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This Horse Racing Anime IS That Serious!! | LunarEquinox | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: This Horse Racing Anime IS That Serious!!
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[Music]
Horse racing is that serious. Horse
racing is something that's only viewed
by people in top hats, gamblers, and
bronies. But what if those horses wore
top hats and were 1% horse and 99% girl
with thigh highs? that. Wait, wait,
Lunar, you had me at bronies. Umamus,
which translates to horse girls, has
been going around recently since the
mobile game came to America in the form
of ads every 2 seconds. However, I was
there when the anime was written, but
two people in Nicola Yokic have seen it.
So, let's take a look at the anime
straight from the horse's mouth. Spoiler
warning for real life. When horses die
from our world, they're reborn exactly
the same. Well, not exactly the same.
Some have less testicles [Music]
with the exception of Wikipedia who
knows all because these horses repeat
almost everything bar forbar from their
previous life here. What kind of shitty
afterlife is this? Imagine dying and God
says, "Okay, now you get to cry to
Malcop in elementary school in front of
your crush again."
>> That man was a hero. Even this Earth is
basically Earth 2. The only difference
is humans can't run. They can only
perform a light jog. Umamus is divided
into four seasons. One movie, one OVA,
Each season has a different main
character, meaning each story arc is
different, but it's the same. This is at
its core gotcha advertisement. But more
than that, it's a sports anime, so
there's a simple formula that they all
follow. First, the most important thing
in any sports anime is a goal. Tokai
Teeo has a dream of getting a triple
crown, the most famed title a horse girl
can get right after horse of the year.
That's a real thing, by the way. But
everyone knows what happens when you
Every season, someone will be getting
injured. Oh man, I really like that
there's never a week of happiness in
this anime. This leads to phase three,
the rehabilitation arc or training arc.
if they don't get injured. Either way,
they'll be doing the same thing, not
running. During this time, they'll watch
random races to see the threats and
build up storylines for the other horses
so that you will feel bad for the horses
that lose. Eventually, it comes time for
the big race that has been built up for
probably two episodes. The moment is
finally here. All of their blood, sweat,
and tears brought them to this moment. [Music]
[Music]
Who is that random bum horse? This is
the best part of the show. You really
never know who's going to win the race
unless you're a 50-year-old Japanese man
because the outcomes are based off the
real races the horses participated in.
After the race is over is an idol
concert for the podium finishers. And if
I trained my whole life for a race and
told my father, who was dying of cancer,
that I was going to win and then came in
second place and then they put me on a
stage to sing and dance. I'd hit that [ __ ]
Finally, the horse goes to America.
That's right, buddy. You get to go race
in America where it's always sunny and
there are fields of carrots. When they
do come back in future seasons, they
come back as background characters. That
one is special week. I now possess more
knowledge on horses than most
competitive eaters, which is impressive
because the only horse I knew prior to
this was Donkey. It's clear that the
most important part of the show, even
more than the storyline, is the
characters. Which is ironic because this
is the equivalent of my dad saying, "Why
are you watching someone else play games
when you could play it yourself? Even
the character designs have so much to do
with the real horses."
>> Nobody cared who I was until I put on
the mask.
>> But talking about the horses wouldn't
make any sense because most of you
haven't even seen the show. But I'm
going to do it anyways. Gold Ship is a
horse of a thousand talents. training is
not a single one of those. Quite
literally does anything but training.
Now she's doing my job. Gold Ship is
based off a real person who after
retirement had a health analysis done
showing they had near perfect health.
Which means despite winning so much,
that lazy Finch chewer probably never
tried his hardest. [Applause]
[Applause]
>> What a stupid horse. late starting.
The 12 billion yen incident happened in
2015 where over 12 billion yen was bet
on gold chip to win a race he had won
twice before, but he didn't feel like it
[Music]
>> Even all the goofy faces you see are
based off real images of the horse. I
don't know about that one, though. This
makes me appreciate all the efforts the
creators of Umamus put into
incorporating so many aspects of the
horses. Silent Suzuka is one of the
biggest what-if stories in horse racing.
Some horses are just too strong. So like
Gojo, she had to be sealed in the cube
of winning a free trip to America. She's
actually still in America in future
seasons, but she's running in between
America and Japan too quickly to notice.
Wait a minute. Is Wally West running?
Yeah, that's a silent susa upscale. But
how can I not talk about my goat Hadu
Ur, the shining star of losers
everywhere with a record that only
France came close to mimicking. 113
races, zero victories. This is the kind
of consistency that alcoholics yearn for.
for. [Music]
In a race with six silent suzukas, Hadu
would come fit. Haru is in this race. I
better keep my ass in fourth or I'm
finished. But there's no horse I
despised as much as special week. In the
show, she had a special week of winning
before losing constantly despite her
counterpart making more money than
whoever invented Stick Drift. Her whole
character is just being obsessed with
Suzuka. Wait, a character? That's a
Nobody was coming up to you. They were
going to talk to Suzuka, actual clingy girlfriend.
>> Clearly, nobody here has had goals
before. She's doing this because it was
her mother's dream for her to become the
fastest racehorse in Japan. See, guys,
sometimes you can force your dreams on
your kids. So sit right here and grind
until you bring me an FNCS, little
buddy. There are more scenes of her
eating than racing. Her greed sickens
me, unlike a goodie cap. Her greed
delights me. Then you have the men.
I'm just going to assume that the
horsemen are just normal horses. Like
Prometheus brought fire into the world,
somebody brought horse girls into this
There are so many interesting horses in
this world, like nepotism horse, or a
farming horse, the horse that ate her
twin in the womb, so now she has two
horsepower instead of one. And Rice
shower, a horse known for getting
euthanized during its final race after
falling down. Owned. Here's the official
anime tier list if you were curious. So,
is the show any good?
>> Yes. Yes. Yes. Come on.
>> You know, it was nothing insane.
>> Let's go. the potato. That's my goal.
>> Another potato classic.
>> I felt more passion watching this than
the Olympics. It never failed to set up
stakes and in the back of your mind,
you're thinking they could just lose
since it's based on real events. You
never wanted any of the horses to lose
the race because there's no such thing
as an evil horse in this world. It was
cool the two times they taught you
different things about horse racing like
placement and slipstreams. Sure would be
a shame if they stopped doing that and
their only advice was to break a leg.
This is one of the few gotacha based
anime where there's honestly no fan
service. Most of the time I had to make
my own.
>> It was nice to see all of the background
characters were just horses that you've
seen before they got sent to America.
Which may make you ask what exactly is
the timeline of the show? If that horse
was her idol as a child and that horse
was her idol as a child and they're
still in school, follow the carrot of
distraction and captivation. The short
answer is, ah, forget about it. The long
answer is you can't exactly turn the old
horses into jello- after they retire.
That would decrease revenue. There was
honestly not anything major I disliked
about the anime outside of the injury
merchants, but that's actually just real
life. There was the occasional CGI
balling, but it never looked awful. On
the other hand, there was this scene
>> Uh, that man was speaking Japanese.
>> I did have to try the mobile game to
make this video, which I played on
stream. Bid, I don't care. Yes, it was
okay. I kept my cool. I'm taking out a
house mortgage for this game. I may
single-handedly fund the next season.
They somehow took gambling and turned it
into more gambling. But I'm not
addicted. I'll just drop it after I
finish this video. Ignore that. In the
time it took me to watch all of Uma, I
could have watched all of Attack on
Titan, but it wouldn't have been half as
good. In conclusion, did I just make an
ad without getting paid for it? [ __ ]
>> 0 out of 10. They should have fought for
a holy grail. But man, I made this video
pretty quick. Wait, quick silence Suzuka upscale.
upscale.
>> Come on, Lunar. Get them knees up. You
call that a fast pace? You'll never beat
Haru like that. You run like a donkey.
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