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Joe Rogan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #403 | Theo Von | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Joe Rogan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #403
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This content is a podcast episode featuring Theo Von and Joe Rogan discussing a wide range of topics, including upcoming tour dates, new merchandise, Joe Rogan's new comedy special and comedy club, and various societal and personal issues.
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i want to announce some upcoming tour
dates i'll be coming to see you
with the return of the rat tour
october 12th in wichita kansas at the orpheum
orpheum
october 13th
omaha nebraska
at the holland performing arts center
and october 14th denver colorado at the
paramount theater
all tickets go on sale this wednesday
august 10th at 10 a.m local time with
the pre-sale code rat king
and then friday august 12th they will be
on sale generally with no pre-sale code
you can get all tickets through theovonne.com
theovonne.com tour
tour
those are trusted links on there
if you go elsewhere you may get an
untrustworthy link and that could lead
to upselling prices so theovon.com
tour i also want to tell you we have
some new be good to yourself teas
in new summertime colorways like banana
salmon and more you can check those out
and more at theovonstore.com
thank you
today's guest was grateful enough to let
us tape out of his studio
down in austin texas
he's a linchpin in the mixed martial
arts community
and a prized ufc commentator
he's the host of the largest podcast
on planet earth the joe rogan experience
and his new hour of standup comedy is
the best comedy that i've seen him do
we're grateful to have him here today mr joe
joe rogan
we're live and we're back we're doing
your podcast though yeah thank you man
thanks for thanks thank you for the
hospitality and um
and uh for jumping on me i appreciate it
my pleasure for letting us do it here
been having some fun yeah we have man
last night was really cool
it's a good time right yeah the new
place looks great doesn't it yeah do you
feel it when you go in there do you feel
like um
was it scary to start to think okay i'm
going to build like an actual building
for comedy i mean it's like a whole new
business kind of isn't it yeah it's kind
of overwhelming it's a little
overwhelming it's kind of crazy yeah
yeah
it's exciting but it's part of me is
like what the [ __ ] yeah because i was
listening to you show it to me and i was
like damn joe it felt like you were like
a um con like a contractor like a you
know like uh um
like a landlord kind of it was like oh
this is a whole it feels like a whole
different uniform kind of it's a totally
different thing but luckily i got people
running it so my participation in that
aspect of it will hopefully be minimal
yeah you know but it is uh it's
definitely you know but i felt like
i felt compelled i felt compelled to do
it you know because i always
if you you know i never wanted to own a
comedy club but i always felt like you
just have to be nice to comedy club
owners because you never want to be one
of those [ __ ] people right but then
when i knew i was moving here and cap
city was already closed i was like maybe
i should
buy a [ __ ] club and start a club
and so that became my focus it became
this thing where i was thinking i really
should do that i really should like set
it up so that i'm setting up the right
way so i'm not setting up to try to make
money i'm just setting up to make an
amazing environment for comedy and have
a home for comedians where they just
feel good yeah if they can go there and
that's a great spot to hang out and you
just feel good about the
the atmosphere you'll be able to perform
well you'll be treated well like
everyone would be you know treated with
respect and with fun and just a good
attitude has the city been receptive to
it has there been like any like kickback
like that has there been any like
barriers to creating a comedy club that
you didn't expect just because you've
never done it before it's a it's a
process i mean it took a long time to
get the permits and all that stuff but
it wasn't you know it's just normal it's
normal for any business and especially
if you're going to get a liquor license and
and
all that jazz and you're gonna have live
performance yeah
dude i heard you and that guy they were
talking about y'all talking about horse
sex and the in the uh
when i pulled up in the lobby like okay
this is my kind of place today dude i
saw in new orleans one time they had a
lot of the cops in the french quarter on
horseback yeah and two of the horses
started [ __ ] with them with the cops
on them bro
were the cops getting mad
one of them was
was the other one excited the one in the
back i think was kind of [ __ ] vibing
with it a little because at least he was
in the winning position you know right
you don't want to be the guy where the
horse gets done [ __ ] that horse and
he starts [ __ ] you
yeah yeah or the horse collapses and you
get trapped under it i saw a horrible
video the other day of these dudes were
racing horses they're running and a dog
a yappy dog
runs out onto the track and the horse
trips over the dog and the guy dies what
was the dog running out there to tell
them something or something uh yeah no
like degrees
oh just some shitty dog that thought
it'd be a good idea to bark at a [ __ ]
horse and the horse trips and the horse
is in full throttle
and the horse trips over this dog and
the you know lands on this guy the guy
goes you know the horse goes head first
and the guy goes with him so the guy
goes down the horse comes on top of him
and crushes him and the guy died you
want to see it
yeah okay
i'll find it i'll see it man i didn't
want to at first
but now you're thinking about it now i'm
in dude they had a fundraiser one time
when i was going to lsu they had a
fundraiser there for a guy who had
gotten hurt playing football right yeah
so they raised all this money they
wanted to get him a nice fancy
wheelchair one that has like you know
like everything on it like the um
centrifuge or whatever you can have on a
wheelchair right speakers
and um
and also get him a golden retriever like
an animal because he had gotten uh
paraplegia from playing football right
right
they get him those things right there's
fundraisers a couple of different at a
couple of different lsu games people are
walking around the parking lot with
buckets and stuff raising funds
they get him that
and they give it to him and then a few
months later
they got the dog had
the wheelchair or whatever it had like
life support on it for the guy as well
he had to have some kind of like oxygen system
system
the dog pulled the plug out from the
yeah oh no so
so
but yeah seeing those horses [ __ ] made
me want to be a cop dude for a little
while this [ __ ] look like a party
especially in new orleans you know where
people are kind of dancing anyway in the street
street
i can't find the video but i can find
you a video of a komodo dragon
swallowing with a deer hole
if that's what i gotta take dude
that's your second option bro did you
see that um we made the uh fox news
last night i get home right i'm looking
at some different news sites
that front page of fox news was joe
rogan reading the tick tock oh when we
were reading the terms of uh service
yeah [ __ ] crazy right yeah but it was
the front it was the main thing yeah it
was it was like and it almost was like i
was like watch this
watch this video this is bananas
bananas
he already swallowed it he'll he'll do
it again here he goes watch this wow
wow
i've never look at that
seems like it's sped up a little
i've never had goat
it's good it's an unusual tasting meat i
had aardvark at a wedding one time
aardvark yeah what kind of wedding was
that it was um i think it was just like
a white wedding or something like
like
they said it was hard work it could have
been something else though or they could
have missed
white wedding no it was like a regular
like uh two whites getting married you know
know
they ate aardvark they said they were yeah
yeah
this was in louisiana when i was growing
up it was a fancy french place and they
said that they had hard bark over there
so we believed them um
um
but yeah i just thought it was crazy
that so the so the head so
like it was like the night after we did
the interview same day right so the the
the
the head article is joe rogan reads the
tick tock agreement right it's like
it's almost like
someone said like is joe the only person
who's reading the terms of service of
things in america and the rest of us are
just using [ __ ] like right out of the
box like not even paying attention
to what's going on that's what i felt
like a little bit i think a lot of
people are now with with things like
tick tock because there's been a lot of
articles written about it and a lot of
people calling for it to be banned
because it's basically chinese spyware
but if they get us then what would they
like so say we talked about it a little
bit the other day but say they get like
they infiltrate all the electronics they
get all the data and everything but then
how do they get us as people like how do
they get us into the cages well
i don't think it's as simple as get
people in the cages i think what they
want is intellectual property they want
to steal data and they want to like if
they have access to your computer and
say what if you're working on some
[ __ ] weapon system or what if you're
working on
something some communication system and
they have access to your computer they
can steal that data
from your computer because they have
access to it because you're using tick
tock so it's just about information yeah
one of the more disturbing things is
saying that they have access to
computers that aren't even being used
for tick tock
right like other computers
which is just that's crazy it's so
insane that that would actually be
something that someone would allow they
had a an engineer a software engineer
back engineered tick tock and said it
was the most
most
in terms of like invasion of privacy it
was the most egregious example that
they'd ever found
so wouldn't do wouldn't there be some
some comp some structure
or template in american society or
government or hierarchy that would
protect us from that sort of thing why
that's what i understand sometimes why
isn't there like a
something that protects us from that
sort of thing or is it just our own responsibilities
responsibilities
i don't know
what they can do now other than ban it
but i know they were talking about
bannon banning it for a while but then
there was some sort of a deal that was
made where the data was going to go the
from the american version of tick tock
was going to go to america but it turns
out that it's not it's going straight to
china and then they get the version to
america see if that's correct see that
sounds like what i read that's pretty
good yeah
and we're gonna keep using it it's
almost like because what like what if
they hit they told women there's a
makeup that would steal your face right [Laughter]
[Laughter]
like you put it on and it's gonna put
your face in china yeah and then we
still use it right
i mean that just shows me the level of
addiction that we have to uh social
media yeah yeah i mean it's a it's an
addiction they have an office here tick
tock has an office in austin for people
that need help yeah you know how i found
about that some lady was heckling at the
creek in the cave and she said like what
do you do she's like i work for tick-tock
tick-tock damn
damn [Laughter]
[Laughter]
how old was she she's in her 20s oh
that's all right dude tony ripped into
that lady the other night that lady was
a tables very sad there was some [ __ ]
drunks last night man some rowdy ass
people for a tuesday yeah you crushed
man it was fun it was cool i hadn't seen
you performing along i mean i hadn't
seen a lot of people performing a long time
time
yeah it's uh here it goes leaked audio
from 80 internal tick tock meetings show
that user data u.s user data has been
repeatedly accessed from china
i feel like with these tools there's
some back door to access user data in
almost all of them said an internal
auditor hired to help tick-tock close
off chinese access to sensitive
information like americans birthdays and
phone numbers
and if you look at the terms of service
it's a lot more than that yeah what they
have the ability to
access is a lot more than that that the
terms of service is nuts just reading
that any company that would try to sell
you on social media and it's one thing
to like say oh we're going to target ads
in your direction we're kind of used to
that right whatever like with google and
share like i don't mind if they send ads
my way
but that what they're doing is nuts they
have access to your audio that means
they have access to your [ __ ] microphone
microphone
they're listening to you talk that's
scary yeah like if you're having a
conversation like we're to do this deal
with china and what we're going to sell
them is this but how much [ __ ] they
have to listen to just people [ __ ]
listening you know like talking to an
animal or [ __ ] you know like uh
recording like a recipe for a buddy or
something like how much [ __ ] are
they having to [ __ ] say like it's
almost sad if there's just like a you
know just a feel like a football field
of chinese people
just listening to americans like [ __ ]
and clear their throat and [ __ ] i think
most that stuff they're not interested
in they're interested in targeting
specific individuals like let's say
you're uh an executive at a big software
company okay and they know that your
kids are using tick tock and their kids
you're also using your computer well
they get access to your computer now
right this is what it seemed to me i
mean obviously i'm a
ludite luddite luddite when it comes to
this [ __ ] so i'm just explaining from
what i'm reading in terms of like what
could this could be interpreted as
they they have access to your keystrokes
yeah meaning like whatever you're typing
right you're typing to your wife like
i'm tired of your [ __ ] like whatever
you're typing they have access to that
but it's just crazy that all of them are
going to be in their sleep those people
that work there in the middle of the
night they just have some love letter to
some [ __ ] you know a couple gay dudes
or you know some [ __ ] you know kid
like sending his you know like dirty
pictures to his buddies it's just like
they're going to be [ __ ] losing their
minds i don't think they're processing
all that i know what you're saying but i
don't think they would access that yeah
i think what they would do is use it
specifically to target individuals that
they think are working on
valuable information
stuff yeah or if someone was like doing
something that was the the chinese party
deemed bad for china you know
maybe some chinese person over here was
like uh selling chinese information to
him they could find out all kinds of stuff
stuff
say this something like this happens right
right
you're like
you're leaving work okay okay and
and
things got compromised out in the world
you were at work you're doing a podcast
episode or something and like things
just kind of hit that level where it's
like maybe a couple police precincts
have been taken over just by vandals and
crazies like like the pendulum starting uh
uh
things are getting like a wall right and
then everything the purge right so
you're driving home you're getting
[ __ ] cam haines is sending you have
[ __ ] a thousand hammers you know what
i'm saying like you're getting all of
you everybody's just texting you you
know jocko is like i'm i'm not even
waking up tomorrow for work i'll be up
all you know i'm just gonna be up at 4
30 right like everything's all what do
you do like how do you this is the end
this is when it's like all right joe
rogan you hear you know what i'm saying
you hear it just comes from god or from
something like a strong wind with a [ __ ]
[ __ ]
with a voice box in it you it's like
this is it this is the apocalypse you're
leaving work this is it i guess you have
to respond to each individual situation
um on
you it's like each thing will be unique
like is someone trying to break in your
house is someone trying to
rob your
you know someone trying to break in your
car while you're driving okay so you
have an hour you have kind of an hour to
give we'll give you 90 minutes you have
90 minutes to kind of get before that
you're gonna start to feel some pressure
what do you do
i don't know i just load up some
magazines oh i'm [ __ ] but i'm
wondering what do you do you know that's
what i would do i'd probably load up
some magazines okay into what
into guns okay okay okay yeah i see i
i'm reading time magazine dude
dude
i'm like i just see joe with as many
copies of field and stream as you can
[ __ ] live well you could use those
magazines as like protection you stack
enough of them okay so each other okay
now you're thinking slow bullets down
okay but say like you pick up your
family or something do you guys stay do
you have a bunker
i don't currently but this conversation
is making me want a bunker yeah yeah yeah
yeah
i've wanted a ranch for that very reason
like if [ __ ] goes completely sideways it
would be great if there's a place with
water and food we got you got your water
you got your food like on the property
okay what about if you're kind of in a
city or you're in like a um
like what's maybe a business or
something you'd hold up in you think is
viable a business that i'd hold up in it
would have to be some sort of fortified
establishment like the mall no
no
no you'd have to get something that
you could defend
dude the mall
yeah the mall
i think you'd have probably like think
of all you could hide in the [ __ ]
macy's behind all the hiding cinnabon
behind the counter yeah yeah
just squeeze the frost into your mouth
and [ __ ]
it would be a good excuse to eat that
food because like i got to eat something
and that stuff will keep because a lot
of that stuff has like all the um
preservatives preservatives in it so
you'd have that you'd have mannequins in
there think about that you could set up
like a um
like a mirage right right right like a
fake sort of situation yeah where people
would think that dude but you're behind
that yeah right yeah
so the mall i think could be good hmm
yeah i've been thinking about that um
i would go to the mall really yeah the mall
mall
yeah because nobody's at the mall
anymore but the dumbest people are at
the mall they're gonna [ __ ] it up for you
you
they gotta go they're gonna go the
russians are here guys
okay shut the [ __ ] up i'm pretending to
i'm like hey
yeah
that's gonna be the problem is dumb
people when [ __ ] goes south there's some
people that just like they're [ __ ]
they're ditch diggers they're dumb
people they're they're [ __ ] they're
they're
minimum wage thinkers but they're gonna
have a lot of weapons though probably maybe
maybe
i don't know every i think a lot of
people have weapons now but i think if
things go sideways
a lot of people are going to panic in
the chaos right oh immediately people
will be panicking people will be trying
to group up some people will be trying
to salvage [ __ ] that is going to go that
person's going to go yeah there's going
to be a lot of people that are going to
fall apart
but that's always like whenever things
go weird
people fall apart you know a lot of
people don't respond to pressure very
well yeah yeah i know i got stuck in an
elevator one time i was at mardi gras
and uh we were in there for like 17
minutes and some dude there's two girls
and there's like nine people it was like
a busy day at mardi gras
i'm there with my buddy josh kelly he's
a musician he's playing we take this
elevator and like nine of us get stuck
in this elevator for like maybe an hour
but you can hear mardi gras going around
we're like how long are we gonna be in
here and we're in there in a little
while and some guy goes to two girls in
there he goes don't worry nobody in here
is gonna rape y'all that's what he said
and if suddenly like everything in there
just changed we're like nobody's even
thinking about that [ __ ] you know how
honestly i bet it was almost as big as
this table
big out big elevator yeah maybe two feet
smaller on that end maybe one foot so
not so big elevator yeah and some guy
kept trying to just pull the doors open
as hard as he could
and how many people are in there with
you i would say seven people seven
people and two of them are girls yeah boy
boy
suck to be them after that idiot has to
say that yeah yeah dude because you have
to think about that yeah
no one's gonna rape you like what the
[ __ ] man imagine and if he's not
thinking about raping them then you
think he's gonna be thinking about you
know did anybody tell him to shut the
[ __ ] up uh people just said calm down
calm down
you know it was but it was just
interesting how it escalated like you
know things started to escalate
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have you ever been in a riot like a riot
type situation
no i was at beta breakers one time on
mushrooms in
san francisco though
what is beta breakers what is that it's
like a bunch of people they're like
racers they're like um
they race in the street you know what
kind of racing um just for long distance
the canyons always win it yeah running
okay yeah running racing
so it's a bunch of those folks bay two
breakers i thought you were saying beta
breakers yeah bay two breakers
i thought he was saying that too so i
typed in
oh no beta breakers i think is a little
different bay two breakers yep so that's
the run yep so that's the run
and you can just get in costumes and
just be in the be in it it's like oh
like the dude is dressed up like a pink
monkey yeah how weird is that he's at
the front oh mcdonald's they dressed up
like ronald mcdonald yeah so people just
do all kind of costumes oh interesting
and we ate a bunch of shrooms out there
and kind of commandeered this water
table there was a water table that had
kind of been left on uh unattended what
is a water table just a table with a
bunch of tablespoons on it okay so we
got over there and people were running
you know they're going and we started
telling people that the water was for
asian people only right
oh we are
crying laughing because people are
running they can't stop they're trying
to make a time so for some people like
bro it's asians only and it was like [Laughter]
[Laughter]
and then asian people were all excited
you know and we kept dousing them up
dude we were [ __ ]
i would take pictures with like uh
people and i'd have my [ __ ] nuts
hanging out the whole time
yeah bro we were asking pictures of
people here
how old are you at the time
i don't know man probably 28. [Laughter]
[Laughter]
and people like hey let's get a picture
together so we get it and i just slip
that bag out there baby that [ __ ] gum holster
holster
you know what i'm saying
i had a friend of mine i used to do that
all the time just pull his nuts out tom
caught her he was on uh dancing with no
uh america's got talent yeah he's so
funny yeah he's a funny dude
i knew tom way back in the day and he
used to do what he called a sack walk or
he would pull his sack out out of the
zipper and just walk around and parties
and he was just like no time what the
[ __ ] are you doing man is nuts to be
hanging out of his pants
yeah he used to be able to party like that
that
army still does who does ari he'll still
party like that
yeah it's interesting man he's already
such an interesting dude isn't he he's a
very interesting dude he's a he's a he
has like
he's is very much his own person yes
yeah there's not a lot of people like
that dude
yeah i really admire that about him um
um
so okay so the end of the world's
happening and then i would be at the
mall or maybe you know what what what if
you went offshore
in like a boat and let the [ __ ] [ __ ]
let it happen watch it from a distance
let it melt that'd be a good move if you
had a big boat if you had a boat with
food on it but boats take diesel engine
fuel and that's like where are you
getting your diesel from like how are
you going to get that boat back to shore
like what do you you know okay so you
got a preps you got to have some diesel
on you right you gotta have another boat
with diesel you got to have a second
boat a feeder boat yeah like a tanker
and i'll work on that so you get a
tanker tanker like 15 years worth of
your boat's gonna be this big you're
gonna have all this [ __ ]
your houseboat that you're sleeping on
you just smell like diesel all the time
diesel's a terrible smell really i like
it i like the smell of gasoline i like
to smell again you know what i like the
smell of magic markers sharpies pop the
top yeah oh
get in there dude the black ones i'll
[ __ ] blm and he's snout holding baby
sales that jeff bezos's boat has oh wow
oh he's got a boat with sails yeah
that's his that boat that
giant yacht he has what that's it yeah
yeah when i was looking at pictures oh
so it's going to have sales
a lot of the big ones do they do when i
was looking them up earlier yeah there's
giant boats with giant sails on them why
is that
so they don't have to so they can still
work i think if they get stuck somewhere oh
oh
that's how they used to travel
wow see that's key too you're gonna have
to have that because what if you're just
a backup yeah what if your stuff goes
maybe jeff bezos knows some [ __ ] we
don't know
i'm sure he probably does does he come
in here
he hasn't but i would have him in you
would yeah [ __ ] yeah i think that'd be
interesting i'll talk to that dude my
mom works for him i wonder if he knows
some [ __ ] that we don't know in terms of
like [ __ ] going down
how addictive are those things
very addictive yeah you were hitting
that last night hard did you notice that
stop you wouldn't stop that's how i am
man if i get something i get it [Laughter]
[Laughter]
you know what i'm saying gasoline magic marker
marker
escobars whatever i'm gonna hit it one
more time dude just to [ __ ]
feel it well crazy head rush from those
don't you yeah yeah those
nicotine vape pens they're good for
thinking though for whatever reason oh
nicotine is a is a cognitive uh enhancer
it's like a nootropic
oh i don't know if i believe that but it
hurt to me it makes me just not be able
to sleep that good it makes me like wake
no but it is it is like like that's one
of the things that stephen king said
really affected him uh in his writing
um
so i got a question for you so a couple
whenever you're like
like
comics always knew that you were doing
well right like but whenever you got like
like
whenever you got your spotify deal
was it scary that pete because they
attached like such big figures to it in
the press right was that scary that
people knew that you were wealthy did
that book did that was that scary at all um
um
i wouldn't say it's scary but it's just
one of those things where people like
start debating whether or not you should
have that money why don't they give that
money to other people why don't you fix
the streets and the schools and why is
and then there's some people that just
get jealous so they get angry you know
and there's a lot of angry
jealous comedians unfortunately and
there's a lot of comedians that look at
other people's success and they feel bad
so they think that you're doing
something bad because they feel bad
because they don't like the way it makes
them feel when someone's killing it like
a lot of comedians are narcissists and a
lot of them are very self-centered and
egomaniacs yeah and so they think that
when you're doing something well or
something's going well for you it's
somehow another take something away from them
them
you know why does that happen do you think
think
famine thinking people think like this
is not enough for everybody with comedy
there clearly is enough for everybody
with podcasts there's clearly enough for
everybody and when when other people are
doing well it's actually better for
everybody because it like gets more
people interested in podcasts more
people getting interested in comedy
that's my take on it but i'm
that's my i've always had that take i've
always like tried to help other
comedians oh yeah i think yeah i think
i'm trying to remember
you i think inspire a lot of people to
try and think that way more you know i
heard you talking about that on andrew
schultz's uh show and i think you
inspire a lot of people to try and think like
like
yeah just br yeah you know help
everybody rising tide lifts all boats
yeah it's good for everybody yeah and
it's good also for the art form which is
good for you
it's good for your act like when other
people are killing it it's good for you
you just can't
you can't have that that miserly way of
thinking that some people have or they
want it all for themselves you can't
just that's not good well some of it's a
fee it's a i think especially for some
people that they never came from
anything it's a very
it can be scary you know yeah
yeah it can be scary it can be scary
because they've never had anything so
it's such like this is gonna go away you
know it's like um
i've probably had moments like that in
my life for sure yeah where i just was
like oh this
yeah you think it's going to go away
yeah especially well when you're not
really totally established yet you just
start getting a little bit of success yeah
yeah yeah
yeah
do you feel like
since you become more of a celebrity has
it made podcasting any different because
like you started to get picked up by all
the tablets and we got picked up for you
reading the damn user agreement yeah you
know it's like what is that kind of
pressure like is it like you wake up in
the morning you're like what is is it
like a
what's gonna be in this box today of i
don't read it right no i just keep going
i just keep doing it the same way i've
always done it
like this yeah sit down have a good time talk
talk
talk some [ __ ] yeah yeah i mean that's um
um
as long as you just keep doing it the
same way
i mean that's why it's still successful
because i do it the same way yeah i
don't i don't change anything i i get
better guests i get more you know people
that maybe weren't interested in doing
it before because it's so popular
they'll do it now yeah which is great
you know and then maybe some people are
scared to do it now because they're
scared of criticism they're scared of uh
being exposed they're they're scared of
the the heat that comes from all that
millions of eyes on you
do you think that yeah there's some
people who would
have you had people like that you've
reached out to them like they you just
think they're too scared
uh there's certain people that don't
feel comfortable with being in front of
such a large audience yeah for sure
there's a few people that i wanted to
get on they're like man i don't know if
i can like deal with that i'll get
nervous and i've had people that wanted
to do it in a more comfortable setting
too like they feel like the studio
audience the the studio atmosphere
rather is daunting with all the cameras
like couldn't we just like set it up at
your house or something like that like
they just start trying to mitigate
whatever the pressure would be from
doing something that millions of people
are going to see
i can understand that i mean this is
i've been i've never talked to my father
this much and as we've
added all of our time together no
i haven't i've never spent that much
time with my own dad but how many laughs
we've had yeah that's true laugh our ass
off just the other day yeah and last
night laugh our house off last night
yeah yeah [ __ ] fun man [ __ ] fun
it's the greatest and kill tony was so
good that show is the best it's the best
show kill tony's the best show for
comedy for stand-ups like up and coming
stand-ups there's no better atmosphere
no better and there's it's the
cornerstone of stand up in austin
because it's such a good show and you
for one minute all you have to do is
just be funny all that woke [ __ ] all
that virtue signaling all that's out the
window all that like posing you got one
minute you better come with some jokes
come with some jokes yeah or just come i
think people would laugh at that dude if
somebody got up there and backed down
for a second it depends on where it
lands i don't know dude i pantsed bert
crusher during one yeah i pulled his
[ __ ] pants down he had no underwear
on his his ass was half hanging out he
stood up and he raised his arms up in
the air and he took his shirt off and i
[ __ ] pulled his pants right down
show him that [ __ ]
yeah yeah he should just go full nudist
how long is it good how long until
pressure goes fully nude well he did
something the other day with a [ __ ] with
a sock over his [ __ ] he was doing
something and at that point you're just
a damn nine iron dude you know what i'm
saying he's halfway to [ __ ] nudity
he's close all he has on his pants his
pants are sagging
dude my sister you uh one time was using
drugs sorry i love you babe but um
she uh
and she's awesome she's like
i love her so much and but she did some
she got high with some guy on a date
right and they did they went rock
climbing which seems insane to do in
your high and ended up at a nudist
colony on top yeah i like it of some
small plateau yeah wow
wow
geez oh pretty cool imagine falling naked
naked
oh i mean it's not like clothes are
gonna protect you but you'd feel like
something about falling from the would
be extra scary to fall naked
dude say you're falling right all right
you have a turtleneck on do you put your head
do you put your head inside or not i
don't think you even think about it yeah
you do probably have a heart attack you
don't think about it you think about it
you're that's what you do you're the
best thinker so you don't think you
would you think i would no i'd be
thinking of how to cushion the flaw the
fall somehow so what would you land when
you think chest first probably you have
a strong chest
no i think you'd want to like
land on your feet and try to collapse
your whole body and roll but you're dead
you know there's a certain height that
you're just dead
my buddy made love to a plane survivor
one time and uh
and then she ended up becoming a lesbian
after that which is kind of crazy she
turned her
i think she never she never she just i
think she's trying to help him out [Laughter]
[Laughter]
so she wasn't she wasn't straight to
begin with yeah right and i think they
both had a kind of buzz cut and they
just [ __ ]
but um
what about like so has your life just
because your life's so interesting man
it's like so many people try to like i
think emulate
joe rogan you know and it i think they
really emulate well i think they try to
emulate you know they hear so many
guests on here and people that are doing
positive stuff right
and so they try to emulate that universe
you know um that's good
yeah no it's awesome do you feel like
it's ever tough for you like for you to
keep up with b and joe rogan does that
ever start to get to like a thing in
your head is that a crazy question no
it's not a crazy question but i don't
think like that right i just just keep
doing what i'm doing
like if i stop tomorrow i'd be cool
i enjoy doing everything i enjoy doing
comedy i enjoy
doing podcasts i enjoy doing the ufc but
if i stop doing all of it tomorrow i'd
find other [ __ ] to do yeah i like do you
like doing stuff yeah i like doing
things i would probably just get really
more into archery and playing pool and
uh maybe i'd start drawing again or
something i mean i i don't need to do
what i'm doing i need to do things right
you know i'd probably just like invest
more time in jiu jitsu
really yeah do just different stuff yeah yeah
yeah
yeah that's interesting i i think i see
that with you because you mentioned archery
archery
sorry where's that button at yeah there
you go buddy
under the button if i have to there's a
cough button it's a red button right
yeah
sometimes i drink these kill cliffs i
get a little flammy i talked to the man
that runs that company really cool guy
oh yeah he's the best john shout out to
john yeah these are the [ __ ] man i love
this this is a this flavor this ignite
is uh well the ignite is the same flavor
as the cbd one but this uh pineapple
jalapeno was my idea this is all my
drink that's why is my face all over it
flaming joe
let me get in this bastard get in there
son that's what that is this is um all
right we came up with this idea we were
talking and we were talking about coming
up with a specific flavor and i said you
know what would be dope pineapple
jalapeno and he was like oh i like it
and so we went through like
i think like seven or eight different
versions of it until we came to this one
but this one just nails it
does it have honey in it you think
i don't believe so
i love honey dude i love honey too dude
we used to go by the bus stop and we'd
sneak off in the woods and get those
honeysuckles remember those oh yeah
[ __ ] were good dude i like honeycomb
we just scoop it out with the wax and
you chew on the wax so you're not even
sure whether you should swallow it or
spit it out ooh well that [ __ ] sounds
more for
something you give a young lady just
getting into high school you know
but if you like honeycomb like you eat
honeycomb the honey's in there it tastes
delicious but then you're chewing on
that wax oh yeah and you're like what am
i supposed to do with this wax
yeah what is that wax made out of by the
way because it's not wax like what is
the wax made out of when a bee makes wax
is that really wax beeswax what is that
well yeah they say beeswax jamie can you
bring that up do you mind what is wax
sorry that i could ask well it's like
what is wax i'll tell you what is the
thing that i've never thought candle wax
what is that it's made out of oils and
stuff right well it's almost like a it's
like a because it disappears and then it
can go back to being solid it's a pretty
powerful substance when you think about
it but beeswax is not the same as candle
wax right
i mean i'm sure that they have a lot of
similarities i mean
people use wax on um their cars too
think about that right yeah oh yeah well
those are like synthetics for most boxes
waxes are a diverse class of organic
compounds that are
lipophilic malleable solids near ambient
they include
i was paying attention too that's the
they include higher
alkanes and lipids typically with
melting points above 40 celsius
melting to give low viscosity fluids
waxes are insoluble in water but soluble
soluble in organic non-polar
solvents oh wow yeah because it is
interesting if you take a thing of wax
ever just melted and pour it in a thing
of water just turns right back into wax
or you got ass wax we're pulling that
hair off
oh yeah
i've gotten in there baby beeswax is a
natural wax produced by the honeybees of
the genus apis the wax is formed into
scales by
eight wax producing glands in the
abdominal segments of worker bees
which discard it
in or at the hive
wow i'm not shocked dude
bees are amazing well you know bees are
dying too yeah
yeah
bees are dying from the heat
is it the heat yep they're evaporating
they ejaculate and their whole body
blows up is that real bring it up jamie [Laughter]
[Laughter]
i'm gonna [ __ ] do something in here
today i watched a thing today on murder
hornets they're trying to rename murder hornets
hornets
to what okay i didn't probably die in here
here
at temperatures over 107 degrees
fahrenheit is estimated that half of
male bees will die
in this manner within six hours
with more sensitive individuals dying
after only two or three hours the
headline is the manner there oh bees
ejaculating themselves to death and heat
waves [ __ ] yeah baby spring break baby i
thought you were just making your [ __ ]
up click on that
hell no dude this isn't all i'm sure
this is
panama city beach floor
please click on that link what happened
this is kid rocks honey that's who's
making this [ __ ] that is for sure if
it's got semen in it bees ejaculating
themselves to death and heat waves viral
story explained
all right hit that so we can hear it
play yeah does it play is it just music
okay yeah leading to
in the u.s nearly 35 million people
are under excessive heat warnings or advisories
advisories
however the heat wave in europe is of
particular concern due to the lack of
widespread air conditioning yep
the hottest day ever in the uk was
recorded in congress in yorkshire july
19th hitting a temperature of 104.5
degrees fahrenheit the heat wave is left
to wildfires in europe
with fires breaking out in residential
areas around london england
on the outskirts of athens greece and
the western germany let it burn two
firefighters were injured while fighting
a break please twist their angles
there's a false headline then yeah it's
a [ __ ] headline where's the bees
it's not in that video where's the bees
they're jerking off to death there they are
are
we don't know why
drones ejaculate when they get too
stressed who doesn't [Music]
[Music]
allison mcafee a postdoctoral fellow at
the university of british columbia's
michael smith laboratories told newsweek
ejaculation kills them because it
basically eviscerates their abdomen
this happens during natural mating too
drone honeybees always die after mating
oh what a terrible way to go would you
but they still do it maybe it's suicide
they don't know any better oh yeah they
don't know till after they don't have books
books
[ __ ] yeah what if you could make a
little bitty book that told them
they can't read
imagine what a bcs they have like 80
eyeballs on each side they probably see
wild [ __ ] you might what does reality
look like to a bee
i don't ever see that it's probably a
lot of sounds and like sonars you ever
see what a bee's eyes look like up close
oh my god put pull up a close-up of a
bee's eyes pull it up pull up that look
at this look at that thing man mother
lord there's
hairs coming off of it look at all the different
different
oh look at that simple eyes they have
more than one kind of eye that's me
simple click on that one up there in the
right yeah let's see that top to the
right of your cursor jamie yeah that one
look at that boy look at the eye that's wild
wild
like what does reality look like to a b
they have hairs coming out of their
[ __ ] eyeballs well hairs are are used
i think to detect a lot of feelings and
stuff like that
so imagine what they're pulling in
through their eyes imagine if you could
just look what that thing looks like
what a crazy animal it's just there's
they're little so we just kind of got
used to them
but that is a strange [ __ ] creature
like those eyes are wild i mean this is
a small alien right yes 100
yeah i mean that's starship troopers
remember that movie
you remember starship troopers nah we
didn't see a lot of space things when i
was a child
this was probably
20 years ago
was about 20 years ago let's see
probably like 99 97
27 is it 97 really oh pull up a video of
starship troopers so what it was was
these these folks they landed on some
planet and there was giant bugs and they
had to go to war with the bugs so that's
what starship troopers was tristar presents
look it's kind of campy
you know it's like
but these bugs [ __ ] these people up
from the director of robocop total recall
recall
ah he's running uh oh
oh
well it's a [ __ ] fun movie and is
that denise richards in there yeah and
it was young and hot
whoa they all said that thing in there
where they people could get healed by
going in like that vat and the robot
would just re-animate
missing limbs and oh that's coming neil
patrick harris is in it too yeah look at that
that
this is a wild ass movie it's a good
movie do you think they'll ever be able
to email people to a new spot
they'll be able to like star wars type
or star trek type like beam me up scotty
that kind of [ __ ] maybe yeah
yeah
reassemble you disassemble you and
reassemble you will there be different
like airlines kind of like you feel like
like um they'll probably lose you like
they lose luggage
what'd you do with my uncle
sorry we lose a thousand people every year
year
but do you want to go to cancun or not [Laughter]
[Laughter] okay
okay
have you paid attention to all the
luggage that gets lost now oh man yeah
what is the increase in lost luggage
over the last year something happened
during the pandemic where they didn't
work for a while so everybody forgot how
to do luggage is that what you think
happened i think there's
there's there's an argument that
there's incompetence and there's an
argument that they are they just haven't
trained these people right this people
have left i don't know what the real
story is
i've heard a lot of people trying to
figure out why the airlines are so bad
right now yeah and what they're doing do
you think that
governmentally run things just overall
are starting to fall apart it kind of
government's not good at a lot of stuff
you know because the people working for
the government
i mean how much
you have kind of like a fixed amount of
money you can make look at all that
luggage that's canada there's why i've
also heard at heathrow airport there's
just giant pipes this is the way luggage
jesus christ this technical issue at
heathrow oh it's just a technical issue
i don't know good luck finding your bag
we should fly fedex i wish fedex flew people
people
they'd be better at it yeah they just
get it yeah it's like they always get it
there it's like even if it's a day late
or whatever it is fedex always gets it
there i feel i'm sure you lose some
things with fedex but i don't hear about
a lot being lost but you hear about a
lot being lost with this [ __ ] with
airlines lately yeah
yeah even people i mean people are not
people aren't disappearing but they're
not getting where they need to go
oh yeah i heard about a little kid that
was traveling to see his parents and
they cancelled the second leg of his
flight without letting no his parents
know oh he's just stuck at the airport
he's 10.
and they'll probably sign a book deal
with him
now yeah
yeah now he's got a podcast yeah
stuck at the airport hey my name's tommy
i'm at the airport i don't know where my
parents are i don't even have a phone
dude a buddy of mine met a girl on a
flight right the flight never took off
they made him get off the plane
the girl's like you can come stay at my
place um
he goes to her place and it's her
grandmother's place and they slept in
the same bed as their grandmother and
they didn't even get to make out or
anything whoa they slept in the same bed
as a grandmother why don't you sleep on
the floor
i like i'm good can you just give me a blanket
blanket
yeah i would but they were of a
different um ethnicity and so i think it
was like he was more common more
honorable yeah oh i see like this is how
we do it this is my granddaughter she
sleeps you know it's like this is how we
do it here everybody sleeps in the bed
but does he spoon with the daughter or
does the grandmother sleep in the middle
don't move don't get a heart on
oh man yeah that hard almost that sounds
like a porno right like my grandmother
sleeps really heavy yeah
don't worry sure yes i'm sure it's okay
just slip it in
that sounds like a porn
there's porn's like that i've seen porns
like that where like uh don't wake the
bunny or whatever where like uh a guy is
uh in bed
and then uh like the step-daughter comes
in and [ __ ] him while the wife's asleep
oh wow you know like the wife's
pretending to be asleep you know porn
actors aren't that good at acting either
so the wife is like
squinting her eyes closed like you know
she's not really asleep
and the fake steph daughter is [ __ ]
it's always like naughty stuff
there's a lot of naughty like the one
thing that picked up big time during the
pandemic was like step brother
stepsister porn where they were
pretending it's a step brother or a
stepsister because people got like stuck
in houses together
well do you oh i didn't even thought
about that you think that they were
leading people to [ __ ] huh well i think
they were like capitalizing on fantasies
that people would have if they were
stuck in a house with their family so
like say if your dad remarries like
you're 17 and your dad remarries this
new woman and this woman has a 18 year
old daughter and uh you're stuck in this
house with this girl who's now your sister
sister
but she's not really your sister
i feel like i'm a driver to school and
they're like school's closed like we're
gonna drive by and check
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people do you think more people are
related than we realize that there's
more that that's sometimes why people
get um like born with certain
deficiencies and stuff like that like
down syndrome and all that because more
more
down syndrome
because more people are related
um i don't know what causes that but i
would imagine that if you do have sex
with people you're related to
what are the odds that like how how high
do the odds increase if you have sex
with your cousin versus how odds the the
uh how high do the odds increase if you
have sex with like your sister if if you
create a a child that has a deformity oh
i bet forty percent can you bring it up
jamie i bet it's a very what what's
what's google first cousin how dangerous
is it breeding with your first cousin
yeah so i just wanted to tempt you i
wrote that in front of you to see how
you feel
it seems like there's an unlimited
amount of nicotine in these things too
it's like very confusing it makes a lot
of spit sometimes it makes my lips hot
and i can't taste water if i drink it
okay having a baby with the first cousin
more than doubles the risk of congenital
problems such as heart and lung defects
cleft palates and extra fingers
according to the largest study ever held
in the uk
yeah they used to call that cleft palate
by us they'd call it cousin lip if
people had it two to three percent
chance their child is born with a birth
defect genetic uh syndrome or disability
now what about sisters brothers and sisters
sisters
let's uh
take a guess
and a lot of times this used to happen
joe because people didn't have the
ability to travel far so even if you went
went
you know
2 000 yards or 8 000 yards you were
still over time people were still
related even if they didn't realize it
well that's uh one of the concerns about
that place north sentinel island that um
that island of uh uncontacted people
there's only 39 of them yeah you were
talking about it yeah are you talking
about that oh about the bible guy yeah
yeah yeah that's uh
that place is there's only 39 of them
they have to be related what's kind of uh
uh
interesting about looking for this
google doesn't really want to show me
what i'm looking for it's only bringing
up animal inbreeding see that's crazy
wow so google will let you look up what
it's like to [ __ ] your cousin
but don't get crazy yeah i even
specifically said like sibling incest
and it's just showing animal stuff oh
wow well go to duckduckgo having a child
oh genetic risks of two siblings having
a child together here it goes a cure
look at that what's going on oh you [ __ ]
[ __ ]
pop-up ads a curious adult from texas asks
asks
is that us is that us
the future for the future crime people
have caught us incest laws seem to be
socially rather than genetically based
but i'm guessing there are biological
consequences too so what are the exact
genetic risks of two siblings having a
child together let's get down to it
two siblings have kids together have a
higher risk of passing on a recessive
disease to their kids
okay what do they what is the number though
though
they don't want to tell you
okay here it goes
if a brother and sister are both
carriers or have a child together each
of their children would have a one in
four chance of ending up with uh oh cf
is that cystic fibrosis yeah um by
getting a diseased copy of cftr from
each parent so the odds of this brother
and sister having a child with a disease
is one out of four
or one in 16.
now hmm i must say don't risk it
yeah don't risk it dude we used to they
used to say to us if if you rearrange
the letters a sister what does it spell resist
resist [Laughter]
[Laughter]
and i never forgot that that's good
that's smart yeah i thought it was helpful
helpful
um yes so i had a question like so you
know like how golf like the pga started
doing like the live you know like they
have people leaving the pga yeah because
this big money organization came in and
is paying the hot the best golfers
could something like that ever happen to
to the ufc do you feel like
that's an interesting question
um they've tried to do that before um
affliction came along before and they
got fedor and they got tim sylvia and
andre alofsky there was a lot of like
big name fighters that went over to
affliction and fought for them but they
went under after a few events it's hard
doing something like the ufc
first of all the ufc is so firmly
established it would be like trying to
create a new nba it's like maybe you
could do it but you need a lot of money
fortunately for this live golf thing is
it's run by the saudis and they
obviously have insane amounts of money
but even so people have passed on it
because they don't want to be associated
with the saudis
but do you think like if they start to
see that template work and we don't
really know if it's going to work yet i
mean they're just you know this it's
just started it really depends on how
much money they throw at them and how
long they continue to do it for
they have so much money
they have so much money we can't even
imagine it i don't think we can imagine
wow because you're talking about
trillions of dollars you're talking
about oil money i think they could just keep that ball
i think they could just keep that ball rolling
rolling if they decide to do that they may be
if they decide to do that they may be able to have like a real rival
able to have like a real rival but right now it's this is the first
but right now it's this is the first year is that correct jamie you're a golf
year is that correct jamie you're a golf guy first year second event has been
guy first year second event has been completed third there's going to be
completed third there's going to be eight events they got i guess that'd be
eight events they got i guess that'd be six more left and what does the vibe
six more left and what does the vibe feel like out there as a as somebody who
feel like out there as a as somebody who pays attention to golf and stuff does it
pays attention to golf and stuff does it feel like it's it's uh they don't have a
feel like it's it's uh they don't have a tv deal so it's all being broadcast
tv deal so it's all being broadcast differently i would guess that this is a
differently i would guess that this is a play to get a tv deal
play to get a tv deal there are still people they just got a
there are still people they just got a big announcer that um went over from i
big announcer that um went over from i think nbc he's been a long time 25 year
think nbc he's been a long time 25 year plus guy who's that his name's david
plus guy who's that his name's david ferrity he's got a really like
ferrity he's got a really like well-known voice for the for golf yeah
well-known voice for the for golf yeah now is there a stigma attached to this
now is there a stigma attached to this are these guys getting like yeah there
are these guys getting like yeah there is outcast for sure but they don't seem
is outcast for sure but they don't seem to mind that much because the money's so
to mind that much because the money's so great because the money is really great
great because the money is really great they don't have to play golf every week
they don't have to play golf every week like they had to oh so with the pga yeah
like they had to oh so with the pga yeah right and like uh who's the one guy was
right and like uh who's the one guy was phil mickelson is that his name biggest
phil mickelson is that his name biggest one getting
one getting roasted for it i guess and apparently
roasted for it i guess and apparently he's not playing good
he's not playing good that's the that's the other interesting
that's the that's the other interesting thing is
thing is they're already they're getting pre-paid
they're already they're getting pre-paid money so they don't it's not
money so they don't it's not performance-based there is
performance-based there is performance-based money that can come if
performance-based money that can come if they win there's more money to win in a
they win there's more money to win in a tournament but so there's less incentive
tournament but so there's less incentive you think they're getting they have like
you think they're getting they have like i read a four and a half year contract
i read a four and a half year contract right now is what most these guys have
right now is what most these guys have varying levels of money
varying levels of money six figures for some of them only six
six figures for some of them only six figures i'm sorry
figures i'm sorry on top of another it's okay man i'm
on top of another it's okay man i'm nervous too hundreds of millions of
nervous too hundreds of millions of dollars hundreds of millions for some
dollars hundreds of millions for some people yeah so for them they feel like
people yeah so for them they feel like [ __ ] this is my ticket out
[ __ ] this is my ticket out i could retire yeah yeah so [ __ ] it [ __ ]
i could retire yeah yeah so [ __ ] it [ __ ] all the stigma
all the stigma yeah and the argument against it is
yeah and the argument against it is really that they're not going to be
really that they're not going to be playing traditionally what everyone's
playing traditionally what everyone's been playing for over their careers of
been playing for over their careers of like uh i don't know the big tournaments
like uh i don't know the big tournaments that everybody's accustomed to but they
that everybody's accustomed to but they don't have a tv deal right now right
don't have a tv deal right now right it's just on youtube and their website
it's just on youtube and their website but man youtube is so big yeah but a lot
but man youtube is so big yeah but a lot for golf though i feel like a lot of
for golf though i feel like a lot of people there's something about i feel
people there's something about i feel like i see my stepdad watch is it on tv
like i see my stepdad watch is it on tv you know that's a sunday afternoon it's
you know that's a sunday afternoon it's a tv thing there's a tradition about
a tv thing there's a tradition about that that i feel like is really baked in
that that i feel like is really baked in the golf
the golf maybe i don't know enough about golf
maybe i don't know enough about golf yeah me neither but
yeah me neither but to answer your question yeah somebody
to answer your question yeah somebody could come along and do something like
could come along and do something like that it's possible
that it's possible you'd have to throw a lot of money
you'd have to throw a lot of money and you'd i mean you have to get guys
and you'd i mean you have to get guys that are out of their contract right
that are out of their contract right yeah yeah
yeah yeah you'd have to get guys that are out of
you'd have to get guys that are out of their contract or get guys that are on
their contract or get guys that are on the come up you know that like right
the come up you know that like right about to break into the ufc and get them
about to break into the ufc and get them before they you know cause there's a lot
before they you know cause there's a lot of like really talented guys that are
of like really talented guys that are coming up yeah
coming up yeah there's a company called one fc that is
there's a company called one fc that is uh based out of uh asia
uh based out of uh asia and they they put on some killer [ __ ]
and they they put on some killer [ __ ] shows and i watched some of their
shows and i watched some of their fighters and some of their fights and
fighters and some of their fights and man these guys are world class killers
man these guys are world class killers they're really good they easily could be
they're really good they easily could be fighting in the ufc many of them and
fighting in the ufc many of them and then many ufc guys like mighty mouse and
then many ufc guys like mighty mouse and um eddie alvarez quite a few guys have
um eddie alvarez quite a few guys have gone over there and they're they're
gone over there and they're they're competing now in one fc
competing now in one fc so that's that's like a viable
so that's that's like a viable alternative for some people don't want
alternative for some people don't want to compete in ufc anymore or maybe they
to compete in ufc anymore or maybe they have a more lucrative deal for one fc
have a more lucrative deal for one fc but it's not in the public zeitgeist the
but it's not in the public zeitgeist the way ufc is like you tell people like oh
way ufc is like you tell people like oh i was watching one fc they're like what
i was watching one fc they're like what the [ __ ] is that yeah they think
the [ __ ] is that yeah they think something's wrong with you right but you
something's wrong with you right but you say ufc it's like q-tips you know it's
say ufc it's like q-tips you know it's like everybody knows what that means
like everybody knows what that means yeah yeah it's nba everybody knows the
yeah yeah it's nba everybody knows the nba everybody knows nfl yeah everybody
nba everybody knows nfl yeah everybody knows the ufc the brand is just yeah i
knows the ufc the brand is just yeah i mean the brand is strong i mean i think
mean the brand is strong i mean i think it the ufc
it the ufc had to the fact that it that it
had to the fact that it that it performed it showed up every few weeks
performed it showed up every few weeks for during the pandemic was unbelievable
for during the pandemic was unbelievable yeah
yeah that brought so many i feel like it had
that brought so many i feel like it had to bring so many fans that's when i
to bring so many fans that's when i became like oh i am
became like oh i am this is my favorite sport i i didn't
this is my favorite sport i i didn't realize it but after like a certain
realize it but after like a certain month i was like oh wow this is my
month i was like oh wow this is my favorite sport well once it started once
favorite sport well once it started once they started doing those events
they started doing those events when everything else was shut down it
when everything else was shut down it opened up a lot of people's eyes so like
opened up a lot of people's eyes so like what could be possible and so then the
what could be possible and so then the nba started doing events and all these
nba started doing events and all these other sports organizations started doing
other sports organizations started doing events with no audience yeah you know
events with no audience yeah you know didn't they have baseball games with no
didn't they have baseball games with no audience yeah i think the dodgers won
audience yeah i think the dodgers won the world series with no audience but
the world series with no audience but remember they had like brody was in the
remember they had like brody was in the stands they had fake uh
stands they had fake uh cutouts of people right
cutouts of people right right right right yeah which is weird
right right right yeah which is weird just have empty seats man don't lie to
just have empty seats man don't lie to me i know you're lying to me
me i know you're lying to me um
um you've worked
you've worked you've worked so long at ufc do you feel
you've worked so long at ufc do you feel like um
like um that and i've watched your pace over
that and i've watched your pace over there i remember when i did a show with
there i remember when i did a show with doing atlanta and then we went to
doing atlanta and then we went to we did a show the night before
we did a show the night before then we i was sitting behind you and so
then we i was sitting behind you and so like you you guys are commentating and
like you you guys are commentating and then you go right up into the ring and
then you go right up into the ring and you come right back down and you
you come right back down and you commentate again i mean it was like
commentate again i mean it was like watching like a
watching like a it just seemed like a lot like this is a
it just seemed like a lot like this is a lot you know like you have to have a
lot you know like you have to have a real pace for it it's a real job yeah
real pace for it it's a real job yeah you have to have energy for sure it blew
you have to have energy for sure it blew my mind yeah it's like and you're doing
my mind yeah it's like and you're doing it for six hours yeah and i sit down for
it for six hours yeah and i sit down for six hours and i try not to pee which is
six hours and i try not to pee which is lucky that i have good experience doing
lucky that i have good experience doing the podcast because i'm used to like
the podcast because i'm used to like holding my piss for three hours but
holding my piss for three hours but that's about my limit so i always have
that's about my limit so i always have to pee at least once or twice ride that
to pee at least once or twice ride that bag baby you know i like riding that bag
bag baby you know i like riding that bag hard though sometimes like also i'm
hard though sometimes like also i'm drinking like monster energy drinks
drinking like monster energy drinks sometimes which are like piss magnets
sometimes which are like piss magnets yeah
yeah yeah yeah they're delicious but they
yeah yeah they're delicious but they make you want to pee make you want to
make you want to pee make you want to beat your wife too dude i've seen a lot
beat your wife too dude i've seen a lot of dudes drinking monster that you know
of dudes drinking monster that you know they're going home to punch
i don't know if the monster is the cause of it i think there's probably other
of it i think there's probably other other factors well i'll say this it's
other factors well i'll say this it's the beverage of choice of some of those
the beverage of choice of some of those gentlemen
gentlemen i'll say that do you think it was rock
i'll say that do you think it was rock stars
stars maybe it used to be
maybe it used to be do you think you'll always work there do
do you think you'll always work there do you ever i mean you've been you've done
you ever i mean you've been you've done it for a long time you know do you think
it for a long time you know do you think i mean i guess nothing can be forever
i mean i guess nothing can be forever but do you
but do you do you think you'll always commentate
do you think you'll always commentate for for ufc i enjoy it
for for ufc i enjoy it i enjoy the sport but i enjoy watching
i enjoy the sport but i enjoy watching too you know when it came to austin it
too you know when it came to austin it was the first time in 20 years that i
was the first time in 20 years that i sat in the audience and i watched it it
sat in the audience and i watched it it was great i enjoyed the [ __ ] out of it
was great i enjoyed the [ __ ] out of it just no
just no responsibility just being able to watch
responsibility just being able to watch i want to go to more of them that i'm
i want to go to more of them that i'm not going to like at the apec center
not going to like at the apec center those are great because in vegas yeah
those are great because in vegas yeah because it's a small arena a small
because it's a small arena a small octagon and you know you're right there
octagon and you know you're right there man right there with the action
man right there with the action when you started do you feel like um did
when you started do you feel like um did you all have such a strong commentating
you all have such a strong commentating team i mean now it's like
team i mean now it's like it's stronger now than ever yeah it's
it's stronger now than ever yeah it's stronger than john anik is the [ __ ]
stronger than john anik is the [ __ ] man
man he's great and daniel cormier is the
he's great and daniel cormier is the [ __ ] man and you know when i get to
[ __ ] man and you know when i get to do it with dominick cruz or you know
do it with dominick cruz or you know anybody else that you know i get paul
anybody else that you know i get paul felder is [ __ ] great it's it's
felder is [ __ ] great it's it's amazing it's a it's a beautiful job and
amazing it's a it's a beautiful job and i love dc like when me and dc hang out
i love dc like when me and dc hang out and have fun
and have fun it's just like he's such a great guy and
it's just like he's such a great guy and he knows so much about the sport you
he knows so much about the sport you know two division world champion and
know two division world champion and great wrestler and and just a dude who
great wrestler and and just a dude who likes to have fun like we laugh a lot
likes to have fun like we laugh a lot and
and it's a great job man i love it i look
it's a great job man i love it i look forward to it every time i look forward
forward to it every time i look forward to it this weekend i'm doing this
to it this weekend i'm doing this weekend in dallas i'm pumped oh nice i
weekend in dallas i'm pumped oh nice i don't know who's fighting on that one
don't know who's fighting on that one it's amanda nunez too yeah versus
it's amanda nunez too yeah versus juliana pena is that the first one
juliana pena is that the first one yes who knows what's happening in that
yes who knows what's happening in that room and halle berry was there at the
room and halle berry was there at the first one oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that
first one oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that was cool barry's a big fan she's there
was cool barry's a big fan she's there all the time yeah that was a cool sport
all the time yeah that was a cool sport yeah jared leto was there he's neat he's
yeah jared leto was there he's neat he's always there too yeah yeah he loves it
always there too yeah yeah he loves it it's always uh i mean it's exciting man
it's always uh i mean it's exciting man you know he's a big fan of it now mark
you know he's a big fan of it now mark zuckerberg he's a big fan of him really
zuckerberg he's a big fan of him really yeah yeah yeah he loves it he got like
yeah yeah yeah he loves it he got like super addicted to it he's training now
super addicted to it he's training now he's doing jiu jitsu oh wow yeah good
he's doing jiu jitsu oh wow yeah good for him they should make him fight other
for him they should make him fight other owners of things who do you think he
owners of things who do you think he would fight bezos
would fight bezos peter's a little older
peter's a little older kind of cruel to make him fight paid he
kind of cruel to make him fight paid he might [ __ ] bazel's up who could he get
might [ __ ] bazel's up who could he get in against
somebody that i put all my money on elon you teach me on martial arts yeah he'd
you teach me on martial arts yeah he'd figure out a way to [ __ ] you up yeah
figure out a way to [ __ ] you up yeah yeah he's a fish and he just had like
yeah he's a fish and he just had like nine kids in a month i heard on twitter
nine kids in a month i heard on twitter how [ __ ] efficient is that
how [ __ ] efficient is that i think he's doing it through in vitro
i think he's doing it through in vitro fertilization i'm sure he jerks off into
fertilization i'm sure he jerks off into a fedex tube and mails it to these
a fedex tube and mails it to these ladies
ladies i thought about that i thought about
i thought about that i thought about having a kid via like a machine or
having a kid via like a machine or something you know you think that's the
something you know you think that's the way to do it i think because i was
way to do it i think because i was thinking about having a child with a
thinking about having a child with a friend of mine
friend of mine a guy or a girl a woman okay
a guy or a girl a woman okay i just want to let you know what you can
i just want to let you know what you can and can't do
and can't do [Laughter]
[Laughter] yeah google what's the percentage of
yeah google what's the percentage of dudes who can get pregnant but you'll
dudes who can get pregnant but you'll get confused now
get confused now like how many men can get pregnant all
like how many men can get pregnant all of them they'll say all of them yeah
of them they'll say all of them yeah today you know no one ever no one knows
today you know no one ever no one knows what to say but i think those men are
what to say but i think those men are trying to get a woman those men are
trying to get a woman those men are trying to trick other men to busting in
trying to trick other men to busting in them all the time i think we're talking
them all the time i think we're talking about trans men
about trans men that's what they're talking about oh i
that's what they're talking about oh i see where they put the ovaries into a
see where they put the ovaries into a man no no no like a biological female
man no no no like a biological female becomes a man
becomes a man trans men oh yeah yeah so when they said
trans men oh yeah yeah so when they said can men get pregnant people say yes
can men get pregnant people say yes and you're like okay i went off i went
and you're like okay i went off i went off this planet
off this planet i can't take your
i can't take your [ __ ] confusing reality but do you
[ __ ] confusing reality but do you think ever that mother nature has a plan
think ever that mother nature has a plan a bigger plan where in the end it all
a bigger plan where in the end it all ends up
ends up that we're like trans like ben simmonses
that we're like trans like ben simmonses like all like crosstalk you know what
like all like crosstalk you know what simmons
simmons ben simmons is like um
ben simmons is like um mick he's a
mick he's a black and i think he's black and white
black and i think he's black and white right he played at lsu he's a great
right he played at lsu he's a great basketball player what does it have to
basketball player what does it have to do with his sexuality but he's bait you
do with his sexuality but he's bait you know what i'm saying he's beige does it
know what i'm saying he's beige does it you know what i'm saying
you know what i'm saying does it end because
does it end because here we go
here we go what the [ __ ] he's probably like what
what the [ __ ] he's probably like what the [ __ ] man i'm a man
the [ __ ] man i'm a man leave me alone [ __ ] but if you put a
leave me alone [ __ ] but if you put a wig on no if you put a wig on and shave
wig on no if you put a wig on and shave i'm just getting those [ __ ] arms and
i'm just getting those [ __ ] arms and hands
hands if you get tricked by that guy
if you get tricked by that guy and you want to yeah you want to get
and you want to yeah you want to get tricked you're trying to get tricked you
tricked you're trying to get tricked you like trick
like trick me trick me ben simmons
me trick me ben simmons that's a [ __ ]
that's a [ __ ] manly man
manly man the size of his [ __ ] hands go back to
the size of his [ __ ] hands go back to that picture
that picture bro that guy is jacked
bro that guy is jacked if you think that's a woman
if you think that's a woman i mean maybe he is now i don't know i
i mean maybe he is now i don't know i don't wanna i don't know
don't wanna i don't know no no he's six eleven
no no he's six eleven [Laughter]
[Laughter] he's giant go tigers man he goes to lsu
he's giant go tigers man he goes to lsu tiger but what i'm saying is what are
tiger but what i'm saying is what are you saying
you saying here's what i'm saying man i can't
here's what i'm saying man i can't believe you guys can't understand it i
believe you guys can't understand it i do understand what you're saying i'm
do understand what you're saying i'm just [ __ ] around okay okay and i'm
just [ __ ] around okay okay and i'm just [ __ ] around too okay
i'm just saying if we're sending somebody in if they say if the trans
somebody in if they say if the trans community going to send somebody in to
community going to send somebody in to [ __ ] vouch for them they need to send
[ __ ] vouch for them they need to send in a [ __ ] warrior you know they can't
in a [ __ ] warrior you know they can't say i don't know what you're saying okay
say i don't know what you're saying okay i thought i knew what you're saying i
i thought i knew what you're saying i switched
switched i switched to a new idea okay what i was
i switched to a new idea okay what i was saying is do you think we all end the
saying is do you think we all end the same skin color and in some sort of a
same skin color and in some sort of a trans
trans sexual type of situation i think it's
sexual type of situation i think it's very possible that we all become
very possible that we all become genderless yes i do think that's
genderless yes i do think that's possible
possible yeah i think that might be what is
yeah i think that might be what is happening with like
happening with like microplastics or changing people's
microplastics or changing people's hormone systems i don't know if you know
hormone systems i don't know if you know about all that do you know about all
about all that do you know about all that you know i don't know about it
that you know i don't know about it i mean i appreciate it there's a book
i mean i appreciate it there's a book called countdown that's nice of you by a
called countdown that's nice of you by a woman her name is dr shanna swann and
woman her name is dr shanna swann and she came on the podcast and she
she came on the podcast and she explained that there's certain chemicals
explained that there's certain chemicals that are in plastics and in some
that are in plastics and in some fertilizers that are disrupting the
fertilizers that are disrupting the human body endocrine system
human body endocrine system and uh it's causing people's penises to
and uh it's causing people's penises to shrink balls to shrink
shrink balls to shrink sperm counts are lowering and one of the
sperm counts are lowering and one of the ways they find out about this is the
ways they find out about this is the size of people's taints
size of people's taints oh wow
oh wow yes in male mammals the taint is 50 to
yes in male mammals the taint is 50 to 100 percent larger than female mammals
100 percent larger than female mammals so like when they pick up a gerbil
so like when they pick up a gerbil that's how they can quickly tell whether
that's how they can quickly tell whether or not it's a boy or girl is by the size
or not it's a boy or girl is by the size of the taint and when the introduction
of the taint and when the introduction of phthalates it starts with a
p-p-t-h-a-l-a-t-e-s i think it's how you spell it
spell it you say phthalates and phthalates are
you say phthalates and phthalates are a type of chemical that disrupts the
a type of chemical that disrupts the human body and because of the uh use of
human body and because of the uh use of petrochemical products
petrochemical products the increase of phthalates into the
the increase of phthalates into the human body from contamination has caused
human body from contamination has caused people's taints to shrink balls to
people's taints to shrink balls to shrink dicks to shrink sperm counts to
shrink dicks to shrink sperm counts to drop and miscarriages to go up
drop and miscarriages to go up and they think that
and they think that if you think about that like that is
if you think about that like that is like causing gender to just kind of
like causing gender to just kind of compress and to become like more
compress and to become like more ambiguous and in the future if that
ambiguous and in the future if that continues to happen
continues to happen what what does that mean like what do we
what what does that mean like what do we become genderless
become genderless and then what do we do to try to keep
and then what do we do to try to keep the human race alive well we may
the human race alive well we may we may revert to genetic engineering
we may revert to genetic engineering like some sort of a genetic like some
like some sort of a genetic like some sort of a
sort of a you know medical technological
you know medical technological intervention so we breed from like
intervention so we breed from like splicing genes so we get enough males
splicing genes so we get enough males and we get enough females yeah and that
and we get enough females yeah and that has always been what's crazy about this
has always been what's crazy about this is although this sounds nuts we're
is although this sounds nuts we're talking about it now
talking about it now for decades people that have been
for decades people that have been abducted by aliens have always said that
abducted by aliens have always said that aliens are performing experiments and
aliens are performing experiments and making hybrids with human beings because
making hybrids with human beings because their genetic material has run stale
their genetic material has run stale because they're they're they're breeding
because they're they're they're breeding or they're rather reproducing through
or they're rather reproducing through genetic manipulation rather than through
genetic manipulation rather than through sex because they don't have sexual
sex because they don't have sexual intercourse anymore so they need our
intercourse anymore so they need our eggs and sperm they need all that stuff
eggs and sperm they need all that stuff they need our material
they need our material but
but because they don't have that anymore so
because they don't have that anymore so that might be where all
that might be where all biological creatures that develop
biological creatures that develop technology and technology
technology and technology in our case involves a lot of plastic
in our case involves a lot of plastic the more technology the more plastic the
the more technology the more plastic the more plastic in the bodies the more the
more plastic in the bodies the more the bodies become genderless
bodies become genderless wow
wow wild and is it in it is if the since
wild and is it in it is if the since there's plastic in our water like little
there's plastic in our water like little molecules and stuff does that affect us
molecules and stuff does that affect us too do you think yes it definitely does
too do you think yes it definitely does yeah we uh we found a statistic that's a
yeah we uh we found a statistic that's a little misleading but the statistic is
little misleading but the statistic is every week the average person consumes a
every week the average person consumes a credit card sized piece of plastic
credit card sized piece of plastic through
through jesus yeah that's a lot but then jamie
jesus yeah that's a lot but then jamie found out that the way they calculate
found out that the way they calculate that is like worst case scenario like
that is like worst case scenario like some dude who really likes you know who
some dude who really likes you know who sucks on the bottle a lot of like bottle
sucks on the bottle a lot of like bottle licking yeah yeah yeah
licking yeah yeah yeah a lot of like chewing on vibrators or
a lot of like chewing on vibrators or chewing on yeah chew it like that dog we
chewing on yeah chew it like that dog we saw the other day
saw the other day [Laughter]
[Laughter] um
um so
so let me think i had a couple more
let me think i had a couple more questions for you is that all right yes
questions for you is that all right yes please okay cool um being becoming like
please okay cool um being becoming like a celebrity in america right like i know
a celebrity in america right like i know you don't think yourself maybe is that
you don't think yourself maybe is that way right but uh you become real popular
way right but uh you become real popular is it hard to keep it from like
is it hard to keep it from like affecting your family and kids and stuff
affecting your family and kids and stuff does that ever get like scary and stuff
does that ever get like scary and stuff it definitely will affect everyone
it definitely will affect everyone around you you know and it affects
around you you know and it affects people in a weird way where like people
people in a weird way where like people like contact family members and ask for
like contact family members and ask for things
things you know which is like weird and it's
you know which is like weird and it's not you know like want to meet like i've
not you know like want to meet like i've had people
had people contact my family members to ask me to
contact my family members to ask me to introduce them to people i don't even
introduce them to people i don't even know right yeah
know right yeah like as if there's some like sort of
like as if there's some like sort of celebrity network do you become a part
celebrity network do you become a part of you get a card like hey man you got
of you get a card like hey man you got 15 million instagram followers here's
15 million instagram followers here's your card just call everybody on the
your card just call everybody on the list and yeah
list and yeah you know you could hook up your friend
you know you could hook up your friend with marky mark yeah it's weird
with marky mark yeah it's weird and is this does it get scary having
and is this does it get scary having kids that are like you know does that
kids that are like you know does that gizet get scary at all like it's
gizet get scary at all like it's all of it is scary yeah
all of it is scary yeah it's it's scary it's weird you know like
it's it's scary it's weird you know like having that many people like i get a lot
having that many people like i get a lot of people contacting me saying they got
of people contacting me saying they got chips in their brain and i'm talking to
chips in their brain and i'm talking to them through a chip in their brain not
them through a chip in their brain not just one like multiple people i said a
just one like multiple people i said a woman like that who's coming to my shows
woman like that who's coming to my shows in texas dude and her chip kept telling
in texas dude and her chip kept telling her to [ __ ] me dude that's the crazy
her to [ __ ] me dude that's the crazy part did she listen i would no i sent
part did she listen i would no i sent her away like so many times said was she
her away like so many times said was she hot she was hot too damn and why'd you
hot she was hot too damn and why'd you say no cause i just thought it was like
say no cause i just thought it was like a scam or something
a scam or something [Laughter]
[Laughter] i thought it was like some kind of a
i thought it was like some kind of a setup or something you know like i just
setup or something you know like i just got scared cause that's scary when
got scared cause that's scary when somebody tells you that you got to think
somebody tells you that you got to think of that too imagine if you're a guy and
of that too imagine if you're a guy and you're worried that every girl you meet
you're worried that every girl you meet is trying to set you up
is trying to set you up you know like if you're some oligarch
you know like if you're some oligarch type dude and every woman you meet might
type dude and every woman you meet might be a hit woman
be a hit woman or might be someone who's like trying to
or might be someone who's like trying to get information out with some russian
get information out with some russian spy yeah who's trying to record you
spy yeah who's trying to record you [ __ ]
[ __ ] oh even if i ejaculate dude not you know
oh even if i ejaculate dude not you know i don't have a you know i'm doing okay
i don't have a you know i'm doing okay but i'll even walk out of the room
but i'll even walk out of the room backwards you know just to make sure you
backwards you know just to make sure you know like
know like how does that help just a great so i can
how does that help just a great so i can see if anybody's using any of the seed
see if anybody's using any of the seed if there's any loose
if there's any loose doesn't drake pour hot sauce into his
doesn't drake pour hot sauce into his condoms
condoms is that real
is that real yeah it's a story that went around a few
yeah it's a story that went around a few months ago for sure so he's got like a
months ago for sure so he's got like a little bottle of tabasco by the bed
little bottle of tabasco by the bed just in case look dustin poury needs to
just in case look dustin poury needs to step his advertising up that's all i'm
step his advertising up that's all i'm saying is excellent dustin has excellent
saying is excellent dustin has excellent hot sauce it's very good it is good it's
hot sauce it's very good it is good it's very delicious like a vinegar-based
very delicious like a vinegar-based louisiana hot sauce kinda hides hot
louisiana hot sauce kinda hides hot enough but it's nothing crazy tasty
enough but it's nothing crazy tasty tasty it's very good what is it called
tasty it's very good what is it called like diamond
like diamond yeah
yeah um i need to know this man we'll find it
um i need to know this man we'll find it jamie will pull it up but it's i get he
jamie will pull it up but it's i get he sent me a case of it it is [ __ ] very
sent me a case of it it is [ __ ] very good it's good yeah i'm going to turn
good it's good yeah i'm going to turn the salad i'm not even going to ask him
the salad i'm not even going to ask him for more i'm going to buy it myself
for more i'm going to buy it myself pourier's louisiana style hot sauce
pourier's louisiana style hot sauce you buy it on amazon and look at him
you buy it on amazon and look at him dude having fun
dude having fun yeah there it is he's so funny it's good
yeah there it is he's so funny it's good too oh yeah when someone makes something
too oh yeah when someone makes something like that that's good i appreciate that
like that that's good i appreciate that that is that's a legit hot sauce dustin
that is that's a legit hot sauce dustin has some really good hot sauce yeah he's
has some really good hot sauce yeah he's a good dude too i like him a lot yeah
a good dude too i like him a lot yeah dustin's neat man he's really really
dustin's neat man he's really really funny too he's fun dude it's fun dude to
funny too he's fun dude it's fun dude to hang out with and he likes to cook too
hang out with and he likes to cook too um do you think that nate diaz fight is
um do you think that nate diaz fight is just like uh do you think he's gonna
just like uh do you think he's gonna care about it is that impossible for him
care about it is that impossible for him not to care about it versus hum
not to care about it versus hum zach
zach yeah i mean he has to care about it
yeah i mean he has to care about it hamzad is a [ __ ] assassin hamzad is a
hamzad is a [ __ ] assassin hamzad is a terrifying human being he's terrifying
terrifying human being he's terrifying he's really good oh really good and
he's really good oh really good and really big
really big i get scared at home you should be yeah
i get scared at home you should be yeah i mean that's how it is yeah hamza is a
i mean that's how it is yeah hamza is a murderer i mean when he when he gets
murderer i mean when he when he gets into that octagon he's seek and destroy
into that octagon he's seek and destroy he's a dangerous man
he's a dangerous man do you think that it's just a setup
do you think that it's just a setup fight for not like it's like because i
fight for not like it's like because i know he's trying to get out of his
know he's trying to get out of his contract do you think that or do you
contract do you think that or do you think he'd ask for that fight oh he did
think he'd ask for that fight oh he did that's what nate wanted to fight francis
that's what nate wanted to fight francis and ganu oh damn
and ganu oh damn nate is as game as a human being has
nate is as game as a human being has ever been
ever been that dude is wild i mean that's one of
that dude is wild i mean that's one of the things that dana white said they
the things that dana white said they were like saying why did you do this
were like saying why did you do this fight it's like that's the fight nate
fight it's like that's the fight nate wanted he goes by the way nate asked for
wanted he goes by the way nate asked for francis and ghana damn
francis and ghana damn that'd been awesome well no yeah you're
that'd been awesome well no yeah you're right no i mean but you know what there
right no i mean but you know what there would have been something exciting about
would have been something exciting about it yeah murder
it yeah murder yeah
yeah something exciting when francis and gano
something exciting when francis and gano a natural 270-pound man who hits harder
a natural 270-pound man who hits harder than any human being that's ever been
than any human being that's ever been recorded is the hardest punch ever
recorded is the hardest punch ever recorded
recorded well francis is terrifying i think they
well francis is terrifying i think they could take him dude you think so i don't
could take him dude you think so i don't know i don't i mean i have no i don't i
know i don't i mean i have no i don't i don't know nate just never ends bro he
don't know nate just never ends bro he can't you're never a bookmaker yeah
can't you're never a bookmaker yeah that's true
i hope so there's certain things that you just ca there's certain
you just ca there's certain physical attributes and advantages you
physical attributes and advantages you cannot overcome it's not saying that
cannot overcome it's not saying that nate isn't a an amazing fighter nate is
nate isn't a an amazing fighter nate is an amazing fighter and has been for a
an amazing fighter and has been for a long time i mean you can go way back
long time i mean you can go way back nate has been submitting and beating
nate has been submitting and beating people for a long [ __ ] time he's a
people for a long [ __ ] time he's a tough [ __ ] yeah but francis is
tough [ __ ] yeah but francis is gigantic he's gigantic
gigantic he's gigantic francis is gigantic
francis is gigantic why do you think gigantic people come
why do you think gigantic people come out of africa and stuff
out of africa and stuff well i mean gigantic people come out of
well i mean gigantic people come out of iceland
iceland gigantic people come out of areas where
gigantic people come out of areas where genetic gigantic people met and bred
genetic gigantic people met and bred you know and francis's father was huge
you know and francis's father was huge and i don't know how big his mother was
and i don't know how big his mother was but you know there's a
but you know there's a i mean there's a lot of giant people in
i mean there's a lot of giant people in the world when they find other giant
the world when they find other giant people and they [ __ ] they make big
people and they [ __ ] they make big humans
humans dude they should
dude they should that'd be an only fans right there giant
that'd be an only fans right there giant people [ __ ] yeah big giant people
people [ __ ] yeah big giant people [ __ ] yeah i bet if you yeah i bet
[ __ ] yeah i bet if you yeah i bet people would love that if those are the
people would love that if those are the only fans where you only got together
only fans where you only got together with other giant people and [ __ ] i'd
with other giant people and [ __ ] i'd watch that and then have a little person
watch that and then have a little person in the room watching
[Laughter] do you go on only fans at all no i
do you go on only fans at all no i logged on one night and then i logged
logged on one night and then i logged off you know i'm trying to stay off a
off you know i'm trying to stay off a masturbation stay off touching my own
masturbation stay off touching my own wiener really yeah i don't i don't need
wiener really yeah i don't i don't need to do it i'm doing cool
to do it i'm doing cool you know i feel better when i don't do
you know i feel better when i don't do it
it is it masturbation or pornography
is it masturbation or pornography well i do yeah pornography i think is
well i do yeah pornography i think is nice to stay away from we talked about
nice to stay away from we talked about this before because
this before because my thought was just that it
my thought was just that it and you said it's fun it's just people
and you said it's fun it's just people that abuse it you know so i think like
that abuse it you know so i think like i
i i just
i just i don't like to have those thoughts in
i don't like to have those thoughts in my head it keeps it keeps me thinking
my head it keeps it keeps me thinking too much sexual side and not enough like
too much sexual side and not enough like connection side right right that's the
connection side right right that's the number one criticism of people who watch
number one criticism of people who watch pornography is that it
pornography is that it yeah it makes you think sexually instead
yeah it makes you think sexually instead of like romantic yeah and if i want to
of like romantic yeah and if i want to have a family and stuff i have to have
have a family and stuff i have to have more like you know real intrinsic kind
more like you know real intrinsic kind of romantic connection thoughts
of romantic connection thoughts and
and and i have to be able to control my not
and i have to be able to control my not control my own brain but let my nature
control my own brain but let my nature come through that way not think like i
come through that way not think like i want to recreate some [ __ ] i saw on a
want to recreate some [ __ ] i saw on a film right right or yeah you know i
film right right or yeah you know i don't even do i don't even think that
don't even do i don't even think that way but like your subconscious just hold
way but like your subconscious just hold it remembers the stuff you know and it
it remembers the stuff you know and it kind of mills around and there just kind
kind of mills around and there just kind of loiters around your brain and dick a
of loiters around your brain and dick a little how many girls
little how many girls have
have started to make a living off of only
started to make a living off of only fans now that would just normally have a
fans now that would just normally have a job and never get paid the same amount
job and never get paid the same amount of money
of money well it's one of the reasons why we're
well it's one of the reasons why we're not seeing that many hot chicks working
not seeing that many hot chicks working at chipotle i think is that what it is
at chipotle i think is that what it is uh how do you go only fans i think it's
uh how do you go only fans i think it's gonna it's definitely but how do they
gonna it's definitely but how do they get an audience
get an audience like just because you're hot and you
like just because you're hot and you show your [ __ ] they bait through
show your [ __ ] they bait through their instagram yeah
dude you know no two [ __ ] are the same is that true i'm sure it's like a
same is that true i'm sure it's like a fingerprint that's crazy we're gonna use
fingerprint that's crazy we're gonna use that from now on to get into the bank
it's like you're retina scam that's how do you get in a damn bullserian's house
do you get in a damn bullserian's house [Laughter]
[Laughter] i mean if you really think about how
i mean if you really think about how many
many girls are making like stupendous amounts
girls are making like stupendous amounts of money on only fans oh it's baffling
of money on only fans oh it's baffling but do you do you also think joe that
but do you do you also think joe that whoa only fans is over one million
whoa only fans is over one million creators so one well let's imagine
creators so one well let's imagine that's an that's worldwide
that's an that's worldwide up from 70 000 in 2019 so all those
up from 70 000 in 2019 so all those people jumped on board during the
people jumped on board during the pandemic
pandemic that makes sense this is what i start to
that makes sense this is what i start to worry about
worry about that it's going to be
that it's going to be like every what is this called a gig
like every what is this called a gig economy no what is this okay no gig
economy no what is this okay no gig economy is like uber right okay is it is
economy is like uber right okay is it is would you think of only fans does that
would you think of only fans does that count yeah i mean
count yeah i mean you could get a gig they could make a
you could get a gig they could make a video for a specific person
video for a specific person same kind of thing oh okay do you think
same kind of thing oh okay do you think it's a cameo
it's a cameo yeah it's very i watched some cameos the
yeah it's very i watched some cameos the other day it was sad
other day it was sad i got one from uh
i got one from uh nick nolte about
nick nolte about some dogs at christmas i made him make
some dogs at christmas i made him make like a video for some puffies that i had
like a video for some puffies that i had everything nulty does cameos that i
everything nulty does cameos that i didn't have yeah why he's like oh hey
didn't have yeah why he's like oh hey cinnamon and whisker
cinnamon and whisker dad loves you yeah i gotta find it nick
dad loves you yeah i gotta find it nick nolte's on cameo
nolte's on cameo how is it
how is it is that weird oh no gary
is that weird oh no gary who's the other guy that looks like nick
who's the other guy that looks like nick nolte gary busey gary bc okay that makes
nolte gary busey gary bc okay that makes sense yeah they look very different he's
sense yeah they look very different he's like hey cinnamon and whisker dad's home
like hey cinnamon and whisker dad's home gary busey was a great actor who got in
gary busey was a great actor who got in a horrible motorcycle accident without a
a horrible motorcycle accident without a helmet yeah okay play some of these
helmet yeah okay play some of these give me one right there
got my guitar got my voice got my thoughts got my love to send to you and
thoughts got my love to send to you and a cameo however many you want just send
a cameo however many you want just send me what you want me to tell you and i'll
me what you want me to tell you and i'll tell you better than you can
there you go cameos i love that
i love that it doesn't make you feel good though did
it doesn't make you feel good though did you feel good when he did it
you feel good when he did it no
no no made me think you should wear a
no made me think you should wear a helmet
helmet oh you think people are taking advantage
oh you think people are taking advantage of him no that's what happened to him he
of him no that's what happened to him he got in a motorcycle accident without a
got in a motorcycle accident without a helmet on back when la didn't have a
helmet on back when la didn't have a helmet law
helmet law and he crashed his motorcycle and
and he crashed his motorcycle and bounced his [ __ ] head off a curb
bounced his [ __ ] head off a curb yeah and got serious brain damage like
yeah and got serious brain damage like pulled that up i want to say that was
pulled that up i want to say that was from like the early 2000s he had a
from like the early 2000s he had a serious that's why one of his eyes looks
serious that's why one of his eyes looks different than the other one yeah dude
different than the other one yeah dude we made it his [ __ ] skull got crushed
we made it his [ __ ] skull got crushed yeah in 1988 the actor then 44 had just
yeah in 1988 the actor then 44 had just picked up his harley davidson from a
picked up his harley davidson from a shop when he tried to maneuver around a
shop when he tried to maneuver around a bus and accidentally turned too hard
bus and accidentally turned too hard started skidding and hit his back brake
started skidding and hit his back brake causing him to fly over his windshield
causing him to fly over his windshield and land directly on his helmetless head
and land directly on his helmetless head oh
oh yeah
yeah so
so that is when things went sour and his
that is when things went sour and his hair still looks good which is crazy
hair still looks good which is crazy he's got a great hair to hide that scar
he's got a great hair to hide that scar where they had to stitch his head back
where they had to stitch his head back together again i think that's
together again i think that's unbelievable not good
unbelievable not good well this is my question then do you
well this is my question then do you think it's going to get to a point right
think it's going to get to a point right where
where if we start losing jobs right and
if we start losing jobs right and there's less jobs and more people are on
there's less jobs and more people are on like only fans right
like only fans right that you're basically going to have
that you're basically going to have chicks out there like literally people
chicks out there like literally people women holding each other at gunpoint
women holding each other at gunpoint like you know subscribe to my [ __ ]
like you know subscribe to my [ __ ] stuff like that
stuff like that like you know what i'm saying like i
like you know what i'm saying like i don't know what you're saying you know
don't know what you're saying you know help
help jamie can you pull up some help
jamie can you pull up some help pull up some help i need some help man
pull up some help i need some help man like i always have this vision of like
like i always have this vision of like two uber drivers like you're you're
two uber drivers like you're you're gonna be my uh
gonna be my uh um
um i'm your you're my rider you know what
i'm your you're my rider you know what i'm saying you're my like
i'm saying you're my like like it's like people like
like it's like people like it's all just digital it's all online
it's all just digital it's all online and it's just like people just like
and it's just like people just like subscribe to me now you know like
subscribe to me now you know like literally at gunpoint like that's how
literally at gunpoint like that's how bad it's gonna get i don't think that's
bad it's gonna get i don't think that's gonna happen but i think there's gonna
gonna happen but i think there's gonna be a lot of people that are doing that
be a lot of people that are doing that to make a living the problem is where's
to make a living the problem is where's the money coming from is it gonna be
the money coming from is it gonna be subscribers paying other subscribers
subscribers paying other subscribers is it gonna be like a hierarchy like
is it gonna be like a hierarchy like someone who makes like a million dollars
someone who makes like a million dollars a month paying someone who makes a
a month paying someone who makes a hundred thousand dollars a month who
hundred thousand dollars a month who pays someone who makes ten thousand
pays someone who makes ten thousand dollars a month is it is it going to be
dollars a month is it is it going to be a pyramid scheme for [ __ ] yeah
a pyramid scheme for [ __ ] yeah uh yeah i don't want to get by a fake
uh yeah i don't want to get by a fake [ __ ] somewhere and put it out there i
[ __ ] somewhere and put it out there i don't think that's good enough i think
don't think that's good enough i think you have to have the whole body attached
you have to have the whole body attached to it like what do most girls on only
to it like what do most girls on only fans do do they show like bikini
fans do do they show like bikini pictures like what are they doing
pictures like what are they doing showing feet
showing feet there's bikini pitchers i know that
there's bikini pitchers i know that there's like meetups where like manager
there's like meetups where like manager companies like have them all go to like
companies like have them all go to like a location together like at the beach
a location together like at the beach and then they do like
and then they do like you know tit touching and like uh
you know tit touching and like uh you know uh they get together smelling
you know uh they get together smelling each other's cry you know like stuff oh
each other's cry you know like stuff oh and so that gets everybody excited and
and so that gets everybody excited and then they get more like so they have
then they get more like so they have stuff animals do like stuff animals do
stuff animals do like stuff animals do before their owner pulls them away real
before their owner pulls them away real quick i heard that a lot of these girls
quick i heard that a lot of these girls with their when they're interacting with
with their when they're interacting with people online they're not really doing
people online they're not really doing it that they hire a company and then
it that they hire a company and then someone writes these letters because
someone writes these letters because like if you feel like you're going to
like if you feel like you're going to respond to people and text them like how
respond to people and text them like how many of them are you going to do this to
many of them are you going to do this to like how many can you how many days i
like how many can you how many days i mean how much hours in the day do you
mean how much hours in the day do you have and if people don't know how many
have and if people don't know how many you're responding to or who's doing it
you're responding to or who's doing it like if you have like say if you have a
like if you have like say if you have a million subscribers on only fans and you
million subscribers on only fans and you get a hundred thousand messages a month
get a hundred thousand messages a month yeah you got to have somebody helping
yeah you got to have somebody helping you maybe they just have a person like a
you maybe they just have a person like a service who writes like sexy things like
service who writes like sexy things like thank you sweetie heart heart yeah kiss
thank you sweetie heart heart yeah kiss blowing kiss you know yeah like yeah
blowing kiss you know yeah like yeah you're so sweet thank you and there's a
you're so sweet thank you and there's a fat guy writing those things
fat guy writing those things you know do you remember marilyn
you know do you remember marilyn martinez did you know marilyn martinez
martinez did you know marilyn martinez uh-uh
uh-uh marilyn martinez was a comic at the
marilyn martinez was a comic at the comedy store
comedy store and uh very funny and she used to do uh
and uh very funny and she used to do uh phone sex
phone sex back in the day that's how she made a
back in the day that's how she made a living when she was uh starting out as a
living when she was uh starting out as a comic
comic she would uh get on the phone with guys
she would uh get on the phone with guys while they were jerking off and she'd
while they were jerking off and she'd talk them through it that's wild yeah
talk them through it that's wild yeah yeah i think i just wonder if it's gonna
yeah i think i just wonder if it's gonna come to that were you gonna have you
come to that were you gonna have you know people just helping each other jerk
know people just helping each other jerk off and that's going to be
off and that's going to be you know i think it's going to come to
you know i think it's going to come to the point where you can't jerk off
the point where you can't jerk off anymore because you're not going to have
anymore because you're not going to have any generals
i think we're all going to slip away to neutral
neutral like i was saying aliens yeah aliens
like i was saying aliens yeah aliens we look at what aliens look like what do
we look at what aliens look like what do they look like they look like sexless
they look like they look like sexless genderless things with big giant heads
genderless things with big giant heads autism too you think so aliens yeah i
autism too you think so aliens yeah i think they have the highest most acute
think they have the highest most acute form of
form of [ __ ] alzheimer's
[ __ ] alzheimer's autism
they might have alzheimer's too dude they could have it all i mean at that
they could have it all i mean at that point they've mastered the diseases i
point they've mastered the diseases i was trying to say asperger's i came up
was trying to say asperger's i came up with alzheimer's well asperger's should
with alzheimer's well asperger's should have a different name too it's just
have a different name too it's just ass burgers that's rude that's a lot
ass burgers that's rude that's a lot right i wonder if it's like a doctor was
right i wonder if it's like a doctor was it dr asperger who figured out
it dr asperger who figured out asperger's
asperger's i don't know take a guess let's find out
i don't know take a guess let's find out and take a guess ron asperger yeah yeah
and take a guess ron asperger yeah yeah probably like a guy out of seattle
probably like a guy out of seattle i was thinking that when that fournier's
i was thinking that when that fournier's green green we looked up to their dad so
green green we looked up to their dad so i'm fortunate for mr fournier
i'm fortunate for mr fournier [Music]
[Music] exactly
exactly yeah
yeah so let's find out where the name hans
so let's find out where the name hans asperger hit that thing
asperger hit that thing yeah it's a dude han's ass burger
yeah it's a dude han's ass burger there it is
there it is oh it's burger
oh it's burger asperger
asperger asperger i've been putting meat in it
asperger i've been putting meat in it [Laughter]
[Laughter] i'd love to be austrian huh
i'd love to be austrian huh austrian yeah
austrian yeah yeah they just seem so pure and they
yeah they just seem so pure and they seem like outdoors yeah they seem like
seem like outdoors yeah they seem like hike a lot they're getting water for
hike a lot they're getting water for everybody yeah shorts with little socks
everybody yeah shorts with little socks the mills with the windmills hunting
the mills with the windmills hunting boots beautiful flowers
boots beautiful flowers yeah and probably crazy sex too i think
yeah and probably crazy sex too i think so i think austrian women really yeah
so i think austrian women really yeah and you don't see them a lot in porn or
and you don't see them a lot in porn or anything i think they keep it really
anything i think they keep it really they're kind of like uh
they're kind of like uh they're kind of like they feel almost to
they're kind of like they feel almost to me like disney amish kind of disney
me like disney amish kind of disney amish yeah like kind of whimsical but
amish yeah like kind of whimsical but like also very like um
like also very like um stick to an old script pull up some uh
stick to an old script pull up some uh whoa yeah
whoa yeah dang it pretty dead on with that uh
dang it pretty dead on with that uh disney princess yeah yeah very disney
disney princess yeah yeah very disney princess looking all of them damn dang i
princess looking all of them damn dang i wonder like what nationality is known to
wonder like what nationality is known to have the most beautiful women do you
have the most beautiful women do you think there's like a
think there's like a consensus nationality that is the most
consensus nationality that is the most beautiful woman
beautiful woman i don't know but i know that i've
i don't know but i know that i've thought poorly that i just spent so much
thought poorly that i just spent so much jerking off in america when you could
jerking off in america when you could have done it
have done it internationally yeah like it's a small
internationally yeah like it's a small world like the ride
dude why do you and i have the [ __ ] silliest podcast
silliest podcast oh my god i just had a great podcast
oh my god i just had a great podcast with uh rich from rich rebuilds we were
with uh rich from rich rebuilds we were talking about cars and
talking about cars and and then you come in here
and then you come in here you started with him i saw you talking
you started with him i saw you talking about a horse horse set i'll tell you
about a horse horse set i'll tell you his reaction is very different than
his reaction is very different than yours
yours oh yeah that's cool man i would like to
oh yeah that's cool man i would like to get some different i got i'd like to get
get some different i got i'd like to get some different hobbies and stuff like
some different hobbies and stuff like that like what um
that like what um i don't know i thought about sometimes i
i don't know i thought about sometimes i thought about maybe getting into golf
thought about maybe getting into golf like that's one thing like in nashville
like that's one thing like in nashville it's like most people just drink there's
it's like most people just drink there's just a lot of drinking and golf talk to
just a lot of drinking and golf talk to this dude he's a golfing fool
this dude he's a golfing fool him and tony hinchcliffe and ron white
him and tony hinchcliffe and ron white oh tony's built for it
oh tony's built for it built for golf i think so he's just that
built for golf i think so he's just that perfect he's very he looks almost like
perfect he's very he looks almost like uh
uh like pinocchio's old you know crazy
like pinocchio's old you know crazy brother
brother [Music]
[Music] you don't talk about pull him up
you don't talk about pull him up pull up tony hence club's body pull up
pull up tony hence club's body pull up tony it's probably already a comparison
tony it's probably already a comparison tony has lived side by side next to
tony has lived side by side next to pinocchio online
pinocchio online dude that was so much fun man it's
dude that was so much fun man it's interesting it you guys definitely made
interesting it you guys definitely made a good case uh for austin yeah we're
a good case uh for austin yeah we're having fun out here man yeah you get to
having fun out here man yeah you get to see it right yeah and how wild these
see it right yeah and how wild these shows tonight's gonna be wild too sir
shows tonight's gonna be wild too sir really good
really good that's gonna be fun yeah a lot of good
that's gonna be fun yeah a lot of good comics out there a lot of good comics on
comics out there a lot of good comics on stage yeah it just felt yeah it's like
stage yeah it just felt yeah it's like you said having a sense of community is
you said having a sense of community is really important
really important look at this little notebook
look at this little notebook but look right there with the mic at the
but look right there with the mic at the ice house that is a no it's almost like
ice house that is a no it's almost like his hand looks like it was pulled up by
his hand looks like it was pulled up by a piece of cord yeah
a piece of cord yeah to the right one more please jimmy
to the right one more please jimmy right there yeah
right there yeah yeah looks like his arm is hanging from
yeah looks like his arm is hanging from the street
perhaps [ __ ] geppetto yeah he's an [ __ ] yeah
yeah he's an [ __ ] yeah um i'm trying to think if there's
um i'm trying to think if there's anything else that i wanted to ask you
anything else that i wanted to ask you joe i think we covered a decent amount
joe i think we covered a decent amount of stuff
of stuff you know
you know we definitely did
we definitely did um you gonna move here
thinking about it i thought about it i thought about it more today and i
thought about it more today and i thought about it yesterday yeah
thought about it yesterday yeah what percentage you think you're
what percentage you think you're thinking about it
thinking about it i thought 30 which was surprising i
i thought 30 which was surprising i didn't think i would think about it that
didn't think i would think about it that much 30 percent
much 30 percent i'll say this a zillowed
i'll say this a zillowed new zealand really
new zealand really last night where are you looking that's
last night where are you looking that's pretty pricey i found that
pretty pricey i found that yeah man got rough here
yeah man got rough here yeah during the pandemic
yeah during the pandemic prices went way up yeah you got to have
prices went way up yeah you got to have really yeah it's yeah it's pretty pricey
really yeah it's yeah it's pretty pricey but that's okay
but that's okay gotta have them shackle son i know i got
gotta have them shackle son i know i got to shackle up
to shackle up i got to up my shackles man you make a
i got to up my shackles man you make a good living yeah no i do it's been did
good living yeah no i do it's been did you buy in nashville yeah you could sell
you buy in nashville yeah you could sell there for sure yeah it's already went up
there for sure yeah it's already went up great yeah it's a great market nashville
great yeah it's a great market nashville is another place like austin where a lot
is another place like austin where a lot of people move to but it's like a
of people move to but it's like a smaller
smaller city right yeah i would say it's
city right yeah i would say it's probably half the size
probably half the size i mean i noticed that this feels more
i mean i noticed that this feels more like a city
like a city nashville it's it's still a city but
nashville it's it's still a city but it's diff it's a different i [ __ ]
it's diff it's a different i [ __ ] love nashville yeah i love going there i
love nashville yeah i love going there i love doing stand up there fun people man
love doing stand up there fun people man yeah that's a fun town and it's also
yeah that's a fun town and it's also like austin a town that like appreciates
like austin a town that like appreciates art
art appreciates live performance
appreciates live performance oh yeah people come out all the time
oh yeah people come out all the time yeah this has a smaller comedy scene
yeah this has a smaller comedy scene yeah that's the tough part and that's
yeah that's the tough part and that's what i realized it was like if i could
what i realized it was like if i could get up a little more you know instead of
get up a little more you know instead of having to go to la to do like a month or
having to go to la to do like a month or six weeks at a time you know and really
six weeks at a time you know and really build there so i think about it here you
build there so i think about it here you can go ham i mean we got cap city just
can go ham i mean we got cap city just opened up we have the vulcan we have
opened up we have the vulcan we have creek in the cave we got my club that's
creek in the cave we got my club that's kind of open then we have there's a
kind of open then we have there's a bunch of satellite rooms a bunch of
bunch of satellite rooms a bunch of smaller rooms that are outside the area
smaller rooms that are outside the area a lot of open mics and different places
a lot of open mics and different places where people perform i mean and since
where people perform i mean and since the pandemic started it's exploded and
the pandemic started it's exploded and definitely since kill tony moved here
definitely since kill tony moved here and we all moved here and segura moved
and we all moved here and segura moved here and tim dillon and all these other
here and tim dillon and all these other folks duncan moved here
folks duncan moved here i love duncan yeah he's the best he's so
i love duncan yeah he's the best he's so neat
neat he's the best he's really special yeah
he's the best he's really special yeah um did um
um did um oh there's one thing i was gonna ask you
oh there's one thing i was gonna ask you about that
about that about um
about um what were you talking about
what were you talking about comedy comedy moving moving
comedy comedy moving moving zillow
zillow hello shekels yeah
hello shekels yeah vape pens
vape pens um
um nope should we end it
nope should we end it i think so i think i have one more
i think so i think i have one more question i'm trying to think what it is
question i'm trying to think what it is can i just have about eight seconds
can i just have about eight seconds about the rooms the number of rooms in
about the rooms the number of rooms in the round uh no that's good i feel like
the round uh no that's good i feel like i've cause i feel you know this is good
i've cause i feel you know this is good this is like a good consideration
this is like a good consideration of if um
of if um if i'll come here we could always get an
if i'll come here we could always get an apartment oh i was going to try for one
apartment oh i was going to try for one yeah that's what i was thinking i'll do
yeah that's what i was thinking i'll do one month at an airbnb that's a movie
one month at an airbnb that's a movie you know that's a great move yeah yeah
you know that's a great move yeah yeah um oh this is my question okay so
um oh this is my question okay so sometimes i you know i've had times in
sometimes i you know i've had times in my life where i've thought too much
my life where i've thought too much about regrets and stuff in my life right
about regrets and stuff in my life right yeah we've talked about that some in the
yeah we've talked about that some in the past like looking in the past too much
past like looking in the past too much right or attaching myself to the past
right or attaching myself to the past was there is there has there been
was there is there has there been anything along your journey that you've
anything along your journey that you've kind of regretted
kind of regretted and then how do you deal with regret
and then how do you deal with regret i mean individual choices and mistakes
i mean individual choices and mistakes yeah but ultimately you learn from those
yeah but ultimately you learn from those so like no because like even the regrets
so like no because like even the regrets the bad things or the stupid things you
the bad things or the stupid things you learn not to do bad things or stupid
learn not to do bad things or stupid things you know those all those things
things you know those all those things are beneficial in some way if you can
are beneficial in some way if you can get through them
get through them you know
you know you know if you like
you know if you like did something that required that
did something that required that resulted in someone's death or some
resulted in someone's death or some something horrible like that yeah it'd
something horrible like that yeah it'd be terrible regret
be terrible regret but i've been very fortunate that that
but i've been very fortunate that that hasn't happened but the dumb [ __ ] that
hasn't happened but the dumb [ __ ] that i've done or the bad mistakes that i've
i've done or the bad mistakes that i've made they've taught me you know you
made they've taught me you know you learn
learn like that's why failure is so important
like that's why failure is so important like failing and [ __ ] up and making
like failing and [ __ ] up and making mistakes it's very important that's how
mistakes it's very important that's how you learn let's see the bad feeling that
you learn let's see the bad feeling that you get from something that you
you get from something that you shouldn't have done or wish you didn't
shouldn't have done or wish you didn't do or wish you did better like
do or wish you did better like especially failing at something where
especially failing at something where you half-assed it and you just feel like
you half-assed it and you just feel like a [ __ ] loser like that just teaches
a [ __ ] loser like that just teaches you it teaches you to get your [ __ ]
you it teaches you to get your [ __ ] together well you have such a good
together well you have such a good ability to learn from those things some
ability to learn from those things some people i think kind of repeat you know
people i think kind of repeat you know it's just like it gets repetitive for
it's just like it gets repetitive for some people that's dangerous yeah it's
some people that's dangerous yeah it's dangerous to dwell on past mistakes
dangerous to dwell on past mistakes because people sort of define themselves
because people sort of define themselves by the worst moments that they've ever
by the worst moments that they've ever had and if that's the case like some
had and if that's the case like some people are stuck in high school
people are stuck in high school you know they're stuck in failures that
you know they're stuck in failures that they had like when they're first getting
they had like when they're first getting jobs and they always think that they're
jobs and they always think that they're a loser and they they don't like the
a loser and they they don't like the feeling of failure so they keep low
feeling of failure so they keep low expectations so that they never have to
expectations so that they never have to feel that
feel that you got to get through it you got to get
you got to get through it you got to get through
through bad feelings you got to get through um
bad feelings you got to get through um you got to get through failure it's very
you got to get through failure it's very important and you get through it by just
important and you get through it by just picking yourself back up and moving
picking yourself back up and moving forward and going but it's hard for a
forward and going but it's hard for a lot of people because they that sting
lot of people because they that sting they never get over it the feeling of
they never get over it the feeling of failure and they don't have a good
failure and they don't have a good support system like good friends like
support system like good friends like having a good community of friends it's
having a good community of friends it's very very important because you could
very very important because you could feel like down like if you've been a
feel like down like if you've been a girl broke up with you and you feel like
girl broke up with you and you feel like you're the worst you're a [ __ ] loser
you're the worst you're a [ __ ] loser like you're a piece of [ __ ] but then you
like you're a piece of [ __ ] but then you go out with your friends and you have a
go out with your friends and you have a few laughs and next thing you know
few laughs and next thing you know you're laughing and you're like i'm all
you're laughing and you're like i'm all right
right we'll be all right then maybe you meet a
we'll be all right then maybe you meet a new lady yeah yeah and she like picks
new lady yeah yeah and she like picks you up and you're like oh we're gonna be
you up and you're like oh we're gonna be okay and then you learn from the last
okay and then you learn from the last mistakes yeah that's life it's just
mistakes yeah that's life it's just those feelings of failure are so hard
those feelings of failure are so hard they're so hard to get over and they
they're so hard to get over and they they overwhelm people and some people
they overwhelm people and some people can't get past them and then ev every
can't get past them and then ev every time some new thing comes up when you
time some new thing comes up when you have to rise to the occasion you have to
have to rise to the occasion you have to perform you think about that time you
perform you think about that time you failed and it [ __ ] your head up man you
failed and it [ __ ] your head up man you think i'm a [ __ ] loser i can't do
think i'm a [ __ ] loser i can't do this
this i'm gonna fail i'm gonna [ __ ] up you
i'm gonna fail i'm gonna [ __ ] up you know like bombing like how many times
know like bombing like how many times have you had a bad set and you're like
have you had a bad set and you're like god damn it i suck at comedy i can't do
god damn it i suck at comedy i can't do this i can't do this i suck at comedy
this i can't do this i suck at comedy that's just it i just suck
that's just it i just suck and then you define yourself that way
and then you define yourself that way and you got to get over it
and you got to get over it yeah dude thankfully you never have too
yeah dude thankfully you never have too bad in a row either which is kind of
bad in a row either which is kind of interesting well you learn from that one
interesting well you learn from that one and you like coming out guns blazing for
and you like coming out guns blazing for the next show yeah
the next show yeah yeah maybe it activates some senses in
yeah maybe it activates some senses in you did you feel like you learned that
you did you feel like you learned that from somebody or did you always just
from somebody or did you always just have that kind of intuition when it
have that kind of intuition when it comes to that kind of stuff i think i
comes to that kind of stuff i think i learned it from martial arts because you
learned it from martial arts because you you get your ass kicked and like you
you get your ass kicked and like you don't want to get your ass kicked again
don't want to get your ass kicked again you either quit fighting or you learn
you either quit fighting or you learn how to get a lot better you know and
how to get a lot better you know and then you get your ass kicked in training
then you get your ass kicked in training which happens all the time
which happens all the time and you know you learn from those
and you know you learn from those mistakes you learn you know like maybe
mistakes you learn you know like maybe you're stationary too much or maybe you
you're stationary too much or maybe you telegraph too much or maybe you you got
telegraph too much or maybe you you got tired and you haven't been doing your
tired and you haven't been doing your cardio like
cardio like those those failures that you have for
those those failures that you have for martial arts are so consequential
martial arts are so consequential because you get hurt like you physically
because you get hurt like you physically get punished and then you don't want
get punished and then you don't want that to happen again so you got to be
that to happen again so you got to be either quit or get way better
either quit or get way better i like that and that's great for a lot
i like that and that's great for a lot of my listeners a lot of guys you know
of my listeners a lot of guys you know or just you know a lot of guys um
or just you know a lot of guys um just trying to keep going in their in
just trying to keep going in their in their lives yeah with everybody and my
their lives yeah with everybody and my listeners your listeners anybody who's
listeners your listeners anybody who's listening to anything just people out
listening to anything just people out there yeah that's why there's so many
there yeah that's why there's so many self-help books that's why there's so
self-help books that's why there's so many motivational documentaries and
many motivational documentaries and motivational instagram pages is because
motivational instagram pages is because people need stuff like that they need
people need stuff like that they need something and generally the best version
something and generally the best version of it is coming from someone who's
of it is coming from someone who's experienced [ __ ] ups and got through it
experienced [ __ ] ups and got through it yeah you know
yeah you know yeah i appreciate it man you know you're
yeah i appreciate it man you know you're like a kind of like a library i was
like a kind of like a library i was thinking about the other the other day
thinking about the other the other day in a weird way you're like kind of like
in a weird way you're like kind of like a like a library you know that's
a like a library you know that's interesting
interesting how am i
how am i because you just have all this
because you just have all this information that's passed through you
information that's passed through you and you're able to like kind of you're
and you're able to like kind of you're almost like a cleaners at the cleaners
almost like a cleaners at the cleaners if you ask a question then it goes and
if you ask a question then it goes and gets the information and brings it to
gets the information and brings it to the front you know and it's like wrapped
the front you know and it's like wrapped up kind of it's cool that's a funny way
up kind of it's cool that's a funny way it's a nice skill man because i was even
it's a nice skill man because i was even listening to an old episode of ours and
listening to an old episode of ours and there was information and like kind of
there was information and like kind of suggestions and guidance you shared with
suggestions and guidance you shared with me in there that were still resonating
me in there that were still resonating with me today so it's just pretty cool
with me today so it's just pretty cool cool you know so um thank you so much
cool you know so um thank you so much bro i appreciate your time i appreciate
bro i appreciate your time i appreciate you yeah all right my man
you yeah all right my man [Music]
oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this piece of mind i can feel it
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