering drunk
people food at 1 in the morning, running
from Taco Bell to houses and back. Well,
don't they account for that though?
What? Distance. I have no idea.
Distance. at sometimes, I think. But
still, it's at the whim. It could be
probably like if there's any tolls for
that. It was drunk and it was 2 a.m. I
don't care. I'll give him a big dip.
It's fine.
You got stuck on the tarmac, Mac. I want
to hear that. I know you were probably
There's no story invol [ __ ] The plane
showed up 30 minutes early and they're
like, "Oh, well, the plane in front of
you showed up late, so they just pulled
in, so now we have to sit here
and sit on the plane for another hour,
do nothing. the entire time. That was
it. It was Yeah, pretty straightforward
standard airplane [ __ ] cuz you know
like the AC on planes doesn't really
work when they're on the ground or when
I'm fat. So I'm just imagine Well, that
was my next part. I I'm just imagining
sitting next to you on the ground on the
tarmac just waiting. It's true. And just
getting my my left side of my arm
progressively more moist. You're just
breathing heavily. I was sitting next to
some kid that got upgraded. that he was
coming out here to see his sister
graduate to be a Navy corman. So, he was
cool the entire time, which is
unfortunate cuz I love I love when I end
up sitting in a first class and it's
just some snoody [ __ ] that's mad that I
exist the entire time. It's hilarious.
Will this guy win a contest or
something? Dude, that's the look you get
every time. And I love it. My favorite
part is like going out with our crowd.
You got a bunch of just tattooed guys in
t-shirts and, you know, wearing camo
[ __ ] You go to like a nice steakhouse
and just the looks that we get. Do you
remember that one time they stopped us
from going to the bathroom? They
escorted us. It was [ __ ] wild. The
the the servers, it was like a pretty
pretty nice steak joint, but it was like
a couple years ago. It was in San
Antonio. Uh we like uh I think it was
BDY like me, Baddy, you and uh Cody were
like going to the bathroom like a party
or something. Yeah, we had a bunch of
people out there. We but we were going
to get we were getting up to go to the
bathroom and they thought we were dine
and dashing. So the servers formed a
wall, a human wall in front of the front door.
door.
Yeah. That they were like, "Follow us."
I think escort us to the bathroom
because we couldn't find it. Obviously,
like the implication was they thought we
were going to sprint out on I thought
you guys wanted to play Red Rover. You
You
just barrel. Oh, I win. Okay. Where's
Like what the [ __ ] Like now I want to
do it out of principle. So, when uh last
time I was here, I brought my dad down
and I bought him a first class plane
ticket cuz he never sat first class and
it's like a 6:00 in the morning flight.
We're headed back to Iowa. Oh, no. And
my dad is probably still drunk from the
night before. And the dude sitting next
to him is just
like overly aggressively nice business
suit with like this big ass fancy
Brightling watch on, like all this
[ __ ] And he's just visibly mad that
my dad is sitting next to him in a fat
electrician shirt. And my dad just leans
into it. My dad drank like [ __ ] six
Jack and Cokes at 6:00 a.m. on his
flight next to this guy. Hell yeah. Just
furious the whole time. My dad's sitting
there eating beef jerky drinking Jack
and Coke. Cuz if you guys don't know, on
first class, they'll just feed you
drinks and it's free. Right at the
beginning, too. Before you take off.
Yeah. They'll say, "What do you want to
drink before we take off?" And they'll
just feed you a drink. Yeah. There. Your
dad's just going ham, dude. My dad's
like, "I don't want to cost you any more
money." I was like, "Dad, it's free.
Drinks in first class are free." He
Literally, Jack and Coke, do you want to
double? Yes. He was trying to be
respectful immediately.
That would be disrespectful to not drink
as much as possible since you already
paid for it. It's It's like an
all-inclusive resort for him now. I was
like, "Oh, [ __ ] I I've never been cut
off on a plane before. Cody?
Cody? No.
No.
I think Cody's almost got cut off from a
flight before.
Weren't we on a flight one time where
the lady was like, "You've had too much
to drink. We've only had two drinks and
we hadn't been drinking all day." I
don't think I don't think I was there
for that. I think that was the one where
you were in California, but I don't
remember. Yeah, I had one lady come up
and I I think we just had uh differing
political views. uh might have been
wearing a shirt or something that she
didn't like and came up and was like,
"You're cut off." I'm like, "Ma'am, uh
respectfully, I'm in first class. I
haven't drank today and I just want a
drink." She's like, "No, you're cut
off." And like wouldn't let me drink.
Yeah. It was weird weird stuff. What was
the It was one of the live shows cuz I
remember Rich was there and the one
steartist was
just literally not even bringing drinks
anymore, just giving out the miniature
bottles. Like she would do like four
four of them in her face. They just just
set them on your tray in front of you. I
was like, "What is happening?" Yeah. So
sometimes you get like the really nice
ones and then sometimes you get the ones
that are like, "No, no more." It's
weird, dude. It's just like a coin toss
anytime you fly. That's a general rule
to life though. Like if you're just
sweet to people. Exactly. Like Yeah.
There's no reason to be an [ __ ] Just
just be nice. Like befriend the people.
You get better service. Everybody has a
better time. It's like it's a win-win.
Don't be an [ __ ] But sometimes you
get those just they want to be a dick.
Yeah. Yeah. And like anytime we fly
there's there's we don't act up. We
don't we're not loud. We don't fight
with other passengers. Like we're the
nicest people ever. We've occasionally
been kind of loud. Okay. Um we did have
the lady on one of the live tours come
up and she's like, "You guys are in a
band or something, right?" You remember
her? Yep. I remember I remember the
first No, I remember that one. What is
it? What's the one where you got there's
no assigned seating? Is that Southwest?
Yes. I remember the first tour we were
going on. I don't remember the venue,
but we do this cute Well, Cody and
Brandon do this cute thing where they
don't board the plane until they're
calling your name over the loudspeakers
cuz you're at the bar. So, I part I
participated in that as well. But
because it's Southwest, the only thing
left is [ __ ] middle seats. So, I'm
walking down the middle seat and I see
two like smaller women and I'm sitting
between the two smaller women because
I'm fat and that's the most room. That
makes sense. Like Tetris and I go,
"Excuse me, can I sit behind you?" And
Cody behind me goes, "Ha, you got to sit
next to the [ __ ] fat
guy." The whole plane gets dead ass
quiet because we don't know that we know
each other. That's That's some of my
favorite [ __ ] is when the plane has no
tight. The high jinks you can get out.
Do you remember that one where it was it
was this most recent live tour cuz we
were all flying somewhere but it was all
first class. Like all the the hosts were
first class and Rich was being [ __ ]
rich. Oh, when you walked it was it the
one where it was like oh my god is is
that you're a YouTuber? We always with
each other too of Yeah, we [ __ ] with
each other all the time. So, we're never
loud. I'm like, we have the propensity
to be quite loud. Uh, was that the one
was like or were you [ __ ] with who
was it when they like Brandon walked
around? I know Rich did that to me at
least once, but I think we've done it to
everybody at some point. Yep. And then
just like egging it on with the
stewartist. It's like, oh no, you really
should ask. Like, seriously, he's a
somebody. Oh, and it goes That's why it
was you rising it to you and then you
guys joined. It's like, holy [ __ ] it's
a bad electrician. I love first class
just going towards Battle Electric the
YouTube star. Dude, I don't I don't
think it was last. I don't remember
where the flight was. It was recent. It
might have been for the drive tanks
thing or the time before. One of the
two. I'm in like the third or fourth row
back. The dude in the very front row, so
it's just like the wall with the TV
screen on front of him. I sit down. He's
three seats in front of me. And on his
screen, he just has his phone sitting on
top of the TV. He's watching his phone.
I'm not like paying attention to it. And
the two women in front of me are like
snickering back and forth and then
pointing at me and looking. And I like
take my headphones off. I was like,
"Yeah." And she's like, "Is that you?"
And the dude is watching one of my
videos at the front of screen. I was
like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's that's
me." It was it was something. That's
wild. I had that in San Fran where I was
uh I was doing the the speaking
engagement for Young Americans for
Liberty and like I was at the the bar
like waiting for my flight and I I look
over and the guy next to me like
literally from me to you. Guy next to me
is watching your video and I'm just
like I'm not going to say anything.
Just drink and move on. There was one uh
I always love that where you know you're
making fun of somebody or you're one of
our friends like for being you know
[ __ ] YouTube famous or whatever. But
the [ __ ] earlier at the the brunch
place we're like cuz you know we got we
had a couple drinks and like we were
just like all right we got to bail out
cuz we got to go
work and the the the waitress just like
oh work like now you're going to go
work. What do you guys do? Conor Connor.
Yeah. Connor says like what do you do?
What do you do for work? He's like, "Oh,
bludgeoning puppies to death with a
hammer without skipping a beat." And
then I go, "And Nordstrom Rack and Nordstrom
Nordstrom
Rack the girls face. You weren't there
for that." She goes, "Oh." Oh,
the cool Connor kept me going. He's
like, "Yeah, that's what we do." Yeah.
It relieves stress after Nordstrom Rack.
damn, Connor. You couldn't just say
YouTube or something. And then Bludge
puppies. Brandon got recognized. It was
like Brandon Gonzalez. That was
hilarious. Wrong Mexican last name.
Well, my my favorite part. He's like,
"Oh, yeah. No, I I I voted for you." And
I was like, "I hope you didn't vote
Gonzalez cuz that was the wrong [ __ ]
guy." Dude, he knew Brandon. Brandon, is
that you? Brandon, is that you?
Brandon's like, "Yeah." He's like,
"Brandon Gonzalez like walks up and
shakes his head." It was funny. Beat
grown dogs to death with hammers. He
didn't say puppies. He said grown dog
makes sense. We beat dogs to death with
hammers. Why do you start at the tail?
It was a It was just like It was a hard
shift at Nordstrom Rack. Yeah, it was a
hard shift at Nordstrom Rack. Holiday.
Holiday.
Holy [ __ ] He's like, "God damn it." And
then uh I rolled through a stop sign in
my gated community and the cop followed
me here. Subtle flex, but all right. It
I gated community. I don't think about
like stop sign my wife grew up in a town
without stop signs. You got one in your
gated community. Exactly. That's wild
that he followed you here though. Yeah.
I saw I saw his car caddy cornered into
the park in into our little driveway
there. I was like he was really trying
to get you. I was I had no idea. I was
like, "Oh, he's following me." Cool. Cuz
I just rolled through. It's [ __ ] I
just assumed it was ice. Same. [ __ ]
They got me. Rolled up, pulled in. He
followed all the way to the house to get
out and he's like, "Hey, you Eli." I was
like, "Eli, man." He's like, "Oh, never
mind." I was like, "Oh, hey, blah, blah.
Thank you for what you're doing." I was
like, "Oh, the guys, you want to meet
him?" He's like, "Can can I?" Like,
"Yeah, come on." And immediately
everyone's like, "Oh, what's up?"
Shaking hands. We had a county deputy
that was just like in the [ __ ]
podcast. We did have a sheriff's deputy
just walk in here and take pictures with
us. He was rad. I like Connor walked out
in his bathing suit and then walked away
immediately. He's just in shorts.
listening to music on a cassette player.
I didn't know I was expecting company.
Picture Connor just wearing his shorty
shorts outside sunbathing and walking in
and there's a cop there and he's still
got his [ __ ] tape player in his hand.
Connor just defaults back to like base
stat uh base settings. Like I don't talk
to cops. Are you showing the class your
tape player that you have? You got a
[Music]
A box moves across the floor. I'm like,
there certainly could be.
That's not for Southerntherland. That's
Jim. That's Jim now. You're just
watching. One of your buddy gets ripped
up in the sky. Huh? [Laughter]
We got everyone in the MGS5 right now.
Like Oh, Jesus. Everyone is playing.
Thanks for getting my son addicted to
drugs again. Like, [ __ ] dude. And MGS5.
MGS5. Yeah, dude. It was heroin. Now you
guys got him on [ __ ] Metal Gear 5. He
He's We watched him for a night. He came
over, hung out, and then just had the He
just watched playing the Konami fence.
He made him buy it. Brandon's [ __ ]
killing it. And Connor just started
playing it. Just everyone's playing that
game right now. That's like all my spare
time at night is [ __ ] MGS5 now. Cody,
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[Laughter]
Well, that shit's What? That's like 10
years old now, right? Need to play
League of Legends and listen to war
documentaries like adults.
Be like your uncle, Nick. I wish I
could, but I've had The Man Who Sold the
World by David Bowie stuck in my head
for the last seven days. I don't know
what to do. Such a good song. It is a
great song. I was listening to it on the
way here. I Oh, that's on my like my
playlist. And then in the game, you know
how you can play the cassette? Yeah. I
started doing that now. I didn't realize
you can do that during missions. That's
all I do. You just turn on your iPod.
It's like Baby Driver. It is. It's all
80s [ __ ] too. It's all [ __ ] good.
like the final countdown by Europe and
like [ __ ] like that. Billy Idol uh
[ __ ] rebel yell. You get in your
vehicle, just run people over, tran
them, steal them. Well, John started
asking me about the the lore of the when
you kidnap someone. He was kidnapping
puppies, too. You tie them to the
balloon. Oh, yep. He was like, "Oh, this
right." I was like, "No, the CIA
actually attached people to balloons and
a C130 would come by and pick them up
with a hook back in the day." He was
like, "Wait, that's real?" Like, yeah.
See, how you did that [ __ ] back in the
day, buddy? [ __ ] wild. Oh, there's
They experimented with a bunch of it,
right? For like rapid extraction. Yep.
That had to kill a few people. Yeah. I mean,
mean,
going from 0 to 700 m an hour
immediately. Yeah, I would assume so.
Break a few eggs, man. A real stretchy
bungee for that. Yeah, dude. Make an
omelette. Break a few eggs. I would,
Dude, I would not want to be testing
that one. That's like prisoners, get
tested first. We'll reduce your
sentence. Just test this out for us.
First one died. Was that Skyhook or what
was that? Skyhook. Yeah, Batman did it
in Dark Knight, right? He threw that
little Asian man out the window.
You could have just distract the Asian
guy. Yeah. Take it, [ __ ]
Oh man, I want to talk about John's lore
this summer, Nick. Oh boy. What? John's
send John's going to be going to camp
with Nick for a couple weeks this
summer. Send to Iowa two, three weeks.
Forget Yeah. Like what was it? Sent to
Dagistan. Two, three years. Forget
Dagistan. Two years. Wait, wait. Okay.
What's going on? John's going to come do
jiu-jitsu and learn how to sell
t-shirts. Yeah. John's going to live
with him for two or three weeks and
they're going to sell t-shirts and do
jiu-jitsu. Yeah. T-shirts made here.
Yeah. No, John's making the shirt.
John's like weaving. He's like quack
duck. Okay. Oh, that's that's
interesting. Okay. That's why you
brought it up when we were talking about
Asian guy. Yeah. Cuz like just like like
straight suffering. That's what I'm
talking about. He's going to go with
Nick. He's going to learn how to how to
suffer and and weave t-shirts, quacking
t-shirts on his own. That's going to be
good. When do you get them?
Whenever Summers. Yeah, whenever he
wants. Really? I love this. I can roll
now, so we're good. Yeah, he's going to
be sewing all your t-shirts. It's like
the [ __ ] Dave Chappelle bit. Like, I
got a whole ass sweat shop down here.
No, it just means Cody's going to start
selling some merch for once. Damn. God
damn. Ow. Jesus.
Taking poison my soul. Taking poison damage.
One one.
He's going to come back a little
monster. I hope so. You're good. He's a
big enough kid. He's about your size
now, man. He is not 260 pounds. I know.
You know what? He's getting there. He's
bigger than me.
I don't know. He He'd beat Connor to my
sons. But
I love you. Don't set Don't set me up to
hurt you like that. I was We were at
Topgolf the other day. [ __ ] uh John
and Connor were getting into it just
like shit-talking each other. He's like,
"Am I am I going to have to [ __ ]
fight a 16-year-old?" And I'm like, "I
would recommend striking cuz I'm not
confident about your odds if he gets you
ground." Well, I mean, sometimes, you
know, we'll be at the house, we'll have
a couple drinks in this, and we'll be
like, "All right, fighting John." And
John's just a [ __ ] animal. Not not
compared to Nick, but John bring out the
rancor. Yeah, John has some ground game
on him. So, I'm excited to send him to
Nick's place for a couple weeks just to
have some fun. Do that corn. [ __ ] Every
time Cody comes down from his room with
John on a leash, it's like Hopper, the
crazy grasshopper from A Bug's Life.
Tore him away from his anime to beat up
your friends every [ __ ] time we get
drunk. Run around. Having a child is
basically like having a Pokemon
essentially. Watch it fight people.
John use claw attack. John use claw
attack. The sooner you beat up Uncle
Connor, the sooner you can get back to
your hent tie. John, get back. Can you
just throw a rock at his head? Knock him out.
out. [Laughter]
[Laughter]
Painted red and white with a circle on
it. John, use boulder. Yeah. Here. John,
him. God. Oh god. He's learning from my
cop tape. John, throw an unregistered
firearm near him.
John uses the unregistered firearm. The
drop screwdriver. Did you see that meme
that went viral on Axe last week? Which
it was a it was a listing for a a gun.
It was on like gun broker or whatever,
some gun auction website, but it was a
What what's it called where like the
police department's selling it off?
Yeah, it's like an evidence locker gun.
Oh, yeah. So, it was a it was a high
point, but it didn't say evidence
locker. It said like former cop carry
gun or something and it was a high point
and some some army dude commented and
he's like at first I was wondering why
the cops would have a high pointer and
then I remembered why we carried a PKM
when I was in the army
dude? Are there any are there any
buybacks coming up soon? We've already
done a couple of me and one. So I I was
talking with my boy. Shout out to uh
Westell. I was talking to him.
Apparently on Monday they've got some
that got sent to me today by my other
buddies. I never seen it before. I saw I
see that. That's so good. They should
make a They should invent a gun that
doesn't whisper stuff to you. That's a
Conor gun right there, dude. I But uh my
boy Wes was telling me that they've got
a bunch of gun bills that they're voting
on in Texas in a couple days. And uh one
of them is uh basically bans state
sponsored gun buybacks. Good. Because
they don't [ __ ] do anything. Although
it's going to hurt my content. Yeah,
it's fun to go to those as as me and Eli
have seen coming with you to those
things. [ __ ] you, Shaq. Why didn't you
show up, dog?
What was your gun by back? I
I bought and built out the goddiest deer
hunting rifle for Iowa this year. It's
hilarious. What' you do, Nick? Uh
Marlin, the lever action company, came
out with a magpole edition. So it's a
magpole stock, Magpole M um MLOCK front
grip on a stainless steel lever action
4570 and it's a trapper edition. So the
whole gun is only like this big cuz
Iowa's got those uh one of those states
that has like the the gay hunting law.
Yeah. So it's got Iowa is so flat you
have to hunt with straight wall
cartridge. So like you can't hunt with
any highowered rifles. Yeah. So, it used
to be shotgun only forever. I I love the
idea like you can't hunt with a high
power rifle. So, instead I'm using a
4570 government. I mean, the logic is
the the 4570 is like it's hitting the
dirt after 300 yards. It's a bison
killer. I'm like not aware. So, I have that
that
gun with a [ __ ] can on it cuz they
just legalized suppressed hunting in
Iowa and a ACOG. [ __ ] Oh, hey. and just
ding like that's all we need. You want
to know why you've never seen a buffalo
in the wild? 4570 government.
Colorado just came out with their
[ __ ] this morning. They finally
signed that bill, right? Yeah. Yeah. Detachable
Detachable
magazine rifles. It was a super
restrictive gun bill. I know. We were
fighting it for a while. Oh, that's Oh,
so it's like California's legislation. I
think it's worse. Dang. Yeah, in a
couple ways it's kind of worse. Everyone
was happy and clapping. And they're
like, "Oh, yay. No more detachable
magazines. Crime will go down. Crime's
going to drop now. We can't wait to see
how this works." It's almost like we've
seen it before and that doesn't have any
correlation to crime whatsoever. Oh,
[ __ ] wild. It was There was the video
where it was basically a bunch of people
that were testifying in front of the
state legislature like, "Please don't
take my constitutional rights away from
me. This is illegal. You shouldn't be
doing this." And it was the state
legislature that was drawing on her
iPad. She was doing like a coloring
book. That's the one I see. It was
multiple people like watching videos
doing anything but paying attention.
Like [ __ ] you. All right. Something
something. Never mind. I gotta ask you.
Chicago crime in 2025. How many people
have been shot in Chicago this year?
April 20 2500. 1,200 3,000. 402 people
have been shot in Chicago this year.
Man, that's down. 104. Yeah. 104 uh
homicides. Hm. In one city, the
strictest gun laws in the country.
That is I tried having that argument
with somebody and they were like, "Well,
yeah, but the only reason they have that
is because in Indiana the gun laws are
so relaxed that people from Chicago just
drive to Indiana and buy guns and then
do violent gun crime." And I go, "Cool.
So then why isn't
Indiana as dangerous as Chicago?" H
Well, okay. Yeah. Well, those factor,
what's the other factors involved? Like
I've been told it's socioeconomic.
What is registered gun violence versus
uh non-registered? Do you ever have any
bad habits? Yeah, I've had bad habits.
Wait, are we doing it now? Yeah. Okay.
Go ahead. Sorry. If you're part of the
50% of people who try to quit vaping
each year, well, you're going to have to
equip yourself with the right tools for
the job, right, Cody? Is it fume?
Eli, can you tell me about fume? Well,
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Uh there's I did read a statistic about
that the other day. Basically, well, it
was something along the lines of like
guns used in crimes that have been
caught uh like recovered guns from
crimes. Uh there's a wild like it's a
wildly high percentage of those that are
stolen. That's what I was going to say.
It has to be a very high percentage on
that and you're like, "Okay."
Yeah. A lot of people steal guns
specifically just for crime. Weird.
Yeah. Crazy. Believe me, when I dip my
toe into crime, I'll definitely be using
the guns that I bought myself at the
store. I definitely won't be acquiring
sketchy guns to do bad things with.
Also, hunting with a suppressor was illegal.
illegal.
Yes. What's the logic on that? People
are [ __ ]
The people that make the laws about guns
don't understand guns. Oh, correct.
Yeah, 100%. They watch movies. Do we do
we need to get in a whole conversation
on why democracy sucks? Is that where
this is going? It's like the the video
of the Indian guy. It's like a democracy
of the people, by the people, for the people.
people.
But the people are [ __ ] Yeah, exactly.
exactly.
Actually, I have at Brandon, you have
more ATS stuff coming up. Or is it just
focusing on that bill and then whatever
else you're rolling out? Cuz you were up
there last week in Austin doing some
stuff, too. You're going the whole
government route again, aren't you?
Well, that was like the term limit
stuff. Uh we we're working on some of
that stuff up there. But I am friends
with a couple of the state reps who are
just doing really base [ __ ] right now,
which like any any any support I can
give for that is awesome. cuz then I
just like being able to do stuff. You
know, there's a lot of people that talk
about doing stuff. I like to at least be
useful for something. But yeah, well, I
was going to be talking about some of
the ATF stuff that they're rolling back
cuz cash is out now. Cash is no longer
ATF head. Uh it's the guy who is um
military, right? Dory Dorsy, Secretary
of the Army. He was also a uh I think he
was a Republican lawmaker from North
Carolina. He
um he's pretty decent. They also fired
uh the uh deputy director of the ATF
who's a total [ __ ] He was the guy
who was responsible for the armbrace
stuff and he also uh like he got he had
like medals and [ __ ] from his uh service
at Waco. Like had been in the ATF for 35
[ __ ] years and was like just bragging
about all the unconstitutional stuff
they've been able to do. It's like yeah
no that guy should have been fired like
day one. That [ __ ] yeah. Should be in jail.
jail.
You'd be in jail. Army Secretary Daniel.
No [ __ ] Army SE. So, I don't I don't I
don't really have a line of comms with
him yet, but I I am cautiously
optimistic. Sounds like he's got a good
track record.
Just learn guns. Just have people that
know it. The wait time for SBRs and
suppressors is still really low. So, so
be cool if there wasn't a wait time, but
I I know something about that. Uh the
the reason why do you know why the wait
time shot to zero basically for like
because they know they're about to lose
the ability to have tax stamps so
they're trying to greenlight and collect
as much money as possible if I had to
guess. It's actually way more insidious
than that. Okay. So it was like kind of
like why did the trains in Germany run
on time? You know kind of [ __ ] like
that. What they were trying to do is
they were expecting uh this is from what
I've what I've heard you know inside and
out. they were expecting the armbrace
thing to pass or like to to be like
confirmed by the courts and [ __ ] like
that. Basically, if you had an arm brace
or whatever, like you would have to have
uh registered that as an NFA item like
as an SPR. So, they built a huge
infrastructure system because they were
expecting millions of people to be
registering their arm brace pistols and
[ __ ] like that because they were going
to make it a felony. Oh. And so it
literally that time they sold tens if
not hundreds of millions to firearms to
random everyday citizens in sporting
goods stores and then decided it was
illegal and they needed to give them
money to be able to keep [ __ ] they
bought legally where they were literally
going to turn millions of law otherwise
law-abiding Americans into felons
overnight because of an arbitrary
ruling. Yeah, that was the exact time.
Dope. But they built the infrastructure
because they were basically going to be
pointing a gun at the average uh
American gun owner and saying register
it or you it's 10 years in prison and a
$250,000 fine per right per per
infraction. That's the that's the
terrifying it's per infraction. So uh
yeah, that's why NFA weight they NFA
weight times accidentally
uh went through the floor because that
that [ __ ] got disposed of. Good.
So, the reason why it happened wasn't
super cool. Uh, but I'm glad it did.
When are we going to get like a huge
anti-gun guy on the podcast so me and
Brandon, everybody could just rip him
apart, just actually hear their side. I
think a lot of people are scared of us
to be completely honest, man. I've tried
to invite people on the podcast. They're
like, "No, no."
We have invited people with like
somewhat conflicting views and they just
We've even invited some of those people
to range day. Yeah. was like, "Hey, come
out and like seriously like no strings
attached. Come out and see what the
culture is actually like." Uh, instead
of, you know, your whatever you think it
is up here. Preconceived notion. It's
like the guys you'll get along
surprisingly with everyone. You'll see
we're not everyone's just good dudes at
everybody's polite when everybody's got
a gun. Yeah. Well, like we like we might
have talked about it before. We had some
people come out to the like one of the
last range days that we did who works
for some platforms that we work with and
they're like, "We thought you guys were
going to be unsafe rednecks." It's like,
"No, we like this is the most safe
environment to shoot a machine gun ever
in." Cuz they won't say it openly, but
then you call them on it like, "You
thought we were a bunch of dumb hicks,
didn't you?" And they're just like like
nervous. If you if anyone [ __ ] around
stupidly with a gun, we will be the
first ones to punch them in the mouth
for being
unsafe. Yeah. So [ __ ] you just get
chucked to the ground instantly and then
kicked out. I guarantee it. Yeah, dude.
And we we like at our range days, we
have the our RSOs are special forces
dudes. And then we have the sheriff's
department standing by also. So like
Yeah. We're like, "Hey, drag that person
out of here right now. They're not
welcome ever again." Yeah. We had a
bunch of active duty flight paramedics
and [ __ ] like that. Like we we had, you
know, we got infrastructure there to do
it as safe as we possibly can. You know,
even for the worst case scenario, but
you know, we're just a bunch of dumb
hicks. What do we know? That like
shooting machine guns and stuff. Hey,
that's why my shooting gloves have those
hard knuckle pieces so it doesn't hurt
when I drag them on the ground like a
Nick Horny.
Nick Horny. you um met a dude. I didn't
know. So any military story, any of the
World War I, World War II heroes, any
story on an individual, it's all in the
congressional library, you can get them
documented or digitized and then put it
into always live on there and then
family members can just type in their
name, pull it up. Uh older dude, he was
in the military, then he did something
with the secretary of defense or he was
a doctor guy, very old, him and his
wife, sweethearts. He had a story. I was
like I tried to Google the guy. I'll get
his direct name. Kid joined at 12 years
old. Oh, this is World War II. Joined
forged. He had a hobo forge documents
for him like back in their days right
here. Like that time period. And it was
like, oh, so Hobo, how old are you? I
think I'm 16. Brought the hobo. Okay. To
the recruiter. Hobo's like, "Yep, my
kid's 18 or 16, whatever the signing age
to sign him on." He's like, "Yep, go."
Boom. 12 years old. He is a sergeant at
15 years old jumping out of airplane. He
did like he did battle bulge and
something else. So he's a sergeant
already. And then they go and then kick
him out of the military cuz like you
lied about your age. They found out he's
15 finally. I think it was his mom. His
mom wrote a letter to him cuz he finally
wrote and then she wrote a letter to the
army was like, "Hey, my kid is joined at
12. He's 15 right now. Uh can I have him
back?" So then he has to go back to high
school. He does high school for a couple
years, then goes back. Dude, that's what
happened to Jack Lucas. No [ __ ] The
dude that won the Medal of Honor, I did
a whole video on him. So
he he didn't like Way to watch his
content. You lie. I know. I'm like his
dad or his stepdad was like a used car
salesman that just wanted to get him out
of the way and he's like, I want to join
the army. So his his stepdad, the used
car salesman, comes in, is like smooth
talks the recruiter, convinces him that
no, he is 17 or 18, whatever the [ __ ]
the age limit was, when he was like 15.
So he ends up joining the army. He's at
uh I think it was Eioima and he [ __ ]
jumps on a live grenade and then grabs
another live grenade and pulls it under
him. Both grenades blow up. Somehow he
[ __ ] survives.
He ends up getting the Medal of Honor
and then he has to go back to high
school because they found out he wasn't
old enough. So homie was rolling up to
high school. The most decorated award he
with the Medal of Honor to finish high
school. Like how do you say to these
kids? It's like a [ __ ] 15-year-old
going to high school or like that. It's
like, "Yeah, I took two grenades. What
do you do?" It reminds me of uh that
movie like Catch Me If You Can. like uh
the the Frank uh Frank Abagnail. Yeah.
Abn Frank Abagnail. Yeah. Like just
cheat like uh at a young age he was just
lying or when he did the um
when he pretended to be the substitute
teacher. He was a sub substitute
teacher, the [ __ ] the airline pilot.
Like he pretended to be a doctor, like
all sorts of [ __ ] But have you heard
the controversy about that sincem?
There's like the there's actual
controversy that apparently uh they're
saying that like half of his story was
made up which is hilarious because he
was a con man. That's like well he
supposedly passed the bar exam too in
the movie. That's what they said. But
like there's some controversy about like
they're like some of the dates that you
gave us for this. You were in jail when
that allegedly happened. It's It's
hilarious that the story about like one
of the greatest like youngest con men
ever is like potentially a con a con
Conception.
No, it's uh what he did cuz he even
worked for FBI or whoever the government
for fake and fraudulent checks because
he was so good at that. And I know he
caught a [ __ ] ton of people because of
it. And later on, I think he went to go
uh like found like a uh anti-fraud firm
or something like that, like a security
firm that basically handled uh stuff
like that. Just good on him. Pulling the
ladder up on everybody else. What a
piece of [ __ ] I made [ __ ] y'all down
there. It's a great movie, too. Is that
Is that turn that milk into butter? Was
it Catch Me If You Can? Yeah. Was it
Scorsesei? Oh, does Scorsesi do that?
Catch Me If You Can. Was it Spielberg?
Spielberg. Spielberg. Spielberg. You
want to know what a good [ __ ] movie
is? The Death of a Unicorn. I just
watched it in theater with my wife like
two days ago. It's hilarious. It's got
Paul Rudd and that girl that plays um uh
the girl from the Adams family in the
new [ __ ] rerun, whatever. Oh, I know
what you're talking about. Popular
actress. I have not seen it. Uh such a
good movie. Wednesday. Yeah, Wednesday
Adams. It's a girl that plays her. It's
her and Paul Rudd and they like go out
and they're meeting with some like dying
businessman with cancer or whatever and
he's like on his deathbed and Paul
Rudd's the lawyer that's going to like
oversee the estate and he's like trying
to close this deal and they [ __ ]
spoiler alert they hit a unicorn on
their way up there into this guy's like
huge mansion out in the woods and the
unicorn dead body. They like don't know
what to do. So they throw it in the
trunk and then the unicorn has like
healing properties and it turns into
like this whole [ __ ] show just spirals.
But it's just this movie of like I think
there's zero fat on the movie. It's like
John Wick like there's no background.
Just fun to watch. Here's what happened.
Just action for an hour and 20 minutes.
5 minute conclusion. [ __ ] credits
roll at the end. Just turn your brain
off and laugh. Yeah. Just fun [ __ ] This
looks [ __ ] wild. Cocaine Bear kind of
I haven't seen Cocaine Bears. Oh, dude.
Is it good? Have you watched? No, I
haven't seen it. I haven't seen it
either. I just know the premise. Is this
like Hobo with a shotgun? Yeah, it's
Cocaine Bears. I think it was just like,
hey, this let's just have fun with this.
Like it Well, it's based off real life.
Yeah. Other than they like Well, I'm
like extremely loosely. Yeah. Well, it's
like every horror movie ever. They're
like this is based off of true events.
is like there was in fact a farmhouse.
There was a farmhouse where somebody
heard some steps one day. A cocaine bear
they have um the kids do coke in it too.
That movie go Yeah, dude. That that
movie is a fun ass time. Like the kids
find it. They don't know what it is.
They accidentally get into it. Cocaine's
too hot. This cocaine's too cold.
They're like this cocaine's just right.
What's wrong with your kid? I don't
know. And he's like, I feel so
good. Like they're running. The bear is
just mauling everyone. everyone. That's
violent as [ __ ] And then it's just
coked up out of its mind. It falls in
love with cocaine. So then it's just
Speaking of cocaine, uh, in To Kill a
Unicorn, the Who's the the actor? He's
like the nerdy kid in Meet the We're the
Millers or Meet the Millers, whatever
the [ __ ] that movie is. The guy who
plays in the new Marvel [ __ ] now. Yes,
he plays in Marvel [ __ ] now. The
Redhead. Yeah. Anyways, he uh he's like
the rich entitled prick son. And he's
like Yeah. He's [ __ ] grinding up.
He's like grinding up the unicorn
horning it. He's the one that's like,
"You want me to suck that Mexican cop's dick
dick
Oh god, I haven't seen Me the Millers in
a minute. What's 10,000? It's like 50
bucks. Oh, I I'll just give you 50
bucks. How the [ __ ] have I never heard
of this movie? He He turned out to be an
incredible actor. not just the punching
bag of Hollywood cuz he's something Adam
I think
it's a funny movie so and it's audience
love it like critics are going to hit
yes it's like critics versus audience so
it's a good it's a fun me and Hannah
have date night so I see every movie in
the theaters pretty much like just cuz
to do it and uh the new Jason Stathithm
movie is super good too uh working man
so basically beekeeper 2 it's it's
beekeeper 2 it's literally All it is is
a uh I don't remember who it was but I
mean the entire it's it's another Jason
beats people up. There's there's five
minutes of introduction of like Jason
Staithm works construction but he used
to be former SAS guy. Go beat that guy
up. Oh wow. We didn't know he used to be
a Navy Seal. Now he's going to kill us
all. But in the movie eight times. Hey
Brandon, you ever wake up in your bed
feeling like you just fought in a war?
All clear. Yeah. Why do you ask? You
ever wake up and feel like you slept in
a sauna? Yeah, I believe that's called
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Sleep better. stay cooler. He like opts
to carry the M14 to go on like the final
mission cuz that's what he had when he
was in the service or whatever. But his
his service buddy that hooks him up with
the M14 has this at first I thought it
was a thermal. Like it's an ungodly big
scope and I was like, "What the [ __ ] is
that?" And he's running around with it
just mking dudes the whole time. And
then he finally gets to the seat. He's
got the got the little flip down um pad
on his vest and he's like taking machine
gun fire and he flips a little pad down
and it's a [ __ ] Bluetooth scope. So
he just holds the gun up looking dick
just [ __ ] domes the guy. How never
heard of this. Dude, there's so many
good movies out right now that like
they're not major blockbusters. They're
just good. They're just silly and funny.
Good '8s movies of like We got the uh
The Accountant 2 coming out on the 25th.
I'm stoked. Yeah, I'm stoked for that.
We were just We all went to my house the
other day and watched The Accountant,
the original one, just to like prep for
it. That was a better movie than I
remember it being. I remember it being
good. Cool. But it was it was just fun.
It doesn't have to make sense. It's just
[ __ ] cool as [ __ ] Those movies are
the ones you just go in. Don't again
just go into it having fun. And don't go
in thinking it's like, well, this is
going to be the next Lord of the Rings
or this epic story. It's never going to
happen again. No, just going to have a
good time. Beekeeper. I love Beekeeper.
It was just [ __ ] stupid time. Working
Man sounds like a great movie. That and
like Working Man. Uh I think it would
have dethroned Snow White. Yeah, it was
already like tragically crashing like
some random [ __ ] Jason State the
movie. That movie was horrible. You had
to watch it. You went and watched it? I
took my kids. Yeah, it was god awful
because they originally started out they
had seven dwarves and then Peter
Dinklage Yeah. rode in on his small
horse and [ __ ] was like, "You can't
portray short people as dwarves in a
movie. That's bad." And then all the
other dwarf actors that aren't A-listers
are like, "Bro, there's only like seven
roles a year that require a dwarf. And
now there's a movie with [ __ ] seven
of them and you're [ __ ] over
everybody else. So then they're like mad
that they weren't dwarfs from the guy
who made his entire living being called
a halfman on HBO. Yeah, he pulled up.
Seriously, what half? Yes. Peter
Dinklage got his [ __ ] panties in a
box. All those dudes probably wanted to
play that movie. Yeah, they did. So they
were all pissed off. So he pulled up the
stool after like Okay, well we're not
going to do There's no
ladder the step stool ladder. There's a
stool. Oh god. the one we used to get to
the highway. We just picked it up and
walked away with it, dude. So then
they're like, "Okay, well, we'll just
have seven people." So they get
basically got like the seven DEI hires.
It was like the the most diverse seven
people on the [ __ ] planet that you
could possibly imagine. Only one of them
was a little person. Yep. And then they
leaked that that's what they were doing
and everybody got super pissed and
they're like, "No, it's Snow White and
the Seven Dwarfs, not Snow White and the
seven random [ __ ] living in the
forest." So they're like Snow White and
the Seven Egypties.
They're like, "Well, we'll CGI the
dwarves." Which is what they did, which
is fine. They CGI the dwarves. I heard
they look horrible. They looked fine to
be fair. Like it that was fine. That
part didn't bother me. But then like
they had apparently already hired the
seven DEI hires to play in the crew. So
they couldn't fire them because they
were going to get [ __ ] sued because
they had apparently already filmed like
half the [ __ ] movie. So now they just
like, well, uh, you guys are a band of
thieves. So now it's Snow White, the
seven dwarves, and a band of thieves
that were originally the seven dwarfs.
So now there's a new band of thieves. So
like literally the whole movie, the
whole story line's [ __ ] up because
it's like 75% of the movie is
introducing you to the 30 [ __ ]
characters that are now involved in this
movie. And then there's like 10 minutes
that the whole Poison Apple and all the
[ __ ] I'm not kidding you. I went up,
walked out, took a piss, came back in.
Everything regarding a poison apple had
already happened and the movie was over
right after they introduced all the
characters. Wait, the poison apple just
happens at the end of this. Yeah. Yeah.
No, the whole movie is like 75%
introducing all the characters and then
the whole story line and conclusion
wraps up in like 20 minutes. That the
thing really weird. The thing that
shocked me when I saw the clip start to
circulate online like on Twitter and
[ __ ] is the uh the the screenshot that
everybody uses of Yeah, she's doing the
the [ __ ] Leonardo DiCaprio from Wolf
of Wall Street that all that [ __ ] I
thought that that was a photoshop. I
thought that they were purposely making
her look [ __ ] Nope. Oh, that's a
genuine screenshot from the a knife, the
sword when it's pointed at. I don't know
who has a sword, but the sword at her
and the huntsman or whatever. Yeah. And
she's like,
Nick, have you seen that? The lady doing
like like acting like she's her. Jamie,
bring it
up. You like that is a real actual
screenshot of the movie. I don't think
I'll ever watch that movie. Yeah, it's
funny. Oh, let's You want to talk about
Minecraft? I haven't seen it yet. this
again. I haven't seen it yet either. I
thought we should all go see it
together. I saw the one viral clip where
when somebody touches the creeper and it
starts blinking orange, the one dude
yells Allah Akbar really loud in the
movie theater and everybody laughs. I
I like the creeper starts blinking
orange. It's about to blow up and
somebody just screams out of the top of
Well, dude, they've had to shut down
movie theaters this week because when
they drop the tiny zombie on top of the
chicken, like people just go crazy in
the theaters, start throwing popcorn,
start throwing water bottles at the
screen. Some minimum wage employees
because people can't behave in public. I
don't know. I've talked to a couple
people that work at movie theaters. A
chicken. They love that job. So, I just
mean like having to clean all this [ __ ]
out. the amount of they love it because
he's like, "Dude, the amount of [ __ ]
I iPods and [ __ ] that I have for free
just falling out of people's pockets.
They keep them."
Yeah. Sorry. Continue. But no, no, no.
There there's just been this big this
big thing going on this week, people
going to see the the new Minecraft
movie, and as soon as Jason Mimoa shows
up in the ring, and uh there's a chicken
and a little baby zombie drops down on
the chicken, everyone just goes crazy
and starts throwing popcorn. The chicken
jockey. Yeah, the chicken jockey. And
it's been a big thing like across the
United States where people go crazy and
just just just go absolutely nuts
ruining movie theaters. Well, if it was
now, it's caught on. So now it's just
everything. Yeah, it's caught on like
hell. And like Jack Black came out
earlier, I think it was today or
yesterday, and he was like, "Yeah, I
love it." Cuz people are just going nuts
over it. It's like people aren't
watching it because it's a good movie.
People are watching it because it's such
a meme that it's such a bad [ __ ]
movie. So I'm not sure I would get any
of the joke. I've never played
Minecraft, so I don't know if I don't
know that there's jokes for my I Steve
and you dig and you build [ __ ] Pretty
pretty basic. Oh, we'reing old, dude.
You played Minecraft, I think. Yeah,
dude. I played Minecraft when John was two years old on my lap. I used to play
two years old on my lap. I used to play Minecraft beta. Oh, I I guarantee. Have
Minecraft beta. Oh, I I guarantee. Have you played Minecraft at all? I both of
you played Minecraft at all? I both of y'all the most. It is super hard to be
y'all the most. It is super hard to be like, "Oh, this will be fun." And then
like, "Oh, this will be fun." And then you start mining and then you find
you start mining and then you find unexplored caves and then you start
unexplored caves and then you start building in those unexplored caves and
building in those unexplored caves and then you start looking for diamond. It
then you start looking for diamond. It it gets out of hand real fast. Did you
it gets out of hand real fast. Did you see the uh cuz who's the the it's Notch
see the uh cuz who's the the it's Notch I think. Yep. The creator was the uh
I think. Yep. The creator was the uh Yeah, the the creator of Minecraft. What
Yeah, the the creator of Minecraft. What What did they say? What was that tweet
What did they say? What was that tweet that somebody said
that somebody said about which part? Where they were
about which part? Where they were accusing him of a bunch of [ __ ]
accusing him of a bunch of [ __ ] Forgive me if this is not a verbatim
Forgive me if this is not a verbatim tweet cuz this is, you know, a
tweet cuz this is, you know, a conversation I had two weeks ago, but uh
conversation I had two weeks ago, but uh somebody was uh accusing him of bunch of
somebody was uh accusing him of bunch of [ __ ] He's like, "Oh, you mean that
[ __ ] He's like, "Oh, you mean that racist homophobic millionaire Notch?"
racist homophobic millionaire Notch?" First off, billionaire. That's what he
First off, billionaire. That's what he he literally he tweet he's like
he literally he tweet he's like billionaire.
That's [ __ ] great, dude. He once he sold that for he sold it for like 3.2
sold that for he sold it for like 3.2 3.8 As the story goes, he he built it in
3.8 As the story goes, he he built it in a weekend for a contest or something, a
a weekend for a contest or something, a Java contest. Yep. And then he sold it
Java contest. Yep. And then he sold it for how much? 3.2 or 3.8 billion to uh
for how much? 3.2 or 3.8 billion to uh Microsoft. And when he built it, you had
Microsoft. And when he built it, you had 2009 2010. Came out for alpha. It was
2009 2010. Came out for alpha. It was dwarf something dwarf if I remember
dwarf something dwarf if I remember right. And then it was Minecraft. And
right. And then it was Minecraft. And you'd have to buy it through his PayPal
you'd have to buy it through his PayPal account cuz I bought it through PayPal.
account cuz I bought it through PayPal. This is [ __ ] Oh, same dude back in
This is [ __ ] Oh, same dude back in the day. Yeah. And then I remember he
the day. Yeah. And then I remember he posted on our message board in the
posted on our message board in the Minecraft ones that he got um flagged.
Minecraft ones that he got um flagged. PayPal like locked his account cuz they
PayPal like locked his account cuz they thought he was laundering money cuz he
thought he was laundering money cuz he was pulling out like $180,000 a day cuz
was pulling out like $180,000 a day cuz the game just blew up. And he was like,
the game just blew up. And he was like, "Ah,
"Ah, here you go. I I found it." It was
here you go. I I found it." It was somebody was quoting something of Notch
somebody was quoting something of Notch and somebody replied, "Notch is a racist
and somebody replied, "Notch is a racist anti-semite millionaire. His input
anti-semite millionaire. His input doesn't mean anything." He just goes
doesn't mean anything." He just goes asterisk billionaire.
asterisk billionaire. He's living his best life from you watch
He's living his best life from you watch him on um they had him on some talk
him on um they had him on some talk shows and they're like so what is it
shows and they're like so what is it now? He's like just hanging out. I'm
now? He's like just hanging out. I'm just rich now. Don't have to worry about
just rich now. Don't have to worry about anything. He uh I talked to him on
anything. He uh I talked to him on Twitter sometimes. He replies to some of
Twitter sometimes. He replies to some of my [ __ ] Yeah, he's he's pretty uh
my [ __ ] Yeah, he's he's pretty uh pretty based dude. He's just he's just
pretty based dude. He's just he's just made his what? Microsoft bought
made his what? Microsoft bought Minecraft for 2.5 billion 2014. He's
Minecraft for 2.5 billion 2014. He's just living his best life now. And he
just living his best life now. And he still has residuals. Yeah. And he's he's
still has residuals. Yeah. And he's he's still like I think he's just talking
still like I think he's just talking about making a new game here soon. He's
about making a new game here soon. He's just he's just chilling and tweeting and
just he's just chilling and tweeting and like living his best life. He sold
like living his best life. He sold Minecraft but still gets residuals. He
Minecraft but still gets residuals. He does. Let's see how it worked. How much
does. Let's see how it worked. How much does Notch make from Minecraft?
does Notch make from Minecraft? Hey Brandon. Yes Eli. When you think of
Hey Brandon. Yes Eli. When you think of businesses that are just crushing it
businesses that are just crushing it bunker on what's the first thing to
bunker on what's the first thing to enter your mind? That's easy Eli. A good
enter your mind? That's easy Eli. A good child labor law attorney.
child labor law attorney. Huh? Eli, I said Shopify. What did you
Huh? Eli, I said Shopify. What did you hear? Actually, uh, it was the
hear? Actually, uh, it was the overlooked secret behind the business.
overlooked secret behind the business. Like I said, Shopify. Oh, which brings
Like I said, Shopify. Oh, which brings us to today's ad, Shopify? I mean, we
us to today's ad, Shopify? I mean, we use Shopify on a daily basis. That's
use Shopify on a daily basis. That's right. We use Shopify for bunker
right. We use Shopify for bunker branding and Unsub, those magical shoes
branding and Unsub, those magical shoes we have. Well, they're linked through
we have. Well, they're linked through Shopify to the mythical store Bunker
Shopify to the mythical store Bunker Branding. And because of Shopify, they
Branding. And because of Shopify, they communicate. Hey, it's like your mom and
communicate. Hey, it's like your mom and your dad on their anniversary night, not
your dad on their anniversary night, not yours.
Nobody does selling better than Shopify. They are home of the number one checkout
They are home of the number one checkout on the planet. With Shop Pay, which
on the planet. With Shop Pay, which boosts your conversion up to 50%.
boosts your conversion up to 50%. 50% just like the age of all of our
50% just like the age of all of our factory workers are 50% the age they
factory workers are 50% the age they need to be to be legally employed in the
need to be to be legally employed in the United States. Upgrade your business and
United States. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we get over at
get the same checkout we get over at Unsubscribe or Bunker. Sign up for your
Unsubscribe or Bunker. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period over at
$1 per month trial period over at shopify.com/unsubpod.
shopify.com/unsubpod. Head over to
Head over to shopify.com/unsubpod to upgrade your
shopify.com/unsubpod to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/unsubpod.
selling today. Shopify.com/unsubpod. All lowercase.
All lowercase. Like I know it's kind of the meme at
Like I know it's kind of the meme at this point, but if they release
this point, but if they release Minecraft 2, it's game over for the the
Minecraft 2, it's game over for the the highest grossing game of all time. The
highest grossing game of all time. The cell made him a billionaire. additional
cell made him a billionaire. additional Notch earns uh like in 2012 from
Notch earns uh like in 2012 from Minecraft sales he made $101 million.
Minecraft sales he made $101 million. God
God because Minecraft made Microsoft all
because Minecraft made Microsoft all [ __ ] So even if he was like hey give
[ __ ] So even if he was like hey give me like one to 5% and then do whatever
me like one to 5% and then do whatever the [ __ ] you want with the rest of it.
the [ __ ] you want with the rest of it. He he's he's quite
He he's he's quite fine and to have that overnight success
fine and to have that overnight success because again it was overnight PayPal.
because again it was overnight PayPal. He didn't know what to do. PayPal locked
He didn't know what to do. PayPal locked his account. Hey, I'm talking to PayPal.
his account. Hey, I'm talking to PayPal. They thought I was laundering money, so
They thought I was laundering money, so I'm It's locked, so I can't sell the
I'm It's locked, so I can't sell the game right now. Sorry. Got it figured
game right now. Sorry. Got it figured out. Got a banking account set up that
out. Got a banking account set up that can handle it. And then had to transfer
can handle it. And then had to transfer everything. But it was just chaos cuz
everything. But it was just chaos cuz again, $180,000 a day or something like
again, $180,000 a day or something like that. And he was like,
that. And he was like, uh, and that was overnight cuz he free
uh, and that was overnight cuz he free game. Then he was like, I'll just charge
game. Then he was like, I'll just charge 10 bucks for
10 bucks for it. And that's lifechanging money for
it. And that's lifechanging money for most people every day. every day. That's
most people every day. every day. That's [ __ ] wild. You know, what do you do
[ __ ] wild. You know, what do you do with that?
with that? Whatever you want. Apparently become an
Whatever you want. Apparently become an anti-semite on the internet.
And I don't know how much they bought. He's doing quite fine for himself. Nick,
He's doing quite fine for himself. Nick, what uh what videos do you have in the
what uh what videos do you have in the works for any history [ __ ] coming up? Uh
works for any history [ __ ] coming up? Uh I'm working on John Paul Jones.
I'm working on John Paul Jones. big fan of him as Darth Vader.
big fan of him as Darth Vader. No, it's the the father of America's
No, it's the the father of America's Navy. So, it's basically the this
Navy. So, it's basically the this Scottish guy that was a merchant marine
Scottish guy that was a merchant marine and then killed one of his crewmen
and then killed one of his crewmen because they tried to have a mutiny. And
because they tried to have a mutiny. And then he knew he wasn't going to get a
then he knew he wasn't going to get a fair trial. So, he fled to America. And
fair trial. So, he fled to America. And then that was like right when the
then that was like right when the revolution was kicking off. So, he's
revolution was kicking off. So, he's like, "And I'll volunteer for the
like, "And I'll volunteer for the Continental Navy." And he does. and he
Continental Navy." And he does. and he ends up being present in when they
ends up being present in when they attack a new province, which is
attack a new province, which is basically the Bahamas. And they launch
basically the Bahamas. And they launch this guerilla raid to like seize a bunch
this guerilla raid to like seize a bunch of gunpowder and [ __ ] And then he does
of gunpowder and [ __ ] And then he does really good. So they end up giving him a
really good. So they end up giving him a ship and basically just give him the
ship and basically just give him the orders of like, "Hey, go [ __ ] with the
orders of like, "Hey, go [ __ ] with the British." So he sails across the ocean
British." So he sails across the ocean and launches raids on England. And he's
and launches raids on England. And he's like the first person to like make an
like the first person to like make an attack on mainland England. like 700
attack on mainland England. like 700 [ __ ] years since the Vikings did it.
[ __ ] years since the Vikings did it. And it's just a [ __ ] [ __ ] show of a
And it's just a [ __ ] [ __ ] show of a story. Like wait, when it was they were
story. Like wait, when it was they were trying to go after America and he's
trying to go after America and he's like, "Fuck this. I'm going to Yeah.
like, "Fuck this. I'm going to Yeah. Well, and that's why it was a brilliant
Well, and that's why it was a brilliant strategy because it's like no one's
strategy because it's like no one's going to expect that. He's back there.
going to expect that. He's back there. They're undefended. So, he's terrorizing
They're undefended. So, he's terrorizing England. So, they're having to send back
England. So, they're having to send back like a huge portion of their navy to go
like a huge portion of their navy to go patrol to make the citizenry feel safe.
patrol to make the citizenry feel safe. So it like just this massively
So it like just this massively disproportionate effect of like he just
disproportionate effect of like he just took out [ __ ] two fleets from the
took out [ __ ] two fleets from the British Navy that are no longer allowed
British Navy that are no longer allowed to like interrupt America's business and
to like interrupt America's business and like patrol their coasts and [ __ ] cuz
like patrol their coasts and [ __ ] cuz they have to now go back and guard their
they have to now go back and guard their home turf. It's pretty smart. Yeah.
home turf. It's pretty smart. Yeah. You're going in. It's like you're
You're going in. It's like you're batgating. And he was like the whole
batgating. And he was like the whole time he was like [ __ ] up cities
time he was like [ __ ] up cities straight up guorilla warfare mindset.
straight up guorilla warfare mindset. He's like all right we're going to go in
He's like all right we're going to go in and this is where this [ __ ] town
and this is where this [ __ ] town stores all the coal for the entire
stores all the coal for the entire region. we're going to go in there and
region. we're going to go in there and burn down all their coal reserves. Was
burn down all their coal reserves. Was like the [ __ ] he the [ __ ] he was
like the [ __ ] he the [ __ ] he was planning. He's like, "We'll see how much
planning. He's like, "We'll see how much they care about owning the new colonies
they care about owning the new colonies when they're cold all winter." Like dude
when they're cold all winter." Like dude was legit as [ __ ] Which is also like
was legit as [ __ ] Which is also like just imagine just just on the logistics
just imagine just just on the logistics alone back in, you know, the the late
alone back in, you know, the the late 1700s
1700s having to take all of those ships and
having to take all of those ships and manpower and everything to the Americas
manpower and everything to the Americas and then immediately send them back. And
and then immediately send them back. And what were you waiting for? Message.
what were you waiting for? Message. Yeah. of Hey, we're getting [ __ ] up
Yeah. of Hey, we're getting [ __ ] up over here. Someone went behind us and
over here. Someone went behind us and now attacking our cities. How many
now attacking our cities. How many hundreds of dudes and how many, you
hundreds of dudes and how many, you know, months of time did you just burn
know, months of time did you just burn and ships? It's like two months. Well,
and ships? It's like two months. Well, he's like his whole thing was like he he
he's like his whole thing was like he he had Marines. So, cuz I mean it was right
had Marines. So, cuz I mean it was right when the Marine Corps got started at a
when the Marine Corps got started at a time tavern and like he exploited the
time tavern and like he exploited the [ __ ] out of having Marines. So, like his
[ __ ] out of having Marines. So, like his ships, America couldn't build a big
ships, America couldn't build a big warship. Like they just they didn't have
warship. Like they just they didn't have So like he's the USS Ranger was like 18
So like he's the USS Ranger was like 18 guns which wouldn't like a big ship back
guns which wouldn't like a big ship back then was like 42 50 gun ship. So he's
then was like 42 50 gun ship. So he's got like he's got like 18. So he's just
got like he's got like 18. So he's just got this little fast ship with Marines
got this little fast ship with Marines but he just [ __ ] covered the deck in
but he just [ __ ] covered the deck in those little swivel guns, the little
those little swivel guns, the little tiny cannons and [ __ ] musketss. And
tiny cannons and [ __ ] musketss. And he's like, "All right, here's the
he's like, "All right, here's the [ __ ] plan,
[ __ ] plan, boys. We're just going to gun it and
boys. We're just going to gun it and [ __ ] crash into them. And as soon as
[ __ ] crash into them. And as soon as we crash, [ __ ] tie our ship to theirs
we crash, [ __ ] tie our ship to theirs and we're going to go [ __ ] them up." And
and we're going to go [ __ ] them up." And like he he he caught the USS or not the
like he he he caught the USS or not the USS the HMS Serapist which is like an
USS the HMS Serapist which is like an actual British warship. It's like the
actual British warship. It's like the only time somebody had ever [ __ ]
only time somebody had ever [ __ ] commandeered a British warship that
commandeered a British warship that should have outclassed him. He's like,
should have outclassed him. He's like, "Nah, [ __ ] you." Pulls up next to him,
"Nah, [ __ ] you." Pulls up next to him, ties his boat to his, and the Marines
ties his boat to his, and the Marines just go out there and beat the out of
just go out there and beat the out of everybody. His ship sank. That wasn't
everybody. His ship sank. That wasn't the Ranger. That was the uh the Bomb
the Ranger. That was the uh the Bomb Richard was his ship at the time. His
Richard was his ship at the time. His ship ends up sinking because the British
ship ends up sinking because the British are just [ __ ] blowing holes in it.
are just [ __ ] blowing holes in it. But all the Marines are on their ship,
But all the Marines are on their ship, so they just [ __ ] took their [ __ ]
so they just [ __ ] took their [ __ ] ship.
ship. The Bomb Rashard or the Bomb Richard?
The Bomb Rashard or the Bomb Richard? Uh, Baham Rashard. It's basically It's a
Uh, Baham Rashard. It's basically It's a French version of Bottom Richard, which
French version of Bottom Richard, which was Ben Franklin's pin name during the
was Ben Franklin's pin name during the Revolutionary Warfare [ __ ] Really?
Revolutionary Warfare [ __ ] Really? Yeah. Poor Richard was what he like
Yeah. Poor Richard was what he like wrote his his alias or whatever that he
wrote his his alias or whatever that he wrote his names under. So that's what
wrote his names under. So that's what the ship was named after. So that ship
the ship was named after. So that ship sinks, but they took over the HMS
sinks, but they took over the HMS Serapus, and he basically had to go and
Serapus, and he basically had to go and dock it inside of a a Dutch port, which
dock it inside of a a Dutch port, which was a neutral territory. So the British
was a neutral territory. So the British had all these warships just waiting
had all these warships just waiting outside the Dutch harbor for him to come
outside the Dutch harbor for him to come out, and he's like, "I'm not [ __ ]
out, and he's like, "I'm not [ __ ] leaving." And then finally they were put
leaving." And then finally they were put like political pressure, so the Dutch
like political pressure, so the Dutch were like telling him to [ __ ] off. So,
were like telling him to [ __ ] off. So, he ends up like sneaking out in the
he ends up like sneaking out in the middle of the night and they wanted him
middle of the night and they wanted him to they wanted him to fly a uh a French
to they wanted him to fly a uh a French flag. They like came up with a legal
flag. They like came up with a legal reason that he would be able to fly a
reason that he would be able to fly a French flag, meaning the the British
French flag, meaning the the British weren't going to be able to attack him.
weren't going to be able to attack him. Oh. And uh he's like, "No, this is
Oh. And uh he's like, "No, this is American ship. [ __ ] y'all." So, he lost
American ship. [ __ ] y'all." So, he lost his flag when his ship sank. So, he like
his flag when his ship sank. So, he like just has like the description from like
just has like the description from like Benjamin Franklin and some letters and
Benjamin Franklin and some letters and [ __ ] of the American flag. Yeah, this is
[ __ ] of the American flag. Yeah, this is where the the the serapus flag comes
where the the the serapus flag comes from is what it's called after the ship,
from is what it's called after the ship, the serapus. He goes to some Dutch
the serapus. He goes to some Dutch seamstress and she just like throws
seamstress and she just like throws together what she can from the like
together what she can from the like shitty description of the current
shitty description of the current American flag and he [ __ ] slaps that
American flag and he [ __ ] slaps that [ __ ] on the ship and sails out in the
[ __ ] on the ship and sails out in the middle of the night and makes us get
middle of the night and makes us get away. Why does it sound like some [ __ ]
away. Why does it sound like some [ __ ] we would do? Hey guys, here's a ship.
we would do? Hey guys, here's a ship. Okay, what we're going to do is we're
Okay, what we're going to do is we're going to put guns, little guns on the
going to put guns, little guns on the side of it. We're going to crash into
side of it. We're going to crash into them. That's the flag that she came up
them. That's the flag that she came up with. That's the only time it's ever
with. That's the only time it's ever like been like legitimately flown in US
like been like legitimately flown in US history was
history was some Dutch seamstress.
some Dutch seamstress. We need to start using that for stuff. I
We need to start using that for stuff. I love that [ __ ] flag design. The uh
love that [ __ ] flag design. The uh I'm still stuck on the fact like that's
I'm still stuck on the fact like that's a that's a very cool story. I haven't
a that's a very cool story. I haven't heard that in a while. Like I just got
heard that in a while. Like I just got like flashbacks to [ __ ] high school
like flashbacks to [ __ ] high school history. But
history. But uh I I just I'm still stuck on Benjamin
uh I I just I'm still stuck on Benjamin Franklin's pen name being was poor
Franklin's pen name being was poor Richard. Yeah. Imagine all of your
Richard. Yeah. Imagine all of your diplomacy for a budding country in the
diplomacy for a budding country in the middle of a war. All the correspondences
middle of a war. All the correspondences being done by a guy under the pen name
being done by a guy under the pen name Broke Dick. Well, I think I think these
Broke Dick. Well, I think I think these I think it was like secret letters.
I think it was like secret letters. Sincerely, Broke Dick.
Sincerely, Broke Dick. But like the there's just some funny
But like the there's just some funny [ __ ] that happens because like back in
[ __ ] that happens because like back in the day, so like when the Continental
the day, so like when the Continental Navy was getting started,
Navy was getting started, it they're trying to start a navy, but
it they're trying to start a navy, but like they also don't really want a navy
like they also don't really want a navy because they don't want to be a global
because they don't want to be a global power. They just want people to be leave
power. They just want people to be leave them the [ __ ] alone. So like a lot of
them the [ __ ] alone. So like a lot of people have turn tables, right?
people have turn tables, right? Well, he's the reason that we became a
Well, he's the reason that we became a like big naval power. Um, so they're not
like big naval power. Um, so they're not really paying Navy dudes [ __ ] but
really paying Navy dudes [ __ ] but they're also issuing letters of mark,
they're also issuing letters of mark, which basically means like any [ __ ]
which basically means like any [ __ ] dude that has enough money to buy a boat
dude that has enough money to buy a boat is legally allowed by the US government
is legally allowed by the US government to go out and seize British [ __ ] and
to go out and seize British [ __ ] and just keep the spoils. Is it letters of
just keep the spoils. Is it letters of mark or marquee?
mark or marquee? Uh, I think it's just letters of Mark
Uh, I think it's just letters of Mark should be short for
should be short for marquee. I I genuinely don't know.
marquee. I I genuinely don't know. That's either way they're issuing that.
That's either way they're issuing that. So like that basically makes you a
So like that basically makes you a Corsair. You're basically a pirate, but
Corsair. You're basically a pirate, but you're Exactly. They're they're just
you're Exactly. They're they're just telling rednecks, "Go be pirates."
telling rednecks, "Go be pirates." Exactly. So, like everybody's going to
Exactly. So, like everybody's going to do that. So, like a lot of the Navy
do that. So, like a lot of the Navy dudes that are signing up for him, like
dudes that are signing up for him, like every time they get the opportunity to
every time they get the opportunity to like do some real [ __ ] that would do
like do some real [ __ ] that would do damage, they just would kind of want to
damage, they just would kind of want to like go plunder [ __ ] And he's like
like go plunder [ __ ] And he's like trying to be a professional about it.
trying to be a professional about it. So, he he launches this raid on White
So, he he launches this raid on White Haven and he wants to go like burn down
Haven and he wants to go like burn down all the ships in the harbor. and his f
all the ships in the harbor. and his f he like sends out his group and his
he like sends out his group and his group goes and does what they're
group goes and does what they're supposed to and the two other groups go
supposed to and the two other groups go and just break into a bar and get
and just break into a bar and get shitfaced and then like he's like well
shitfaced and then like he's like well [ __ ] we got to do something. So he's
[ __ ] we got to do something. So he's like okay we're going to sail up to
like okay we're going to sail up to Scotland and there's this Earl you know
Scotland and there's this Earl you know like some highranking aristocrat and
like some highranking aristocrat and Earl we're going to [ __ ] go kidnap
Earl we're going to [ __ ] go kidnap him and then trade him for a bunch of
him and then trade him for a bunch of American sailors. They show up to his
American sailors. They show up to his house. He's not there. So all of his
house. He's not there. So all of his sailors like the Marines are the only
sailors like the Marines are the only ones that have his back. Like the
ones that have his back. Like the Marines are like, "No, you're not
Marines are like, "No, you're not [ __ ] touching the captain." The
[ __ ] touching the captain." The sailors are like they're ready to launch
sailors are like they're ready to launch mutiny and be [ __ ] pirates the entire
mutiny and be [ __ ] pirates the entire time. And so the Earl's not there. And
time. And so the Earl's not there. And they're like, "Let's start sexually
they're like, "Let's start sexually assaulting people and stealing
assaulting people and stealing everything." And he's like, "No,
everything." And he's like, "No, no, we're not actually pirates. That is
no, we're not actually pirates. That is that is not what I said."
that is not what I said." So, why are you wearing the rape hat?
What's that sword you guys carry called? Oh no.
I don't know. It doesn't have a name yet. Just doing I wonder what they'll
yet. Just doing I wonder what they'll call it after this week. Just doing some
call it after this week. Just doing some pillaging.
pillaging. So he like he's like stuck in this
So he like he's like stuck in this situation where like the Marines got his
situation where like the Marines got his back, but his crew wants to do this. And
back, but his crew wants to do this. And he's like, "All right, just [ __ ] it.
he's like, "All right, just [ __ ] it. We're going to go steal their silver
We're going to go steal their silver set." And he like goes and he steals
set." And he like goes and he steals this Earl's like silver set, which is
this Earl's like silver set, which is like, you know, big [ __ ] deal.
like, you know, big [ __ ] deal. whatever, I guess. So, he steals this
whatever, I guess. So, he steals this Earl Silver set and then he like
Earl Silver set and then he like immediately starts writing the Earl's
immediately starts writing the Earl's wife and is like, "Madame, I'm so sorry.
wife and is like, "Madame, I'm so sorry. Blah blah blah blah blah. You know, I'm
Blah blah blah blah blah. You know, I'm going to I'll I'll personally buy it at
going to I'll I'll personally buy it at auction and return it to you. I'm very
auction and return it to you. I'm very literally trying to [ __ ] this chick."
literally trying to [ __ ] this chick." And I know he's trying to [ __ ] her
And I know he's trying to [ __ ] her because he makes copies of the letter
because he makes copies of the letter and forwards copies to Ben Franklin,
and forwards copies to Ben Franklin, which is like the ultimate womanizer of
which is like the ultimate womanizer of the founding fathers. Like, "Hey, bro,
the founding fathers. Like, "Hey, bro, check this out."
check this out." Literally the 1700's equivalent of
Literally the 1700's equivalent of sending screenshots of spinning game.
sending screenshots of spinning game. She opens up that last letter. It's a
She opens up that last letter. It's a dick drawn.
dick drawn. It's like a Thanksgiving turkey hand.
It's like a Thanksgiving turkey hand. It's just on there. What's What's that
It's just on there. What's What's that sword called again?
Or he dipped it in ink and just smashed it on the paper. Kind of like I do on
it on the paper. Kind of like I do on all my NFA forms.
all my NFA forms. Do you want my thumb print? All right.
Do you want my thumb print? All right. His right thumb. It's always weird. It's
His right thumb. It's always weird. It's the bottom thumb. The bottom thumb.
the bottom thumb. The bottom thumb. Bottom thumb.
I hate that. I'mma give you that bottom
I'mma give you that bottom thumb. Give him the grand thumb. Put my
thumb. Give him the grand thumb. Put my bottom thumb in your front butt.
Also, my Marines have the what's that sword called? Oh, [ __ ]
[Laughter] Oh, story time with Uncle Nick. I can't
Oh, story time with Uncle Nick. I can't wait for John to come hang out with you
wait for John to come hang out with you this summer. Oh god, he's going to have
this summer. Oh god, he's going to have so much knowledge. All right, John, I
so much knowledge. All right, John, I know you're going to bed. I need to tell
know you're going to bed. I need to tell you a story first. Hey, John. We're
you a story first. Hey, John. We're going to tell you about the rapier.
going to tell you about the rapier. John's just like, "Rapier than who?"
John's just like, "Rapier than who?" John's gonna come. Obviously, that guy
John's gonna come. Obviously, that guy is literally insane. Just so we're all
is literally insane. Just so we're all clear. What ended up happening. So, he
clear. What ended up happening. So, he wrote her wrote to Benjamin Franklin
wrote her wrote to Benjamin Franklin like, "Yo, about to smash
like, "Yo, about to smash seedank legit." So, he ends up like it's
seedank legit." So, he ends up like it's like [ __ ] 10 years later he ends up
like [ __ ] 10 years later he ends up getting the plate back to her. But, how
getting the plate back to her. But, how did So, that goes on and the whole time
did So, that goes on and the whole time he's like out there literally just
he's like out there literally just kicking ass. Like, the dude's a [ __ ]
kicking ass. Like, the dude's a [ __ ] oneman army with his ship. and he ends
oneman army with his ship. and he ends up getting [ __ ] around cuz the the
up getting [ __ ] around cuz the the British military like to be an officer
British military like to be an officer it wasn't like about ability. It was
it wasn't like about ability. It was like you're from the right family, you
like you're from the right family, you know what I mean? And the Americans
know what I mean? And the Americans started copying the same mentality. So
started copying the same mentality. So buy commissions to be an officer. So
buy commissions to be an officer. So he's he was getting [ __ ] out of every
he's he was getting [ __ ] out of every promotion possible even though he's the
promotion possible even though he's the only one that's actually good at [ __ ]
only one that's actually good at [ __ ] And then after uh after the
And then after uh after the Revolutionary War is over, they're like
Revolutionary War is over, they're like he's still getting [ __ ] out of these
he's still getting [ __ ] out of these promotions and they're um the Russian
promotions and they're um the Russian queen, princess, whatever the [ __ ] you
queen, princess, whatever the [ __ ] you want to call her, Katherine, I think it
want to call her, Katherine, I think it was, she uh Catherine the Great, she has
was, she uh Catherine the Great, she has a war going on with the Ottoman Empire
a war going on with the Ottoman Empire and she's hiring
and she's hiring uh naval officers from anybody that has
uh naval officers from anybody that has experienced Navy. So he ends up
experienced Navy. So he ends up basically getting the okay from Thomas
basically getting the okay from Thomas Jefferson to go over
Jefferson to go over and be a naval officer for Katherine the
and be a naval officer for Katherine the Great fighting the Ottomans. And well he
Great fighting the Ottomans. And well he gets over there and guess what other
gets over there and guess what other country is sending over a bunch of
country is sending over a bunch of officers? The [ __ ] British and the
officers? The [ __ ] British and the British [ __ ] hate him because he look
British [ __ ] hate him because he look killed a lot of them. He made him look
killed a lot of them. He made him look like [ __ ] So, they end up like staging
like [ __ ] So, they end up like staging this whole thing where he allegedly, you
this whole thing where he allegedly, you know, assaulted a 12-year-old girl,
know, assaulted a 12-year-old girl, which almost every historian is like,
which almost every historian is like, "This is completely fabricated just to
"This is completely fabricated just to get him kicked out." So, he ends up
get him kicked out." So, he ends up getting basically ostracized because of
getting basically ostracized because of that. Moves back to Paris, uh, lives
that. Moves back to Paris, uh, lives there the rest of his life, passes away,
there the rest of his life, passes away, and he's like in some unmarked grave
and he's like in some unmarked grave forever. And then, uh, Teddy Roosevelt
forever. And then, uh, Teddy Roosevelt becomes president and gets a hold of the
becomes president and gets a hold of the French, and the French really liked him.
French, and the French really liked him. And the French end up finding his grave
And the French end up finding his grave and they exume him and they bring him
and they exume him and they bring him back to America and now he's got a tomb
back to America and now he's got a tomb at Annapolis.
at Annapolis. The father of the US Navy. [ __ ] yeah.
The father of the US Navy. [ __ ] yeah. And he started off being a [ __ ]
And he started off being a [ __ ] pirate, dude. He's got messing up
pirate, dude. He's got messing up everyone in unconventional warfare.
everyone in unconventional warfare. Privateeering is when he pulled up to
Privateeering is when he pulled up to the USS uh Serapus, they were just
the USS uh Serapus, they were just hammering his ship and they basically
hammering his ship and they basically asked him if he was ready to surrender
asked him if he was ready to surrender and he responded, "I've not yet begun to
and he responded, "I've not yet begun to fight." and then sends the [ __ ]
fight." and then sends the [ __ ] marines in and makes them
marines in and makes them surrender, captures their whole ship.
surrender, captures their whole ship. It's [ __ ] awesome. That's such a wild
It's [ __ ] awesome. That's such a wild time in how war, communication,
time in how war, communication, everything worked cuz you're just going
everything worked cuz you're just going based off of what your boss has said
based off of what your boss has said that they said from a [ __ ] pigeon.
that they said from a [ __ ] pigeon. Yeah. And then you're like, we're
Yeah. And then you're like, we're getting on the thing and we're going to
getting on the thing and we're going to go on that boat, kill everyone, and then
go on that boat, kill everyone, and then take it and then we'll go get drunk
take it and then we'll go get drunk afterwards. We'll go grab a bar. Like,
afterwards. We'll go grab a bar. Like, imagine showing up to Unsub. like,
imagine showing up to Unsub. like, "Okay, we got to rob some silverware."
"Okay, we got to rob some silverware." And Nick's like, "I want to rape some
And Nick's like, "I want to rape some people." I'm like, "Well, hold on."
Yeah. Yeah. Like, Nick, let the guys go. Well, imagine like selling down to
Well, imagine like selling down to Florida and telling all the rednecks
Florida and telling all the rednecks with boats, "Take your guns and take as
with boats, "Take your guns and take as many of their ships as you can." And,
many of their ships as you can." And, you know, they're all like, "Hell yeah."
you know, they're all like, "Hell yeah." That's wild, man. Which is funny cuz
That's wild, man. Which is funny cuz like that that's what drives me [ __ ]
like that that's what drives me [ __ ] crazy when you have people like uh like
crazy when you have people like uh like Biden and [ __ ] like that like listen
Biden and [ __ ] like that like listen Jack the kids touch my arm hair or my
Jack the kids touch my arm hair or my leg hair in the pool like that [ __ ]
leg hair in the pool like that [ __ ] He's like the the the you've never you
He's like the the the you've never you you can't own a cannon. Like you have in
you can't own a cannon. Like you have in no point in American history have you
no point in American history have you ever not been able to own a cannon for
ever not been able to own a cannon for one? That's just absolutely a
one? That's just absolutely a fabrication. You've always been I own a
fabrication. You've always been I own a cannon.
cannon. There are less regulations on buying a
There are less regulations on buying a cannon than a Glock.
cannon than a Glock. You can just Can you just build a
You can just Can you just build a cannon? You can buy one. You can buy one
cannon? You can buy one. You can buy one over like if you can afford a cannon.
over like if you can afford a cannon. You You can buy a cannon. Taliho, lads.
You You can buy a cannon. Taliho, lads. Just over counter. We doing there is no
Just over counter. We doing there is no background check. Nothing cuz it's a
background check. Nothing cuz it's a black powder. It's non fire. It's like
black powder. It's non fire. It's like that green text. Yeah. Yeah. Taliho.
that green text. Yeah. Yeah. Taliho. Taliho, lads. But on top of that, there
Taliho, lads. But on top of that, there are serious there are periods in
are serious there are periods in American history where the American
American history where the American government at the time just says, "Fuck,
government at the time just says, "Fuck, we don't have enough guns." Hey, if any
we don't have enough guns." Hey, if any of you citizens have a a ship that has
of you citizens have a a ship that has cannons on it, we could really use it
cannons on it, we could really use it about now. If you want to go [ __ ]
about now. If you want to go [ __ ] kill some people, it's legal now. You
kill some people, it's legal now. You can do these things. As long as they've
can do these things. As long as they've got that flag, you can go [ __ ] them up.
got that flag, you can go [ __ ] them up. The the funny part is like just the
The the funny part is like just the British perspective of what that had to
British perspective of what that had to be like that the colonies were launching
be like that the colonies were launching raids on mainland England. I mean it
raids on mainland England. I mean it literally be the equivalent of like if
literally be the equivalent of like if in 2012 the Taliban rolled up to
in 2012 the Taliban rolled up to Manhattan with a battleship. What the is
Manhattan with a battleship. What the is happening right now? The Uno reverse
happening right now? The Uno reverse card. Where's our Navy?
card. Where's our Navy? It would be [ __ ] wild. You're out
It would be [ __ ] wild. You're out there. You're like what the [ __ ] is
there. You're like what the [ __ ] is going on right now?
going on right now? That'd be a perfect place to raid cuz
That'd be a perfect place to raid cuz they don't have guns. Hey, you just
they don't have guns. Hey, you just shown up. You would have Harlem fighting
shown up. You would have Harlem fighting back with their illegal [ __ ] guns.
back with their illegal [ __ ] guns. I've had this skit. No one wants to
I've had this skit. No one wants to occupy Harlem. I've had a skit in my
occupy Harlem. I've had a skit in my head forever. Ever since I watched the
head forever. Ever since I watched the remake of Red Dawn. Yeah. And I was
remake of Red Dawn. Yeah. And I was like, if you we could make like a hot
like, if you we could make like a hot shot like a Charlie Sheen's hot shot
shot like a Charlie Sheen's hot shot like scary movie parody of Red Dawn.
like scary movie parody of Red Dawn. would be so [ __ ] funny to have like
would be so [ __ ] funny to have like the Chinese invade mainland America and
the Chinese invade mainland America and just like I just want the scene where
just like I just want the scene where they're recording the Chinese talking
they're recording the Chinese talking and the Chinese are like, "Okay, sir. Uh
and the Chinese are like, "Okay, sir. Uh that last section of the country is
that last section of the country is pretty rough, but the section we're
pretty rough, but the section we're coming up on now has very strict gun
coming up on now has very strict gun laws. Nobody's allowed to own guns. We
laws. Nobody's allowed to own guns. We think it should be a really easy to take
think it should be a really easy to take over this city." Okay, what's the city?
Sh. It just didn't just hard cut to them getting lit up by drivebys from Impalas
getting lit up by drivebys from Impalas and [ __ ] like
and [ __ ] like Chako
Chako Shyrack. I just want to see the part of
Shyrack. I just want to see the part of that movie that's just our crewing up a
that movie that's just our crewing up a bunch of uh Chinese special forces in uh
bunch of uh Chinese special forces in uh [ __ ] just gorilla combat and it's
[ __ ] just gorilla combat and it's just us
just us like I swear to God I've killed that guy
like I swear to God I've killed that guy like three times today. The government
like three times today. The government doesn't want you to know this but you
doesn't want you to know this but you can just take their nods after you kill
can just take their nods after you kill them. Was it Chinese in the new Red
them. Was it Chinese in the new Red Dawn? Yeah. Well, so it was supposed to
Dawn? Yeah. Well, so it was supposed to be Chinese and then uh all of the the
be Chinese and then uh all of the the financeers for the movie uh made them
financeers for the movie uh made them airbrush out all the Chinese flags and
airbrush out all the Chinese flags and turn it into North Korea cuz China was
turn it into North Korea cuz China was financing part of it which also North
financing part of it which also North Korea having the
Korea having the They don't even have the ability to feed
They don't even have the ability to feed their people. Yeah. Flying here is a big
their people. Yeah. Flying here is a big Oh, no. We have a friend here. We have a
Oh, no. We have a friend here. We have a Quinn. Hello Quinn. Hello. You're going
Quinn. Hello Quinn. Hello. You're going to be on later, beautiful. Okay. Do you
to be on later, beautiful. Okay. Do you want to come say hey real quick? Oh my
want to come say hey real quick? Oh my gosh. Go wave. Go wave. Look at this
gosh. Go wave. Go wave. Look at this here. Right here.
here. Right here. There. Right in the middle. Hi everyone.
There. Right in the middle. Hi everyone. Hello. Hello. For the future of what's
Hello. Hello. For the future of what's going to come or depending on how these
going to come or depending on how these come. Ethan's going to come. Yep. That's
100. Don't come. Don't come. I'm going to come. I'm going to come.
to come. I'm going to come. Chick go.
Chick go. Beautiful. I'm excited for it. We're
Beautiful. I'm excited for it. We're just talking about if you drop Chinese
just talking about if you drop Chinese paratroopers into like the Appalachian
paratroopers into like the Appalachian Mountains or, you know, Texas or
Mountains or, you know, Texas or somewhere like that, how well it would
somewhere like that, how well it would go. Who would win? A company of Chinese
go. Who would win? A company of Chinese paratroopers or a high school trap
paratroopers or a high school trap shooting team.
shooting team. Just have to convince the South not to
Just have to convince the South not to eat them.
eat them. Dude, I said that in a bit. I was like,
Dude, I said that in a bit. I was like, somebody invades mainland America, the
somebody invades mainland America, the biggest issue is going to be convincing
biggest issue is going to be convincing rednecks not to have them taxiderermy.
rednecks not to have them taxiderermy. The biggest ethical issue involved. The
The biggest ethical issue involved. The taxiderermist can't seem to get the eyes
taxiderermist can't seem to get the eyes right. My my favorite meat is like the
right. My my favorite meat is like the 120lb Chinese paratrooper versus 250lb
120lb Chinese paratrooper versus 250lb cornfed baba in the mountains. I love
cornfed baba in the mountains. I love the one where Hey, wait. I've seen this
the one where Hey, wait. I've seen this one. Somebody somebody had a video of
one. Somebody somebody had a video of 306 and they're like, just so we're
306 and they're like, just so we're clear, the average Japanese soldier
clear, the average Japanese soldier weighed 116 lbs and you [ __ ] were
weighed 116 lbs and you [ __ ] were running around in the jungle with a gun
running around in the jungle with a gun rated for elk shooting these guys.
Yep. I never thought about the taxiderermy
I never thought about the taxiderermy thing and how realistic of the situation
thing and how realistic of the situation that would become if someone invaded.
that would become if someone invaded. Well, I know we would do fighting like
Well, I know we would do fighting like it would be like fighting in the Pacific
it would be like fighting in the Pacific Islands where they're taking [ __ ]
Islands where they're taking [ __ ] skulls. I was just going to do that and
skulls. I was just going to do that and like teeth on necklaces and stuff. We
like teeth on necklaces and stuff. We brought that up when I talked about the
brought that up when I talked about the 77th. Do you know how many [ __ ]
77th. Do you know how many [ __ ] emails I got from people that are like,
emails I got from people that are like, "Hey,
"Hey, um, my family has one of those skulls.
um, my family has one of those skulls. What are we supposed to do with it?" Oh,
What are we supposed to do with it?" Oh, can I buy one? [ __ ] not tell anybody.
can I buy one? [ __ ] not tell anybody. I don't know. It is. Is Is there a law
I don't know. It is. Is Is there a law against that? Human remains. There's a
against that? Human remains. There's a weird law with Cuz I You can't take new
weird law with Cuz I You can't take new human remains if I remember correctly.
human remains if I remember correctly. But if it's a like historical piece, I
But if it's a like historical piece, I don't know.
don't know. There's some Yeah, there's some gray
There's some Yeah, there's some gray literally there. Your grandfather
literally there. Your grandfather brought it in. So, please forward those
brought it in. So, please forward those emails to me. I kind of want one. I
emails to me. I kind of want one. I would love to have
would love to have an unsub skull up there real quick.
an unsub skull up there real quick. Also, we have to like put it in a No,
Also, we have to like put it in a No, like the the the painted like Japanese
like the the the painted like Japanese skulls that like war trophy [ __ ] We'd
skulls that like war trophy [ __ ] We'd have to put that in like a case. Yeah. I
have to put that in like a case. Yeah. I also got an email that somebody got
also got an email that somebody got kicked out of a store in Japan for
kicked out of a store in Japan for wearing my it's never a war crime the
wearing my it's never a war crime the first time shirt. And I was like, "Oh,
first time shirt. And I was like, "Oh, yeah. I can see how that would be
yeah. I can see how that would be confusing. We're in Japan." Well, it
confusing. We're in Japan." Well, it wasn't a war crime the second time
wasn't a war crime the second time either. The logo of Batman on it. Jesus,
either. The logo of Batman on it. Jesus, dude. And uh we've been talking about
dude. And uh we've been talking about going to Japan for a while now, but Eli,
going to Japan for a while now, but Eli, you said tattoos are going to be a
you said tattoos are going to be a problem for us over there. Yeah. Well,
problem for us over there. Yeah. Well, Dude, it will be super interesting with
Dude, it will be super interesting with this group when we go to Japan because
this group when we go to Japan because it is like the tram system or the subway
it is like the tram system or the subway system. You take that everywhere and
system. You take that everywhere and then everyone's super quiet. So, it's
then everyone's super quiet. So, it's like being respectful of the cultures,
like being respectful of the cultures, not eating and walking. So, you're it'll
not eating and walking. So, you're it'll be this weird in between between us and
be this weird in between between us and then $90 or $20 for 90 minutes all you
then $90 or $20 for 90 minutes all you can drink. So, I'm like, "Oh." And the
can drink. So, I'm like, "Oh." And the guys get super [ __ ] wrecked. And then
guys get super [ __ ] wrecked. And then we're going to try to keep rules in
we're going to try to keep rules in place. You know, we would be respectful
place. You know, we would be respectful to their culture. I have I have a hookup
to their culture. I have I have a hookup so we can go eat with sumo wrestlers
so we can go eat with sumo wrestlers like which like nobody gets to do by the
like which like nobody gets to do by the way. Did you see the Shane Gillis thing
way. Did you see the Shane Gillis thing with that the other day? Uh-uh. Shane
with that the other day? Uh-uh. Shane Gillis was the like guest referee or
Gillis was the like guest referee or announcer thing for an actual like sumo
announcer thing for an actual like sumo match and it was the funniest [ __ ] He
match and it was the funniest [ __ ] He has probably no idea and he's just
has probably no idea and he's just calling it out. No. And he he Well, no.
calling it out. No. And he he Well, no. He like was as like, "Hey, how do I say
He like was as like, "Hey, how do I say this?" Oh, uh yeah, I don't know how to
this?" Oh, uh yeah, I don't know how to say that. Like just like trying like
say that. Like just like trying like trying his best. Have you seen like
trying his best. Have you seen like they're like, "Shane, how does it smell
they're like, "Shane, how does it smell down there?" He's like, "Don't do that.
down there?" He's like, "Don't do that. Don't disrespect these athletes."
Have you seen the video? It's like it's not even a I mean it's a big dude
not even a I mean it's a big dude obviously, but it's not like you think
obviously, but it's not like you think Suma wrestler, you're thinking like 400
Suma wrestler, you're thinking like 400 plus pound dude. It's It was like dude
plus pound dude. It's It was like dude was probably like 260 300. He's a big
was probably like 260 300. He's a big boy, but he uh they had like the best D
boy, but he uh they had like the best D end or DT tackle in the NFL. One of
end or DT tackle in the NFL. One of them. Oh yeah. in the suit and he like
them. Oh yeah. in the suit and he like full on like three foot gap football
full on like three foot gap football stance comes up full like foot fire
stance comes up full like foot fire trying to move this dude and this dude
trying to move this dude and this dude is just planted in the ground holding
is just planted in the ground holding him laughing while this dude is just
him laughing while this dude is just giving everything he can to try to move
giving everything he can to try to move this dude doesn't move a [ __ ] inch.
this dude doesn't move a [ __ ] inch. Oh, those dudes are monsters, man. It's
Oh, those dudes are monsters, man. It's crazy. I Their thighs are [ __ ] that
crazy. I Their thighs are [ __ ] that bigger. I would love to go watch one of
bigger. I would love to go watch one of those. Calvin went he was he just got
those. Calvin went he was he just got back from Japan. Calvin, my uh the dude
back from Japan. Calvin, my uh the dude that works for me, the other coach at my
that works for me, the other coach at my jiu-jitsu gym. And we have a student
jiu-jitsu gym. And we have a student that grew up in Japan and his uncle was
that grew up in Japan and his uncle was a teacher forever. And I guess his
a teacher forever. And I guess his uncle's student grew up to be the head
uncle's student grew up to be the head monk of one of the temple for like one
monk of one of the temple for like one of the biggest sumo teams cuz all the
of the biggest sumo teams cuz all the sumo they have monks. All Buddhist
sumo they have monks. All Buddhist Buddhist monks. So all the all those
Buddhist monks. So all the all those that's where that all the sumo wrestlers
that's where that all the sumo wrestlers I didn't know those things were big boat
I didn't know those things were big boat little boat you'll still have monks
little boat you'll still have monks Buddhist monks. So you're that's where
Buddhist monks. So you're that's where you get the orange garbage Chinese
you get the orange garbage Chinese culture. I think Japan is uh little boat
culture. I think Japan is uh little boat ideology of Buddhism. Um so they just
ideology of Buddhism. Um so they just have different mindsets on how Buddhism
have different mindsets on how Buddhism work or or I thought J Japan was more
work or or I thought J Japan was more like Tauist they have a mixture. So any
like Tauist they have a mixture. So any of the uh you have talism uh or is it
of the uh you have talism uh or is it taoism something else they might be now
taoism something else they might be now uh back in the day it was Buddha
uh back in the day it was Buddha Buddhism Christianity started taking in
Buddhism Christianity started taking in I've got a very high view of this I
I've got a very high view of this I don't really like know the details of
don't really like know the details of the culture and then they ripped out
the culture and then they ripped out Christianity I think um noaga I forget
Christianity I think um noaga I forget which dude ran in he's like no get rid
which dude ran in he's like no get rid of this we'll just go Buddhism and then
of this we'll just go Buddhism and then the other one
the other one is [ __ ] no I need anyways basically all
is [ __ ] no I need anyways basically all the sumo wrestlers like they're not like
the sumo wrestlers like they're not like professional athletes that make a bunch
professional athletes that make a bunch of money. They're literally like they go
of money. They're literally like they go to a a Buddhist temple. I guess this is
to a a Buddhist temple. I guess this is what he told me. I haven't checked this,
what he told me. I haven't checked this, but like his understanding was basically
but like his understanding was basically they show up to a Buddhist temple like I
they show up to a Buddhist temple like I want to be a sumo wrestler. And the
want to be a sumo wrestler. And the Buddhist temple takes him in and they
Buddhist temple takes him in and they don't get paid. They don't get anything.
don't get paid. They don't get anything. They just get to eat and sleep and train
They just get to eat and sleep and train for free and they just do that their
for free and they just do that their whole [ __ ] lives. So, he got to go
whole [ __ ] lives. So, he got to go stay in this Buddhist temple with the
stay in this Buddhist temple with the the sumo team. And he's like, Calvin is
the sumo team. And he's like, Calvin is like 155 pounds. Like, he's not a big
like 155 pounds. Like, he's not a big dude. And he's like, "They were like
dude. And he's like, "They were like scared of
scared of me. They live in a Buddhist temple. They
me. They live in a Buddhist temple. They ever seen a white guy covered in
ever seen a white guy covered in tattoos?" Like, and so they're just like
tattoos?" Like, and so they're just like on edge around him the whole time. And
on edge around him the whole time. And he's like, "Dude, you're three times my
he's like, "Dude, you're three times my size. You could just spike me off the
size. You could just spike me off the ground and I'd be dead." But he said it
ground and I'd be dead." But he said it was super spike you into the end zone.
was super spike you into the end zone. He said they were all like super nice.
He said they were all like super nice. He said Shintoism. Shintoism. Yeah,
He said Shintoism. Shintoism. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, that's I was like,
that's okay. Yeah, that's I was like, "What is it?" There is another one.
"What is it?" There is another one. Shinto. Shinto belief. Dude, they Have
Shinto. Shinto belief. Dude, they Have you watched that one? Um I don't know
you watched that one? Um I don't know where he's from. He's a white uh white
where he's from. He's a white uh white dude that is Tom Cruz Last Samurai. Yes,
dude that is Tom Cruz Last Samurai. Yes, exactly.
exactly. But he's a I'm going to watch that when
But he's a I'm going to watch that when I get home. Smaller compared to other
I get home. Smaller compared to other sumo wrestlers, but he is almost guy.
sumo wrestlers, but he is almost guy. Yeah, that's almost a yuk yuk uh
Yeah, that's almost a yuk yuk uh yokazuna level. Or he is, but this dude
yokazuna level. Or he is, but this dude against like 300 400 lb guys. You seen
against like 300 400 lb guys. You seen him chuck them like it's nothing. This
him chuck them like it's nothing. This dude's uh 220. He's a small sumo
dude's uh 220. He's a small sumo wrestler. Terrifying. He hucks these 400
wrestler. Terrifying. He hucks these 400 pound guy or he's like check. I think
pound guy or he's like check. I think he's crazy good. If you pull dude just
he's crazy good. If you pull dude just wait till the Russian Muslims get into
wait till the Russian Muslims get into that sport. Yeah, right. Dagistan. Bunch
that sport. Yeah, right. Dagistan. Bunch of [ __ ] Chetchins get involved. Was
of [ __ ] Chetchins get involved. Was it Nick? Three years he forgets. Yeah.
it Nick? Three years he forgets. Yeah. Two or three years. Forget three years
Two or three years. Forget three years to Dagistan. Forget forget. We just
to Dagistan. Forget forget. We just fight now. This is what we do. Cody,
fight now. This is what we do. Cody, what do you got in the works on your
what do you got in the works on your stuff? Oh god. Has anyone been shot
stuff? Oh god. Has anyone been shot lately?
lately? Yes. No. Dude, all I want to do is build
Yes. No. Dude, all I want to do is build businesses with Unsub and you guys and
businesses with Unsub and you guys and hang out with y'all. You're like, I'm
hang out with y'all. You're like, I'm over video. Yeah. Well, I mean, someone
over video. Yeah. Well, I mean, someone gets shot, I do the video. I want to do
gets shot, I do the video. I want to do other things. I want to hang out with my
other things. I want to hang out with my boys. I'm getting old, man. I've been
boys. I'm getting old, man. I've been doing this YouTube channel for 10 years
doing this YouTube channel for 10 years now. Don't you [ __ ] demo on me. I'm
now. Don't you [ __ ] demo on me. I'm not demoing on you, dude. I I wish I had
not demoing on you, dude. I I wish I had a resort property to sell, but you know,
a resort property to sell, but you know, I don't.
I don't. Cody's like, I don't have a resort. Oh,
Cody's like, I don't have a resort. Oh, Brandon wakes up with pink eye cuz that
Brandon wakes up with pink eye cuz that was in a hooker's butt.
was in a hooker's butt. Don't tell me about what we did last
Don't tell me about what we did last night.
night. Why? Why you got to cast that evil on
Why? Why you got to cast that evil on me? You're probably right at some point.
me? You're probably right at some point. Chris, their wedding tomorrow just like,
Chris, their wedding tomorrow just like, "Oh god, now you got me [ __ ]
"Oh god, now you got me [ __ ] overthinking about it cuz apparently
overthinking about it cuz apparently American money is like super dirty."
American money is like super dirty." Well, I'm not just American money. I'm
Well, I'm not just American money. I'm sure it's every money. Yeah, we've been
sure it's every money. Yeah, we've been to Vegas before, buddy. We know how
to Vegas before, buddy. We know how dirty it is. I don't want to think about
dirty it is. I don't want to think about it. I don't know. I think we're all just
it. I don't know. I think we're all just doing our own thing and then trying to
doing our own thing and then trying to build businesses together and having a
build businesses together and having a good time. We got a lot of good podcast
good time. We got a lot of good podcast started lately. What What What are you
started lately. What What What are you working on, Mr. Bea? Mr. Bea's got a
working on, Mr. Bea? Mr. Bea's got a thing. We got Oh, yeah, we do. Well, I
thing. We got Oh, yeah, we do. Well, I like this month's focus for us is the
like this month's focus for us is the autism awareness and we have that thing.
autism awareness and we have that thing. I know, but that's the one I like. I
I know, but that's the one I like. I hate my own. God, could you stop talking
hate my own. God, could you stop talking about autistic people? I have a horrible
about autistic people? I have a horrible We do have a great thing going on this
We do have a great thing going on this month. Yes, this is all and we're doing
month. Yes, this is all and we're doing we're adding a special needs a nonprofit
we're adding a special needs a nonprofit once we find one. Just shopping for
once we find one. Just shopping for which ones actually do the right thing
which ones actually do the right thing and not just blow everything on. Yeah.
and not just blow everything on. Yeah. administrative fees and marketing and
administrative fees and marketing and all the people like we want to make sure
all the people like we want to make sure that like I I I know at least speaking
that like I I I know at least speaking from my perspective like we we try to
from my perspective like we we try to run this like a business and make sure
run this like a business and make sure that like we're we're spending this
that like we're we're spending this money as if it's our money where we want
money as if it's our money where we want to make sure that it's the money you
to make sure that it's the money you spend on the shirts actually goes to a
spend on the shirts actually goes to a good cause. Not just saying it does, but
good cause. Not just saying it does, but a place that like the money actually
a place that like the money actually goes toward what they say it does cuz
goes toward what they say it does cuz most charities are full of [ __ ] It's
most charities are full of [ __ ] It's terrifying. Yeah, dude. when you look at
terrifying. Yeah, dude. when you look at at the word nonprofit like and you're
at the word nonprofit like and you're like, "Oh, they're nice." It's like,
like, "Oh, they're nice." It's like, "Oh, okay. Nonprofit." The NFL is a
"Oh, okay. Nonprofit." The NFL is a nonprofit, just so we're clear. Yeah.
nonprofit, just so we're clear. Yeah. Just Just throwing that out there. The
Just Just throwing that out there. The entity doesn't make a profit, but
entity doesn't make a profit, but everyone on the [ __ ] board of
everyone on the [ __ ] board of director million plus dollars a year.
director million plus dollars a year. Yeah. All on donated money. So, if you
Yeah. All on donated money. So, if you guys do like help us out, like buy
guys do like help us out, like buy shirts, help with the autism community,
shirts, help with the autism community, we're we shop around and we find the
we're we shop around and we find the best charities to put that forward to.
best charities to put that forward to. We're going to we're going to raise so
We're going to we're going to raise so much money that we're going to find out
much money that we're going to find out everything about autism that we could
everything about autism that we could find out and then nobody's going to like
find out and then nobody's going to like us anymore. Rich, could you come tell us
us anymore. Rich, could you come tell us what you think about autism real quick?
what you think about autism real quick? Oh, look, a new person.
Rich uses kill minorities. Just like this podcast, another hairy white guy in
this podcast, another hairy white guy in a tank top walk into the club. I want to
a tank top walk into the club. I want to show you that you're not the only one
show you that you're not the only one that can pull this off. I have it
that can pull this off. I have it outside. Um, autism is my favorite type
outside. Um, autism is my favorite type of [ __ ]
of [ __ ] because Eli has been able What? Oh,
because Eli has been able What? Oh, they're supposed to be my least
they're supposed to be my least favorite. You guys aren't fair.
Also, how does that little make the action figures work show? Did you just
action figures work show? Did you just type in What do you ask it? If you say a
type in What do you ask it? If you say a specific person or do you have to
specific person or do you have to describe the person? Yeah, you have to
describe the person? Yeah, you have to describe. Okay, got it. Because I like
describe. Okay, got it. Because I like for me it was like man that's actually
for me it was like man that's actually alarmingly close. It just whitewashed
alarmingly close. It just whitewashed me. I know. Did you put I just looked
me. I know. Did you put I just looked like a white guy named Daniel. What's he
like a white guy named Daniel. What's he dressed like? Like
dressed like? Like Cody. Like what is he dressed like? Like
Cody. Like what is he dressed like? Like like Brandon. All right, Jamie. Pull
like Brandon. All right, Jamie. Pull that up right now. Show me the thing.
that up right now. Show me the thing. Those I was actually cracking up. Yours
Those I was actually cracking up. Yours is great. Mine funny. You're a [ __ ]
is great. Mine funny. You're a [ __ ] gorilla. You're You look like a
gorilla. You're You look like a Minecraft character. It's a refrigerator
Minecraft character. It's a refrigerator with arms. Corn and then corn. corn,
with arms. Corn and then corn. corn, bush light, bush light, a rubber duck. I
bush light, bush light, a rubber duck. I was like, "Oh, this is great." And I
was like, "Oh, this is great." And I hate communism super big. That last uh
hate communism super big. That last uh that one of the last podcasts that went
that one of the last podcasts that went up, they're like, "Damn, Cody's
up, they're like, "Damn, Cody's hammered." You can tell cuz he's talking
hammered." You can tell cuz he's talking on his own podcast.
on his own podcast. It's the cocaine.
No, you could. I I would be terrified to see you on cocaine, actually. Yeah,
see you on cocaine, actually. Yeah, that's the one drug I've never done
that's the one drug I've never done before. I think there's multiple
before. I think there's multiple you probably multiple. There's there's
you probably multiple. There's there's lots of drugs I'm sure you've never
lots of drugs I'm sure you've never done. Crocodile. Crocodile. Yeah, dude.
done. Crocodile. Crocodile. Yeah, dude. I want my skin to rot in my body.
I want my skin to rot in my body. That's some [ __ ] only the Russians could
That's some [ __ ] only the Russians could have come up with. Crocodile [ __ ] What
have come up with. Crocodile [ __ ] What if we made a liquid version of the
if we made a liquid version of the goolog that you could just inject into
goolog that you could just inject into your veins?
your veins? Make with red match head. Are you What
Make with red match head. Are you What was the [ __ ] Russian dude with the
was the [ __ ] Russian dude with the big arms? He was injecting what into his
big arms? He was injecting what into his arms. It's just oil, not oil. It's some
arms. It's just oil, not oil. It's some kind. It's just some oil that inside the
kind. It's just some oil that inside the muscle fascia and he became like a quasi
muscle fascia and he became like a quasi celebrity over there because his arms
celebrity over there because his arms were so big. But synthol. Yes. Cuz he
were so big. But synthol. Yes. Cuz he was injecting nasty [ __ ] into him. That
was injecting nasty [ __ ] into him. That Well, that's another one. Oh, there's
Well, that's another one. Oh, there's the kid you're talking about. Yeah, that
the kid you're talking about. Yeah, that kid. And dude, you look [ __ ] He looks
kid. And dude, you look [ __ ] He looks like the dude from Umbrella Academy.
like the dude from Umbrella Academy. Yep. The giant the big [ __ ] arms. Did
Yep. The giant the big [ __ ] arms. Did you see his uh MMA fight? He did an MMA
you see his uh MMA fight? He did an MMA fight. Oh yeah. Let me guess. How'd that
fight. Oh yeah. Let me guess. How'd that go, Eli? He can't fight.
go, Eli? He can't fight. Weird. Since I'm not working out doesn't
Weird. Since I'm not working out doesn't equate to fighting, period. He got his
equate to fighting, period. He got his [ __ ] ass beat. Any of those dudes
[ __ ] ass beat. Any of those dudes just going to get Dude, if I was his
just going to get Dude, if I was his opponent, I would just punch him in his
opponent, I would just punch him in his arms.
arms. Pop his bicep. Goes into toxic shock.
Pop his bicep. Goes into toxic shock. I just like that's what they're like.
I just like that's what they're like. They go like that and they're like, I
They go like that and they're like, I think that's good. Oh yeah, there's the
think that's good. Oh yeah, there's the Indian guy, too. That looks like a chat
Indian guy, too. That looks like a chat GPT thing of someone who like a computer
GPT thing of someone who like a computer that doesn't understand what a person
that doesn't understand what a person looks like. Yeah. When I grow up, I want
looks like. Yeah. When I grow up, I want to be a cloud mom.
to be a cloud mom. Gross. I don't I don't want to put in
Gross. I don't I don't want to put in the work, but I want to look a certain
the work, but I want to look a certain way. That's [ __ ] wild. That was a
way. That's [ __ ] wild. That was a bizarre catch. I'm sure he gets all the
bizarre catch. I'm sure he gets all the [ __ ]
[ __ ] Yeah, I'm sure he's slaying it. Then we
Yeah, I'm sure he's slaying it. Then we have What else is in the Oh, we got
have What else is in the Oh, we got Let's say hi to Eli. Got that finally
Let's say hi to Eli. Got that finally launched. And y'all beautiful souls. I
launched. And y'all beautiful souls. I still have to do your interview. And
still have to do your interview. And yours is after Cody's. Cody Cody's is
yours is after Cody's. Cody Cody's is yours was [ __ ] great, too. I love You
yours was [ __ ] great, too. I love You almost made me cry on yours.
almost made me cry on yours. What did he say? What did he say? Give
What did he say? What did he say? Give me a second. No. Is that Please hold.
me a second. No. Is that Please hold. Yep. Cuz I never see Nick show emotion
Yep. Cuz I never see Nick show emotion ever. And so that I was like, "Oh, damn.
ever. And so that I was like, "Oh, damn. That actually that means a lot coming
That actually that means a lot coming from Nick." The coronating gorilla
from Nick." The coronating gorilla showed emotion.
showed emotion. No, it's a lie. Never happened. I say
No, it's a lie. Never happened. I say that as I throw my son to you for
that as I throw my son to you for several weeks this summer. Fine. He's
several weeks this summer. Fine. He's going to do great. John, you know what
going to do great. John, you know what your dad said to me?
your dad said to me? Just slap him right. I'm going to show
Just slap him right. I'm going to show him my drop down and draw your gun
him my drop down and draw your gun technique so he can use it on Rich when
technique so he can use it on Rich when Rich attacks him with a knife.
Rich attacks him with a knife. Lay on your
back. They probably have no idea what we're talking about on that one. I have
we're talking about on that one. I have no clue.
no clue. He's a cop. Look as white as possible.
What the [ __ ] are you guys talking about? Knife go. Uh me and Pew View did
about? Knife go. Uh me and Pew View did a video about the 21 foot rule with the
a video about the 21 foot rule with the knife. And I was like, I bet I could I
knife. And I was like, I bet I could I bet I could get shots off in 10 feet.
bet I could get shots off in 10 feet. And I did. And what I did is, okay, go.
And I did. And what I did is, okay, go. I just immediately dropped to my back.
I just immediately dropped to my back. And once I was on my back, I had my feet
And once I was on my back, I had my feet in between me and the guy with a knife.
in between me and the guy with a knife. I drew my gun and shot off my back like
I drew my gun and shot off my back like [ __ ] 10 rounds and just mag dumped
[ __ ] 10 rounds and just mag dumped the guy. And some people on the internet
the guy. And some people on the internet think it would work and some people
think it would work and some people think that I'm an idiot.
think that I'm an idiot. So, what? Rich doesn't think it would
So, what? Rich doesn't think it would work. Rich doesn't think it would work.
work. Rich doesn't think it would work. He said I should run away in a zigzag
He said I should run away in a zigzag formation yelling serpentine while I try
formation yelling serpentine while I try to draw my gun as he's holding bad
to draw my gun as he's holding bad [ __ ]
That was the best argument. I will say I agreed. And I was like the the one
agreed. And I was like the the one comment that annoyed me on that short
comment that annoyed me on that short cuz the short went like not super viral
cuz the short went like not super viral but the short got thousands of comments
but the short got thousands of comments where we were talking about it and
where we were talking about it and somebody was like wow I can't believe
somebody was like wow I can't believe the fat electrician is trying to argue
the fat electrician is trying to argue combives with rich a trained cop that
combives with rich a trained cop that probably has way more experience than
probably has way more experience than him and I was like
him and I was like rich maybe but like I don't think that
rich maybe but like I don't think that most people have a grasp on how little
most people have a grasp on how little combives training the average law
combives training the average law enforcement officer gets like female
enforcement officer gets like female cops
cops just period. Like it's
it's like ah what do I call her? It starts with a B. Uh well, trash. What?
starts with a B. Uh well, trash. What? You were just waiting to say that.
The uh how much combatives training do uh does the average cop do? Cody, did
uh does the average cop do? Cody, did did you see the It's trash, dude. It's
did you see the It's trash, dude. It's so bad. Shrimp. Did you see the uh the
so bad. Shrimp. Did you see the uh the video that just came out recently of the
video that just came out recently of the three British women cops trying to
three British women cops trying to arrest a man and he's just like no. He
arrest a man and he's just like no. He just said no. Literally just basically
just said no. Literally just basically just said no. Let me stay calm the whole
just said no. Let me stay calm the whole time. He's just standing up and they
time. He's just standing up and they can't do anything. They're like trying
can't do anything. They're like trying to pull him to the ground and he's it
to pull him to the ground and he's it literally looked like my 2-year-old, my
literally looked like my 2-year-old, my four-year-old like hanging on my
four-year-old like hanging on my legs. That's what it looked like. It was
legs. That's what it looked like. It was not good.
not good. It wasn't good at all. Some of those
It wasn't good at all. Some of those videos from like the UK like blow my
videos from like the UK like blow my [ __ ] mind where people are getting
[ __ ] mind where people are getting arrested for social media posts and
arrested for social media posts and [ __ ] Well, those too, but like I just
[ __ ] Well, those too, but like I just the the a it's like a little bit of
the the a it's like a little bit of normaly bias, but b just like the people
normaly bias, but b just like the people who are incapable of performing violence
who are incapable of performing violence of any kind. There was a video I was
of any kind. There was a video I was watching of somebody getting like
watching of somebody getting like stabbed like it was an older lady I
stabbed like it was an older lady I think getting being getting stabbed on
think getting being getting stabbed on the ground. There's a guy on top of her
the ground. There's a guy on top of her just stabbing the out of her and there's
just stabbing the out of her and there's like eight dudes around her
like eight dudes around her like oh. And one dude eventually picks
like oh. And one dude eventually picks up like this light tin trash can and
up like this light tin trash can and like throws it at the guy. Does
like throws it at the guy. Does absolutely nothing. And he's just
absolutely nothing. And he's just sitting there like going to town. And
sitting there like going to town. And none of these quote unquote men do can
none of these quote unquote men do can do jack [ __ ] about it. Jesus.
do jack [ __ ] about it. Jesus. You got a license for that knife? I I
You got a license for that knife? I I don't think he's got a license. You got
don't think he's got a license. You got a stabbing license? Like they have to
a stabbing license? Like they have to call the cops with guns, too, in that
call the cops with guns, too, in that situation. Yeah, because the majority
situation. Yeah, because the majority don't carry guns. Can't.
don't carry guns. Can't. Wait, the police can't. Unless you're
Wait, the police can't. Unless you're like Yeah, the cops. There are certified
like Yeah, the cops. There are certified officers with firearms. The cops don't.
officers with firearms. The cops don't. Yeah, you have to call the cops with
Yeah, you have to call the cops with guns to come help you in situations.
guns to come help you in situations. Joe, what would you say? A cop with a
Joe, what would you say? A cop with a gun is like SWAT to them. In and
gun is like SWAT to them. In and straight up in Ireland, how would you
straight up in Ireland, how would you say that? What would you say the ratio
say that? What would you say the ratio is of cops who carry guns versus cops
is of cops who carry guns versus cops who don't?
who don't? I mean, the only cops who carry guns are
I mean, the only cops who carry guns are like special
like special task force type thing. You got to call
task force type thing. You got to call them in. It's just like it's like in the
them in. It's just like it's like in the US if you call a SWAT team in like
US if you call a SWAT team in like Brandon was saying, you got to call the
Brandon was saying, you got to call the cops with guns in. I wish that happened
cops with guns in. I wish that happened in America just to see how bad it would
in America just to see how bad it would get. You're showing up with no guns.
get. You're showing up with no guns. Like, [ __ ] dude. It's like, oh, this is
Like, [ __ ] dude. It's like, oh, this is why they carry firearms. Got it. How did
why they carry firearms. Got it. How did a third of the planet get conquered by
a third of the planet get conquered by those [ __ ] people?
Well, that was back before most of the planet had access to gunpowder
took over. Turns out us took over a third of the planet to get
took over a third of the planet to get spices. Didn't put any of them on your
spices. Didn't put any of them on your food. What the [ __ ] is going on?
food. What the [ __ ] is going on? Turns out that starving yourself in
Turns out that starving yourself in protest doesn't stop a musket.
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a lot of people over there, even
think a lot of people over there, even if they have knives, like a chef has a
if they have knives, like a chef has a chef blade, an 8 in blade, you got to
chef blade, an 8 in blade, you got to like register it and go through a whole
like register it and go through a whole process just to have [ __ ] like that. I
process just to have [ __ ] like that. I don't know if did you see the legal
don't know if did you see the legal knives that they created with the the
knives that they created with the the block on the end? I think you were
block on the end? I think you were telling me round tip knives. Have you
telling me round tip knives. Have you seen those? So, you can't stab. Still
seen those? So, you can't stab. Still cut, but no stabies. There's a whole
cut, but no stabies. There's a whole thing. Still stabies. No stabies. It's
thing. Still stabies. No stabies. It's like I hate everything. round square
like I hate everything. round square knife. Square
knife. Square British. Give me Give me a honing stone
British. Give me Give me a honing stone and a screwdriver. Like it's Well, it's
and a screwdriver. Like it's Well, it's like California with their like not
like California with their like not being able to put your thumb behind the
being able to put your thumb behind the [ __ ] the pistol, you know?
I I could stab somebody with that. Yeah, I could stab like like he was saying
I could stab like like he was saying sharp, too, you know. Just rub it
sharp, too, you know. Just rub it against a [ __ ] rock for a minute. You
against a [ __ ] rock for a minute. You can stab someone with it. That's what's
can stab someone with it. That's what's wild is get a Are they allowed to own
wild is get a Are they allowed to own lawn mower blades?
lawn mower blades? What? It's like a machete. They have
What? It's like a machete. They have those weird weird ass [ __ ] rules. The
those weird weird ass [ __ ] rules. The zombie knife rule, which is hilarious.
zombie knife rule, which is hilarious. What are their knife rules? I've
What are their knife rules? I've actually never looked at Brit are
actually never looked at Brit are British following what little we have is
British following what little we have is [ __ ] having an aneurysm right now.
[ __ ] having an aneurysm right now. Most of you guys probably agree with us,
Most of you guys probably agree with us, though. Yeah. Yeah. If you're over in
though. Yeah. Yeah. If you're over in that part of the world, let us know
that part of the world, let us know about the laws over there in the
about the laws over there in the comments. We would really be interested.
comments. We would really be interested. Also, we're sorry. This is a German
Also, we're sorry. This is a German SWAT wearing [ __ ] chain mail. I think
SWAT wearing [ __ ] chain mail. I think we were talking about that the other
we were talking about that the other day. German SWAT wearing chain mail
day. German SWAT wearing chain mail because that's what they run into.
because that's what they run into. I'd be so pissed. We're going back in
I'd be so pissed. We're going back in time. The last time people in Europe
time. The last time people in Europe were wearing chain mail, who were they
were wearing chain mail, who were they fighting again? Um
fighting again? Um um are those people in Germany right
um are those people in Germany right now?
Don't look at me. Look that way. Is that a Jerusalem crossing?
Is that a Jerusalem crossing? They have. God wills it, dude. Sorry.
They have. God wills it, dude. Sorry. Wearing a plate carrier while wearing
Wearing a plate carrier while wearing chain mail. I would be [ __ ] pissed.
chain mail. I would be [ __ ] pissed. That's hot as [ __ ] Yeah. Also, they
That's hot as [ __ ] Yeah. Also, they have a uh an unlocking folding knife
have a uh an unlocking folding knife with a blade up to 3 in can be carried
with a blade up to 3 in can be carried without valid reason. However, anything
without valid reason. However, anything else? Flick knife, butter knife, kitchen
else? Flick knife, butter knife, kitchen knife. Someone say that 3 in is too much
knife. Someone say that 3 in is too much or just enough. The big knife.
or just enough. The big knife. What is it? At least we don't have
What is it? At least we don't have school shootings every day. Well, at
school shootings every day. Well, at least our sto ain't a [ __ ] shooting
least our sto ain't a [ __ ] shooting gall.
gall. Sorry, I'm just reading chain mail.
That's where I go. That's your tweet.
At least my wife didn't get attacked for with acid for showing her ankles.
with acid for showing her ankles. Jesus
Jesus Christ. Oh, I love my group of friends.
Christ. Oh, I love my group of friends. Oh. Uh, when are we going to watch Lord
Oh. Uh, when are we going to watch Lord of the Rings? Are we doing that? Are we
of the Rings? Are we doing that? Are we going to rent out a theater to do it? I
going to rent out a theater to do it? I think we should. We're doing the whole
think we should. We're doing the whole marathon. 100%. Everyone. Okay. 12 hours
marathon. 100%. Everyone. Okay. 12 hours long. We're just going to commit to the
long. We're just going to commit to the bill. Oh, yeah. Let's go. They got a bar
bill. Oh, yeah. Let's go. They got a bar in that movie theater. What What are we
in that movie theater. What What are we worried about?
worried about? I'm down. Think I won't Door Dash food
I'm down. Think I won't Door Dash food there? Let's go. Is this an us thing or
there? Let's go. Is this an us thing or are we inviting people out to come with
are we inviting people out to come with us? I have no idea. It would be
us? I have no idea. It would be recorded. It's also I have no idea. The
recorded. It's also I have no idea. The gang does and then whoever we feel like
gang does and then whoever we feel like inviting. Yes. Okay.
inviting. Yes. Okay. Well, that one scene where he kicks the
Well, that one scene where he kicks the helmet. I don't know if you
guys popping out. [Laughter]
[Laughter] You got to remember that part. Was it?
You got to remember that part. Was it? Were you here when I talked about who
Were you here when I talked about who they wanted to play? Aragon. Yeah. Okay.
they wanted to play? Aragon. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think it was our last game.
Yeah. I think it was our last game. Okay. They tried to replace Vgo
Okay. They tried to replace Vgo Mortynson was the the first pick Russell
Mortynson was the the first pick Russell was Russell Crow. No [ __ ] Yeah. They
was Russell Crow. No [ __ ] Yeah. They wanted Russell Crow to do it and they
wanted Russell Crow to do it and they offered him like 10% of the money of the
offered him like 10% of the money of the franchise and he turned it down and he's
franchise and he turned it down and he's like that was a mistake because it was
like that was a mistake because it was like the the Alec Guinness thing. Yep.
like the the Alec Guinness thing. Yep. Where like to play Obi-Wan they would
Where like to play Obi-Wan they would have given him like something very
have given him like something very similar or like all the like some some
similar or like all the like some some percentage of the merch rights of Star
percentage of the merch rights of Star Wars. Yep. Just like uh and then you had
Wars. Yep. Just like uh and then you had uh was that Matt Damon for
uh was that Matt Damon for Avatar? Avatar. And that James Cameron
Avatar? Avatar. And that James Cameron was like, I'll give you I think it was
was like, I'll give you I think it was 10% owner 5% or 10% of all gross
10% owner 5% or 10% of all gross if you just play the part. And James
if you just play the part. And James Cameron also said he's like, I don't
Cameron also said he's like, I don't need you by the way. This is going to be
need you by the way. This is going to be massive with or without you, but I would
massive with or without you, but I would like you to be involved as the main, so
like you to be involved as the main, so I'll give you that. And he couldn't
I'll give you that. And he couldn't because he was filming Bourne, the Born
because he was filming Bourne, the Born series, and they were doing re-shoots.
series, and they were doing re-shoots. He's like, I'm sorry, I cannot. So he's
He's like, I'm sorry, I cannot. So he's like, I am probably the person who lost
like, I am probably the person who lost the most money, period.
the most money, period. Avatar all of the Avatar Avatar. Guess
Avatar all of the Avatar Avatar. Guess Avatar gross right now. $6.5 billion.
Avatar gross right now. $6.5 billion. Wait, no. Four uh 3.8 or 4.2 billion
Wait, no. Four uh 3.8 or 4.2 billion globally. So the first You just gave
globally. So the first You just gave like five numbers. Sorry. 4.2. 4.2. The
like five numbers. Sorry. 4.2. 4.2. The first one was $2.9 billion just for the
first one was $2.9 billion just for the first one. Uh-huh. I don't know the
first one. Uh-huh. I don't know the second one. I just looked up the first
second one. I just looked up the first one. But god damn, he turned that down.
one. But god damn, he turned that down. He Yeah, he was bored. Imagine then now
He Yeah, he was bored. Imagine then now and 10% or five any% of that. That's
and 10% or five any% of that. That's what he would have made it.
what he would have made it. And it was all the IP. It was the entire
And it was all the IP. It was the entire IP. That's before he would have had
IP. That's before he would have had enough money to fly to Epstein Island as
enough money to fly to Epstein Island as much as he
much as he wanted. So fine. All the [ __ ] money
wanted. So fine. All the [ __ ] money in the world. Just That's where we draw
in the world. Just That's where we draw the line. Really? Making fun of actors.
the line. Really? Making fun of actors. Nope. I'm good with it. Continue.
Nope. I'm good with it. Continue. I'm good. About it. I think on that
I'm good. About it. I think on that note, we can close her out. Are we going
note, we can close her out. Are we going to do the thing? We just do the thing.
to do the thing? We just do the thing. All right, guys. Thank you for joining
All right, guys. Thank you for joining the Unscribed Podcast. Today I was
the Unscribed Podcast. Today I was joined by Eli Double Tap, fat
joined by Eli Double Tap, fat electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself,
electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself, Donut Operator. We love
Donut Operator. We love [Music]
you. Heat. Heat. [Music]
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