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Boring Greek Myths For Sleep | The Entire Story of Greek Mythology

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This content provides a comprehensive narrative journey through Greek mythology, from its primordial origins to the establishment of the Olympian gods and the subsequent interactions with mortals, heroes, and the very fabric of existence. It also offers a stark, visceral depiction of daily life for the lower classes in ancient Rome, highlighting the harsh realities of survival, labor, law, religion, and death.

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Hey there. Tonight, we're going far

back, not to palaces or marble temples,

but to a time of gods, monsters, and

mortals who wandered through a world

shaped by fate and fire. You'll drift

through the entire ark of Greek

mythology. From the first breath of

chaos to the rise of Olympus to the

quiet echo of myths that still shape our

world today, you'll meet heroes who bled

for glory, lovers who defied the gods,

and beings born from seafoam, thunder,

and stubbornness.

If this kind of storytelling helps you

rest, feel free to like the video and

subscribe, but only if it actually

brings you

peace. And let me know in the comments

where you're listening from and what

time it

is. It's strangely comforting to know

who else is out there falling asleep to

the same old

stories. So, dim the lights.

Let the gods whisper. Let the myths

unfold. And let's begin. At the very

beginning, before there was anything at

all, before there were heroes, cities,

or even the stars that watched silently

overhead, there was only chaos. Not the

noisy kind with shouting and spilled

wine. No, this was capital C chaos. A

vast empty potential. No sky, no sea, no

light or dark, just the quiet before

everything. And then slowly something

stirred. From the void came Guia, Earth

herself, broad and eternal, steady

beneath all that would one day walk upon

her. Next came Tartarus, a shadowy depth

beneath the world, more abyss than

place. Then Aeros appeared. Not a

fluttering cherub, but a raw force

drawing things together, setting

creation into motion. From this strange,

silent symphony, more emerged. Darkness,

Arabus, and night, Nyx, who gave rise to

day, Himera, and Ether, light. But most

importantly, Gia gave birth to Uranus,

the sky, who arched above her, a canopy

of stars and cold air. Together, Earth

and Sky would begin the first great

family. And as with many families,

things started out lovely and got

complicated rather

quickly. Gia and Uranus had children, 12

of them. Six daughters and six sons, the

Titans. Among them were Oianis, who

wrapped the world in a ring of water,

and Hyperion, who carried the sun across

the sky.

There was Theis who embodied divine law

and Minimosy the spirit of memory. The

Titans were powerful and strange, born

of the earth and sky made to shape the

world. Unfortunately, Uranus found them

unsettling. Perhaps they were too large

or too loud. Or maybe he simply wasn't

ready for

fatherhood. In any case, he shoved them

back inside Gia. Yes, inside their

mother, which is never a good sign in

mythology or in

obstetrics. Gia, understandably

distressed by having 12 children rested

into her, began to devise a plan. She

forged a great sickle from stone and

approached her buried sons in the dark.

One by one, she asked for help. One by

one they remained silent except Cronis,

the youngest Titan. Cronis had a sharp

mind and a patient nature, dangerous

traits in

combination. He took the sickle from his

mother and waited. And when Uranus

descended again to lie across the earth,

Cronis leapt from the shadows.

In one terrible stroke, he castrated his

father and flung the remains into the

sea. From the blood that fell to Earth

came strange creatures. The Arinius, the

giants, and the Meleier. From the foam

of the sea, where the flesh of Uranus

drifted, arose something

unexpected. Aphroditi, goddess of love

and beauty, fully grown and radiant.

Apparently, in Greek mythology, even

acts of unspeakable violence can yield

supermodels. With Uranus gone, Cronis

took his place as Lord of the Cosmos. He

freed his siblings and ruled over what

would be called the Golden Age, a time

when humans, newly formed, lived without

sorrow, and the gods had not yet begun their

their

meddling. But prophecy lingered.

Uranus had used his last breath or

whatever equivalent Sky possesses to curse

curse

Cronis. He warned that one day Cronis

too would be overthrown by his own

child. Now, having personally

demonstrated how this kind of thing

works, Cronis decided he would avoid

repeating history by doing something

very traditional, eating his children.

He married his sister, Ria. Again, not

unusual in divine circles. And every

time she gave birth, he swallowed the

baby whole. Hestia, Deita, Hera, Hades,

Poseidon. Down they went, swallowed one

by one, trapped inside the dark of their

father's belly. Ria was horrified. And

after losing five children to this

culinary paranoia, she came up with a

plan. When her sixth child was born, she

wrapped a rocking cloth and presented it to

Cronis. Ever the efficient tyrant, he

swallowed it without checking. The real

baby, Zeus, was whisked away to the

island of Cree, hidden in a cave and

raised by nymphs and a divine goat named

Amla. There, under the dripping stone

ceiling of the cave, Zeus grew. He was

fed, loved, and trained in secret. He

listened to stories of the siblings he

had never met. Siblings still alive, but

imprisoned within their father. And as

he grew taller and stronger, so too did his

his

resolve. One day, Zeus left the cave. He

disguised himself and entered the court

of Cronis as a servant.

There, with the help of his grandmother,

Guia, he slipped a potion into Cronis'

wine, something bitter, ancient, and mildly

mildly

volcanic. Cronis began to cough. Then he

gagged. Then, with a noise that would

echo in the halls of Olympus for

generations, he vomited up five fully

grown gods and goddesses, and also, of

course, a large stone.

Reunited at last, the children of Cronis

stood together. They were not meek. They

had not withered. They were divine and

very angry. War was inevitable. The

Titanomachi, the war between the old

gods and the new lasted 10

years. Cronis rallied the Titans to his

side and took up residence on Mount Offus.

Offus.

Zeus and his siblings made their

stronghold on Mount

Olympus. Between them, the world cracked and

and

groaned. At first, neither side could

win. Titans were strong, ancient, and

terrifying. But the Olympians were

clever. And Zeus, ever the tactician,

had an idea. He descended into Tartarus,

the deepest pit of the underworld where

monsters slept. And time grew heavy.

There he found the

Hecatonaris, massive beings with a

hundred arms each, and the cyclopes, who

had been imprisoned long ago by Uranus

for being a little too

inventive. Zeus freed them. In

gratitude, the Cyclopes gave gifts. A

thunderbolt for Zeus, searing and

absolute. A trident for Poseidon, which

could shake the seas. and for Hades, a

helm of darkness, making him invisible

to both God and

mortal. One could argue they were the

ancient world's first tech startup.

Armed with these divine tools, the tide

turned. Zeus hurled bolts that split

mountains. Poseidon flooded

battlefields. Hades walked unseen

through enemy camps, sewing fear with

whispers. Slowly, the titans fell.

Cronis was defeated and bound in chains

of unbreakable iron. The Titans who had

sided with him were cast into Tartarus,

locked behind gates guarded by the hundred-handed

hundred-handed

giants. Only a few escaped

punishment. Femis, goddess of law, who

had remained neutral, and Prometheus,

who had offered quiet aid to

Zeus. Atlas, the general of the Titan

forces, received a special sentence.

For his defiance, he was condemned to

hold up the sky on his shoulders. Not

the earth, as commonly

misunderstood, but the endless heavens

themselves. A job without days off or

proper lumbar

support. With victory secured, the gods

turned to the world. The three brothers,

Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades, cast lots to

divide the realms. Zeus received the

sky. Poseidon the sea and Hades the

underworld. The earth meanwhile was left

to be shared. Not out of kindness, but

because they couldn't decide who would

clean it. And so Mount Olympus became

the seat of the new gods. There they

would rule. There they would fight,

feast, and make poor decisions that

would echo through mortal lives for centuries.

centuries.

The age of the Titans was over. The age

of the Olympians had

begun. And in the shadows of that

beginning, other stories

waited. Stories of men,

monsters, and the strange, stubborn

thing called

fate. By the time the gods stood

reunited, the world had already begun to

hold its breath.

Olympus and Offerus loomed on opposite

ends of the horizon like loaded spears,

and between them the air turned

restless. War wasn't declared with a

speech. It was simply

inevitable. Cronis, unseated and

humiliated, had fled to Mount Offerus,

dragging with him what dignity he had

left and a number of deeply unsettled titans.

titans.

He rallied his old allies, Oianis,

Apotus, Crus, and others. Ancient beings

who had once shaped the very bones of

the world. These were not creatures of

palace intrigue. They were elemental

forces, and they were angry. Meanwhile,

at top Mount Olympus, Zeus gathered his

siblings. They were few in number. Just

six, really, if one didn't count the

stone Cronis had eaten. But they were

determined. Hestia, calm and constant.

Deita, wise and

watchful. Hera, proud and already

sharpening her tongue for future family

squables. Hades and Poseidon stood

ready, though the former spoke little,

and the latter never stopped

pacing. And Zeus, the one who had freed

them, stood taller than the rest.

The world unfortunately was not yet

ready for them. When the war began, it

shook the roots of the

earth. Lightning cracked across a sky

that had no business being angry, and

mountains cracked as if the bones of Gia

herself were being

tested. For 10 long years, the Olympians

and the Titans battled. The sound of

clashing forces was said to echo across time

time

itself. And if you listened closely, you

could hear the sigh of someone realizing

this would take far longer than hoped.

The Titans had strength and age, but the

gods had youth and spite. And as history

has shown, spite can go a very long way.

Yet despite their energy and cleverness,

the Olympians were

losing. The Titans held fast on Ophus,

their fortresses built from stone and

arrogance. Cronis was no fool. He knew

war as well as

prophecy. Every attempt Zeus made to

break their lines was met with brutal

resistance. At night, the stars seemed

to flicker with fatigue.

It was then that Guyia herself

intervened. Though the earth had birthed

both titans and gods, she had grown

weary of endless conflict. The ground

was splitting, the rivers ran

foul. "Even mortals, those fragile little

little

experiments were beginning to notice

that the seasons were a bit off." Guyia

whispered to Zeus in his dreams.

If you want to win, she said, you must

go deeper. So Zeus did. He descended

into Tartarus, a pit so deep even echoes

were reluctant to visit. It was not a

place of casual

tourism. In its endless blackness,

creatures older than fear itself were

bound in

silence. And there, at the bottom, he

found them, the Hecatonaris.

three brothers, each with 50 heads and

100 arms, bound in chains that screamed when

when

touched. Uranus had imprisoned them long

ago, disturbed by their chaotic nature

and the fact that shaking hands required

a great deal of

coordination. Alongside them were the

Cyclopes, the oneeyed smiths of legend,

unjustly locked away simply for being a

little too handy with magma and steel.

Zeus broke their bonds. The chains

crumbled like wet parchment in his

hands, and the freed giants

rose. The very walls of Tartarus

trembled as they stretched, arms

unfurling, eyes blinking open for the

first time in centuries. They did not

speak. They simply

nodded. The cyclopes, grateful and

slightly soot stained, offered

gifts to Zeus. They gave the thunderbolt

not just a weapon, but a piece of the

sky itself, bottled and waiting to be

unleashed. To Poseidon, they gave a

trident that could shake the sea down to its

its

bones. And to Hades, they gave a helm of

darkness, a crown of sorts woven from

shadow that would let him move unseen

even among the gods.

One could say it was their way of saying

thank you, though the wrapping paper

left much to be desired. With these

gifts, the Olympians prepared for a final

final

assault. The battle that followed was

not so much a fight as a rewriting of

reality. Zeus hurled thunder that carved

rivers into

mountainsides. Poseidon cracked open the

earth and summoned walls of water to

crash against the Titan fortresses.

Hades, invisible beneath his helm,

slipped behind enemy lines like a

whisper. No door was safe. No thought

was private. Even time seemed to pause

and take notes. Cronis fought fiercely,

sickle in hand, teeth bared in the

stormlight. He had ruled the cosmos and

tasted fear. He would not go quietly.

But power once rested from the hands of

the old rarely returns to

them. And slowly, inevitably, the tide

turned. Zeus struck him

down. Not with a

flourish, not with a

speech, just one blinding strike of a

skyforged fury, and the Titan king fell.

With Cronis defeated, the rest of the

Titans began to break. Some tried to

flee, scattering like crows before a

fire. Others dropped their weapons and

knelt, hoping surrender might soften the

sentence. Most were cast into Tartarus,

chained behind walls of black stone,

watched eternally by the Hecatoneris.

Hecatoneris.

The punishment was neither swift nor

particularly poetic, but it was

effective. A few were spared.

Prometheus, who had whispered guidance

to Zeus when no one else

dared. Theis who had stood aside and

measured justice even as her kin roared for

for

blood. These were allowed to walk free,

if only because Zeus was pragmatic

enough to keep useful minds close.

Atlas, however, was singled out. For his

leadership, for his refusal to bend, he

was given a special punishment to stand

at the edge of the world and hold up the sky

sky

itself. Not the earth, as many

mistakenly believe, the sky, an infinite

ceiling with no end and no ceiling fan

in sight. To this day, he holds it still

with poor posture and no thanks.

With the war ended, the gods stood among

the wreckage. They had won, but there

were decisions to make. The world could

not remain unclaimed. And so the three

brothers drew lots. Zeus claimed the

sky, the winds, the clouds, the rolling

thunder, and the vault of stars.

Poseidon took the sea, the depths, the

storms, and all that swam or drowned

within. and Hades quietly and without

protest accepted the

underworld, a place of shadows and

silence where the souls of the dead

would wander. He did not complain, nor

did he smile. He simply

nodded. Some roles choose their bearer.

The earth curiously, was left to all, or

perhaps to none. The gods would walk it,

so would mortals, but it belonged to

neither. With dominion divided, the gods

made their home at top Mount Olympus, a

place high above mortal reach, where

storms danced and the air was thick with

ambrosia. From there they would rule.

But peace did not settle

immediately. Scars remained. Resentment

lingered, and even in their triumph, the

gods were still young. Divine, yes, but

prone to jealousy, pride, and an

occasional poor decision involving mortal

mortal

lovers. Still, a new age had begun. The

age of titans was over. The age of

Olympians had risen, and while the

thrones were now filled, the story was

only just beginning.

With the Titans defeated and the cosmos

divided, the dust of war began to settle

across the battered face of world.

Olympus stood untouched by the veilence,

or perhaps simply indifferent to it,

rising high above the clouds, a peak of

impossible beauty where mortal storms

dared not tread. And it was here, amid

marble halls and eternal sunrises, that

the new gods began to build their rule.

The Olympians were not many in number,

but they were loud, bright, and

impossible to ignore. They didn't ask

for attention. They radiated it. And

now, with the realms of sky, sea, and

shadow nately divided among the three

brothers, it was time for something far

more complicated.

governance. Zeus, now king of the gods,

took up his throne at top Olympus with

all the grace of someone who had just

invented the concept of rulerships 5

minutes ago, and was fairly certain he

was excellent at it. He was a god of

thunder, yes, but also of law, order,

hospitality, and curiously,

justice, although the latter would soon

prove to be more of an optional suggestion.

suggestion.

With his thunderbolt in hand and his

beard growing increasingly dramatic,

Zeus declared the new age begun. From

now on, Olympus would be the center of

divine power, and he would sit at its

center. Zeus ruled the skies, the

clouds, the wind, the rain, and the

storms. Every roll of thunder was his

voice, every flash of lightning his

will. He was the judge, the enforcer,

and occasionally the problem. He was

known to be noble, but

impulsive, wise, but easily distracted,

and his distractions almost always

involved mortal women, swans, golden

showers, or some deeply questionable

combination thereof. Poseidon, in

contrast, was less dramatic, but far

more volatile. As lord of the sea, he

claimed dominion over every drop of

water from the deepest trench to the

highest wave. He built a palace of coral

and pearl beneath the ocean, surrounded

by dolphins and sea beasts, and declared

it his own private

court. Poseidon was a god of earthquakes

as well, which was unfortunate for

coastal cities, as he was famously touchy.

touchy.

A bad mood from Poseidon could level entire

entire

towns. Still, he was not

unkind. He had a soft spot for horses,

which he allegedly created, and for

sailors, whom he alternated between

saving and drowning, depending on

whether they remembered to offer him wine.

wine.

Hades, eldest of the three, ruled the

underworld, a realm of endless mist and

shadow, where the dead arrived not with

fanfare, but with quiet

inevitability. His kingdom was not a

place of fire and brimstone. It was

solemn, vast, and cold. Rivers crossed

it, the sticks, the leafy, the aaron,

each with its own dreadful poetry.

The souls of mortals wandered there,

guided by Hermes and judged in

silence. Hades did not reside on

Olympus, preferring the company of

shades to that of his siblings. He was

not evil, nor cruel, merely

absolute. Where Zeus thundered and

Poseidon surged, Hades

endured. His kingdom did not end, and so

neither did his watch. And then there

were the others.

Hia, queen of the cods, took her place

beside Zeus reluctantly and with several raised

raised

eyebrows. She was the goddess of

marriage and family, which some

considered ironic given her husband's

frequent adventures in shape-shifting

seduction. Hera was proud, sharp, and

deeply committed to her role. She did

not forget insults, and she rarely

forgave betrayals. Her domain included

the sanctity of marriage, childbirth,

and the defense of women. But she is

best remembered for her jealous

vengeance, often taken not on Zeus, but

on the poor mortals he failed to

resist. One might argue that she

confused marital fidelity with pest

control. Deita, goddess of the harvest,

tended to the earth. It was she who made

crops grow and seasons turn. When she

walked the fields, grain sprouted behind

her feet. She was calm, maternal, and

warm, but not to be

crossed. The world would learn this

lesson the hard way in time. Hestia, the

gentlest of the Olympians, ruled over

half and home. She received the first

portion of every sacrifice and kept the

fire burning in every city.

She avoided the intrigues of her more

theatrical siblings and remained steady,

the one constant in a family of shifting

tempers and sudden

storms. And then came Athena, born fully

grown and armored from Zeus's skull, a

detail best left

unexamined. Athena was the goddess of

wisdom, war, and crafts.

She preferred strategy to savagery and

thought before she acted, which made her

a rare creature indeed on

Olympus. She carried the Eegis, a shield

bearing the head of Medusa, and advised

kings, heroes, and anyone who could

tolerate being corrected

mid-sentence. She was one of three

virgin goddesses, sworn to no man,

mortal or

divine. Not that many would have dared

try. Apollo and Artemus

followed. Twins, radiant, and deadly in

their own

right. Apollo was the god of the sun,

music, prophecy, and

medicine. He played the liar with divine

perfection, and occasionally used it to

taunt people into becoming animals. His

oracle at Deli would soon become the

most famous voice of prophecy in the

world, even if her delivery left much to

be desired in the clarity

department. Artemus, his twin, ruled the

moon, the hunt, and the wild places of

the world. She walked beneath the trees

with her bow and her hounds, guarding

animals and young girls alike. Like

Athena, she rejected the company of men.

And like Athena, reacted poorly when

disturbed at bath time. Iris, the god of

war, arrived with less fanfare, but far

more shouting. He represented the raw

chaos of battle. Blood, rage, and

clanging armor. Where Athena was war's

strategist, Aris was its tantrum. He was

strong, loud, and frequently wounded in

embarrassing ways. Even Jews found him

irritating. So did everyone else. Then

came Heistas, god of fire and the

forge. Born lame and cast from Olympus

by his own mother, Hifistas learned to

create beauty from pain. His hands

forged the weapons of gods and heroes.

He built automatons of gold and crafted

palaces of impossible

engineering. Despite his brilliance, he

was married off to

Aphroditi, which led to precisely the

sort of drama one expects when a quiet

engineer marries the goddess of desire.

Aphroditi, born from seafoam and divine

scandal, ruled over love, beauty, and

mischief. She could bend hearts like

reeds and use that power

liberally. She was captivating, vain,

and occasionally

vindictive. Her affairs were legend, as

were the reactions of those she

scorned. Cupid, or was her frequent

companion, firing arrows of affection at

mortals who usually didn't appreciate

the timing.

Then there was Hermes, the messenger

god, the trickster, the

traveler. Hermes wore winged sandals and

carried a

kajuzius. He was the god of boundaries,

thieves, merchants, and speech. He could

move between worlds with ease and talk

his way out of nearly anything. He was

clever, fast, and entirely too pleased

with himself. And lastly,

Dionis, god of wine. revalry, madness,

and theater. He arrived late to Olympus,

but with great

enthusiasm. His festivals would soon

sweep across Greece like wildfire, equal

parts joy and

delirium. Dionisus was both freeing and

dangerous, the thin line between

celebration and

frenzy. Together, these 12 and a few

rotating extras became the Olympians.

They were gods, yes, but also a family.

A dysfunctional, vengeful, hilarious,

and deeply theatrical family. They

shaped the weather, fate, love, and war.

They raised empires and doomed heroes,

and they quarreled

constantly. One might say the only thing

more powerful than their divine

abilities was their collective inability

to mind their own business.

But they were not

distant. Unlike other gods who sat

silently in unreachable heavens, the

Olympians walked the earth. They took

sides in battles, guided ships,

whispered to poets, and occasionally

turned people into

shrubs. They were worshiped in temples,

honored with sacrifices, and cursed in private.

private.

Every city had its patron, every home its

its

altar. And though they ruled from a

mountain wrapped in cloud, they were in

spirit very

close. Olympus had risen. The gods had

found their

seats, and across the earth, the stories

had only just begun. After the dust of

the Titanomaki had settled, and the last

thunderbolt echoed off the

mountaintops, Zeus and his siblings

assumed their roles as rulers of the

cosmos. The universe had been

divided. Zeus took the heavens. Poseidon

claimed the seas and Hades was given

dominion over the underworld. With the

Titans banished to Tartarus and the

Olympians seated on their thrones, a new

age began. The sky crackled with divine

energy. The sea stirred under Poseidon's

command. And deep below the spirits of

the dead began their long march through

the misty halls of

Hades. The earth, however, was eerily

quiet. There were mountains, yes, vast and

and

majestic. Rivers and forests teeming

with life. Seasons turned in elegant

cycles. Birds sang and wild beasts

prowled the land. But something

essential was

missing. There was no intelligence

gazing up at the stars, no stories told

by firelight, no fear or reverence

directed toward the heavens. The gods

had their kingdom but no

audience. Prometheus, the titan whose

name meant forthought, saw this void and

felt it more acutely than any

other. Where others had been content

with power or vengeance, Prometheus had

always been drawn to

creation. He had fought alongside the

Olympians during the war, not out of

loyalty, but out of belief in the future

they might build.

A future he realized that was woefully

incomplete without mortals to walk the

earth. And so he descended from Olympus

and wandered through the valleys and

across the plains until he reached a quiet

quiet

riverbank. There, kneeling in the mud,

he gathered a handful of clay and began

to shape it. Not out of arrogance or

ambition, but with the careful precision

of an artist and the quiet awe of a

parent. He molded limbs, curved a spine,

added fingers to grasp, feet to roam,

and eyes that could marvel at the sky.

He formed mouths not just to eat, but to

question, to sing, to tell stories that

would outlive them. When the forms were

ready, he breathed life into them. a

divine breath. Not just air, but spark

and soul, thought and fire. These were

not animals. They were not gods. They

were something entirely new. They were

humans. At first, they were clumsy. They

stumbled through the forests, confused

and curious. They lacked claws, fur, or

fangs. They feared the dark, the cold,

the howl of wolves. But they learned

quickly. They made tools of stone,

mimicked the calls of birds, and formed

crude shelters from branches and leaves.

They were fragile, yes, but endlessly

inventive. And to Prometheus, they were

magnificent. Zeus, however, was less

impressed. From his golden throne on

Olympus, he looked down at these new

creatures and scowlled. "They look like

us," he said, voice thick with suspicion.

suspicion.

They were inspired by us, Prometheus

replied evenly. They're weak. Look at

them. They don't even know how to

survive a frost. They can learn. They

shouldn't be learning. They should be

worshiping. Zeus muttered. Prometheus

said nothing. Zeus frowned. Don't give

them too much. Let them remain

grateful. Prometheus nodded outwardly.

But in his heart, he disagreed.

He continued to watch his creation, and

what he saw troubled him. The humans

cowered in caves when nightfell,

trembling in the cold. They ate their

food raw, risking

sickness. Their lives were short, their

progress slow. What they needed,

Prometheus knew, was fire, but fire was

forbidden. It was divine, reserved for

Olympus alone.

It burned in Hestia's hearth in Aistas'

forge. No mortal was allowed to touch

it. Zeus had declared it so, and his

word was law, Prometheus stole it

anyway. One night, while Olympus was

shrouded in sleep and starlight,

Prometheus crept to the half of Hestia.

He plucked a single coal from the

eternal flame and tucked it into a fennel

fennel

stalk. An ordinary plant with a hollow

stem perfect for

concealment. He slipped away, descending

from the heavens with his precious

smoldering gift. When he gave it to

humanity, the world changed. With fire,

they transformed the night. They warmed

themselves, cooked food, and forged

stronger tools. They began to gather

around flames and tell stories, to pass

on knowledge, to

dream. Smoke rose from their halves like

prayers. Fire became a symbol of

everything that made them different from

beasts, everything that hinted at the

divine within them. Zeus was furious.

You gave them fire, he roared, lightning

crackling at his

fingertips. They needed it, Prometheus

said. They will challenge us. They will

forget to fear. They will

flourish. Zeus saw no wisdom in those

words, only

defiance. As punishment, he ordered

Prometheus to be seized and chained to

the highest, most desolate peak of the

Caucus' mountains.

There the Titan was bound with

unbreakable chains forged by Histasus

himself and left to the

elements. But even that was not enough.

Each day an eagle, a monstrous divine

bird, would descend and tear into

Prometheus's side, devouring his liver.

Each night the wound healed, and each

morning the eagle returned. The cycle

was endless, the pain eternal. And yet,

Prometheus endured. He did not beg. He

did not repent. For in the far distance,

he could still see the smoke of fires

rising from human villages. His

suffering, he believed, was a fair

price. But Zeus was not

finished. Prometheus had given humanity

a gift. Now Zeus would give them one,

too. a gift wrapped in beauty, charm,

and danger. He called upon Heistas once

more, and the gods fashioned a woman

from clay. She was shaped with care and

gifted by each

Olympian. From Aphrodite, she received

beauty. From Hermes, persuasion. From

Athena, skill from Hia, pride. But from

Zeus, she received something else

entirely, curiosity. They named her

Pandora, meaning all gifted. To her,

Zeus gave a sealed jar. "Do not open

it," he warned. "No matter what you

hear, no matter what you feel, leave it

closed." And then he sent her down to

Earth. Prometheus, from his distant

prison, had no way to warn his brother,

Epimetheus, who welcomed Pandora without hesitation.

hesitation.

She was clever, kind, and filled with

questions. She admired the humans, asked

about their ways, their stories, their

tools. But the jar haunted her. It sat

quietly in their home, sealed tight, and

yet it pulsed with mystery. What lay

inside? Why was it forbidden? What would

happen if, and one day, her curiosity

won. She opened it. From within the jar,

exploded a torrent of miseries. Disease,

envy, sorrow, madness, greed, war. All

the suffering the world had never known

before now poured into it. Pandora cried

out and tried to close it, but the

damage was done. She fell to her knees,

trembling. But from the depths of the

jar, she heard something else. Something

soft and

steady. Hope. The last thing in the jar.

The only thing that had not

escaped. She closed the lid gently,

keeping hope

inside. And though the world was now

filled with pain, with loss, and with

fear, it also had hope. Humanity for all

its grief did not fall. They fought,

they mourned, they loved, and they tried

again. Chained to the wind blasted

crags. Prometheus would sometimes close

his eyes and remember the day he gave

them fire. Not the theft, not the flight

from Olympus, but the moment he watched

their faces light up.

He remembered how one child reached out

to touch the flame and quickly pulled

back, laughing, eyes wide with

awe. He remembered the old woman who

used it to cook food for the first time.

The astonishment on her face when she

realized the tubers didn't taste like soil

soil

anymore. That was the moment he knew he

had done the right

thing. The humans, meanwhile, evolved

quickly. Fire allowed them to settle, to

cook, to forge tools from bronze and

iron. They began to sing, not just out

of fear or grief, but joy. They created

rituals around fire, danced beside it,

married before it, whispered secrets

into its

embers. Their societies grew, crude but

determined, with fire at the heart of

every village. and Pandora. She was not

wicked. She had not opened the jar out of

malice. She had wept, not just for the

pain she had released, but for the

betrayal she felt from the gods who had

made her a weapon. From the silence of

the heavens when she cried out, but hope

had spoken to her, too. Not in words,

but in warmth, in stillness.

It reminded her that even if she had

been used, she was not beyond

forgiveness. Zeus in time came to

realize the humans would not be wiped

away. They were tenacious. They prayed,

they cursed, but they kept building, and

their fires never went out. By the time

Zeus had secured his place on the throne

of Olympus, one might have hoped he'd

settle into the routine of celestial

leadership, passing judgment, throwing

the occasional thunderbolt, maybe

hosting a divine banquet or

two. Instead, Olympus quickly became

less a seat of power and more a swirling

court of rumors, jealousies, and very

loud arguments.

At the center of it all stood Zeus, king

of the gods and serial destroyer of

trust. For all his power and wisdom,

Zeus had one consistent weakness, mortal

women and nymphs and

goddesses, and occasionally things that

only looked vaguely like women. His

tastes were eclectic, his disguises

inventive, and his timing, by all divine

accounts, terrible. But the one being

who could never quite overlook these

indiscretions was his wife, Hera, queen

of the gods, goddess of marriage, and

patron of eternal

grudges. Their marriage was, in the

politest terms, an ongoing diplomatic

crisis. To understand Hera's fury, one

must understand the scale of Zeus's

extracurricular activity. He did not

simply flirt. He transformed himself

into golden rain, bulls, swans, and

clouds. All to pursue love or lust,

depending on your

interpretation. Each affair left behind

not only a trail of divine gossip, but a

legacy of demigods, heroes, and mortal

tragedy. Take Io for instance, a

priestess of Hera herself.

Zeus approached her in secret,

whispering sweet nothings with the

confidence of a god who thought himself

untouchable. But Hera's suspicions were

never far

behind. As Zeus saw his wife

approaching, he panicked and turned Io

into a beautiful white

cow. A fine solution had Hera not

immediately demanded the animal as a

gift. Cornered, Zeus obliged. Io, now

thoroughly boine, was handed over to

Hia, who promptly assigned Argus

Ponoptis, the hundredy guardian, to keep

watch. To free Io, Zeus enlisted Hermes,

who lulled Argus to sleep with music

before killing him and releasing the poor

poor

girl. Hia naturally retaliated by

sending a gadfly to torment Io

endlessly, stinging her into a frantic

journey across the known world.

Io's footsteps carved place names into

maps. The Ionian Sea, the

Bosperus. And though she would

eventually reach Egypt and be restored

to her human form, her tale was never quite

quite

forgotten. Nor was Hia's wroth.

Another of Zeus's better known pursuits

was Letto, a gentle titanus who bore a

quiet dignity and very little interest

in becoming the center of a divine

scandal. But when she became pregnant

with Zeus's children, twins no less, Ha

flew into a fury. She decreed that no

land under the sun should give Leto sanctuary.

sanctuary.

The desperate mother to be wandered from

island to island, turned away by cities

and shores

alike. Finally, she arrived at the

floating island of Delos, a place not

tethered to the earth, and thus exempt

from her curse. There, after nine

agonizing days of labor, Letto gave

birth to Artemis and then Apollo, two of

the most influential gods of Olympus.

Hia had tried to delay their entry into

the world. What she got instead were two

children who would shape mythology

forever. Apollo, the god of light,

music, and

prophecy. Artemis, the goddess of the

hunt and guardian of the wild. Both

remembered what their mother endured.

And then there was Semile, a mortal

woman from thieves, who unlike Io or

Leto, did not flee Zeus's advances.

She loved him, and for once Zeus loved

her back. But this story, too, did not

end well. Hera, in one of her more

cunning moods, disguised herself as an

old nurse and visited Semile, planting

seeds of doubt in her

mind. If your lover is truly Zeus, she

said sweetly, should he not reveal

himself to you in all his glory?

Semile, young and trusting, asked Zeus

to do just that. Bound by an oath he

could not break, Zeus revealed his

divine form, and Semile was instantly

incinerated by the sheer force of his

presence. It was, to put it mildly, not

the romantic climax she had imagined.

Yet from the ashes came Dionis.

Zeus rescued the unborn child by sewing

him into his own thigh until he was

ready to be born. A detail rarely

featured in

lullabies. Dionis, god of wine, madness,

and theater, would grow into one of the

most unpredictable deities in the Greek

pantheon. His birth, both tragic and

miraculous, was another strange

testament to Zeus's chaotic domestic life.

life.

These weren't isolated incidents. Zeus's

unions, consensual or otherwise, with

mortals, nymphs, and goddesses alike,

produced a sprawling genealogy of heroes

and demigods. Heracles, born of Alcain.

Perseus, son of Da. Helen of Troy,

supposedly hatched from an egg after

Zeus seduced or assaulted her mother

later in the form of a swan. The stories

vary in tone but are united by their

consequences. Human history in myth was

shaped by divine passion and Hera's

furious fallout. Hera's vengeance was

rarely directed at Zeus himself. He was

king, and even she, powerful as she was,

could not overrule his will. Instead,

her fury fell upon the women he seduced

and the children they bore. Sometimes

this meant banishment. sometimes

sometimes

torment, sometimes the slow corrosion of

fate. In Heracles case, it meant a

lifetime of madness and suffering

designed to humble even the strongest

son of

Zeus. But Ha was more than just a

jealous wife. She was queen of Olympus,

the protector of marriage, and a goddess

who demanded

respect. Her punishments, though harsh,

were consistent. She embodied order in a

pantheon of chaos, permanence in a world

shaped by whim. And yet for all their

conflict, Zeus and Hera stayed

together. Perhaps out of divine

obligation. Perhaps out of

stubbornness, or perhaps because the

heavens themselves needed a king and

queen to mirror the mortal structures

below. Their marriage filled with

betrayal and bickering reflected not

perfection but

permanence. A truth familiar to many who

stayed in relationships well past the

dramatic bits. In a strange way, these

affairs, these tangled, scandalous

unions, served a cosmic

purpose. The world of men was populated

not by the children of dirt alone, but

by those who bore divine blood.

These offspring became the bridge

between gods and mortals. They fought

wars, founded cities, slew monsters, and

often lived just long enough to inspire

a tragic song. And the gods watched

them, proud and exasperated in equal

measure. Zeus, for all his wandering

desires, never stopped asserting control from

from

Olympus. Hera, for all her grievances,

never relinquished her crown. Their

disputes became divine theater, shaping

weather, politics, and fate. One

thunderbolt from Zeus might signal a

divine tantrum. One withering glance

from Hera could doom a kingdom. And

mortals, those unlucky enough to fall

into their drama, rarely escaped

unscathed. So the gossip of Olympus

continued. Mortals whispered about gods

falling in love and being punished for it.

it.

Nymphs avoided cloud-shaped

strangers. Kings built temples in Hia's

name, hoping to avoid her eye. And the

world spun on, tangled in the affections

and fury of its heavenly

rulers. For all the chaos Zeus caused,

and for all the revenge Hera unleashed,

there was one constant. Their stories

lived on. told in temples and whispered

around halffires, they became the myths

that explained not just thunder and

childbirth, but betrayal, jealousy, and

the strange persistence of

love. And somewhere high on Olympus, or

hidden in the clouds, Zeus likely smiled

at another mortal girl, and her

sharpened her stare. And for mortals,

these stories weren't simply

entertainment. They were cautionary

tales, moral blueprints, and strangely

comforting explanations for the

unexplainable. Why did love so often

lead to

tragedy? Why were some people born into

greatness while others were fated to

suffer? The myths offered answers,

albeit ones dressed in divine drama and

poetic injustice.

Children who grew up hearing these tales

knew better than to tempt fate or

gods. Young lovers invoked Aphrodites

name with trembling

lips. Expectant mothers whispered

prayers to hear her, begging her not to

take offense at their happiness.

Farmers left offerings at roadside

shrines, not just for harvest, but in

hopes that their daughters might be

spared the attention of wandering

gods. And yet, despite the pain in these

tales, there was something beautiful in

them, too. Even the gods, for all their

power, were tangled in longing and fury,

guilt and pride. They hurt each other.

They stayed in messy marriages.

They mourned what they

destroyed. It made the cosmos feel less

like a cold, perfect machine and more

like a mirror. One where human hearts

could recognize their own flaws in

celestial form. For all their immortal

glory, the gods were never far from mortal

mortal

emotion. And that perhaps is why we

still tell their

stories. By the time the gods had firmly

established their places at top Olympus

and etched their names into temples and

myths across the Greek

world, one question still lingered among

mortals and immortals

alike. Who among all these divine beings

would guide civilization

forward, not just with strength or

power, but with wisdom, skill, and

something more lasting than conquest?

The answer, as it turned out, would

emerge not through war, but through a

contest. At the heart of this tale was a

fledgling city, a coastal settlement

nestled between rocky hills and the

sapphire waters of the

Ajian. The people who lived there were

resourceful, but

uncertain. They had stone, they had

salt, they had sun, and they had gods.

What they needed was a patron, one who

would watch over them, protect them, and

give their city a name worthy of the

ages. Two gods stepped forward. The

first was Poseidon, lord of the sea,

earth shaker, tamer of horses, and

occasional flood

enthusiast. He was powerful, proud, and

loud. At the second was Athena, goddess

of wisdom, warfare, weaving, and

well-timed restraint.

She was calm, calculating, and never one

to show off unless it proved a point.

They both laid claim to the city, and

rather than plunge the heavens into yet

another divine quarrel, the gods agreed

on a

challenge. Whichever deity could offer

the more useful gift to the people would

earn the city's devotion.

Poseidon, never one to wait his turn,

strode into the heart of the city square

and raised his mighty

trident. With a dramatic flourish he

struck the rocky earth. The ground

trembled. Lightning split the sky for

flare, and from the stone burst forth a

magnificent spring of water. The crowd

gasped, the spring sparkled in the

sunlight, cool and clear. Then someone

took a sip. It was salt water. Poseidon,

god of oceans, had given the city a salt

spring. To his credit, it was a

beautiful salt spring, glimmering,

mysterious, perhaps even good for

exfoliating. But as the people tasted it

and began coughing politely into their

togas, it became clear that salty

drinking water was less of a blessing

and more of a cautionary tale.

Athena waited for the murmurss to fade.

Then, with quiet grace, she stepped

forward. Kneeling beside the parched

soil, she pressed her fingers to the

earth. From that spot, a small chute

emerged. It grew slowly, gently, until

it became a sturdy olive tree, its

leaves catching the breeze, and its

branches heavy with promise. The people

gathered close. They tasted the olives,

pressed them into oil, rubbed it on

wounds, burned it in lamps. They

marveled at the tree's shade, its fruit,

its longevity. No theatrics, no thunder,

just a tree, a future. The gods judged

Athena, the victor, and the city was

named Athens in her honor. It was a

turning point not just for one city but

for the whole mythological

landscape. While Poseidon returned to

his waves, Athena became a symbol of

something new. Intellect over impulse,

patience over

bluster, growth over spectacle. But

Athena was never just the goddess of

cleverness. She embodied practical

wisdom, knowledge applied. She was the

patron of architects and strategists, of

artisans and thinkers. She didn't just

win wars, she prevented them, or at

least ensured they were fought

wisely. She also had a talent for

invention. The bridal, the ship, the

chariot, all innovations guided by her

unseen hand. Music, mathematics,

philosophy, her gifts shaped them all.

While Aries roared across battlefields,

Athena quietly built the city that could

outlast the

war. Still, for all her restraint,

Athena was not immune to pride. This

brings us to the story of

Arachnne. In a small town far from

Olympus, a young woman sat at a loom.

Her name was Arachnne, and her weaving was

was

extraordinary. Her tapestries shimmerred

with life. Scenes of forests and feasts,

gods and monsters threaded with color so

fine it seemed divine. People traveled

for miles to see her work. And Arachnne

welcomed them with quiet

confidence. Until one day she began to

boast. They say Athena taught me, she

said to a wideeyed crowd. But I taught

myself. And I weave better than any god. Now, if history has taught us anything,

Now, if history has taught us anything, it's that comparing oneself to a god is

it's that comparing oneself to a god is rarely the start of a restful

rarely the start of a restful afternoon. Athena heard the claim. And

afternoon. Athena heard the claim. And while she could have reduced the girl's

while she could have reduced the girl's house to rubble, or turned her loom into

house to rubble, or turned her loom into ash, she chose instead to appear in

ash, she chose instead to appear in disguise, an old woman stooped with

disguise, an old woman stooped with time. "You should be careful," she

time. "You should be careful," she warned gently. The gods do not take

warned gently. The gods do not take kindly to such

kindly to such pride. Arachnne shrugged. Um, let her

pride. Arachnne shrugged. Um, let her come. I'd challenge Athena herself if

come. I'd challenge Athena herself if she dared. Athena dropped the disguise.

she dared. Athena dropped the disguise. The loom fell

The loom fell silent. I accept, the goddess said. The

silent. I accept, the goddess said. The two began to weave. Athena's tapestry

two began to weave. Athena's tapestry showed the gods in all their glory.

showed the gods in all their glory. Regal and wise, mighty and fair.

Regal and wise, mighty and fair. It was a masterwork of divine

It was a masterwork of divine dignity, every thread singing with

dignity, every thread singing with celestial pride. Arachnne, for her part,

celestial pride. Arachnne, for her part, wo something different. Her tapestry

wo something different. Her tapestry told the truth. It showed the gods

told the truth. It showed the gods mistakes, their petty rivalries, their

mistakes, their petty rivalries, their jealousies and

jealousies and cruelties. It depicted Zeus's many

cruelties. It depicted Zeus's many disguises, hero's rages, Apollo's

disguises, hero's rages, Apollo's curses.

curses. The images were vivid, honest, and

The images were vivid, honest, and flawless. When they finished, Athena

flawless. When they finished, Athena examined both works. She could find no

examined both works. She could find no fault in Arachnne's weaving. No missed

fault in Arachnne's weaving. No missed stitch, no clumsy pattern. It was

stitch, no clumsy pattern. It was perfect, and it was

perfect, and it was insulting, not because it was false, but

insulting, not because it was false, but because it was true. Athena's anger

because it was true. Athena's anger flared, not with jealousy, but with

flared, not with jealousy, but with disappointment.

disappointment. The girl had talent, yes, but no

The girl had talent, yes, but no reverence, no

reverence, no humility. So Athena did what gods often

humility. So Athena did what gods often do when their pride is pricricked. She

do when their pride is pricricked. She punished her. With a single touch, she

punished her. With a single touch, she transformed Arachnne into the first

transformed Arachnne into the first spider. Eight-legged, quick-fingered,

spider. Eight-legged, quick-fingered, forever weaving in

forever weaving in silence. Her descendants would continue

silence. Her descendants would continue the craft, spinning intricate webs

the craft, spinning intricate webs across trees and doorways, threading

across trees and doorways, threading beauty through air

beauty through air itself. It was a lesson not just about

itself. It was a lesson not just about pride, but about the fine line between

pride, but about the fine line between talent and

talent and arrogance. Athena did not hate

arrogance. Athena did not hate excellence. She demanded it, but she

excellence. She demanded it, but she demanded respect, too, for gods, for

demanded respect, too, for gods, for gifts, for the delicate balance between

gifts, for the delicate balance between inspiration and hubris.

inspiration and hubris. And in that she was no different from

And in that she was no different from the city she

the city she protected. Athens under her watch became

protected. Athens under her watch became the cradle of learning and art, of

the cradle of learning and art, of philosophy and

philosophy and democracy. Its streets were lined with

democracy. Its streets were lined with sculpture and debate with marble

sculpture and debate with marble colonades and whispered poetry. The

colonades and whispered poetry. The olive tree still stood in the Acropolis,

olive tree still stood in the Acropolis, a quiet reminder of the day wisdom

a quiet reminder of the day wisdom vested force. Yet Athena was never a

vested force. Yet Athena was never a goddess of comfort. She inspired, yes,

goddess of comfort. She inspired, yes, but she also

but she also challenged. She pushed mortals to think

challenged. She pushed mortals to think harder, build better, question deeper.

harder, build better, question deeper. Her favor came not to the strongest, but

Her favor came not to the strongest, but to the clever, the disciplined, the

to the clever, the disciplined, the bold. She watched the world not with

bold. She watched the world not with warmth, but with clarity. And from her

warmth, but with clarity. And from her place above the city that bore her name,

place above the city that bore her name, she waited for those who dared to

she waited for those who dared to think. Athena's influence didn't stop at

think. Athena's influence didn't stop at invention or battle

invention or battle strategy. Her very presence on Olympus

strategy. Her very presence on Olympus helped shift the nature of divinity

helped shift the nature of divinity itself. She represented a new kind of

itself. She represented a new kind of power, one that didn't thunder or storm,

power, one that didn't thunder or storm, but reasoned, observed, and guided.

but reasoned, observed, and guided. And the mortals who honored her began to

And the mortals who honored her began to reflect that shift. They carved her

reflect that shift. They carved her statues not just with swords and

statues not just with swords and shields, but with books, scrolls, and

shields, but with books, scrolls, and thoughtful

thoughtful expressions. Her temples were filled not

expressions. Her temples were filled not only with offerings, but with

only with offerings, but with ideas. Debates broke out in her name.

ideas. Debates broke out in her name. Laws were argued beneath her gaze.

Laws were argued beneath her gaze. Artists painted under her inspiration.

Artists painted under her inspiration. Mathematicians named theorems in her

Mathematicians named theorems in her honor. and poets who usually preferred

honor. and poets who usually preferred Apollo whispered her name when they

Apollo whispered her name when they finally found the right

finally found the right phrase. Cities under her protection

phrase. Cities under her protection didn't just grow, they

didn't just grow, they flourished. But Athena was no stranger

flourished. But Athena was no stranger to war. Though not bloodthirsty like

to war. Though not bloodthirsty like Aries, she led battles when they were

Aries, she led battles when they were just. She stood behind Adysius with

just. She stood behind Adysius with every cunning twist he made. She guided

every cunning twist he made. She guided Perseus on his deadly quest against

Perseus on his deadly quest against Medusa. Her gift was not brute strength,

Medusa. Her gift was not brute strength, but strategic

but strategic clarity. She didn't charge first. She

clarity. She didn't charge first. She calculated first, and then she won. And

calculated first, and then she won. And always she returned to Athens.

always she returned to Athens. The olive tree she gifted stood as both

The olive tree she gifted stood as both a memory and a promise of peace through

a memory and a promise of peace through preparation, of beauty born from

preparation, of beauty born from simplicity, of the quiet strength of

simplicity, of the quiet strength of something that grows, endures, and

something that grows, endures, and feeds. In the hush of night, as lamps

feeds. In the hush of night, as lamps flickered across marble porticos, and

flickered across marble porticos, and the sea wind rustled olive branches, the

the sea wind rustled olive branches, the people of Athens would look up to the

people of Athens would look up to the Acropolis.

Acropolis. There in the moonlight stood her

There in the moonlight stood her temple. And though she was silent, they

temple. And though she was silent, they knew she was watching. Not with

knew she was watching. Not with judgment, but with

judgment, but with expectation. Because to be under

expectation. Because to be under Athena's protection was not just to be

Athena's protection was not just to be safe. It was to be challenged to become

safe. It was to be challenged to become something more. The birth of the twins,

something more. The birth of the twins, Apollo and Artemis, was not just the

Apollo and Artemis, was not just the arrival of two new gods. It was a

arrival of two new gods. It was a celestial event that shook both Olympus

celestial event that shook both Olympus and the mortal world. Born to the

and the mortal world. Born to the Titanus Leto after a grueling 9-day

Titanus Leto after a grueling 9-day labor and a lengthy game of divine keep

labor and a lengthy game of divine keep away orchestrated by Hera, these

away orchestrated by Hera, these siblings were destined to embody both

siblings were destined to embody both light and shadow, grace and

light and shadow, grace and vengeance. One would command the sun and

vengeance. One would command the sun and song, the other the moon and the hunt.

song, the other the moon and the hunt. And though their domains were beautiful,

And though their domains were beautiful, their wroth would prove

their wroth would prove legendary. Apollo emerged first,

legendary. Apollo emerged first, radiant, golden,

radiant, golden, charismatic. Even as a newborn, his eyes

charismatic. Even as a newborn, his eyes were said to gleam like sunrise over

were said to gleam like sunrise over calm seas. He was a god of many talents,

calm seas. He was a god of many talents, music, healing, prophecy, poetry, and

music, healing, prophecy, poetry, and less humbly, being correct at all times.

less humbly, being correct at all times. Artemis followed, calm and composed, her

Artemis followed, calm and composed, her silence sharper than any

silence sharper than any arrow. She was the guardian of wild

arrow. She was the guardian of wild things, the goddess of untamed forests,

things, the goddess of untamed forests, of childbirth, and of the perfect shot

of childbirth, and of the perfect shot taken without

taken without hesitation. Their childhood was brief.

hesitation. Their childhood was brief. As was customary for Greek gods, the

As was customary for Greek gods, the twins were given a few hours to admire

twins were given a few hours to admire infancy before reaching full maturity

infancy before reaching full maturity and heading off to chase monsters, smite

and heading off to chase monsters, smite arrogance, and cause occasional

arrogance, and cause occasional emotional

emotional turmoil. Apollo's first great act came

turmoil. Apollo's first great act came quickly. He remembered his mother's

quickly. He remembered his mother's suffering, how the monstrous serpent

suffering, how the monstrous serpent python sent by Hia had hounded Letto

python sent by Hia had hounded Letto across the lands. Now that he had limbs

across the lands. Now that he had limbs and divine authority, Apollo sought

and divine authority, Apollo sought revenge. He traveled to the base of

revenge. He traveled to the base of Mount Panasses, where Python slivered in

Mount Panasses, where Python slivered in his foul temple, oozing poison and

his foul temple, oozing poison and ancient

ancient spite. Armed with a silver bow gifted by

spite. Armed with a silver bow gifted by Hifistus, Apollo loosed arrow after

Hifistus, Apollo loosed arrow after arrow into the beast, each one whistling

arrow into the beast, each one whistling through the air like a divine

through the air like a divine accusation.

accusation. The creature howled and writhed, but the

The creature howled and writhed, but the god did not

god did not relent. By the time Python collapsed,

relent. By the time Python collapsed, the valley was silent. No bird dared

the valley was silent. No bird dared chirp. Where the serpent's body fell,

chirp. Where the serpent's body fell, Apollo erected a new temple, a place of

Apollo erected a new temple, a place of prophecy and insight to cleanse the

prophecy and insight to cleanse the stench of fear. This became the oracle

stench of fear. This became the oracle of Deli, the most sacred site in the

of Deli, the most sacred site in the ancient world. There, a priestess known

ancient world. There, a priestess known as the Pytheia would inhale vapors from

as the Pytheia would inhale vapors from a crack in the earth, enter a trance,

a crack in the earth, enter a trance, and speak Apollo's truths in

and speak Apollo's truths in riddles. Mortals came from every corner

riddles. Mortals came from every corner of Greece, desperate for answers, and

of Greece, desperate for answers, and many left even more confused, but in awe

many left even more confused, but in awe nonetheless. Apollo was radiant, yes,

nonetheless. Apollo was radiant, yes, but he was not gentle. Apollo's light

but he was not gentle. Apollo's light could warm the soul or burn it, and his

could warm the soul or burn it, and his affections, once ignited, were

affections, once ignited, were notoriously difficult to

notoriously difficult to extinguish. One day, while striding

extinguish. One day, while striding through the forest with his bow slung

through the forest with his bow slung over one shoulder and a smug grin under

over one shoulder and a smug grin under a crown of laurels, Apollo encountered

a crown of laurels, Apollo encountered Aeros, the god of love, more commonly

Aeros, the god of love, more commonly known as Cupid to the Romans.

known as Cupid to the Romans. Aeros was small, winged, and usually

Aeros was small, winged, and usually overlooked, which made him dangerously

overlooked, which made him dangerously easy to

easy to underestimate. Apollo, flushed with his

underestimate. Apollo, flushed with his recent victory over Python, and no

recent victory over Python, and no longer interested in humility, made a

longer interested in humility, made a remark. "Careful where you point that

remark. "Careful where you point that little toy balls," he said with a laugh.

little toy balls," he said with a laugh. "Leave real archery to the

"Leave real archery to the gods." Aeros did not laugh. Instead, he

gods." Aeros did not laugh. Instead, he reached for two arrows, one tipped in

reached for two arrows, one tipped in gold, kindling love, the other in lead,

gold, kindling love, the other in lead, snuffing it out. With calm precision, he

snuffing it out. With calm precision, he fired the golden arrow into Apollo's

fired the golden arrow into Apollo's chest and the lead one into the heart of

chest and the lead one into the heart of a nymph named Daphne, who had been

a nymph named Daphne, who had been minding her own business nearby. Unaware

minding her own business nearby. Unaware she was about to be pursued by a love

she was about to be pursued by a love struck god with the subtlety of a golden

struck god with the subtlety of a golden retriever.

retriever. Apollo's passion ignited

Apollo's passion ignited instantly. Daphne, struck with utter

instantly. Daphne, struck with utter revulsion, fled. What followed was a

revulsion, fled. What followed was a desperate and poetic chase. Through

desperate and poetic chase. Through meadows and over rivers, Apollo called

meadows and over rivers, Apollo called out declarations of love and sonnetss

out declarations of love and sonnetss mid-sprint, while Daphne barely looked

mid-sprint, while Daphne barely looked over her shoulder. She begged the river

over her shoulder. She begged the river god, her father, for salvation, and he

god, her father, for salvation, and he granted it, transforming her body into a

granted it, transforming her body into a laurel tree just as Apollo reached

laurel tree just as Apollo reached her. Apollo fell to his knees and wept,

her. Apollo fell to his knees and wept, pressing his hands to the bark, still

pressing his hands to the bark, still warm. To honor her, he declared the

warm. To honor her, he declared the laurel his sacred tree. From that moment

laurel his sacred tree. From that moment on, every poet, every victor, every

on, every poet, every victor, every crowned hero would wear a wreath of

crowned hero would wear a wreath of Daphne's leaves.

Daphne's leaves. a symbol of glory and a quiet reminder

a symbol of glory and a quiet reminder that some things do not want to be

that some things do not want to be caught. Artemis, for her part, was less

caught. Artemis, for her part, was less easily tricked. Fiercely independent and

easily tricked. Fiercely independent and eternally chased, she roamed forests

eternally chased, she roamed forests with her band of maiden huntresses, bow

with her band of maiden huntresses, bow in hand, hair unbound, and a deep

in hand, hair unbound, and a deep mistrust of anyone with a beard. Her

mistrust of anyone with a beard. Her wrath, though rare, was

wrath, though rare, was decisive. Take the story of Acton.

decisive. Take the story of Acton. One quiet afternoon, the young hunter

One quiet afternoon, the young hunter stumbled upon Artemis as she bathed in a

stumbled upon Artemis as she bathed in a secluded glade. His eyes widened, his

secluded glade. His eyes widened, his footsteps froze. He did not speak, did

footsteps froze. He did not speak, did not move, but it was too late. He had

not move, but it was too late. He had seen her, and she had seen him. With a

seen her, and she had seen him. With a single glare, Artemis transformed Acton

single glare, Artemis transformed Acton into a stag. Confused and frightened, he

into a stag. Confused and frightened, he fled, only to be pursued and torn apart

fled, only to be pursued and torn apart by his own hunting dogs, who failed to

by his own hunting dogs, who failed to recognize their

recognize their master. Artemus did not gloat. She did

master. Artemus did not gloat. She did not

not grin. She simply returned to the water

grin. She simply returned to the water untouched and

untouched and unrepentant. She was not cruel, but she

unrepentant. She was not cruel, but she was

was divine, and that meant she expected

divine, and that meant she expected respect without warning. their duality.

respect without warning. their duality. Apollo and Artemis shaped Greek fort in

Apollo and Artemis shaped Greek fort in subtle ways. He ruled the sun, she the

subtle ways. He ruled the sun, she the moon. He gave prophecy, she protected

moon. He gave prophecy, she protected birth. He punished through heat, she

birth. He punished through heat, she through silence. Together they were not

through silence. Together they were not opposites, but compliments, light and

opposites, but compliments, light and coolness, music and motion, fury and

coolness, music and motion, fury and form. Apollo's followers built grand

form. Apollo's followers built grand temples. Artemis' devotees left

temples. Artemis' devotees left offerings in forest groves, and both,

offerings in forest groves, and both, though loved, were feared, because both

though loved, were feared, because both demanded purity, one of intent, the

demanded purity, one of intent, the other of self, and both were reminders

other of self, and both were reminders that beauty, when paired with divinity,

that beauty, when paired with divinity, could be

could be devastating. Apollo's complexity only

devastating. Apollo's complexity only deepened over time. He could heal with

deepened over time. He could heal with one hand and curse with the other. When

one hand and curse with the other. When his sacred honor was violated or his

his sacred honor was violated or his pride bruised, he did not always choose

pride bruised, he did not always choose forgiveness. He once played a sata alive

forgiveness. He once played a sata alive for daring to challenge him to a music

for daring to challenge him to a music contest. Marius had played the flute

contest. Marius had played the flute with passion, but Apollo played the liar

with passion, but Apollo played the liar with

with perfection. The muses declared Apollo

perfection. The muses declared Apollo the winner. Marius, bound to a tree,

the winner. Marius, bound to a tree, declared it unfair.

declared it unfair. Apollo replied with silence, followed by

Apollo replied with silence, followed by skinning. Then there was Naobbi, queen

skinning. Then there was Naobbi, queen of thieves, who boasted of her many

of thieves, who boasted of her many children, some say 12, others 14, and

children, some say 12, others 14, and mocked Leto for having only two. She

mocked Leto for having only two. She forgot, of course, that Letto's two

forgot, of course, that Letto's two Artemis and Apollo, and that neither

Artemis and Apollo, and that neither sibling took criticism lightly.

sibling took criticism lightly. Descending like a storm, Apollo slew her

Descending like a storm, Apollo slew her sons. Artemis, her daughters. Only one

sons. Artemis, her daughters. Only one child was spared, depending on which

child was spared, depending on which poet you ask. Naobi, once proud and

poet you ask. Naobi, once proud and radiant, fled to Mount Cipilus, where

radiant, fled to Mount Cipilus, where she turned to stone. To this day, the

she turned to stone. To this day, the mountain is said to weep, tears running

mountain is said to weep, tears running down her face with every rainstorm. A

down her face with every rainstorm. A grief too deep for mortals, too

grief too deep for mortals, too justified for

justified for gods. And yet Apollo was not without

gods. And yet Apollo was not without mercy. He healed as much as he

mercy. He healed as much as he harmed. He protected the young inspired

harmed. He protected the young inspired musicians and whispered to

musicians and whispered to prophets. He had mortal lovers, male and

prophets. He had mortal lovers, male and female, whose ends were rarely happy,

female, whose ends were rarely happy, but whose memories lived in songs and

but whose memories lived in songs and statues. He was in essence a god of

statues. He was in essence a god of contradiction. Artemus too bore

contradiction. Artemus too bore contradictions. She aided women in

contradictions. She aided women in childbirth, but demanded their silence

childbirth, but demanded their silence in her forests.

in her forests. She blessed the hunt, but protected

She blessed the hunt, but protected animals from senseless

animals from senseless cruelty. She loathed men's advances, yet

cruelty. She loathed men's advances, yet often watched over them from the trees.

often watched over them from the trees. A stern guardian, yes, but also a quiet

A stern guardian, yes, but also a quiet comfort to those who walked alone at

comfort to those who walked alone at night. Mortals feared them, not because

night. Mortals feared them, not because they were cruel, but because they were

they were cruel, but because they were too vast to understand.

too vast to understand. You might earn Apollo's favor with a

You might earn Apollo's favor with a melody or his rough with a wrong

melody or his rough with a wrong note. You might cross Artemis' path and

note. You might cross Artemis' path and be blessed with safe travels or end up

be blessed with safe travels or end up as a cautionary myth told around

as a cautionary myth told around campfires. And yet, for all their power,

campfires. And yet, for all their power, there was a strange and tender bond

there was a strange and tender bond between the twins. In a pantheon where

between the twins. In a pantheon where siblings often plotted and poisoned,

siblings often plotted and poisoned, Apollo and Artemis remained close.

Apollo and Artemis remained close. When one grieved, the other grew silent.

When one grieved, the other grew silent. When one triumphed, the other smiled.

When one triumphed, the other smiled. They were two halves of a divine whole.

They were two halves of a divine whole. Sun and moon, prophecy and instinct,

Sun and moon, prophecy and instinct, fury and grace. Together they reminded

fury and grace. Together they reminded mortals of

mortals of this. Beauty does not equal

this. Beauty does not equal safety. And power, no matter how

safety. And power, no matter how radiant, always comes with a shadow. The

radiant, always comes with a shadow. The age of gods was never truly quiet, but

age of gods was never truly quiet, but for a time it seemed as though the world

for a time it seemed as though the world had found its rhythm. The Olympians

had found its rhythm. The Olympians ruled from above. The seasons turned.

ruled from above. The seasons turned. Mortals offered their sacrifices with

Mortals offered their sacrifices with trembling fingers and hopeful

trembling fingers and hopeful eyes. And yet, for all this balance,

eyes. And yet, for all this balance, there was something brewing, a slow,

there was something brewing, a slow, sullen rot beneath the rituals and

sullen rot beneath the rituals and hymns. Humanity, it turned out, was

hymns. Humanity, it turned out, was beginning to

beginning to misbehave. They had once been golden,

misbehave. They had once been golden, literally. The first humans, crafted by

literally. The first humans, crafted by the gods, lived in harmony. They spoke

the gods, lived in harmony. They spoke in song, shared their harvests, and

in song, shared their harvests, and never locked their doors. There were no

never locked their doors. There were no wars, no greed, no

wars, no greed, no taxes. But the golden age, like most

taxes. But the golden age, like most good things in myth, did not last. What

good things in myth, did not last. What followed was the silver age, a time of

followed was the silver age, a time of decline. The new men were longer of

decline. The new men were longer of limb, but shorter of temper. They

limb, but shorter of temper. They ignored the gods, bickered over sheep,

ignored the gods, bickered over sheep, and built walls around their

and built walls around their homes. The silver age saw the rise of

homes. The silver age saw the rise of pride without purpose, of labor without

pride without purpose, of labor without love. They lived longer, but not better.

love. They lived longer, but not better. Then came the bronze age. And if silver

Then came the bronze age. And if silver had been a disappointment, bronze was a

had been a disappointment, bronze was a full-blown

full-blown crisis. Men forged weapons, not plows,

crisis. Men forged weapons, not plows, not liars, not tools, but blades. They

not liars, not tools, but blades. They carved armor from metal and turned their

carved armor from metal and turned their eyes to

eyes to conquest. Villages became

conquest. Villages became fortresses. Brothers quarreled over

fortresses. Brothers quarreled over borders. Worship faded. Altars crumbled,

borders. Worship faded. Altars crumbled, and the prayers that once rose like

and the prayers that once rose like incense now rang hollow, if they came at

incense now rang hollow, if they came at all. Zeus watched all of this from

all. Zeus watched all of this from Olympus. He had seen mortals at their

Olympus. He had seen mortals at their finest, humble, joyous,

finest, humble, joyous, curious. And now he saw them drunk on

curious. And now he saw them drunk on their own strength, stumbling into

their own strength, stumbling into cruelty with alarming

cruelty with alarming creativity. It was not just the

creativity. It was not just the fighting, it was the forgetting. They

fighting, it was the forgetting. They had forgotten who gave them breath. And

had forgotten who gave them breath. And Zeus famously did not enjoy being

Zeus famously did not enjoy being forgotten.

forgotten. He considered

He considered thunderbolts. A few well-placed strikes

thunderbolts. A few well-placed strikes to remind them of the sky wrath, but

to remind them of the sky wrath, but bolts were brief and the corruption ran

bolts were brief and the corruption ran deep. This was not a matter of

deep. This was not a matter of punishment. It was a matter of

punishment. It was a matter of cleansing. So he called upon his brother

cleansing. So he called upon his brother Poseidon. Flood them, Zeus said. And

Poseidon. Flood them, Zeus said. And Poseidon, always eager to stretch his

Poseidon, always eager to stretch his shoulders and swing a trident, agreed.

shoulders and swing a trident, agreed. Poseidon stepped into the ocean, raised

Poseidon stepped into the ocean, raised his trident, and drove it deep into the

his trident, and drove it deep into the seafloor. The earth groaned, waves rose,

seafloor. The earth groaned, waves rose, clouds gathered, heavy and black. Rain

clouds gathered, heavy and black. Rain began to fall, slow at first, like

began to fall, slow at first, like uncertain tears. And then all at once,

uncertain tears. And then all at once, rivers swelled, lakes spilled. The sea

rivers swelled, lakes spilled. The sea forgot its borders. Hills disappeared

forgot its borders. Hills disappeared beneath churning gray. People ran,

beneath churning gray. People ran, climbed, prayed, some to the gods they

climbed, prayed, some to the gods they had ignored for years, others to the sky

had ignored for years, others to the sky itself, not knowing who to beg. It did

itself, not knowing who to beg. It did not matter. The water rose all the same.

not matter. The water rose all the same. Temples collapsed. Forests vanished. The

Temples collapsed. Forests vanished. The cities of men, once loud with pride,

cities of men, once loud with pride, fell

fell silent. Statues of marble gods were

silent. Statues of marble gods were washed away, leaving only the stones

washed away, leaving only the stones they had been carved from. And above it

they had been carved from. And above it all, the rain kept falling. In the midst

all, the rain kept falling. In the midst of this watery undoing, two souls

of this watery undoing, two souls survived. Ducallion and Pira. Ducalon

survived. Ducallion and Pira. Ducalon was the son of Prometheus, the Titan who

was the son of Prometheus, the Titan who had shaped man from clay and defied Zeus

had shaped man from clay and defied Zeus to bring them

to bring them fire. Pira was the daughter of

fire. Pira was the daughter of Epimetheus and Pandora, the first woman.

Epimetheus and Pandora, the first woman. She who had once opened a box and

She who had once opened a box and released every sorrow upon the world,

released every sorrow upon the world, leaving only hope

leaving only hope inside. Together the two watched the sea

inside. Together the two watched the sea swallow the world. But they were not

swallow the world. But they were not taken. Prometheus, forever one step

taken. Prometheus, forever one step ahead, had warned his son. And so

ahead, had warned his son. And so Ducallian and Pir built a wooden chest,

Ducallian and Pir built a wooden chest, not large, not elegant, but sealed

not large, not elegant, but sealed tight. As the waters surged, they

tight. As the waters surged, they climbed inside and held on. Days passed,

climbed inside and held on. Days passed, maybe

maybe weeks. Time blurred in the endless gray.

weeks. Time blurred in the endless gray. The world was a sea without horizon, and

The world was a sea without horizon, and the sky offered no answers. But the

the sky offered no answers. But the chest floated, bobbing between ruin and

chest floated, bobbing between ruin and rebirth. Eventually, the waters began to

rebirth. Eventually, the waters began to recede. The rains weakened, and the sea,

recede. The rains weakened, and the sea, tired of its rage, drew back. The chest

tired of its rage, drew back. The chest bumped gently against something solid.

bumped gently against something solid. Stone, ancient and still, Mount

Stone, ancient and still, Mount Parnasses. Ducallian stepped out first,

Parnasses. Ducallian stepped out first, barefoot on damp rock. Pira followed,

barefoot on damp rock. Pira followed, blinking against the pale light. Around

blinking against the pale light. Around them was silence. Not the hush of night,

them was silence. Not the hush of night, but the stunned quiet of a world

but the stunned quiet of a world reborn. They were the only ones left.

reborn. They were the only ones left. For a long time, Ducallian and Pira said

For a long time, Ducallian and Pira said nothing. They wandered the wet stones in

nothing. They wandered the wet stones in silence, stepping over driftwood and

silence, stepping over driftwood and fragments of old

fragments of old lives, broken pots, drowned sandals. A

lives, broken pots, drowned sandals. A child's doll waterlogged and resting in

child's doll waterlogged and resting in a

a crevice. The weight of being the only

crevice. The weight of being the only living souls pressed down on them harder

living souls pressed down on them harder than the flood ever had. They were not

than the flood ever had. They were not survivors. They were witnesses.

survivors. They were witnesses. Eventually, they climbed higher up the

Eventually, they climbed higher up the mountain and built a small fire. Smoke

mountain and built a small fire. Smoke rose, curling into the pale sky like a

rose, curling into the pale sky like a question mark with no sentence to

question mark with no sentence to follow. Now what? Pira whispered. It was

follow. Now what? Pira whispered. It was the right question, not just for them,

the right question, not just for them, but for the gods as well. Ducallion and

but for the gods as well. Ducallion and Pira prayed not to Zeus, who had done

Pira prayed not to Zeus, who had done the flooding, but to Theis, the

the flooding, but to Theis, the tightness of divine law and prophecy,

tightness of divine law and prophecy, older than Olympus, and perhaps more

older than Olympus, and perhaps more compassionate. They begged her to tell

compassionate. They begged her to tell them how to restore the

them how to restore the world. The answer came not with thunder,

world. The answer came not with thunder, but with

but with stillness. A voice drifted to them in

stillness. A voice drifted to them in the wind. Cover your heads, walk down

the wind. Cover your heads, walk down the mountain, and cast the bones of your

the mountain, and cast the bones of your mother behind you. Cryptic as prophecies

mother behind you. Cryptic as prophecies tend to be. At first they hesitated,

tend to be. At first they hesitated, their mother was long gone, buried

their mother was long gone, buried beneath waves or time. But then Ducallon

beneath waves or time. But then Ducallon understood. Mother was Gia, the earth,

understood. Mother was Gia, the earth, and her bones stones.

and her bones stones. So they gathered stones in trembling

So they gathered stones in trembling hands, veiled their heads with wet

hands, veiled their heads with wet cloaks, and began to walk. One by one

cloaks, and began to walk. One by one they cast the stones behind them. And

they cast the stones behind them. And where those stones struck the earth,

where those stones struck the earth, they softened and shifted. The ones

they softened and shifted. The ones thrown by Ducallion took shape as men,

thrown by Ducallion took shape as men, broadshouldered, sun darkened. The ones

broadshouldered, sun darkened. The ones thrown by Pira became women, strongeyed,

thrown by Pira became women, strongeyed, and quiet. Humanity version two. This

and quiet. Humanity version two. This new race was not golden. They did not

new race was not golden. They did not glow, but they were durable. And they

glow, but they were durable. And they remembered. They built cautiously, loved

remembered. They built cautiously, loved fiercely, and when they told stories

fiercely, and when they told stories around the fire, they always began with

around the fire, they always began with water. It was not a perfect world, but

water. It was not a perfect world, but it was a second chance. Above them, the

it was a second chance. Above them, the gods watched. Zeus, satisfied that the

gods watched. Zeus, satisfied that the rot had been washed away, turned his

rot had been washed away, turned his gaze elsewhere. Poseidon let the sea

gaze elsewhere. Poseidon let the sea settle, and Theis perhaps allowed

settle, and Theis perhaps allowed herself the faintest smile. The flood

herself the faintest smile. The flood had not just erased. It had planted

had not just erased. It had planted something, something hard, humble, and

something, something hard, humble, and human. In the end, the world did not

human. In the end, the world did not roar back to life. It crept. It

roar back to life. It crept. It breathed. A blade of grass, a bird's

breathed. A blade of grass, a bird's call, the first stubborn flower pushing

call, the first stubborn flower pushing through

through silt. And somewhere on Mount Parnasses,

silt. And somewhere on Mount Parnasses, two figures held each other beside a

two figures held each other beside a dying fire, the last and first of their

dying fire, the last and first of their kind. They had not rebuilt a

kind. They had not rebuilt a kingdom. They had restarted a heartbeat,

kingdom. They had restarted a heartbeat, but survival, as Ducallian and Pira soon

but survival, as Ducallian and Pira soon discovered, was only the beginning. The

discovered, was only the beginning. The new world they inherited was not gentle.

new world they inherited was not gentle. The soil, though rich, was

The soil, though rich, was unfamiliar. The winds carried the scent

unfamiliar. The winds carried the scent of salt and memory.

of salt and memory. Every step they took stirred echoes, of

Every step they took stirred echoes, of temples lost, of voices drowned, of

temples lost, of voices drowned, of laughter once carried by bustling

laughter once carried by bustling streets now gone. Even the sun seemed

streets now gone. Even the sun seemed quieter, as though it too was grieving.

quieter, as though it too was grieving. Their first nights were

Their first nights were sleepless. Every creek of wind over

sleepless. Every creek of wind over stone, every splash of a distant stream

stone, every splash of a distant stream reminded them of the flood, of the

reminded them of the flood, of the silence it left behind.

silence it left behind. They lit fires not just for warmth, but

They lit fires not just for warmth, but to remind themselves that life,

to remind themselves that life, flickering and fragile, was still

flickering and fragile, was still burning. They spoke in low voices, as if

burning. They spoke in low voices, as if afraid to disturb the hush. And when

afraid to disturb the hush. And when they began to plant, to shape clay, to

they began to plant, to shape clay, to build crude walls from mud and memory,

build crude walls from mud and memory, they did so with

they did so with reverence, as if the earth might reject

reverence, as if the earth might reject them again if they rushed.

them again if they rushed. The gods did not speak often after that.

The gods did not speak often after that. They had made their point, and perhaps

They had made their point, and perhaps that was for the best. This time the

that was for the best. This time the world would be shaped more by mortal

world would be shaped more by mortal hands than divine

hands than divine ones. Still, the people who rose from

ones. Still, the people who rose from the stones carried a kind of wisdom, one

the stones carried a kind of wisdom, one passed not through scrolls or speeches,

passed not through scrolls or speeches, but through the sheer weight of

but through the sheer weight of survival.

survival. They did not forget

They did not forget easily. When they built altars, they

easily. When they built altars, they placed them far from their

placed them far from their homes. When they told stories, they

homes. When they told stories, they lingered on the

lingered on the mistakes. They honored hope, but they

mistakes. They honored hope, but they never trusted it blindly again. And in

never trusted it blindly again. And in time, the new world began to sing again.

time, the new world began to sing again. Different songs, lower, softer, sung by

Different songs, lower, softer, sung by fire light rather than shouted in

fire light rather than shouted in temples. Songs of gratitude. Songs of

temples. Songs of gratitude. Songs of warning. Songs that told of a time when

warning. Songs that told of a time when the sky opened and washed the world

the sky opened and washed the world clean. Not out of cruelty, but because

clean. Not out of cruelty, but because it had no other choice. Not every battle

it had no other choice. Not every battle in Greek myth was fought by gods. Some,

in Greek myth was fought by gods. Some, strangely enough, were left to

strangely enough, were left to mortals. Men with mortal bones and very

mortals. Men with mortal bones and very mortal fears, handed impossible tasks by

mortal fears, handed impossible tasks by those who lived above clouds.

those who lived above clouds. And yet they

And yet they fought not for glory though some claim

fought not for glory though some claim that not for fame though that too would

that not for fame though that too would come but often out of necessity because

come but often out of necessity because the gods asked or a kingdom needed

the gods asked or a kingdom needed saving or there simply wasn't anyone

saving or there simply wasn't anyone else

else available. The first of these is

available. The first of these is Perseus. He was born of prophecy like so

Perseus. He was born of prophecy like so many unfortunate heroes. His mother,

many unfortunate heroes. His mother, Dana, had been locked in a tower by her

Dana, had been locked in a tower by her father after a sear foretold that her

father after a sear foretold that her son would one day kill him. Zeus, ever

son would one day kill him. Zeus, ever the enthusiast for inconvenient romance,

the enthusiast for inconvenient romance, visited her in the form of golden rain.

visited her in the form of golden rain. Yes, rain. It's best not to ask

Yes, rain. It's best not to ask questions about that. In time, Perseus

questions about that. In time, Perseus was born, and his grandfather not

was born, and his grandfather not thrilled with either prophecy or divine

thrilled with either prophecy or divine weather patterns. Had mother and son

weather patterns. Had mother and son cast into the sea inside a wooden chest.

cast into the sea inside a wooden chest. The chest washed ashore, as they tend to

The chest washed ashore, as they tend to do in these stories, and Perseus grew up

do in these stories, and Perseus grew up among fishermen, strong and kind, and

among fishermen, strong and kind, and altogether too promising to stay

altogether too promising to stay anonymous for long. The trouble came

anonymous for long. The trouble came when a local king enamored with Da

when a local king enamored with Da demanded Perseus bring him the head of

demanded Perseus bring him the head of Medusa, one of the three Gorgon

Medusa, one of the three Gorgon sisters. Medusa, of course, was no

sisters. Medusa, of course, was no ordinary

ordinary monster. Her gaze could turn any man to

monster. Her gaze could turn any man to stone, and her hair was a writhing nest

stone, and her hair was a writhing nest of living

of living snakes. You would think this would be

snakes. You would think this would be enough to put off most people. Perseus,

enough to put off most people. Perseus, unfortunately, was not most people.

unfortunately, was not most people. Perseus did not go alone. The gods, ever

Perseus did not go alone. The gods, ever partial to bold narratives, sent aid.

partial to bold narratives, sent aid. Hermes gave him winged sandals so he

Hermes gave him winged sandals so he might fly. Hades lent him a helmet of

might fly. Hades lent him a helmet of invisibility, which feels suspiciously

invisibility, which feels suspiciously generous for someone known more for

generous for someone known more for brooding than

brooding than charity. Athena, of course, offered

charity. Athena, of course, offered guidance and a polished shield, smooth

guidance and a polished shield, smooth and reflective like a still pond. And so

and reflective like a still pond. And so Perseus flew, unseen, armed with divine

Perseus flew, unseen, armed with divine tools, into the realm where Medusa

tools, into the realm where Medusa slept. He did not look at her. He

slept. He did not look at her. He watched her reflection in the shield,

watched her reflection in the shield, crept forward, and with a single motion

crept forward, and with a single motion severed her head. From her blood sprang

severed her head. From her blood sprang Pegasus, the winged horse, and a giant

Pegasus, the winged horse, and a giant named

named Chrysa. It was that kind of story. Heads

Chrysa. It was that kind of story. Heads could be entire ecosystems.

could be entire ecosystems. Perseus placed the head in a sack,

Perseus placed the head in a sack, careful not to make eye contact even

careful not to make eye contact even postmortem. On his way home, he

postmortem. On his way home, he encountered a princess named Andromeda,

encountered a princess named Andromeda, chained to a rock as an offering to a

chained to a rock as an offering to a sea

sea monster. He saved her, of course,

monster. He saved her, of course, slaying the beast and marrying the

slaying the beast and marrying the princess in what must have been an

princess in what must have been an extremely awkward reception given the

extremely awkward reception given the dampness and snake related luggage.

dampness and snake related luggage. In the end, Perseus returned

In the end, Perseus returned victorious. He used Medusa's head to

victorious. He used Medusa's head to turn his enemies to stone, including

turn his enemies to stone, including that same king who had sent him off in

that same king who had sent him off in the first place. As for the prophecy, it

the first place. As for the prophecy, it fulfilled itself, as they tend to do.

fulfilled itself, as they tend to do. Perseus accidentally struck his

Perseus accidentally struck his grandfather dead during a sporting

grandfather dead during a sporting event, which is precisely why no oracle

event, which is precisely why no oracle should ever be allowed near a javelin.

should ever be allowed near a javelin. If Perseus was the prototype hero,

If Perseus was the prototype hero, Heracles, better known by his Roman

Heracles, better known by his Roman name, Hercules, was the overbuilt

name, Hercules, was the overbuilt sequel. His story begins with rage and

sequel. His story begins with rage and repentance. After being driven mad by

repentance. After being driven mad by her, Heracles killed his wife and

her, Heracles killed his wife and children. To atone, he was given a list.

children. To atone, he was given a list. 12 labors, each more impossible than the

12 labors, each more impossible than the last.

last. The first task was to slave a Namian

The first task was to slave a Namian lion, a beast with a hide so tough no

lion, a beast with a hide so tough no blade could pierce it. Heracles,

blade could pierce it. Heracles, practical as ever, eventually wrestled

practical as ever, eventually wrestled the creature bare-handed, strangling it

the creature bare-handed, strangling it to death and skinning it with its own

to death and skinning it with its own claws. From then on, he wore the pelt as

claws. From then on, he wore the pelt as a cloak, a sort of heroic bathrobe that

a cloak, a sort of heroic bathrobe that screamed, "Do not disturb."

screamed, "Do not disturb." Next came the Lana Hydra, a serpent with

Next came the Lana Hydra, a serpent with multiple heads that regrrew double

multiple heads that regrrew double whenever one was cut. A poor choice for

whenever one was cut. A poor choice for sword

sword play. Heracles, with the help of his

play. Heracles, with the help of his nephew, Iolaus discovered the trick.

nephew, Iolaus discovered the trick. Sear the stumps with fire before the

Sear the stumps with fire before the heads could

heads could regenerate. The battle was long, the

regenerate. The battle was long, the smell appalling, but the monster fell.

smell appalling, but the monster fell. Then there was the Keranian hind, a

Then there was the Keranian hind, a golden deer so swift it could outrun

golden deer so swift it could outrun arrows. Heracles chased it for a year,

arrows. Heracles chased it for a year, yes, a year, before gently capturing

yes, a year, before gently capturing it. This, more than anything, speaks to

it. This, more than anything, speaks to his endurance and perhaps his patience

his endurance and perhaps his patience with bureaucracy.

with bureaucracy. Other tasks involved a monstrous boar, a

Other tasks involved a monstrous boar, a flock of man-eating birds, cleaning the

flock of man-eating birds, cleaning the Orgian stables in a single day, which he

Orgian stables in a single day, which he did by r-rooting a river, and capturing

did by r-rooting a river, and capturing various horrors, including a wild bull,

various horrors, including a wild bull, man-eating mares, and a three-headed dog

man-eating mares, and a three-headed dog named

named Cberus. Each labor was more than a feat

Cberus. Each labor was more than a feat of strength.

of strength. It was a test of will, cunning, and

It was a test of will, cunning, and occasionally

occasionally negotiation. By the time Heracles

negotiation. By the time Heracles completed them all, he had become

completed them all, he had become something more than mortal. Not yet a

something more than mortal. Not yet a god, but no longer just a man. His story

god, but no longer just a man. His story was full of suffering, but also of

was full of suffering, but also of endurance. He made mistakes, tremendous

endurance. He made mistakes, tremendous ones, but was given a path to

ones, but was given a path to redemption.

redemption. In that way, Heracles became a kind of

In that way, Heracles became a kind of mirror, not of perfection, but of

mirror, not of perfection, but of struggle. And then there was Thesius.

struggle. And then there was Thesius. His story, unlike Heracles grand ark of

His story, unlike Heracles grand ark of redemption, began with a simple identity

redemption, began with a simple identity crisis. Raised away from his father, the

crisis. Raised away from his father, the king of Athens, Thesius grew up not

king of Athens, Thesius grew up not knowing his true heritage.

knowing his true heritage. When he came of age, he lifted a stone

When he came of age, he lifted a stone under which lay a sword and sandals,

under which lay a sword and sandals, left there by his father as proof of

left there by his father as proof of lineage. With a sense of purpose and a

lineage. With a sense of purpose and a suspiciously fast learning curve, he set

suspiciously fast learning curve, he set off for Athens, clearing the road of

off for Athens, clearing the road of bandits as he

bandits as he went. It was a sort of mythological

went. It was a sort of mythological resume building. But the real test came

resume building. But the real test came with the Minotaur.

with the Minotaur. Every nine years, Athens was forced to

Every nine years, Athens was forced to send seven young men and seven young

send seven young men and seven young women to Cree as tribute, payment for a

women to Cree as tribute, payment for a past war and a bitter peace. They were

past war and a bitter peace. They were fed to the Minotaur, a creature half

fed to the Minotaur, a creature half man, half bull, who lived in a labyrinth

man, half bull, who lived in a labyrinth so complex even the architect got lost

so complex even the architect got lost drawing it. Thesius volunteered to go.

drawing it. Thesius volunteered to go. When he arrived in Cree, he caught the

When he arrived in Cree, he caught the eye of Ariadne, daughter of King Minos.

eye of Ariadne, daughter of King Minos. She gave him two things, a sword and a

She gave him two things, a sword and a ball of string. The string, more than

ball of string. The string, more than the blade, was the key. These tied it at

the blade, was the key. These tied it at the entrance and spooled it behind him

the entrance and spooled it behind him as he moved deeper into the maze. When

as he moved deeper into the maze. When he found the minotaur, he fought not

he found the minotaur, he fought not with brute force, but with

with brute force, but with precision. And when the beast fell,

precision. And when the beast fell, Thesius followed the string back into

Thesius followed the string back into daylight. The monster was slain. the

daylight. The monster was slain. the tribute would

tribute would end. But the story doesn't stop there.

end. But the story doesn't stop there. Thesius sailed away with

Thesius sailed away with Ariadne, only to abandon her on a

Ariadne, only to abandon her on a deserted

deserted island, for reasons the myths gloss over

island, for reasons the myths gloss over with uncomfortable speed. He returned

with uncomfortable speed. He returned home triumphant, but forgot to swap his

home triumphant, but forgot to swap his ship's black sails for white, as he had

ship's black sails for white, as he had promised. His father watching from the

promised. His father watching from the cliffs saw the dark sails and believed

cliffs saw the dark sails and believed his son was dead. In grief he threw

his son was dead. In grief he threw himself into the sea. And so Thesius

himself into the sea. And so Thesius became king. Not by defeating a beast,

became king. Not by defeating a beast, but by forgetting a promise. What bound

but by forgetting a promise. What bound these heroes together was not just

these heroes together was not just strength or lineage. It was the simple

strength or lineage. It was the simple fact that they tried again and again

fact that they tried again and again despite fear, despite failure, despite

despite fear, despite failure, despite the god's habit of moving the goalposts

the god's habit of moving the goalposts midquest. Perseus fought with borrowed

midquest. Perseus fought with borrowed tools. Heracles with the weight of guilt

tools. Heracles with the weight of guilt on his back. Thesius, for all his

on his back. Thesius, for all his cunning, still lost things he didn't

cunning, still lost things he didn't mean to. They were not perfect. They

mean to. They were not perfect. They were not meant to be. Their greatness

were not meant to be. Their greatness came not from being flawless, but from

came not from being flawless, but from facing the impossible

facing the impossible anyway. They did not slay monsters

anyway. They did not slay monsters because it was easy. They did it because

because it was easy. They did it because someone had to. And when their stories

someone had to. And when their stories were told, it wasn't the victories

were told, it wasn't the victories people remembered most. It was the cost,

people remembered most. It was the cost, the loss, the quiet moments after. And

the loss, the quiet moments after. And that perhaps is what makes the old

that perhaps is what makes the old heroes linger. Not just in marble or ink

heroes linger. Not just in marble or ink or stars, but in the way we still tell

or stars, but in the way we still tell their tales. In every story of courage

their tales. In every story of courage and flaw, in every moment where a person

and flaw, in every moment where a person chooses to face what they fear, even

chooses to face what they fear, even when they are afraid, because the

when they are afraid, because the monsters were never just monsters. They

monsters were never just monsters. They were fear and grief and guilt, things no

were fear and grief and guilt, things no sword can truly slay. And yet someone

sword can truly slay. And yet someone always tries. So sleep now with the

always tries. So sleep now with the knowledge that you don't have to be a

knowledge that you don't have to be a god to be

god to be brave. You don't have to wear lion skins

brave. You don't have to wear lion skins or hold golden

or hold golden shields. You just have to keep walking

shields. You just have to keep walking even through the

even through the labyrinth. Even when you forget to

labyrinth. Even when you forget to change the

change the sails, especially then. In the

sails, especially then. In the beginning, the gods created man and

beginning, the gods created man and monsters and storms and envy and fire.

monsters and storms and envy and fire. But long before heroes raised swords or

But long before heroes raised swords or lovers whispered beneath moonlight,

lovers whispered beneath moonlight, there were the fates. Three sisters who

there were the fates. Three sisters who wo, measured, and cut the threads of

wo, measured, and cut the threads of every life. Even the gods in their

every life. Even the gods in their shimmering power could not ignore them.

shimmering power could not ignore them. Clo, the youngest, spun each soul into

Clo, the youngest, spun each soul into being with fingers as gentle as they

being with fingers as gentle as they were

were absolute. She twirled the threads of

absolute. She twirled the threads of life from a distaff of

life from a distaff of mystery. Her spindle ever turning, ever

mystery. Her spindle ever turning, ever singing. Leisus, the middle sister, took

singing. Leisus, the middle sister, took those threads and measured them. How

those threads and measured them. How long? How strong? How

long? How strong? How entangled? She never smiled, but her

entangled? She never smiled, but her eyes gleamed with quiet knowing.

eyes gleamed with quiet knowing. And Atropos, the eldest and sternest,

And Atropos, the eldest and sternest, held the shears. When she cut the

held the shears. When she cut the thread, it was final. They did not

thread, it was final. They did not argue. They did not bargain. Not even

argue. They did not bargain. Not even Zeus could persuade Atropos to wait. If

Zeus could persuade Atropos to wait. If she snipped, the story ended. And so it

she snipped, the story ended. And so it was

was understood. Fate was not a punishment or

understood. Fate was not a punishment or reward, but a truth woven long before a

reward, but a truth woven long before a cradle was rocked or a war was waged.

cradle was rocked or a war was waged. Yet in this world of threads and

Yet in this world of threads and thunderbolts, love still managed to make

thunderbolts, love still managed to make a mess of things. One of its most famous

a mess of things. One of its most famous casualties was a boy named

casualties was a boy named Narcissus. He was beautiful, so

Narcissus. He was beautiful, so beautiful that entire cities paused to

beautiful that entire cities paused to watch him pass. He had the kind of face

watch him pass. He had the kind of face poets retire over, the kind of hair that

poets retire over, the kind of hair that made gods consider taking up hobbies.

made gods consider taking up hobbies. But beauty, untempered, often curdles

But beauty, untempered, often curdles into

into arrogance. And Narcissus had no interest

arrogance. And Narcissus had no interest in the hearts he broke. He waved them

in the hearts he broke. He waved them off like dandelion

off like dandelion seeds. Among the many who fell for him

seeds. Among the many who fell for him was a nymph named

was a nymph named Ekko. Ekko had once been a chatterbox,

Ekko. Ekko had once been a chatterbox, loved by all for her voice until she

loved by all for her voice until she crossed the wrong goddess.

crossed the wrong goddess. Heraer, ever suspicious and rarely

Heraer, ever suspicious and rarely wrong, cursed her to repeat only the

wrong, cursed her to repeat only the last words spoken to her. Ekko could no

last words spoken to her. Ekko could no longer start a conversation, only mirror

longer start a conversation, only mirror one. A strange sentence for someone who

one. A strange sentence for someone who had so much to

had so much to say. Still, she watched Narcissus from

say. Still, she watched Narcissus from the trees, her love growing with every

the trees, her love growing with every passing glance.

passing glance. One day when he wandered into her woods,

One day when he wandered into her woods, she tried to approach, but of course

she tried to approach, but of course when he called out, "Is anyone there?"

when he called out, "Is anyone there?" All she could answer was, "There." He

All she could answer was, "There." He turned, frowning. "Come to me." "To me,"

turned, frowning. "Come to me." "To me," she echoed, stepping forward. He

she echoed, stepping forward. He recoiled. "Leave me be." "May me be,"

recoiled. "Leave me be." "May me be," she whispered as though cursing herself.

she whispered as though cursing herself. And when he walked away, Ekko wilted

And when he walked away, Ekko wilted like a flower without

like a flower without sunlight. She faded until only her voice

sunlight. She faded until only her voice remained, haunting valleys and caves,

remained, haunting valleys and caves, repeating the words of others with no

repeating the words of others with no thoughts of her own. Some say she still

thoughts of her own. Some say she still speaks, waiting for someone to say

speaks, waiting for someone to say something worth

something worth remembering. But Narcissus would not go

remembering. But Narcissus would not go unpunished.

unpunished. The goddess nemesis, vengeance in a

The goddess nemesis, vengeance in a flowing gown, saw his cruelty and

flowing gown, saw his cruelty and decided he would learn what it meant to

decided he would learn what it meant to long without

long without answer. She led him to a still pool

answer. She led him to a still pool where he leaned down to drink. There he

where he leaned down to drink. There he saw a face, flawless, tragic, and

saw a face, flawless, tragic, and entirely his. He reached for it, the

entirely his. He reached for it, the reflection rippled. He smiled, thinking

reflection rippled. He smiled, thinking at Koi. Day after day, he returned to

at Koi. Day after day, he returned to the pool, unable to look away. In time

the pool, unable to look away. In time he withered. In the place where he had

he withered. In the place where he had knelt, bloomed a delicate white flower,

knelt, bloomed a delicate white flower, the

the Narcissus. Ekko, for all her fading,

Narcissus. Ekko, for all her fading, never lost her

never lost her tenderness. Even as her body dissolved

tenderness. Even as her body dissolved into mist, her presence lingered in the

into mist, her presence lingered in the lonely places among the cliffs, in

lonely places among the cliffs, in forest glades, beneath bridges where the

forest glades, beneath bridges where the world hums

world hums softly. Children called out to hear her.

softly. Children called out to hear her. travelers shouted just to feel less

travelers shouted just to feel less alone. And in those moments she

alone. And in those moments she answered, not because she hoped to be

answered, not because she hoped to be heard, but because some part of her

heard, but because some part of her still loved the sound of voices in the

still loved the sound of voices in the air. Narcissus, meanwhile, became more

air. Narcissus, meanwhile, became more than a boy with good cheekbones and bad

than a boy with good cheekbones and bad manners. His name turned into a warning,

manners. His name turned into a warning, a mirror held to anyone who loved their

a mirror held to anyone who loved their own reflection a little too much.

own reflection a little too much. He was not remembered for his beauty,

He was not remembered for his beauty, but for the way it undid him. For how

but for the way it undid him. For how stillness can become a trap. For how

stillness can become a trap. For how longing, left unchecked, curls

longing, left unchecked, curls inward. Not all love stories in Greek

inward. Not all love stories in Greek myth ended in madness or ruin. Some,

myth ended in madness or ruin. Some, though strange, carried a kind of

though strange, carried a kind of wistful magic.

wistful magic. Pymonalon was a sculptor, a quiet man

Pymonalon was a sculptor, a quiet man who found people too loud, too flawed,

who found people too loud, too flawed, too

too complicated. So he stopped seeking love

complicated. So he stopped seeking love in the market stalls and began to carve

in the market stalls and began to carve it from stone. He worked for days, then

it from stone. He worked for days, then weeks, then months, shaping his perfect

weeks, then months, shaping his perfect woman from marble, eyes soft but

woman from marble, eyes soft but unblinking, lips poised but silent. And

unblinking, lips poised but silent. And when he finished, he was ruined because

when he finished, he was ruined because she was beautiful. Too beautiful. And

she was beautiful. Too beautiful. And she didn't argue or forget or look away.

she didn't argue or forget or look away. Pigon brought her gifts, flowers, cloth,

Pigon brought her gifts, flowers, cloth, even jewels he could barely afford. He

even jewels he could barely afford. He whispered to her, touched her hand,

whispered to her, touched her hand, slept beside the statue, dreaming of

slept beside the statue, dreaming of warmth. He had not built a muse, he had

warmth. He had not built a muse, he had built a longing.

built a longing. Aphrodite, who knew the patterns of

Aphrodite, who knew the patterns of desire like a familiar melody, took pity

desire like a familiar melody, took pity on him. One night, as he pressed his

on him. One night, as he pressed his lips to the cold marble cheek, the stone

lips to the cold marble cheek, the stone softened. Warmth blossomed beneath his

softened. Warmth blossomed beneath his fingers. She

fingers. She blinked. "Galatia," he called her, and

blinked. "Galatia," he called her, and she looked back. They say they lived

she looked back. They say they lived quietly, happily, and perhaps they did.

quietly, happily, and perhaps they did. For in that small moment, stone to skin,

For in that small moment, stone to skin, stillness to breath, a wish became a

stillness to breath, a wish became a woman, and loneliness found a name. As

woman, and loneliness found a name. As for Pigon, one might wonder what Galatia

for Pigon, one might wonder what Galatia thought of it all. To awaken and find

thought of it all. To awaken and find yourself loved before you could speak,

yourself loved before you could speak, to be wished into being with no say in

to be wished into being with no say in the matter. Perhaps she loved him. Or

the matter. Perhaps she loved him. Or perhaps she learned to Or perhaps she

perhaps she learned to Or perhaps she simply chose not to leave. The myths do

simply chose not to leave. The myths do not say. They rarely ask the statue how

not say. They rarely ask the statue how it

it feels. Stories like Pyons weren't meant

feels. Stories like Pyons weren't meant to teach lessons. They were there to

to teach lessons. They were there to hold something else. Some flickering

hold something else. Some flickering hope that love, even when it seems

hope that love, even when it seems imagined, might be

imagined, might be answered. that even the coldest heart

answered. that even the coldest heart might stir if someone believes in it

might stir if someone believes in it long enough. And yet, even in these

long enough. And yet, even in these silences, the stories linger. They drift

silences, the stories linger. They drift across time, not because they are

across time, not because they are precise, but because they are familiar.

precise, but because they are familiar. We see ourselves in the ones who chase,

We see ourselves in the ones who chase, in the ones who run, in the ones who

in the ones who run, in the ones who wait too long by the water's edge.

wait too long by the water's edge. We recognize the fear of being forgotten

We recognize the fear of being forgotten and the wish to make something perfect

and the wish to make something perfect so we might never be alone

so we might never be alone again. And so we come to the end not of

again. And so we come to the end not of myth for that never truly ends but of

myth for that never truly ends but of the telling. The gods, the heroes, the

the telling. The gods, the heroes, the curses and quests, they fade for now

curses and quests, they fade for now like torch light at dawn. But something

like torch light at dawn. But something remains. Greek mythology was never meant

remains. Greek mythology was never meant to be tidy. It contradicts itself.

to be tidy. It contradicts itself. It bends. It forgets. But that's what

It bends. It forgets. But that's what makes it so human. These were not just

makes it so human. These were not just stories about gods. They were mirrors

stories about gods. They were mirrors held up to us. They showed what happened

held up to us. They showed what happened when we loved too deeply or too

when we loved too deeply or too carelessly. When we reached for more

carelessly. When we reached for more than we should, when we defied fate or

than we should, when we defied fate or surrendered to it. The gods may have had

surrendered to it. The gods may have had temples, but it was in the quiet

temples, but it was in the quiet corners, the cave, the hearth, the olive

corners, the cave, the hearth, the olive grove, that these stories were truly

grove, that these stories were truly remembered. Whispered to children,

remembered. Whispered to children, painted on pottery, traded by sailors

painted on pottery, traded by sailors who weren't entirely sure if they'd seen

who weren't entirely sure if they'd seen a sea monster or just wanted a good

a sea monster or just wanted a good excuse for being late. Even now they

excuse for being late. Even now they persist in the constellations overhead,

persist in the constellations overhead, in words like narcissist and hygiene, in

in words like narcissist and hygiene, in art, in poetry, in how we speak of hope

art, in poetry, in how we speak of hope and tragedy. We still long like

and tragedy. We still long like Pyalon. We still echo like the nymph in

Pyalon. We still echo like the nymph in the woods. And we still wonder what

the woods. And we still wonder what thread the fates are spinning while we

thread the fates are spinning while we sleep. So rest now, traveler of old

sleep. So rest now, traveler of old stories. Let the myths drift and settle.

stories. Let the myths drift and settle. Let their gods climb back to Olympus and

Let their gods climb back to Olympus and their heroes sheave their

their heroes sheave their blades. There is nothing to slay

blades. There is nothing to slay tonight, only silence and sleep, and the

tonight, only silence and sleep, and the slow turning of the

slow turning of the stars. And perhaps if you listen

stars. And perhaps if you listen closely, you'll hear the spindle

closely, you'll hear the spindle spinning still.

spinning still. Congratulations, you've just woken up in

Congratulations, you've just woken up in ancient Rome. Not in a palace. Not in a

ancient Rome. Not in a palace. Not in a marble villa surrounded by fountains and

marble villa surrounded by fountains and toga clad servants feeding you grapes.

toga clad servants feeding you grapes. No, you've landed where most people

No, you've landed where most people lived, where the plumbing is

lived, where the plumbing is theoretical. The walls are one good fart

theoretical. The walls are one good fart away from collapse, and your upstairs

away from collapse, and your upstairs neighbor is always, always stomping

neighbor is always, always stomping around like a gladiator on leg day.

around like a gladiator on leg day. You're in an insula. The Roman version

You're in an insula. The Roman version of an apartment

of an apartment building. Sounds promising, right? Maybe

building. Sounds promising, right? Maybe something with a courtyard. A bit of

something with a courtyard. A bit of sunlight. Wrong. The Latin word insula

sunlight. Wrong. The Latin word insula literally means island, and that's the

literally means island, and that's the first clue that you are absolutely

first clue that you are absolutely stranded. You're on the fourth floor if

stranded. You're on the fourth floor if you're lucky. Anything higher than that

you're lucky. Anything higher than that and you're basically living in the

and you're basically living in the rafters of a fire hazard. These

rafters of a fire hazard. These buildings are made of brick, wood, and

buildings are made of brick, wood, and wishful thinking. They sway in the wind,

wishful thinking. They sway in the wind, lean against each other like drunk

lean against each other like drunk friends, and have an average structural

friends, and have an average structural integrity of a stale loaf of bread. And

integrity of a stale loaf of bread. And speaking of bread, don't even think

speaking of bread, don't even think about making toast.

about making toast. Open flames are banned because one bad

Open flames are banned because one bad cooking accident and the whole block

cooking accident and the whole block goes up like a Satinelia

goes up like a Satinelia bonfire. Your room is about the size of

bonfire. Your room is about the size of a modern walk-in closet. There's a cot

a modern walk-in closet. There's a cot term used generously made of rope and

term used generously made of rope and straw and a threadbear blanket that

straw and a threadbear blanket that smells like every person who's ever used

smells like every person who's ever used it before you.

it before you. The walls are damp, stained, and close

The walls are damp, stained, and close enough together that if you lie on your

enough together that if you lie on your side, you can touch both without

side, you can touch both without moving. You have no

moving. You have no windows. Light filters in from a crack

windows. Light filters in from a crack under the door and from a hole someone

under the door and from a hole someone accidentally punched through the roof

accidentally punched through the roof with a broom handle three tenants ago.

with a broom handle three tenants ago. There's no privacy. You share this space

There's no privacy. You share this space with two other people, one of whom is

with two other people, one of whom is coughing with such dramatic flare that

coughing with such dramatic flare that you briefly wonder if you're living in a

you briefly wonder if you're living in a poorly written tragedy. Spoiler. It's

poorly written tragedy. Spoiler. It's not drama. It's probably tuberculosis.

not drama. It's probably tuberculosis. Outside the morning begins not with bird

Outside the morning begins not with bird song but with the rumble of wooden carts

song but with the rumble of wooden carts and the melodious yelling of vendors

and the melodious yelling of vendors hawking olives fish and something that

hawking olives fish and something that may have been bred in a former life. A

may have been bred in a former life. A donkey braze like it's dying. Children

donkey braze like it's dying. Children cry like they're dying. And someone's

cry like they're dying. And someone's already arguing over taxes two floors

already arguing over taxes two floors below. You stretch. Bad idea.

below. You stretch. Bad idea. Your back cracks like a papyrus scroll

Your back cracks like a papyrus scroll in a drought, and you immediately regret

in a drought, and you immediately regret trying to act like someone whose spine

trying to act like someone whose spine hasn't been curled into a question mark

hasn't been curled into a question mark by years of hard labor and a diet that

by years of hard labor and a diet that consists mostly of beans and regret.

consists mostly of beans and regret. You're about 27 years old, which makes

You're about 27 years old, which makes you one of the older folks in the

you one of the older folks in the neighborhood. Most people die before 40,

neighborhood. Most people die before 40, usually from some combination of injury,

usually from some combination of injury, infection, or inhaling too much,

infection, or inhaling too much, whatever it is that leaks from the

whatever it is that leaks from the latrine pit every summer. You shuffle

latrine pit every summer. You shuffle out of bed

out of bed barefoot. Of course, you're barefoot.

barefoot. Of course, you're barefoot. Shoes cost money, and if you had money,

Shoes cost money, and if you had money, you wouldn't be living here. The floor

you wouldn't be living here. The floor is cold and sticky. Is it wine? Is it

is cold and sticky. Is it wine? Is it urine? Is it olive oil?

urine? Is it olive oil? It's probably all three. You step around

It's probably all three. You step around your neighbor's sleeping form and try

your neighbor's sleeping form and try not to kick the communal chamber pot.

not to kick the communal chamber pot. It's full. It's always full. Time to

It's full. It's always full. Time to relieve

relieve yourself. Great. You've got

yourself. Great. You've got options. Option one, the aforementioned

options. Option one, the aforementioned chamber pot, which will soon be dumped.

chamber pot, which will soon be dumped. Drum roll, please. Right out the window.

Drum roll, please. Right out the window. There's a whole system to it. You're

There's a whole system to it. You're supposed to shout cave before you launch

supposed to shout cave before you launch the contents onto the street below,

the contents onto the street below, which means watch out in Latin. But

which means watch out in Latin. But let's be honest, nobody does. The

let's be honest, nobody does. The streets weak of urine, feces, spoiled

streets weak of urine, feces, spoiled food, and dead

food, and dead dreams. The gutters are open, the waste

dreams. The gutters are open, the waste flows freely, and if you're lucky, the

flows freely, and if you're lucky, the rain hasn't washed it all back toward

rain hasn't washed it all back toward your front door. Hygiene, you ask?

your front door. Hygiene, you ask? That's adorable. There are no showers,

That's adorable. There are no showers, no soap, no

no soap, no toothpaste. You might wash your face in

toothpaste. You might wash your face in the public fountain if you're feeling

the public fountain if you're feeling fancy and don't mind sharing your

fancy and don't mind sharing your morning splash with 14 other people and

morning splash with 14 other people and a stray dog licking a

a stray dog licking a wound. You scrape your teeth with a

wound. You scrape your teeth with a stick. Maybe rub some ash on them if

stick. Maybe rub some ash on them if you're feeling bougie. Breath. It smells

you're feeling bougie. Breath. It smells like a fermented mixture of old lentils

like a fermented mixture of old lentils and existential dread. Still, you pull

and existential dread. Still, you pull on your tunic, your one tunic, and head

on your tunic, your one tunic, and head outside. It's made of rough wool or

outside. It's made of rough wool or linen, stained in ways you've long

linen, stained in ways you've long stopped trying to identify. It smells

stopped trying to identify. It smells like mildew and human. No deodorant, no

like mildew and human. No deodorant, no underwear. You tie it at the waist with

underwear. You tie it at the waist with a rope and hope it holds. If not,

a rope and hope it holds. If not, congratulations.

congratulations. You've just invented public

You've just invented public indecency. Not that anyone cares.

indecency. Not that anyone cares. Modesty in Rome is mostly reserved for

Modesty in Rome is mostly reserved for statues and upper class

statues and upper class poetry. Stepping outside is like

poetry. Stepping outside is like entering a war zone of the senses. The

entering a war zone of the senses. The street is already

street is already packed. Vendors scream, beggars shout,

packed. Vendors scream, beggars shout, oxen defecate

oxen defecate midstep. Flies swarm in thick clouds

midstep. Flies swarm in thick clouds over the fish stools.

over the fish stools. Somewhere nearby, a rooster is being

Somewhere nearby, a rooster is being murdered or possibly just expressing

murdered or possibly just expressing itself. Someone's cooking something that

itself. Someone's cooking something that smells like

smells like disappointment. Your neighbor's child

disappointment. Your neighbor's child runs past barefoot and covered in

runs past barefoot and covered in something that might be jam, might be

something that might be jam, might be blood, might be both.

blood, might be both. You make your way down the street toward

You make your way down the street toward the communal bakery, one of the few

the communal bakery, one of the few luxuries you share with the rest of your

luxuries you share with the rest of your block. You hand over your

block. You hand over your governmentissued grain ration, a lump of

governmentissued grain ration, a lump of barley flour wrapped in

barley flour wrapped in cloth. The baker takes it, adds it to

cloth. The baker takes it, adds it to the others, and hours later, you'll get

the others, and hours later, you'll get back a small hard blackened loaf. It's

back a small hard blackened loaf. It's barely edible, mostly ash from the

barely edible, mostly ash from the public oven's coals. But hey, it's warm

public oven's coals. But hey, it's warm and it's yours. Assuming no one steals

and it's yours. Assuming no one steals it first.

it first. Breakfast. Sure, let's pretend. If

Breakfast. Sure, let's pretend. If you're lucky, you get a bit of pulse, a

you're lucky, you get a bit of pulse, a thick grill made from boiled

thick grill made from boiled grains. It's what most poor Romans eat

grains. It's what most poor Romans eat every day. Grain, water, maybe some

every day. Grain, water, maybe some chickpeas, maybe not. If you're having a

chickpeas, maybe not. If you're having a good day, there's a drizzle of olive oil

good day, there's a drizzle of olive oil on top. If you're having a bad day, the

on top. If you're having a bad day, the drizzle is rat urine, and you don't know

drizzle is rat urine, and you don't know it yet. Meat only for the rich. Milk

it yet. Meat only for the rich. Milk spoils too fast. Cheese? Maybe eggs?

spoils too fast. Cheese? Maybe eggs? Only if you steal them from a chicken

Only if you steal them from a chicken that lives under your stairs. Most

that lives under your stairs. Most protein comes from beans, lentils, and

protein comes from beans, lentils, and dreams. If you want fruit, it better be

dreams. If you want fruit, it better be in season and

in season and unspoiled. Otherwise, you're just

unspoiled. Otherwise, you're just gnoring on the husk of an overripe fig

gnoring on the husk of an overripe fig and pretending it's a plum. You might

and pretending it's a plum. You might stop by the latrina, a public latrine,

stop by the latrina, a public latrine, to take care of business.

to take care of business. If you enjoy the company of 12 other

If you enjoy the company of 12 other people doing the exact same thing, the

people doing the exact same thing, the bench has a series of holes, no

bench has a series of holes, no dividers, and a shared sponge on a stick

dividers, and a shared sponge on a stick dipped in vinegar. That's the Roman

dipped in vinegar. That's the Roman version of toilet paper. You rinse it,

version of toilet paper. You rinse it, wipe, and

wipe, and repeat. And you wonder why nobody makes

repeat. And you wonder why nobody makes eye contact in these

eye contact in these places. After all this, it's barely midm

places. After all this, it's barely midm morning. You haven't even started work

morning. You haven't even started work yet. But before you leave for your day

yet. But before you leave for your day job, which spoiler is physically and

job, which spoiler is physically and emotionally crushing, you pause for a

emotionally crushing, you pause for a moment and look around. The street is

moment and look around. The street is alive, smelly, chaotic, dangerous, but

alive, smelly, chaotic, dangerous, but alive. Kids scream and chase each other.

alive. Kids scream and chase each other. A street performer juggles knives with

A street performer juggles knives with questionable skill. A merchant shouts

questionable skill. A merchant shouts about the healing power of fermented

about the healing power of fermented fish sauce. And the city breathes,

fish sauce. And the city breathes, chokes, and burps in one neverending

chokes, and burps in one neverending symphony of

symphony of humanity. Your landlord never seen him.

humanity. Your landlord never seen him. Repairs. Don't hold your breath. If your

Repairs. Don't hold your breath. If your building collapses, it's not considered

building collapses, it's not considered a tragedy. It's considered a Tuesday.

a tragedy. It's considered a Tuesday. Fires are common. So are floods. So is

Fires are common. So are floods. So is sudden unexplained death. You're a cog

sudden unexplained death. You're a cog in a system that views you as

in a system that views you as replaceable.

replaceable. You're not a citizen. You're a warm body

You're not a citizen. You're a warm body in a sense of scroll. Your value is

in a sense of scroll. Your value is measured in how quietly you suffer. And

measured in how quietly you suffer. And you will suffer because this is ancient

you will suffer because this is ancient Rome, not the Rome of marble forums and

Rome, not the Rome of marble forums and golden

golden laurels. Not the Rome of historians and

laurels. Not the Rome of historians and Hollywoods. This is the Rome of slums

Hollywoods. This is the Rome of slums and soot, of crowded insul and chamber

and soot, of crowded insul and chamber pots, of grit and groaning

pots, of grit and groaning humanity. You're not Cicero. You're not

humanity. You're not Cicero. You're not Caesar. You're not even close. You're a

Caesar. You're not even close. You're a peasant on the fourth floor, praying the

peasant on the fourth floor, praying the third doesn't catch fire

third doesn't catch fire again. And it's only the beginning of

again. And it's only the beginning of your

your day. Congratulations.

day. Congratulations. You've survived your first Roman night

You've survived your first Roman night without being robbed, choked by smoke,

without being robbed, choked by smoke, or crushed by your neighbor's drunken

or crushed by your neighbor's drunken body rolling onto your sleeping mat. Not

body rolling onto your sleeping mat. Not bad. But the gods are generous today.

bad. But the gods are generous today. And you've earned the privilege of

And you've earned the privilege of waking up to the sweet, piercing sound

waking up to the sweet, piercing sound of

of yelling. It's not an alarm clock. It's

yelling. It's not an alarm clock. It's never an alarm clock.

never an alarm clock. It's your neighbor yelling at his wife

It's your neighbor yelling at his wife or the vendor below your window

or the vendor below your window screaming about

screaming about fish or the chamber pot hitting the

fish or the chamber pot hitting the cobblestones after someone above you

cobblestones after someone above you dumped last night's wine and body fluids

dumped last night's wine and body fluids out the window. Morning in ancient Rome

out the window. Morning in ancient Rome begins not with bird song, but with

begins not with bird song, but with complaints, sewage, and regret.

complaints, sewage, and regret. Your eyes crack open to a ceiling so low

Your eyes crack open to a ceiling so low you could punch it sitting up. You're

you could punch it sitting up. You're lying on a straw mat shared with your

lying on a straw mat shared with your younger sibling, your cousin, possibly a

younger sibling, your cousin, possibly a stranger who paid your landlord two

stranger who paid your landlord two dinari to squat in the corner

dinari to squat in the corner overnight. The air smells like feet,

overnight. The air smells like feet, garlic, and

garlic, and mildew. You wonder briefly if you died

mildew. You wonder briefly if you died and woke up in Hades, but no, you're

and woke up in Hades, but no, you're still alive.

still alive. Unfortunately, your home, generously

Unfortunately, your home, generously called an insula, is a Roman apartment

called an insula, is a Roman apartment building made of wood, dreams, and

building made of wood, dreams, and flammable lies. You're on the third

flammable lies. You're on the third floor, which is slightly less deadly

floor, which is slightly less deadly than the

than the fifth. Higher up means cheaper rent and

fifth. Higher up means cheaper rent and a better chance of dying when the whole

a better chance of dying when the whole building inevitably

building inevitably collapses. Down below, the rich enjoy

collapses. Down below, the rich enjoy sturdier homes and indoor plumbing.

sturdier homes and indoor plumbing. Up here you enjoy rats, water leaks, and

Up here you enjoy rats, water leaks, and the subtle creaking that reminds you

the subtle creaking that reminds you this structure is held together by hope

this structure is held together by hope and mold. You swing your legs over the

and mold. You swing your legs over the side of your mat and immediately regret

side of your mat and immediately regret it. The floor is damp. It's always

it. The floor is damp. It's always damp. Water, wine, blood, who knows? The

damp. Water, wine, blood, who knows? The answer doesn't change the fact that your

answer doesn't change the fact that your only sandals were stolen last week and

only sandals were stolen last week and you've been walking barefoot ever since.

you've been walking barefoot ever since. You gingerely avoid the sticky patch in

You gingerely avoid the sticky patch in the corner and stand stretching your

the corner and stand stretching your aching back like a cat that's being

aching back like a cat that's being kicked down a flight of

kicked down a flight of stairs. Time to wash up, you say. Cute.

stairs. Time to wash up, you say. Cute. There is no basin, no sink, no soap. You

There is no basin, no sink, no soap. You wipe your face with a damp cloth that

wipe your face with a damp cloth that may or may not have once cleaned your

may or may not have once cleaned your landlord's armpits.

landlord's armpits. Your version of a morning skin care

Your version of a morning skin care routine involves rubbing oil on your

routine involves rubbing oil on your skin and then scraping it off with a

skin and then scraping it off with a curved blade called a stridel, which

curved blade called a stridel, which sounds elegant until you realize it's

sounds elegant until you realize it's just ancient Roman exfoliation by pain.

just ancient Roman exfoliation by pain. You're basically buttering yourself like

You're basically buttering yourself like toast and then peeling it off. If you're

toast and then peeling it off. If you're lucky enough to live near a bath house

lucky enough to live near a bath house and have a few coins left, maybe you can

and have a few coins left, maybe you can get cleaner later. But right now,

get cleaner later. But right now, hygiene is a

hygiene is a luxury. You settle for smearing your

luxury. You settle for smearing your face with whatever water you find in a

face with whatever water you find in a communal jar and call it

communal jar and call it refreshed. Now comes breakfast. Brace

refreshed. Now comes breakfast. Brace yourself. The Roman equivalent of a

yourself. The Roman equivalent of a power breakfast is nothing.

power breakfast is nothing. The morning meal is called inantaculum,

The morning meal is called inantaculum, which is Latin for don't get your hopes

which is Latin for don't get your hopes up. It usually consists of yesterday's

up. It usually consists of yesterday's bread, hard as marble, and lovingly

bread, hard as marble, and lovingly stored in a mouseinfested clay pot

stored in a mouseinfested clay pot overnight. You soften it by dipping it

overnight. You soften it by dipping it in watered down wine, a drink that

in watered down wine, a drink that tastes like vinegar with trust issues.

tastes like vinegar with trust issues. If you're feeling fancy, maybe you get

If you're feeling fancy, maybe you get some olives or a smear of garam, the

some olives or a smear of garam, the famous Roman fermented fish sauce that

famous Roman fermented fish sauce that smells like low tide and

smells like low tide and failure. It's Rome's favorite condiment

failure. It's Rome's favorite condiment used on everything from meat to

used on everything from meat to vegetables to moments of crushing

vegetables to moments of crushing despair. It's the ketchup of the ancient

despair. It's the ketchup of the ancient world if ketchup were made from rotting

world if ketchup were made from rotting mackerel.

mackerel. There's no coffee, no eggs, no fruit

There's no coffee, no eggs, no fruit smoothie with collagen powder. Your

smoothie with collagen powder. Your breakfast has one job. Prevent immediate

breakfast has one job. Prevent immediate death. It succeeds

death. It succeeds barely. You chew in silence while your

barely. You chew in silence while your neighbors scream about something,

neighbors scream about something, probably taxes or bread

probably taxes or bread rations. Or maybe it's that guy on the

rations. Or maybe it's that guy on the second floor who keeps sacrificing

second floor who keeps sacrificing pigeons in the hallway. You don't

pigeons in the hallway. You don't ask. The rule of thumb in Roman tenement

ask. The rule of thumb in Roman tenement life is this. The less you know, the

life is this. The less you know, the longer you

longer you live. Once you've gnawed your way

live. Once you've gnawed your way through a slice of disappointment and

through a slice of disappointment and sipped your wine flavored sadness, it's

sipped your wine flavored sadness, it's time to dress for the day. Don't get

time to dress for the day. Don't get excited. You have two

excited. You have two garments. A tunic made from rough wool

garments. A tunic made from rough wool and a threadbear cloak that's more whole

and a threadbear cloak that's more whole than fabric.

than fabric. The tunic itches. The cloak stinks. And

The tunic itches. The cloak stinks. And both have been repaired so many times

both have been repaired so many times they're basically held together with

they're basically held together with prayers and the dreams of better

prayers and the dreams of better fabric. Underwear.

fabric. Underwear. Hilarious. You tie a belt around your

Hilarious. You tie a belt around your waist to keep everything vaguely

waist to keep everything vaguely attached and hope no one notices. Your

attached and hope no one notices. Your left shoulder is always exposed because

left shoulder is always exposed because the fabric keeps sliding off. The rich

the fabric keeps sliding off. The rich wear toggers. You don't. Toggas are for

wear toggers. You don't. Toggas are for citizens, people with status. You,

citizens, people with status. You, you're a pleb, a non-citizen if you're

you're a pleb, a non-citizen if you're an immigrant, a nobody if we're being

an immigrant, a nobody if we're being honest. If you wear a toga, you're

honest. If you wear a toga, you're either delusional or planning to be

either delusional or planning to be arrested for impersonating someone with

arrested for impersonating someone with dignity. As you step outside, you're hit

dignity. As you step outside, you're hit with the full sentry assault that is a

with the full sentry assault that is a Roman street. The noise is immediate.

Roman street. The noise is immediate. Vendors hawking their wares. Street

Vendors hawking their wares. Street musicians playing instruments no one

musicians playing instruments no one asked for. Philosophers debating

asked for. Philosophers debating loudly. And someone somewhere is always

loudly. And someone somewhere is always screaming about cucumbers. It's chaos.

screaming about cucumbers. It's chaos. Organized, smelly chaos. The streets

Organized, smelly chaos. The streets themselves, paved with stones and slick

themselves, paved with stones and slick with everything. Animal waste, human

with everything. Animal waste, human waste, mystery slop that no one wants to

waste, mystery slop that no one wants to identify. Rome has sewers, yes, but they

identify. Rome has sewers, yes, but they serve the rich

serve the rich neighborhoods. Your street is

neighborhoods. Your street is self-cleaning, by which we mean rain

self-cleaning, by which we mean rain occasionally washes the filth into

occasionally washes the filth into someone else's

someone else's neighborhood. It's a system. You walk

neighborhood. It's a system. You walk carefully, avoiding puddles and people.

carefully, avoiding puddles and people. A car barrels past you, pulled by

A car barrels past you, pulled by donkeys and driven by a man who seems

donkeys and driven by a man who seems genuinely angry that pedestrians

genuinely angry that pedestrians exist. There are no sidewalks. There are

exist. There are no sidewalks. There are no traffic laws. There is only instinct,

no traffic laws. There is only instinct, prayer, and the faint hope that the gods

prayer, and the faint hope that the gods are paying attention.

are paying attention. You pass temples where people line up to

You pass temples where people line up to offer

offer sacrifices, flowers, coins, small

sacrifices, flowers, coins, small animals, or the occasional desperate

animals, or the occasional desperate plea. You don't have anything to give,

plea. You don't have anything to give, so you nod awkwardly at Jupiter's statue

so you nod awkwardly at Jupiter's statue and keep moving. He probably wasn't

and keep moving. He probably wasn't listening anyway. If you're headed to

listening anyway. If you're headed to work, and most likely you are,

work, and most likely you are, congratulations. That means you didn't

congratulations. That means you didn't starve to death yesterday.

starve to death yesterday. Work in ancient Rome is not fulfilling.

Work in ancient Rome is not fulfilling. It is not purpose- driven. It is

It is not purpose- driven. It is survival in a

survival in a tunic. You might be a laborer hauling

tunic. You might be a laborer hauling bricks or mixing mortar for one of the

bricks or mixing mortar for one of the emperor's new vanity

emperor's new vanity projects. Or maybe you're a porter

projects. Or maybe you're a porter carrying goods up and down stairs in a

carrying goods up and down stairs in a building with no structural integrity.

building with no structural integrity. You might be a street cleaner, a fish

You might be a street cleaner, a fish seller, a potter, or worse, a public

seller, a potter, or worse, a public latrine attendant, paid in pity and

latrine attendant, paid in pity and bronze coins to sweep filth off marble

bronze coins to sweep filth off marble and pretend your soul isn't slowly

and pretend your soul isn't slowly escaping through your nostrils. The

escaping through your nostrils. The hours are long, the pay is miserable,

hours are long, the pay is miserable, and your boss might beat you for fun. If

and your boss might beat you for fun. If you're a slave, you don't even get paid.

you're a slave, you don't even get paid. You just work. And if you complain,

You just work. And if you complain, you're whipped. If you collapse, you're

you're whipped. If you collapse, you're replaced. If you die, well, someone else

replaced. If you die, well, someone else gets your blanket. Midday approaches,

gets your blanket. Midday approaches, and the sun is brutal. Rome's climate is

and the sun is brutal. Rome's climate is hot, sticky, and utterly unbothered by

hot, sticky, and utterly unbothered by your suffering. There's no air

your suffering. There's no air conditioning, no shade, unless you cling

conditioning, no shade, unless you cling to a building's shadow like a sweaty

to a building's shadow like a sweaty ghost. Your tunic sticks to your skin.

ghost. Your tunic sticks to your skin. Your sandals, if you have them, slap

Your sandals, if you have them, slap against the stones with every exhausted

against the stones with every exhausted step. And if you don't, your feet are

step. And if you don't, your feet are slowly becoming part of the

slowly becoming part of the pavement. Lunch. Huh? It's called

pavement. Lunch. Huh? It's called panium. And if you're lucky, it's more

panium. And if you're lucky, it's more bread, maybe a bit of cheese, maybe

bread, maybe a bit of cheese, maybe dried fruit or a boiled egg if your

dried fruit or a boiled egg if your employer had a good gambling night. You

employer had a good gambling night. You eat sitting on a step watching richer

eat sitting on a step watching richer Romans being carried around in litters

Romans being carried around in litters like mobile royalty. You chew and you

like mobile royalty. You chew and you try not to think about how you're

try not to think about how you're probably consuming sand and rodent hair.

probably consuming sand and rodent hair. As the day wears on, the smells

As the day wears on, the smells intensify. The streets weak of sweat,

intensify. The streets weak of sweat, garbage, and garum.

garbage, and garum. You pass a bakery and inhale deeply. The

You pass a bakery and inhale deeply. The scent of fresh bread temporarily

scent of fresh bread temporarily tricking your brain into thinking life

tricking your brain into thinking life is worth it. Then you remember bread is

is worth it. Then you remember bread is taxed and your landlord raised rent

taxed and your landlord raised rent again and your water jar cracked last

again and your water jar cracked last night and your cousin is still sick with

night and your cousin is still sick with whatever plague is currently

whatever plague is currently fashionable. You keep walking. you keep

fashionable. You keep walking. you keep surviving because in ancient Rome that's

surviving because in ancient Rome that's the entire point. And finally, after

the entire point. And finally, after hours of backbreaking labor, social

hours of backbreaking labor, social humiliation, and a mild sunstroke, you

humiliation, and a mild sunstroke, you make your way

make your way home. You ascend the stairs of your

home. You ascend the stairs of your insula carefully because the staircase

insula carefully because the staircase is made of splintered wood and shame.

is made of splintered wood and shame. One misstep and you're joining the

One misstep and you're joining the spirits of the fifth floor tenants who

spirits of the fifth floor tenants who fell last week. You reach your door. You

fell last week. You reach your door. You enter. It's dark, cramped, and smells

enter. It's dark, cramped, and smells like boiling cabbage. Even though you

like boiling cabbage. Even though you don't have any

don't have any cabbage, someone is already asleep in

cabbage, someone is already asleep in your

your corner. You don't ask who they are. You

corner. You don't ask who they are. You just lie down next to them and close

just lie down next to them and close your eyes, hoping you don't dream about

your eyes, hoping you don't dream about the bucket. And with that, your Roman

the bucket. And with that, your Roman mourning ends. Was it glorious? Number

mourning ends. Was it glorious? Number was it

was it dignified? Absolutely not. But you

dignified? Absolutely not. But you survived. And in ancient Rome, that

survived. And in ancient Rome, that counts for

counts for something. Tomorrow you get to do it all

something. Tomorrow you get to do it all again. You've survived your first Roman

again. You've survived your first Roman night in the insula.

night in the insula. Barely. Sleep came in waves interrupted

Barely. Sleep came in waves interrupted by creaking floorboards above, shouting

by creaking floorboards above, shouting neighbors, the distant rumble of wagons

neighbors, the distant rumble of wagons and an itching sensation on your leg

and an itching sensation on your leg that you'd rather not

that you'd rather not investigate. You're hungry now. Not the

investigate. You're hungry now. Not the kind of hunger that inspires a brunch

kind of hunger that inspires a brunch outing or a carefully measured protein

outing or a carefully measured protein shake. This is more primal, heavier.

shake. This is more primal, heavier. Your body wants fuel.

Your body wants fuel. But this is ancient Rome and you're

But this is ancient Rome and you're poor. So what you're about to experience

poor. So what you're about to experience isn't breakfast. It's

isn't breakfast. It's survival. The Romans didn't believe in

survival. The Romans didn't believe in breakfast as a significant meal. Not in

breakfast as a significant meal. Not in the way we do. They had a word for it. I

the way we do. They had a word for it. I taculum. A small early meal typically

taculum. A small early meal typically consumed by those who had to work long

consumed by those who had to work long days. For the rich, it might consist of

days. For the rich, it might consist of bread dipped in wine, cheese, olives, or

bread dipped in wine, cheese, olives, or even a bit of fruit. But you, you're not

even a bit of fruit. But you, you're not rich. You're a plebbeian, one of

rich. You're a plebbeian, one of thousands crammed into the belly of the

thousands crammed into the belly of the city, eking out a life in the shadow of

city, eking out a life in the shadow of Rome's

Rome's grandeur. For someone of your station,

grandeur. For someone of your station, Iaculum is more of a formality than a

Iaculum is more of a formality than a feast. Maybe a crust of coarse bread,

feast. Maybe a crust of coarse bread, dry and unevenly

dry and unevenly baked. This bread is likely a leftover

baked. This bread is likely a leftover from the day before or the day before

from the day before or the day before that. Made from barley or spelt grain

that. Made from barley or spelt grain types considered suitable for the lower

types considered suitable for the lower classes. It's dense, dark, and has the

classes. It's dense, dark, and has the mouth feel of something chipped from a

mouth feel of something chipped from a wall. There's no butter, no jam, and

wall. There's no butter, no jam, and certainly no eggs or honey. Those are

certainly no eggs or honey. Those are the luxuries of someone with coin and

the luxuries of someone with coin and status. What you might have if luck has

status. What you might have if luck has smiled upon you is a bit of

smiled upon you is a bit of pulse. Pulse is the quintessential Roman

pulse. Pulse is the quintessential Roman peasant food. A porridge made from

peasant food. A porridge made from pharaoh, emma, or barley. It's cooked

pharaoh, emma, or barley. It's cooked with water and occasionally seasoned

with water and occasionally seasoned with a drizzle of oil or the faintest

with a drizzle of oil or the faintest hint of herbs. Assuming you have any.

hint of herbs. Assuming you have any. It's not pleasant. Exactly.

It's not pleasant. Exactly. It doesn't nourish so much as it fills.

It doesn't nourish so much as it fills. A heavy steaming paste that sits in the

A heavy steaming paste that sits in the stomach like an anchor. On worst days,

stomach like an anchor. On worst days, it might be prepared with river water or

it might be prepared with river water or stored rainwater, slightly green and

stored rainwater, slightly green and earthy. You eat it quickly. Slowly just

earthy. You eat it quickly. Slowly just gives your brain time to realize it

gives your brain time to realize it tastes like boiled dampness. And yet,

tastes like boiled dampness. And yet, this is your fuel. Pulls maybe a bit of

this is your fuel. Pulls maybe a bit of bread and water.

bread and water. If you're lucky, you've managed to

If you're lucky, you've managed to secure some pusca, a common drink among

secure some pusca, a common drink among the poor and the military. It's made by

the poor and the military. It's made by mixing vinegar with water, sometimes

mixing vinegar with water, sometimes infused with herbs if

infused with herbs if available. It sounds unpleasant, and it

available. It sounds unpleasant, and it is, but it's far safer than drinking

is, but it's far safer than drinking untreated water straight from a public

untreated water straight from a public fountain or system. The acidity of the

fountain or system. The acidity of the vinegar kills bacteria and masks the

vinegar kills bacteria and masks the taste of unclean sources.

taste of unclean sources. It's sour and sharp, but it does the

It's sour and sharp, but it does the job. The public fountains of Rome flow

job. The public fountains of Rome flow constantly, fed by those legendary

constantly, fed by those legendary aqueducts. But that doesn't mean the

aqueducts. But that doesn't mean the water's clean where you live. Rome's

water's clean where you live. Rome's water system was advanced, yes, but only

water system was advanced, yes, but only until it reached the labyrinthine lower

until it reached the labyrinthine lower districts.

districts. there. The water quality depended

there. The water quality depended heavily on the maintenance of lead pipes

heavily on the maintenance of lead pipes and the cleanliness of the

and the cleanliness of the Castella, the distribution tanks feeding

Castella, the distribution tanks feeding your block. And maintenance wasn't

your block. And maintenance wasn't always a priority in neighborhoods like

always a priority in neighborhoods like yours. If someone upstream threw

yours. If someone upstream threw garbage, urine, or animal remains into

garbage, urine, or animal remains into the drainage channel, or worse, into the

the drainage channel, or worse, into the water itself, you'd never know until it

water itself, you'd never know until it was too late.

was too late. Hunger is a quiet constant for you. Even

Hunger is a quiet constant for you. Even when you eat, it never really fades.

when you eat, it never really fades. Food is expensive, and most of your

Food is expensive, and most of your earnings go toward rent, taxes, or

earnings go toward rent, taxes, or staying on the good side of your local

staying on the good side of your local patronis. So, you ration what little you

patronis. So, you ration what little you have. You learn to choose slowly,

have. You learn to choose slowly, savoring every bite like it's a luxury.

savoring every bite like it's a luxury. There's no variety. You eat what's

There's no variety. You eat what's available. And more often than not, that

available. And more often than not, that means you eat the same thing every day.

means you eat the same thing every day. Meat, almost never. The occasional

Meat, almost never. The occasional salted fish, usually garam cured scraps,

salted fish, usually garam cured scraps, or sardines, so pungent they could

or sardines, so pungent they could double as weapons. Meat is reserved for

double as weapons. Meat is reserved for the upper classes, for religious

the upper classes, for religious festivals, or as part of a soldier's

festivals, or as part of a soldier's rations. If you do get your hands on

rations. If you do get your hands on some, it's awful. organ meat, bones,

some, it's awful. organ meat, bones, things the rich don't want. You don't

things the rich don't want. You don't waste a single scrap. As for fruits and

waste a single scrap. As for fruits and vegetables, they appear

vegetables, they appear sporadically. You might find some wilted

sporadically. You might find some wilted leaks, onions, or turnips in the

leaks, onions, or turnips in the marketplace at a discount near closing

marketplace at a discount near closing time. Apples and figs are seasonal, and

time. Apples and figs are seasonal, and while Rome's Mediterranean climate makes

while Rome's Mediterranean climate makes such things abundant in theory, your

such things abundant in theory, your wallet tells a different story.

wallet tells a different story. You buy what others

You buy what others don't. Split fruit, half rotten dates,

don't. Split fruit, half rotten dates, bundles of wilted greens, all wrapped in

bundles of wilted greens, all wrapped in yesterday's gossip and

yesterday's gossip and grime. It's edible

grime. It's edible technically, you

technically, you hope. And if you're truly desperate,

hope. And if you're truly desperate, there's the street food. Rome had an

there's the street food. Rome had an active street food culture, particularly

active street food culture, particularly for the poor, who didn't have kitchens

for the poor, who didn't have kitchens in their insula

in their insula apartments. The poppy, small taverns or

apartments. The poppy, small taverns or hot food shops, line the alleyways of

hot food shops, line the alleyways of workingclass

workingclass neighborhoods. For a few asses, the

neighborhoods. For a few asses, the copper coins of the realm, you might get

copper coins of the realm, you might get a bowl of stewed lentils seasoned with

a bowl of stewed lentils seasoned with whatever bones or drippings the cook

whatever bones or drippings the cook could find. Perhaps a small skewer of

could find. Perhaps a small skewer of meat, heavily salted and suspiciously

meat, heavily salted and suspiciously chewy, or a honey cake made from stale

chewy, or a honey cake made from stale grain, barely sweet, and baked hard

grain, barely sweet, and baked hard enough to require soaking before eating.

enough to require soaking before eating. These places are busy, smoky, and loud.

These places are busy, smoky, and loud. They smell like hot oil, burned flour,

They smell like hot oil, burned flour, and sweat.

and sweat. The clientele includes laborers,

The clientele includes laborers, criminals, out of work veterans, and the

criminals, out of work veterans, and the occasional freed slave. They're not

occasional freed slave. They're not always safe. Fights break out. Money

always safe. Fights break out. Money disappears. But there, your only shot at

disappears. But there, your only shot at something warm, and you keep coming

something warm, and you keep coming back. It's important to understand that

back. It's important to understand that most Romans didn't cook their own food.

most Romans didn't cook their own food. The lower classes lacked private

The lower classes lacked private kitchens.

kitchens. Fire laws made it dangerous to cook in

Fire laws made it dangerous to cook in cramped wooden apartments. So, communal

cramped wooden apartments. So, communal ovens and public eries filled the

ovens and public eries filled the gap. But that also meant you were always

gap. But that also meant you were always dependent on merchants, on bakers, on

dependent on merchants, on bakers, on the shifting prices of olive oil and

the shifting prices of olive oil and grain. Speaking of grain, it's the

grain. Speaking of grain, it's the backbone of the Roman diet. The

backbone of the Roman diet. The government knows this. That's why they

government knows this. That's why they introduced the Anona, the grain doll, a

introduced the Anona, the grain doll, a state sponsored distribution of grain to

state sponsored distribution of grain to eligible Roman

eligible Roman citizens. If you qualify, you receive a

citizens. If you qualify, you receive a monthly allowance, enough to make bread

monthly allowance, enough to make bread or poles for a few weeks. It's not

or poles for a few weeks. It's not generous, but it's better than nothing.

generous, but it's better than nothing. For many, it's the line between hunger

For many, it's the line between hunger and starvation. But access isn't

and starvation. But access isn't guaranteed. You need to be registered

guaranteed. You need to be registered male and Roman. If you're a woman, a

male and Roman. If you're a woman, a foreigner, or a slave, the Anona isn't

foreigner, or a slave, the Anona isn't for you. You find other ways. Food for

for you. You find other ways. Food for you is rarely fresh. Bread goes stale

you is rarely fresh. Bread goes stale quickly. Pools clings to the bottom of

quickly. Pools clings to the bottom of pots long after it should have been

pots long after it should have been scrubbed out. What you consume today was

scrubbed out. What you consume today was cooked yesterday or last week. Spoilage

cooked yesterday or last week. Spoilage is common. Flies are constant, but waste

is common. Flies are constant, but waste is

is unthinkable. You eat around the mold.

unthinkable. You eat around the mold. You scrape off the bad parts. You chew

You scrape off the bad parts. You chew slowly, savoring what little flavor

slowly, savoring what little flavor remains. And yet, despite all of this,

remains. And yet, despite all of this, the city never starves, not completely.

the city never starves, not completely. Rome's graneries are full, its imports

Rome's graneries are full, its imports steady. Ships from Egypt, Sicily, and

steady. Ships from Egypt, Sicily, and North Africa sail in daily, their

North Africa sail in daily, their bellies full of grain, oil, and wine.

bellies full of grain, oil, and wine. The empire feeds its capital like a

The empire feeds its capital like a mother feeds a hungry child. You just

mother feeds a hungry child. You just don't always get your share. If you're a

don't always get your share. If you're a slave or a freedman in service, your

slave or a freedman in service, your meals depend on your master's whim. You

meals depend on your master's whim. You might get stew, bread, or leftovers from

might get stew, bread, or leftovers from the main table. Or you might go hungry

the main table. Or you might go hungry until someone remembers you exist. If

until someone remembers you exist. If you're a day laborer, your meal breaks

you're a day laborer, your meal breaks are dictated by your work. Dig ditches,

are dictated by your work. Dig ditches, haul stones, build baths, and maybe at

haul stones, build baths, and maybe at midm morning, you get 10 minutes to nor

midm morning, you get 10 minutes to nor a piece of dried fig or drink from a

a piece of dried fig or drink from a shared cup. And let's not forget feast

shared cup. And let's not forget feast days. Not because you're invited to the

days. Not because you're invited to the banquet, but because it's the one time

banquet, but because it's the one time the rich throw scraps to the

the rich throw scraps to the streets. Religious festivals sometimes

streets. Religious festivals sometimes include public offerings, distributions

include public offerings, distributions of food or coin, perhaps a roasted pig

of food or coin, perhaps a roasted pig or a platter of bread and fish for the

or a platter of bread and fish for the masses. It's not kindness, it's

masses. It's not kindness, it's politics. But you take what you can get.

politics. But you take what you can get. By midm morning, your hunger has faded

By midm morning, your hunger has faded into something else. A dull pressure, a

into something else. A dull pressure, a reminder. You've eaten just enough to

reminder. You've eaten just enough to continue. You tie the cloth belt around

continue. You tie the cloth belt around your tunic a little tighter and get

your tunic a little tighter and get moving. You've got work ahead of you.

moving. You've got work ahead of you. Rome doesn't wait. And tomorrow you'll

Rome doesn't wait. And tomorrow you'll eat again. Or you won't. But either way,

eat again. Or you won't. But either way, you'll wake up in the same insula with

you'll wake up in the same insula with the same cracked bowl and the same stale

the same cracked bowl and the same stale loaf waiting on a wooden

loaf waiting on a wooden shelf. Because in ancient

shelf. Because in ancient Rome, food is never far away, but

Rome, food is never far away, but neither is hunger. The sun has fully

neither is hunger. The sun has fully risen now, and the Roman day is

risen now, and the Roman day is underway.

underway. For you, a plebbeian or perhaps a slave,

For you, a plebbeian or perhaps a slave, that doesn't mean a slow stretch and a

that doesn't mean a slow stretch and a relaxing breakfast. It means the work

relaxing breakfast. It means the work begins, and it begins early. Rome is not

begins, and it begins early. Rome is not a place of idleness for the lower

a place of idleness for the lower classes. The empire may be vast, but the

classes. The empire may be vast, but the streets of the city feel like a funnel,

streets of the city feel like a funnel, where the sweat of thousands filters

where the sweat of thousands filters upward to benefit the few. Let's start

upward to benefit the few. Let's start with the plebeians.

with the plebeians. Not the poorest of the poor, but far

Not the poorest of the poor, but far from

from comfort. Most plebeians in the city work

comfort. Most plebeians in the city work trades, manual laborers, builders,

trades, manual laborers, builders, bakers, water carriers, cobblers, street

bakers, water carriers, cobblers, street sellers. If you're skilled, maybe you're

sellers. If you're skilled, maybe you're a stone cutter, or you've secured a spot

a stone cutter, or you've secured a spot in one of the Roman guilds, the

in one of the Roman guilds, the collegia. But for most, you're

collegia. But for most, you're expendable muscle.

expendable muscle. hired for the day, paid by the hour if

hired for the day, paid by the hour if you're lucky. You don't have a fixed

you're lucky. You don't have a fixed schedule. You have a need, a relentless

schedule. You have a need, a relentless knowing one. You work because not

knowing one. You work because not working means not eating. You wake

working means not eating. You wake before dawn, grab what counts for

before dawn, grab what counts for breakfast, maybe a crust of bread or a

breakfast, maybe a crust of bread or a spoonful of barley mush, and head out to

spoonful of barley mush, and head out to find work. The forum is one place you

find work. The forum is one place you might go, not to debate philosophy, but

might go, not to debate philosophy, but to stand around and hope someone needs a

to stand around and hope someone needs a laborer. You're competing with hundreds

laborer. You're competing with hundreds of others. Some are stronger. Some have

of others. Some are stronger. Some have tools. You don't. You're hired maybe to

tools. You don't. You're hired maybe to carry bricks across a construction site.

carry bricks across a construction site. Rome is always being built. Roads,

Rome is always being built. Roads, aqueducts, arches, homes for the rich.

aqueducts, arches, homes for the rich. It is said Augustus found Rome a city of

It is said Augustus found Rome a city of brick and left it a city of marble.

brick and left it a city of marble. You'll be the one dragging that marble,

You'll be the one dragging that marble, sweating and silent. The work is brutal.

sweating and silent. The work is brutal. There are no labor laws, no unions, no

There are no labor laws, no unions, no breaks, no helmets, no

breaks, no helmets, no complaints. If you fall off a scaffold,

complaints. If you fall off a scaffold, you're not given aid. You're given a nod

you're not given aid. You're given a nod and a shove to the side so the next man

and a shove to the side so the next man can take your place. You don't ask

can take your place. You don't ask questions. You don't slow down. The

questions. You don't slow down. The overseer watches with a stick in hand,

overseer watches with a stick in hand, and he doesn't carry it for

and he doesn't carry it for decoration. If you're not lucky enough

decoration. If you're not lucky enough to find a builder's job, maybe you end

to find a builder's job, maybe you end up in the

up in the tanneries. The smell hits you long

tanneries. The smell hits you long before you reach the vats. Animal skins

before you reach the vats. Animal skins soaked in urine and dung to soften them,

soaked in urine and dung to soften them, fermenting in the sun. You'll spend your

fermenting in the sun. You'll spend your day kneede in a mixture that would make

day kneede in a mixture that would make a modern sewage worker gag. Gloves don't

a modern sewage worker gag. Gloves don't exist. You stir with your bare hands.

exist. You stir with your bare hands. The stench clings to you long after you

The stench clings to you long after you leave. And worse, it becomes normal.

leave. And worse, it becomes normal. Still, you persist because if you don't

Still, you persist because if you don't earn a few copper coins today, you won't

earn a few copper coins today, you won't be eating tomorrow.

be eating tomorrow. Your rent on that insula apartment, your

Your rent on that insula apartment, your crumbling, ratridden fire trap, is due

crumbling, ratridden fire trap, is due every few

every few days. Miss a payment and you're out. No

days. Miss a payment and you're out. No notice, no mercy. The landlord has five

notice, no mercy. The landlord has five men waiting to take your place. But

men waiting to take your place. But perhaps you're not a

perhaps you're not a plebeian. Perhaps you're a

plebeian. Perhaps you're a slave. Life somehow is harder still

slave. Life somehow is harder still because now you don't even get the

because now you don't even get the satisfaction of wages. Your body is

satisfaction of wages. Your body is labor and your labor belongs to someone

labor and your labor belongs to someone else. You might be a household slave

else. You might be a household slave owned by a moderately wealthy Roman

owned by a moderately wealthy Roman citizen. If so, your work starts before

citizen. If so, your work starts before sunrise. You're fetching water, cleaning

sunrise. You're fetching water, cleaning floors, preparing meals you'll never

floors, preparing meals you'll never taste. Maybe you're young and educated,

taste. Maybe you're young and educated, assigned to chew to the children, or

assigned to chew to the children, or read aloud to your master. It sounds

read aloud to your master. It sounds better. It isn't. One mistake and you're

better. It isn't. One mistake and you're beaten. If the master's wife is

beaten. If the master's wife is displeased, you're sold. There are no

displeased, you're sold. There are no protections. No court to hear your case.

protections. No court to hear your case. You are property like the stove or the

You are property like the stove or the sandals. Or you're a field slave outside

sandals. Or you're a field slave outside the city toiling in the vast

the city toiling in the vast latifundia. Those enormous agricultural

latifundia. Those enormous agricultural estates that feed Rome's grain hungry

estates that feed Rome's grain hungry stomach. Here there are no roofs, no

stomach. Here there are no roofs, no days off. You wake with the sun and bend

days off. You wake with the sun and bend until it sets. You plant, plow, harvest,

until it sets. You plant, plow, harvest, sweat. No matter how hot, how cold, how

sweat. No matter how hot, how cold, how sick you feel, you work. The overseer

sick you feel, you work. The overseer doesn't care if you collapse. There are

doesn't care if you collapse. There are chains for those who slow down. For

chains for those who slow down. For those who run, there are whips. And for

those who run, there are whips. And for those who rebel, there's crucifixion.

those who rebel, there's crucifixion. a public one along the roads where

a public one along the roads where others can see. Some slaves are trained

others can see. Some slaves are trained for skilled labor, stone carving,

for skilled labor, stone carving, pottery, weaving. But that doesn't make

pottery, weaving. But that doesn't make the whip any less real. It just means

the whip any less real. It just means your blood stains a different kind of

your blood stains a different kind of floor. And what of the women? If you are

floor. And what of the women? If you are a woman, slave or free, you labor, too.

a woman, slave or free, you labor, too. Not on the scaffold or in the forum, but

Not on the scaffold or in the forum, but in quieter ways that bleed just as much.

in quieter ways that bleed just as much. You're grinding grain with a heavy stone

You're grinding grain with a heavy stone handmill. Your arms aching as you turn

handmill. Your arms aching as you turn the quir hour after hour. You make

the quir hour after hour. You make bread, wash clothes, fetch water, tend

bread, wash clothes, fetch water, tend fires, clean, mend, weave. If you're

fires, clean, mend, weave. If you're poor, you might also sell small goods in

poor, you might also sell small goods in the street or offer your services as a

the street or offer your services as a wet nurse or a midwife. In desperate

wet nurse or a midwife. In desperate cases, you might sell yourself.

cases, you might sell yourself. Prostitution is legal in Rome, taxed

Prostitution is legal in Rome, taxed even. It is not a profession of glamour.

even. It is not a profession of glamour. It is

It is survival. There are no toilets in your

survival. There are no toilets in your insula, no

insula, no kitchens. So you make do in the

kitchens. So you make do in the alleyways or public

alleyways or public spaces. Fires are frequent. The stairs

spaces. Fires are frequent. The stairs collapse. Your children are not safe.

collapse. Your children are not safe. Not from hunger, not from illness, not

Not from hunger, not from illness, not from the building

from the building itself. Life expectancy is

itself. Life expectancy is low. Infant mortality is high. Your

low. Infant mortality is high. Your child's best chance is to survive to

child's best chance is to survive to five. Aheads, there are no toilets in

five. Aheads, there are no toilets in your insula, no

your insula, no kitchens. So, you make do in the

kitchens. So, you make do in the alleyways or public spaces. Fires are

alleyways or public spaces. Fires are frequent. The stairs collapse. Your

frequent. The stairs collapse. Your children are not safe.

children are not safe. Not from hunger, not from illness, not

Not from hunger, not from illness, not from the building

from the building itself. Life expectancy is low. Infant

itself. Life expectancy is low. Infant mortality is high. Your child's best

mortality is high. Your child's best chance is to survive to five. After

chance is to survive to five. After that, it's still a coin toss. And yet,

that, it's still a coin toss. And yet, Rome moves on. The senators debate. The

Rome moves on. The senators debate. The aristocrats drink wine on shaded

aristocrats drink wine on shaded terraces. Their banquetss are filled

terraces. Their banquetss are filled with stuffed door mice and honeyed

with stuffed door mice and honeyed dates. Below them, unseen, you sweat,

dates. Below them, unseen, you sweat, bleed, and

bleed, and endure. Your work is invisible, but

endure. Your work is invisible, but indispensable. The aqueducts flow, the

indispensable. The aqueducts flow, the grain ships arrive. The streets are

grain ships arrive. The streets are swept because of people like you.

swept because of people like you. Sometimes the monotony is broken, not

Sometimes the monotony is broken, not for a festival or a feast, but for

for a festival or a feast, but for something worse, a fire, a collapse, a

something worse, a fire, a collapse, a riot. Rome is a tinderbox of labor and

riot. Rome is a tinderbox of labor and inequality.

inequality. The gap between the rich and poor isn't

The gap between the rich and poor isn't just wide, it's

just wide, it's weaponized. If a fire starts in your

weaponized. If a fire starts in your insula, the ladders don't reach the top.

insula, the ladders don't reach the top. There are no fire escapes. You carry

There are no fire escapes. You carry your children, your pots, your life on

your children, your pots, your life on your back and hope the flames stop

your back and hope the flames stop before your floor is reached. Or maybe

before your floor is reached. Or maybe you're caught in a food riot. The grain

you're caught in a food riot. The grain doll is late. The bread is moldy. The

doll is late. The bread is moldy. The people are hungry.

people are hungry. You crowd the forum shouting with the

You crowd the forum shouting with the others demanding your portion. The

others demanding your portion. The guards arrive. Batons, shields, blood in

guards arrive. Batons, shields, blood in the streets. You are dispersed, not

the streets. You are dispersed, not heard. And then there's disease. Filth

heard. And then there's disease. Filth lines the alleys. Latrines overflow. The

lines the alleys. Latrines overflow. The tyber, your drinking source, is also a

tyber, your drinking source, is also a sewer. You wash clothes in it. You bathe

sewer. You wash clothes in it. You bathe in it. You drink from it. Parasites

in it. You drink from it. Parasites thrive. Illness spreads. You know the

thrive. Illness spreads. You know the signs. A fever, the chills, a child

signs. A fever, the chills, a child coughing in the night. There is no

coughing in the night. There is no doctor. No apoccery for your kind. Only

doctor. No apoccery for your kind. Only rest, prayers, and hope. And hope rarely

rest, prayers, and hope. And hope rarely comes. But still you work. Because if

comes. But still you work. Because if you stop, even for a day, the city

you stop, even for a day, the city forgets you. The empire forgets you. And

forgets you. The empire forgets you. And hunger remembers you very, very quickly.

hunger remembers you very, very quickly. This is what it means to work in ancient

This is what it means to work in ancient Rome.

Rome. Not to build wealth or rise in rank or

Not to build wealth or rise in rank or find

find fulfillment, but to survive, to endure,

fulfillment, but to survive, to endure, to hope that perhaps your children will

to hope that perhaps your children will have slightly fewer blisters on their

have slightly fewer blisters on their hands than you did. It is not glamorous.

hands than you did. It is not glamorous. It is not

It is not heroic. It is labor at its most brutal,

heroic. It is labor at its most brutal, its most thankless. The empire was not

its most thankless. The empire was not built by emperors. It was built on the

built by emperors. It was built on the backs of men, women, and children who

backs of men, women, and children who worked until they broke and then were

worked until they broke and then were replaced. Now, as the midday sun climbs

replaced. Now, as the midday sun climbs overhead, your tasks are only half done.

overhead, your tasks are only half done. There is still cleaning, cooking,

There is still cleaning, cooking, tending to the hearth. Carrying water,

tending to the hearth. Carrying water, hauling waste, your stomach growls, your

hauling waste, your stomach growls, your fingers cramp, your feet blister inside

fingers cramp, your feet blister inside sandals that barely hold together. And

sandals that barely hold together. And no one is coming to relieve you. Not

no one is coming to relieve you. Not today. Not

today. Not tomorrow. Welcome to the workday in

tomorrow. Welcome to the workday in ancient Rome. You wouldn't last a single

ancient Rome. You wouldn't last a single one.

one. Congratulations. You've made it past the

Congratulations. You've made it past the market, survived the street toilets, and

market, survived the street toilets, and managed not to get mugged for your

managed not to get mugged for your shoes, if you were even lucky enough to

shoes, if you were even lucky enough to have

have shoes. But now comes the real challenge,

shoes. But now comes the real challenge, going home.

going home. or more accurately, climbing into the

or more accurately, climbing into the creaking, overcrowded, highly flammable

creaking, overcrowded, highly flammable tinder box that you are expected to call

tinder box that you are expected to call home, your

home, your insula. You live in an insula, not

insula. You live in an insula, not because you chose it, but because you're

because you chose it, but because you're poor. And in ancient Rome, poor people

poor. And in ancient Rome, poor people don't have houses. They have

don't have houses. They have layers. Multi-story apartment buildings

layers. Multi-story apartment buildings packed so tightly that sunlight is more

packed so tightly that sunlight is more rumor than reality.

rumor than reality. Your insula is six, maybe seven stories

Your insula is six, maybe seven stories tall, illegal technically, but so is

tall, illegal technically, but so is half the city, and bribes are as Roman

half the city, and bribes are as Roman as

as toas. It's built of wood, clay, and

toas. It's built of wood, clay, and wishful thinking. leaning slightly to

wishful thinking. leaning slightly to one side as if preparing to collapse out

one side as if preparing to collapse out of sheer

of sheer exhaustion. You climb the stairs

exhaustion. You climb the stairs slowly,

slowly, carefully because elevators haven't been

carefully because elevators haven't been invented yet, and the building sways

invented yet, and the building sways when someone sneezes on the second

when someone sneezes on the second floor. The higher you go, the worse it

floor. The higher you go, the worse it gets. Wealthier residents stay on the

gets. Wealthier residents stay on the lower floors. better ventilation, easier

lower floors. better ventilation, easier access, and a lower probability of dying

access, and a lower probability of dying in a fall. You, on the other hand, are

in a fall. You, on the other hand, are up near the roof where the air is thin,

up near the roof where the air is thin, the ceilings are low, and the rats have

the ceilings are low, and the rats have built a local

built a local economy. There are no private rooms, no

economy. There are no private rooms, no insulation, and definitely no plumbing.

insulation, and definitely no plumbing. just a single room shared with your

just a single room shared with your family, your livestock, and any

family, your livestock, and any opportunistic creatures that wander in

opportunistic creatures that wander in through the

through the cracks. The walls are made of mud brick

cracks. The walls are made of mud brick and your door doesn't quite close. But

and your door doesn't quite close. But hey, you have a curtain.

hey, you have a curtain. Luxury. And what about fire safety, you

Luxury. And what about fire safety, you ask? Good question. Fire is your most

ask? Good question. Fire is your most constant faithful threat because every

constant faithful threat because every home needs fire to cook, to light, to

home needs fire to cook, to light, to warm. But there's no chimney, no

warm. But there's no chimney, no ventilation, and no fire coat. Open

ventilation, and no fire coat. Open flames flicker from oil lamps and

flames flicker from oil lamps and cooking halves inches away from the

cooking halves inches away from the wooden beams that hold the whole place

wooden beams that hold the whole place together. One spark, one gust of wind,

together. One spark, one gust of wind, and the entire block could be reduced to

and the entire block could be reduced to ash within the hour.

ash within the hour. Firefighters exist

Firefighters exist technically, but they are mostly slaves

technically, but they are mostly slaves owned by the vagiles, the Roman fire

owned by the vagiles, the Roman fire brigade, and they're more interested in

brigade, and they're more interested in watching your insula burn so they can

watching your insula burn so they can demand a bribe to

demand a bribe to intervene. In 24 CE, Augustus formed the

intervene. In 24 CE, Augustus formed the Viles to stop Rome from burning down

Viles to stop Rome from burning down every third Tuesday. But let's be

every third Tuesday. But let's be honest, they're underpaid, overworked,

honest, they're underpaid, overworked, and famously

and famously corrupt. If you can't pay, they'll let

corrupt. If you can't pay, they'll let it burn and confiscate whatever's left.

it burn and confiscate whatever's left. They call it

They call it enforcement. You call it a robbery with

enforcement. You call it a robbery with extra steps. So, you live in constant

extra steps. So, you live in constant fear of

fear of smoke. Every night, you sniff the air

smoke. Every night, you sniff the air before you sleep, wondering if that's

before you sleep, wondering if that's dinner next door or the beginning of the

dinner next door or the beginning of the end.

end. Your belongings, what few you have, are

Your belongings, what few you have, are always packed for a quick escape. A

always packed for a quick escape. A blanket, a bowl, maybe a small idol of

blanket, a bowl, maybe a small idol of lries or penates. The household gods,

lries or penates. The household gods, who at this point you're hoping accept

who at this point you're hoping accept bribes, too. And then there's the noise.

bribes, too. And then there's the noise. Rome is never quiet. Carts aren't even

Rome is never quiet. Carts aren't even allowed during the day, so they all roll

allowed during the day, so they all roll through the streets at night. The wheels

through the streets at night. The wheels grind like thunder on stone.

grind like thunder on stone. Vendors shout, drunks sing, lovers

Vendors shout, drunks sing, lovers argue, dogs bark, and someone somewhere

argue, dogs bark, and someone somewhere is always playing a flute badly. Privacy

is always playing a flute badly. Privacy is a fantasy. Your neighbors hear

is a fantasy. Your neighbors hear everything, your arguments, your

everything, your arguments, your snoring, your gastrointestinal

snoring, your gastrointestinal tragedies, and in return, you hear

tragedies, and in return, you hear theirs. But maybe it's better than being

theirs. But maybe it's better than being alone, because loneliness isn't common

alone, because loneliness isn't common here. Your insula is crowded beyond

here. Your insula is crowded beyond reason. Dozens of families crammed into

reason. Dozens of families crammed into units smaller than a modern

units smaller than a modern bathroom. Children crying, adults

bathroom. Children crying, adults arguing, and old folks muttering prayers

arguing, and old folks muttering prayers in dark

in dark corners. Sometimes people rent just a

corners. Sometimes people rent just a corner of a room, sleeping upright

corner of a room, sleeping upright against the wall like human coat racks.

against the wall like human coat racks. When it rains, your roof leaks. When it

When it rains, your roof leaks. When it doesn't, it still leaks.

doesn't, it still leaks. The water trickles down the inside

The water trickles down the inside walls, pooling on the floor, feeding the

walls, pooling on the floor, feeding the mold that grows behind your bedmat. The

mold that grows behind your bedmat. The floorboards creek. The walls shift in

floorboards creek. The walls shift in the wind. You develop the uncanny skill

the wind. You develop the uncanny skill of waking up seconds before the stairs

of waking up seconds before the stairs collapse beneath a neighbor. It's not a

collapse beneath a neighbor. It's not a matter of if the building will fall.

matter of if the building will fall. It's a matter of when. And if that

It's a matter of when. And if that wasn't enough, pests.

wasn't enough, pests. Rome's rodent population rivals its

Rome's rodent population rivals its human one. Mice and rats scamper through

human one. Mice and rats scamper through your pantry, if you have one, and leave

your pantry, if you have one, and leave behind little

behind little gifts. Flies buzz thick around your

gifts. Flies buzz thick around your food. Mosquitoes breed in the drainage

food. Mosquitoes breed in the drainage ruts, and then there are the bed bugs.

ruts, and then there are the bed bugs. You scratch yourself roar in your sleep

You scratch yourself roar in your sleep and dream of

and dream of itching. But despite all this, you

itching. But despite all this, you survive. You learn to maneuver the

survive. You learn to maneuver the collapsing staircases like a seasoned

collapsing staircases like a seasoned acrobat. You hang wet laundry on lines

acrobat. You hang wet laundry on lines that sway over the alley, hoping it

that sway over the alley, hoping it dries before thieves pluck it. You carry

dries before thieves pluck it. You carry water up and waste down, always careful

water up and waste down, always careful not to slip in someone else's garbage or

not to slip in someone else's garbage or your

your own. Still, the insula is not your

own. Still, the insula is not your sanctuary. It is a holding pen, a

sanctuary. It is a holding pen, a temporary space between

temporary space between disasters. Fires, floods, famine, and

disasters. Fires, floods, famine, and violence have all passed through this

violence have all passed through this building like regular guests. And yet it

building like regular guests. And yet it stands, just barely. There are moments,

stands, just barely. There are moments, strange and fleeting, where you feel

strange and fleeting, where you feel pride. A neighbor offers you stale

pride. A neighbor offers you stale bread. A child tugs your sleeve to show

bread. A child tugs your sleeve to show you a dead bird. The woman across the

you a dead bird. The woman across the hall sings while stirring her pot of

hall sings while stirring her pot of lentils. You smile, even if just for a

lentils. You smile, even if just for a second, because you all live in the same

second, because you all live in the same cage, facing the same

cage, facing the same storms. Rome is massive, over a million

storms. Rome is massive, over a million people, and the rich live in marble

people, and the rich live in marble palaces with mosaic floors and private

palaces with mosaic floors and private baths. But you know their lives only by

baths. But you know their lives only by rumor. For you, the insul is everything.

rumor. For you, the insul is everything. your bed, your shelter, your prison. And

your bed, your shelter, your prison. And if the building collapses tomorrow, and

if the building collapses tomorrow, and it might, no one will mourn it. The

it might, no one will mourn it. The rubble will be cleared and a new insula

rubble will be cleared and a new insula will rise in its place faster, cheaper,

will rise in its place faster, cheaper, even more

even more dangerous. The cycle continues, and you,

dangerous. The cycle continues, and you, if you're lucky, will rent a corner in

if you're lucky, will rent a corner in that new box and begin again. Because in

that new box and begin again. Because in ancient Rome, the poor don't rest. They

ancient Rome, the poor don't rest. They adapt. They huddle together in the dark,

adapt. They huddle together in the dark, dodging embers and curses, hoping that

dodging embers and curses, hoping that the next collapse doesn't start with

the next collapse doesn't start with them. And if the flames come anyway,

them. And if the flames come anyway, well, you'll grab your blanket, say a

well, you'll grab your blanket, say a quick prayer to the layers, so and run

quick prayer to the layers, so and run like hell. You're parched. You've spent

like hell. You're parched. You've spent the morning toiling in the heat,

the morning toiling in the heat, surrounded by dust, noise, and the

surrounded by dust, noise, and the aggressive scent of humanity in full

aggressive scent of humanity in full ferment. You want water, cold, clean,

ferment. You want water, cold, clean, lifegiving

lifegiving water. So, you do what any Roman would

water. So, you do what any Roman would do. You head for the nearest public

do. You head for the nearest public fountain. Because in ancient Rome, you

fountain. Because in ancient Rome, you don't just turn a faucet and get crisp

don't just turn a faucet and get crisp hydration. You rely on a sprawling,

hydration. You rely on a sprawling, complex, and dangerously vulnerable

complex, and dangerously vulnerable infrastructure of aqueducts, systems,

infrastructure of aqueducts, systems, and communal

and communal outlets. And if any part of that system

outlets. And if any part of that system fails, so do you. Rome's aqueducts were

fails, so do you. Rome's aqueducts were a marvel of

a marvel of engineering. By the first century CE,

engineering. By the first century CE, the city was serviced by 11 massive

the city was serviced by 11 massive aqueducts, some stretching over 50 miles

aqueducts, some stretching over 50 miles from distant mountain springs.

from distant mountain springs. These channels brought in an estimated

These channels brought in an estimated 200 million gallons of water per day.

200 million gallons of water per day. Enough to supply baths, fountains,

Enough to supply baths, fountains, latrines, and private

latrines, and private homes. But here's the catch. Only the

homes. But here's the catch. Only the rich, had indoor plumbing. For the rest

rich, had indoor plumbing. For the rest of the population, meaning you, you line

of the population, meaning you, you line up at one of the many public fountains

up at one of the many public fountains scattered through the city's

scattered through the city's neighborhoods, clay jug in hand, hoping

neighborhoods, clay jug in hand, hoping there's still pressure in the system.

there's still pressure in the system. Now, the good news is the water when it

Now, the good news is the water when it gets there is pretty clean. It's sourced

gets there is pretty clean. It's sourced from springs, and the aqueducts are

from springs, and the aqueducts are designed with constant downward slopes

designed with constant downward slopes to keep it flowing.

to keep it flowing. The bad news is clean is

The bad news is clean is relative. If you live near the terminus

relative. If you live near the terminus of the system, you're getting

of the system, you're getting backwash. Water already passed through

backwash. Water already passed through several baths, toilets, and

several baths, toilets, and industrialies. Add to that the

industrialies. Add to that the occasional sabotage, illegal tapping, or

occasional sabotage, illegal tapping, or natural sediment buildup, and you're not

natural sediment buildup, and you're not exactly sipping spring water. more like

exactly sipping spring water. more like tepid mineral soup with a hint of lead.

tepid mineral soup with a hint of lead. Because yes, many pipes are made of

Because yes, many pipes are made of lead. Not that the Romans understood the

lead. Not that the Romans understood the long-term neurological effects, but if

long-term neurological effects, but if your thoughts start feeling fuzzy and

your thoughts start feeling fuzzy and your coordination's off, don't blame the

your coordination's off, don't blame the gods. Blame the plumbing. And if you

gods. Blame the plumbing. And if you think that's bad, just wait until nature

think that's bad, just wait until nature calls. Most Romans didn't have private

calls. Most Romans didn't have private toilets. Apartment dwellers like you in

toilets. Apartment dwellers like you in your top floor insula use pots, buckets,

your top floor insula use pots, buckets, or chamber pots. When full, the contents

or chamber pots. When full, the contents are dumped out the window or into the

are dumped out the window or into the nearest

nearest gutter. Yes, the famed Roman sewer

gutter. Yes, the famed Roman sewer system, the cloaka maxima, still runs

system, the cloaka maxima, still runs through the city like an underground

through the city like an underground lifeline, but most waste doesn't make it

lifeline, but most waste doesn't make it that far. It sits in the street baking

that far. It sits in the street baking in the sun, mixing with animal

in the sun, mixing with animal droppings, and slowly forming a

droppings, and slowly forming a biological myasma strong enough to peel

biological myasma strong enough to peel paint off a fresco. And if you're

paint off a fresco. And if you're wondering why shoes are so important in

wondering why shoes are so important in Rome, that's your answer. You're not

Rome, that's your answer. You're not walking on

walking on stones. You're walking on yesterday's

stones. You're walking on yesterday's dinner in its final form.

dinner in its final form. There are public latrines, of course,

There are public latrines, of course, and if you're lucky or desperate, you

and if you're lucky or desperate, you can pay a small fee to use one. These

can pay a small fee to use one. These are long stone benches with holes carved

are long stone benches with holes carved in them, positioned over flowing water

in them, positioned over flowing water channels. There's no partition, no door,

channels. There's no partition, no door, just a row of strangers making eye

just a row of strangers making eye contact while trying to pretend nothing

contact while trying to pretend nothing awkward is happening.

awkward is happening. You sit shoulder-to-shoulder with a

You sit shoulder-to-shoulder with a retired centurion and a 12-year-old

retired centurion and a 12-year-old olive vendor, all contributing to the

olive vendor, all contributing to the same stream of civic

same stream of civic solidarity. The Romans believed in

solidarity. The Romans believed in shared

shared experiences. This was one of them.

experiences. This was one of them. Toilet paper, not a thing. Instead, you

Toilet paper, not a thing. Instead, you use a taorium, a communal sponge on a

use a taorium, a communal sponge on a stick kept in a bucket of vinegar water.

stick kept in a bucket of vinegar water. Is exactly as horrifying as it sounds.

Is exactly as horrifying as it sounds. You hope the guy before you had good

You hope the guy before you had good hygiene, he didn't. Nobody does. You

hygiene, he didn't. Nobody does. You wipe. You stand up. You wash your hands

wipe. You stand up. You wash your hands if there's water nearby. And then you

if there's water nearby. And then you move on. Probably to the nearest bath

move on. Probably to the nearest bath house, which thankfully is where things

house, which thankfully is where things get slightly better. The Roman bath

get slightly better. The Roman bath house is part spa, part gym, part social

house is part spa, part gym, part social network, and part biological experiment.

network, and part biological experiment. There are over 800 public bath complexes

There are over 800 public bath complexes in Rome by the time the empire is in

in Rome by the time the empire is in full

full swing. Some are grand like the baths of

swing. Some are grand like the baths of Caracala or Dialesian where marble

Caracala or Dialesian where marble columns saw above mosaic floors. Others

columns saw above mosaic floors. Others are modest neighborhood baths tucked

are modest neighborhood baths tucked between bakeries and brothel. But all

between bakeries and brothel. But all follow roughly the same formula. A

follow roughly the same formula. A changing room

changing room apoitarium. A warm room teepidarium.

apoitarium. A warm room teepidarium. a hot room calderarium and a cold plunge

a hot room calderarium and a cold plunge frigidarium. You strip down, deposit

frigidarium. You strip down, deposit your clothes, good luck if they're still

your clothes, good luck if they're still there when you get back, and start

there when you get back, and start sweating your soul out in the heat. The

sweating your soul out in the heat. The calarium is

calarium is stifling. Heated by hippoc underfloor

stifling. Heated by hippoc underfloor heating fueled by roaring fires, it's a

heating fueled by roaring fires, it's a room designed to make you wish for

room designed to make you wish for death, or at least a breeze.

death, or at least a breeze. You rub your skin with olive oil, not

You rub your skin with olive oil, not soap, because that's what Romans used to

soap, because that's what Romans used to clean. Then you scrape it off with a

clean. Then you scrape it off with a curved metal tool called a stridel,

curved metal tool called a stridel, removing dirt, oil, and several layers

removing dirt, oil, and several layers of

of dignity. There are slaves to assist you

dignity. There are slaves to assist you if you're rich.

if you're rich. If not, you do it yourself while trying

If not, you do it yourself while trying to avoid eye contact with the senator

to avoid eye contact with the senator next to you. Bathous are where deals are

next to you. Bathous are where deals are struck, gossip is traded, and diseases

struck, gossip is traded, and diseases are casually spread. The water isn't

are casually spread. The water isn't drained between users. It's a warm

drained between users. It's a warm microbial soup of

microbial soup of humanity, stirred hourly by the movement

humanity, stirred hourly by the movement of hundreds of unwashed

of hundreds of unwashed bodies. Skin infections, eye diseases,

bodies. Skin infections, eye diseases, intestinal worms, everything is on the

intestinal worms, everything is on the menu. And yet, this is one of the

menu. And yet, this is one of the cleanest places in

cleanest places in Rome. Outside the baths, personal

Rome. Outside the baths, personal hygiene is a gamble.

hygiene is a gamble. You might wash your face daily and your

You might wash your face daily and your feet often, but full body bathing is

feet often, but full body bathing is more of a social event than a daily

more of a social event than a daily necessity. Perfumes and oils cover up

necessity. Perfumes and oils cover up most

most smells. Lice and fleas are common, but

smells. Lice and fleas are common, but tolerated. The concept of germ theory is

tolerated. The concept of germ theory is centuries away, and nobody's counting

centuries away, and nobody's counting bacteria when they're more worried about

bacteria when they're more worried about curses and crop failures. And remember

curses and crop failures. And remember that beautiful aqueduct system. It

that beautiful aqueduct system. It doesn't just supply water. It powers

doesn't just supply water. It powers everything from grain mills to fountains

everything from grain mills to fountains to the flushing mechanisms in some elite

to the flushing mechanisms in some elite toilets. But it's fragile. Earthquakes,

toilets. But it's fragile. Earthquakes, floods, or simple disrepair can shut

floods, or simple disrepair can shut down entire sections of the city. When

down entire sections of the city. When the aqueducts break, Rome doesn't just

the aqueducts break, Rome doesn't just lose drinking water. It loses its public

lose drinking water. It loses its public baths, its sewers, its

baths, its sewers, its fountains. Civilization, as the Romans

fountains. Civilization, as the Romans know it, starts to

know it, starts to unravel. Riots have broken out over

unravel. Riots have broken out over water

water shortages. The emperor himself maintains

shortages. The emperor himself maintains a staff of Aquaria, water engineers,

a staff of Aquaria, water engineers, just to keep the system running. And if

just to keep the system running. And if they fail, you suffer. Because in

they fail, you suffer. Because in ancient Rome, access to clean water

ancient Rome, access to clean water isn't a luxury. It's your last line of

isn't a luxury. It's your last line of defense against cholera, typhoid, and a

defense against cholera, typhoid, and a dozen other slow, filthy

dozen other slow, filthy deaths. By now, your mouth is dry, your

deaths. By now, your mouth is dry, your skin is itchy, and you're beginning to

skin is itchy, and you're beginning to understand that clean is a relative

understand that clean is a relative concept. But here's the twisted part. By

concept. But here's the twisted part. By ancient standards, Rome is doing pretty

ancient standards, Rome is doing pretty well. The city is cleaner than most

well. The city is cleaner than most medieval capitals. It has public

medieval capitals. It has public sanitation, latrines, baths, and even

sanitation, latrines, baths, and even street cleaners. But it's also the

street cleaners. But it's also the biggest city in the ancient world. And

biggest city in the ancient world. And that density breeds

that density breeds disease. Waterbornne illness is rampant.

disease. Waterbornne illness is rampant. Even minor stomach bugs can spiral into

Even minor stomach bugs can spiral into fatal

fatal dehydration. And if you're poor, which

dehydration. And if you're poor, which you are, you can't afford a private

you are, you can't afford a private system or a servant to boil your water.

system or a servant to boil your water. You drink what's available and you pray

You drink what's available and you pray not to be purified but to be spared. So

not to be purified but to be spared. So the next time you fill a glass from the

the next time you fill a glass from the tap or flush a toilet with confidence,

tap or flush a toilet with confidence, remember in Rome your survival depends

remember in Rome your survival depends on gravity, lead pipes, communal

on gravity, lead pipes, communal sponges, and the goodwill of an aqueduct

sponges, and the goodwill of an aqueduct built by a man who probably bribed his

built by a man who probably bribed his way through half the Senate. You don't

way through half the Senate. You don't control your water.

control your water. You just hope it doesn't kill

You just hope it doesn't kill you. And on that hopeful note, it's time

you. And on that hopeful note, it's time to think about

to think about lunch if your stomach can handle it. If

lunch if your stomach can handle it. If you've managed to survive the slop of a

you've managed to survive the slop of a Roman street, dodge dentry from a clay

Roman street, dodge dentry from a clay cup of aqueduct runoff, and work a full

cup of aqueduct runoff, and work a full day in the choking heat of the Sabora

day in the choking heat of the Sabora district without keing over.

district without keing over. You might think a bath would be the one

You might think a bath would be the one mercy this city offers you. And to be

mercy this city offers you. And to be fair, Rome is famous for its baths, but

fair, Rome is famous for its baths, but this isn't a hotel spa with cucumber

this isn't a hotel spa with cucumber water and lowfi music. This is public

water and lowfi music. This is public bathing Roman style. And for a plebeian

bathing Roman style. And for a plebeian like you, it's more about routine

like you, it's more about routine survival than

survival than luxury. Let's start with the setting.

luxury. Let's start with the setting. The fur, massive public bathous funded

The fur, massive public bathous funded by emperors and designed to show off

by emperors and designed to show off imperial grandeur. A sprawling complexes

imperial grandeur. A sprawling complexes of steam, stone, and social

of steam, stone, and social politics. Think gym, barberhop, and

politics. Think gym, barberhop, and social media feed all rolled into one.

social media feed all rolled into one. There are over 800 bathous across Rome

There are over 800 bathous across Rome by the 4th century CE, ranging from

by the 4th century CE, ranging from small baler tucked into neighborhoods to

small baler tucked into neighborhoods to monumental structures like the baths of

monumental structures like the baths of Caracala which could host thousands of

Caracala which could host thousands of bthers a day. These places are

bthers a day. These places are architectural marvels, domed ceilings,

architectural marvels, domed ceilings, mosaic floors, marble

mosaic floors, marble statues. But you're not here to

statues. But you're not here to appreciate the decor. You're here to

appreciate the decor. You're here to clean yourself before your own body odor

clean yourself before your own body odor becomes a public health

becomes a public health issue. Entry usually costs a quadrants,

issue. Entry usually costs a quadrants, the smallest denomination of Roman

the smallest denomination of Roman currency, meaning it's technically

currency, meaning it's technically accessible to almost everyone, even the

accessible to almost everyone, even the poorest

poorest citizens. But just because you can

citizens. But just because you can afford to enter doesn't mean you belong.

afford to enter doesn't mean you belong. The hierarchy follows you through the

The hierarchy follows you through the door.

door. Senators and equestrians recline in the

Senators and equestrians recline in the hot pools and gossip in the tpidarium,

hot pools and gossip in the tpidarium, while slaves like you scrub themselves

while slaves like you scrub themselves with worn out stridles in a corner,

with worn out stridles in a corner, hoping no one important notices you

hoping no one important notices you tracking in street filth. The bathing

tracking in street filth. The bathing process follows a predictable pattern.

process follows a predictable pattern. First, the

First, the apoitarium or changing room. There are

apoitarium or changing room. There are no private

no private lockers. If you don't have a slave to

lockers. If you don't have a slave to guard your tunic and sandals, someone

guard your tunic and sandals, someone might walk off with them. Clothes are

might walk off with them. Clothes are often stolen here, especially from the

often stolen here, especially from the lower classes, and the clothes watchers,

lower classes, and the clothes watchers, mostly enslaved boys, are often in on

mostly enslaved boys, are often in on the

the thefts. Lose your clothing, and you

thefts. Lose your clothing, and you might be walking home barefoot, wrapped

might be walking home barefoot, wrapped in shame and public laughter. Next is

in shame and public laughter. Next is the palestra, the exercise yard.

the palestra, the exercise yard. Yes, before bathing, Romans like to work

Yes, before bathing, Romans like to work up a sweat. You'll see men wrestling,

up a sweat. You'll see men wrestling, lifting weights made of stone, or

lifting weights made of stone, or flinging javelins across the

flinging javelins across the field. Some even box Roman style with

field. Some even box Roman style with metalstudded gloves called

metalstudded gloves called cestus. For the lower classes, this

cestus. For the lower classes, this isn't just sport. It's a place to prove

isn't just sport. It's a place to prove physical

physical worth. But you're not here to make

worth. But you're not here to make friends. You run a few laps, fain a

friends. You run a few laps, fain a squat or two, and head straight for the

squat or two, and head straight for the baths. Your muscles are too sore from

baths. Your muscles are too sore from hauling amphay all

hauling amphay all morning. Inside the baths, you'll move

morning. Inside the baths, you'll move from the cold frigidarium to the warm

from the cold frigidarium to the warm tidarium and finally to the blistering

tidarium and finally to the blistering coldarium where steam clings to the air

coldarium where steam clings to the air and your skin. There's no soap.

and your skin. There's no soap. Instead, Romans coat themselves in olive

Instead, Romans coat themselves in olive oil, then scrape it off with a curved

oil, then scrape it off with a curved bronze tool called a stridel, taking

bronze tool called a stridel, taking dirt and sweat with it. If you're lucky,

dirt and sweat with it. If you're lucky, someone will help you, a friend, or more

someone will help you, a friend, or more likely, another laborer just trying to

likely, another laborer just trying to speed things along. There's no privacy.

speed things along. There's no privacy. You're naked among dozens of others, and

You're naked among dozens of others, and the sounds of laughter, gossip, and

the sounds of laughter, gossip, and grunts echo off the marble

grunts echo off the marble walls. This place is noisy, crowded, and

walls. This place is noisy, crowded, and hot. The air smells like a cocktail of

hot. The air smells like a cocktail of oil, sweat, and

oil, sweat, and mildew. Beneath the mosaic floors, fires

mildew. Beneath the mosaic floors, fires rage in the Hippoc system, an ingenious

rage in the Hippoc system, an ingenious heating network that uses raised floors

heating network that uses raised floors and smoke tunnels to pump warmth into

and smoke tunnels to pump warmth into the calarium. Slaves tend these fires

the calarium. Slaves tend these fires all day, shoveling wood in suffocating

all day, shoveling wood in suffocating rooms with no light and no fresh

rooms with no light and no fresh air. Some die from the heat, but their

air. Some die from the heat, but their deaths make the marble hot to the touch,

deaths make the marble hot to the touch, the cost of Roman

the cost of Roman cleanliness. The water is changed only

cleanliness. The water is changed only occasionally, and filtration is a

occasionally, and filtration is a concept centuries away. You're bathing

concept centuries away. You're bathing in a soup of skin cells, hair, oil, and

in a soup of skin cells, hair, oil, and whatever else floated off the last

whatever else floated off the last hundred

hundred baiters. People relieve themselves in

baiters. People relieve themselves in corners. If someone bleeds during a

corners. If someone bleeds during a rough shave or gets a nose bleed from

rough shave or gets a nose bleed from the heat, that's just another addition

the heat, that's just another addition to the communal

to the communal brew. But in a city where fresh water is

brew. But in a city where fresh water is a gamble and soap is a luxury, this is

a gamble and soap is a luxury, this is the best you'll get. And this isn't just

the best you'll get. And this isn't just hygiene. It's civic

hygiene. It's civic ritual. Here the bath house is where

ritual. Here the bath house is where news

news spreads. Someone whispers that the

spreads. Someone whispers that the emperor was spotted in disguise at the

emperor was spotted in disguise at the theater. Another boasts about his recent

theater. Another boasts about his recent winnings at the

winnings at the Ludus. A freedman offers political

Ludus. A freedman offers political bribes in the tepidarium while a

bribes in the tepidarium while a prostitute waits in the hallway outside

prostitute waits in the hallway outside pretending to be a masseuse.

pretending to be a masseuse. For the poor, this is also a rare space

For the poor, this is also a rare space where you're not fully

where you're not fully excluded. Rich and poor alike sweat

excluded. Rich and poor alike sweat together. For a few minutes, you share

together. For a few minutes, you share the same steam as men who rule

the same steam as men who rule provinces. But there's a danger here,

provinces. But there's a danger here, too. Bodies pressed together in humid

too. Bodies pressed together in humid air make perfect breeding grounds for

air make perfect breeding grounds for illness. The plague of Cyprien, which

illness. The plague of Cyprien, which will one day ravage the empire, spreads

will one day ravage the empire, spreads partly through

partly through bathouses. Skin diseases, infections,

bathouses. Skin diseases, infections, lice, and fevers thrive

lice, and fevers thrive here. The stone benches are often slick

here. The stone benches are often slick with something

with something unidentifiable, and a misstep can send

unidentifiable, and a misstep can send you slipping face first into a tile pool

you slipping face first into a tile pool lined with

lined with strangers. If you're injured, tough

strangers. If you're injured, tough luck.

luck. The medicus in the corner knows less

The medicus in the corner knows less about sanitation than a modern child.

about sanitation than a modern child. Once you've scraped yourself clean and

Once you've scraped yourself clean and suffered the calarium, you move on to

suffered the calarium, you move on to the final step, the massage and oil rub

the final step, the massage and oil rub down. Again, if you can afford

down. Again, if you can afford it, most plebeians skip this, but let's

it, most plebeians skip this, but let's say today is payday and you indulge. A

say today is payday and you indulge. A low ranking attendant slathers you in

low ranking attendant slathers you in another round of olive oil, rubbing your

another round of olive oil, rubbing your limbs with rough hands and muttering in

limbs with rough hands and muttering in Greek or

Greek or Aramaic. The oil stings the cracks on

Aramaic. The oil stings the cracks on your skin, the cuts from the fields, and

your skin, the cuts from the fields, and the raw patch you got last week from

the raw patch you got last week from walking

walking barefoot. You smile through it. The pain

barefoot. You smile through it. The pain is worth the brief illusion of

is worth the brief illusion of luxury. Afterwards, you dry off with a

luxury. Afterwards, you dry off with a scrap of wool. linen is expensive and

scrap of wool. linen is expensive and return to your street clothes now damp

return to your street clothes now damp with sweat. You check the hooks in the

with sweat. You check the hooks in the appitium. Miraculously, your tunic is

appitium. Miraculously, your tunic is still there. You step outside, blinking

still there. You step outside, blinking against the sun. You're clean, sort of,

against the sun. You're clean, sort of, but the streets are still thick with

but the streets are still thick with dust, dung, and the smell of salted

dust, dung, and the smell of salted fish. Within 5 minutes, you're sweating

fish. Within 5 minutes, you're sweating again. Dirt clings to your sandals. A

again. Dirt clings to your sandals. A child vomits near your foot. The bath

child vomits near your foot. The bath was never meant to last. Bathing in

was never meant to last. Bathing in ancient Rome is not about cleanliness

ancient Rome is not about cleanliness the way we think of it today. It's about

the way we think of it today. It's about participation, about appearing civilized

participation, about appearing civilized in a society obsessed with

in a society obsessed with cultists, grooming, display, and public

cultists, grooming, display, and public performance. To be dirty is to be low,

performance. To be dirty is to be low, invisible.

invisible. But to walk out of the firmy, hair damp,

But to walk out of the firmy, hair damp, oil glistening on your shoulders, is to

oil glistening on your shoulders, is to momentarily rise above the grime of your

momentarily rise above the grime of your station. Even if you'll return tomorrow

station. Even if you'll return tomorrow to the same bucket of water and reused

to the same bucket of water and reused stridel, and if you think this is

stridel, and if you think this is somehow indulgent, remember for women,

somehow indulgent, remember for women, bathing was even more complicated.

bathing was even more complicated. separate hours or entire buildings were

separate hours or entire buildings were set aside and while some enjoyed similar

set aside and while some enjoyed similar routines, many were kept at home bathing

routines, many were kept at home bathing with rainwater in cramped

with rainwater in cramped quarters. For enslaved women, bathing

quarters. For enslaved women, bathing was sometimes done publicly by force

was sometimes done publicly by force under the scrutiny of learing men or

under the scrutiny of learing men or cruel mistresses.

cruel mistresses. For the wealthy, a balnium, a private

For the wealthy, a balnium, a private bath inside their villa, ensured you

bath inside their villa, ensured you never had to mix with the

never had to mix with the masses, heated by personal hypocost,

masses, heated by personal hypocost, scented with imported oils from Arabia

scented with imported oils from Arabia or Egypt, attended by silent slaves.

or Egypt, attended by silent slaves. But for the rest of Rome, the laborers,

But for the rest of Rome, the laborers, the couriers, the bakers, the sewer

the couriers, the bakers, the sewer cleaners, the public bath house was a

cleaners, the public bath house was a place of renewal, exhaustion, gossip,

place of renewal, exhaustion, gossip, and

and risk. You went not to be healed, but to

risk. You went not to be healed, but to maintain the appearance of being human

maintain the appearance of being human in a city that treats humanity like a

in a city that treats humanity like a fleeting

fleeting luxury. The bath was not an escape. It

luxury. The bath was not an escape. It was a pause from the heat, the stink,

was a pause from the heat, the stink, the fear, and the endless

the fear, and the endless labor. It was a few minutes of semi

labor. It was a few minutes of semi clean restbite before stepping back into

clean restbite before stepping back into the furnace of Roman life. And with that

the furnace of Roman life. And with that fleeting relief, you head back out onto

fleeting relief, you head back out onto the cobbled

the cobbled road. Your feet still

road. Your feet still ache. Your skin is

ache. Your skin is raw. And tomorrow, if you're lucky,

raw. And tomorrow, if you're lucky, you'll do it all again. Let's talk about

you'll do it all again. Let's talk about Roman food. Not the banquetss of

Roman food. Not the banquetss of emperors reclining on silk cushions with

emperors reclining on silk cushions with figs dripping in honey and servants

figs dripping in honey and servants fanning them with peacock

fanning them with peacock feathers. You are not an emperor. You're

feathers. You are not an emperor. You're not even close.

not even close. You are in fact a

You are in fact a plebbeian, a workingclass Roman in a

plebbeian, a workingclass Roman in a cramped insula where breakfast is less

cramped insula where breakfast is less about indulgence and more about

about indulgence and more about surviving another day with enough

surviving another day with enough calories to walk, work, and not

calories to walk, work, and not collapse. So, let's set the table. And

collapse. So, let's set the table. And by table, we mean whatever flat surface

by table, we mean whatever flat surface you can find that isn't covered in soot,

you can find that isn't covered in soot, bugs, or yesterday's crumbs. You eat

bugs, or yesterday's crumbs. You eat with your hands because forks are still

with your hands because forks are still a few centuries from

a few centuries from existing. Knives, sure, if you have one,

existing. Knives, sure, if you have one, but even then it's mostly for cutting

but even then it's mostly for cutting bread or defending your lunch from rats.

bread or defending your lunch from rats. Your daily diet, and let's be generous

Your daily diet, and let's be generous calling it that, is centered on one

calling it that, is centered on one thing, grain. Specifically, a kind of

thing, grain. Specifically, a kind of wheat called far spelt, and a lot of it.

wheat called far spelt, and a lot of it. You eat it boiled into pulse. A porridge

You eat it boiled into pulse. A porridge as bland as it

as bland as it sounds. Think of it as the ancient Roman

sounds. Think of it as the ancient Roman version of oatmeal, only without sugar,

version of oatmeal, only without sugar, milk, or any flavor at all. If you're

milk, or any flavor at all. If you're lucky, it's

lucky, it's salted. If you're really lucky, it has

salted. If you're really lucky, it has bits of onion or a drizzle of fish sauce

bits of onion or a drizzle of fish sauce known as garam to liven things up.

known as garam to liven things up. That's right, fermented fish innards.

That's right, fermented fish innards. It was the ketchup of the ancient world.

It was the ketchup of the ancient world. It smelled like rot and sea water and

It smelled like rot and sea water and they poured it on

they poured it on everything. Bread, when you can get it,

everything. Bread, when you can get it, is dense, coarse, and made from stone

is dense, coarse, and made from stone ground flour that might contain trace

ground flour that might contain trace amounts of actual

amounts of actual stone. Dental care isn't exactly booming

stone. Dental care isn't exactly booming right now, so every bite is a gamble

right now, so every bite is a gamble between hunger and chipping a

between hunger and chipping a tooth. But bread is sustenance. And if

tooth. But bread is sustenance. And if you're a laborer or dock worker, it's

you're a laborer or dock worker, it's essential. Rome even instituted a grain

essential. Rome even instituted a grain doll, an owner, to distribute grain to

doll, an owner, to distribute grain to the poor. Without it, many urban

the poor. Without it, many urban citizens would simply starve. If you're

citizens would simply starve. If you're on the list, you get your rations. If

on the list, you get your rations. If not, well, you'd better hope you have a

not, well, you'd better hope you have a skill, a patron, or a very forgiving

skill, a patron, or a very forgiving neighbor. As for vegetables, they're

neighbor. As for vegetables, they're seasonal and mostly whatever grows

seasonal and mostly whatever grows nearby. Cabbage, lentils, chickpeas,

nearby. Cabbage, lentils, chickpeas, leaks, the

leaks, the basics. None of it is particularly

basics. None of it is particularly glamorous, but it keeps scurvy at

glamorous, but it keeps scurvy at bay. You might stew them into something

bay. You might stew them into something vaguely edible if you have olive oil or

vaguely edible if you have olive oil or herbs, but again, you're not dining in

herbs, but again, you're not dining in the villa of a senator.

the villa of a senator. You're working with what you can afford

You're working with what you can afford from the forum stalls or grow in cracked

from the forum stalls or grow in cracked pots on the rooftop. And don't expect

pots on the rooftop. And don't expect variety. You eat the same things over

variety. You eat the same things over and over, day after day, until famine

and over, day after day, until famine comes and then you don't eat at all.

comes and then you don't eat at all. Meat, that's not for people like you.

Meat, that's not for people like you. It's expensive.

It's expensive. When it does enter your life, it's

When it does enter your life, it's likely from religious festivals, public

likely from religious festivals, public feasts, or offcuts scavenged from

feasts, or offcuts scavenged from butchers. More often than not, it's

butchers. More often than not, it's organ meat, boiled liver, intestines,

organ meat, boiled liver, intestines, trotters, lungs, the parts the wealthy

trotters, lungs, the parts the wealthy don't want. You learn to chew fast and

don't want. You learn to chew fast and swallow faster. Spoilage is always a

swallow faster. Spoilage is always a concern.

concern. There's no refrigeration and what passes

There's no refrigeration and what passes for fresh is heavily reliant on how

for fresh is heavily reliant on how tolerant your stomach is. If you live

tolerant your stomach is. If you live near the Tyber, the smell from the open

near the Tyber, the smell from the open air markets might turn you vegetarian by

air markets might turn you vegetarian by necessity. Let's talk about the market,

necessity. Let's talk about the market, the

the Melum. It's loud, chaotic, and covered

Melum. It's loud, chaotic, and covered in

in flies. Meat hangs from hooks. Slabs of

flies. Meat hangs from hooks. Slabs of salted pork and strips of dried fish

salted pork and strips of dried fish curl in the sun.

curl in the sun. Vendors shout, dogs bark, beggars

Vendors shout, dogs bark, beggars loiter, and pickpockets glide through

loiter, and pickpockets glide through crowds like

crowds like ghosts. You can buy fish, fruit, wine,

ghosts. You can buy fish, fruit, wine, beans, nuts, or eggs if you can afford

beans, nuts, or eggs if you can afford them. Everything is haggled for, weighed

them. Everything is haggled for, weighed on crooked scales and bagged in baskets

on crooked scales and bagged in baskets or cloths you bring

or cloths you bring yourself. Your coin pouch, tied tight

yourself. Your coin pouch, tied tight beneath your tunic, thumps nervously

beneath your tunic, thumps nervously with every transaction.

with every transaction. One bad purchase and you don't eat

One bad purchase and you don't eat tomorrow. Water, like everything else,

tomorrow. Water, like everything else, is

is complicated. Rome is famous for its

complicated. Rome is famous for its aqueducts, but the water doesn't always

aqueducts, but the water doesn't always make it to the

make it to the poor. You might have access to a public

poor. You might have access to a public fountain where the water is cleanish, or

fountain where the water is cleanish, or you might be drawing from a well near

you might be drawing from a well near the latrines where it's not. To be safe,

the latrines where it's not. To be safe, many Romans, including children, drink

many Romans, including children, drink diluted

diluted wine. Not to get drunk, but because

wine. Not to get drunk, but because alcohol kills germs better than wishful

alcohol kills germs better than wishful thinking. A mix of water and cheap wine

thinking. A mix of water and cheap wine called Pusca. Is the hydration of the

called Pusca. Is the hydration of the masses. It tastes like vinegar and hope.

masses. It tastes like vinegar and hope. Now about those days when food runs out.

Now about those days when food runs out. Famine is never far. a bad harvest in

Famine is never far. a bad harvest in Egypt, a delay in grain shipments, or a

Egypt, a delay in grain shipments, or a corrupt official skimming off the top,

corrupt official skimming off the top, and the city's food supply

and the city's food supply collapses. Bread prices triple. Riots

collapses. Bread prices triple. Riots break out. People storm bakeries, loot

break out. People storm bakeries, loot warehouses, and sometimes lynch the

warehouses, and sometimes lynch the bakers. The emperor is expected to

bakers. The emperor is expected to intervene.

intervene. If he doesn't, he risks becoming lunch

If he doesn't, he risks becoming lunch himself. Politically, if not literally.

himself. Politically, if not literally. During famine, you survive on scraps,

During famine, you survive on scraps, moldy crusts, spoiled olives, stale

moldy crusts, spoiled olives, stale beans, weeds from the roadside. You

beans, weeds from the roadside. You might boil bark or grind acorns. Pets

might boil bark or grind acorns. Pets vanish. The rats get smart. The pigeons

vanish. The rats get smart. The pigeons disappear. People eat things they

disappear. People eat things they shouldn't. And when the plague follows

shouldn't. And when the plague follows the famine, as it often does, hunger

the famine, as it often does, hunger turns to

turns to disease. Starvation weakens the body,

disease. Starvation weakens the body, and Rome's many illnesses move in like

and Rome's many illnesses move in like uninvited

uninvited guests. There's another layer to all

guests. There's another layer to all this

this class. Because while you're trying to

class. Because while you're trying to stretch a hunk of rye bread for two

stretch a hunk of rye bread for two days, the elite are feasting. In the

days, the elite are feasting. In the villas of the Palatine Hill, couches

villas of the Palatine Hill, couches line banquet

line banquet halls. Slaves serve platters of roasted

halls. Slaves serve platters of roasted dorm ice mice, honeylazed songbirds,

dorm ice mice, honeylazed songbirds, oysters, figs, and dates soaked in wine.

oysters, figs, and dates soaked in wine. They sip from silver goblets. They toss

They sip from silver goblets. They toss bones to the floor. They bathe between

bones to the floor. They bathe between courses. For them, food is a

courses. For them, food is a performance. For you, it's a necessity

performance. For you, it's a necessity that never stretches far enough. Even in

that never stretches far enough. Even in death, food tells the truth. Wealthy

death, food tells the truth. Wealthy Romans are buried with elaborateerary

Romans are buried with elaborateerary feasts, their tombs adorned with

feasts, their tombs adorned with carvings of banquetss and gods pouring

carvings of banquetss and gods pouring wine. The poor, maybe a piece of bread

wine. The poor, maybe a piece of bread at your grave if your family can spare

at your grave if your family can spare it. Maybe a final sip of pusca to send

it. Maybe a final sip of pusca to send you off. In religious festivals, food

you off. In religious festivals, food becomes communal. Satinelia, for

becomes communal. Satinelia, for instance, when masters serve slaves and

instance, when masters serve slaves and everyone feasts together. But those days

everyone feasts together. But those days are rare and mostly symbolic. For the

are rare and mostly symbolic. For the rest of the year, the lines are clear.

rest of the year, the lines are clear. Who eats well and who

Who eats well and who begs? Let's not forget storage and

begs? Let's not forget storage and spoilage. You keep food in a clay jars

spoilage. You keep food in a clay jars sealed with resin or in baskets hung

sealed with resin or in baskets hung from ceilings to deter rats. Preserving

from ceilings to deter rats. Preserving food means salting, smoking, drying, or

food means salting, smoking, drying, or steeping it in vinegar. Still,

steeping it in vinegar. Still, everything has a clock. Bread molds

everything has a clock. Bread molds quickly in the Roman humidity. Olives go

quickly in the Roman humidity. Olives go rancid. Meat turns in the sun. Every

rancid. Meat turns in the sun. Every meal is a gamble. Every bite is a risk.

meal is a gamble. Every bite is a risk. Even the insects eat well. Grain is

Even the insects eat well. Grain is stored in granaries, which are dark,

stored in granaries, which are dark, warm, and crawling with beetles and

warm, and crawling with beetles and moths. If you're lucky, you get your

moths. If you're lucky, you get your ration before it's

ration before it's infested. If not, well, extra

infested. If not, well, extra protein. Most people don't even pick

protein. Most people don't even pick them out anymore. They're too small to

them out anymore. They're too small to matter. Children grow up with hunger.

matter. Children grow up with hunger. They learn to wait their turn. They

They learn to wait their turn. They learn which vendors give better scraps

learn which vendors give better scraps and which ones chase them away with

and which ones chase them away with sticks. Their bellies are often bloated

sticks. Their bellies are often bloated from malnutrition. their eyes dull.

from malnutrition. their eyes dull. Parents do what they can. Sometimes it

Parents do what they can. Sometimes it means stealing. Sometimes it means

means stealing. Sometimes it means begging. And sometimes it means going

begging. And sometimes it means going without so the youngest can eat. Yet

without so the youngest can eat. Yet through all of this, food is still

through all of this, food is still culture. Even in scarcity, Romans cling

culture. Even in scarcity, Romans cling to tradition. They bake religious cakes,

to tradition. They bake religious cakes, prepare funeral meals, mark solstesses

prepare funeral meals, mark solstesses with special dishes.

with special dishes. They cook with pride, share what little

They cook with pride, share what little they have, and pass down recipes, thin,

they have, and pass down recipes, thin, watery ones, from mother to daughter,

watery ones, from mother to daughter, father to son. The tools are crude, the

father to son. The tools are crude, the ingredients simple, but the effort is

ingredients simple, but the effort is there. In graffiti on the walls of

there. In graffiti on the walls of Pompei, we find complaints about bad

Pompei, we find complaints about bad bread, insults to tavern keepers, even

bread, insults to tavern keepers, even jokes about watery wine. Food was a

jokes about watery wine. Food was a common frustration. a common joy, a

common frustration. a common joy, a common reality. You might not eat well,

common reality. You might not eat well, but you ate Roman and that meant

but you ate Roman and that meant something. So, as you sit down with your

something. So, as you sit down with your cracked bowl of pools, crust of tough

cracked bowl of pools, crust of tough bread, and cup of lukewarm

bread, and cup of lukewarm pusca, you're not just

pusca, you're not just surviving. You're participating in the

surviving. You're participating in the daily struggle that define the lower

daily struggle that define the lower classes of the empire.

classes of the empire. You eat what you can when you can and

You eat what you can when you can and pray for the anona to arrive on

pray for the anona to arrive on time because if it doesn't, your next

time because if it doesn't, your next meal might not come at

meal might not come at all. And now that you're fed sort of,

all. And now that you're fed sort of, it's time to go earn the next

it's time to go earn the next one. Because in ancient

one. Because in ancient Rome, hunger is

Rome, hunger is patient. But it always comes back.

patient. But it always comes back. Religion in ancient Rome isn't something

Religion in ancient Rome isn't something you do once a week. It's not a quiet

you do once a week. It's not a quiet personal affair whispered in pews or

personal affair whispered in pews or practiced behind closed

practiced behind closed doors. In Rome, religion is everywhere

doors. In Rome, religion is everywhere all the time. It's baked into the bricks

all the time. It's baked into the bricks of the forum, painted on the walls of

of the forum, painted on the walls of your insula, and written into the very

your insula, and written into the very schedule of your day. You don't choose

schedule of your day. You don't choose to

to participate. You live inside it. and it

participate. You live inside it. and it watches you like the state because in

watches you like the state because in many ways it is the state. You wake

many ways it is the state. You wake before dawn and already the gods are in

before dawn and already the gods are in your

your thoughts. Before stepping outside you

thoughts. Before stepping outside you mutter a quick offering to the household

mutter a quick offering to the household spirits, the lers and

spirits, the lers and penates. These are the guardians of your

penates. These are the guardians of your half and pantry. The invisible figures

half and pantry. The invisible figures that ensure your home doesn't fall

that ensure your home doesn't fall apart. There's no food left to burn for

apart. There's no food left to burn for them this morning. Just a crumb of dried

them this morning. Just a crumb of dried bread and a halfhearted gesture of

bread and a halfhearted gesture of thanks. But it's the thought that

thanks. But it's the thought that counts. Sort of. You know the

counts. Sort of. You know the stories. Neglect the household gods and

stories. Neglect the household gods and your family could suffer illness,

your family could suffer illness, injury, or general

injury, or general misfortune. It doesn't matter if you

misfortune. It doesn't matter if you believe it. Enough bad luck strung

believe it. Enough bad luck strung together starts to feel like divine

together starts to feel like divine punishment and soon you're scrubbing the

punishment and soon you're scrubbing the floor and lighting incense to try to win

floor and lighting incense to try to win back their favor. Outside the street is

back their favor. Outside the street is already alive with sounds. Hawkers bark

already alive with sounds. Hawkers bark from market stalls. Children dart

from market stalls. Children dart between columns and smoke rises in lazy

between columns and smoke rises in lazy curls from tiny shrines at the corners.

curls from tiny shrines at the corners. These aren't just decorative. These are

These aren't just decorative. These are altars. Small open-faced boxes are

altars. Small open-faced boxes are holding flickering lamps, burnt

holding flickering lamps, burnt offerings, and the thick scent of

offerings, and the thick scent of sacrificed animal fat. You pass them on

sacrificed animal fat. You pass them on your way to work. Maybe bow slightly,

your way to work. Maybe bow slightly, maybe don't. Someone always

maybe don't. Someone always notices. Piety is social currency in

notices. Piety is social currency in Rome. Fail to observe the rights, and

Rome. Fail to observe the rights, and your neighbors won't just talk. They

your neighbors won't just talk. They might accuse. The Roman pantheon is

might accuse. The Roman pantheon is crowded. Jupiter rules the skies with

crowded. Jupiter rules the skies with thunder and

thunder and ego. Juno watches over marriage, whether

ego. Juno watches over marriage, whether it's miserable or not. Mars is the god

it's miserable or not. Mars is the god of war and masculinity. And Vesta keeps

of war and masculinity. And Vesta keeps the sacred flame of Rome burning. A job

the sacred flame of Rome burning. A job so important that her priestesses, the

so important that her priestesses, the vestal virgins, are chosen as children

vestal virgins, are chosen as children and punished by death if they break

and punished by death if they break their

their vows. That's the world you live in. One

vows. That's the world you live in. One where virginity, fire, and political

where virginity, fire, and political stability are all bound in a single

stability are all bound in a single thread and where the divine is never

thread and where the divine is never more than a few footsteps away. Religion

more than a few footsteps away. Religion isn't optional. It's

isn't optional. It's calendarized. Over 100 official festival

calendarized. Over 100 official festival days a year. Lupacelia, where half naked

days a year. Lupacelia, where half naked men chase women through the streets in

men chase women through the streets in the name of fertility.

the name of fertility. Satinelia, where slaves and masters

Satinelia, where slaves and masters switch roles for a day in a wild upside

switch roles for a day in a wild upside down mockery of freedom. And then there

down mockery of freedom. And then there are the Consuelia, Venalia, Robigalia,

are the Consuelia, Venalia, Robigalia, and more. Festivals to crops, harvests,

and more. Festivals to crops, harvests, rain, sun, and even mildew. Yes, mildew.

rain, sun, and even mildew. Yes, mildew. Because in Rome, every natural force has

Because in Rome, every natural force has a name, a temple, and a priest. You as a

a name, a temple, and a priest. You as a poor plebbeian or freedman can't afford

poor plebbeian or freedman can't afford expensive sacrifices, but the elite can,

expensive sacrifices, but the elite can, and they make sure you know it. Wealthy

and they make sure you know it. Wealthy patrons slaughter balls at the temples,

patrons slaughter balls at the temples, their robes splashed with blood, incense

their robes splashed with blood, incense thick in the air, while you stand at the

thick in the air, while you stand at the back, clutching your small votive

back, clutching your small votive figurine, hoping the gods can hear your

figurine, hoping the gods can hear your prayer from that far away. The ritual

prayer from that far away. The ritual language is often old Latin.

language is often old Latin. Barely

Barely understandable, even to those reciting

understandable, even to those reciting it. But the spectacle, that's clear

it. But the spectacle, that's clear enough. Religion is theater. It always

enough. Religion is theater. It always has been. Can you take part when you

has been. Can you take part when you can? Maybe your guild hosts a minor

can? Maybe your guild hosts a minor ceremony. Maybe you help lead a

ceremony. Maybe you help lead a procession through the street for a

procession through the street for a local

local deity. These rituals are public and

deity. These rituals are public and communal, but also strategic.

communal, but also strategic. They reinforce your place in society,

They reinforce your place in society, remind you of who rules, and give you a

remind you of who rules, and give you a sense that however lowly your station,

sense that however lowly your station, you're at least part of something

you're at least part of something bigger. Of course, not everyone thinks

bigger. Of course, not everyone thinks alike. By the first century CE, the

alike. By the first century CE, the Roman world is already deeply diverse.

Roman world is already deeply diverse. Foreign cults have seeped into the

Foreign cults have seeped into the cracks of the empire. You might hear

cracks of the empire. You might hear whispers of a mysterious eastern goddess

whispers of a mysterious eastern goddess named Isis, whose followers wear white

named Isis, whose followers wear white and chant in candle lit

and chant in candle lit rooms, or a strange sun god from Persia,

rooms, or a strange sun god from Persia, Miffus, whose rights involve secret

Miffus, whose rights involve secret underground gatherings and symbolic

underground gatherings and symbolic meals of blood and

meals of blood and bread. These religions are sometimes

bread. These religions are sometimes tolerated, sometimes outlawed, and

tolerated, sometimes outlawed, and always watched with suspicion.

always watched with suspicion. Romans value order above

Romans value order above all. Anything that smells of disloyalty

all. Anything that smells of disloyalty or secrecy is dangerous. That's why when

or secrecy is dangerous. That's why when Christianity begins to spread, it

Christianity begins to spread, it doesn't just make the authorities

doesn't just make the authorities nervous. It enrages them. A religion

nervous. It enrages them. A religion without

without sacrifices, a god without a face, a

sacrifices, a god without a face, a group that refuses to honor Jupiter or

group that refuses to honor Jupiter or Caesar, that's not just impious, that's

Caesar, that's not just impious, that's treasonous.

treasonous. But you in this moment probably don't

But you in this moment probably don't think about

think about Christianity. It's still a strange

Christianity. It's still a strange foreign sect on the fringes of Roman

foreign sect on the fringes of Roman cities. You've heard of them maybe, but

cities. You've heard of them maybe, but your life is ruled by the gods of your

your life is ruled by the gods of your ancestors, the expectations of your

ancestors, the expectations of your community, and the sheer momentum of

community, and the sheer momentum of tradition. Superstition is the second

tradition. Superstition is the second skin of daily life. You avoid walking

skin of daily life. You avoid walking under ladders, not because it's unsafe,

under ladders, not because it's unsafe, but because it invites bad luck. A black

but because it invites bad luck. A black dog seen at night, omen of death, a

dog seen at night, omen of death, a sneeze. You immediately say solve, not

sneeze. You immediately say solve, not out of politeness, but to protect the

out of politeness, but to protect the soul from escaping. You know the signs.

soul from escaping. You know the signs. A bird flies to the left. Bad news.

A bird flies to the left. Bad news. Thunder after dusk. Don't travel. Dreams

Thunder after dusk. Don't travel. Dreams are interpreted. Endtrails are read and

are interpreted. Endtrails are read and omens are everywhere. Even the emperors

omens are everywhere. Even the emperors consult orgs before battles or

consult orgs before battles or decisions. And it's not just the living

decisions. And it's not just the living you worry about. The dead don't stay

you worry about. The dead don't stay quiet. Each year during the

quiet. Each year during the Leoria, you perform rights to keep the

Leoria, you perform rights to keep the restless spirits lemurs from haunting

restless spirits lemurs from haunting your home.

your home. You toss black beans over your shoulder

You toss black beans over your shoulder at night while chanting ancient words,

at night while chanting ancient words, hoping it satisfies the

hoping it satisfies the shades. If you forget, well, don't be

shades. If you forget, well, don't be surprised if things go missing, or if

surprised if things go missing, or if the air turns sour in the dark. The

the air turns sour in the dark. The temples are grand, of course, massive

temples are grand, of course, massive columns, gleaming statues, and priests

columns, gleaming statues, and priests in embroidered togas.

in embroidered togas. But your real religion happens in the

But your real religion happens in the alleyways, kitchens, and bedroom corners

alleyways, kitchens, and bedroom corners of the working poor. You leave coins at

of the working poor. You leave coins at roadside shrines. You tie ribbons to

roadside shrines. You tie ribbons to trees. You mutter charms when your child

trees. You mutter charms when your child coughs too hard. You wear amulets around

coughs too hard. You wear amulets around your neck to protect against the evil

your neck to protect against the evil eye. A mosaic on your doorstep might

eye. A mosaic on your doorstep might feature a dog or a phus or both to ward

feature a dog or a phus or both to ward off danger.

off danger. To a modern viewer, all this might seem

To a modern viewer, all this might seem superstitious or quaint. But to you,

superstitious or quaint. But to you, it's life or death. Without antibiotics,

it's life or death. Without antibiotics, germ theory, or psychology, you turn to

germ theory, or psychology, you turn to the gods for explanation. Why did the

the gods for explanation. Why did the fire start? Why did your baby die in the

fire start? Why did your baby die in the night? Why did the grain spoil in

night? Why did the grain spoil in storage? The gods are fickle. You didn't

storage? The gods are fickle. You didn't do enough. You forgot an offering. You

do enough. You forgot an offering. You used the wrong words. Someone in your

used the wrong words. Someone in your building insulted Mercury and now

building insulted Mercury and now everyone pays the price. And yet,

everyone pays the price. And yet, despite all this, religion gives you

despite all this, religion gives you meaning, a structure, a rhythm, a way to

meaning, a structure, a rhythm, a way to understand the chaos. When your child is

understand the chaos. When your child is born, you present it to the genius of

born, you present it to the genius of the family. When you marry, you light

the family. When you marry, you light the ceremonial torch and bind hands with

the ceremonial torch and bind hands with sacred ribbons. When someone dies, you

sacred ribbons. When someone dies, you mourn for the prescribed number of days,

mourn for the prescribed number of days, burn their possessions, and whisper

burn their possessions, and whisper their name until your throat

their name until your throat goes. Because in Rome, remembering the

goes. Because in Rome, remembering the dead is how you keep them alive. To be

dead is how you keep them alive. To be forgotten is the true death. That's why

forgotten is the true death. That's why inscriptions fill the walls of tombs in

inscriptions fill the walls of tombs in Colombaria, names carved into stone so

Colombaria, names carved into stone so that someone, anyone, might remember

that someone, anyone, might remember them. And so you keep praying, offering,

them. And so you keep praying, offering, watching, not because the gods are kind,

watching, not because the gods are kind, but because they are

but because they are powerful. Not because the rituals are

powerful. Not because the rituals are easy, but because they're

easy, but because they're necessary. You live in a city where

necessary. You live in a city where divine favor and political favor are

divine favor and political favor are nearly the same

nearly the same thing. Where neglecting a festival could

thing. Where neglecting a festival could be blamed for an earthquake. Where

be blamed for an earthquake. Where sacrifice might avert plague or not. But

sacrifice might avert plague or not. But better to try than be accused of causing

better to try than be accused of causing it. The day winds down. You pass another

it. The day winds down. You pass another shrine, this one dedicated to Janus, the

shrine, this one dedicated to Janus, the two-faced god of beginnings and endings.

two-faced god of beginnings and endings. You

You stop. You

stop. You bow. You whisper a few words you barely

bow. You whisper a few words you barely understand. Because the gods are

understand. Because the gods are everywhere in this

everywhere in this city and in ancient Rome. The last thing

city and in ancient Rome. The last thing you want to do is be noticed by one of

you want to do is be noticed by one of them. The sun is low on the horizon now,

them. The sun is low on the horizon now, casting long shadows across the uneven,

casting long shadows across the uneven, cobbled streets of Rome. The smells of

cobbled streets of Rome. The smells of the city, sewage, olive oil, smoke, and

the city, sewage, olive oil, smoke, and sweat cling heavier in the cool evening

sweat cling heavier in the cool evening air. But you don't have time to notice.

air. But you don't have time to notice. You're about to learn what it means to

You're about to learn what it means to live in a world where justice isn't

live in a world where justice isn't blind. It just chooses not to see people

blind. It just chooses not to see people like you as a plebeian, a freedman, or

like you as a plebeian, a freedman, or worse, a slave. You exist at the very

worse, a slave. You exist at the very bottom of the Roman legal ladder. The

bottom of the Roman legal ladder. The law is not an abstract idea. It's a tool

law is not an abstract idea. It's a tool of control written by the elite to

of control written by the elite to protect property, preserve hierarchy,

protect property, preserve hierarchy, and make examples out of the lower

and make examples out of the lower classes. Forget equal rights.

classes. Forget equal rights. Justice in ancient Rome is

Justice in ancient Rome is transactional. If you lack wealth or

transactional. If you lack wealth or connections, the law is less a shield

connections, the law is less a shield and more a weapon pointed squarely at

and more a weapon pointed squarely at your

your neck. Let's say someone accuses you of

neck. Let's say someone accuses you of theft. Maybe a fellow vendor claims

theft. Maybe a fellow vendor claims you've shortch changed him at the

you've shortch changed him at the market. Maybe a neighbor thinks you

market. Maybe a neighbor thinks you stole a loaf of bread or someone's

stole a loaf of bread or someone's sandals went missing and your name was

sandals went missing and your name was mentioned. That's all it

mentioned. That's all it takes. You're hauled in for questioning

takes. You're hauled in for questioning and the burden of proof doesn't fall on

and the burden of proof doesn't fall on your

your accuser. It's on

accuser. It's on you. And in many cases, if you're a

you. And in many cases, if you're a slave, it doesn't matter whether you're

slave, it doesn't matter whether you're guilty or not. The only question is how

guilty or not. The only question is how much pain it'll take to extract your

much pain it'll take to extract your confession. Torture is not only legal in

confession. Torture is not only legal in ancient Rome, it's

ancient Rome, it's expected, especially if you're enslaved.

expected, especially if you're enslaved. The logic goes like this. A slave has no

The logic goes like this. A slave has no honor. So they can't be trusted to tell

honor. So they can't be trusted to tell the truth without

the truth without persuasion. That persuasion comes in the

persuasion. That persuasion comes in the form of whips, branding irons, and

form of whips, branding irons, and racks. You can be interrogated simply

racks. You can be interrogated simply for being in the vicinity of a crime.

for being in the vicinity of a crime. If your master is murdered, all the

If your master is murdered, all the slaves in the household can be tortured

slaves in the household can be tortured and executed regardless of guilt just to

and executed regardless of guilt just to make sure the true culprit is among the

make sure the true culprit is among the dead. Even as a citizen, your options

dead. Even as a citizen, your options aren't much better unless you're

aren't much better unless you're wealthy. Legal representation exists,

wealthy. Legal representation exists, but lawyers called advocacy aren't paid

but lawyers called advocacy aren't paid in fees.

in fees. They work for favors, social

They work for favors, social advancement, or because they're seeking

advancement, or because they're seeking political

political attention. And if your case is brought

attention. And if your case is brought before a magistrate or in front of a

before a magistrate or in front of a public tribunal, you better hope your

public tribunal, you better hope your opponent isn't

opponent isn't rich. Bribery is

rich. Bribery is commonplace. Trials can be delayed

commonplace. Trials can be delayed indefinitely. And the judges are often

indefinitely. And the judges are often members of the same elite class as the

members of the same elite class as the accusers.

accusers. Connections matter more than evidence.

Connections matter more than evidence. Punishments are public, brutal, and

Punishments are public, brutal, and designed to

designed to humiliate. Flogging, exile, and

humiliate. Flogging, exile, and execution are on the table, but they

execution are on the table, but they scale with

scale with status. If a patrician commits a serious

status. If a patrician commits a serious crime, they might be allowed to go into

crime, they might be allowed to go into exile quietly, keeping their wealth and

exile quietly, keeping their wealth and titles. If a plebbeian does the same,

titles. If a plebbeian does the same, it's chains, lashes, or worse. Execution

it's chains, lashes, or worse. Execution methods vary. Beheading is considered

methods vary. Beheading is considered relatively merciful, clean, quick, and

relatively merciful, clean, quick, and reserved for Roman

reserved for Roman citizens. If you're not a citizen,

citizens. If you're not a citizen, crucifixion is far more likely. It's

crucifixion is far more likely. It's agonizing and

agonizing and public. Reserved for slaves, rebels, and

public. Reserved for slaves, rebels, and the lowest criminals. You'll be

the lowest criminals. You'll be stripped, whipped, nailed to wood, and

stripped, whipped, nailed to wood, and left to die in the open.

left to die in the open. The birds will arrive before you're even

The birds will arrive before you're even gone. Romans view this not just as

gone. Romans view this not just as punishment, but a

punishment, but a spectacle. One last degrading

spectacle. One last degrading performance before

performance before death. But not every crime gets you

death. But not every crime gets you executed. Petty theft might earn you a

executed. Petty theft might earn you a beating or branding. You could be tied

beating or branding. You could be tied to a post and scourged in the forum for

to a post and scourged in the forum for passers by to

passers by to jerat. Repeat offenses might get you

jerat. Repeat offenses might get you sold into slavery. Yes, even if you were

sold into slavery. Yes, even if you were born free. Rome has no concept of

born free. Rome has no concept of rehabilitation. You're either useful to

rehabilitation. You're either useful to the state or you're

the state or you're disposable. Now, imagine you're caught

disposable. Now, imagine you're caught in

in debt. Maybe a bad harvest forced you to

debt. Maybe a bad harvest forced you to borrow grain. Maybe your family needed

borrow grain. Maybe your family needed medicine. Debt in ancient Rome is

medicine. Debt in ancient Rome is dangerous.

dangerous. If you can't pay it back, your creditor

If you can't pay it back, your creditor has the legal right to seize your

has the legal right to seize your property or your

property or your body. You can be imprisoned, sold as a

body. You can be imprisoned, sold as a bond servant, or forced to labor to pay

bond servant, or forced to labor to pay off what you

off what you owe. The system is predatory, and it's

owe. The system is predatory, and it's meant to keep the lower classes forever

meant to keep the lower classes forever straining just to survive. And don't

straining just to survive. And don't expect privacy or calm. Justice happens

expect privacy or calm. Justice happens in public spaces, the forum, the

in public spaces, the forum, the basilica, sometimes even the

basilica, sometimes even the market. Crowds gather to watch the

market. Crowds gather to watch the proceedings, cheer on accusers, or jer

proceedings, cheer on accusers, or jer at

at defendants. For the Roman public,

defendants. For the Roman public, justice is part legal process, part

justice is part legal process, part blood sport, and part civic theater. But

blood sport, and part civic theater. But perhaps the most chilling aspect is

perhaps the most chilling aspect is this. The law is deeply intertwined with

this. The law is deeply intertwined with spectacle.

spectacle. Rome's public games, executions, and

Rome's public games, executions, and military punishments blur the line

military punishments blur the line between civic order and

between civic order and entertainment. Criminals sentenced to

entertainment. Criminals sentenced to die might be thrown to wild beasts in

die might be thrown to wild beasts in the

the amphitheater. This isn't metaphor. It's

amphitheater. This isn't metaphor. It's a Tuesday.

a Tuesday. A prisoner convicted of treason or theft

A prisoner convicted of treason or theft could be chained and released into the

could be chained and released into the coliseum unarmed to be mowled by lions,

coliseum unarmed to be mowled by lions, leopards, or bears to the delight of

leopards, or bears to the delight of thousands of

thousands of spectators. The screams echo. The crowd

spectators. The screams echo. The crowd roars. The Senate nods in approval. The

roars. The Senate nods in approval. The logic behind this is both pragmatic and

logic behind this is both pragmatic and cruel. These executions are warnings,

cruel. These executions are warnings, reminders of who holds power. And if

reminders of who holds power. And if they happen to distract the public from

they happen to distract the public from grain shortages, political scandal, or

grain shortages, political scandal, or border unrest, all the better. For Roman

border unrest, all the better. For Roman women, the law offers even less

women, the law offers even less protection. A husband can legally kill

protection. A husband can legally kill his wife if she's caught in

his wife if she's caught in adultery. A father can disown or execute

adultery. A father can disown or execute his child under

his child under patriotestus, the absolute power of the

patriotestus, the absolute power of the male head of household. Domestic abuse

male head of household. Domestic abuse isn't a crime. It's a family matter. In

isn't a crime. It's a family matter. In theory, a woman can take legal action.

theory, a woman can take legal action. In practice, she is silenced by layers

In practice, she is silenced by layers of custom, intimidation, and

of custom, intimidation, and institutional

institutional indifference. Religion is no safe haven

indifference. Religion is no safe haven either. If you're accused of impiiety,

either. If you're accused of impiiety, failing to observe proper rights,

failing to observe proper rights, speaking against the gods, or

speaking against the gods, or accidentally disrupting a sacred

accidentally disrupting a sacred procession, you can be punished swiftly

procession, you can be punished swiftly and without

and without appeal. Rome doesn't separate church and

appeal. Rome doesn't separate church and state. To question religion is to

state. To question religion is to threaten the republic itself. There are

threaten the republic itself. There are prisons, yes, but not as punishment.

prisons, yes, but not as punishment. They are holding pens, temporary jails

They are holding pens, temporary jails where the accused wait for trial,

where the accused wait for trial, execution, or

execution, or sentencing. They are dark, filthy,

sentencing. They are dark, filthy, overcrowded, and filled with despair.

overcrowded, and filled with despair. Most don't leave alive. The Tulanum,

Most don't leave alive. The Tulanum, Rome's most infamous prison, is a damp

Rome's most infamous prison, is a damp underground

underground dungeon. Prisoners sent here, are either

dungeon. Prisoners sent here, are either destined for death or forgotten

destined for death or forgotten entirely. Even if you're innocent, your

entirely. Even if you're innocent, your life can unravel fast. A single

life can unravel fast. A single accusation can lead to financial ruin,

accusation can lead to financial ruin, social disgrace, or permanent

social disgrace, or permanent injury. Witnesses can be bribed.

injury. Witnesses can be bribed. Testimony can be

Testimony can be coerced. And evidence, when it exists,

coerced. And evidence, when it exists, is often little more than rumor wrapped

is often little more than rumor wrapped in a toga. The irony is that Rome sees

in a toga. The irony is that Rome sees itself as the pinnacle of

itself as the pinnacle of civilization. And in many ways, it is.

civilization. And in many ways, it is. It has an advanced legal code, courts,

It has an advanced legal code, courts, appeals, and procedures written into

appeals, and procedures written into stone. The 12 tables published in the

stone. The 12 tables published in the fifth century

fifth century BE were hailed as a step toward justice

BE were hailed as a step toward justice for all citizens. And later reforms

for all citizens. And later reforms introduced by emperors like Augustus and

introduced by emperors like Augustus and Hadrien did try to standardize trials

Hadrien did try to standardize trials and offer

and offer protections. But those reforms don't

protections. But those reforms don't reach everyone, especially not you.

reach everyone, especially not you. You're a peasant, a tradesman, a former

You're a peasant, a tradesman, a former slave, a woman without a dowy, a child

slave, a woman without a dowy, a child without a father. In Rome, justice wears

without a father. In Rome, justice wears a toga, but it walks with a blade. So

a toga, but it walks with a blade. So what do you do? You try to stay

what do you do? You try to stay invisible. You keep your head down,

invisible. You keep your head down, avoid debt, avoid conflict, and pray

avoid debt, avoid conflict, and pray your name never comes up in a whisper

your name never comes up in a whisper that

that matters. Because here in the shadow of

matters. Because here in the shadow of the Palatine Hill, justice isn't about

the Palatine Hill, justice isn't about what's fair. It's about who holds the

what's fair. It's about who holds the power and how willing they are to use

power and how willing they are to use it. Tomorrow you'll wake up and try

it. Tomorrow you'll wake up and try again to survive the Roman

again to survive the Roman day. But tonight, sleep

day. But tonight, sleep lightly, because in ancient Rome,

lightly, because in ancient Rome, justice may come at any time, and it

justice may come at any time, and it rarely knocks twice. By now, you've

rarely knocks twice. By now, you've endured sewage in your stew, slept under

endured sewage in your stew, slept under liceinfested wool, and labored under a

liceinfested wool, and labored under a sun that cooks clay. You've chafed,

sun that cooks clay. You've chafed, bled, and aged two decades in a single

bled, and aged two decades in a single day. But even in ancient Rome, all roads

day. But even in ancient Rome, all roads eventually lead to one place, death. And

eventually lead to one place, death. And for you, a poor plebeian or slave with

for you, a poor plebeian or slave with no name worth carving, your journey ends

no name worth carving, your journey ends without honor, ceremony, or even

without honor, ceremony, or even certainty.

certainty. Let's not sugarcoat it. Death came

Let's not sugarcoat it. Death came early, and it came often. For the Roman

early, and it came often. For the Roman poor, life was less a candle gently

poor, life was less a candle gently extinguished, and more a torch that

extinguished, and more a torch that flared, sputtered, and was abruptly

flared, sputtered, and was abruptly snuffed out by accident, infection,

snuffed out by accident, infection, starvation, or violence. You didn't so

starvation, or violence. You didn't so much pass away as fall apart. Life

much pass away as fall apart. Life expectancy in Rome hovered somewhere

expectancy in Rome hovered somewhere between 25 and 30

between 25 and 30 years. That number is skewed by the high

years. That number is skewed by the high infant mortality rate. Nearly one in

infant mortality rate. Nearly one in three babies didn't survive their first

three babies didn't survive their first year. But even if you made it past

year. But even if you made it past childhood, you lived hard and died

childhood, you lived hard and died young. A minor fever might spiral into

young. A minor fever might spiral into sepsis. A broken bone could fester into

sepsis. A broken bone could fester into gangrine. A minor cut in the wrong part

gangrine. A minor cut in the wrong part of the slums might mean a slow rot with

of the slums might mean a slow rot with no cure.

no cure. Penicellin, that's 18 centuries away.

Penicellin, that's 18 centuries away. Let's say you don't die

Let's say you don't die violently. Let's pretend you just waste

violently. Let's pretend you just waste away as many did. In that case, your

away as many did. In that case, your last days are spent in a cramped

last days are spent in a cramped tenement apartment, wreaking of chamber

tenement apartment, wreaking of chamber pots, your breath wheezing through

pots, your breath wheezing through cracked lips. No hospitals, no nurses.

cracked lips. No hospitals, no nurses. If you're lucky, a relative might hold

If you're lucky, a relative might hold your hand. But just as often, your body

your hand. But just as often, your body is found days later, stiff and still,

is found days later, stiff and still, the rats already curious. So what

the rats already curious. So what happens next? If you're a slave, your

happens next? If you're a slave, your property, your body will be dumped

property, your body will be dumped without ceremony in a mass grave called

without ceremony in a mass grave called a

a particuli. A pit filled with layers of

particuli. A pit filled with layers of anonymous corpses decaying in the sun

anonymous corpses decaying in the sun outside the city walls.

outside the city walls. No headstone, no urn, no prayer, just

No headstone, no urn, no prayer, just the quiet churn of

the quiet churn of decomposition. These pits were Roman

decomposition. These pits were Roman efficiency at its most callous. Hundreds

efficiency at its most callous. Hundreds of corpses dumped, covered in lime to

of corpses dumped, covered in lime to mast the stench than

mast the stench than forgotten. If you're a free poor Roman,

forgotten. If you're a free poor Roman, you might fare marginally better.

you might fare marginally better. Marginally.

Marginally. Your family, if they can afford it,

Your family, if they can afford it, might pay a burial club, a

might pay a burial club, a collegium to secure you a small

collegium to secure you a small funeral. These clubs were the closest

funeral. These clubs were the closest thing to insurance for the working poor,

thing to insurance for the working poor, pooling dues to provide the minimum, a

pooling dues to provide the minimum, a proper cremation or burial, and a modest

proper cremation or burial, and a modest ceremony. You might even get a small

ceremony. You might even get a small plaque or terra cotta earn if your

plaque or terra cotta earn if your family scraped enough coin together.

family scraped enough coin together. But if they

But if they didn't, back to the pit you go. Now,

didn't, back to the pit you go. Now, let's talk about what the Romans

let's talk about what the Romans believed came next. The afterlife,

believed came next. The afterlife, according to traditional Roman religion,

according to traditional Roman religion, was a murky and uninviting place called

was a murky and uninviting place called the

the underworld. It was neither paradise nor

underworld. It was neither paradise nor punishment, just a continuation of

punishment, just a continuation of existence, only dimmer.

existence, only dimmer. The souls of the dead mans wandered

The souls of the dead mans wandered restlessly unless properly appeased with

restlessly unless properly appeased with food, drink, and ritual. The poor

food, drink, and ritual. The poor couldn't afford grand rights, which

couldn't afford grand rights, which meant many spirits were believed to

meant many spirits were believed to linger as hungry, vengeful shades. The

linger as hungry, vengeful shades. The wealthy, of course, had tombs,

wealthy, of course, had tombs, mosoleiums, engraved sarcophagi, and

mosoleiums, engraved sarcophagi, and elaborate

elaborate rituals. Some had their ashes stored in

rituals. Some had their ashes stored in beautiful marble urns inscribed with

beautiful marble urns inscribed with poetry.

poetry. their names would be spoken for

their names would be spoken for generations. You, on the other hand, may

generations. You, on the other hand, may have never had a full name recorded at

have never had a full name recorded at all. And the worst part, death wasn't

all. And the worst part, death wasn't even safe from

even safe from politics. If you were executed, your

politics. If you were executed, your body might be denied burial

body might be denied burial altogether, especially if convicted of

altogether, especially if convicted of treason or

treason or sacrilege. Criminals were crucified,

sacrilege. Criminals were crucified, left to rot as a warning, their bones

left to rot as a warning, their bones scattered by dogs.

scattered by dogs. Others were condemned to Damnio

Others were condemned to Damnio Memorial, condemnation of memory, where

Memorial, condemnation of memory, where their names were scratched off records,

their names were scratched off records, statues defaced, their identities erased

statues defaced, their identities erased from

from history. There's something uniquely

history. There's something uniquely cruel about dying twice. Once in the

cruel about dying twice. Once in the body and once in the

body and once in the memory. Let's pause for a

memory. Let's pause for a moment. You've lived this entire day as

moment. You've lived this entire day as a nobody in ancient Rome. You've eaten

a nobody in ancient Rome. You've eaten spoiled lentils, relieved yourself in a

spoiled lentils, relieved yourself in a broken pot, fought rats for a spot to

broken pot, fought rats for a spot to sleep, and collapsed after hauling

sleep, and collapsed after hauling bricks or firewood or wet laundry in the

bricks or firewood or wet laundry in the relentless sun. And now, after all that,

relentless sun. And now, after all that, your death is quiet, unrecorded, and

your death is quiet, unrecorded, and statistically expected. It would be easy

statistically expected. It would be easy to end the story here in silence, buried

to end the story here in silence, buried beneath a mound of others just like you.

beneath a mound of others just like you. But history isn't only about

But history isn't only about endings. Sometimes it's about

endings. Sometimes it's about perspective. So, let's take a breath.

perspective. So, let's take a breath. Right now, you're probably lying in a

Right now, you're probably lying in a bed, a real one, with blankets that

bed, a real one, with blankets that aren't

aren't alive. You likely have access to

alive. You likely have access to medicine, clean water, and food that

medicine, clean water, and food that doesn't require a risk

doesn't require a risk assessment. You've brushed your teeth

assessment. You've brushed your teeth today. You've looked at a screen. You're

today. You've looked at a screen. You're not fighting for survival. Not in the

not fighting for survival. Not in the ancient sense. And yet this Roman

ancient sense. And yet this Roman peasant you embodied today, the one

peasant you embodied today, the one scratching at lice, bartering for

scratching at lice, bartering for onions, and ducking chamber pots, still

onions, and ducking chamber pots, still matters, because they're real. Not by

matters, because they're real. Not by name perhaps, but by the

name perhaps, but by the millions. Their backs built aqueducts

millions. Their backs built aqueducts and

and temples. Their voices echoed in forums.

temples. Their voices echoed in forums. Their bones paved the literal roads that

Their bones paved the literal roads that stretched from Britain to

stretched from Britain to Mesopotamia. They bore the weight of

Mesopotamia. They bore the weight of empire silently and without

empire silently and without inscription. History often forgets the

inscription. History often forgets the poor. It remembers emperors, generals,

poor. It remembers emperors, generals, poets, and

poets, and philosophers. It gives us marble busts

philosophers. It gives us marble busts and bronze plaques.

and bronze plaques. But underneath it all were men and women

But underneath it all were men and women who never wrote a line of Latin, who

who never wrote a line of Latin, who never stood in a Senate, and never saw

never stood in a Senate, and never saw their likeness chiseled in stone. And

their likeness chiseled in stone. And maybe that's the real reason this story

maybe that's the real reason this story was worth telling. Because for one

was worth telling. Because for one night, one quiet moment before sleep,

night, one quiet moment before sleep, you lived their life. You felt the straw

you lived their life. You felt the straw under their back, the cold breath of

under their back, the cold breath of winter between cracked walls, the weight

winter between cracked walls, the weight of hunger, and the absurdity of

of hunger, and the absurdity of surviving a world designed to break you.

surviving a world designed to break you. You didn't last a day, not really. But

You didn't last a day, not really. But you came closer than most ever will. And

you came closer than most ever will. And when you wake up, maybe you'll carry

when you wake up, maybe you'll carry something with you. Not guilt, not pity,

something with you. Not guilt, not pity, just perspective.

just perspective. perspective that clean water is not

perspective that clean water is not guaranteed, that hot food is not a

guaranteed, that hot food is not a given, that your bed, your toothbrush,

given, that your bed, your toothbrush, your medicine, your toilet, they're not

your medicine, your toilet, they're not minor luxuries. They're miracles stacked

minor luxuries. They're miracles stacked one on top of the other, born from

one on top of the other, born from centuries of struggle, from broken backs

centuries of struggle, from broken backs and forgotten lives.

and forgotten lives. So, as the screen fades to black and the

So, as the screen fades to black and the last words whisper into your ear, take a

last words whisper into your ear, take a moment, thank a

moment, thank a peasant. They're the reason you're not

peasant. They're the reason you're not one.

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YouTube Transcript:Boring Greek Myths For Sleep | The Entire Story of Greek Mythology