This content appears to be a comedic script or transcript, likely from a television show or sketch, detailing chaotic preparations for a Christmas parade. It humorously highlights mishaps, eccentric characters, and escalating absurdity as the characters attempt to fulfill their roles.
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Jack, how long would you say a turkey
last in the fridge?
>> Oh, 3 days.
>> Right, cuz I put mine in last night, but
he was dead this morning. >> What?
>> What?
>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's
your point in that thing?
>> Sorry. The dragon gets a bit angry when
he's startled.
>> Right. Will you come on? We've got a
grotto to pick up and we've got a
Christmas parade to headline.
Rudolph had to empty the tank before his
I waited at the [music] stop sign.
Got a hole in my head. [music]
[music]
Carefully entwined
[music] from the root of the dead.
>> Since I hope Barry did a good job
building this grotto.
>> Actually, yeah, since the week after the blowing.
blowing.
>> I heard that.
>> Look, Barry's as close as a
perfectionist as you get. Not to worry
about it. All right. [bell] [music]
Well, what do you think? You think
>> This is a Christmas you won't forget.
>> Well, we definitely won't forget it,
Barry. All this took was a bit of
vision, hard work, determination, and
the will to get it done. Do you realize
I was at this since the week after the plowing?
plowing?
>> I heard. I heard.
>> Look, Barry, I know whether to laugh or cry.
cry.
Now, Jack, I know it's emotional. You
clearly know a thing of beauty.
>> I know a beauty. All right, but that's
>> right. We've got Look, we've got a
Christmas parade to headline. Barry,
where's Mrs. does.
>> Oh, she's a no-go. >> What?
>> What?
>> The pressure got to her. She was all
right waving to the crowds and doing her
Mrs. Claus stuff, but when she was
handing out the selection boxes, the
>> dead. >> Dead.
>> Dead.
>> Oh, no. Don't. She's gone in a bender.
>> I hate to say it, Sammy, but you're
going happy. Mrs. Claus, you about to
shave the legs.
>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We all
remember what happened the last time.
>> Oh, yeah.
The McConnell headquarter wasn't the
same since.
>> Shiran is in town, Nadia.
>> Oh, yeah. She's doing some promotional
work for Balman Auto Parts.
>> Nadia had fill out the costume nicely if
you can swing it.
>> Here, I'll give her a ring.
>> No, no need. I have this one.
>> You How are you going to persuade her?
>> There'll be no persuading at all. Use a
bit of masculine charm, show off the
arms, and run the panel hand.
>> All I ever wanted was $2 million cash
>> Please, please, please, Nadia, I have
all 10 of your calendars and all the
pages are stuck together.
>> Is that so? All of the pages, Jack?
>> Well, all them except November. That's
just cuz I don't like Aston Martins.
>> Oh, you cheeky so and so. The shoot with
the Aston Martin was my favorite.
>> I'll make it up to you by New Year's
Day. Out of all the November stuck together.
together.
>> Okay, but you've got a bit of work to do.
do.
>> [music]
>> All I ever wanted was to cash quick.
>> And that Barry is why garlic bread is
banned in Monahan.
[music] >> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
All I ever wanted was $2 million cash.
>> Works everything.
>> Nadia, you're legend. Thanks so much for
helping us out last minute. Right,
everyone, come on. Let's get [music]
going. We have to be headlining this
parade in 10 minutes time. Santa Claus,
Mrs. Claus, let's get you into the
grotto. I want you ready for that exit
as soon as we get there. Rudolph, have
you got your suit zipped up? Right. Come
>> What do you think of me?
>> It's cute. It's kind of got community
project vibes. Did the local kids make it?
it?
>> What? I built this myself. Well, I'm at
it since a week after the pling.
>> All right.
>> All right. Hold on tight. The two of you
is right. I'm driving.
>> No, you're not.
>> Yes, I am.
>> No, you're not.
>> Yes, I am.
>> Make sure you leave me a decent one.
>> What you mean?
>> I mean all in the galaxy and my taser
ones are gone.
>> There's no ones left.
>> You own the bounty ones. There's no
>> No one likes the bounty ones.
>> Hang on. There's one camera one here.
>> It's mine.
>> You can have the rest.
>> Nadia. Barry.
>> Nadia. Barry.
>> [ __ ] GET OUT. GET OUT. OH,
>> YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> BARRY. NADIA. BARRY. OH,
>> are you all right?
>> Oh, it's me Grotto. I don't care.
>> Never mind. your grotto. Are you okay?
>> Oh, I'm grand. I'm grand. >> Nadia,
>> Nadia,
>> Nadia, Nadia, Nadia, [screaming] Nadia,
Nadia, >> Nadia,
>> Nadia, >> Nadia,
>> Nadia,
>> Nadia, [panting]
>> Oh, there she is. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. [music]
[music]
>> All I ever wanted wasion cash quick.
>> Oh, that's all right. I'll make me own
way out. Thanks very much. [music]
[music]
>> Daddy, are you all right?
>> Ah, yeah, of course. Sure. I've seen
more chaos at a brand Thomas Black
Ah no, it's destroyed.
You not realize I've been working on
this since the week
>> after the plowing.
>> We get it, Barry. The whole parish knows
you've been working on it since the week
after the bloody plowing.
>> What do we do now?
>> We still have to get to the parade.
>> No, no, no, we don't.
I've got a better idea.
>> This is a good shout. Fammy,
>> you're not a good hair in your chest.
>> I was only missing. Jesus. Sorry.
>> You just worry about those June pages in
the calendar, Jack.
>> Barry, are you sure you don't need to go
to hospital?
>> Not at all. I made a harder stuff than that.
that.
>> Right, lads. Happy [ __ ] Christmas.
>> The wonders [music] of life [singing]
got the prettiest side for everyone to
[music] enjoy.
Standing up close [singing] by the
Christmas [music] tree. Glimmering
light. I am right where I want to be. I
will be home [singing] for a couple of
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