all [ __ ] up so where am I going to put
discipline in that mind if I can't find
other [ __ ]
you got to be able to find all these
different things in your mind oh I can
put discipline right there I can put
consistency right there I can put all
these things right there in that spot so
that's what I'm talking about if your
life is not
organized in your life being everything
around you because it takes one little
[ __ ] up piece of an outside
interference to Cutter your whole mind
because it's on such a knife edge that's
right and people don't get that your
mind has to always be clear that's why
Mo that's why I meditate two hours every
single night because I refresh I
reorganize the garage which is my mind
every night so then discipline's in
there organization everything is in this
right spot so when I wake up I'm ready
to go what does a morning look like for
you at the moment have you got a routine
of some kind yes I run every single
morning so that's what time you up when
are you waking up I'm up about 5 5:30 so
every morning starts with a run and
that's because that's the one thing I
hate to do more than anything in the
world so that's like my cup of coffee
and I'm all about armoring yourself so
the second you leave your house and the
second you open your phone the second
you do any of that [ __ ] you are now
letting them poison in
cancer so I make sure a lot of things
you can't avoid so as I get up I start
to armor plate my mind and body like a
person's going to war you put your body
armor on that's what I'm doing on that
run I'm waking up and I'm giving myself
all this armor so when I come out in the
world now look at that phone I'm ready
I'm not waking up late I'm not rushing
around I'm not disorganized because I
know I'm gonna get hit in the [ __ ]
mouth there's a there's an art to
getting hit in the [ __ ]
mouth and that is why these things are
important you have to wake up and you
have to give yourself belief you have to
give yourself confidence so that it
starts with that run so after the run I
come home I eat something small how
long's the Run typically at the moment
nowhere Under 12 miles so 12 miles is
the minimum and what are you getting
that done in how long it depends right
now I'm running a heart rate so I'm
running like 815s 830s cuz I'm
retraining right now because is that
zone two for you zone two because of the
leg I had so I'm going back starting
from scratch so anywhere from about an
hour 30 to two hours I run every day mhm
so that's so you're fasted on the
morning up straight out straight out 90
minutes to two hours of running back eat
eat and I'm in the gym so and then after
that um to whatever's on the plan for
the day that's how that works every day
are you still doing your stretching cuz
you've got two hours of you've got two
hours of meditation 90 minutes to 2 of
running MH how long's the gym session
depends 45 to an hour and a half okay mhm stretching meditation run M
mhm stretching meditation run M eat gy
eat gy M what is that my missing Jennifer oh
M what is that my missing Jennifer oh yeah yeah forgot about that you cycle as
yeah yeah forgot about that you cycle as well yeah how long are you cycling it
well yeah how long are you cycling it just depends I do stationary bike right
just depends I do stationary bike right now a lot uhuh what do youing is it like
now a lot uhuh what do youing is it like a wat bike or something similar yeah
a wat bike or something similar yeah something similar so I put my bike on a
something similar so I put my bike on a uh like trainer M and I cycle yep at
uh like trainer M and I cycle yep at least three or four days a week I'll do
least three or four days a week I'll do that
that so that's your day there's no there's
so that's your day there's no there's there is no room for anything
there is no room for anything else yeah there is a lot of room so
else yeah there is a lot of room so there's 24 hours and I and I use it all
there's 24 hours and I and I use it all pretty pretty well how's your sleep
pretty pretty well how's your sleep what's your sleep L it's really good
what's your sleep L it's really good okay getting eight hours is something
okay getting eight hours is something like that seven eight hours mhm yeah
like that seven eight hours mhm yeah well you need to with this sort of
well you need to with this sort of volume 78 hours and you're still doing
volume 78 hours and you're still doing your stretching stuff every night so
your stretching stuff every night so you've got a 4H hour block basically of
you've got a 4H hour block basically of stretching meditation that's all in one
stretching meditation that's all in one block you combine the two right yeah
block you combine the two right yeah that's all in one block cool yep that's
that's all in one block cool yep that's one hell of a day it is and it's been
one hell of a day it is and it's been like that for seven years but going back
like that for seven years but going back to what you said before about needing to
to what you said before about needing to cap success MH you wouldn't be able to
cap success MH you wouldn't be able to fit even one tenth of that in exactly if
fit even one tenth of that in exactly if you were chasing down exactly yep that's
you were chasing down exactly yep that's exactly it so if all that's [ __ ] up
exactly it so if all that's [ __ ] up that's why I got a cap success because I
that's why I got a cap success because I can't put that in and and that's my
can't put that in and and that's my growth factor so you know that's that's
growth factor so you know that's that's my human growth factor you said before
my human growth factor you said before about um how you build up self-esteem
about um how you build up self-esteem and confidence and stuff and there's
and confidence and stuff and there's this quote from one of my friends Alex
this quote from one of my friends Alex hosi that says you don't become
hosi that says you don't become Confident by shouting affirmations in
Confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror but by having a stack of
the mirror but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you
undeniable proof that you are who you say you are outwork your self-doubt yes
say you are outwork your self-doubt yes that's that's nailed nailed completely
that's that's nailed nailed completely nailed yes because a lot of people will
nailed yes because a lot of people will in some of these motiv ation people out
in some of these motiv ation people out here it's It's the funniest thing in the
here it's It's the funniest thing in the world to me they'll go and say when you
world to me they'll go and say when you wake up in the morning pound your chest
wake up in the morning pound your chest you know [ __ ] look at yourself in the
you know [ __ ] look at yourself in the mirror and do all this [ __ ] [ __ ]
mirror and do all this [ __ ] [ __ ] I hope it works what works for me is
I hope it works what works for me is that everyday resume the things I know
that everyday resume the things I know I've accomplished the things I know I've
I've accomplished the things I know I've done real hard work the real calluses on
done real hard work the real calluses on my mind the real calluses on my hands
my mind the real calluses on my hands that's that's it that you don't need to
that's that's it that you don't need to pound your chest in the mirror of the
pound your chest in the mirror of the [ __ ] anymore if you have that it seems
[ __ ] anymore if you have that it seems like especially with confidence right or
like especially with confidence right or self-esteem there's a relationship
self-esteem there's a relationship between confidence and competence so
between confidence and competence so what you're looking to do is try and
what you're looking to do is try and have what you believe that you can do be
have what you believe that you can do be ahead of what you can do now you're not
ahead of what you can do now you're not looking for it to be delusional you
looking for it to be delusional you don't want it to to be able to believe
don't want it to to be able to believe that you can do something like fly right
that you can do something like fly right but you need to have a relationship
but you need to have a relationship between the two but what people are
between the two but what people are asking for is for their confidence to be
asking for is for their confidence to be so far ahead of their competence that or
so far ahead of their competence that or without having even been competent at
without having even been competent at anything in the beginning and that's
anything in the beginning and that's just delusion that's fantasy right well
just delusion that's fantasy right well I believe that you have to build
I believe that you have to build belief belief is like there's an after
belief belief is like there's an after school special belief where the mom says
school special belief where the mom says believe in yourself and that's all great
believe in yourself and that's all great but there's also a built belief and the
but there's also a built belief and the built belief is one where you are
built belief is one where you are constantly like for me I came from a bad
constantly like for me I came from a bad place How I build belief is through the
place How I build belief is through the the daunting tasks I put myself through
the daunting tasks I put myself through so that's proof positive that I can't
so that's proof positive that I can't so it correlates and that's how this
so it correlates and that's how this piece of [ __ ] kid I once thought I was
piece of [ __ ] kid I once thought I was built belief by saying hm I was in three
built belief by saying hm I was in three hell weeks I went to Ranger school I
hell weeks I went to Ranger school I tried out for Delta selection undeniable
tried out for Delta selection undeniable stock of proof that is proof
stock of proof that is proof [ __ ] so whenever you think
[ __ ] so whenever you think whenever you think you can't confidence
whenever you think you can't confidence comes from the thing that you built you
comes from the thing that you built you must build belief you must build
must build belief you must build confidence it can't be like he um I'm
confidence it can't be like he um I'm going go knock that [ __ ] out you got to
going go knock that [ __ ] out you got to look over here and say I can knock that
look over here and say I can knock that [ __ ] out it's belief and it's built on
[ __ ] out it's belief and it's built on what you put in to yourself another
what you put in to yourself another friend sent me a a message this morning
friend sent me a a message this morning knowing that we had this this big thing
knowing that we had this this big thing that we've working toward for a long
that we've working toward for a long time today he said uh nature said I know
time today he said uh nature said I know of no better life purpose than to perish
of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and impossible
in attempting the great and impossible the fact that something seems impossible
the fact that something seems impossible shouldn't be a reason to not pursue it
shouldn't be a reason to not pursue it that's exactly what makes it worth
that's exactly what makes it worth pursuing where would the courage and
pursuing where would the courage and greatness be if success was certain and
greatness be if success was certain and there was no risk the only true failure
there was no risk the only true failure is shrinking away from life's challenges
is shrinking away from life's challenges na that one also two for two na that one
na that one also two for two na that one also man yeah it's that um it's that
also man yeah it's that um it's that dealing with laziness and self-doubt
dealing with laziness and self-doubt thing I think
thing I think uh and I do wonder how many people use
uh and I do wonder how many people use the look in the mirror pound the chest
the look in the mirror pound the chest stare into your eyes say your
stare into your eyes say your affirmations don't get the results and
affirmations don't get the results and then lose
then lose confidence well that's part of it a lot
confidence well that's part of it a lot of it is limit to
of it is limit to Horizons limited Horizons are like I use
Horizons limited Horizons are like I use me as an example
me as an example always I came from a small town in
always I came from a small town in Indiana where there was a handful of
Indiana where there was a handful of black
black families and a lot of people in that
families and a lot of people in that town when you come from a town of 8,000
town when you come from a town of 8,000 people it's like we had a local plant
people it's like we had a local plant Great Dane you're like you know what I
Great Dane you're like you know what I want to work at Great Dane and get a
want to work at Great Dane and get a house next to my mom that's what you
house next to my mom that's what you know so many of us come from these small
know so many of us come from these small places in our mind that we're not
places in our mind that we're not willing to think outside of only what
willing to think outside of only what we've seen our mind works in such a
we've seen our mind works in such a small
small compartment and one thing I was able to
compartment and one thing I was able to do was to dream many people but don't
do was to dream many people but don't make dreams your [ __ ] m
make dreams your [ __ ] m Master but I was able to dream outside
Master but I was able to dream outside those [ __ ] Four Walls of that small
those [ __ ] Four Walls of that small town and until you're able to really put
town and until you're able to really put yourself into that dream but don't make
yourself into that dream but don't make dreams your master that's where you
dreams your master that's where you truly become what you're destined to
truly become what you're destined to become what you mean don't make dreams
become what you mean don't make dreams your master a lot of people sit back and
your master a lot of people sit back and they dream about being a sports figure
they dream about being a sports figure or dream about being a seal or dream
or dream about being a seal or dream about being an astronaut all it is is a
about being an astronaut all it is is a [ __ ] dream they don't put the
[ __ ] dream they don't put the work behind the dream that dream has
work behind the dream that dream has become their [ __ ] Master when you
become their [ __ ] Master when you become the master of your [ __ ] dream
become the master of your [ __ ] dream is when you say I want to go be a Navy
is when you say I want to go be a Navy SEAL and you say okay I'm gonna lose 106
SEAL and you say okay I'm gonna lose 106 pounds and less than three [ __ ]
pounds and less than three [ __ ] months the dream was the one thing I
months the dream was the one thing I thought about and the dream was now gone
thought about and the dream was now gone now what comes in the dream goes away
now what comes in the dream goes away and the [ __ ] laundry list of [ __ ]
and the [ __ ] laundry list of [ __ ] details and tasks come up got do this
details and tasks come up got do this gotta do this gotta do this gotta do
gotta do this gotta do this gotta do this that's when you become the master
this that's when you become the master of your dream so a lot of people out
of your dream so a lot of people out there dreaming Ryan holiday says talking
there dreaming Ryan holiday says talking about the thing and doing the thing V
about the thing and doing the thing V for the same resources allocate yours
for the same resources allocate yours appropriately that's it that's it that's
appropriately that's it that's it that's the way it works as well that's the way
the way it works as well that's the way that the brain works you can actually
that the brain works you can actually get these kicks of dopamine by telling
get these kicks of dopamine by telling your friends about I'm going to be a
your friends about I'm going to be a Navy SEAL I'm going to start my training
Navy SEAL I'm going to start my training next week it's going to be great I'm
next week it's going to be great I'm gonna feel like this feels good it feels
gonna feel like this feels good it feels good to talk about that [ __ ] man it
good to talk about that [ __ ] man it actually makes you feel good makes you
actually makes you feel good makes you feel proud all that [ __ ] but guess what
feel proud all that [ __ ] but guess what happens that alarm clock goes off at
happens that alarm clock goes off at 4:00 am. to
4:00 am. to train I want to be a seal today or I
train I want to be a seal today or I don't want to be whatever today I'll
don't want to be whatever today I'll start tomorrow and that's the usual
start tomorrow and that's the usual pattern of people's lives that's why I
pattern of people's lives that's why I talk about clearing out the mind until
talk about clearing out the mind until you really want to do something you're
you really want to do something you're always G to be a talker you always get
always G to be a talker you always get run your [ __ ] mouth so again with the
run your [ __ ] mouth so again with the audio version of this book you've done
audio version of this book you've done podcasts in between each chapter where
podcasts in between each chapter where you're recapping what's just happened
you're recapping what's just happened and this time you brought guests one of
and this time you brought guests one of which was your mother right and you
which was your mother right and you spend a 35 minute conversation sitting
spend a 35 minute conversation sitting down with her and talking about the
down with her and talking about the experiences that she had with your
experiences that she had with your father and reflecting on that right a
father and reflecting on that right a lot of stuff you'd elected to leave out
lot of stuff you'd elected to leave out of the first book so that means there's
of the first book so that means there's been a journey that you've gone through
been a journey that you've gone through to get to the stage where both you and
to get to the stage where both you and her and collaboratively you felt okay
her and collaboratively you felt okay sharing that publicly right like what's
sharing that publicly right like what's that process like CU your mom didn't ask
that process like CU your mom didn't ask for this I mean you kind of also did you
for this I mean you kind of also did you put a book out there because you thought
put a book out there because you thought it was useful and now millions and
it was useful and now millions and millions of people know about you but
millions of people know about you but right you know the uh gravity field of
right you know the uh gravity field of your notoriety is starting to bring
your notoriety is starting to bring other people in as well so what was the
other people in as well so what was the Journey of getting to that stage like
Journey of getting to that stage like well it wasn't so much me I had already
well it wasn't so much me I had already laid out you know a lot of [ __ ] about me
laid out you know a lot of [ __ ] about me that was you know pretty embarrassing
that was you know pretty embarrassing and can't hurt me so for her her that
and can't hurt me so for her her that actually helped her out she said wow if
actually helped her out she said wow if you had the courage to go out there and
you had the courage to go out there and tell people all your [ __ ] you know and
tell people all your [ __ ] you know and so that process was it it took about
so that process was it it took about four years of me working with my mom
four years of me working with my mom because you know she was very damaged by
because you know she was very damaged by what she went through and so was I but I
what she went through and so was I but I knew no one was coming to save me so I
knew no one was coming to save me so I had to go ahead and fix my [ __ ] and she
had to go ahead and fix my [ __ ] and she kind of lived in a different place but
kind of lived in a different place but when I wrote can't hurt me it started
when I wrote can't hurt me it started waking her up
waking her up that hey man why do you care why do you
that hey man why do you care why do you care so much what people think about you
care so much what people think about you what you went through why why are you
what you went through why why are you putting so much so much on other people
putting so much so much on other people and what they may say about you like
and what they may say about you like there's some stuff I talk about you know
there's some stuff I talk about you know that is pretty embarrassing for some
that is pretty embarrassing for some people but she got to a point in her
people but she got to a point in her life where she was able to you know stop
life where she was able to you know stop caring because we all have our [ __ ] no
caring because we all have our [ __ ] no one that like people it's so funny to me
one that like people it's so funny to me there be people who are out here
there be people who are out here commentating about people who are
commentating about people who are [ __ ] up out here famous people are
[ __ ] up out here famous people are [ __ ] up and I don't know how they're
[ __ ] up and I don't know how they're able to do that when I guarantee while
able to do that when I guarantee while your skeletons are not being out there
your skeletons are not being out there if I were to open up your [ __ ] door
if I were to open up your [ __ ] door [ __ ] how how how are you doing
[ __ ] how how how are you doing that so I know that about everybody like
that so I know that about everybody like people love to talk [ __ ] about somebody
people love to talk [ __ ] about somebody and keep themselves out of it and so we
and keep themselves out of it and so we went through that journey together and
went through that journey together and so it allowed her to come out and say
so it allowed her to come out and say yeah [ __ ] it you know I'm I'm a big
yeah [ __ ] it you know I'm I'm a big person who I want to get people to
person who I want to get people to confidence to walk in the room of a
confidence to walk in the room of a million people and none of them like you
million people and none of them like you and you just like say [ __ ] you I'm good
and you just like say [ __ ] you I'm good and walk out with you by yourself you
and walk out with you by yourself you helped your mom do that as well and now
helped your mom do that as well and now she can look at everybody and say yeah I
she can look at everybody and say yeah I [ __ ] married a [ __ ] that
[ __ ] married a [ __ ] that choked the woman to death I was in a bad
choked the woman to death I was in a bad place I'm good with
place I'm good with that one of the days that you focus on a
that one of the days that you focus on a good bit in that conversation is the day
good bit in that conversation is the day that she decided to leave your father
that she decided to leave your father right and take you and your brother with
right and take you and your brother with her MH was there anything that you
her MH was there anything that you learned about upon reflection MH where
learned about upon reflection MH where both of your experiences uh opened up a
both of your experiences uh opened up a new realization to
new realization to you that that was a hard time for her
you that that was a hard time for her and for me also I was ready to leave a
and for me also I was ready to leave a long time ago I was just waiting for her
long time ago I was just waiting for her to get the courage to finally leave him
to get the courage to finally leave him and um
and um I don't think anything from that
I don't think anything from that really I think that's where the damage
really I think that's where the damage really began I think for her when she
really began I think for her when she left it almost her
left it almost her fight went away and it's kind of like
fight went away and it's kind of like when you run 100 miles when you sit down
when you run 100 miles when you sit down your body can then say exactly what I
your body can then say exactly what I was thinking I'm done exactly what I was
was thinking I'm done exactly what I was thinking the second she
thinking the second she left that the Mind said oh my God
left that the Mind said oh my God like we can we can be human it's like
like we can we can be human it's like PTSD yes we can be human and we're not
PTSD yes we can be human and we're not fighting anymore and it just swarmed the
fighting anymore and it just swarmed the demons that all that fight and all that
demons that all that fight and all that [ __ ] was keeping away it just came and
[ __ ] was keeping away it just came and it swallowed it swallowed her whole and
it swallowed it swallowed her whole and it also swallowed me whole but once
it also swallowed me whole but once again like we're were talking about I
again like we're were talking about I got a chance to watch
got a chance to watch her and she set out the ultimate
her and she set out the ultimate blueprint on how not to be
blueprint on how not to be so I had a hard time learning growing up
so I had a hard time learning growing up but I was very smart when it came to
but I was very smart when it came to human beings a genius because I lived in
human beings a genius because I lived in such hell I was always studying people
such hell I was always studying people who can I trust who can I not trust
who can I trust who can I not trust energy I I got really good with energy
energy I I got really good with energy can I is this person's energy good is it
can I is this person's energy good is it bad so I became a genius on human beings
bad so I became a genius on human beings so I studied people all the time studied
so I studied people all the time studied all the time she also talks about
all the time she also talks about considering taking her own life oh yeah
considering taking her own life oh yeah were you aware of that before you
were you aware of that before you started working toward this book yeah so
started working toward this book yeah so yeah she she talked about that a few
yeah she she talked about that a few times with me you know behind closed
times with me you know behind closed doors and um I'm I'm I'm I'm surprised
doors and um I'm I'm I'm I'm surprised she didn't you know there's a lot of
she didn't you know there's a lot of stories that are still ont told that she
stories that are still ont told that she probably will never talk about and I'll
probably will never talk about and I'll never talk about them until she says
never talk about them until she says it's fine but um yeah it was it was a
it's fine but um yeah it was it was a bad it was it was a bad way so I I I
bad it was it was a bad way so I I I give her credit for having the strength
give her credit for having the strength to say okay I need to continue on and
to say okay I need to continue on and figure out you know what's next for me
figure out you know what's next for me which she says the only reason that she
which she says the only reason that she didn't go through with it is because of
didn't go through with it is because of you and your brother because she knew
you and your brother because she knew that she would be leaving you in the
that she would be leaving you in the hands of this Tyrant that was going to
hands of this Tyrant that was going to mistreat you even more badly now that
mistreat you even more badly now that she wasn't around to protect you yeah
she wasn't around to protect you yeah which is a it's beautiful but it's also
which is a it's beautiful but it's also kind of a lot of pressure it feels like
kind of a lot of pressure it feels like a lot of pressure for a child to be the
a lot of pressure for a child to be the reason for his mother to to still be
reason for his mother to to still be there and it's also a damning conclusion
there and it's also a damning conclusion about the state of her life right that
about the state of her life right that the only thing stopping you from taking
the only thing stopping you from taking your own life is these two boys but it's
your own life is these two boys but it's also beautiful in a way because a lot of
also beautiful in a way because a lot of people only have one
people only have one thing you don't need a lot of things
thing you don't need a lot of things sometimes only thing that kept me with
sometimes only thing that kept me with that one step forward was one thing and
that one step forward was one thing and so that one thing can get you to two
so that one thing can get you to two things to three things to four things so
things to three things to four things so that was the beautiful thing about that
that was the beautiful thing about that is that now she's 75 and she's retired
is that now she's 75 and she's retired because of that one
because of that one thing
thing how I mean you you're having this
how I mean you you're having this conversation with your mom during the
conversation with your mom during the production of the audio
production of the audio book you're having a conversation which
book you're having a conversation which is difficult to have in private right
is difficult to have in private right with two microphones in front of you
with two microphones in front of you knowing full well that this is going out
knowing full well that this is going out to millions of people it's going to be
to millions of people it's going to be scrutinized it's going to be listened to
scrutinized it's going to be listened to it's going to be reflected on Y how
it's going to be reflected on Y how difficult is it to watch your mother
difficult is it to watch your mother opening up about an experience which to
opening up about an experience which to you was traumatic and then reopening
you was traumatic and then reopening those wounds in front of you and talking
those wounds in front of you and talking about that for millions of people to
about that for millions of people to hear oh it's it's hard it's hard
hear oh it's it's hard it's hard but it's
but it's necessary why to be able to own your
necessary why to be able to own your trauma to be able to own everything
trauma to be able to own everything about you and look it in the
about you and look it in the eye like there's a part in Eight Mile
eye like there's a part in Eight Mile with Eminem the very end when this white
with Eminem the very end when this white boy you know [ __ ] trying to make it
boy you know [ __ ] trying to make it in the rap world and getting beat down
in the rap world and getting beat down and [ __ ] comes from some trailer park
and [ __ ] comes from some trailer park [ __ ] and he's like how the [ __ ] am I GNA
[ __ ] and he's like how the [ __ ] am I GNA win this rap battle because my best
win this rap battle because my best friend got shot in the foot and this
friend got shot in the foot and this dude slept with my girl and all this
dude slept with my girl and all this [ __ ] so what he does to take all the
[ __ ] so what he does to take all the power from the [ __ ] gonna rap
power from the [ __ ] gonna rap battle his ass he's
battle his ass he's like I'm going to tell you every
like I'm going to tell you every [ __ ] thing about me I'm just
[ __ ] thing about me I'm just going to [ __ ] tell you and that's how
going to [ __ ] tell you and that's how I feel about life and that's how my mom
I feel about life and that's how my mom now feels about life I'm just gonna
now feels about life I'm just gonna [ __ ] tell you everything a [ __ ]
[ __ ] tell you everything a [ __ ] about me I'm not gonna hide I'm not
about me I'm not gonna hide I'm not gonna do none of this [ __ ] and it's a
gonna do none of this [ __ ] and it's a refreshing feeling when you can get in
refreshing feeling when you can get in front of millions of people get
front of millions of people get audiobook and you can go through your
audiobook and you can go through your [ __ ] and lay it out and you walk away
[ __ ] and lay it out and you walk away there's no more secrets there's no more
there's no more secrets there's no more secrets like when people say oh hey
secrets like when people say oh hey Lance Armstrong did you do steroids no
Lance Armstrong did you do steroids no no no
no no yes while I have nothing I have nothing
yes while I have nothing I have nothing wrong with Lance Armstrong or anybody
wrong with Lance Armstrong or anybody else just [ __ ] tell the [ __ ]
else just [ __ ] tell the [ __ ] man and guess what happens to the
man and guess what happens to the conversation it's over it [ __ ] ends
conversation it's over it [ __ ] ends there's a really telling Moment In the
there's a really telling Moment In the book I think it's my favorite part and
book I think it's my favorite part and it's not even in this one it's in the
it's not even in this one it's in the audio book and it's when it's getting
audio book and it's when it's getting quite difficult with your mom mhm and
quite difficult with your mom mhm and you offer her a root out you ask if she
you offer her a root out you ask if she wants to take a break y she says no I
wants to take a break y she says no I want to keep going so it seems like
want to keep going so it seems like she's got a bit of that dog in her as
she's got a bit of that dog in her as well oh yeah she had to yeah she had to
well oh yeah she had to yeah she had to one one thing that when you grow up the
one one thing that when you grow up the way we kind of grew up together that's
way we kind of grew up together that's how I look at it when you grew up when
how I look at it when you grew up when she had you and she had J 28 and my
she had you and she had J 28 and my brother at 24 so um after that you know
brother at 24 so um after that you know we grew up together and you got to have
we grew up together and you got to have a dog you you have to have a dog in you
a dog you you have to have a dog in you man and so you have to have like like my
man and so you have to have like like my grandfather called it a stiff upper lip
grandfather called it a stiff upper lip you better have a stiff upper lip so you
you better have a stiff upper lip so you know yeah she has some dog in her she
know yeah she has some dog in her she has some dog in her she has to there's
has some dog in her she has to there's no other way to make it out here I mean
no other way to make it out here I mean you can't just always be you know head
you can't just always be you know head down in the sand you gotta learn to pick
down in the sand you gotta learn to pick yourself up on your own a lot of times
yourself up on your own a lot of times these fights and these battles you got
these fights and these battles you got to be your own [ __ ] coach you got to
to be your own [ __ ] coach you got to be your own motivator and she had do
be your own motivator and she had do that several times in her life given all
that several times in her life given all of this trauma that you go through why
of this trauma that you go through why would you choose to go back and see this
would you choose to go back and see this Tyrant of a father for one last time it
Tyrant of a father for one last time it was the only way for me to move
was the only way for me to move forward so like a lot of
forward so like a lot of times if your back is hurting it may not
times if your back is hurting it may not be your [ __ ] back it may be something
be your [ __ ] back it may be something else in your body that's making your
else in your body that's making your back hurt for
back hurt for me I'm like man why can't I get past
me I'm like man why can't I get past this [ __ ] hurdle so like I said I'm
this [ __ ] hurdle so like I said I'm always is examining myself every day
always is examining myself every day what is it what is it well there's only
what is it what is it well there's only one thing you haven't examined yet and
one thing you haven't examined yet and it's going back to the Beast going back
it's going back to the Beast going back to the demon so when I went back to him
to the demon so when I went back to him I realized that that was the unsolved
I realized that that was the unsolved mystery was I had to look that man the
mystery was I had to look that man the eye one more
eye one more time like how I studied the that Navy
time like how I studied the that Navy SEAL talking [ __ ] and lion I got it from
SEAL talking [ __ ] and lion I got it from this part right here in the book I went
this part right here in the book I went and I didn't see him any any more as
and I didn't see him any any more as this
this Beast I started doing research on him
Beast I started doing research on him found out that his dad used to beat him
found out that his dad used to beat him really bad so my his his dad would put
really bad so my his his dad would put him in front of a
him in front of a furnace open the furnace up with the
furnace open the furnace up with the Flames coming out and put him right in
Flames coming out and put him right in front of it have him bare but naked and
front of it have him bare but naked and he would whip the [ __ ] out of him and
he would whip the [ __ ] out of him and the whole idea of that is if you move
the whole idea of that is if you move you're going to get burned so stay right
you're going to get burned so stay right here and take your [ __ ] beat
here and take your [ __ ] beat so what happened with
so what happened with him those demons from his father went to
him those demons from his father went to my father and he tried to transfer him
my father and he tried to transfer him over to me I had to understand who my
over to me I had to understand who my father was understand where he came from
father was understand where he came from understand why were you so [ __ ]
understand why were you so [ __ ] brutal to
brutal to us I got my answers took those answers
us I got my answers took those answers and made myself better from the ansers
and made myself better from the ansers about him and so that's why it was
about him and so that's why it was necessary for me to go back not I was
necessary for me to go back not I was looking for an AP ology so then maybe I
looking for an AP ology so then maybe I could just go be a loser and understand
could just go be a loser and understand that you [ __ ] me up why would the
that you [ __ ] me up why would the apology make you a loser it would make
apology make you a loser it would make no it would make me feel Vindicated
no it would make me feel Vindicated Justified yes like man you you did this
Justified yes like man you you did this to me I can go be a loser now my
to me I can go be a loser now my failings are okay this okay yep because
failings are okay this okay yep because you did this so I was looking for that
you did this so I was looking for that and when I went there I I realized
and when I went there I I realized because his voice in him was saying it's
because his voice in him was saying it's not your dad's
not your dad's fault and I'm like n a man because this
fault and I'm like n a man because this voice over here always said it's your
voice over here always said it's your dad's fault this other voice started
dad's fault this other voice started tuning in was loud started getting
tuning in was loud started getting louder the more I drove to Buffalo was
louder the more I drove to Buffalo was saying you got to face a lot of [ __ ]
saying you got to face a lot of [ __ ] young man you got a long journey ahead
young man you got a long journey ahead of you because you're gonna find out
of you because you're gonna find out that while your dad did a lot of [ __ ] to
that while your dad did a lot of [ __ ] to you you're gonna have to [ __ ] make it
you you're gonna have to [ __ ] make it on your own and the voice got louder and
on your own and the voice got louder and louder and louder and by time I got to
louder and louder and by time I got to that door and by time I was leaving that
that door and by time I was leaving that house instead of me feeling sorry for
house instead of me feeling sorry for myself I started to doing live
myself I started to doing live autopsy because a lot of people when you
autopsy because a lot of people when you die they figure out why you died they
die they figure out why you died they figure out how you died in the
figure out how you died in the autopsy but we never do live autopsy to
autopsy but we never do live autopsy to figure out why we're dying while we are
figure out why we're dying while we are alive and I was dying I was living every
alive and I was dying I was living every day but I was really dead and so I
day but I was really dead and so I figured it out and once I figured it out
figured it out and once I figured it out I was able to reborn I was able to be
I was able to reborn I was able to be reborn
reborn what we see is this pattern of
what we see is this pattern of generational trauma your grandfather to
generational trauma your grandfather to your father your father to you father to
your father your father to you father to son just being passed on passed on
son just being passed on passed on passed on is this part of your mission
passed on is this part of your mission to be a circuit breaker to be a a dam to
to be a circuit breaker to be a a dam to stop this Trauma from moving forward
stop this Trauma from moving forward into the Next Generation 100% but with
into the Next Generation 100% but with people I'm trying to build people up I'm
people I'm trying to build people up I'm trying to armor their mind I'm trying to
trying to armor their mind I'm trying to get the the belief because this world we
get the the belief because this world we live in is tough it's tough it will beat
live in is tough it's tough it will beat you down the world and the life that we
you down the world and the life that we live in is the ultimate competitor it
live in is the ultimate competitor it will try to take you out it will it will
will try to take you out it will it will find your
find your weakness and it will [ __ ] just Hammer
weakness and it will [ __ ] just Hammer you it's like a personal curse 100% so
you it's like a personal curse 100% so if I can help you build belief build
if I can help you build belief build confidence to the point
confidence to the point where nothing can hurt you because you
where nothing can hurt you because you know exactly who you are you've faced
know exactly who you are you've faced your demons you've you've been able to
your demons you've you've been able to go on an audio book in your mind maybe
go on an audio book in your mind maybe you didn't write a book but in your mind
you didn't write a book but in your mind you were able to hear all your past
you were able to hear all your past traumas you were able to listen to them
traumas you were able to listen to them you're able to [ __ ] say okay now I
you're able to [ __ ] say okay now I can now talk to people about what I went
can now talk to people about what I went through I'm no longer embarrassed I'm no
through I'm no longer embarrassed I'm no longer ashamed being ashamed is one of
longer ashamed being ashamed is one of the biggest things that kill people
the biggest things that kill people nowadays in their minds kill them from
nowadays in their minds kill them from moving forward I'm ashamed of
moving forward I'm ashamed of myself don't ever be ashamed of anything
myself don't ever be ashamed of anything you've done in your life face it fix it
you've done in your life face it fix it make it
make it better we are
better we are humans but then again if you always
humans but then again if you always think that we're humans you will always
think that we're humans you will always just be a human and always make the same
just be a human and always make the same [ __ ]
[ __ ] mistakes you must take this knowledge
mistakes you must take this knowledge that you learn from all this [ __ ] is
that you learn from all this [ __ ] is knowledge so I'm just trying to give
knowledge so I'm just trying to give people that strength to go in the
people that strength to go in the archives of your life because while
archives of your life because while you're probably [ __ ] up it's probably
you're probably [ __ ] up it's probably something happened to you in your life
something happened to you in your life go through the archives dig it up
go through the archives dig it up study it and then use it for yourself
study it and then use it for yourself that's that's the main purpose for me
that's that's the main purpose for me right now have you considered what you
right now have you considered what you would be like as a
would be like as a father yeah I actually have a daughter
father yeah I actually have a daughter right
right now yeah no way I didn't know yeah I
now yeah no way I didn't know yeah I have a daughter right now but that being
have a daughter right now but that being said I'm an open honest person when you
said I'm an open honest person when you meet people at a young age so I had a
meet people at a young age so I had a kid at a young age when I was in the
kid at a young age when I was in the worst possible place in my life
worst possible place in my life so when you're in a bad place you're not
so when you're in a bad place you're not going to meet a
going to meet a Kish you're going to meet a person
Kish you're going to meet a person that's very similar to who you are at
that's very similar to who you are at that time and then you bring a child
that time and then you bring a child into this world and as you start to move
into this world and as you start to move up in this world and get better and you
up in this world and get better and you realize I need to get better you try to
realize I need to get better you try to pull that person along with you a lot of
pull that person along with you a lot of times they don't want to come where
times they don't want to come where you're going and it creates a bad
you're going and it creates a bad environment
environment so that's where that is right
so that's where that is right now talking but my daughter's 21 years
now talking but my daughter's 21 years old though wow yeah I'm glad to hear
old though wow yeah I'm glad to hear that I think I I think that uh it would
that I think I I think that uh it would be all of the learnings and stuff that
be all of the learnings and stuff that you've been through as a father as a son
you've been through as a father as a son as a grandson um it makes sense to me
as a grandson um it makes sense to me that that would have been a something
that that would have been a something that could have been passed down mhm so
that could have been passed down mhm so thinking about uh trauma and stuff that
thinking about uh trauma and stuff that you go through in your past um
you go through in your past um throughout most of school for me I was
throughout most of school for me I was pretty isolated only child uh pretty
pretty isolated only child uh pretty unpopular in school and the main issue
unpopular in school and the main issue that I had
that I had was it wasn't bullying it was isolation
was it wasn't bullying it was isolation I think it was being lonely right um and
I think it was being lonely right um and that was primarily what was causing me
that was primarily what was causing me to be sad throughout school right so I
to be sad throughout school right so I do this interview for the BBC about six
do this interview for the BBC about six months ago and uh in it I talk about I
months ago and uh in it I talk about I haven't opened up that much about
haven't opened up that much about bullying I I need to to do it more and
bullying I I need to to do it more and it is you know even from watching you go
it is you know even from watching you go through opening up about your traumas it
through opening up about your traumas it is inspiring uh so I do this interview
is inspiring uh so I do this interview for the BBC and I mention a little bit
for the BBC and I mention a little bit about bullying in school and so why
about bullying in school and so why don't you mention
don't you mention it I haven't got around to it yet I I
it I haven't got around to it yet I I maybe still feel like
maybe still feel like it detracts from the man that I want to
it detracts from the man that I want to be the masculine man the um respected
be the masculine man the um respected podcaster that it somehow undermines me
podcaster that it somehow undermines me as a person that it makes me weaker
as a person that it makes me weaker which is obviously what was you know
which is obviously what was you know part of the bullying's purpose in school
part of the bullying's purpose in school to be able to do precisely that right so
to be able to do precisely that right so I do this interview for the BBC and I
I do this interview for the BBC and I mentioned in two paragraphs or something
mentioned in two paragraphs or something but millions of people see this article
but millions of people see this article uh and I get back one day and in my
uh and I get back one day and in my Instagram message requests is this
Instagram message requests is this message from a guy and I kind of
message from a guy and I kind of recognize his name but not not fully and
recognize his name but not not fully and I don't know whether you know but
I don't know whether you know but there's like a character limit in
there's like a character limit in Instagram so and this is five character
Instagram so and this is five character limit messages long with multiple
limit messages long with multiple paragraphs within each of them right so
paragraphs within each of them right so I open it up uh and this guy says uh hi
I open it up uh and this guy says uh hi Chris you might not remember me but we
Chris you might not remember me but we went to school together uh I bullied
went to school together uh I bullied you my daughter is four and she's about
you my daughter is four and she's about to go to school and given that she's
to go to school and given that she's about to go to school me and my wife
about to go to school me and my wife have been discussing about the kind of
have been discussing about the kind of child that we want her to be and that
child that we want her to be and that caused me to reflect on my time that I
caused me to reflect on my time that I spent in
spent in school I saw I've been thinking about
school I saw I've been thinking about messaging you for a while I've been
messaging you for a while I've been considering talking to you uh because I
considering talking to you uh because I really felt like I needed to because I
really felt like I needed to because I felt ashamed of the way that I treated
felt ashamed of the way that I treated you in school and I knew that it had
you in school and I knew that it had hurt you uh and then I saw this article
hurt you uh and then I saw this article from the BBC and I just had to reach out
from the BBC and I just had to reach out and I've been sleepless nights speaking
and I've been sleepless nights speaking to the wife tears and all the rest of it
to the wife tears and all the rest of it uh and I just wanted to say that I'm
uh and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry uh I'm very sorry for what I did
sorry uh I'm very sorry for what I did um I wanted to let you know that my
um I wanted to let you know that my daughter
daughter is going to be raised in a way that will
is going to be raised in a way that will never treat anybody like that again um I
never treat anybody like that again um I don't expect you to forgive me I don't
don't expect you to forgive me I don't even know if you'll see this message I'm
even know if you'll see this message I'm happy to see that you seem to be happy
happy to see that you seem to be happy um but I I needed to get it off my chest
um but I I needed to get it off my chest right I'm like [ __ ] totally taken a back
right I'm like [ __ ] totally taken a back like wasn't prepared for this I have
like wasn't prepared for this I have come back in from the gym or something
come back in from the gym or something and I'm sat reading this message like
and I'm sat reading this message like [ __ ] hell that's heavy so I go back
[ __ ] hell that's heavy so I go back through and I think well how do I feel
through and I think well how do I feel about this how do I feel about this
about this how do I feel about this person how do I feel about my experience
person how do I feel about my experience right um because it was so formative
right um because it was so formative right it shaped so much of the way that
right it shaped so much of the way that I see myself the way that I see the
I see myself the way that I see the world I had to
world I had to deprogram so much of the patterns that
deprogram so much of the patterns that I'd learned right through that time um
I'd learned right through that time um my desire for validation from other
my desire for validation from other people right U my need to be liked my
people right U my need to be liked my constant vigilance my ambient anxiety
constant vigilance my ambient anxiety that was always looking for what was
that was always looking for what was going on my concern of being left out y
going on my concern of being left out y my adamant uh that everybody was um able
my adamant uh that everybody was um able to judge something about me that I
to judge something about me that I didn't know about myself
didn't know about myself y but this guy had like fully fully
y but this guy had like fully fully opened up to me and I thought well you
opened up to me and I thought well you know it was beautiful it was a beautiful
know it was beautiful it was a beautiful message um so I replied to him and I
message um so I replied to him and I said hey man um I very much appreciate
said hey man um I very much appreciate you reaching out I think it's an
you reaching out I think it's an incredibly Brave thing to do and
incredibly Brave thing to do and if me going through what I went through
if me going through what I went through and then the pain and discomfort and
and then the pain and discomfort and such and your subsequent suffering of
such and your subsequent suffering of reflecting on what you did MH if that
reflecting on what you did MH if that has led to a world in which your
has led to a world in which your daughter will be the sort of person who
daughter will be the sort of person who will behave in a manner that's going to
will behave in a manner that's going to make the world a better place going
make the world a better place going forward I think that's a price that's
forward I think that's a price that's worth paying that's awesome man that's
worth paying that's awesome man that's that's a great story that's a great
that's a great story that's a great story and you're the you're the expert
story and you're the you're the expert on it
on it that's why you should talk about
that's why you should talk about bullying I know yeah you're the expert
bullying I know yeah you're the expert and that's why I do it you know um
and that's why I do it you know um that's why I become I i' I've become so
that's why I become I i' I've become so vulnerable because all that knowledge
vulnerable because all that knowledge you gain because now you are
you gain because now you are successful and there's so many people
successful and there's so many people who are getting bullied in so many
who are getting bullied in so many ways that you know you just show them
ways that you know you just show them that there's a path but the path is
that there's a path but the path is really like I talk about studying the
really like I talk about studying the the
the bully that's the path studying the bully
bully that's the path studying the bully were you ever tempted to become a bully
were you ever tempted to become a bully never never I'm always like I said like
never never I'm always like I said like I told you before this started I wanted
I told you before this started I wanted to be a priest I want to be a priest you
to be a priest I want to be a priest you know and um could you imagine one of
know and um could you imagine one of those sermons oh it'd be sick because I
those sermons oh it'd be sick because I because I would cuss because I would I
because I would cuss because I would I would definitely cuss praise the Lord
would definitely cuss praise the Lord [ __ ] that's it I would
[ __ ] that's it I would definitely cuss I would definitely cuss
definitely cuss I would definitely cuss man because that's that's the world and
man because that's that's the world and there's a lot of people hear this like
there's a lot of people hear this like oh my God that's this is oh my God let
oh my God that's this is oh my God let me close my ear you know this the
me close my ear you know this the world's
world's tough the world's tough and when you
tough the world's tough and when you come up the way I came up the only way I
come up the way I came up the only way I can [ __ ] describe something sometimes
can [ __ ] describe something sometimes to say [ __ ] a [ __ ] because
to say [ __ ] a [ __ ] because that's how dark this [ __ ]
that's how dark this [ __ ] was and I can't make it flowery I can't
was and I can't make it flowery I can't make it PG like oh I want my kids to
make it PG like oh I want my kids to like I have a clean edition of this book
like I have a clean edition of this book have oh you have a non-explicit version
have oh you have a non-explicit version yes because people like I want my I want
yes because people like I want my I want my kid to read your book but you but you
my kid to read your book but you but you cuss so much I can't I imagine it's
cuss so much I can't I imagine it's about half the size yes it's very small
about half the size yes it's very small yes so so the funny thing about it is
yes so so the funny thing about it is like how long are you going to shelter
like how long are you going to shelter your child from a world that's evil as
your child from a world that's evil as [ __ ] that's going to come at you it's
[ __ ] that's going to come at you it's going to come at you whether you've been
going to come at you whether you've been bullied or not there's going to come a
bullied or not there's going to come a time
time when it's going to come at you and it's
when it's going to come at you and it's G to be a lot worse than [ __ ] or
G to be a lot worse than [ __ ] or [ __ ] it's G to be a lot worse and
[ __ ] it's G to be a lot worse and so we are training kids and people to be
so we are training kids and people to be soft in a world that continuously gets
soft in a world that continuously gets harder and it doesn't it doesn't
harder and it doesn't it doesn't correlate like that guy talking about
correlate like that guy talking about the tear gas with the seals is that
the tear gas with the seals is that necessary I don't know but what is
necessary I don't know but what is necessary is you have to build a person
necessary is you have to build a person that can withstand the pressures of
that can withstand the pressures of whatever they're going to be dealing
whatever they're going to be dealing with in
with in life and we don't do that I'm not trying
life and we don't do that I'm not trying to send a message of run 200 miles be
to send a message of run 200 miles be the bad [ __ ] in the world but be
the bad [ __ ] in the world but be tough you better have a part about you
tough you better have a part about you that's tough a part about you that can
that's tough a part about you that can break down situations and get better and
break down situations and get better and break down situations very quickly
break down situations very quickly within some trauma in your life some
within some trauma in your life some Devastation in your life because it's
Devastation in your life because it's going to come the devastation the trauma
going to come the devastation the trauma is going to come and you can't allow
is going to come and you can't allow that to become a jersey barrier it can't
that to become a jersey barrier it can't be a jersey barrier it has to be
be a jersey barrier it has to be something that you can maneuver through
something that you can maneuver through very quickly and move forward that takes
very quickly and move forward that takes a lot of toughness well unchosen
a lot of toughness well unchosen suffering is going to happen right so
suffering is going to happen right so the only thing that you can do is have
the only thing that you can do is have some chosen suffering to prepare for it
some chosen suffering to prepare for it it's the only thing you can do that's
it's the only thing you can do that's the only thing you can practice for the
the only thing you can practice for the unchosen suffering is have chosen
unchosen suffering is have chosen suffering do something that's sucks
suffering do something that's sucks every day I had hubman on the show a few
every day I had hubman on the show a few months ago and he told me about bringing
months ago and he told me about bringing you into his lab and putting you in VR
you into his lab and putting you in VR underwater with sharks right give me
underwater with sharks right give me your experience with huberman he's great
your experience with huberman he's great he he knows his stuff he knows his stuff
he he knows his stuff he knows his stuff um yeah he's just a he's a very
um yeah he's just a he's a very knowledgeable man on what he's doing
knowledgeable man on what he's doing what's being in VR with sharks like it's
what's being in VR with sharks like it's nothing no no no because one thing about
nothing no no no because one thing about me is I deal in
me is I deal in reality you put me in VR as VR it's a
reality you put me in VR as VR it's a fake thing and I work in reality I only
fake thing and I work in reality I only work in reality I don't work in fake
work in reality I don't work in fake situations so that's why it didn't work
situations so that's why it didn't work on me you put me in a real ocean with
on me you put me in a real ocean with real sharks you'll get your real
real sharks you'll get your real reaction you put me in a room that I
reaction you put me in a room that I when you walk in the
when you walk in the door and you sit down in the chair and
door and you sit down in the chair and you put some [ __ ] on your [ __ ] face I
you put some [ __ ] on your [ __ ] face I know I'm in a [ __ ] chair I know I'm
know I'm in a [ __ ] chair I know I'm in a room if you get that psyched the
in a room if you get that psyched the [ __ ] out you need to study that more
[ __ ] out you need to study that more than that you know what I'm saying yeah
than that you know what I'm saying yeah why are you so sensitive why you so if
why are you so sensitive why you so if you are on a high wire because you're
you are on a high wire because you're afraid of heights but you're sitting
afraid of heights but you're sitting firmly on the [ __ ] ground you need to
firmly on the [ __ ] ground you need to study the fact that you're doing
study the fact that you're doing something wrong don't study the freight
something wrong don't study the freight of heights study why the [ __ ] do I know
of heights study why the [ __ ] do I know I'm on the [ __ ] ground in a [ __ ]
I'm on the [ __ ] ground in a [ __ ] chair but I'm afraid of what's on this
chair but I'm afraid of what's on this screen so I don't allow anything to go
screen so I don't allow anything to go beyond the truth he said that um
beyond the truth he said that um obviously you didn't know this in
obviously you didn't know this in advance it could have been the most
advance it could have been the most lifelike VR in the history of the world
lifelike VR in the history of the world and apparently it was a group of you
and apparently it was a group of you guys and someone had to go first someone
guys and someone had to go first someone had to go first you're not that good
had to go first you're not that good with water not sure how you feel about
with water not sure how you feel about sharks but can't imagine you're a fan
sharks but can't imagine you're a fan um and you would just like
um and you would just like me me please I'm first yeah I'm like
me me please I'm first yeah I'm like that with
that with everything because why I sit back in the
everything because why I sit back in the back and think about let me watch you go
back and think about let me watch you go first you can watch me go first is there
first you can watch me go first is there anything that you'd like to study with
anything that you'd like to study with huberman would there be any like cool
huberman would there be any like cool tests is there anything that you've been
tests is there anything that you've been thinking about to do with performance or
thinking about to do with performance or anything like that at the moment no
anything like that at the moment no you've just got your own mental lab
you've just got your own mental lab you're doing everything lab every
you're doing everything lab every everything I need is in my mental lab
everything I need is in my mental lab everything because I'm in constant study
everything because I'm in constant study of
of myself that's and I know what needs to
myself that's and I know what needs to be conquered because I'm constantly
be conquered because I'm constantly going through what I don't like what I'm
going through what I don't like what I'm not comfortable with you know like I'm I
not comfortable with you know like I'm I know and only I can fix these problems
know and only I can fix these problems because I have to face these problems so
because I have to face these problems so I have a rolling a rolling log on what
I have a rolling a rolling log on what needs to happen so I'm I'm really good
needs to happen so I'm I'm really good about being accountable about okay you
about being accountable about okay you need to be better here you need be
need to be better here you need be better here you need to overcome this
better here you need to overcome this overcome that and I do a good job of
overcome that and I do a good job of doing that you talk about performance
doing that you talk about performance without a purpose M what's
without a purpose M what's that so like for instance let's say you
that so like for instance let's say you have no races let's say you have no
have no races let's say you have no classes no nothing you have there's no
classes no nothing you have there's no purpose in your life you know people
purpose in your life you know people need to have purpose to get up they need
need to have purpose to get up they need purpose to
purpose to perform you need to get to a point in
perform you need to get to a point in your life where there's nothing on the
your life where there's nothing on the docket there's no 5K there's no there's
docket there's no 5K there's no there's no um I'm going to get into school to be
no um I'm going to get into school to be this or that and still perform to the
this or that and still perform to the highest level because what people don't
highest level because what people don't get is one day that thing's going to
get is one day that thing's going to come up and if you're not constantly
come up and if you're not constantly performing without purpose you're not
performing without purpose you're not going to be ready when the time
going to be ready when the time comes it's this magical thing purpose
comes it's this magical thing purpose that we're all looking for but what's
that we're all looking for but what's funny about it all is that we need these
funny about it all is that we need these things to perform
things to perform but we don't take a second to realize
but we don't take a second to realize the purpose is always there the purpose
the purpose is always there the purpose never leaves us because the very purpose
never leaves us because the very purpose is you you are always the purpose there
is you you are always the purpose there may be another purpose like being a seal
may be another purpose like being a seal or going to college or whatever but the
or going to college or whatever but the main purpose in life is you so if you
main purpose in life is you so if you wake up in the morning and you don't
wake up in the morning and you don't want to do
want to do something you don't care enough about
something you don't care enough about yourself and that's what you need to
yourself and that's what you need to really research is man why am I not
really research is man why am I not doing this for myself because that is
doing this for myself because that is that is the number one purpose in life
that is the number one purpose in life is to better
is to better oneself so that's the only purpose I
oneself so that's the only purpose I [ __ ] need so the reason I get up
[ __ ] need so the reason I get up every day even though there's no race or
every day even though there's no race or there's no school there's nothing in
there's no school there's nothing in front of me is because I have pride in
front of me is because I have pride in myself but where do you go to you wake
myself but where do you go to you wake up on the morning it's cold it's wet
up on the morning it's cold it's wet it's dark you've got no cartilage in
it's dark you've got no cartilage in your knee you've got shitty shorts
your knee you've got shitty shorts whatever it is that's the issue today
whatever it is that's the issue today keep
keep talking you've got these problems right
talking you've got these problems right I need you to keep talking about what
I need you to keep talking about what you were just saying it's warm on the
you were just saying it's warm on the couch your M say stay in bed it's comfy
couch your M say stay in bed it's comfy it's cozy you've got work later on you
it's cozy you've got work later on you had an argument last night you're
had an argument last night you're slightly hung over because I know every
slightly hung over because I know every [ __ ] ain't gonna do what I'm
[ __ ] ain't gonna do what I'm gonna do so this is how you level up
gonna do so this is how you level up that's how you level up I know there's a
that's how you level up I know there's a whole bunch of people with that right
whole bunch of people with that right there that fires me up that makes me
there that fires me up that makes me [ __ ] happy what you just said that
[ __ ] happy what you just said that brings joy to my life right there why
brings joy to my life right there why because I know there's so many people
because I know there's so many people that have the ability and just refuse to
that have the ability and just refuse to get off that couch refuse to study a few
get off that couch refuse to study a few more hours refuse to go deeper to go
more hours refuse to go deeper to go further and that's where I gained the
further and that's where I gained the advantage it's so easy to be great
advantage it's so easy to be great nowadays my friend because most people
nowadays my friend because most people are weak most people don't want to go to
are weak most people don't want to go to that extra mile most people don't want
that extra mile most people don't want to find that extra cuz it sucks it's
to find that extra cuz it sucks it's miserable it's lonely you talk about
miserable it's lonely you talk about that you were kind of you know Lonely by
that you were kind of you know Lonely by yourself I was the same way and that
yourself I was the same way and that used to hurt me growing up now I [ __ ]
used to hurt me growing up now I [ __ ] thrive in that [ __ ] that's the only
thrive in that [ __ ] that's the only place to be well that was one of the
place to be well that was one of the things that is so surprising about
things that is so surprising about growing up through difficulty you know
growing up through difficulty you know so loneliness is one example right
so loneliness is one example right growing up as a lonely kid what you
growing up as a lonely kid what you realize is lot of the things that you
realize is lot of the things that you feared or hated or embarrassed about as
feared or hated or embarrassed about as a child end up being the Genesis of the
a child end up being the Genesis of the things that you're most proud about as
things that you're most proud about as an adult so the fact that you can work
an adult so the fact that you can work and thrive in solitude gives you the
and thrive in solitude gives you the opportunity to be able to move to
opportunity to be able to move to America and start a podcast or decide to
America and start a podcast or decide to do hell week three times in a row or it
do hell week three times in a row or it doesn't matter how long or dark the
doesn't matter how long or dark the course is you're just going to stay MH
course is you're just going to stay MH the fact that you were uh forced to be
the fact that you were uh forced to be VI
VI and to assess people to work out what's
and to assess people to work out what's going on when you became an adult allows
going on when you became an adult allows you to detect the vibe and the energy of
you to detect the vibe and the energy of whoever it is that you're speaking with
whoever it is that you're speaking with and know that this person is someone
and know that this person is someone that I want to hang with and this
that I want to hang with and this person's somebody that I don't right all
person's somebody that I don't right all of the things in fact I would go as far
of the things in fact I would go as far as to say there's not one thing in my
as to say there's not one thing in my life that I see as a pure advantage that
life that I see as a pure advantage that doesn't have a dark side to it that came
doesn't have a dark side to it that came about at some other point as well right
about at some other point as well right so one of the reasons that I spent so
so one of the reasons that I spent so much time as a kid in my bedroom
much time as a kid in my bedroom listening to audio tapes because I
listening to audio tapes because I didn't have anyone to play with right
didn't have anyone to play with right only child little bit sort of unpopular
only child little bit sort of unpopular right so I'd be in my bedroom listening
right so I'd be in my bedroom listening to audio tapes and we go to the library
to audio tapes and we go to the library every two weeks and we'd take the tapes
every two weeks and we'd take the tapes back and we get new tapes and i' bring
back and we get new tapes and i' bring them and listen to them again right but
them and listen to them again right but you roll the clock forward 20 years and
you roll the clock forward 20 years and what's the 2023 version of an audio tape
what's the 2023 version of an audio tape it's a podcast it's a podcast that's
it's a podcast it's a podcast that's right A lot of the things that you love
right A lot of the things that you love and value in yourself in adulthood are
and value in yourself in adulthood are the light side of something that you
the light side of something that you were ashamed fearful disgusted by when
were ashamed fearful disgusted by when you were younger yeah I mean I think
you were younger yeah I mean I think that comes from
that comes from overcoming a lot of people you know
overcoming a lot of people you know wonder how did you become this how you
wonder how did you become this how you become so vulnerable how you how are you
become so vulnerable how you how are you doing a podcast now when you were this
doing a podcast now when you were this kid you overcame things you fought them
kid you overcame things you fought them and now this is what happens this is on
and now this is what happens this is on the other side of
the other side of overcoming it Bec you become very very
overcoming it Bec you become very very powerful when you overcome yourself all
powerful when you overcome yourself all those things you once cowed from you
those things you once cowed from you were afraid of when you face him eye to
were afraid of when you face him eye to eye every day you now become a person
eye every day you now become a person who has a great
who has a great podcast let's say that there's someone
podcast let's say that there's someone listening who resonates with what you're
listening who resonates with what you're talking about you know they've been
talking about you know they've been through trauma they've been through hard
through trauma they've been through hard times but they keep breaking promises to
times but they keep breaking promises to themselves and they're struggling to get
themselves and they're struggling to get off the couch and they're having a pity
off the couch and they're having a pity party MH how can they stop feeling sorry
party MH how can they stop feeling sorry for themselves
for themselves that's a difficult
that's a difficult one because you have to want it you have
one because you have to want it you have to want to be better and it starts off
to want to be better and it starts off with you have to have pride in
with you have to have pride in yourself you you have to have pride in
yourself you you have to have pride in yourself you have to have there's
yourself you have to have there's something about you whether it's your
something about you whether it's your last name whether it's just the smallest
last name whether it's just the smallest thing you have to be proud of yourself
thing you have to be proud of yourself and if you have no pride in yourself I
and if you have no pride in yourself I can't give it to you because you're
can't give it to you because you're always going to compromise you're fold
always going to compromise you're fold always I'm very proud of myself that's
always I'm very proud of myself that's why when people said you no way you can
why when people said you no way you can do better than can't hurt
do better than can't hurt me Roger that we'll [ __ ] see it's
me Roger that we'll [ __ ] see it's that Pride that wakes you up now I'm not
that Pride that wakes you up now I'm not talking about bad
talking about bad Pride I I'm the attention to detail for
Pride I I'm the attention to detail for the human being I want to do I call this
the human being I want to do I call this thing like I want to be the standard I
thing like I want to be the standard I want to be that guy like every place I
want to be that guy like every place I went in the military there was this
went in the military there was this ethos
ethos about how this place is how we're going
about how this place is how we're going to live how we're going to represent
to live how we're going to represent ourselves and I walked around and I saw
ourselves and I walked around and I saw that most people didn't live up to that
that most people didn't live up to that ethos like if you go to whatever
ethos like if you go to whatever whatever company they they had this
whatever company they they had this mission statement on how we want to run
mission statement on how we want to run our
our company I made one for
company I made one for myself on how I want to be and that is
myself on how I want to be and that is why if people can make up a mission
why if people can make up a mission statement an ethos and which they want
statement an ethos and which they want to live by and every morning you wake up
to live by and every morning you wake up you hold yourself accountable to that
you hold yourself accountable to that mission not a company is your own make
mission not a company is your own make up your own mission statement what do
up your own mission statement what do you want to be in life and once you do
you want to be in life and once you do that now you can work with somebody to
that now you can work with somebody to get better you can work with yourself to
get better you can work with yourself to get better but until you know what you
get better but until you know what you want to stand for you will always just
want to stand for you will always just be sitting down you'll never stand for
be sitting down you'll never stand for anything what's that quote if you don't
anything what's that quote if you don't stand for uh something you'll fall for
stand for uh something you'll fall for everything that's it it's a true
everything that's it it's a true statement in the book you talk about uh
statement in the book you talk about uh Roger that there being two types of
Roger that there being two types of Roger that I absolutely adore the second
Roger that I absolutely adore the second type uh received orders given expect
type uh received orders given expect results that's it that's it so cool
results that's it that's it so cool above and beyond more than was expected
above and beyond more than was expected to the letter that's Roger that that is
to the letter that's Roger that that is for me what Roger that means received
for me what Roger that means received orders given yep expect results expect
orders given yep expect results expect results that's right so [ __ ] dope
results that's right so [ __ ] dope that is it that is it and when you hear
that is it that is it and when you hear that from somebody who gets it you know
that from somebody who gets it you know it because you can look in their eyes
it because you can look in their eyes you feel that energy man it connects
you feel that energy man it connects immediately they're out here to get a
immediately they're out here to get a job done Roger
job done Roger that
that so the start of the book or at least the
so the start of the book or at least the start of the audio book you've got a few
start of the audio book you've got a few different intros right uh Rogan yep your
different intros right uh Rogan yep your mom mhm M and The Rock right uh slightly
mom mhm M and The Rock right uh slightly odd trifactor
odd trifactor but I do think it works so obviously
but I do think it works so obviously your time Rogan's had you on now the
your time Rogan's had you on now the third time that you've been on what have
third time that you've been on what have you learned since being friends with him
you learned since being friends with him he's a very singular individual you know
he's a very singular individual you know what one thing about him is that he's
what one thing about him is that he's made it and he's all about everybody
made it and he's all about everybody else making
else making it there's one thing that he believes in
it there's one thing that he believes in is that there's enough food enough cake
is that there's enough food enough cake for everybody out here to eat so there's
for everybody out here to eat so there's a lot of people in this world who don't
a lot of people in this world who don't want to see you make it because they
want to see you make it because they think you could take a piece of their
think you could take a piece of their pie that motherfucker's like look dude
pie that motherfucker's like look dude pie for everybody I got 14 pies bro one
pie for everybody I got 14 pies bro one for every [ __ ] here and so he's
for every [ __ ] here and so he's all about people making it and that's
all about people making it and that's something that a lot of us can you know
something that a lot of us can you know learn from that people think oh I made
learn from that people think oh I made it I'm gonna hold on to it I'm not g to
it I'm gonna hold on to it I'm not g to help anybody else out the thing is I
help anybody else out the thing is I don't even know if he was uh something
don't even know if he was uh something tells me he had that philosophy before
tells me he had that philosophy before he'd even made it yeah as he was on the
he'd even made it yeah as he was on the come up yeah I mean I really didn't know
come up yeah I mean I really didn't know him that much back then but um the he
him that much back then but um the he really is to
really is to me the Oprah of the modern day he's the
me the Oprah of the modern day he's the Oprah of the modern day you know that
Oprah of the modern day you know that that guy just has made so many people
that guy just has made so many people known to the world gotten so many
known to the world gotten so many messages out so yeah I said uh I was
messages out so yeah I said uh I was talking to Andrew Schultz about the same
talking to Andrew Schultz about the same thing and he said very similar sentiment
thing and he said very similar sentiment especially he's coming from a comedy uh
especially he's coming from a comedy uh angle right and if you're going to be
angle right and if you're going to be championed in comedy it's super super
championed in comedy it's super super difficult right and what he what he said
difficult right and what he what he said was that uh the comedy world is so zeros
was that uh the comedy world is so zeros some like your gig is not my gig and the
some like your gig is not my gig and the fact that you can have someone that just
fact that you can have someone that just gives that gift out is very rare another
gives that gift out is very rare another friend his wife does iic medicine so
friend his wife does iic medicine so it's I'm not really too sure what it is
it's I'm not really too sure what it is but she did something to do with like
but she did something to do with like tarot card reading okay and he asked her
tarot card reading okay and he asked her he was about to go on Rogan's podcast so
he was about to go on Rogan's podcast so he asked her to do the tarot card
he asked her to do the tarot card readings about Joel because it might
readings about Joel because it might give him a little bit more insight or it
give him a little bit more insight or it would just be interesting in general and
would just be interesting in general and the tarot card that she pulls out might
the tarot card that she pulls out might not be tarot it be something similar the
not be tarot it be something similar the card that she pulled out was um a older
card that she pulled out was um a older Warrior cross-legged sat under a tree
Warrior cross-legged sat under a tree with his hands like that this guy did
with his hands like that this guy did he's got a weapon down next to him
he's got a weapon down next to him weapons laid down transcended the battle
weapons laid down transcended the battle and I was like holy [ __ ] I'm I'm not too
and I was like holy [ __ ] I'm I'm not too sure I'm not too sure about what's going
sure I'm not too sure about what's going on with this tarot card reading thing
on with this tarot card reading thing but that one seems pretty accurate it's
but that one seems pretty accurate it's probably perfect for him yeah yeah yeah
probably perfect for him yeah yeah yeah there's something about
there's something about um raising other people up as you go
um raising other people up as you go along oh yeah that you know as you get a
along oh yeah that you know as you get a platform as you have the opportunity to
platform as you have the opportunity to expose other people that are almost all
expose other people that are almost all of your time as a podcaster is slip
of your time as a podcaster is slip streaming other people who have bigger
streaming other people who have bigger platforms and then after a while you get
platforms and then after a while you get to the stage where you can be that
to the stage where you can be that springboard for others right some
springboard for others right some unbelievably talented person that nobody
unbelievably talented person that nobody knows about true statement there you go
knows about true statement there you go now the world can know about you he's
now the world can know about you he's done the best at that he's the best at
done the best at that he's the best at that what about the rock if you Haven
that what about the rock if you Haven met him you ever trained with him never
met him you ever trained with him never never we just
never we just dm'd and I was like I'm GNA give you a
dm'd and I was like I'm GNA give you a shot in the dark you know the guy
shot in the dark you know the guy follows me he knows about me whatever I
follows me he knows about me whatever I was like this guy's so big man he ain't
was like this guy's so big man he ain't G [ __ ] it so I D in man within like 20
G [ __ ] it so I D in man within like 20 minutes hey man what's up brother sends
minutes hey man what's up brother sends me a voice message in DM been following
me a voice message in DM been following your work man love what you [ __ ] do
your work man love what you [ __ ] do blah blah blah blah blah oh yeah no
blah blah blah blah blah oh yeah no problem man I'll I'll hook you up I'll
problem man I'll I'll hook you up I'll be more than honor to hook you up and in
be more than honor to hook you up and in the audio book what people don't know is
the audio book what people don't know is I left him alone I was like hey man
I left him alone I was like hey man thank you I appreciate it I want to
thank you I appreciate it I want to bother you go back to doing the great
bother you go back to doing the great work that you do you're so busy so I was
work that you do you're so busy so I was doing the audio book he was like Hey
doing the audio book he was like Hey brother you want me to um you know read
brother you want me to um you know read what I wrote for you for the Audi book
what I wrote for you for the Audi book and I was like
and I was like yeah that's great that's how the idea
yeah that's great that's how the idea came about it was actually The Rock's
came about it was actually The Rock's idea for him to do the blurb so then I
idea for him to do the blurb so then I got Joe Rogan and I got my mom to read
got Joe Rogan and I got my mom to read the blurs so that came from him I wasn't
the blurs so that came from him I wasn't G to put the blurbs in the audio book
G to put the blurbs in the audio book but he was like hey man I got a studio
but he was like hey man I got a studio right here I'll blast it out send it
right here I'll blast it out send it over to you and we'll get it done that's
over to you and we'll get it done that's a training session that the world wants
a training session that the world wants to
to see I believe so I believe so
see I believe so I believe so that should be part of the book tour
that should be part of the book tour should be a training a training session
should be a training a training session between you guys talk me through what
between you guys talk me through what the next phase of your life has in store
the next phase of your life has in store um so after this podcast I probably
um so after this podcast I probably won't do another one for a very long
won't do another one for a very long time and I did my book came out on the
time and I did my book came out on the 6th it's now the 16th I did my 10 days
6th it's now the 16th I did my 10 days of the book and now it's done and now
of the book and now it's done and now it's going back to the lab so now I go
it's going back to the lab so now I go back go back to firefighting go back to
back go back to firefighting go back to finding another level of David gogins
finding another level of David gogins and that's
and that's done in quiet areas and finding more of
done in quiet areas and finding more of myself finding these these spaces I
myself finding these these spaces I haven't you know discovered yet in my
haven't you know discovered yet in my mind and I really love that about life I
mind and I really love that about life I love mastering
love mastering self I love it I love it there there
self I love it I love it there there there's nothing more because I know
there's nothing more because I know where I came from and it's amazing that
where I came from and it's amazing that where I came from that person could have
where I came from that person could have died that
died that very fat lazy unfulfilled person and
very fat lazy unfulfilled person and with inside that person was this person
with inside that person was this person talking to you is very freaky to me and
talking to you is very freaky to me and a lot of us have these two people that
a lot of us have these two people that you have greatness way over here but you
you have greatness way over here but you decide to live in this space over here
decide to live in this space over here because between greatness or between
because between greatness or between this space here and greatness there's a
this space here and greatness there's a lot of [ __ ] work there's so much
lot of [ __ ] work there's so much space to fill in with work and we just
space to fill in with work and we just say [ __ ] it I just stay over here in
say [ __ ] it I just stay over here in this space so I like to [ __ ] examine
this space so I like to [ __ ] examine all these spaces and there's there's
all these spaces and there's there's still more there's still more still a
still more there's still more still a lot more are you aiming to find peace at
lot more are you aiming to find peace at any point think about this I love that
any point think about this I love that question I'm glad you I'm so glad you
question I'm glad you I'm so glad you asked
asked it you you know a little bit about
it you you know a little bit about me when you've come from that place I
me when you've come from that place I talk about to the place of him now it's
talk about to the place of him now it's not the peace you find it's the peace I
not the peace you find it's the peace I find and I find so much peace in looking
find and I find so much peace in looking back at that young David 8 years old
back at that young David 8 years old with white splashes on his face and
with white splashes on his face and stuttering and hair patches falling out
stuttering and hair patches falling out and I look at him I'm like man there's
and I look at him I'm like man there's so much peace in knowing what I've
so much peace in knowing what I've accomplished and what I've done so my
accomplished and what I've done so my peace may be different for others that's
peace may be different for others that's why I never critique or never judge
why I never critique or never judge anyone because I don't know your story
anyone because I don't know your story where you come from I found peace years
where you come from I found peace years ago years
ago years ago in the battle in the battle you find
ago in the battle in the battle you find peace when you go to war with yourself
peace when you go to war with yourself you find a lot of Peace because you know
you find a lot of Peace because you know exactly who you are and that is where
exactly who you are and that is where the peace is really found for
the peace is really found for me David you're a spectacular individual
me David you're a spectacular individual I really really appreciate your time uh
I really really appreciate your time uh the book is fantastic your message is
the book is fantastic your message is fantastic uh I can't wait to see what
fantastic uh I can't wait to see what you do next even if it takes 5 years I
you do next even if it takes 5 years I appreciate it my friend thank you thanks
appreciate it my friend thank you thanks for having me thank you very much for
for having me thank you very much for tuning in I really hope that you enjoyed
tuning in I really hope that you enjoyed that episode with Goggins it has been
that episode with Goggins it has been six months in the making and it was a
six months in the making and it was a ton of fun if you did enjoy it then
ton of fun if you did enjoy it then don't forget to subscribe it really does
don't forget to subscribe it really does make a difference and press here to
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