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Dishing With Keep ft My Roomie Alan
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Hello, chicken nuggets. We're here again
cooking some stuff
>> with who?
>> With my gay roommate, Alan.
>> My name is Alan. And we're gonna see if
Keep actually knows how to cook because
she keeps telling me that she knows how
to cook, but anytime we try her ingredients
ingredients
is giving white mom almond mom. There's
no seasonings. There's no
>> I think I actually think I have the too
much, Jean. I think I go either too much
or not enough.
>> Okay, fine. We're going to we're going
to see what we're going to do. We're
going to see what it
>> But these are like leftovers. These
aren't like
>> from her ingredients. She This is why
I'm saying
>> we're going to see if it's good. But we
didn't we've never had like a proper
homecooked meal together.
>> No, we haven't because we just moved in
together and we've been like we've been like
like
>> eating out mainly. We've been eating out
>> for like ever.
>> No, we haven't at all. but we haven't
had time to.
>> Okay, that's fair.
>> Now that we're settling in. >> Mhm.
>> Mhm.
>> This will be the first meal before we
get ingredients.
>> Okay, let's
>> So, this is still not going to be that
great. Okay, this is like this is like
off-the cuff random stuff put together. But
But
>> looking in the bag, I'm already scared.
Honestly, I don't
>> No, me too. The bag doesn't look good.
It doesn't
>> But these are your ingredients. Why
would you buy this? because I made other
stuff with them in the past and then now
they're like sitting here and I'm like
what do I do with the rest of it?
>> Okay, let's get to it.
>> It's like little leftover.
>> Okay. Oh, this isn't even it.
>> I was actually going to be siblings. I
love it.
>> I know. Wait, where did the bag actually
go? Oh, it was actually over here.
>> Okay, so here's the thing. I didn't like
think of a recipe to do. I didn't This
is literally
>> She's starting already. This is exactly
what I'm saying. This is why we're not
going to be eating from home. We're
going to be ordering Uber. That's an
investment because we don't cook.
>> I'm really good at cooking. >> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> When I've lived alone, I cooked all the
time. But
>> I haven't cooked with him yet. And
honestly, not a great start off to be like,
like,
>> "Hey, first time I'm cooking for you. We
have a bunch of leftover ingredients."
So, damn. Now you're going to judge me on
on
>> What are the ingredients? You still have
to show me.
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's see.
So, this is what we had in the pantry in
the fridge. >> Okay,
>> that's exactly what I was saying. You
always do this.
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, we have
tortillas. That seems promising.
>> Applesauce with pickles.
>> That's your applesauce. I don't eat applesauce.
applesauce.
>> But with pickles. It's crazy.
>> We're going to make it work. And then we
have pickles.
>> I'm like, you didn't have to clock me
like that. Uh,
>> they don't need to know that I eat apples.
apples.
>> No, he eats applesauce.
>> I do, but it's so good. You guys have to
understand it's like for me, I have a
lot of food noise and I'm very big back.
So, if I'm eating like dessert, cookies,
chocolate, crumble, let me just go ahead
and pick up some little applesauce and
get my [ __ ] together.
>> I feel like applesauce isn't quite big
back unless you like sprinkle
>> Exactly. Exactly. I'm I'm supplementing
it for the real big back festivities cuz
we know I could eat it. It's basically
like getting your fruit intake for the
day, right?
>> It's apple.
>> What else is in the bag?
>> It's kind of baby birded apple. Baby bird.
bird.
>> Come on. That's good on everything, right?
right?
>> There's a vision. There's not a vision,
but there will be a vision.
Sriracha that we have not used anything.
>> We tend to buy a lot of ingredients
thinking that we're going to actually
cook from home and we never get to it.
But also, you've been gone for a while,
too. So,
>> thank God I've been so busy.
>> No, she always lies to me. She's like,
"Yeah, we're going to hang out. We're
going to make dinner. We're going to do
this." And then we never get to
anything. Like,
>> this is a fake roommate. She had me
cancel all my plans, cancel my leaves,
and then move in with her not to even
hang out with me. What is going on with
you, Key?
>> No, we be hanging out. We will be
hanging out.
>> We better.
>> I can't. I didn't make any plans this week.
week.
>> Okay. Well, we just moved in. We just
moved in. So, I'll give her that. I'll
give her that.
>> I also did our entire balcony flooring.
You're welcome.
>> I put down the plants.
>> You did.
>> 50/50 around here.
>> Okay, fine. Is the plants the same as
putting in all the hardwood on the ground?
ground?
>> We'll see.
>> Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Next up, a um a
quarter of a cream cheese bar.
>> I love cream cheese. And I'm not going
to lie. Are you going to kick me out if
I do this?
>> Keep Oh my god. She
She
in a black household, we would never do
this. You're biting out of the package
that we're literally going to be cooking here.
here.
>> That's called getting germ resistance.
That's called you're never going to get
co because
>> how much of this do we need? Because
let's just flip it over and start
putting it in there cuz I'm not
>> You're building your immune system.
>> Here, take this. Take this from me. Take
this from me.
>> It's so good. You don't want a bite?
>> I'll try one for you.
>> I'll try. It's like
>> I'm scared. Okay. Wait, wait, wait,
M. You don't love it. No, you hate it. Okay.
Okay.
>> No, it tastes like Wait, it tastes like
if I don't even know if I could say this.
this.
>> I don't think that this is allowed on
your YouTube.
>> We have to now. You have to.
your mouth,
>> but it has no flavor though.
>> It's like
>> that is like Wait, who are you?
Oh my god.
>> This is exactly why I need to not do
this. I'm oversharing already.
>> Anytime I start talking, I start oversharing.
oversharing.
>> Maybe they like just like eat a lot of
gluten. I feel like that would probably
thicken up. >> Anyway,
>> Anyway,
>> let's move on to the corn.
>> And then we have a opened can of corn.
Just like a little bit in there. Oh,
>> I'm going just be honest.
>> Off to a great start.
>> We don't have any can opener. So,
usually anytime that we're using like
eating something that's canned, we use a
knife. I don't know if anyone else can do
do
>> Can you look at the top of this? Alan
>> basically destroyed it.
>> But like,
>> but saved the day.
>> No, but let me show them how we do it
though because like I feel like a lot of
people think that this is dangerous.
It's not dangerous if you do it
properly, especially if that's the only
thing that you do. So,
>> I would cut myself for sure.
>> I would bleed out. That's why you're in
charge of No, actually get a can opener.
We're getting a
>> can We're gonna get a can opener, but
let me show them how I do it first. Come
on, let's go.
>> Okay, so we actually um I actually
brought two cans.
>> What if I just >> No.
>> No.
>> Caught caught in four.
>> But don't test me because like do you
ever just get
>> sometimes you just get impulsive and
it's just like [ __ ] what if I just want
to go to jail today? Like
>> not really though. Not for you. Not for
me. The the parasites the parasites are
telling me to stab my ruby.
>> Sometimes they do. I'm just kidding.
>> Never. Okay.
>> And that's why I don't go home.
>> And this is why I'm the one who opens
the cans.
>> Okay. So, all you have to do is just
hold your hand too close
>> Okay. >> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> You hold it steady.
>> Yeah. Yeah, I I need to just back away a
little bit.
>> So, you have to make sure that you're
not, you know, hitting it in the middle.
Otherwise, it's going to completely just
squirt in your face. Just
>> But if you lick when things squirt in
your face,
>> let's keep going.
>> Let's get to the corners now. >> Just
>> Just
like you have to have some motion to it
when you do it. And then you stab. Build
your momentum. Oh, are you picturing
that as
>> build the momentum and then just
>> Okay, so basically think about your ex and
and
>> but then you have to do Okay, this is
the only bad part is that it gets a
little messy if it's something like
this, but you have to go around a little
bit just to open it up.
>> I like it messy
>> enough. I love it messy.
>> Just to get that [ __ ] open, >> Helen.
I'm struggling.
>> No, you're not struggling. But you're
definitely making that can.
>> I told you that it's worse.
>> Are you sure you're gay? >> Very.
>> Very.
>> This is corn juice, babe.
>> This can is actually giving me. >> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> So, good job.
>> And then, okay, take like a little fork
and then just finish pulling it over.
Oh, you're now
>> my nails are kind of like a
>> Okay, do it.
You need new ones anyway. I know it. I
totally know. Clocked. Clocked.
>> You need new ones anyway. Okay. See,
look. That's all you need. You don't
need a
>> This is Anytime I'm like, "Okay, she's
starting to make sense." She does
something that just blows me the [ __ ]
away. Honestly, like, who drinks out of
a can of corn.
>> It's actually not bad.
>> It's not bad.
>> Try a sip.
>> Oh my god. You keep making me try this
[ __ ] Okay, I'll take one little sip.
>> Take a little sip and have an open mind.
>> You said have an open mind. Okay. I'm
>> It wasn't good.
>> You have me tasting things that taste
like urine.
>> It's not bad, per se.
>> This is what I mean. Applesauce, corn
that tastes like [ __ ] And what else?
What else other ingredients do we have?
Tortillas and cream cheese. Babes. Oh my god.
god.
>> This is about to be like um your new next
next
>> I don't even need a laxative. This is
the meal.
Let's start making meal preps for the
girls who want to be skinny because this
is all the laxative you need. Baby, >> honestly,
>> honestly,
>> keeps cooking. Keeps cooking.
>> I will cook and you'll sort of like it
and then your tummy will be snatched
tomorrow. I promise.
>> Get it all out. Dlex who?
>> Only 2,000 calories. Let's get to it.
I've never seen a taquito look like this
before, but we could try. Honestly,
>> me neither. I think we do a little bit
of the pickle chopped up. We do some corn.
corn.
>> We do some of this >> taheen
>> taheen
>> and Sriracha. And we mix it up. Chop it
up. Mix it up. Fill it into the a warm tortilla.
tortilla.
>> Roll that up. >> Mhm.
>> Mhm.
>> Bake it.
>> And then also make a creme a creme
fresh. A little creme with with
>> I usually never see her vision for
things. I'm going to be real with you.
>> No, he never does. What does it always
every single time he has not trusted the
vision he goes okay you cooked you ate I
see it every time
>> okay but that's a little bit different
though sometimes she has like little
kooky ideas where I'm like okay let me
experiment let me just see what this
about you okay before I will give her
grace because I never liked anything
that she recommended to me it always
sounded [ __ ] disgusting
>> but then you tried
>> but then I tried and I'm like Keith
>> wait a second
>> you're kind of cooking with that she's
actually really doing what she needs to
do. So, >> something
>> something
>> maybe this this could be the same thing,
but I doubt it. It's kind of like
>> I'm not going to lie, I'm also doubting
it. I don't trust myself with this. This
is This is a hard
>> Well, do you What's the first step?
>> This is like a nightmare blunt rotation.
Like, this is
>> This is your nightmare blunt rotation.
>> This is going to be a hard
>> I think this is your guilty pleasure.
This is the stuff that you eat.
>> Oh, well, I don't eat applesauce.
>> Okay, that's me. That's my guilty pleasure.
pleasure.
>> So, look, it's like Okay, let's do this.
>> So, let's try this out. Um, let me get
you a little plate.
>> Yeah. Do that even Do we have cutting boards?
boards?
>> Are you We don't have cutting boards.
>> Okay. So, what do we use?
>> We use this.
>> We use a plate.
>> We use a plastic plate because I love
microplastics in my country. Let's do
two pickles. Will you cut them up for me?
me?
>> Yes, I could cut the pickles. Let me
see. Oh,
>> you see, you almost just stabbed me. And
I'm the one who was cutting the can. I
can't You can't be trusted in the
kitchen anymore.
>> Okay, here you go.
>> Let me see.
>> That's not how you handle a knife. Just
kidding. So, how do I even dice these?
Okay. By the way, I don't cook often.
There's like a few
>> Not all ever.
>> No. No. There's a few meals that I do
know how to cook and I eat, but
>> I went to his place. This man has
>> steak, broccolini, mashed potatoes. I
know what I'm doing. It's literally just
like, what am I going to do with
pickles, applesauce, and corn? Like,
this is not ingredients.
>> That's true. That's true. He didn't even
have any pots or pans other than the um
non-stick cancerous ones that you
scraped up.
It's okay though. I I literally came
with more than enough stainless steel
copper bottles.
>> Okay. Yeah, you did come with
everything. But let's see. I'm the one
who came with the talent. So, let me be
the one.
>> And that's true. And that's true.
>> It's the one. It's It's the truth. But
wait, how do I dice it? Tell me.
>> Okay. So, dicing is kind of like you
have to get
>> I'll do one. Why is such different sizes?
sizes?
>> Look at these.
>> I mean,
>> this is what I want me to look like.
>> Everything comes in different size.
>> It's a tiny.
>> I just like the bigger ones.
>> He does. I know.
>> So, I would like cut in the middle.
>> Maybe even like cut in the middle here, too.
too.
>> Oh, it's kind of slippery.
>> Honestly, just like that.
>> This is how people are dicing their pickles.
pickles.
>> I've never seen anyone dice a pickle.
Let me see.
Okay, but I'm about to get into
>> Okay, so I'm going to try to dice this.
But while I'm dicing this, you haven't
been home and you went on a Vegas
24-hour trip. She went to Vegas without
me. She hasn't even seen the strip
before and she's going without me. No.
What did you do in Vegas? And why were
you gone so long? And she came back home
with the biggest smile. Let's talk about
it while I'm dicing this. What went
>> Well, I had to stay in a
the very top of an MGM hotel. Um, as
soon as you walk in through the double
doors, there was a pool table. It was
very fun. We went to the absence um
show. We went to a cir show. >> Some
>> Some
Why were you smiling when you were
coming back?
>> Cuz I got Princess Theresa.
>> By whom?
Can we talk about it or no? Can we not
talk about that? >> No.
>> No.
>> No. Off the record, princess treatment
by somebody that
>> can give princess treatment, I guess.
>> Okay. Keep. Okay. I'm like, all I know is
is
it's not giving Dubai, right?
>> No. No. Oh my god.
>> We love him. We love him.
>> No. We love him. We love him so much.
Um, honestly just had to be there and be
myself and have a good time and enjoy
myself and it was perfect and it was the
best and I don't think I can go without
having princess treatment anymore.
>> I mean I feel like
I understand I have been telling her for
the past year
this is not how you operate with it. No,
cuz you know I go for scrubs usually like
like
>> there are always
>> I don't know how people in like that
like because I never really talk to
straight women about their relationship
so I never really knew. It's just like
for me in my head I'm thinking okay like
yeah there's things that could be 50/50
but like when you're a high quality
person you have to have like a man if he
wants things to be traditional then let
it be traditional. Get him to work. Get
him to work.
>> 50/50 was only my last. Every other
relationship was
100 and it was me doing the 100 and I I
I took care of the
>> Okay, drop in the comments, ladies and
men, do you think that you should be
going 50/50 with your significant other,
but do you also think that if like if
someone's saying that they want a
traditional relationship, do you think
that they should be going 50/50 with
their girlfriend? Like I need to know
like because I don't know.
>> We all have our own like every
relationship's different granted. So
sometimes things are way different than
the other times. But if you are saying
that you want a traditional
relationship, but then you're like like
I'm the man, I'm the provider, and then
you're like, okay, so provide.
>> But also, anyone that is trying to go
through keep, just know that she has a
gay person standing 10 toes behind her,
she we I'm knowing you first before you
know me because you are not getting to
keep if you don't have my approval.
>> No, he literally is like the gatekeeper
if you don't.
>> Yes. Oh my god.
>> This is why you need friends like me to
I'm telling you like we don't want that.
>> Also, do you see that we both have red
hair right now?
>> We do. It might be black soon though. I
don't know. Someone said I was giving
Mad Hatter vibes and I was like,
>> we haven't gotten anything done yet.
Like, we need to hurry up. >> Okay,
>> Okay,
>> I'm going to strain this. >> Mhm.
>> Mhm.
>> Okay, let's get
>> I don't even think that you're doing it right.
right.
>> Don't look at me. You see, we have no
equipment for this. This is what I'm
saying. She doesn't cook. We don't even
have a strainer. What is this? No can
opener, no strainer, nothing. What is
going on here?
>> You know what? I I just kind of like
base my life off buds. So,
>> we're doing this and we're doing this.
This looks great.
>> This looks like it's meant to
>> This is what I'm talking about. She
thinks that this looks great. Did you
expect for us to be cooking together or
me trusting these meals? Like, let's
take a look at this.
>> I'm an ingredient girl. This is Ed.
>> I'm just kidding. No,
>> I'm eating girl. >> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> I got to be a little unhinged sometimes.
>> As you should. Honestly, where' the
hinges even go? They don't belong here.
Then we do a little bit of this.
>> Mhm. Let's see.
>> We're going based off vibes. Okay.
>> Okay. We're going based off of the
vibes. Let's see.
>> And then I'm getting this vibe as well.
>> Okay. I'm trying to envision what this
would be if it was a person. Like
>> it would be like someone you don't
invite back over, someone that you like.
>> I'm a good cook, but I don't know what
the [ __ ] I'm doing with these
ingredients to be honest.
>> That's honestly really valid.
>> I I'm kind of a lost cause for this.
This is I'm winging it. But I have hope.
I have hope. Honestly, everything works
out for me. Mm-m. No,
>> honestly, everything happens for a
>> everything works out for me.
Manifestation. Okay. Affirmations.
>> We didn't just fall out of a tree. Like,
>> we didn't just fall out of a coconut tree.
tree.
>> Oh my god. Okay, let's cook. I don't
even know. Is Is this considered cooking
or is this just considered putting
random things together and calling it a meal?
meal?
Um, I think it's called Let Her Cook.
>> Should that be the name of my show?
>> Let Her Cook. Yeah. Now you You're
saying that I'm calling you out too
much? No. Honestly, you have been the
one cooking. I need to take a little bit
of the reigns. So, you need to tell me what
what
>> I can't wait to give you family dinners, too.
too.
>> Family dinners.
>> I have so much. You're going to be
obsessed with my stew. I talk about this
every cook.
>> I make a mean stew.
>> You make a mean stew. Keep
Let's keep going.
>> Okay. Should we try a tiny little >> Mhm.
>> Mhm.
>> I kind of want to wait till the end,
though. I want to get a little surprise.
>> Yeah. You don't You don't try this.
>> I don't need to try it right now.
>> But it's good. Okay. So, >> what's
>> what's
>> We're just going to go off camera and
heat this tortilla up really quickly
>> and probably roll it together. But we
should also
>> Okay, so we're going to be rolling the
tortillas together.
>> Rolling. This is going to be the inside.
>> Okay. So, this is the inside of it. And
we're going to put this inside of the tortilla.
tortilla.
>> I know. No meat in the gravey
>> we are. I could only look skinny from
this angle though. From the front. I
don't want to do that.
>> No me too. I'm like
>> no. Like that's why I have to hit this
pose. You guys don't understand. Like
this is giving skinny. But if I were to
turn around it's going to be giving.
>> He said wait. Where'd we go?
>> I disappeared. >> No.
>> No.
>> Where did we go? Okay.
>> Okay. Let's put this together. I feel
like we just keep going off topic and
I'm like for me I don't know if I'm like
I don't want to self diagnose but I
can't just keep anything in my mind for
one second
>> but I don't want to say that because
I've never been told that by a
therapist. My mom's a therapist.
>> Your mom's a therapist or she did not
tell you you have ADHD.
>> But you have like a lot more together.
>> You said I have Oh my god. Thank you.
That's what people see.
>> You're really good at like you're really
good at like having a schedule and doing
your stuff. I'm like, you're like,
"Pigy, can you you should buy your
dressers." And I'm like, "Okay." And
then I go to click on dressers. And then
I'm like,
>> h, you know what? I also probably should
do this. And then I do this. And then I
get on a tangent. And then I
>> 4 days later, I'm like, oh, I was going
to buy dressers.
>> That is exactly what she does. And for
me, it's like, this is me,
>> Keep, let's go get coffee. She's like,
okay, we're going to go get coffee. 2
seconds later, she's like, wait, Alan,
I'm actually going to head out to get
breakfast. We were just talking about
going to go get coffee and now all of a
sudden we're going to go get breakfast
and all of a sudden we're going to go to
the beach and all of a sudden we're
going to go walk the dogs. Let's focus
on one thing at a time and let's get it together.
together.
>> I'm ADHD and you might be AD a little bit.
bit.
>> We're both
>> We got some of the A.
>> We just mixed it together. A's and the D's.
D's.
>> A's and the D's. A
>> Let's get it.
>> Somehow we've made it this far. And
honestly, I don't know how we did it.
Just smells like tortilla.
>> Why are you lying right now? This does
not smell good.
>> Just smell No, it doesn't smell bad. It
just smells like tortilla.
>> It like nothing. Let's get on.
>> Let me see.
>> We have to get the clim. >> Okay.
>> Okay.
>> Check out Check out the sauce we got going.
going.
>> It I'm going to give it the benefit of
of the doubt and say that it's not
tasting like its appearance right now. But
But
>> the creme. Yeah. Well, let's take a bite
without the creme first. Get your
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, I'm nervous.
Stink it.
>> Sink it.
>> Hot dog wars.
Okay. So,
>> are we still trying the cream after that?
that?
That was not good.
>> You don't watch this cooking show for
the food. Okay,
>> you do watch it for the food.
>> You watch it for the vibes. Um, this
just tastes like straight up pickles.
>> Maybe we did too many pickles. Okay, let
me try the cream.
Is it good? >> Better.
>> Better.
>> Oh my god, it's hot.
>> It's having me shake right now. Oh my
goodness. Let me see.
>> It's better. Okay, have an open mind.
>> I'm going to have an open mind to it. I
will say sometimes you do put me on to
food that's really good.
>> Like what are those Tra What are the
Trader Joe's thing called that we get? >> Calamari.
>> Calamari.
>> The calamari. That's so good with crackers.
crackers. >> Mhm.
>> Mhm.
>> I'll give you that one. Let's see.
>> It's better with this actually. But it
is very pickly which is offputting for a taquito.
[Music]
>> Buy Keep's meal plan right now. I
promise you
>> you'll be so skinny cuz you won't want
to eat any of it.
>> Keep honestly this was a really
interesting dish. Like I'm surprised you
came up with this. I've never had
someone make me food that tastes like
that before. I'll give you that. I will
say this is a new flavor, huh? >> Mhm.
>> Mhm. >> Mhm.
>> Mhm.
>> What am I doing? Why am I doing a [ __ ]
[ __ ]
>> I literally thought I was hungry, [ __ ]
I didn't say I wanted to die.
>> All right, close it out.
>> All right, thank you so much for
watching. Um, this was all a ploy to try
to poison my roommate.
>> If she said she hated me after this, I
would honestly believe her. But
>> no, I had high hopes. Honestly, I was
like, maybe
I didn't pick these ingredients out.
These were just like the last things
that we had cuz we have not gone shopping.
shopping.
>> We haven't. I'm hoping the next thing
that you make tastes better than this.
But honestly, maybe next time I'll cook
cook for keep.
>> No, I think if we like smoke a blunt,
this will taste good.
>> Cooking for keep. How does that sound?
>> Cook for me.
>> Cook for Keep. I'll always cook for you.
>> You see, this is why I love you so much.
And honestly, guys, like even though I'm
And we haven't seen each other in so
long. So even though she almost killed
me, I still love her.
>> Come here.
>> No, it's it's not that bad.
>> It is. Yes. And
>> it's not that bad.
>> It's not that bad. It's
>> It's not good.
>> We don't I don't want to lie to you
personally, so I'm not going to have a
comment on it. But you know what? Since
it's cheap, I'll give it a 10 out of 10.
10 out of 10. 10 out of 10 because we're
we're nothing under. We know our worth,
>> even if our food doesn't.
>> Tune in next time for me to make another
amazing dish.
>> And will I be eating it? And will it be
amazing? Let's find out.
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