YouTube Transcript:
My Son Is Gay - A Mother’s Perspective On Her Son’s Coming Out
Skip watching entire videos - get the full transcript, search for keywords, and copy with one click.
Share:
Video Transcript
View:
[Music]
welcome to Mom's true tea the podcast
where moms can spill the true tea on
various stop provoking topics and
challenge beliefs about motherhood and
life authentically unapologetically and
without judgment I'm your host Kendall leay
leay
Williams today is a very special episode
featuring a heart-to-heart conversation
between my oldest son and I am in this
episode we'll be discussing my son's
journey of coming out from both pers
perspectives in the importance of
fostering understanding and acceptance
but first let me give you his resume
he's a World Travel recording artist has
toured with Dave Crowder in his band
he's toured Germany singing Israel and
Lebanon he's a professional solo artist
and background vocalist for some world
renowned artists a music composer he's
performed on the Dove Awards as a
background artist and was part of a
Tyler perod performance in 2023 he has a
song on Apple music music called Greater
Love he gives the best bear hoods he
always smells amazing he's my firstborn
son and just know I don't play about him
so tap in for this authentic and
Unapologetic conversation from my heart
to his and his heart to mine hi son hey
Mom wow what a
welcomeing wow thank you so much that
makes me feel I don't know on the up
like we standing on business and you are
and you are thank you thank you so much
thank you so much for joining me and for
having this conversation with me son I
know it was not the most comfortable
conversation to have publicly and I know
that you were reluctant at first and I
respected that was your decision at the
time but I am so glad and so thankful
that you changed your mind because I
felt this conversation really needed to
happen shared from both of our
perspectives but just know I know it
takes courage and strength to embrace
your true self and my hope is that by
sharing our story it will bring healing
that will inspire and Empower others
going through similar experiences so son
Let's jump into it when did you realize
and accept your sexual orientation and
tell me about that journey of Discovery
for you okay well I know that I realized
that I was experiencing these feelings
when I was very very young um I think it
was maybe Elementary School honestly
like I felt that there was something
different you know like where boys are
supposed to like girls and and girls are
supposed to like boys you know this is
just something that you know that we're
taught that this is the right thing to
do and um for me you know I wasn't you
know like like I had a different feeling
for women and girls like you know like I
it for me it was just kind of like like
it's sacred I don't know I don't know
how to really explain it like I don't
want to touch a woman like that yeah or
make them feel any type of way like you
know I just have a very high respect and
um a very high regard for women wow and
it it just never really interested me
yeah to want to
experience a woman
sexually sexually like I just felt like
it was like y'all are God's gifts you
know what I'm saying we are you know
like y are God's gifts and um not
necessarily saying that men aren't you
know right but um I just never really
had a true desire to want to be with a
woman or to sexually be with a woman so
that attraction was not there for you
just wasn't there for me okay and
Society does tell us that it's abnormal
to have those feelings right so I can
only imagine how conflicted you may have
been knowing that Society tells you I'm
a man I should be with the woman and I
should have these feelings and this
desire and attraction for women so okay
that makes sense yeah it was very odd
you know because I just felt like I was
wrong like like is there something wrong
with me wow and um like why am I not
feeling this way and you know you hear
from other fathers you know other
fathers that have sons you know this is
just disgusting you know you don't do
that you know this is just how it's
supposed to be and you know you're
supposed to be like this you're supposed
to be like that and I'm just in the back
of my mind what's wrong with me yeah
nothing there's nothing wrong with you
so let's let's put that out there right
here and that
um thank you for sharing that
perspective and that gives me clarity as
well because I can only imagine the
confusion that you felt the Fear And the
emotions during that process of you
discovering you were gay or experiencing
these feelings that we're taught by the
church and black culture and Society are
not normal so I empathize with you
greatly on that hearing that perspective
how did you feel
when I came to you and asked you about
it or asked you questions about your
sexuality well you know um my coming out
funny when we lived in
Florida and you know you had that like I
thought I was in trouble I was like Lord
Jesus what is going on because all I
hear is
D breing your mind home right now and
I'm like oh Lord Jesus like what is
going on what did I do and then I came
F CUA I was running it up you know long distance
distance
calls were not really you know Norm they
were not free exactly they were not free
so you know I was calling all type of
people building relationships all these
type of people over the phone I'm like
Lord geez like
I you know for me like it like of course
you know like not paying the bills you
know you just don't really know you just
don't really know I'm thinking like you
know these long distance calls are
normal like you know okay you know I can
do this right because you know it went
through you know it went through but
because your mama
p man that was it's really funny it's
it's it's really funny um thinking about
like that whole scenario but then like
you know the seriousness of it like oh
my God my mom finally finally knows or
has this type of you know my radar my
radar kind of went up like hey wait a
minute who are these people like I know
I'm not making these calls yeah you know
of course I call a few back and they're
all men of course when I answer when
they answer and I'm like who the hell
are you and why are you talking to my
teenage son so it was Discovery for me
from a couple different perspectives one
you was running up my
phone two it was like who are you know
why are all these people that I'm
calling back men or young men or boys
and then three like wait is my son gay
you know what I'm saying because for me
even though you may have expressed that
you never really had those feelings and
desires for girls or women or anything
like that there was never any clear
indication to me that you were G really
I always thought that you knew I did not
okay maybe I was blind to it because
again you never you were always gentle
in nature but I thought that was just
who you were as a person because that is
who you are yeah as a person you were
just sweet you were humble you did not
give me any trouble drus and it was just
like I never paid that any attention and
I don't know if it was just my naive
and not paying any attention but it's
not like you were walking around in high
heels with towels on your head swing
your haired around or playing with dolls
like I just that I did not see I know
that you spent a lot of time with me you
spent a lot of time with Grandma and Rin
seat so you know I knew that but at the
same time just nothing was like oh wow
is my child gay yes like I just never
thought like that and like I did have
you know feminine qualities um young and
you know me being who I am today you
know and I didn't necessar I take it
back when I said that I thought you knew
okay I may have thought that you had
like a
speculation but I know that you didn't
know I know that you didn't know and I
didn't want anybody to know because I
was still wrestling with myself I was
still wrestling with myself to really
figure out who I am yeah who I am as a
boy who I am as a
teenager and who am I be who am I to
become as a manow and today you know I
still am trying to figure out who am I
at 33 yeah you know who am I at 33 and I
know that it's more yeah than you know
my sexuality I'm more than that
absolutely but you know I I always
thought that you had a speculation so at
the time you know um like knowing that
you didn't know it it feared me it
really brought a lot of fear in me
because you know I was still trying to
figure this all out right so to now have
to explain something to you that I
really don't know yeah you know that I
haven't really come to grips with it was
hard it was terrifying for me yeah wow
Dre I'm so sorry
son I'm so sorry um do you think coming
out impacted any friendships or family
Dynamic and and how so any of a
relationship I feel like people have
always accepted me for whoever I am just
because I'm just really good with people
you are I I love building relationships
with people I love figuring out who the
you know who they are as an individual
yeah and I feel like my you know my
humor like you know just like me being a
goofy person and a talented person and
me also carrying you know thank you God
for me carrying some sort of wisdom yeah
that that also helps people see past
yeah you know what they feel is taboo
right right do you feel like you have to
overcompensate in those areas and which
are already natural for you being a good
person your smile lights up a room again
you give the most amazing hugs ever
everywhere I go it warms my heart if
we're together and people see you and
they're just they just gravitate to you
my first thing is like how you know my
child and then second it's like this is
his heart because he's such an amazing
person do you feel like you had to be
extra when it came to that or were you
just be like no this is who I am
naturally and I don't have to be the
overly funny person or overly friendly
well Mom you know you've always taught
your sons to be you know who they are
not to really be that person that has to
be extra you know when you walk into the
room you know it's just that just has
never been me yeah I've always been very
calm yeah you have been very Collective
you know of course you know I have my
moments where I'm very sensitive you
know and I get you know I get upset and
sometimes I could be extremely stubborn
but still at the same time I've always
been me because you have always been you
oh wow just to see you know the woman
that you are you're not extra you know
what I'm saying you're not that person
you have never been that person and you
being the example that I look up to you
know it's it's
always that's never really been a
hardship for me I never felt like I've
ever had to overcompensate yeah just to
make a room like you good you know I
feel like us being the people that we
are and the spiritual people that we are
that God has given us a life
so when we walk into a room you know of
course you know not speaking from an
arrogant perspective but just you know
it's just the light that we carry I mean
talk your talk yeah the light that we
carry when we walk into a room it
brightens up a room yeah and I feel like
some individuals that deal with a lot of
Darkness they can't accept that
sometimes so that's why there is always
some type of conflict or some type of
there's a disconnect a tussle or
contention or we don't have consistency
in our lives as far as relationships are
concerned exactly like you know it's not
with everybody yeah you know it's not
with everybody but there's always that
one person that will not like you right
and they're GNA always try to see what
the negatives are right in society's
Norms absolutely you know what I'm
saying um what is the negative life that
they have and if they're gonna they're
gonna also try to force that on you or
you know point that on you and try to
speak to other people to make them not like
like
people are just like well he's
completely different with me
absolutely you know he's completely
different with me but um you know yeah
just speaking from that perspective yeah
and I think that's a good point that you
do make because I do feel like we carry
a light but I think sometimes we try to
dim our light when we come into
different spaces as well because we
don't want other people to feel a
certain way yeah like we never walk in
the room and turn the switch in we are
the light yes we don't have to turn the
switch on like we don't have to conform
we're just coming as ourselves and I'm
glad that that was something that you
took away from me because I always pride
myself on being very genuine and that's
exactly who you are as well thank you
Mom yes so did you have friends that you
confided in as you got older of course
and became a teenager like did you have
a circle of friends or any type of
support system outside of the family
because I know that you still probably
weren in a position to have an open
conversation like we're having right now
and I think we had one like much later
on down the line but before we had that
conversation did you feel like you had a
group of friends or anyone that you
could go to and confide in or just have
these conversations because you all may
have been aligned as far as sexuality
you know all of my friendships um you
know growing up over time I feel like
since I met all of my friend most of my
friends in church and most of my friends
could sing and like I have one best
friend now to this day that I call my
brother and we have been very close for
years now and we met we met in high
school and you know it's just always
been a positive friendship um and I feel
like over time you know there were a lot
of friends that were still trying to
figure themselves out
um and then you have the church aspect
you have the church aspect y you know
that coming down on you um but as my
friendships are concerned like I said
they see past my sexual orientation and
they have always been very genuine
relationships and of course like you
know you know you go you have your
people here today you don't have your
people here today of course you know and
that is completely okay but they can
never say that I was a bad person oh no
you know and I'm thankful for that yeah
I'm very very thankful for that I hope
I'm answering this
question because just just speak freely
like it is perfectly fine and there is
no right or wrong answer okay yeah well
you know with my friendships like a lot
of people were still trying to figure
themselves out you know sexually and who
they were and and can I be this way and
can I be that way I feel like I was more
of a person that encouraged people to
just be genuinely themselves you know
because this is what makes you beautiful
this is what makes you stand out you
know this is what made us become friends
and it's not about your sexual
orientation it is about who you are to
people it is about how you represent
yourself and the character that you have
and yeah yeah your sexuality doesn't
Define you yeah of course not you know
because there are people that are not
gay or you know and there're still are
and some people who are who are not the
best people and they're not the best
people so your sexuality doesn't Define
you your heart and your character is
what defines you yes okay so you know
like I said earlier I never like
honestly I never really realized nor
considered that you were gay growing up
I just didn't and I don't know maybe I
was in denial or just plain ignorant
because I just never saw those signs
that indicated that you were gay or
confused about your sexuality I knew
again like I said you were very caring
and you were a nurturer you weren't
rough like other boys you were artistic
when I found out you could sing um Sing
Down highly intelligent you were
creative and you were really all you
always took care of your little brother
outside of the time you slapped him in
the face when he was a baby and you were
five you must have saw something that I
didn't see but other than that you were
always really protective of your little
brother at the time you know you were
just a good sweet kid and you still are
um I think it was when you were a teen
like I said that I started to notice
those calls in that phone bill and we
had to have that conversation Jesus and
I do kind of remember like standing in
the kitchen and both of us standing face
to face and I'm like are you gay and at
the time because now I understand you
were still trying to identify who you
were and I was like are you gay and you
were like no I'm bisexual and then I
said no if you really understood what
that meant or you were still trying to
identify your sexuality at the time you
probably wouldn't have replied that way
right I think you were still just trying
to figure it out still trying to figure
it out and me in true fashion I was like
because you know the last thing I wanted
to do was for you to pretend to be be
attracted to some woman or be in a
relationship with some woman knowing
truthfully that wasn't your desire cuz I
think that's happened with a lot of men
a lot of heterosexual men you assume
they're heterosexual they get into these
relationships have you know they're
married they have kids and all this
stuff and the whole time that's not
their true desire you know what I'm
saying so I just wanted you even in that
very small conversation for you to feel
comfortable and say exactly who you were
because I wanted you to stand in your
truth and and now I understand why you
said what you said because you were
still trying to figure it out yes and a
little bit was fear of course I didn't
you know I didn't want to hurt you yeah
or hurt anyone connected to us yeah you
know so I wanted there to be I guess
some type of relief that oh he makes
still like girls like girls or you know
get married to a woman I still have
children you know and not saying that I
can't have children now but like but you
know at the time you know I I still
wanted there to be some type of Hope
yeah okay and relief okay that makes
sense that makes sense excuse me no
problem that makes sense you know like
admittedly I had so many emotions after
that brief conversation right we kind of
and we kind of didn't discuss it any
further till years later and that's when
we moved here we we discussed it further
and we really had a long conversation
about it and I think what prompted that
conversation is someone called your
stepdad thinking they were out in you
not realizing I had already you and I
had already had that conversation and T
knew like he knew already he said he
knew he noticed it and he asked me did I
notice it at the time but he never
judged you for that you know what I'm
saying but ironic when that person
called to say you know Dre is talking to
this person and they're gay so he must
be gay I was like I think that open up
an opportunity for you and I to finally
sit down and have that conversation
right and then I think the first thing I
said was I need you to make sure that
you're protecting yourself that you
educate yourself and then I suggested
that you join a support group and I
think you were going to like group
meetings for a little bit yes it was a
group called Evolution okay in near
Edgewood okay yeah it was it was
definitely a group where I learned a lot
about just about the culture in Atlanta
yeah the gay culture in Atlanta and how
it could be a beautiful thing but then
also a toxic thing as well and I was
going to these meetings with a very good
friend at the time and you know we still
Converse to this day um but I also
realized the things you know that the
gay culture accepted and didn't accept
um me being a heavier like man I've
always had weight on me and I
wasn't accepted to the fullest degree
when I would go to these meetings but
yet they would accept my other friend
because he was smaller yeah he was
smaller and they found him to be more
attractive wow so you know and then they
invited him to be you know a part of a
gay house and a gay house is like okay
where you have a mother a father and
children nephews like they and they all
live together but they're all so
sexually active together you know wow um
and you know depending upon who the
mother figure is you know how they are
they can either try you sexually or they
just won't um but they'll be teaching
you you know shaping you and molding you
to survive in this community and and you
know about um HIV prevention and you
know the importance of that you know
like and we spoke about all of these
things in the meetings too but then also
it kind of shied me
away from wanting to be fully active in
that because why do I have to feel like
I'm not accepted here and not accepted
in society's Norms as well wow like
that's not fair to me not at all it's
not fair to me and but me being the
strong person that I am and me also
being as spiritual as I am and me having
the relationship that I have with God
I've just learned you know that you know
God accepts me yeah and God loves me he
does and um I don't necessarily have to
jump all the way in into something that
I don't feel comfortable in right if
that makes sense yeah it makes total
sense so you felt rejected in that
Community because I I felt rejected to a
certain extent like um there were still
others that you know that like me for
who I was right that's also good you
know that speaks to their to their
character and who they are as who they
are as human beings but then also you
know all this rejection that a lot of
people within the gay culture have have
received they take that into the culture
as well so then it becomes a huge toxic
thing and if we're trying to
fight oppression and trying to fight um
being ridiculed and judged and all that
stuff but yet you're taking it into the
gay culture as well that don't make
sense to not at all not at all it it has
never made sense to me and to this day
it is still the same h to this day it is
still the same oh wow son I didn't know
that so but you know what I wouldn't say
I know it felt like a slight bit of
rejection being in that but at the same
time listening to what you're saying it
was for your protection yes it was
definitely for your protection and I
think we have to make sure that we
acknowledge that a lot of times the most
high will protect us from things right
and it feels like rejection but again
it's definitely us being protected I
just know I had like a range of emotions
from my perspective it you know it was
hard for me at the time to accept or
even process it right I I remember
having like I said this big range of
emotions at first I was again kind of
surprised I think I cried for days
definitely not in front of you because I
didn't want you to feel away because I I
could only imagine that you felt way and
you're confirming that you did already
right I was also afraid for you and
that's why I was like make sure you go
and educate yourself and get with these
groups because not only as a gay man but
a gay black man it is even harder so I
wanted to make sure you had the tools
that you needed in order for you to walk
this journey because it was nothing that
I could teach you or tell you or guide
you in I can only make my
suggestions then of course from a
religious perspective I was like what
does this mean for my child you know
what I'm saying because in in church
we're taught oh you're gay you're gonna
go to hell and I'm like there's no way
that my child who has this amazing heart
who has this beautiful gift is going to
go to anybody's hell not when you got a
bunch of Helens in the church already
just because you're not gay you do a
whole lot of other stuff and we'll talk
about that a little bit later but you
know I just I refuse to believe that and
then you know I heard things like oh I
heard you tried to beat the gay out of
him like how the hell am I gonna beat
the gay out of you when I didn't even
realize you were gay you heard that from
who Jes I won't say any names but you
know I'm sure someone within our family
told that person and that person told me
but it's here nor there it was like what
how do you beat the gay out of somebody
and I think but I do believe people have
had that experience I think it's very
ignant but you know I'm sure people have
that had that experience and and I
empathize with them then I also dealt
with guilt like you know did I put my
child In Harm's Way you know because I'm
not educated I don't know it's about how
you're feeling you know what I'm saying
I'm automatically thinking all the
things that Society has taught like
something's wrong or you know this
person's been touched or whatever and I
carried that guilt for a while and it's
not until like I said later on we had a
full on conversation and you were like
Mom that's not the case this is just how
I feel and you set me free at that time
because I was really like really guilty
and when we sat down and you said that
and you told me that you set me free and
thank you for that because I didn't have
to carry that guilt anymore you know I
wanted to also protect you I knew the
ignorance that comes along with this and
I wanted to make sure that I would
protect you as much as I possibly could
you know what I'm saying because I think
people are taught judgment and to me I
dispelled anything as far as you going
to hell because I was like no that's not
gonna happen my child's not going to
hell at all what were your experiences
with the church being gay oh man um so
it has always been of course a speculation
speculation
within any Community any church that
I've been in um but it's never been
anything that people could confirm until
they asked me like now being in the
church earlier when I was younger of
course I would deny it um I would deny
it and it was something that I was
really really fruitful of but once I
came out to
you that said me free oh wow so I want
to just say thank you to you because
it really Set Me Free from me lying
about something that I did not want to
lie about you know like this is this is
just something that I have to live with
and me being me being homosexual doesn't
have to Define who I am it does like you
know before you know it was okay for me
to come up on your platform you know and
sing this and slay to church and you
know and do all of this but now you want
to bring me into your office and say he
we want to work on changing
you wow we want to work on changing you
and we want to work on um getting you to
be the man that God has destined you to
be how do you know that and how can you
change me yeah and do you know do you
know what God wants you to be that's
exactly you know do you know the purpose
that God has instilled in you because a
lot of people still wrestle with that a
lot of people still wrestle with okay
what does God want me to be God want me
to do what is my purpose on the earth
you know what is going to make me
successful in the Kingdom but then also
successful on Earth you know these are
things that people wrestle with and
that's why a lot of people leave the
faith and that is very very hard to
wrestle with but still at the same time
like you know don't make me feel like I
need to change right like my
relationship with God is pretty good you
know what I'm saying and we we talk
about hard things
things
know we talked about the hard things
real hard things you know what I'm
saying absolutely and I feel like you
know God continues to give me Revelation
within the word and just like you know
through intuition and I'm thankful for
that I'm very very thankful for that but
yes it has been it has been hard but
then also like it has been I've had some
very loving loving experiences beautiful
experiences and a lot different churches
and just through people in general
because this is not taboo anymore no
it's not this is not taboo anymore
people are coming out right people are
coming out and a lot of people are still
hidden yeah people 60 year old daddies
right people 60 70 year old daddies like
for real you know what I'm saying and
Mas yeah you know what I'm saying now
starting to feel like oh I could come
out or they've been over the years yeah
you know what I'm saying doing things in
secret yeah and I feel like that makes
it a lot more rough wow it makes it a
lot oh my God that is so good that is so
good because you just said something
people that are in their 60s and 70s
first of all they're like I don't have
much time on this Earth so I want to be
free because they've lived this live for
60 70 plus years I would never want you
to be held in bondage or hostage yes to
not living in your truth that's exactly
what it is I can only imagine and like
us being you know
African-Americans we already still
trying to break off bondage you know
what I'm saying just from
slavery all of this and all the anger
and all of this stuff you centuries just
from slavery alone like you know and
then like I just saw something um on TV
the other day where like the lady was
like you know they they would have to
deal with the the white slave masters
and you know they they would have to
agree with them and make them feel like
they were Superior and right but yet
take that home to their
children and beat their children and
beat their dogs and all of this stuff
because they can't do that with
Master you know what I'm saying so like
like take that experience and now now
you have your son or your daughter right
coming to you saying hey yeah I'm gay
yeah you know what I'm saying or you
finding out through the great F you know
what I'm saying like all that anger that
you have and all the hostility that you
have it's going to be even worse for
them and their experience and them just
feeling free enough to come to you you
know about their experience not they're
not gonna feel that ease anymore yeah so
I I know that's I don't know if that's
kind of left but like still at the same
time like you I don't know just relating
that experience I feel like it's
generational it is definitely
generational it's definitely
generational because we have been we
have had to keep control of ourselves
and therefore that has to go and be
imposed on someone else right but again
the last thing I would have ever wanted
to do is hold you hostage and not to be
able to live in your freedom and as a
parent I think that we have to have
these conversations and have these open
conversations because there's parents
that clearly like their children are gay
and outside everybody knows it and
they're in this denial and not only that
you you will set your child free if they
could live and be who they really are
and then you would set yourself free as
a parent because it's a burden for both
right you want your child to be
protected so I I just think for me
during my Evolution and acceptance of
the fact that you were gay I learned
that you being comfortable being whoever
you choose to be was necessary for you
again to be free yes that denying your
sexuality it holds you hostage that's
your happiness and and your happiness
meant much more to me than your
sexuality and then I would be then I
started being like well who are you
dating like and you be like Mom you
still didn't want want to talk about
that and that's fine because again you
know I still I mind my business but for
me it became more about I just want my
child to be happy I want my children to
be happy you know what I'm saying
because again you you be surprised how
many parents are in complete denial
about the sexuality of their child and
and a lot of it has to do with
religion a lot of it does I'm sure it
does but my Evolution and my acceptance
was to not only set you free to be who
you were but also to set myself free
well I feel like you know like how you
said when I was younger you know you
really didn't you really didn't know and
I feel like genuinely there are some
parents that just don't know you know
that this has been their child you know
ever since they were born so you know
like them seeing their expression and
their emotion and their character this
is just all that they know that they
wouldn't think oh my child is gay right
that's true you know what I'm saying
that they you know like some people are
just oblivious to it and that is okay
you know it is something that I feel
like a lot of people you know still need
to learn and then also pay attention to
but then also it is so important for the
child it is also important for the child
to be able to you know um muster up some
strength and some courage just for
themselves right just for themselves to
want to be free yeah you know um a lot
of people love living in bondage they do
a lot of people love living in chaos
they do and that's completely okay
because God has given us free will you
know that is fine for you but I know for
myself yeah I need some peace in being
free okay in being free and then also
why wouldn't I want to be honest with
you right the people that I love yeah
you know the people that I love like why
wouldn't I want to be honest with you
and be able to share life experiences
with you you know just over time like I
feel like it is so saddening to be able
to hide and to be hidden from who you
truly are from your mother wow from your
father wow you know what I'm saying like
I feel like it is just a hardship and a
crutch and for anybody to have to feel
that way I feel like they really need to
do some re-evaluation yeah re-evaluation
as the parent and as the child there's
some learning and some growing to do and
some loving and some accepting like what
don't you accept of yourself you know
what I'm saying that's making you not
accept your
child that's good because some parents
may be struggling with some things as
well right yeah and it doesn't
necessarily have to be you know
homosexuality it could be a plethora y
it could be drug addiction it could be
abandonment it could be mental issues it
could be anything that's great that's so good
good
um has this impacted your mental health
at all oh yeah and and what did you do
or what have you done or what are you
doing to make sure that you are taking
care of yourself from a mental health
perspective well before I thought
counseling was like you know only for
the people that really truly truly truly need
need
truly literally we truly truly truly be
it there's lot of things to unpack yes
sir you know what I'm saying then like
really knowing the true definition of
trauma yeah you know what is trauma what
does trauma look like for you and there
are some things that I didn't know about
myself that I experienced that was
traumatizing you know what I'm saying
like my father right yeah like my father
wanted to be in my life doing all of
these things what two three years and
then boom you kicking me out again wow
because he's battling with addiction wow
you know and that was traumatizing for
me cuz it was like him leaving you all
over again because he already he wasn't
there in the beginning for a long period
of time then you became a teenager and I
think his sister is the one that reached
out and really kind of connected you to
the family yes and I'm very thankful for
her and I and I'm very thankful for her
as well I I will never disregard the
fact that you're aunt yes is the one
that bridged that Gap because for me it
was never me trying to put any pressure
on him to be in your life it was like I
have a child I need to move forward I'm
not going to try to push this for
anything you know you have a child as
well but again this is a bigger
conversation yeah definitely but I
that's why I mentioned that earlier and
then him coming into your life and your
teen years maybe once or twice and then
again abandoning you all over again
traumatizing for retrigger so it is
something that I'm still trying to
unpack to this stay but it's something
that I am not oblivious to it's
something that I'm just not putting in
the back burner yeah and ignoring that
this is trauma you have to acknowledge
it yeah I have to acknowledge I have to
speak on it that this is what it is
absolutely and this is how I'm going to
get out of it absolutely so you know to
this day I'm still seeing counselors
good and th and you know just therapy is
just it's it's a good
thing it's a good thing yes you it's
needed yes I trust God yes I pray yeah
but I feel like you know that's why God
has built this art form of therapy oh
absolutely you know like for us to be
able to speak that's why you need people
yeah that's why you need people yeah
absolutely wow son this is so good like
I feel like we like I said we had this
conversation years ago and I thought it
was so important for us to rehab this
conversation and how could we educate
ourselves to dispel any miss or
stereotypes associated with being gay
well to this day you know we have the
gift of
YouTube you know and a lot of people
telling and sharing their stories you
have a lot of vloggers um you know that
tell their coming out stories and you
know how they have dealt with this and
dealt with that you know do your
research yeah you know Google you can
type any question in and it will give
you an answer like and it's I'm might
not even be joking about that like
Google is the most
incredible application form out there
right now where you can literally type
any question in yeah that you have yeah
and you will have a plethora of
information to skim through to skim
through and then also you know it's okay
to ask questions to you know your friend
that you know that have family members
or friends that are gay you know it is
okay to ask those questions but it is
you know also be respectful about it
absolutely in your
searching in your um information finding
along the way so that you know you can
know how to deal with your own
experience right yeah wow that's good
that is so good son thank you again for
joining me on this episode I am so
grateful and for your openness and your
willingness to share your journey and
heing from my perspective as your mom
what I would encourage parents to do is
one to be accepting of your child their
sexuality does not change who they are
you being gay has not changed who you
are I love you just as much if not more
by you being able to stand in your truth
and be honest about who you are my
overall goal is always to make sure you
guys are happy yes and and live your
life how you want to live your life but
I always say be smart you know what I'm
saying and be cognizant of everything
that comes along with this because it
can't be an easy Journey based on your
conversation and hearing some of the
highs and the lows you know what I'm
saying so coming out is a personal
journey and it's often times difficult
and having a supportive and
understanding Community can make all the
difference in the world it is so
important that we Embrace individuality
and one being truly themselves we hope
that this conversation has touched your
hearts and shed some light on the
importance of creating a loving and
inclusive environment for our children
that are either struggling with
identifying their sexuality coming out
or have come [Music]
[Music]
out thank you so much for tuning in I'm
so blessed to have a community where I
can show up as my most authen s because
I don't know what else to be don't
forget to favorite the show leave a
review And subscribe to the podcast on
your favorite streaming platforms to
stay up to date on new episodes
subscribe to my newsletter at
moms.com follow us on all socials at M
Ms T R tea and be sure to share and stay
tuned for more thought-provoking topics
and real talk on Mom's Che te with
Kendall leay until next time remember
you need you just as much as anyone else
so stop playing about you okay bye
Click on any text or timestamp to jump to that moment in the video
Share:
Most transcripts ready in under 5 seconds
One-Click Copy125+ LanguagesSearch ContentJump to Timestamps
Paste YouTube URL
Enter any YouTube video link to get the full transcript
Transcript Extraction Form
Most transcripts ready in under 5 seconds
Get Our Chrome Extension
Get transcripts instantly without leaving YouTube. Install our Chrome extension for one-click access to any video's transcript directly on the watch page.
Works with YouTube, Coursera, Udemy and more educational platforms
Get Instant Transcripts: Just Edit the Domain in Your Address Bar!
YouTube
←
→
↻
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc
YoutubeToText
←
→
↻
https://youtubetotext.net/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc