This content is a transcript of a "Game Grumps VS" episode where Arin and Dan play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on the Nintendo Switch, focusing on their humorous commentary, gameplay strategies, and banter.
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♫ In this corner, Grump ♫
I'm a Grump
♫ In the other corner, not so grump ♫
♫ It's Game Grumps VS ♫
ARIN: Hey. DAN: Alright it's time for the grand prix
ARIN: It's time for grand prix. We're gonna do, uh, 200cc.
DAN: That's too many cc's.
ARIN: Uhh...Let's do 150cc. DAN: Okay.
ARIN: It's all about speed
DAN: Well yeah. ARIN: Yeah. DAN: That's a race, that's what a race is.
ARIN: 50cc is kind of boring.
ARIN: So I'm gonna start us off pretty... cause we're pretty seasoned at this point I think.
DAN: Who's this little cutie?
ARIN: Who? That's Daisy.
ARIN: "Hi I'm Daisy"
DAN: I'll be 'loo-gee'.
ARIN: Loogie? Nice.
ARIN: Um...
ARIN: I'm gonna go with my classic set-up, dude.
ARIN: I'm gonna go with the sneaker!
ARIN: Just gonna say right now
ARIN: I think the sneaker's a great -- great fucking vehicle.
DAN: What was the uh...
DAN: What was the Mario game...
DAN: where Luigi gives you the cold, evil stare?
DAN: The Excitebike Arena?
ARIN: Yeah I'm down with this one. We got Mute City too. DAN: Oh my god, yes please.
ARIN: Uh, hat was this one.
DAN: That was this one.
ARIN: Yeah, you'll see in the replays.
ARIN: When you finish the round there's like replays at the very end.
DAN: Outstanding.
ARIN: It's pretty funny.
DAN: I thought this game just came out
ARIN: This is a remake
DAN: Ohhhh
ARIN: Mario Kart 8 came out on the Wii U
ARIN: And then, this is Mario Kart 8 Deluxe for the Switch.
DAN: Oh
ARIN: Yeah. Because the Switch is
ARIN: I guess equally as powerful as the Wii U
ARIN: But it's portable which is great
DAN: Now I understand. Yeah the Switch is a great system.
DAN: Full support.
ARIN: I'd fuck it.
DAN: I mean it goes without saying.
DAN: I'd fuck it right now.
ARIN: I do periodically.
ARIN: It's not a big deal.
ARIN: Just how it works.
ARIN: And it runs at lightning fast speeds. I mean who wouldn't buy a Switch?
DAN: Oh god damn.
ARIN: This version of the game actually uh...
ARIN: is like
ARIN: The best selling Mario Kart
ARIN: in history.
DAN: Really?
ARIN: I mean, fastest selling at least.
DAN: What do the coins do?
ARIN: I think they make you faster when you have more.
DAN: Really?
ARIN: Yeah.
ARIN: I could be wrong.
ARIN: But that's all I can think about.
ARIN: And...
ARIN: fuck all y'all-
ARIN: Oh my god what the fuck just happened?
ARIN: And the drift really comes in handy.
ARIN: Where are you? Seventh? Psh dude, I mean
ARIN: I thought you were good bro.
ARIN: I thought you were bringing your A-game. You know?
DAN: Joke's on you.
ARIN: Oh shit!
ARIN: Did you send that?
DAN: Yup
ARIN: Did you just send that fucking red shell right at me bro?
DAN: Yeah.
ARIN: That wasn't you. You're in eighth.
DAN: Well I did send a red shell ahead so...
DAN: Who knows. Could've been a different one.
ARIN: Shit man.
DAN: Oof
ARIN: You're fucking vicious.
ARIN: Dude I'm in ninth, I'm covered in ink
ARIN: This is going well...
DAN: I feel.
ARIN: Oh god, you gotta drift through this whole fucking stage dude.
DAN: I have eight dollars though.
DAN: Can't beat that.
ARIN: Oh man I just got fuck-
ARIN: I was in the blue shell range dude!
ARIN: Sucks!
ARIN: Oh yeah, first time baby.
ARIN: First!
DAN: Oh!
DAN: Got the pity shroom!
ARIN: Yeah!
ARIN: Come on!
ARIN: Gotta get the pity shroom.
ARIN: Shroom.
ARIN: Yeah.
ARIN: Fuck yeah. I'm in first now bitch. What are you gonna do about it?
DAN: I don't know.
ARIN: You gonna suck me off real good?
DAN: Yeah probably.
ARIN: You gonna taste it?
ARIN: You gonna taste what it's like?
DAN: Aw, someone shot me.
ARIN: That's what happens in this dog eat dog world, dude.
DAN: Monkey shot me in the ass...
ARIN: Dogs eat dogs.
DAN: God dang it
ARIN: Yeah yeah yeah yeah get that speed boost yeah
DAN: I just saw a very sleepy-looking Suzy appear in the window.
ARIN: Really?
DAN: Yeah.
ARIN: Aww.
DAN: Poor girl
ARIN: She was nappin
DAN: She
DAN:She was
ARIN: Oh shit
DAN: Oh lord.
ARIN: I just got fucking blue-shelled!
ARIN: That's bullshit!
DAN: Ugh I am not good at these races.
ARIN: Dude. You can do it bro.
ARIN: All you gotta do is harness the drift.
ARIN: You gotta harness the fucking drift.
DAN: I tried to harness that drift but...
ARIN: Just hold the R button and you'll drift.
DAN: What's the R button?
DAN: The R button? You'll drift dude.
ARIN: Oh my god.
ARIN: And when you drift, you build up speed.
ARIN: That's a Double Dash thing dude.
ARIN: Boom!
ARIN: First place!
DAN: Oh yeah!
ARIN: Yeah!
ARIN: So if you...
ARIN: press the R button, right?
ARIN: You fucking um...
ARIN: You hop
ARIN: And if you press it while you're turning...
ARIN: You'll drift.
ARIN: And you'll see like little sparks on your tires.
DAN: Okay
ARIN: And they'll start out as like yellow and then they'll go blue.
ARIN: And then depending on which one it is, you'll get like a little mini boost.
DAN: Ooh.
ARIN: Yeah
ARIN: So like, that whole stage was like drift city.
ARIN: So I was like... I was litera-
ARIN: It was one-hundred percent drift from start to finish.
DAN: Holy crap.
ARIN: To quote overdrift.
DAN: Here comes the Excitebike Arena. *fart noise*
DAN: Yeah!
ARIN: Well this is straight Excitebike.
DAN: Yo I love this.
ARIN: Oh no it's got the goo!
ARIN: Oh it's got the goo too, dude!
DAN: What?
ARIN: It's got the goo, man! The slow down goo!
DAN: Oh shit, really?
ARIN: Yeah man.
ARIN: You don't want to hit the slow down goo.
ARIN: I hit the slow down goo.
D*fart noise*
ARIN: Dude, there was a fucking Wii game called "Excite Trucks"
ARIN: And then "Excitebots"
ARIN: And it was supposed to be like the modern day Excitebike
ARIN: And that shit was fun as hell.
ARIN: I'm not gonna lie.
DAN: What is this?
DAN: Woah what is that thing?
ARIN: What?
DAN: Oh no the goo.
ARIN: Oh there's goo everywhere dude.
DAN: No no wha- what-
DAN: I had like an airhorn...
DAN: box type...
ARIN: Oh I think it like...
ARIN: it's like an area effect, or something.
DAN: Oh someone...
DAN: That fucking little snake.
DAN: Snagged my boxes.
ARIN: Boom!
ARIN: Look at me fucking jump, bitch
ARIN: Look at me fucking jump.
ARIN: Yo, I'm in first. What are you gonna do about it?
DAN: Not a lot.
DAN: Cause I'm feeling, like
DAN: I don't think I picked a very fast vehicle
ARIN: Dude, it's all about the turning, bro
ARIN: It looks like you picked a fast vehicle, look at it
DAN: It's like an F1 racer. ARIN: I know
ARIN: I'm driving a shoe, how do you think I feel?
DAN: I don't know
ARIN: I mean, I am in first, but--
ARIN: still, you get what I mean.
DAN: Whoa!
DAN: Whoo!
ARIN: Oh shit, I'm not getting any bonuses--
ARIN: No, I'm in second now!
ARIN: Fucking Lu--who-who's in front of me?
ARIN: Fucking inkling kid
ARIN: This fucker is dead
ARIN: He's dead
ARIN: Dead!
ARIN: Oh, I didn't get him
ARIN: Boom, bitch!
ARIN: I'm going to vault over this fuck
ARIN: Vaulted!
ARIN: C'mere, c'mere, c'mere c'mere c'mere c'mere
DAN: Vaaaulted over this fuuuck ARIN: Haha
ARIN: Ooh
ARIN: Ooh
ARIN: This fucking chocolate spill, dude
ARIN: It looks like the fudge before you bake brownies
ARIN: The hell's it doing on the racecra-track?
ARIN: Goddamn Mario, fucking Peach trying to make a cake everywhere she goes
ARIN: Uh-oh, uh-oh
ARIN: Oh no, I got inked!
ARIN: You'd think that would be a benefit for me
ARIN: being an inkling kid DAN: Yeah, it's not, aww
DAN: I was cruising for a minute there ARIN: C'mon bitch, c'mon bitch
ARIN: You know what's a good strategy?
DAN: What's that?
ARIN: To get really good items, and then get first
DAN: Yeah, that is a good strategy, Arin
ARIN: And then just, like, wait for somebody to show up DAN: Oh my god, you are crushing this
ARIN: Yeah dude, that's because I'm a squid
ARIN: Naw, I'm a kid
ARIN: I'm both. I'm a kid, I'm a squid
DAN: Great job
ARIN: Thank you man, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you
DAN: We got time for one more race
ARIN: It means the world to me
ARIN: that you would say
ARIN: that I'm good at this
(Dan laughing)
(Arin gasping)
DAN: I'm gonna straight fucking rabbit punch you
ARIN: I don't know if I can keep doing Game Grumps cause--
DAN: The Dragon Driftway?
ARIN: Holy shit, this is Snake Way, dude
DAN: Ooh, I love it
ARIN: You're gonna have to drift
ARIN: You--you're gonna have to use all you learned about the drift
DAN: On the driftway?
ARIN: Yeah
DAN: I can't believe it
DAN: Alright
ARIN: Do you know how to drift?
ARIN: H-have I taught you sufficiently how to drift?
DAN: "R", right?
ARIN: Y-yeah
DAN: Okay, so yeah
(Dan laughs) ARIN: Hold "R", when you turn
ARIN: you'll do a little bounce, and then you'll drift
ARIN: And then like, right now, drift is good
ARIN: And you wanna drift into it
ARIN: And you can kinda go straight if you drift the opposite direction
ARIN: while you're drifting the opposite direction
ARIN: Get what I'm saying?
DAN: No
ARIN: So if you're drifting left,
ARIN: and then you pull right while you're still drifting left
ARIN: you'll kinda go straight
DAN: Whoa
ARIN: Yeah, so it's a real--
ARIN: You basically always want to be drifting cause it-it gives you a boost at-at the end
DAN: ABD, bro
ARIN: ABD, always be drifting
ARIN: T-that's *my* mantra, how'd you know it?
DAN: I dunno
ARIN: That's my typical mantra
ARIN: Dude
ARIN: Do you have the drift in your heart?
(Dan laughs)
ARIN: Are you the chosen drifter?
DAN: This thing, what is this?
ARIN: What is what?
DAN: Well, this thing here ARIN: Oh, it's-it's like an AOE thing
DAN: What does that mean?
ARIN: Area of Effect
DAN: Ohh ARIN: It goes all around you
DAN: Ah
ARIN: So like anybody that's near you, in that little vicinity
ARIN: will get hurt
DAN: Oh crap, am I tiny right now?
ARIN: Yeah, you're tiny. We're all tiny, bro
ARIN: Except for the person who made us tiny
ARIN: Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.
ARIN: First place feels pretty good right now
DAN: So happy for you
ARIN: Dude, I know
ARIN: How come we leave drift lines when we're floating, like
ARIN: What the fuck is up with that? DAN: Yeah
DAN: it's an amazing question
ARIN: and *pbbbt* DAN: Ah
ARIN: Look at how much I'm drifting
ARIN: Dude, there's bananas everywhere!
ARIN: This course is bananas!
DAN: Whoa
ARIN: Yes
ARIN: Take my boomerang
ARIN: Enjoy it
ARIN: Shove it somewhere
ARIN: I don't care
ARIN: The attic, your asshole, I don't know
ARIN: Wherever
DAN: It's gonna happen one way or another
ARIN: I'm going pretty dang fast right now
DAN: One way or another,
DAN: something's going in your asshole.
ARIN: I mean, pfft
ARIN: I can fuck it.
ARIN: Doesn't matter what it is
ARIN: As long as it's long and angular, I can fuck it
ARIN: Sorry, I'm just concentrating on the race
DAN: Yeah, no, it's no problem
(Arin laughing)
ARIN: It's like, I can only think of two things
ARIN: C'mon baby, c'mon
ARIN: I'm in fourth right now, I'm sucking dicks
DAN: You've totally got this shit
ARIN: Are you in 10th?
ARIN: Dude DAN: NO
ARIN: Dude, you can do it
DAN: I'm in 11th
ARIN: You get amazing abilities, dude
ARIN: You get crazy items
ARIN: I'm in 9th, what the fuck?
ARIN: This is bull hockey
ARIN: And I'm short on coins, too
ARIN: That's my problem, I need more coinage
DAN: Wow
DAN: These things eat bananas
DAN: That's pretty cool
(Arin laughing)
ARIN: Dan Avidan, 2017 (Dan laughing)
ARIN: "Whoa"
ARIN: "These things eat bananas"
ARIN: G-Gall dern
ARIN: This gall dern game
ARIN: i-it's giving me, it's giving me--
ARIN: a-a little bit of a heart attack
ARIN: just a little bit of a-a palp
DAN: I'm in fucking first place
ARIN: a couple-ARE YOU IN FIRST
DAN: I just -- (bursts into laughter)
ARIN: You --
ARIN: You tit! (pounding)
DAN: Oh my god, I went from 11th to 1st
ARIN: How did you first
DAN: I don't know
ARIN: You tit!
DAN: And you went from 1st to 11th!
(Arin screams)
(Dan laughing)
DAN: Yaaaaaay
ARIN: How did you tit!
DAN: That was awesome
DAN: You still got this one, you still got this
(Arin groaning)
DAN: We have to call it a day cause we're late for something
DAN: But I love you, Arin
DAN: Great Game Grumping
ARIN: I love you, Dan
DAN: I love you, fans
DAN: I love you, lovelies
DAN: Boy,
DAN: That was a fun fi-tha--
DAN: Those seven episodes went fast as hell
ARIN: Yeah, because, um
ARIN: when you're having fun with good friends,
ARIN: time flies.
DAN: Yeah, I think it was the game,
DAN: honestly.
ARIN: Wow--
DAN: Aaaanywho (laugh)
ARIN: Yeah, me too
DAN: Aww, don't-don't be sad, don't
DAN: don't end it on a sad note
ARIN: I thought it was a fun game
DAN: Don't pretend to be sad!
DAN: You know you had a blast
ARIN: No, it's-I'm not pretending
(Dan wheezing)
DAN: Looking at your face, like
DAN: the corners of your mouth are like, curving up in a smile
(Arin laughing)
ARIN: T-that's how I cry
(laughter)
DAN: I cry through my teeth
ARIN: It's a strange disorder, my psychiatrist doesn't understand!
(Dan laughing)
DAN: See you later, everybody!
ARIN: Bye
DAN: Bye!
*sniff*
DAN: Mmm
DAN: Those were good times
ARIN: You're a good time
(Dan gasps)
DAN: Finally
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