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Spiritual Awake People Quit These 7 Things Slowly | Alan Watts 2025

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Summary

Core Theme

This content explores the process of "awakening" as a gradual shedding of inauthentic layers and a deeper recognition of one's true self, moving from a state of seeking and performance to one of presence, acceptance, and inherent completeness.

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Imagine a moment when you realize you

can no longer pretend. The masks you've

worn for decades suddenly feel

suffocating. The games everyone is

playing around you become painfully

obvious. The life you built with such

effort begins to feel like a prison made

of other people's expectations. You are

not depressed. You are waking up. And

with this awakening comes a slow,

inevitable shedding, a quitting of

everything that is not truly you. Not in

one dramatic leap, but gradually, piece

by piece, until one day you look back

and wonder how you ever lived any other

way. Awakening doesn't arrive like

lightning to strike you and change you

overnight. It seeps in like water

through stone. Slowly, imperceptibly,

it reshapes you. You find yourself

allergic to what once felt normal. Small

talk tastes like dust in your mouth.

Ambitions that used to drive you now

feel strangely hollow. Old identities

hang off you like clothes that no longer

fit. This is not something you decide.

It happens to you. Your very being

begins to reject falseeness the way the

body rejects poison. The question isn't

whether you will quit these things. The

question is only how gently you allow

the process to unfold. The first thing

you quit is the hunger for approval. You

may not even notice at first, but little

by little, the desire to be seen, liked,

validated begins to rot in your hands.

Where once you bent yourself into shapes

to please others, suddenly you can't.

The words won't come, the smile feels

forced, your body rebelss. It is not

rebellion out of anger. It is

transformation from within. Like a tree

whose roots finally reach deep water,

you no longer depend on the reign of

approval. And so slowly the performance

falls away and something far more

authentic takes its place. What replaces

this hunger is not arrogance, not

indifference, but a quiet sense of worth

that comes from simply being. You

realize you don't need to earn the right

to exist through applause or

recognition. You exist and that is

enough. It feels as though a compass has

been placed in your heart, one that

points true regardless of who is

watching. Approval becomes irrelevant

because you begin to taste a deeper nourishment,

nourishment,

inner authority. And though it feels

liberating, it can also feel lonely at

first. For a while, you're caught

between two worlds, no longer addicted

to approval, but not yet at ease without

it. Then

something curious happens. You quit the

need to be special. For much of life,

being special seemed important, to stand

out, to be unique, to be admired. And

yet, with awakening, this craving begins

to dissolve. You may notice yourself

growing quieter about your achievements,

less eager to announce your discoveries.

You stop weaving little performances to

make yourself seem deeper, wiser, more

conscious. At first this feels

frightening. If I am not special, then

who am I? But slowly you discover that

when the need to be special dies,

something extraordinary is born. You

become authentically yourself without

costumes. It is a paradox. The less you

try to stand out, the more radiant you become.

become.

Flowers do not bloom to impress the

passer by. They bloom because blooming

is their nature. And when you quit

performing specialness, your uniqueness

shines more brightly than ever. You are

no longer imprisoned by the exhausting

effort of appearing significant. You

discover the quiet freedom of being

ordinary. And in that ordinariness,

life itself becomes extraordinary. You

realize that to simply be is the

greatest miracle of all. And so the

weight of specialness, once so heavy,

slips from your shoulders and

disappears. Next comes a subtle but

profound shift. You quit the performance

of happiness. Not happiness itself, but

the endless act of pretending to be

happy, pretending to be positive,

pretending to be above pain. You no

longer have the energy to wear the mask

of eternal sunshine. You stop forcing

smiles when your heart is heavy. You

stop reciting affirmations you don't

believe. Awakening reveals that true

spirituality is not about being

endlessly cheerful. It is about being

real. Real enough to feel joy when joy

arises. Real enough to grieve when grief

is present. Real enough to let life flow

unmasked. At first, this may shock those

around you. They were used to your

performance. They counted on your mask.

But as you quit pretending, you discover

something astonishing.

Authenticity carries its own kind of

light. It is not the blinding glare of

forced positivity. It is the gentle glow

of truth. And this truth, even when it

includes sorrow, is more healing, more

inspiring than any false smile could

ever be. To quit the performance of

happiness is to reclaim your full

humanity. It is to give yourself

permission to live as the whole

unfiltered being you were always meant

to be. Then almost against your will,

you begin to quit the need for

certainty. where once you clung to fixed

beliefs, rigid identities, tidy explanations,

explanations,

you find yourself loosening your grip.

Certainty which once felt like safety

now feels like chains. You begin to

sense that life is not meant to be

pinned down. That truth is too alive to

be captured in words. At first, this

feels terrifying to not know who you

are, what will happen, or why life

unfolds as it does. But slowly, you

discover a peace that is deeper than

certainty. You discover wonder. You

discover mystery. To live without

certainty is to live as a child again,

with eyes wide open, astonished at the

unfolding of each moment. You realize

that not knowing is not a failure but a

doorway. That freedom lies not in

answers but in presence. The mind protests.

protests.

It wants to rebuild its walls of

knowledge. But each time you grip a

certainty, it dissolves until one day

you stop grasping altogether. And there

in the vast openness of not knowing, you

find yourself free. Life becomes a

dance, not a puzzle to solve. And every

step reveals its own quiet perfection.

As this unfolds,

another thing begins to die. Blame.

Slowly you quit blaming others, blaming

the world, even blaming yourself. Not

because harm never happened, but because

blame no longer serves you. You see that

holding on to blame is like drinking

poison and hoping the other will fall.

You begin to notice patterns.

How the same hurts repeat. How the same

roles play out. And instead of assigning

guilt, you ask, "What is life showing me

here? What is this pain pointing

toward?" You realize that every wound

carries a lesson and that blame blinds

you to the gift. Letting go of blame is

not easy. The ego resists. It wants to

stay righteous, wants to keep the story

alive. But awakening makes the story

transparent. You see through it, and

though you may still feel the sting of

hurt, you stop clinging to it. And in

that moment, an astonishing freedom

emerges. No one holds power over you

anymore. You become the author of your life.

life.

You see others, even those who wounded

you, not as enemies, but as mirrors.

They reflect your shadow, your unhealed

parts, your forgotten depths. In this

way, every conflict becomes a teacher.

And then comes one of the most subtle

shifts of all. You quit using

spirituality as an escape. You can no

longer hide behind meditation to avoid

your feelings or behind grand words to

avoid your wounds. Awakening pulls you

down into your body, into your humanity.

It demands that you stop bypassing your

experience and instead live it fully.

You find yourself allowing anger, sadness,

sadness, desire,

desire,

confusion, not as failures but as

essential colors in the painting of

existence. You quit trying to float

above life and instead plant your feet

firmly in it. Spirit and flesh become

one. This is not easy for the temptation

to escape remains.

But the soul will not allow it anymore.

When you try to run, your body rebelss.

When you try to bypass life places you

face to face with the very thing you

wanted to avoid until finally you

surrender. And in that surrender, you

discover something luminous. Being human

is not the obstacle to awakening. It is

the doorway. To embrace your humanity is

to embrace divinity. To feel your fear,

your longing, your grief is to touch the

living pulse of the universe. And this

is what spirituality truly means.

Eventually, you notice something else

dissolving. The isolation of awakening.

In the beginning, it may have felt like

you were alone, separated from the world

by your new awareness. Other people

seemed asleep, distant, difficult to

reach, and so you withdrew. But slowly

awakening softens even this. You quit

the idea that you are different,

separate, superior. You realize that in

truth you are deeply connected to

everyone. Not through sameness but

through shared humanity. You see

yourself in the stranger, in the asleep,

in the ordinary. And this recognition

dissolves the loneliness. You discover

community not in ideas but in presence.

To quit isolation is to open your heart

again, not in naive merging, but in

conscious connection. You can sit with

anyone, awake or asleep, and meet them

as they are. You no longer need to prove

yourself or protect yourself. You can

simply be with them. This perhaps is the

greatest fruit of awakening, the

rediscovery of love. Not the love of

romance or fantasy, but the love of

presence, of shared being. You realize

that when masks fall away, what remains

between us is always love. And that love

was what you sought all along. So what

is happening here? Piece by piece, you

are quitting everything false. The

hunger for approval, the need to be

special, the performance of happiness,

the clinging to certainty, the poison of

blame, the escape of bypassing, the

walls of isolation. Each falls away, not

because you reject it, but because you

can no longer carry it. It is too heavy,

too false, too small for who you are

becoming. And in their place, something

astonishing emerges. inner worth,

authentic uniqueness, genuine joy, peace

with mystery, freedom from stories, full

embodiment and conscious connection. At

first, this process feels like loss,

like death after death, identity after

identity crumbling away. But look closer

and you will see it is not loss but

liberation. Each quitting is a doorway

into deeper truth. Each shedding reveals

more of what you always were. You are

not losing yourself. You are finding

yourself. You are not dying. You are

being born again and again in every

moment. As what is false falls away,

what is real remains. And what is real

is simple, silent, present. It is you as

you are without masks, without

performance, without fear. The path of

awakening is not about adding layers of

wisdom but about peeling away everything

that is not true. It is not about

becoming someone better, but about

ceasing to be someone you are not.

Awakening is not an achievement. It is a

homecoming. And like all homecomings, it

happens slowly. You stumble. You

hesitate. You return to old habits only

to find they no longer satisfy. This is

not failure. This is growth. Like waves

on the shore, you move back and forth

until finally the tide has turned and

the old patterns are washed away. So if

you feel yourself quitting, quitting

approval, quitting specialness, quitting

performances, quitting certainty,

quitting blame, quitting escape,

quitting isolation. Trust the process.

Do not force it and do not resist it.

Let it unfold as it must. Let life peel

away what is no longer needed. The

quitting is not your doing. It is life

moving through you, shaping you into who

you truly are. And the more gently you

surrender, the more gracefully it

unfolds. Awakening is not a path you

walk. It is a current that carries you.

All you need to do is stop clinging.

Look at your own life now. Can you see

the signs? Can you feel the things that

once held you beginning to lose their

grip? The friendships you can no longer

maintain, the ambitions that no longer

excite you, the masks that no longer

fit. Do not fear these endings. They are

beginnings. Do not mourn what you are

quitting. Celebrate what is being

revealed. For beneath the false layers,

beneath the performances, beneath the

old stories, there weights a self so

luminous, so unshakable, so free that

once you taste it, you will never again

trade it for approval or certainty. This

then is the heart of awakening. It is

not about becoming someone new. It is

about no longer pretending to be someone

else. It is about quitting everything

that was never yours until only truth

remains. And truth does not need

applause or performance or certainty.

Truth does not blame or bypass or

isolate. Truth simply is. And when you

align with it, when you allow yourself

to live from it, you find that life

itself becomes lighter, simpler, more

fluid. You stop fighting the current and

discover that the river of existence was

carrying you all along. So I say to you,

do not resist the quitting. Let it

happen. Let it peel away everything that

is false. Everything that is heavy,

everything that is not truly you. Yes,

it will be uncomfortable. Yes, it will

be lonely at times. Yes, it will feel

like death. But on the other side of

that death is life. life more vivid,

more free, more real than you have ever

known. When you quit, what is false?

What remains is love. And that love is

not fragile. It is the foundation of the

universe itself. It is what you are. You

will discover that the self you thought

you were, the actor, the seeker, the

victim, the performer, was only a mask.

And beneath it, you were already whole,

already free, already enough. Awakening

is simply the recognition of this truth.

And once you see it, you cannot unsee

it. Life will never again let you go

back to sleep. So let yourself quit. Let

yourself fall away from what is false.

Do not be afraid of the emptiness it

leaves. For emptiness is not

nothingness. It is space. And in that

space, the true self flowers slowly,

quietly, beautifully. Awakening is not

about becoming someone else. It is about

remembering who you are when all else

has fallen away. And when that memory

returns, when you finally rest as

yourself, you will realize something

astonishing. You were never missing

anything. You were never broken. You

only forgot. And now you are

remembering. And this, my friends, is freedom.

Imagine for a moment that you stand in a

room full of people, laughter echoing,

conversations flowing, everyone

seemingly at ease.

Yet inside yourself, you feel a quiet distance,

distance,

a sense of being a witness rather than a participant.

participant.

For many awakened souls, this is not an

uncommon experience.

They carry within them a depth of

perception that most people are not even

aware exists.

They don't just see faces, they see

masks. They don't just hear words. They

hear the silence behind the words, the

hidden fears, the subtle contradictions.

And when you live with this kind of

perception, it becomes almost impossible

to settle for the ordinary games that

most people call love.

Love, as the world portrays it, is often

built upon fleeting sparks of attraction,

attraction,

upon illusions that two people create

together, convincing themselves that

what they see is the whole truth.

But the awakened soul cannot unseen what

it sees.

It cannot pretend that attraction alone

is enough, or that affection, which

depends on constant reassurance, is

truly love.

They see through the layers, through the neediness,

neediness,

through the unspoken contracts where one

person says to another, "Make me whole.

Fill my emptiness. Rescue me from

myself." And when you see that so

clearly, how can you give yourself to it?

it?

How can you pretend to play the game

when the cards are transparent in your hands?

hands?

This depth of awareness does not make

the awakened soul superior,

but it does make them different.

They seek something raw, something real,

something untouched by the performance

of romance.

They want to look into another's eyes

and see not a mask, not a role, but the

truth of their being.

Yet, most people are terrified of being

seen in that way.

They cling to their identities, their

little stories, their carefully polished

image of who they believe they are.

And so when someone comes along who

pierces through that veil, it feels

uncomfortable, even threatening. Many

turn away. Many retreat because the

intimacy an awakened soul longs for

requires a level of vulnerability most

are not willing to give.

And so the awakened one often walks alone,

alone,

not because they don't want love, but

because they want love without pretense.

They want the kind of love that does not

demand you be anyone other than who you

truly are.

They want the kind of love that doesn't

collapse when appearances fade, when

youth slips away, when the spark of

novelty dims.

They want love that is rooted in the

timeless, not in the temporary.

But this desire, as noble as it may

seem, creates distance. For in a world

built on appearances, to seek the truth

is to walk apart.

Think of it this way.

Most people fall in love with the idea

of someone, not the reality.

They fall in love with who they imagine

the other person to be. And when reality

surfaces, disappointment sets in. The

awakened soul sees that from the

beginning. They don't allow themselves

to fall for the fantasy. And so the

usual dance of love does not unfold.

They pause. They question. They wait for

something real. And that waiting can

stretch into years into lifetimes.

For real love in its rawness is rare.

And yet this depth also creates a silent sorrow.

sorrow.

Because while the awakened soul may

cherish solitude,

they are not immune to the longing for companionship.

companionship.

They too feel the ache of wanting to be

understood, to be met soulto soul.

But every time they try to meet others

in that way, they find themselves

standing on different ground. They speak

of stillness, of silence, of presence.

But the world is busy chasing pleasure,

chasing status, chasing validation.

There is a loneliness that comes from

living in that kind of clarity. But here

lies the paradox. The very depth that

makes it difficult for them to find love

is also the very thing that defines

their beauty.

Their refusal to settle, their

unwillingness to participate in

illusions is not a flaw.

It is their strength.

It is what allows them to preserve love

in its purest form,

even if it means living without it in

the ways the world defines it.

They may not always find someone who can

meet them in that truth, but when they

do, it is something extraordinary.

For then two awakened souls no longer

stand apart. They dissolve into a union

that is not based on need, but on

freedom, not on illusion, but on truth.

And so the awakened soul remains both

blessed and burdened.

Blessed with vision, burdened with isolation,

isolation,

blessed with clarity, burdened with

longing. Yet deep down they know that

love in its truest form is not something

to be sought. Not something to be

forced, but something that arises when

two beings dare to stand naked in their

truth or love. As most people know, it

is often tangled in threads of

possession and attachment.

We meet someone and almost unconsciously

we begin to weave expectations around them.

them.

We imagine how they should act, how they

should speak, how they should remain by

our side.

And if they drift even slightly away

from that imagined picture, we feel

fear, we feel jealousy, we feel abandoned.

abandoned.

This is the common pattern of love, a

dance of desire and control. But for

those who are awakened, the very heart

of their being moves in another rhythm.

Their soul longs for freedom.

They know deeply that love which binds,

love which clings, is not love at all.

It is fear wearing the mask of

affection. To live awake is to recognize

that nothing in life can truly be possessed.

possessed.

You cannot own another person. Not their

body, not their heart, not their spirit.

The awakened soul understands this. And

so when confronted with the conventional

model of love that demands ownership,

they hesitate. They step back because

they know what is being asked of them is

not genuine intimacy but a trade, a

bargain that says,

"I will give you love as long as you

stay exactly how I need you to be."

And that bargain feels like a prison.

This is the great paradox of awakened

souls. They desire closeness,

yet they fear the cage of attachment.

They long for intimacy, yet they resist

the chains that often come with it.

They can cherish someone with great

depth. But the moment love begins to

smell of possession, they withdraw.

They know that to truly love someone is

to let them be free, to celebrate their

independence, to allow them to move, to

change, to grow.

But most relationships are not built on

that kind of freedom.

They are built on the quiet demand that

the other must not change too much, must

not wander too far,

must not upset the delicate balance of

our expectations.

So imagine the tension this creates

inside the awakened one.

They feel the warmth of love. They feel

the beauty of connection. Yet at the

same time, they feel the shadow of

ownership creeping in.

And they cannot ignore it.

They cannot silence the awareness that

whispers, "If you give yourself

completely here, will you still be free?

Or will you be bound by invisible chains?"

chains?"

And so they pull back, not because they

don't love, but because they cannot

betray the truth they see.

In many ways, the world does not

understand this.

People mistake their hesitation for

coldness, their distance for lack of

care. But it is not that they do not

care. It is that they care too deeply to

corrupt love with chains.

They know that real love cannot be

forced, cannot be bargained for, cannot

be contained.

Real love flourishes only in freedom,

only when both souls meet without the

need to control.

And yet this devotion to freedom comes

with a heavy price. Many awakened souls

spend their lives torn between the

longing to merge and the longing to

remain untethered.

They crave the sweetness of closeness,

but each time it arises,

they sense the shadow of attachment and

it unsettles them.

The ordinary person finds comfort in

attachment, in belonging to someone and

having someone belong to them. But to

the awakened one, this belonging feels

like being trapped. It feels like a

subtle form of death where individuality

dissolves not into unity but into

dependence. You see, the awakened soul

does not fear love. They fear the prison

built in its name.

They fear the silent contracts that

lovers often write without words.

The assumption that because I love you,

I own you. That because you love me, you

must behave according to my desires.

And they cannot surrender to that

because they know that the moment love

is tied down, it begins to die. Love,

like a bird, cannot sing when it is caged.

caged.

This is why their relationships are

often fragile, why they struggle to

remain in the conventional structures of romance.

romance.

They are not searching for possession.

They are searching for communion. They

are not asking to hold you down. They

are asking to dance beside you freely,

willingly, joyfully.

And until they find someone who

understands that love can exist without

chains, they remain restless.

It is a difficult truth because the

awakened soul is not immune to loneliness.

loneliness.

They too feel the ache of wanting

someone to walk beside them.

But their devotion to freedom is so

absolute that they would rather walk

alone than be bound.

And in this lies both their suffering

and their beauty.

They refuse to degrade love into

ownership even if it means their arms

remain empty.

The struggle between freedom and

attachment is the eternal paradox of the awakened.

awakened.

For them, love can never be about

holding. It can only be about allowing.

And until the world learns to love in

that way, they will always stand apart,

yearning for a union that does not cage,

a union that breathes with freedom.

When two people come together, they do

not only bring their bodies or their

words. They bring their entire

vibration, the frequency at which they

live. You can feel it even without

words. Walk into a room and immediately

you sense it.

Someone heavy with anxiety, someone

buzzing with restlessness, someone calm

and at ease. Energy speaks before

language does. And for those who are

awakened, this is not a vague intuition.

It is as clear as daylight.

They sense the energy of another like a

musician hears when an instrument is out

of tune.

And this sensitivity, while beautiful,

makes it difficult for them to find love.

love.

Most of the world vibrates at a level

shaped by fear, desire, insecurity, and

distraction. People are caught in their

ambitions, in their worries, in their

endless chase for validation.

Their energy reflects this, scattered,

restless, sometimes heavy. The awakened

soul, however, lives in a different rhythm.

rhythm.

Their frequency is quieter, calmer,

attuned to truth and presence.

They do not carry the same frantic

hunger because they have seen through

much of the illusion that drives it.

And so when they try to connect, there

is often a mismatch. They extend their

hand, but what they feel on the other

side does not harmonize with their own depth.

depth.

It is like trying to play a delicate

piece of music with someone who only

knows how to bang on the drums.

Both may be musicians. Both may love

sound. But the harmony is missing. And

without harmony, intimacy cannot unfold.

The awakened one does not wish to judge

or to feel superior, but they cannot

deny what their being perceives. They

feel the dissonance in their bones, and

it unsettles them.

This misalignment is not always obvious

at first.

Attraction may pull two people together.

Shared interests may create laughter and joy.

joy.

But in the quiet moments when the masks

fall and energy speaks more loudly than

words, the awakened soul feels the gap.

They feel how the other person is still

tangled in illusions, still chasing

shadows, still living at a pace that

cannot rest in stillness. And this

realization brings a gentle sorrow.

For they know that no matter how much

they care, the connection will not

sustain itself unless both souls

resonate on a similar frequency.

To love someone deeply requires more

than chemistry. It requires attunement.

It requires that both people are willing

to rest in presence, to see through

illusions together, to hold silence

without fear.

But most people are not ready for that.

Silence makes them anxious.

Truth unsettles them. Stillness feels

like emptiness. And so they run back

into distraction, into drama, into the

familiar noise that keeps them comfortable.

comfortable.

But for the awakened soul, that noise

feels unbearable.

They would rather sit alone in silence

than fill their life with the static of

misaligned energy.

This is why they often feel like

strangers in the world of love. They do

not reject others out of arrogance, but

because they cannot force a harmony that

isn't there.

They cannot pretend to enjoy the music

when every note feels dissonant.

And so, while others may move easily

from one relationship to another, the

awakened one hesitates.

They know that until the right resonance

appears, giving themselves to someone

will only lead to deeper loneliness.

For there is nothing lonelier than being

unseen by the one lying next to you. Yet

this sensitivity is also their gift.

Because when they do meet someone who

vibrates at the same depth, the

connection is profound.

Words become unnecessary. Their energies

weave together effortlessly like two

instruments tuned to the same key.

In such a union, love is not a struggle

or a performance.

It is simply the natural expression of

harmony. That is why awakened souls are

so cautious, so patient, so unwilling to compromise.

compromise.

They are not chasing perfection. They

are waiting for resonance.

But until that resonance is found, they

carry a quiet ache.

They walk through a world where most

people's energy feels hurried, heavy, distracted.

distracted.

They long for that rare meeting where

both souls stand present, awake,

unafraid of silence.

They are willing to wait, even if it

means waiting a lifetime, because they

know that forced connections will only

drain them. Their hearts are too finely

tuned to settle for noise.

So when you see an awakened soul walking

alone, do not assume they do not want love.

love.

They want it perhaps more deeply than

anyone else.

But they will not lower their vibration

just to fit into a love that feels hollow.

hollow.

They would rather embrace solitude than

abandon their truth.

When most people speak of love, they

speak of it as a private treasure,

something to be kept between two people

bound tightly within the circle of me

and you.

Love becomes an agreement, a possession,

a territory marked by intimacy and loyalty.

loyalty.

But for those who have awakened, love is

not so easily contained.

They taste love not as a contract but as

an atmosphere,

something that flows through everything

that belongs not to one person alone but

to the very fabric of existence.

And this is where the difficulty arises.

Because when you see love as universal,

when you feel it radiating toward every

being, the idea of narrowing it down to

one exclusive arrangement can feel suffocating,

suffocating, incomplete,

incomplete,

even dishonest. This does not mean the

awakened soul is incapable of devotion.

On the contrary, their capacity for love

is immense.

But their love does not stop at the

border of a relationship.

They love the stranger, the tree, the

wind, the silence.

They love not in fragments but in

wholeness. And when they enter into the

usual forms of relationship, this

vastness can be misunderstood.

Their partner may ask, "If you love me,

why does your love flow so freely toward others?"

others?"

But the awakened one cannot help it for

they know that love is not a commodity

to be divided and measured.

It is the very essence of being.

This is one of the most misunderstood

qualities of awakened souls.

The world expects them to pour their

love into one vessel alone

to channel it exclusively toward a

single person.

But their heart does not work that way.

To love only one and exclude the rest

would feel like betrayal of what they

know to be true.

They cannot confine love to a narrow

path when they feel it flowing like a

river endlessly through everything. And

yet this very expansiveness makes

intimacy with one person difficult

because most people want to be special

to be chosen above all else to be the

sole recipient of devotion. The awakened

soul cannot play that game. Their love

is too vast to shrink into exclusivity.

And so they often appear detached as if

they are holding something back. But

they are not withholding. They are overflowing.

overflowing.

They are not refusing intimacy. They are

refusing ownership.

They are not cold.

They are too full of warmth to lock it

away for one person alone.

But this fullness is so foreign to most

people that it feels like distance. It

feels as if the awakened one cannot

commit, cannot give themselves completely.

completely.

And in a way this is true, not because

they are unwilling, but because their

love belongs to everyone and everything,

not just to one.

This universal love creates both beauty

and struggle. beauty

because it allows them to walk through

the world with open arms, to see

divinity in every face, to care deeply

for all beings without prejudice. Struggle

Struggle

because it leaves them misunderstood by

those who long for the familiar kind of

love, the kind that says, "You are mine

and I am yours and no one else can touch

this." The awakened soul cannot confine

their heart in that way. And so

relationships falter.

It is not that they do not desire closeness.

closeness.

They do.

They want the sweetness of sharing life

with another, the intimacy of presence,

the joy of companionship,

but they want it without fences.

They want it without the heavy weight of exclusivity.

exclusivity.

They want it without having to pretend

that their love for the whole world must

be shut down just to satisfy one bond.

And so they are left in a paradox.

They love too widely to fit into the

narrow mold of traditional love.

And yet they still ache for that deep

human closeness which seems to demand it.

it.

This is why their love is often mistaken

for detachment.

To those who crave possession, their

openness feels threatening. To those who

demand exclusivity, their universal

compassion feels like delusion.

But in truth, their love is not weaker.

It is stronger. It is not smaller. It is

infinitely larger.

They do not fall in love. They rise in

love. And their love rises beyond the

boundaries of the personal.

Yet because the world does not

understand this, awakened souls walk a

lonely path in matters of the heart.

They may try to explain, but

explanations rarely soothe the

insecurities of others. They may try to

compromise, but each compromise feels

like a betrayal of what they know love

truly is. And so again and again they

find themselves caught in this tension.

Too expansive for the ordinary patterns

of love.

Yet still longing to be met in the

vastness of their heart.

There's something I've noticed about us

human beings that I find absolutely

fascinating. We're all embarked on what

we think of as this great and serious

quest. We call it different things.

self-improvement, spiritual growth, the

path to enlightenment,

and oh, how terribly earnest we are

about it all. We read the books, we

follow the gurus, we practice the

techniques, we sit cross-legged until

our knees ache, all in pursuit of

something we believe we don't yet have,

something we think we need to find. But

what if, and here's the cosmic joke that

I find so delicious, what if this whole

adventure is based on a case of mistaken

identity? What if you're looking for

something that you've never actually

lost? What if the very eye that's doing

the looking is precisely what it's

looking for? You see, there's a truth

that most of us don't want to face. A

truth so simple, so obvious that we keep

missing it in our complicated searching.

And that truth is this. Your search has

already ended. It ended before it began.

The treasure you're seeking is what's

doing the seeking. The awareness reading

these words right now is exactly what

you've been looking for all along. Today

I want to explore with you this

extraordinary possibility that all your

spiritual questing, all your existential

angst, all your desperate seeking for

meaning and fulfillment is founded on a

magnificent misunderstanding.

And that when this misunderstanding is

cleared up, you'll find yourself exactly

where you've always wanted to be. Not

because you've arrived somewhere new,

but because you finally recognized where

and what you've been all along. Let's

begin with what I call the great

illusion of seeking. You see, we've been

told from the very beginning that life

is a journey, a quest, a search for

something. We must find ourselves, find

our purpose, find enlightenment, find

God, find happiness.

Find, find, find. As if these things

were lost objects that had somehow

fallen behind the cosmic sofa. The

Buddha is said to have remarked that

seeking enlightenment is like a person

riding on an ox in search of an ox.

Isn't that marvelous? You're already

riding on the very thing you're

desperately searching for. But we've

been conditioned to believe that what we

are looking for is somewhere else,

sometime else, somehow else.

Not here, not now, not this. And so

begins the great chase, the spiritual

wild goose chase, if you will. The

trouble is, of course, that the more we

seek, the more we reinforce the

fundamental assumption that what we're

seeking isn't already here. Do you see

the trap? The very act of seeking

creates the experience of not having

found. It's rather like creating a

problem and then trying desperately to

solve it. Think about it this way.

When you go looking for your glasses and

you can't find them anywhere and then

someone points out that they're sitting

right on top of your head, what happens

in that moment? There's a kind of

embarrassed laughter, isn't there? Zero.

Five. Because you suddenly realize you

were looking for something that was

already there, already part of you,

already in your possession. And that's

precisely the cosmic joke about all

spiritual seeking. What you are looking

for is what is looking. The awareness in

which you exist, the consciousness that

you are is already complete, already

perfect, already fulfilled. But we miss

it because we're expecting it to be

something else, something special,

something extraordinary.

We expect trumpets and angels and

mystical visions. When the truth is as

simple and ordinary as breathing, as

ordinary as the feeling of your bottom

against the chair, as ordinary as the

sound of birds outside your window, as

ordinary as this moment right now. Now,

this brings us to what I find to be one

of the most fascinating paradoxes of the

spiritual life. The paradox of effort.

We are told that we must work hard,

practice diligently, meditate for hours,

study the scriptures, follow the

disciplines, all to attain some future

state of enlightenment or spiritual realization.

realization.

And yet, the more strenuously we strive

toward that goal, the more we reinforce

the very illusion that keeps us from it.

It's rather like trying to smooth out

waves on the surface of water by

slapping it with your hand. The harder

you try, the more waves you create.

Isn't that marvelous? The Zen masters

understood this perfectly. That's why

they have this peculiar saying, to study

the Buddha way is to study the self. To

study the self is to forget the self.

But what does it mean to forget the

self? It means to stop the relentless

effort of trying to improve yourself,

perfect yourself, transform yourself

into something better. You see, all

spiritual effort is based on the

presupposition that you are not already

what you're seeking to become. But what

if you are? What if what you're seeking

is what you already are? Then all that

striving is not only unnecessary, it's

actually counterproductive.

I'm reminded of a story about a Zen

master who was asked by his disciple,

"How long will it take me to reach

enlightenment if I practice very hard?"

The master replied, "10 years." The

disciple then asked, "And if I practice

twice as hard," the master said, "20

years." "And if I practice day and night

with all my might," asked the confused

disciple. "30 years," replied the

master. "Do you see the point?

The harder you try, the further away it

gets. Because the very trying implies

that it's not already here. This doesn't

mean, by the way, that we should all

just become lazy and stop doing

anything. That would be falling into the

opposite error. What it means is that we

need to understand the nature of effort

differently. Not as a means to get

somewhere, but as an expression of where

we already are. Think of it like

dancing. When you dance, you're not

trying to get anywhere. You're not

improving yourself. You're simply

expressing the joy of being alive in

this moment. That's what spiritual

practice really is. Not a ladder to

climb to some future heaven, but a dance

that celebrates the heaven that's

already here. Let's explore another

fascinating dimension of this illusion.

Our concept of time. You see, the whole

idea that we need to seek to progress,

to evolve spiritually is based on a

certain view of time. A view that sees

time as a line stretching from past to

future with the present as just a

fleeting moment between them. And in

this view, we're always on our way

somewhere. We're never quite there. We

are perpetually in transit, always

becoming, never being. One day, we tell

ourselves, "One day I'll arrive. One day

I'll be enlightened, fulfilled,

complete. But that day never comes, does

it? Because it's always in the future

and the future never arrives. It's

rather like trying to catch up with the

horizon. The faster you move toward it,

the faster it recedes from you. This is

what I call the trap of time. And it's

perhaps the most subtle and pervasive

illusion of all because we don't see it

as an illusion. We see it as reality itself.

itself.

But what if time, as we normally

conceive it, is itself an illusion? What

if, as the mystics have always insisted,

there is only the eternal now? What if

past and future are just mental

constructs, useful for practical

purposes, but ultimately not real? You

see, we think of ourselves as beings in

time, moving from past to future. But

what if we're actually beings of time?

Zero. Five. What if consciousness itself

is what creates the experience of time?

Consider this. You can only ever

experience the present moment. You can

remember the past, but that remembering

happens now. You can anticipate the

future, but that anticipation happens

now. All experience, all life, all

reality can only ever be now. And if

that's the case, then the whole idea of

spiritual progress of gradually moving

from an unenlightened state to an

enlightened one over time is based on a

fundamental misunderstanding.

Because if there is only now, then

whatever realization or awakening you're

seeking can only happen now. Not after

years of practice, not after reading all

the books, not after finding the perfect

teacher, but now. Either now or never.

And this is precisely what the great

spiritual traditions have always pointed

to. When Jesus said, "The kingdom of

heaven is at hand," he didn't mean it's

coming soon. He meant it's here now

within reach. When the Zen masters speak

of sudden enlightenment, they're

pointing to the fact that awakening can

only be sudden because it can only

happen now. Now let's consider what we

mean by understanding because there's a

world of difference between intellectual

knowledge and true understanding. And

this difference is at the heart of our

dilemma. You see we become a

civilization obsessed with information

with facts with knowledge. We accumulate

books. We attend lectures. We gather

certificates and degrees.

We think that if we just learn enough,

read enough, study enough, we'll finally

understand. But understanding, real

understanding, isn't a matter of

accumulation at all. It's rather like

the difference between reading a menu

and eating the food. You can study a

menu all day long, memorize every dish,

know all the ingredients by heart, but

you'll still be hungry. Because reading

about food is not the same as eating it.

Similarly, reading about enlightenment,

talking about enlightenment, thinking

about enlightenment, none of this is the

same as being enlightened. And yet, how

much of our spiritual seeking consists

precisely of this kind of menu reading?

Real understanding doesn't happen in the

head. It happens in the whole being.

It's not something you acquire. It's

something you become. Or rather, it's

something you recognize you've always

been. There's a lovely Zen story about

this. A monk asked his master, "What is

the Buddha?" And the master replied, "3B

of flax." Now, that's a peculiar answer,

isn't it? It makes no sense intellectually.

intellectually.

You can't figure it out. And that's

precisely the point. The master is

trying to jolt the monk out of his

conceptual mind, out of his menu

reading, into direct experience.

Because the truth, the real

understanding we're seeking can't be

thought. It can only be lived. It can't

be grasped. It can only be embodied.

This is why all the great spiritual

teachings ultimately point beyond themselves.

themselves.

They're like fingers pointing to the

moon. And the danger is that we'll

become fixated on the finger and miss

the moon entirely. The Buddha is said to

have remarked that his teaching was like

a raft to cross a river. Once you've

reached the other shore, you don't carry

the raft on your back. You leave it

behind. But how many of us are trudging

through life carrying rafts on our

backs? How many books, how many

concepts, how many teachings are we

lugging around when the whole point was

to arrive at the other shore to arrive

here now in this moment fully alive,

fully awake? Real understanding isn't

about adding something. It's about

dropping everything. It's not about

becoming more, but about realizing that

you've never been less than complete.

It's not about reaching some future

state, but about waking up to what has

always been the case. Let me share with

you one of my favorite ways of looking

at this whole business of existence. I

like to think of it as a cosmic game of

hideand seek. Imagine if you will that

in the beginning there was only God,

only the absolute, only pure

consciousness, whatever term you prefer.

And this consciousness, this God was all

there was, complete, perfect, whole, but

also perhaps a bit lonely, a bit bored.

So what does God do? God plays a game, a

game of hideand seek with himself. God

says, "Let's pretend I'm not God. Let's

pretend I'm all these separate beings,

all these individuals, all these

creatures who don't know their God." And

so the game begins. God fragments

himself into countless beings, into you

and me and the birds and the bees and

the stars and the planets. And each

fragment forgets that it's God. Each

fragment thinks it's just little old me,

separate, isolated, alone. And then as

the game unfolds, these fragments, these

disguised versions of God start to feel

a strange longing. They start to sense

that something is missing. They start to

seek. They look high and low. They

explore philosophy and religion. They

practice meditation and prayer, all in

an effort to find what they've lost, to

find God. But here's the cosmic joke.

What they're looking for is what they

are. The seeker is the sort. God is

playing hide and seek with himself. And

the whole thrill of the game is the

moment of recognition. The moment when

God disguised as you suddenly remembers,

"Oh, it's me. It's been me all along."

Isn't that a marvelous way to think

about it? The universe is not a problem

to be solved, but a game to be played.

And the game isn't about winning or

losing, about succeeding or failing.

It's about forgetting and remembering,

hiding and seeking, losing yourself and

finding yourself. And the beauty of this

game is that you can't really lose

because no matter how lost you get, no

matter how deeply you forget, the truth

of who you are never changes. You're

still God playing hide-and-seek with

himself. You are still the absolute

pretending to be a separate self. So all

this seeking, all this spiritual

striving, all this desperate effort to

find enlightenment, it's all part of the

game. It's God pretending to look for

God. It's the cosmic hideand seek in

full swing. And when you see it this

way, everything changes. The search is

no longer serious, no longer heavy, no

longer fraught with anxiety and fear. It

becomes light, playful, joyous because

you realize it's all a divine game, a

cosmic dance, a play of consciousness

with itself. Let's look more closely at

this peculiar notion of a separate self

because it's at the root of all our

seeking. We feel that there is a mei in

here separate from the world out there.

And this me needs to find something,

achieve something, become something. But

what exactly is this me? What is this

self that we're so concerned about? If

you look for it, really look for it,

you'll find something quite astonishing.

You can't find it. It's like trying to

bite your own teeth or see your own

eyes. The looker can't find itself by

looking. You might say, "But I know I

exist. I think, I feel, I act. I experience."

experience."

Yes, but what is this eye that knows all

these things? Is it your body? But your

body is constantly changing, constantly

in flux. The body you had as a child is

not the body you have now. Is it your

thoughts? But thoughts come and go like

clouds in the sky. They're not constant,

not stable. Is it your feelings? But

feelings change from moment to moment.

Is it your memories? But memories fade,

change, and are often unreliable.

So what exactly is this self that we're

so concerned about? What is this me that

needs to be improved, perfected,

enlightened? The great insight of the

Buddha and indeed of all the mystical

traditions is that this separate self is

an illusion. Not that you don't exist.

Obviously you do, but you don't exist as

a separate independent entity. You exist

as a process, as a pattern, as a dance

of elements that are inseparable from

the whole universe. Think of a whirlpool

in a river. The whirlpool has a certain

form, a certain identity. You can point

to it and say there's a whirlpool. But

the whirlpool is not separate from the

river. It's not a thing that exists independently.

independently.

It's a pattern that the river is making.

And if you tried to separate the

whirlpool from the river, you'd have no

whirlpool at all. Similarly, you are a

whirlpool in the flow of the universe.

You have a certain form, a certain

pattern, a certain uniqueness. But

you're not separate from the whole.

You're a pattern that the universe is

making. And if you were somehow

separated from the universe, you

wouldn't exist at all. So this separate

self that's doing all the seeking, all

the striving, all the struggling to

become enlightened, it's a phantom. It's

a mirage. It's a case of mistaken

identity. And when you see through this illusion, when you recognize that the

illusion, when you recognize that the self is not a separate entity, but a

self is not a separate entity, but a process inseparable from the whole, then

process inseparable from the whole, then the seeking naturally comes to an end.

the seeking naturally comes to an end. Because who is there to seek and what is

Because who is there to seek and what is there to find? The seeker and the sought

there to find? The seeker and the sought are revealed to be one and the same.

are revealed to be one and the same. This is the truth you don't want to

This is the truth you don't want to face. That there is no separate you that

face. That there is no separate you that needs to find anything. There never was.

needs to find anything. There never was. There is only the one life, the one

There is only the one life, the one consciousness, the one reality playing

consciousness, the one reality playing at being many. Let's return to this

at being many. Let's return to this fascinating question of time because

fascinating question of time because it's so central to our dilemma. We think

it's so central to our dilemma. We think of ourselves as beings in time moving

of ourselves as beings in time moving from past to future. And we think of

from past to future. And we think of enlightenment or realization as

enlightenment or realization as something that will happen to us at some

something that will happen to us at some future date after much practice and

future date after much practice and preparation. But what if time itself is

preparation. But what if time itself is part of the illusion? You see, we

part of the illusion? You see, we experience time as a sequence of

experience time as a sequence of moments, past, present, future, all

moments, past, present, future, all neatly arranged in a line. But is that

neatly arranged in a line. But is that really how time is? Or is that just our

really how time is? Or is that just our way of thinking about time? Consider

way of thinking about time? Consider this. You can only ever experience the

this. You can only ever experience the present moment. The past exists only as

present moment. The past exists only as memory and memory happens now. The

memory and memory happens now. The future exists only as anticipation and

future exists only as anticipation and anticipation happens now. All

anticipation happens now. All experience, all reality, all life can

experience, all reality, all life can only ever be now. As the mystics have

only ever be now. As the mystics have always insisted, there is only the

always insisted, there is only the eternal now. Not a sequence of nows, not

eternal now. Not a sequence of nows, not a series of present moments strung

a series of present moments strung together like beads on a string, but one

together like beads on a string, but one seamless eternal everpresent now. This

seamless eternal everpresent now. This is not some abstract philosophical

is not some abstract philosophical concept. It's the most concrete reality

concept. It's the most concrete reality there is. It's what you're experiencing

there is. It's what you're experiencing right now as you listen to these words.

right now as you listen to these words. It's the awareness in which all

It's the awareness in which all experience arises.

experience arises. And uh if there is only now, then

And uh if there is only now, then whatever realization or awakening you're

whatever realization or awakening you're seeking can only happen now. Not after

seeking can only happen now. Not after years of practice, not after finding the

years of practice, not after finding the perfect teacher, not after reading all

perfect teacher, not after reading all the books, but now. Either now or never.

the books, but now. Either now or never. This is why all the great spiritual

This is why all the great spiritual teachings point to the immediiacy of

teachings point to the immediiacy of awakening. Be here now. As my friend

awakening. Be here now. As my friend Ramdas likes to say, not be here

Ramdas likes to say, not be here eventually, not be here after you've

eventually, not be here after you've purified your karma, but be here now.

purified your karma, but be here now. The Zen masters express this beautifully

The Zen masters express this beautifully when they say, "If you want to be a

when they say, "If you want to be a Buddha, you must see your Buddha

Buddha, you must see your Buddha nature." Not become your Buddha nature,

nature." Not become your Buddha nature, not develop your Buddha nature, not

not develop your Buddha nature, not achieve your Buddha nature, but see it.

achieve your Buddha nature, but see it. See what's already there. What's always

See what's already there. What's always been there, what could never not be

been there, what could never not be there. And when is this seeing to take

there. And when is this seeing to take place? Not tomorrow, not next year, not

place? Not tomorrow, not next year, not in your next lifetime, but now. Right

in your next lifetime, but now. Right now, this very moment. So the eternal

now, this very moment. So the eternal now is not just a poetic idea or a

now is not just a poetic idea or a mystical concept. It's the key to the

mystical concept. It's the key to the whole puzzle. It's the recognition that

whole puzzle. It's the recognition that what you're seeking can only be found in

what you're seeking can only be found in this moment because this moment is all

this moment because this moment is all there ever is. And in this moment, right

there ever is. And in this moment, right now, as you hear these words, you are

now, as you hear these words, you are already complete, already perfect,

already complete, already perfect, already enlightened.

already enlightened. Not because you've achieved anything,

Not because you've achieved anything, but because completion, perfection,

but because completion, perfection, enlightenment are not achievements.

enlightenment are not achievements. They're recognitions.

They're recognitions. They're seeing what's always been the

They're seeing what's always been the case. The search ends not because you

case. The search ends not because you found what you were looking for, but

found what you were looking for, but because you've recognized that you never

because you've recognized that you never lost it in the first place. And this

lost it in the first place. And this recognition can only happen now in the

recognition can only happen now in the eternal present that is your true

eternal present that is your true nature. I'd like to propose a radical

nature. I'd like to propose a radical shift in how we think about life. We

shift in how we think about life. We usually conceive of life as a journey, a

usually conceive of life as a journey, a path, a quest, something with a

path, a quest, something with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

beginning, a middle, and an end. Something with a purpose, a goal, a

Something with a purpose, a goal, a destination.

destination. But what if life isn't a journey at all?

But what if life isn't a journey at all? What if it's a dance?

What if it's a dance? You see the difference between a journey

You see the difference between a journey and a dance is profound. A journey is

and a dance is profound. A journey is going somewhere. A dance is just

going somewhere. A dance is just dancing. A journey has a purpose beyond

dancing. A journey has a purpose beyond itself to reach the destination.

itself to reach the destination. A dance has no purpose beyond itself.

A dance has no purpose beyond itself. The dancing is the purpose. When you're

The dancing is the purpose. When you're on a journey, the present moment is just

on a journey, the present moment is just a means to an end. It's valuable only in

a means to an end. It's valuable only in so far as it gets you closer to your

so far as it gets you closer to your destination. But when you're dancing,

destination. But when you're dancing, the present moment is all there is. Each

the present moment is all there is. Each step, each movement, each beat is

step, each movement, each beat is complete in itself. It doesn't lead

complete in itself. It doesn't lead anywhere because it doesn't need to lead

anywhere because it doesn't need to lead anywhere. It's already there. And this,

anywhere. It's already there. And this, I suggest, is a much truer way to

I suggest, is a much truer way to understand life. Life is not a journey

understand life. Life is not a journey with a destination called enlightenment

with a destination called enlightenment or heaven or nirvana. Life is a dance, a

or heaven or nirvana. Life is a dance, a play, a symphony, a work of art that has

play, a symphony, a work of art that has no purpose beyond itself. Think about

no purpose beyond itself. Think about music. We don't listen to a symphony in

music. We don't listen to a symphony in order to get to the final note. That

order to get to the final note. That would be absurd. We listen to the

would be absurd. We listen to the symphony to enjoy the whole thing from

symphony to enjoy the whole thing from the first note to the last. The purpose

the first note to the last. The purpose of the symphony isn't to reach the end.

of the symphony isn't to reach the end. It's to be enjoyed in its entirety.

It's to be enjoyed in its entirety. Similarly, we don't dance in order to

Similarly, we don't dance in order to arrive at a particular spot on the

arrive at a particular spot on the floor.

floor. That would be a strange kind of dance

That would be a strange kind of dance indeed. We dance for the joy of dancing.

indeed. We dance for the joy of dancing. The purpose of the dance is the dance

The purpose of the dance is the dance itself.

itself. And yet when it comes to life, we've

And yet when it comes to life, we've somehow convinced ourselves that it's

somehow convinced ourselves that it's all about getting somewhere, achieving

all about getting somewhere, achieving something, becoming something. We've

something, becoming something. We've turned life into a journey, a struggle,

turned life into a journey, a struggle, a quest, when in reality it's a dance, a

a quest, when in reality it's a dance, a play, a symphony. This doesn't mean that

play, a symphony. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't have goals or plans or

we shouldn't have goals or plans or aspirations.

aspirations. Of course, we should. But these are part

Of course, we should. But these are part of the dance, not the reason for the

of the dance, not the reason for the dance. Their notes in the symphony, not

dance. Their notes in the symphony, not the purpose of the symphony. And when we

the purpose of the symphony. And when we see life this way as a dance rather than

see life this way as a dance rather than a journey, everything changes. The

a journey, everything changes. The present moment is no longer just a

present moment is no longer just a stepping stone to the future. It's

stepping stone to the future. It's complete in itself. Our spiritual

complete in itself. Our spiritual practices are no longer means to an end.

practices are no longer means to an end. They're expressions of our being like

They're expressions of our being like the movements of a dance. And

the movements of a dance. And enlightenment is no longer a distant

enlightenment is no longer a distant goal to be achieved. It's the

goal to be achieved. It's the recognition that we've been dancing all

recognition that we've been dancing all along. So I invite you to drop the

along. So I invite you to drop the journey metaphor with all its striving

journey metaphor with all its striving and struggling and seeking and embrace

and struggling and seeking and embrace the dance metaphor with all its joy and

the dance metaphor with all its joy and play and celebration.

play and celebration. Life is not a problem to be solved or a

Life is not a problem to be solved or a task to be completed. It's a dance to be

task to be completed. It's a dance to be danced, a song to be sung, a play to be

danced, a song to be sung, a play to be played. And in this dance, there is no

played. And in this dance, there is no destination, no achievement, no arrival.

destination, no achievement, no arrival. There is only the dancing itself,

There is only the dancing itself, complete, perfect and whole in every

complete, perfect and whole in every moment. And you, the real you, beyond

moment. And you, the real you, beyond all your ideas about yourself, are the

all your ideas about yourself, are the dancer and the dance, the singer and the

dancer and the dance, the singer and the song, the player and the play. Always

song, the player and the play. Always have been, always will be. So we arrive

have been, always will be. So we arrive at a fascinating paradox. The search

at a fascinating paradox. The search ends not when we find what we're looking

ends not when we find what we're looking for, but when we stop looking. The

for, but when we stop looking. The awakening happens not when we achieve

awakening happens not when we achieve some special state, but when we abandon

some special state, but when we abandon the very idea of achievement.

the very idea of achievement. Enlightenment comes not when we become

Enlightenment comes not when we become something new, but when we recognize

something new, but when we recognize what we've always been. This is what I

what we've always been. This is what I call the awakening of non-seeking.

call the awakening of non-seeking. And it's a profound shift in how we

And it's a profound shift in how we relate to the spiritual life. You see,

relate to the spiritual life. You see, as long as we are seeking, we're

as long as we are seeking, we're reinforcing the idea that what we're

reinforcing the idea that what we're seeking is somewhere else, sometime

seeking is somewhere else, sometime else, somehow else. Not here, not now,

else, somehow else. Not here, not now, not this. And this very idea keeps us

not this. And this very idea keeps us from recognizing what's already the

from recognizing what's already the case. It's rather like being so busy

case. It's rather like being so busy looking for water that you fail to

looking for water that you fail to notice you're swimming in the ocean. The

notice you're swimming in the ocean. The very act of looking creates the

very act of looking creates the experience of not having found. So

experience of not having found. So what's the alternative? If seeking

what's the alternative? If seeking doesn't lead to finding, what does? The

doesn't lead to finding, what does? The answer paradoxically is non-seeking.

answer paradoxically is non-seeking. Not indifference, not laziness, not

Not indifference, not laziness, not resignation, but a radical openness to

resignation, but a radical openness to what is. A willingness to see what's

what is. A willingness to see what's already here rather than looking for

already here rather than looking for what's supposedly elsewhere. The Zen

what's supposedly elsewhere. The Zen masters express this beautifully when

masters express this beautifully when they speak of mushin, the mind of no

they speak of mushin, the mind of no mind, not a blank mind, not an empty

mind, not a blank mind, not an empty mind, but a mind that's free from the

mind, but a mind that's free from the compulsion to grasp, to seek, to

compulsion to grasp, to seek, to acquire. A mind that's open, receptive,

acquire. A mind that's open, receptive, available to what is. In this state of

available to what is. In this state of non-seeking, something extraordinary

non-seeking, something extraordinary happens. We discover that what we've

happens. We discover that what we've been seeking all along has been staring

been seeking all along has been staring us in the face. It's been hiding in

us in the face. It's been hiding in plain sight. It's the awareness in which

plain sight. It's the awareness in which all experience arises.

all experience arises. It's the consciousness that's reading

It's the consciousness that's reading these words right now. This is why the

these words right now. This is why the great spiritual teachers often use such

great spiritual teachers often use such paradoxical language. The way to do is

paradoxical language. The way to do is to be, says Lasu. The way is not

to be, says Lasu. The way is not difficult for those who have no

difficult for those who have no preferences, says the Zen patriarch

preferences, says the Zen patriarch Sangan.

Sangan. Be still and know that I am God, says

Be still and know that I am God, says the psalmist. They're all pointing to

the psalmist. They're all pointing to the same thing, the awakening that

the same thing, the awakening that happens not through seeking, but through

happens not through seeking, but through the sessation of seeking. Not through

the sessation of seeking. Not through becoming, but through being. Not through

becoming, but through being. Not through acquiring, but through recognizing what

acquiring, but through recognizing what we've never lost. And this awakening is

we've never lost. And this awakening is not something that happens once and for

not something that happens once and for all. It's not a permanent state that we

all. It's not a permanent state that we enter and never leave. It's a continuous

enter and never leave. It's a continuous unfolding, a momentby-moment recognition

unfolding, a momentby-moment recognition of what's always already the case.

of what's always already the case. Because the mind has a tendency to start

Because the mind has a tendency to start seeking again, to start grasping again,

seeking again, to start grasping again, to start trying to capture and hold on

to start trying to capture and hold on to the awakening. And as soon as it does

to the awakening. And as soon as it does that, it's back in the illusion, back in

that, it's back in the illusion, back in the trap. That's why Zen masters

the trap. That's why Zen masters sometimes say, "If you meet the Buddha

sometimes say, "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him." They don't mean

on the road, kill him." They don't mean literal murder. Of course, they mean

literal murder. Of course, they mean that even our concepts of enlightenment,

that even our concepts of enlightenment, our images of awakening, our ideas about

our images of awakening, our ideas about what it means to be spiritually

what it means to be spiritually realized, all these must be abandoned if

realized, all these must be abandoned if we're to see the truth that's right

we're to see the truth that's right before our eyes. So, the awakening of

before our eyes. So, the awakening of non-seeking is not a new state to be

non-seeking is not a new state to be achieved, but the recognition of what's

achieved, but the recognition of what's already the case. It's not something to

already the case. It's not something to be attained in the future, but something

be attained in the future, but something to be recognized right now. It's not a

to be recognized right now. It's not a destination at the end of a long

destination at the end of a long journey, but the ground beneath our feet

journey, but the ground beneath our feet in every step. So, having recognized

in every step. So, having recognized that the search is over, that it was

that the search is over, that it was over before it began, how do we live?

over before it began, how do we live? What does it mean to live from the

What does it mean to live from the understanding that we are already

understanding that we are already complete, already whole, already

complete, already whole, already enlightened?

enlightened? First, it doesn't mean that we stop

First, it doesn't mean that we stop doing things.

doing things. It doesn't mean that we sit around in

It doesn't mean that we sit around in some kind of passive stuper thinking I'm

some kind of passive stuper thinking I'm enlightened so I don't need to do

enlightened so I don't need to do anything. That would be a profound

anything. That would be a profound misunderstanding.

misunderstanding. Rather, it means that the quality of our

Rather, it means that the quality of our doing changes. We no longer act from a

doing changes. We no longer act from a sense of lack, from a feeling that we

sense of lack, from a feeling that we need to prove ourselves, complete

need to prove ourselves, complete ourselves, fulfill ourselves.

ourselves, fulfill ourselves. Instead, we act from a sense of

Instead, we act from a sense of abundance, from a recognition of our

abundance, from a recognition of our inherent completeness.

inherent completeness. It's rather like the difference between

It's rather like the difference between a beggar and a king. A beggar is always

a beggar and a king. A beggar is always seeking, always grasping, always afraid

seeking, always grasping, always afraid of not having enough. A king gives

of not having enough. A king gives freely, lives generously, acts from a

freely, lives generously, acts from a sense of abundance. Not because the king

sense of abundance. Not because the king has more possessions than the beggar,

has more possessions than the beggar, though he might, but because the king

though he might, but because the king has a different relationship to what he

has a different relationship to what he has. The king knows he's a king while

has. The king knows he's a king while the beggar believes he's a beggar. And

the beggar believes he's a beggar. And this is the difference between living

this is the difference between living from the truth of our completeness and

from the truth of our completeness and living from the illusion of our

living from the illusion of our incompleteness.

incompleteness. It's not about what we have or don't

It's not about what we have or don't have, what we do or don't do. It's about

have, what we do or don't do. It's about how we relate to life, to ourselves, to

how we relate to life, to ourselves, to each other. When we live from the truth

each other. When we live from the truth of our completeness, we no longer need

of our completeness, we no longer need to prove anything. We no longer need to

to prove anything. We no longer need to achieve anything. We no longer need to

achieve anything. We no longer need to become anything. We're free to simply be

become anything. We're free to simply be and to let our doing arise naturally

and to let our doing arise naturally from our being. This doesn't mean that

from our being. This doesn't mean that we become passive or indifferent. On the

we become passive or indifferent. On the contrary, we become more engaged, more

contrary, we become more engaged, more alive, more present to each moment

alive, more present to each moment because we are no longer distracted by

because we are no longer distracted by the endless quest for self-improvement,

the endless quest for self-improvement, self-fulfillment, self-realization.

self-fulfillment, self-realization. We are free to be fully here, fully now.

We are free to be fully here, fully now. And paradoxically, when we stop trying

And paradoxically, when we stop trying to improve ourselves, we often find that

to improve ourselves, we often find that improvement happens naturally. When we

improvement happens naturally. When we stop trying to become better people, we

stop trying to become better people, we often become better people. When we stop

often become better people. When we stop trying to find happiness, we often find

trying to find happiness, we often find that happiness finds us. Not because

that happiness finds us. Not because we've achieved anything, but because

we've achieved anything, but because we've stopped getting in our own way.

we've stopped getting in our own way. The Daist sage Trang Su tells a story

The Daist sage Trang Su tells a story about this. There was a man who was so

about this. There was a man who was so obsessed with finding the perfect gold

obsessed with finding the perfect gold that he hired an expert to teach him how

that he hired an expert to teach him how to recognize it. The expert taught him

to recognize it. The expert taught him everything he knew. But the man was

everything he knew. But the man was still uncertain. So he spent years

still uncertain. So he spent years studying gold, analyzing gold, testing

studying gold, analyzing gold, testing gold. And after many years, he finally

gold. And after many years, he finally became an expert himself. But then he

became an expert himself. But then he realized something. All that time he'd

realized something. All that time he'd been surrounded by gold. It was in the

been surrounded by gold. It was in the rings on his fingers, the coins in his

rings on his fingers, the coins in his pocket, the ornaments in his home. He'd

pocket, the ornaments in his home. He'd been so busy looking for the perfect

been so busy looking for the perfect gold that he'd failed to notice the gold

gold that he'd failed to notice the gold that was already in his possession. And

that was already in his possession. And so it is with us. We're so busy seeking

so it is with us. We're so busy seeking enlightenment, seeking awakening,

enlightenment, seeking awakening, seeking spiritual perfection that we

seeking spiritual perfection that we fail to notice the enlightenment, the

fail to notice the enlightenment, the awakening, the spiritual perfection

awakening, the spiritual perfection that's already here, already now,

that's already here, already now, already us. Living from the truth of the

already us. Living from the truth of the already complete doesn't mean that we

already complete doesn't mean that we have all the answers, that we never make

have all the answers, that we never make mistakes, that we are somehow perfect in

mistakes, that we are somehow perfect in a conventional sense. It means that we

a conventional sense. It means that we recognize the perfection that underlies

recognize the perfection that underlies all the apparent imperfections.

all the apparent imperfections. It means that we see the Buddha nature,

It means that we see the Buddha nature, the Christ consciousness, the atman, the

the Christ consciousness, the atman, the Dao, whatever term you prefer in

Dao, whatever term you prefer in ourselves and in all beings. And from

ourselves and in all beings. And from this recognition arises a natural

this recognition arises a natural compassion, a natural wisdom, a natural

compassion, a natural wisdom, a natural joy, not because we've cultivated these

joy, not because we've cultivated these qualities, but because they're inherent

qualities, but because they're inherent in our true nature. They're what remains

in our true nature. They're what remains when the illusion of the separate self

when the illusion of the separate self falls away. So living the truth of the

falls away. So living the truth of the already complete is not a matter of

already complete is not a matter of achieving some special state or

achieving some special state or acquiring some special knowledge. It's a

acquiring some special knowledge. It's a matter of recognizing what's already the

matter of recognizing what's already the case. It's a matter of waking up from

case. It's a matter of waking up from the dream of incompleteness to the

the dream of incompleteness to the reality of completeness. It's a matter

reality of completeness. It's a matter of seeing that the search is over

of seeing that the search is over because there was never anything to find

because there was never anything to find because you never lost what you are. As

because you never lost what you are. As we come to the end of our time together,

we come to the end of our time together, I want to leave you with a simple

I want to leave you with a simple invitation. An invitation to stop. Stop

invitation. An invitation to stop. Stop seeking. Stop striving. Stop trying to

seeking. Stop striving. Stop trying to become something other than what you

become something other than what you are. And in that stopping, in that

are. And in that stopping, in that stillness, see what's already here. You

stillness, see what's already here. You see, the truth that you don't want to

see, the truth that you don't want to face, the truth that I've been pointing

face, the truth that I've been pointing to throughout our conversation is that

to throughout our conversation is that your search has already ended. Not

your search has already ended. Not because you found what you were looking

because you found what you were looking for, but because you've recognized that

for, but because you've recognized that you never lost it in the first place.

you never lost it in the first place. The enlightenment you seek is not

The enlightenment you seek is not something to be achieved. It's something

something to be achieved. It's something to be recognized. The awakening you long

to be recognized. The awakening you long for is not a future state. It's the

for is not a future state. It's the recognition of your present nature. The

recognition of your present nature. The wholeness you crave is not something to

wholeness you crave is not something to be attained. It's the truth of what you

be attained. It's the truth of what you already are. And this recognition is

already are. And this recognition is available right now in this very moment.

available right now in this very moment. Not after years of practice, not after

Not after years of practice, not after finding the perfect teacher, not after

finding the perfect teacher, not after reading all the books, but now here

reading all the books, but now here this. So I invite you to stop just for a

this. So I invite you to stop just for a moment. Stop the search. Stop the

moment. Stop the search. Stop the striving. Stop the becoming. And in that

striving. Stop the becoming. And in that stopping, in that stillness, see what's

stopping, in that stillness, see what's already here. See the awareness that you

already here. See the awareness that you are. See the consciousness in which all

are. See the consciousness in which all experience arises.

experience arises. See the light that never dims, the

See the light that never dims, the presence that never departs, the being

presence that never departs, the being that you have always been. This is the

that you have always been. This is the truth you don't want to face. That

truth you don't want to face. That there's nothing to seek because there's

there's nothing to seek because there's nothing to find because there's nothing

nothing to find because there's nothing to lose. That the seeker is the sort.

to lose. That the seeker is the sort. That you are what you're looking for.

That you are what you're looking for. And in the recognition of this truth,

And in the recognition of this truth, the search naturally comes to an end.

the search naturally comes to an end. Not because you've achieved anything,

Not because you've achieved anything, but because you've seen through the

but because you've seen through the illusion that was driving the search in

illusion that was driving the search in the first place. So, let's end where we

the first place. So, let's end where we began with that delicious cosmic joke.

began with that delicious cosmic joke. You're already riding on the very ox

You're already riding on the very ox you're searching for. You're already

you're searching for. You're already swimming in the water you're dying of

swimming in the water you're dying of thirst for. You're already home in the

thirst for. You're already home in the place you're desperately trying to

place you're desperately trying to reach. And the only thing that's ever

reach. And the only thing that's ever prevented you from seeing this is the

prevented you from seeing this is the very act of seeking itself. So stop

very act of seeking itself. So stop seeking and see. Stop becoming and be.

seeking and see. Stop becoming and be. Stop journeying and arrive. For the

Stop journeying and arrive. For the truth is you've never left home. You've

truth is you've never left home. You've never been anywhere but here. You've

never been anywhere but here. You've never been anyone but who you are. And

never been anyone but who you are. And in this recognition, the search ends.

in this recognition, the search ends. The struggle ceases. And what remains is

The struggle ceases. And what remains is the simple joy of being complete,

the simple joy of being complete, perfect, whole, just as you are.

The most curious fact about our existence is not that we will someday

existence is not that we will someday die, but that we are here at all. Have

die, but that we are here at all. Have you ever considered what an

you ever considered what an extraordinary privilege it is to be able

extraordinary privilege it is to be able to die?

to die? Because to die, you must first have been

Because to die, you must first have been born and existed.

born and existed. Most people spend their lives running

Most people spend their lives running from death as if it were some kind of

from death as if it were some kind of cosmic mistake rather than the very

cosmic mistake rather than the very thing that gives life its poignency, its

thing that gives life its poignency, its beauty, and its meaning. What if I told

beauty, and its meaning. What if I told you that your fear of death is based on

you that your fear of death is based on a profound misunderstanding not just of

a profound misunderstanding not just of what death is, but of what you are? You

what death is, but of what you are? You see, the fundamental error we make is

see, the fundamental error we make is thinking of ourselves as something

thinking of ourselves as something separate from the universe.

separate from the universe. We've been taught to believe that we are

We've been taught to believe that we are these isolated entities, these little

these isolated entities, these little conscious beings peering out at a world

conscious beings peering out at a world that's foreign to us. But this is a

that's foreign to us. But this is a hallucination.

hallucination. Your body didn't come into this world.

Your body didn't come into this world. It came out of it just as an apple comes

It came out of it just as an apple comes out of an apple tree. You are not a

out of an apple tree. You are not a stranger here. You are a manifestation

stranger here. You are a manifestation of the whole universe expressing itself

of the whole universe expressing itself at a particular point in space and time.

at a particular point in space and time. The universe isn't something separate

The universe isn't something separate from you. It's what you're made of. And

from you. It's what you're made of. And this cosmic game we're playing, this

this cosmic game we're playing, this magnificent hideand seek involves

magnificent hideand seek involves forgetting our eternal nature. We

forgetting our eternal nature. We pretend that we're just these temporary

pretend that we're just these temporary beings wandering around on a lonely

beings wandering around on a lonely planet. As I've often said, we suffer

planet. As I've often said, we suffer from a hallucination, a delusion that

from a hallucination, a delusion that we're merely individuals separated from

we're merely individuals separated from our source.

our source. Death frightens those who have never

Death frightens those who have never understood what life actually is.

understood what life actually is. If you believe yourself to be merely a

If you believe yourself to be merely a fragment, then of course you fear being

fragment, then of course you fear being broken.

broken. But what if you are the whole? What if

But what if you are the whole? What if your true identity is not this temporary

your true identity is not this temporary pattern but the eternal process that

pattern but the eternal process that creates and dissolves all patterns?

creates and dissolves all patterns? Then there would be nothing to fear

Then there would be nothing to fear because nothing essential could ever be

because nothing essential could ever be lost. Now let's consider time. That

lost. Now let's consider time. That mysterious something which seems to flow

mysterious something which seems to flow from the past through the present and

from the past through the present and into the future.

into the future. But what a peculiar thing time is.

But what a peculiar thing time is. Have you ever actually experienced the

Have you ever actually experienced the past?

past? No, you've only ever experienced

No, you've only ever experienced memories and those memories exist now.

memories and those memories exist now. Have you ever experienced the future?

Have you ever experienced the future? No, only anticipations and those

No, only anticipations and those anticipations exist now. Plato called

anticipations exist now. Plato called time the moving image of eternity.

time the moving image of eternity. What a beautiful way to put it. It's as

What a beautiful way to put it. It's as if eternity, which is timelessness, is

if eternity, which is timelessness, is playing the game of time.

playing the game of time. Like the ocean, which is essentially

Like the ocean, which is essentially formless, is playing the game of waves.

formless, is playing the game of waves. But we've become hypnotized by clocks,

But we've become hypnotized by clocks, by calendars, by this mechanical notion

by calendars, by this mechanical notion that time is something that passes.

that time is something that passes. We've forgotten that now is the only

We've forgotten that now is the only moment that ever exists.

moment that ever exists. The past exists as memory in the now.

The past exists as memory in the now. The future exists as anticipation in the

The future exists as anticipation in the now.

now. There is only now. And here's something

There is only now. And here's something fascinating. You cannot leave the

fascinating. You cannot leave the eternal now any more than you can leave

eternal now any more than you can leave the universe.

the universe. No matter how many years pass, you will

No matter how many years pass, you will always be here now.

always be here now. Even as you're listening to my words,

Even as you're listening to my words, where are you? You're here.

where are you? You're here. When are you? You're now. And you always

When are you? You're now. And you always will be. This is eternity disguised as

will be. This is eternity disguised as time. The western mind is curiously

time. The western mind is curiously obsessed with continuity.

obsessed with continuity. We want everything to keep going, to

We want everything to keep going, to persist, to remain the same. Our whole

persist, to remain the same. Our whole culture is built on preserving,

culture is built on preserving, protecting, maintaining.

protecting, maintaining. But in the east, particularly in Hindu

But in the east, particularly in Hindu and Buddhist thought, there's a profound

and Buddhist thought, there's a profound recognition that change itself is the

recognition that change itself is the only constant.

only constant. Consider this. Have you ever experienced

Consider this. Have you ever experienced unconsciousness?

unconsciousness? Of course not, because experience

Of course not, because experience requires consciousness.

requires consciousness. You've never experienced going to sleep

You've never experienced going to sleep only lying down and then suddenly it's

only lying down and then suddenly it's morning. You've never experienced being

morning. You've never experienced being under anesthesia only counting backward

under anesthesia only counting backward and then waking up in recovery.

and then waking up in recovery. And in the same way, you cannot

And in the same way, you cannot experience your own death because

experience your own death because consciousness cannot experience its own

consciousness cannot experience its own absence.

absence. Now, isn't that curious?

Now, isn't that curious? The thing we fear most is the one thing

The thing we fear most is the one thing we can never actually experience.

we can never actually experience. What a cosmic joke. What we call death

What a cosmic joke. What we call death is simply transformation.

is simply transformation. Just as a wave doesn't die, but simply

Just as a wave doesn't die, but simply changes form, returning to the ocean

changes form, returning to the ocean from which it arose. Our consciousness

from which it arose. Our consciousness doesn't terminate but transforms.

doesn't terminate but transforms. The pattern changes, but the underlying

The pattern changes, but the underlying reality remains.

reality remains. As I often say, you are not a thing but

As I often say, you are not a thing but a process. And processes don't end, they

a process. And processes don't end, they transform.

transform. Now, let's look at something truly

Now, let's look at something truly strange.

strange. Most people live as if the present

Most people live as if the present moment were some kind of obstacle to be

moment were some kind of obstacle to be overcome on the way to the future.

overcome on the way to the future. Isn't that odd? The only moment in which

Isn't that odd? The only moment in which we ever live is treated as a stepping

we ever live is treated as a stepping stone to some imagined better moment.

stone to some imagined better moment. When I graduate, then I'll be happy.

When I graduate, then I'll be happy. When I get that promotion, then I'll

When I get that promotion, then I'll relax.

relax. When I retire, then I'll really start

When I retire, then I'll really start living. But of course, when those

living. But of course, when those moments arrive, we're already looking

moments arrive, we're already looking ahead to the next thing. It's a trap,

ahead to the next thing. It's a trap, you see. We are constantly sacrificing

you see. We are constantly sacrificing the present on the altar of the future,

the present on the altar of the future, a future that never actually arrives

a future that never actually arrives because when it does, it's the present.

because when it does, it's the present. And so we spend our entire lives

And so we spend our entire lives preparing to live instead of actually

preparing to live instead of actually living. There's a wonderful Zen saying

living. There's a wonderful Zen saying when walking just walk. When eating just

when walking just walk. When eating just eat. How rarely we do this. We're

eat. How rarely we do this. We're walking but thinking about lunch.

walking but thinking about lunch. We're eating lunch but thinking about

We're eating lunch but thinking about our afternoon appointments.

our afternoon appointments. And in this way we never fully inhabit

And in this way we never fully inhabit our own lives.

our own lives. And here's a supreme irony. We think

And here's a supreme irony. We think we're saving time, but in fact, we're

we're saving time, but in fact, we're wasting it completely

wasting it completely because time is experience. And if

because time is experience. And if you're not experiencing the present

you're not experiencing the present fully, you're not experiencing time at

fully, you're not experiencing time at all. You're just sleepwalking, dreaming

all. You're just sleepwalking, dreaming of a tomorrow that will be exactly like

of a tomorrow that will be exactly like today unless you wake up. Now, what is

today unless you wake up. Now, what is it exactly that fears death? It's not

it exactly that fears death? It's not your body. Because your body is

your body. Because your body is incredibly wise and knows perfectly well

incredibly wise and knows perfectly well how to be born and how to die.

how to be born and how to die. Your body isn't afraid of death any more

Your body isn't afraid of death any more than a leaf is afraid of falling from a

than a leaf is afraid of falling from a tree in autumn. No, what fears death is

tree in autumn. No, what fears death is what I call the ego. That phantom self,

what I call the ego. That phantom self, that narrative identity that believes

that narrative identity that believes itself to be separate from everything

itself to be separate from everything else.

else. The ego is like a circle drawn on the

The ego is like a circle drawn on the surface of water. It's a convenient

surface of water. It's a convenient fiction, a useful social convention, but

fiction, a useful social convention, but it has no substantial reality.

it has no substantial reality. And yet, we've made the extraordinary

And yet, we've made the extraordinary mistake of identifying ourselves

mistake of identifying ourselves completely with this phantom.

completely with this phantom. I am Alan Watts, I say, as if that name

I am Alan Watts, I say, as if that name and that story were the totality of what

and that story were the totality of what I am. But that's as absurd as if a wave

I am. But that's as absurd as if a wave were to say, I am this particular wave

were to say, I am this particular wave and not the ocean.

and not the ocean. The futility of self-preservation

The futility of self-preservation becomes obvious when we realize there is

becomes obvious when we realize there is no permanent self to preserve.

no permanent self to preserve. The self is a process, not a thing. And

The self is a process, not a thing. And when we let go of our desperate clinging

when we let go of our desperate clinging to this phantom self, we discover

to this phantom self, we discover something quite astonishing, something

something quite astonishing, something that cannot be lost because it was never

that cannot be lost because it was never really gained.

really gained. Our true nature which has been here all

Our true nature which has been here all along.

along. So what shall we do about this

So what shall we do about this predicament?

predicament? I'd like to suggest the practice of

I'd like to suggest the practice of conscious surrender. of the art of dying

conscious surrender. of the art of dying while living. You see, life gives us

while living. You see, life gives us countless opportunities to practice

countless opportunities to practice letting go. Each exhale is a little

letting go. Each exhale is a little death, each sleep a little death, each

death, each sleep a little death, each ending a little death. And we can

ending a little death. And we can approach these small deaths not with

approach these small deaths not with fear and resistance, but with curiosity

fear and resistance, but with curiosity and surrender.

and surrender. There's a marvelous Zen practice called

There's a marvelous Zen practice called dying to each moment fully.

dying to each moment fully. It means completely letting go of each

It means completely letting go of each experience as it passes.

experience as it passes. Not clinging to pleasant sensations, not

Not clinging to pleasant sensations, not pushing away unpleasant ones, but

pushing away unpleasant ones, but allowing each moment to be born, to

allowing each moment to be born, to live, and to die completely.

live, and to die completely. When you watch a beautiful sunset, can

When you watch a beautiful sunset, can you appreciate its radiance without

you appreciate its radiance without frantically trying to hold on to it? Can

frantically trying to hold on to it? Can you let it go completely, making room

you let it go completely, making room for the night sky with its own

for the night sky with its own particular beauty? This is dying while

particular beauty? This is dying while living. And as we practice this art,

living. And as we practice this art, something remarkable happens.

something remarkable happens. We discover that letting go is not a

We discover that letting go is not a loss at all, but a profound liberation.

loss at all, but a profound liberation. As if we've been clutching a fistful of

As if we've been clutching a fistful of air for our entire lives and finally

air for our entire lives and finally opened our hand to discover the whole

opened our hand to discover the whole sky.

sky. Now, let's clear up a fundamental

Now, let's clear up a fundamental misconception about what eternal means.

misconception about what eternal means. Most people think that eternity is time

Most people think that eternity is time going on and on and on without end. But

going on and on and on without end. But that's not eternity at all. That's just

that's not eternity at all. That's just perpetuity. And what a nightmare that

perpetuity. And what a nightmare that would be. Can you imagine being the same

would be. Can you imagine being the same person with the same memories, the same

person with the same memories, the same limitations going on forever and ever?

limitations going on forever and ever? Why, that wouldn't be heaven. That would

Why, that wouldn't be heaven. That would be hell. As the Greek myth of Tythonus

be hell. As the Greek myth of Tythonus shows us, immortality without

shows us, immortality without transformation would be an unbearable

transformation would be an unbearable burden.

burden. No, eternity is not endless time.

No, eternity is not endless time. Eternity is the dimension of depth in

Eternity is the dimension of depth in the here and now. It exists, if you

the here and now. It exists, if you will, perpendicular to time, not

will, perpendicular to time, not parallel with it. It's like the

parallel with it. It's like the difference between watching a river flow

difference between watching a river flow by and diving into its depths.

by and diving into its depths. The temporal experience is watching the

The temporal experience is watching the river flow moment after moment. The

river flow moment after moment. The eternal experience is diving into the

eternal experience is diving into the present moment so completely that time

present moment so completely that time stops.

stops. Not in the sense of a clock stopping,

Not in the sense of a clock stopping, but in the sense that you step out of

but in the sense that you step out of the stream of time into the ocean of the

the stream of time into the ocean of the now. Life and death are not opposites,

now. Life and death are not opposites, but partners in a dance.

but partners in a dance. Just as sound requires silence, just as

Just as sound requires silence, just as light requires darkness, existence

light requires darkness, existence requires non-existence.

requires non-existence. They define each other, create each

They define each other, create each other, make each other possible.

other, make each other possible. I've often said that life needs death as

I've often said that life needs death as the ocean needs waves.

the ocean needs waves. Without the constant movement, the

Without the constant movement, the continuous change, the ocean would be a

continuous change, the ocean would be a static pool, not a living sea. The waves

static pool, not a living sea. The waves must rise and the waves must fall for

must rise and the waves must fall for the ocean to be what it is. And so it is

the ocean to be what it is. And so it is with the cosmic process.

with the cosmic process. Creation and destruction, being and

Creation and destruction, being and non-being, are not enemies, but rather

non-being, are not enemies, but rather two aspects of the same eternal dance.

two aspects of the same eternal dance. The Sanskrit word leela means divine

The Sanskrit word leela means divine play, cosmic game. And that's exactly

play, cosmic game. And that's exactly what this is.

what this is. Think of it this way. When you go to a

Think of it this way. When you go to a concert, what are you there for? The

concert, what are you there for? The sounds. Yes. But without the silences

sounds. Yes. But without the silences between, there would be no music, only

between, there would be no music, only noise.

noise. It's the relationship between sound and

It's the relationship between sound and silence that creates the symphony.

silence that creates the symphony. And our lives are just such a symphony

And our lives are just such a symphony played in the concert hall of eternity.

played in the concert hall of eternity. What happens when we begin to transcend

What happens when we begin to transcend our narrow individual perspective?

our narrow individual perspective? When we cease to identify exclusively

When we cease to identify exclusively with this temporary pattern called me

with this temporary pattern called me and recognize our deeper identity with

and recognize our deeper identity with the whole cosmic process.

the whole cosmic process. I'll tell you what happens. Liberation

I'll tell you what happens. Liberation happens.

happens. The Hindus call it moka. The Buddhists

The Hindus call it moka. The Buddhists call it nirvana. But these are just

call it nirvana. But these are just words pointing to an experience that

words pointing to an experience that transcends all concepts.

transcends all concepts. When you realize that you are not merely

When you realize that you are not merely this fragile body, this limited mind,

this fragile body, this limited mind, this particular story, but rather the

this particular story, but rather the entire process that gives rise to all

entire process that gives rise to all bodies, all minds, all stories, then

bodies, all minds, all stories, then what is there to fear?

what is there to fear? It's as if you've been watching

It's as if you've been watching characters in a play, completely

characters in a play, completely identified with their dramas, their

identified with their dramas, their hopes and fears, and suddenly you

hopes and fears, and suddenly you remember that you're not just one of the

remember that you're not just one of the characters, but also the playright, the

characters, but also the playright, the director, the stage, the theater itself.

director, the stage, the theater itself. This recognition dissolves the fear of

This recognition dissolves the fear of death, not because we've convinced

death, not because we've convinced ourselves of some comfortable story

ourselves of some comfortable story about the afterlife, but because we've

about the afterlife, but because we've seen through the fundamental illusion

seen through the fundamental illusion that we were ever separate from the

that we were ever separate from the eternal in the first place. The freedom

eternal in the first place. The freedom that comes when we stop clinging to

that comes when we stop clinging to particular manifestations is not freedom

particular manifestations is not freedom from something, but freedom to be

from something, but freedom to be everything. As the Upanishads say,

everything. As the Upanishads say, tatwamasi,

tatwamasi, thou art that.

thou art that. You are not merely a drop in the ocean.

You are not merely a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop. So

You are the entire ocean in a drop. So how do we bring this understanding into

how do we bring this understanding into our daily lives?

our daily lives? How do we live as if we were already

How do we live as if we were already eternal? First, by practicing complete

eternal? First, by practicing complete presence.

presence. When you eat an orange, be nothing but

When you eat an orange, be nothing but eating an orange.

eating an orange. Feel the weight of it in your hand. The

Feel the weight of it in your hand. The texture of the peel, the scent that

texture of the peel, the scent that rises as you break the skin.

rises as you break the skin. Taste it not as a concept, not as

Taste it not as a concept, not as something you've eaten a thousand times

something you've eaten a thousand times before, but as this unique experience

before, but as this unique experience happening now for the first and last

happening now for the first and last time. Second, by recognizing the

time. Second, by recognizing the extraordinary in the ordinary.

extraordinary in the ordinary. Look at a tree not as a thing, but as an

Look at a tree not as a thing, but as an event.

event. This tree is not a static object, but a

This tree is not a static object, but a process, a dance of energy that began in

process, a dance of energy that began in a star billions of years ago.

a star billions of years ago. The sunlight, the water, the soil, the

The sunlight, the water, the soil, the air all coming together in this

air all coming together in this magnificent gesture we call tree.

magnificent gesture we call tree. Third, by letting go of the desperate

Third, by letting go of the desperate search for security and permanence.

search for security and permanence. When you truly understand that

When you truly understand that everything flows, everything changes,

everything flows, everything changes, you stop trying to hold on to what

you stop trying to hold on to what cannot be held. And in that letting go,

cannot be held. And in that letting go, you find not insecurity, but the

you find not insecurity, but the ultimate security of being one with the

ultimate security of being one with the process itself.

process itself. Those who live fully are already

Those who live fully are already dwelling in eternity.

dwelling in eternity. Not because they found some secret

Not because they found some secret formula for extending life indefinitely,

formula for extending life indefinitely, but because they've discovered the

but because they've discovered the timeless dimension in the heart of the

timeless dimension in the heart of the present moment. You know, when you come

present moment. You know, when you come right down to it, the fear of death is

right down to it, the fear of death is really the fear of life.

really the fear of life. We're afraid to live fully because we

We're afraid to live fully because we know that everything we love, everything

know that everything we love, everything we cherish will someday change form.

we cherish will someday change form. And so we hold back. We hedge our bets.

And so we hold back. We hedge our bets. We keep part of ourselves in reserve.

We keep part of ourselves in reserve. But what a tragic mistake this is.

But what a tragic mistake this is. It's like refusing to dance for fear

It's like refusing to dance for fear that the music will eventually end.

that the music will eventually end. Of course, the music will end. That's

Of course, the music will end. That's what gives the dance its poignency, its

what gives the dance its poignency, its beauty, its meaning.

beauty, its meaning. So I invite you to consider a radical

So I invite you to consider a radical possibility.

possibility. What if you are already eternal? Not in

What if you are already eternal? Not in the sense that your particular form will

the sense that your particular form will persist forever, but in the deeper sense

persist forever, but in the deeper sense that what you truly are has never been

that what you truly are has never been born and will never die. What if your

born and will never die. What if your essential nature is not this temporary

essential nature is not this temporary configuration of flesh and thought, but

configuration of flesh and thought, but the underlying consciousness from which

the underlying consciousness from which all forms arise and to which all forms

all forms arise and to which all forms return?

return? What if, in the words of the Upanishads,

What if, in the words of the Upanishads, that which is the finest essence, this

that which is the finest essence, this whole world has that as its soul, that

whole world has that as its soul, that is reality,

is reality, that is the self, that art thou.

that is the self, that art thou. If this were true, how would you live?

If this were true, how would you live? Would you continue to postpone joy, to

Would you continue to postpone joy, to hold back love, to live in fear,

hold back love, to live in fear, or would you dive fully and completely

or would you dive fully and completely into the astonishing miracle of being

into the astonishing miracle of being alive? right here, right now.

alive? right here, right now. I suggest that we stop thinking of

I suggest that we stop thinking of ourselves as beings who will someday

ourselves as beings who will someday become eternal and recognize that we are

become eternal and recognize that we are eternal beings already in the process of

eternal beings already in the process of experiencing a human life. And with that

experiencing a human life. And with that recognition comes an extraordinary

recognition comes an extraordinary freedom. The freedom to live not

freedom. The freedom to live not cautiously but wholeheartedly.

cautiously but wholeheartedly. The freedom to love, not guardedly, but

The freedom to love, not guardedly, but completely.

completely. the freedom to be not what we think we

the freedom to be not what we think we should be but what we already are in our

should be but what we already are in our deepest nature. So I ask you, what would

deepest nature. So I ask you, what would it mean to live as if you were already

it mean to live as if you were already eternal?

eternal? Not as a belief to cling to, but as an

Not as a belief to cling to, but as an experience to embody.

experience to embody. What would change if you recognized that

What would change if you recognized that what you truly are cannot be threatened,

what you truly are cannot be threatened, cannot be diminished, cannot be lost?

cannot be diminished, cannot be lost? Perhaps in the end, the secret of life

Perhaps in the end, the secret of life is simply this. To live each moment with

is simply this. To live each moment with the same openness, the same wholehearted

the same openness, the same wholehearted presence, the same radical acceptance

presence, the same radical acceptance with which, when the time comes, we will

with which, when the time comes, we will meet our own death.

meet our own death. For in truth, they are not two different

For in truth, they are not two different things, life and death, but one

things, life and death, but one continuous dance of being and becoming.

continuous dance of being and becoming. And so, my friends, go forth not as

And so, my friends, go forth not as frightened mortals, but as the eternal

frightened mortals, but as the eternal itself, playing at being human for a

itself, playing at being human for a little while.

little while. Dance your dance, sing your song, love

Dance your dance, sing your song, love your loves, and when the time comes to

your loves, and when the time comes to return to the source, do so with the

return to the source, do so with the same grace with which a wave returns to

same grace with which a wave returns to the ocean. Not as a tragedy, but as a

the ocean. Not as a tragedy, but as a homecoming,

homecoming, not as an end, but as a completion.

not as an end, but as a completion. For that, after all, is what it means to

For that, after all, is what it means to live as if you were already eternal.

live as if you were already eternal. Because you are.

The most profound truth about human existence might be this. We're terrified

existence might be this. We're terrified of precisely what makes life worth

of precisely what makes life worth living.

living. the mystery,

the mystery, the uncertainty,

the uncertainty, the vast unknown that surrounds our tiny

the vast unknown that surrounds our tiny island of knowledge.

island of knowledge. We build elaborate fortresses of

We build elaborate fortresses of certainty only to find ourselves

certainty only to find ourselves imprisoned within them. What an

imprisoned within them. What an extraordinary paradox.

extraordinary paradox. The very walls we construct for safety

The very walls we construct for safety become the barriers that separate us

become the barriers that separate us from life itself.

from life itself. I'd like to suggest something rather

I'd like to suggest something rather radical today.

radical today. What if this boundary between the known

What if this boundary between the known and the unknown is entirely of our own

and the unknown is entirely of our own making? What if the division itself is

making? What if the division itself is the very source of our suffering?

the very source of our suffering? Let's explore together this fascinating

Let's explore together this fascinating dance between certainty and mystery and

dance between certainty and mystery and perhaps discover what lies beyond this

perhaps discover what lies beyond this fundamental duality.

fundamental duality. You see, we've been trained since

You see, we've been trained since childhood to divide the world into neat

childhood to divide the world into neat little boxes.

little boxes. This is known, that is unknown.

This is known, that is unknown. This is safe. That is dangerous.

This is safe. That is dangerous. This is me. That is not me. And we

This is me. That is not me. And we believe these divisions are real. That

believe these divisions are real. That they exist somewhere out there in the

they exist somewhere out there in the world itself.

world itself. But do they look at your hand for a

But do they look at your hand for a moment? You say, "This is my hand."

moment? You say, "This is my hand." But where exactly does your hand end and

But where exactly does your hand end and the rest of the world begin?

the rest of the world begin? At your wrist,

At your wrist, but that's connected to your arm. at

but that's connected to your arm. at your fingertips.

your fingertips. But those fingernails were once part of

But those fingernails were once part of your diet, weren't they? And the air

your diet, weren't they? And the air between your fingers, is that you or not

between your fingers, is that you or not you? The truth is, these boundaries we

you? The truth is, these boundaries we create are conventional, practical, but

create are conventional, practical, but ultimately arbitrary.

ultimately arbitrary. The known and the unknown aren't two

The known and the unknown aren't two separate realms with a clear border

separate realms with a clear border between them. They're more like the

between them. They're more like the north and south poles of a single

north and south poles of a single magnet.

magnet. Try to cut the magnet in half to

Try to cut the magnet in half to separate these poles. And what happens?

separate these poles. And what happens? You don't get a north half and a south

You don't get a north half and a south half. You get two smaller magnets, each

half. You get two smaller magnets, each with its own north and south. In the

with its own north and south. In the same way, every bit of knowledge we

same way, every bit of knowledge we possess creates its own horizon of

possess creates its own horizon of mystery.

mystery. Every answer spawns new questions.

Every answer spawns new questions. The more we know, the more we realize

The more we know, the more we realize how much we don't know. Isn't that

how much we don't know. Isn't that fascinating?

fascinating? This artificial separation between the

This artificial separation between the known and the unknown is the first

known and the unknown is the first illusion we must recognize if we are to

illusion we must recognize if we are to move beyond duality.

move beyond duality. Because as long as we maintain this

Because as long as we maintain this division, we remain caught in an endless

division, we remain caught in an endless chase, forever trying to convert the

chase, forever trying to convert the unknown into the known as if we could

unknown into the known as if we could somehow someday eliminate mystery

somehow someday eliminate mystery entirely.

entirely. What a curious ambition, don't you

What a curious ambition, don't you think? as if life would be better

think? as if life would be better without surprise, without wonder,

without surprise, without wonder, without the delicious uncertainty that

without the delicious uncertainty that makes each moment fresh and new. Now,

makes each moment fresh and new. Now, what's particularly interesting is how

what's particularly interesting is how we've appointed fear as the guardian of

we've appointed fear as the guardian of this imaginary boundary.

this imaginary boundary. Fear stands at the edge of the known,

Fear stands at the edge of the known, warning us not to venture beyond.

warning us not to venture beyond. Stay here, it whispers, where things are

Stay here, it whispers, where things are familiar, predictable, safe.

familiar, predictable, safe. And we obey, don't we?

And we obey, don't we? most of the time at least.

most of the time at least. But why do we fear the unknown so

But why do we fear the unknown so profoundly?

profoundly? I've often thought it's because we've

I've often thought it's because we've convinced ourselves of a rather peculiar

convinced ourselves of a rather peculiar idea that we are somehow separate from

idea that we are somehow separate from this universe.

this universe. That we are little isolated egos,

That we are little isolated egos, fragile islands of consciousness in a

fragile islands of consciousness in a vast and potentially hostile sea of

vast and potentially hostile sea of otherness.

otherness. If you believe you're fundamentally

If you believe you're fundamentally separate from the universe, then of

separate from the universe, then of course the unknown appears threatening.

course the unknown appears threatening. It's alien territory, foreign soil, not

It's alien territory, foreign soil, not you. But what if you're not separate at

you. But what if you're not separate at all? What if you are the universe?

all? What if you are the universe? Not metaphorically, but but actually the

Not metaphorically, but but actually the universe experiencing itself from a

universe experiencing itself from a particular viewpoint, a unique locus of

particular viewpoint, a unique locus of consciousness.

consciousness. From this perspective, the unknown isn't

From this perspective, the unknown isn't something alien. It's simply another

something alien. It's simply another aspect of you that you haven't yet

aspect of you that you haven't yet recognized.

recognized. The fear begins to dissolve when we

The fear begins to dissolve when we realize that what we're afraid of is in

realize that what we're afraid of is in the deepest sense ourselves.

the deepest sense ourselves. I'm reminded of a Zen story about a man

I'm reminded of a Zen story about a man who awoke in the night terrified by a

who awoke in the night terrified by a shape in the darkness.

shape in the darkness. He was certain an intruder had entered

He was certain an intruder had entered his home. Heart pounding, he finally

his home. Heart pounding, he finally gathered the courage to light a lamply

gathered the courage to light a lamply to discover that the frightening shape

to discover that the frightening shape was simply his own robe hanging on a

was simply his own robe hanging on a hook.

hook. He laughed then realizing he had been

He laughed then realizing he had been afraid of himself all along.

afraid of himself all along. Isn't that precisely our situation?

Isn't that precisely our situation? We've forgotten our true nature and

We've forgotten our true nature and become afraid of our own shadow.

become afraid of our own shadow. The unknown terrifies us because we've

The unknown terrifies us because we've forgotten that it too is us. There's

forgotten that it too is us. There's something tremendously liberating in

something tremendously liberating in recognizing how the known and the

recognizing how the known and the unknown dance together defining each

unknown dance together defining each other. Like light and shadow, each gives

other. Like light and shadow, each gives the other meaning.

the other meaning. You see, you cannot have a concept of

You see, you cannot have a concept of known without simultaneously creating

known without simultaneously creating its opposite, the unknown.

its opposite, the unknown. They're born together like twins.

They're born together like twins. Every time you say, "I know this," you

Every time you say, "I know this," you are simultaneously admitting, "I don't

are simultaneously admitting, "I don't know everything else."

know everything else." Your island of knowledge, no matter how

Your island of knowledge, no matter how vast, will always be surrounded by an

vast, will always be surrounded by an ocean of mystery.

ocean of mystery. This is the fundamental pattern of

This is the fundamental pattern of duality. The yin-yang dance of opposites

duality. The yin-yang dance of opposites that appears throughout our experience

that appears throughout our experience inside and outside self and other

inside and outside self and other pleasure and pain life and dethatch pair

pleasure and pain life and dethatch pair arising together defining each other

arising together defining each other inseparable.

inseparable. The dowist sages understood this

The dowist sages understood this beautifully.

beautifully. They saw that good fortune and bad

They saw that good fortune and bad fortune aren't separate things but

fortune aren't separate things but phases in a single process like the

phases in a single process like the changing seasons.

changing seasons. There's that marvelous story of the

There's that marvelous story of the farmer whose horse ran away.

farmer whose horse ran away. Bad luck, said the neighbors.

Bad luck, said the neighbors. Maybe, replied the farmer. The next day,

Maybe, replied the farmer. The next day, the horse returned, bringing with it

the horse returned, bringing with it several wild horses.

several wild horses. Good luck, exclaimed the neighbors.

Good luck, exclaimed the neighbors. Maybe, said the farmer. Then his son

Maybe, said the farmer. Then his son broke his leg trying to ride one of the

broke his leg trying to ride one of the wild horses.

wild horses. Bad luck," said the neighbors.

Bad luck," said the neighbors. "Maybe," answered the farmer.

"Maybe," answered the farmer. The following day, military officials

The following day, military officials came to draft young men, but the son was

came to draft young men, but the son was spared due to his broken leg. "Good

spared due to his broken leg. "Good luck," said the neighbors. "Maybe," said

luck," said the neighbors. "Maybe," said the farmer. "Do you see how the known

the farmer. "Do you see how the known and unknown work together in exactly the

and unknown work together in exactly the same way? Every revelation conceals

same way? Every revelation conceals something new.

something new. Every answer births fresh questions.

Every answer births fresh questions. And this isn't a problem to be solved,

And this isn't a problem to be solved, but a rhythm to be danced with.

but a rhythm to be danced with. One of the most persistent illusions we

One of the most persistent illusions we maintain is the belief that knowledge

maintain is the belief that knowledge gives us control.

gives us control. If only I knew enough, we think I could

If only I knew enough, we think I could predict everything, prevent suffering,

predict everything, prevent suffering, master my circumstances.

master my circumstances. What a curious fantasy.

What a curious fantasy. Let me ask you something rather

Let me ask you something rather impertinent.

impertinent. Have you ever actually controlled

Have you ever actually controlled anything?

anything? I don't mean influenced or participated

I don't mean influenced or participated in. I mean genuinely controlled.

in. I mean genuinely controlled. Can you control your next thought? Try

Can you control your next thought? Try it.

it. Decide what your next thought will be.

Decide what your next thought will be. And then wait for it. But wait. If

And then wait for it. But wait. If you're waiting for it, who's producing

you're waiting for it, who's producing it? If you're truly in control, why

it? If you're truly in control, why wait? or perhaps try to control your

wait? or perhaps try to control your heartbeat, your digestion, the precise

heartbeat, your digestion, the precise firing of neurons that allows you to

firing of neurons that allows you to pick up a cup. You can't, can you? And

pick up a cup. You can't, can you? And yet, these processes proceed perfectly

yet, these processes proceed perfectly well without your supervision.

well without your supervision. The truth is, what we call control is

The truth is, what we call control is largely an afterthought, a story we tell

largely an afterthought, a story we tell ourselves after things have already

ourselves after things have already happened.

happened. The ego loves to claim credit for

The ego loves to claim credit for processes that unfold quite naturally

processes that unfold quite naturally without its interference.

without its interference. Like a child sitting in a car with a toy

Like a child sitting in a car with a toy steering wheel, convinced they're

steering wheel, convinced they're driving while the actual driver, life

driving while the actual driver, life itself, smiles knowingly.

itself, smiles knowingly. And this relates directly to our

And this relates directly to our relationship with the unknown.

relationship with the unknown. We seek knowledge not primarily for its

We seek knowledge not primarily for its own sake, but as a tool of control.

own sake, but as a tool of control. We want to convert the mysterious,

We want to convert the mysterious, unpredictable universe into something

unpredictable universe into something manageable, something safe. But in doing

manageable, something safe. But in doing so, we sacrifice something precious, the

so, we sacrifice something precious, the vibrant, spontaneous nature of reality

vibrant, spontaneous nature of reality itself.

itself. As I've often suggested, it's rather

As I've often suggested, it's rather like trying to catch a butterfly by

like trying to catch a butterfly by pinning it to a board. Yes, you now have

pinning it to a board. Yes, you now have the butterfly, but it's no longer a

the butterfly, but it's no longer a butterfly. It's a corpse.

butterfly. It's a corpse. Something essential has been lost in the

Something essential has been lost in the very act of possession.

very act of possession. In the same way, when we reduce the

In the same way, when we reduce the living mystery of existence to what we

living mystery of existence to what we think we know about it, we are left

think we know about it, we are left holding something dead. Perhaps true

holding something dead. Perhaps true wisdom begins with the humility to admit

wisdom begins with the humility to admit we don't control anything at all. And

we don't control anything at all. And strangely enough, there's tremendous

strangely enough, there's tremendous freedom in this recognition.

freedom in this recognition. Now, here's something truly marvelous

Now, here's something truly marvelous about the unknown. It's pregnant with

about the unknown. It's pregnant with possibility.

possibility. The blank canvas holds every potential

The blank canvas holds every potential painting. The silence contains every

painting. The silence contains every possible song. The uncarved block, as

possible song. The uncarved block, as the Dowists would say, holds every

the Dowists would say, holds every imaginable sculpture.

imaginable sculpture. This is what I call the creative void,

This is what I call the creative void, the fertile emptiness from which all

the fertile emptiness from which all forms emerge.

forms emerge. In eastern philosophy, particularly in

In eastern philosophy, particularly in Buddhism, this void isn't negative.

Buddhism, this void isn't negative. It isn't nothing in the sense of a

It isn't nothing in the sense of a barren absence.

barren absence. Rather, it's nothing in particular,

Rather, it's nothing in particular, which means it can become anything at

which means it can become anything at all. The Japanese have a beautiful

all. The Japanese have a beautiful concept called ma, the meaningful space

concept called ma, the meaningful space between things.

between things. It's the silence between musical notes

It's the silence between musical notes that gives rhythm its power.

that gives rhythm its power. It's the empty space in a room that

It's the empty space in a room that makes the room functional.

makes the room functional. It's the pause in conversation that

It's the pause in conversation that allows for reflection and deeper

allows for reflection and deeper understanding.

understanding. In the same way, the unknown in our

In the same way, the unknown in our lives isn't merely an absence of

lives isn't merely an absence of knowledge. It's a presence of potential.

knowledge. It's a presence of potential. It's not a void to be filled, but a

It's not a void to be filled, but a space to be respected, even cherished.

space to be respected, even cherished. Consider your own creativity.

Consider your own creativity. When you have a genuine insight or

When you have a genuine insight or inspiration, where does it come from?

inspiration, where does it come from? Not from the known surely,

Not from the known surely, not from what you already understand.

not from what you already understand. No, it bubbles up from somewhere deeper,

No, it bubbles up from somewhere deeper, somewhere mysterious, from the creative

somewhere mysterious, from the creative void within you. The greatest

void within you. The greatest scientists, artists, and spiritual

scientists, artists, and spiritual teachers have all acknowledged this

teachers have all acknowledged this truth. They don't create by mechanically

truth. They don't create by mechanically rearranging what they already know. They

rearranging what they already know. They create by opening themselves to what

create by opening themselves to what they don't know. by allowing themselves

they don't know. by allowing themselves to be vessels for something beyond their

to be vessels for something beyond their conscious understanding.

conscious understanding. What a paradox.

What a paradox. The unknown which we so often fear and

The unknown which we so often fear and avoid is actually the source of

avoid is actually the source of everything new, fresh, and alive in our

everything new, fresh, and alive in our experience.

experience. The very creativity we value so highly

The very creativity we value so highly depends on our willingness to embrace

depends on our willingness to embrace what we don't know.

what we don't know. Have you ever noticed how the most

Have you ever noticed how the most dogmatic certain people are often the

dogmatic certain people are often the least wise?

least wise? And conversely, how those with the

And conversely, how those with the deepest understanding tend to hold their

deepest understanding tend to hold their knowledge lightly with a kind of

knowledge lightly with a kind of humorous uncertainty?

humorous uncertainty? This is no accident. You see, there's a

This is no accident. You see, there's a profound paradox

profound paradox at the heart of knowledge.

at the heart of knowledge. The more certain you are that you know

The more certain you are that you know something, the more you've closed

something, the more you've closed yourself to learning anything new about

yourself to learning anything new about it.

it. Certainty is the end of inquiry, the

Certainty is the end of inquiry, the death of discovery.

death of discovery. And yet we chase it as if it were the

And yet we chase it as if it were the highest good. I'm reminded of a

highest good. I'm reminded of a delightful Zen saying, "In the

delightful Zen saying, "In the beginner's mind there are many

beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind

possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few." The expert has

there are few." The expert has categorized, labeled, filed away.

categorized, labeled, filed away. The beginner is still open, still

The beginner is still open, still curious, still capable of being

curious, still capable of being surprised.

surprised. Which do you suppose is closer to the

Which do you suppose is closer to the truth of things?

truth of things? We confuse confidence with

We confuse confidence with understanding.

understanding. We mistake the map for the territory.

We mistake the map for the territory. We forget that all our knowledge, all

We forget that all our knowledge, all our science, all our philosophy are

our science, all our philosophy are models of reality, not reality itself.

models of reality, not reality itself. Models are useful certainly, but the

Models are useful certainly, but the menu is not the meal. The blueprint is

menu is not the meal. The blueprint is not the building, and the word water

not the building, and the word water won't quench your thirst.

won't quench your thirst. The truly wise person knows that they

The truly wise person knows that they don't know. Not in the sense of being

don't know. Not in the sense of being ignorant, but in the deeper sense of

ignorant, but in the deeper sense of recognizing that reality always exceeds

recognizing that reality always exceeds our concepts about it. There's always

our concepts about it. There's always more to discover, always greater

more to discover, always greater subtlety and complexity than our current

subtlety and complexity than our current understanding can accommodate.

understanding can accommodate. Socrates was declared the wisest man in

Socrates was declared the wisest man in Athens because he alone admitted his

Athens because he alone admitted his ignorance.

ignorance. While others claimed certain knowledge,

While others claimed certain knowledge, he recognized the limitations of human

he recognized the limitations of human understanding.

understanding. I know that I know nothing, he said. And

I know that I know nothing, he said. And in that paradoxical statement lies

in that paradoxical statement lies profound wisdom.

profound wisdom. So perhaps we might hold our certainties

So perhaps we might hold our certainties a bit more lightly.

a bit more lightly. Perhaps we might cultivate a willingness

Perhaps we might cultivate a willingness to be wrong, to be surprised, to

to be wrong, to be surprised, to discover that things are not as we

discover that things are not as we thought.

thought. In this willingness lies the beginning

In this willingness lies the beginning of wisdom.

of wisdom. There's a curious thing that happens

There's a curious thing that happens when you stop fighting the unknown. When

when you stop fighting the unknown. When you cease trying to convert all mystery

you cease trying to convert all mystery into knowledge.

into knowledge. A kind of surrender occurs not a

A kind of surrender occurs not a defeated passive surrender but an active

defeated passive surrender but an active engaged yielding to what is.

engaged yielding to what is. And in this surrender paradoxically you

And in this surrender paradoxically you find extraordinary freedom.

find extraordinary freedom. It's rather like learning to swim.

It's rather like learning to swim. If you thrash about desperately trying

If you thrash about desperately trying to keep your head above water, you will

to keep your head above water, you will exhaust yourself and likely drown. But

exhaust yourself and likely drown. But if you relax, if you trust the buoyancy

if you relax, if you trust the buoyancy of the water and your body's natural

of the water and your body's natural capacity to float, swimming becomes

capacity to float, swimming becomes effortless, even joyful.

effortless, even joyful. This is what the Dowists call woo way,

This is what the Dowists call woo way, non-forcing, non-contending, acting in

non-forcing, non-contending, acting in harmony with the natural flow of things.

harmony with the natural flow of things. It's not passivity, but a kind of

It's not passivity, but a kind of intelligent yielding, like a skilled

intelligent yielding, like a skilled sailor who doesn't fight the wind, but

sailor who doesn't fight the wind, but works with it, even when sailing against

works with it, even when sailing against it. In our relationship with the

it. In our relationship with the unknown, this means releasing the

unknown, this means releasing the compulsive need to understand

compulsive need to understand everything, to have everything neatly

everything, to have everything neatly categorized and controlled.

categorized and controlled. It means allowing life to be what it is,

It means allowing life to be what it is, mysterious, unpredictable,

mysterious, unpredictable, surprising, without feeling threatened

surprising, without feeling threatened by this. When you surrender in this way,

by this. When you surrender in this way, something remarkable happens.

something remarkable happens. The energy you were using to maintain

The energy you were using to maintain the illusion of control becomes

the illusion of control becomes available for living. The attention that

available for living. The attention that was absorbed in anxiety about the future

was absorbed in anxiety about the future or regret about the past is freed for

or regret about the past is freed for full presence. Now you become available

full presence. Now you become available to life in a new way. And here's the

to life in a new way. And here's the most delicious irony. In surrendering

most delicious irony. In surrendering your demand to know, you often find

your demand to know, you often find yourself understanding more deeply than

yourself understanding more deeply than before.

before. Not with a grasping intellect that

Not with a grasping intellect that dissects and analyzes, but with a direct

dissects and analyzes, but with a direct intuitive comprehension that embraces

intuitive comprehension that embraces the whole. Like the difference between

the whole. Like the difference between studying a bird in a book and watching

studying a bird in a book and watching one in flight, both are valuable, but

one in flight, both are valuable, but only one puts you in direct contact with

only one puts you in direct contact with the living reality.

the living reality. This surrender isn't something you

This surrender isn't something you achieve once and for all.

achieve once and for all. It's a continuous letting go, a moment

It's a continuous letting go, a moment by moment yielding to what is.

by moment yielding to what is. And in this yielding lies true freedom,

And in this yielding lies true freedom, not the freedom to control, but the

not the freedom to control, but the freedom to be fully and without

freedom to be fully and without reservation.

reservation. The Zen tradition speaks beautifully

The Zen tradition speaks beautifully about what they call not knowing mind or

about what they call not knowing mind or beginner's mind. This isn't ignorance,

beginner's mind. This isn't ignorance, you understand, but something far more

you understand, but something far more subtle and profound.

subtle and profound. It's a mind that remains open, curious,

It's a mind that remains open, curious, unbburdened by preconception 7 in the

unbburdened by preconception 7 in the midst of great learning. I once met a

midst of great learning. I once met a Zen master who when asked about a

Zen master who when asked about a particularly difficult Coan simply

particularly difficult Coan simply smiled and said, "I don't know." But

smiled and said, "I don't know." But there was something in the way he said

there was something in the way he said it a sparkle in his eye, a quality of

it a sparkle in his eye, a quality of presence that made it clear this not

presence that made it clear this not knowing wasn't a deficiency, but a

knowing wasn't a deficiency, but a realization.

realization. He wasn't saying I lack this particular

He wasn't saying I lack this particular piece of information.

piece of information. He was demonstrating a way of being that

He was demonstrating a way of being that transcends the whole game of knowing and

transcends the whole game of knowing and not knowing. You see, most of us use

not knowing. You see, most of us use knowledge as a shield. We collect facts

knowledge as a shield. We collect facts and opinions and theories to protect

and opinions and theories to protect ourselves from the raw immediiacy of

ourselves from the raw immediiacy of experience from the vulnerability of

experience from the vulnerability of direct contact with reality.

direct contact with reality. Knowledge becomes a buffer, a way of

Knowledge becomes a buffer, a way of keeping life at arms length. But what if

keeping life at arms length. But what if we could meet each moment fresh without

we could meet each moment fresh without the filter of what we think we know?

the filter of what we think we know? What if we could see our spouse, our

What if we could see our spouse, our child, a sunset, a challenge, as if for

child, a sunset, a challenge, as if for the first time, not through the veil of

the first time, not through the veil of memory and expectation, but directly,

memory and expectation, but directly, nakedly.

nakedly. This is the invitation of not knowing

This is the invitation of not knowing mind to drop our preconceptions, our

mind to drop our preconceptions, our readymade interpretations, and simply be

readymade interpretations, and simply be with what is.

with what is. to allow ourselves to be surprised, to

to allow ourselves to be surprised, to be wrong, to discover that reality is

be wrong, to discover that reality is always more than our ideas about it.

always more than our ideas about it. There's a wonderful practice in Zen

There's a wonderful practice in Zen called Shoshin, which means beginner's

called Shoshin, which means beginner's mind.

mind. Even the most advanced practitioners

Even the most advanced practitioners return to this beginner's mind,

return to this beginner's mind, approaching each meditation, each task,

approaching each meditation, each task, each interaction as if it were entirely

each interaction as if it were entirely new.

new. not out of naive but out of the profound

not out of naive but out of the profound recognition that each moment is in fact

recognition that each moment is in fact unprecedented.

unprecedented. So perhaps wisdom isn't about

So perhaps wisdom isn't about accumulating more and more knowledge.

accumulating more and more knowledge. Perhaps it's about holding knowledge in

Perhaps it's about holding knowledge in a new way lightly provisionally with a

a new way lightly provisionally with a sense of humor about our own

sense of humor about our own certainties.

certainties. Perhaps the wisest response to the vast

Perhaps the wisest response to the vast mystery of existence isn't I know but

mystery of existence isn't I know but isn't this fascinating?

isn't this fascinating? Now we come to the heart of the matter.

Now we come to the heart of the matter. What does it mean to move beyond

What does it mean to move beyond duality? Beyond the splitting of reality

duality? Beyond the splitting of reality into known and unknown, self and other,

into known and unknown, self and other, subject and object. First, let's be

subject and object. First, let's be clear. This isn't about rejecting

clear. This isn't about rejecting distinctions altogether.

distinctions altogether. It's perfectly useful to distinguish

It's perfectly useful to distinguish between hot and cold, safe and

between hot and cold, safe and dangerous, familiar and unfamiliar.

dangerous, familiar and unfamiliar. The problem isn't with making

The problem isn't with making distinctions, but with forgetting that

distinctions, but with forgetting that these distinctions are tools, not

these distinctions are tools, not truths.

truths. They are convenient ways of navigating

They are convenient ways of navigating experience, not inherent features of

experience, not inherent features of reality itself.

reality itself. Moving beyond duality means recognizing

Moving beyond duality means recognizing the underlying unity from which all

the underlying unity from which all apparent opposites emerge.

apparent opposites emerge. It's like seeing that waves, despite

It's like seeing that waves, despite their apparent individuality and

their apparent individuality and difference, are all expressions of a

difference, are all expressions of a single ocean. The wave isn't separate

single ocean. The wave isn't separate from the ocean. It's a temporary pattern

from the ocean. It's a temporary pattern of movement within it. In the same way,

of movement within it. In the same way, what we call known and unknown aren't

what we call known and unknown aren't two different realities, but aspects of

two different realities, but aspects of a single undivided awareness.

a single undivided awareness. They're like the front and back of your

They're like the front and back of your hand, seemingly different, but

hand, seemingly different, but impossible to separate.

impossible to separate. This is what the Hindu tradition points

This is what the Hindu tradition points to with the concept of advita,

to with the concept of advita, non-duality.

non-duality. Not one, not two, but nondual.

Not one, not two, but nondual. It's what Buddhists mean by sonata,

It's what Buddhists mean by sonata, emptiness, not avoid of nihilism, but

emptiness, not avoid of nihilism, but the recognition that nothing exists in

the recognition that nothing exists in isolation, that everything is

isolation, that everything is interconnected and interdependent.

interconnected and interdependent. And here's the extraordinary thing. This

And here's the extraordinary thing. This isn't merely a philosophical idea.

isn't merely a philosophical idea. It's something you can experience

It's something you can experience directly.

directly. In moments of profound stillness, in

In moments of profound stillness, in deep meditation, in unexpected glimpses

deep meditation, in unexpected glimpses of clarity, the sense of separation can

of clarity, the sense of separation can fall away.

fall away. What remains isn't confusion or chaos,

What remains isn't confusion or chaos, but a luminous clarity, a recognition of

but a luminous clarity, a recognition of the essential unity of all things.

the essential unity of all things. This doesn't mean you become unable to

This doesn't mean you become unable to function in the relative world of

function in the relative world of distinctions.

distinctions. On the contrary, you can engage even

On the contrary, you can engage even more skillfully because you're no longer

more skillfully because you're no longer caught in the delusion of absolute

caught in the delusion of absolute separateness.

separateness. You can play the game of duality without

You can play the game of duality without being fooled by it.

being fooled by it. You can use the map while remembering it

You can use the map while remembering it isn't the territory. And in this

isn't the territory. And in this recognition lies tremendous freedom.

recognition lies tremendous freedom. Freedom from the endless struggle to

Freedom from the endless struggle to know everything, control everything,

know everything, control everything, eliminate all uncertainty.

eliminate all uncertainty. Freedom to live in harmony with the

Freedom to live in harmony with the mystery that you are and that surrounds

mystery that you are and that surrounds you. So how do we actually live with

you. So how do we actually live with this understanding?

this understanding? How do we embrace the unknown, transcend

How do we embrace the unknown, transcend the illusion of duality, and find peace

the illusion of duality, and find peace in the midst of mystery? Allow me to

in the midst of mystery? Allow me to offer a few practical suggestions.

offer a few practical suggestions. First, practice recognizing when you're

First, practice recognizing when you're caught in the compulsion to know, to

caught in the compulsion to know, to control, to eliminate uncertainty.

control, to eliminate uncertainty. Notice how this creates tension,

Notice how this creates tension, anxiety, a subtle or not so subtle

anxiety, a subtle or not so subtle contraction in your being. Simply

contraction in your being. Simply becoming aware of this pattern is the

becoming aware of this pattern is the beginning of freedom from it. Second,

beginning of freedom from it. Second, experiment with holding your knowledge

experiment with holding your knowledge lightly.

lightly. Whatever you think you know about

Whatever you think you know about yourself, others, the world, try adding

yourself, others, the world, try adding a silent maybe to it. Not as a cynical

a silent maybe to it. Not as a cynical doubt, but as a playful openness to

doubt, but as a playful openness to being surprised.

being surprised. This is who I am. Maybe

This is who I am. Maybe this is what will happen. Maybe

this is what will happen. Maybe feel how this simple practice creates

feel how this simple practice creates space, loosens rigidity, invites wonder.

space, loosens rigidity, invites wonder. Third, cultivate comfort with not

Third, cultivate comfort with not knowing.

knowing. When faced with a question, a problem, a

When faced with a question, a problem, a situation where you feel compelled to

situation where you feel compelled to have an immediate answer or solution,

have an immediate answer or solution, try pausing instead.

try pausing instead. Breathe into the discomfort of

Breathe into the discomfort of uncertainty.

uncertainty. Notice how the mind rushes to fill this

Notice how the mind rushes to fill this space with opinions, judgments,

space with opinions, judgments, anything to escape the nakedness of not

anything to escape the nakedness of not knowing. What happens if you don't

knowing. What happens if you don't indulge this rush?

indulge this rush? What happens if you simply remain

What happens if you simply remain present with the question, allowing it

present with the question, allowing it to work on you rather than immediately

to work on you rather than immediately working on it? Fourth, practice direct

working on it? Fourth, practice direct perception.

perception. Several times a day, pause and simply

Several times a day, pause and simply receive whatever is present in your

receive whatever is present in your experience, sights, sounds, sensations,

experience, sights, sounds, sensations, thoughts without labeling or

thoughts without labeling or interpreting.

interpreting. Just pure awareness

Just pure awareness prior to conceptualization.

prior to conceptualization. You might be astonished at how vivid,

You might be astonished at how vivid, how alive everything becomes when

how alive everything becomes when experienced in this way. Finally,

experienced in this way. Finally, remember that embracing the unknown

remember that embracing the unknown doesn't mean abandoning discernment or

doesn't mean abandoning discernment or abdicating responsibility.

abdicating responsibility. It means engaging with life from a place

It means engaging with life from a place of openness rather than rigid certainty.

of openness rather than rigid certainty. It means responding to what is rather

It means responding to what is rather than reacting based on preconception.

than reacting based on preconception. It means living with both feet planted

It means living with both feet planted firmly in the mystery. And perhaps most

firmly in the mystery. And perhaps most importantly, don't take any of this too

importantly, don't take any of this too seriously.

seriously. The universe has a marvelous sense of

The universe has a marvelous sense of humor and nothing dispels the illusion

humor and nothing dispels the illusion of duality quite like genuine laughter.

of duality quite like genuine laughter. When you can laugh at your own

When you can laugh at your own certainties, your own anxious attempts

certainties, your own anxious attempts to control, your own dramatic reactions

to control, your own dramatic reactions to life's unpredictability, that

to life's unpredictability, that laughter itself is the sound of freedom.

laughter itself is the sound of freedom. Life is not a problem to be solved, but

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived. The unknown is

a mystery to be lived. The unknown is not your enemy, but your home.

not your enemy, but your home. And in accepting this in surrendering to

And in accepting this in surrendering to the vast uncontrollable glorious mystery

the vast uncontrollable glorious mystery of existence, you may find a peace and

of existence, you may find a peace and joy beyond anything knowledge alone

joy beyond anything knowledge alone could ever provide.

could ever provide. As we draw to a close, I'd like to leave

As we draw to a close, I'd like to leave you with this thought. The journey we've

you with this thought. The journey we've been exploring together isn't about

been exploring together isn't about reaching some final state of

reaching some final state of enlightenment where all mystery is

enlightenment where all mystery is dispelled.

dispelled. Quite the contra about falling in love

Quite the contra about falling in love with the mystery itself.

with the mystery itself. You see, we've been taught to view

You see, we've been taught to view uncertainty as a problem, something to

uncertainty as a problem, something to overcome.

overcome. But what if uncertainty is actually a

But what if uncertainty is actually a gift? What if the open-endedness of

gift? What if the open-endedness of existence, its refusal to be finally

existence, its refusal to be finally pinned down or fully known, is precisely

pinned down or fully known, is precisely what makes it endlessly fascinating,

what makes it endlessly fascinating, endlessly new? I've often thought that

endlessly new? I've often thought that the universe is rather like a

the universe is rather like a magnificent jazz improvisation.

magnificent jazz improvisation. There are patterns, yes, rhythms and

There are patterns, yes, rhythms and harmonies that give it structure, but

harmonies that give it structure, but within that structure is endless

within that structure is endless creativity, endless surprise.

creativity, endless surprise. And what makes jazz so compelling isn't

And what makes jazz so compelling isn't its predictability, but its spontaneity,

its predictability, but its spontaneity, the way it unfolds in ways you could

the way it unfolds in ways you could never anticipate.

never anticipate. When you fully accept the unknown, when

When you fully accept the unknown, when you stop fighting against the inherent

you stop fighting against the inherent mystery of existence,

mystery of existence, something extraordinary happens.

something extraordinary happens. The boundary between you and the

The boundary between you and the universe begins to dissolve.

universe begins to dissolve. The line between the knower and the

The line between the knower and the known becomes permeable, transparent.

known becomes permeable, transparent. You realize that you are not separate

You realize that you are not separate from the mystery you've been trying to

from the mystery you've been trying to solve. You are that mystery experiencing

solve. You are that mystery experiencing itself from within.

itself from within. And in that recognition is a homecoming,

And in that recognition is a homecoming, a return to your true nature.

a return to your true nature. Not as some isolated ego forever

Not as some isolated ego forever struggling to know and control an alien

struggling to know and control an alien world, but as the aware space in which

world, but as the aware space in which all experience arises, known and

all experience arises, known and unknown, certain and uncertain, all of

unknown, certain and uncertain, all of it welcome, all of it you. So I invite

it welcome, all of it you. So I invite you, as we part ways, to step more fully

you, as we part ways, to step more fully into this dance with the unknown,

into this dance with the unknown, not reluctantly, not fearfully, but with

not reluctantly, not fearfully, but with joy, with wonder, with the recognition

joy, with wonder, with the recognition that the mystery isn't something to be

that the mystery isn't something to be conquered, but to be celebrated.

conquered, but to be celebrated. For in the end, it isn't the answers

For in the end, it isn't the answers that make life rich, but the questions,

that make life rich, but the questions, not the destinations, but the journey.

not the destinations, but the journey. Not the known, but the infinite

Not the known, but the infinite possibility that lies just beyond it.

possibility that lies just beyond it. Thank you for joining me in this

Thank you for joining me in this exploration.

exploration. Until we meet again, may you live with

Until we meet again, may you live with both feet planted firmly in the glorious

both feet planted firmly in the glorious uncontainable mystery.

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YouTube Transcript:Spiritual Awake People Quit These 7 Things Slowly | Alan Watts 2025