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Journey of Awareness Mini Lecture
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i think psychology is all about self-awareness
self-awareness
i know freud said it's a journey of self-awareness
it's supposed to be a journey of kind of
getting to know that innermost
part of you your soul your essence your
spirit your breath
and you know i mentioned a lot last time
how i'm an
insecure person right um
and i talked about how we have to own
that because if we don't own that then
we're a victim to it and other people
are victim to it and in realizing our
own weaknesses
and just who we are and having
self-awareness i think we realize
that we have our own perspective on life
and the situations that we go through
and the people we encounter so
and something i want everyone to realize
is we can't
escape our perspectivity we can't escape
our perspective
no matter how hard you try you can't
immanuel kant talks about our perspective
perspective
as a set of glasses right kantian spectacles
spectacles
that's what they would be referred to uh
these glasses that you can never take
off that's your perspective you can
never take them off
no matter how hard you try and some
people's glasses are rosy colored and
other peoples are stormy right
and some people are just like a golden
yellow right so we all have different perspectives
perspectives
but we can't take it off you can try
does anyone think that you can escape
your perspective
okay i love that thought you're saying
we can broaden our perspective
we can change our perspective but the
thing is we still can't escape
it you're always going to have a
viewpoint on the world
the world is always going to be what it
is for you you can't
ever get out of that everyone in this
class you
are for like just through my eyes for me
you know uh let me give an example
i have a lot of siblings i may have
mentioned that um i have seven siblings
the baby elky uh when she was real
little she looks like winnie the pooh i
she i think she's all acts like one of
those she's so precious
and she's like baby sister and so she's
like winnie the pooh we call her winnie
the pooh she
everything she had was winnie the pooh
and we would sing that song
forever and ever [Music]
[Music]
ever forever a very long time
and so that was my part that's
christopher robin and elky would do the
winnie the pooh part
forever isn't long at all she was so
good at it she would do the whole voice
and when we were little i'm sorry this
is annoying some people i could see some
people looking
um when we were we were little we would
sing this song on repeat she would play
winnie the pooh
i would play christopher robin and
i didn't realize that she kind of at
that age realize the importance of those words
words
those should study the song it's a
beautiful song it's about um
we'll always be together and no matter
how far apart we are
um so if someone passes away we'll
always be together it doesn't matter
you're always there in my heart it's the
most beautiful song but it was just fun
for us to sing
so i went to go study abroad when i was a
a
sophomore in college and first time
that far away from home my family
couldn't send me stuff because to send me
me
mail was really expensive but finally
they sent me one box and each of my
siblings put something in the box
and elky put a burn cd
i don't think it even had any writing on it
it
eva sent me a used tissue she's the
comedian of the family like really
finally i get a box for my fail and i
get a used kleenex and a half-eaten
candy bar from eva
elkie's is a cd and i put it in the cd player
player
and y'all there's one song on there
winnie the pooh
and it was a perfect i mean time to use
it this meaning yeah you're so far apart
but i'm with you and i love you and it
will never be a part kind of thing
and so the whole point of this is that
cd for
me means so much this whole story for me
means so much to you guys you know maybe
you thought that was cute
you know but it wasn't like oh my gosh
like your heart right
it doesn't mean the same thing for you
and if you were to randomly find that cd
without knowing that story you would
think it was a piece of junk
outdated technology scratched up no
title one song
a child song what right but for me it
was my little sister's heart
everything is what it is for the individual
individual
and i think that in that way we can't
ever escape that
things always are what they are for you
and that means profound things when it
comes to
human connection because i can't ever
escape my perspective
and you can't ever escape your
perspective what does that mean
we can never fully know another human being
being
it doesn't matter if it's your mom your
dad your boyfriend your girlfriend your
brother your sister
doesn't matter how much they know you
they they never fully know you
only you fully know yourself i think
it's so important that we
carry that idea around as we exist in
the world
why because it helps us elevate the other
other
you are so much more than i can ever
possibly know
every single person in here is so much
more than i can ever possibly know
and every time i interact with someone i
think about that and if someone starts
to behave
poorly you know in a way that's kind of
rude or whatever
in a weird way i think there's something
else going
on i'm going to give them the benefit of
the doubt they're just doing the best
they can
given their situation but i don't know
what they're going through
and i am never going to act like i know
what they're going through entirely
i think to act like we can truly fully
know another person
is to commit i mean one of the worst
violations that we can against somebody
because it's to limit them to think we
know better
and we know them fully no we don't
and so i think we should give people the
benefit of the doubt people are just
doing the best they can with the
situation that they're giving
now most people want to be good people
most people want to succeed most people
want to spread
love and kindness and sometimes we
interact and we think oh
well they're not a good person no they
you don't know what they're going through
through
so i think it's so huge right that we
always try to expand our perspective and
what it
what i hear that's in that is we can't
escape it but i think we should aim to
and so i think psychology is about one
self-awareness realizing you can't
escape your perspective and we all have
issues we all have strengths we all have
things that nobody knows about
and so we're we want to kind of become
aware of that so we can be in control
and the fact that we can't escape our
perspective we realize other people are
in the exact same situation and they're
just trying the best that they can
and we can respect that other person and
say there's so much more than i can ever imagine
imagine
but i'm going to try to get to know them
as fully as possible
and in doing that we're going to aim for
[Music] transcendence
transcendence
transcendental awareness
it think transcend yourself leave your
perspective that's what it is
you have this big picture view on
existence in the world you're not
limited by your own perspective
i don't believe that's possible but i
think we should always be aiming for it
always aim to leave your biases behind
always aim to truly know this other
person to stand in their shoes and i
think if you're going to become a
therapist i think we should all do this
as human beings and the world would be
instantly a better place
but i think if you're going to be a
therapist you should for sure
try to stand in the other person's shoes
leave your perspective as much as possible
possible
so that you can try to understand them
while always recognizing you'll never
fully understand them
i i truly believe we can't escape our
perception now some people can argue through
through
religious practices we can sometimes meditation
meditation
full of meditation is a lot of time to
leave your body right and sometimes
maybe it's not meditation maybe for
someone it's
prayer you know kind of to leave your
your body kind of
i don't know engage with a spiritual
world kind of thing
i i don't think there's any way to leave
our perspective how does that make you
is that something good or something bad
hannah uh personally when you said
nobody will fully know you i got the
most anxiety [Music]
[Music]
i got like you're like oh
i don't know yeah about me and you said that
that
you're like i'm so lonely right now i really
really
am and yeah and i mean that's the this
idea that we will all
die alone like i'm sorry to do this to
you guys but the whole point of week one
is basically for all
for me to throw all y'all into an
existential crisis i want all of y'all
to freak the heck out
thank you i'm sorry i'm sorry i think
it's important so that we can find some peace
peace
um so let's talk about some of the
positives maybe so
the negatives it makes us feel lonely um
that no one can ever fully know
no us uh it kind of hits you in the pit
of your stomach
i had a thought to add to what she had
said she asked you
do you believe there are bad people but
i think that is based on perspectives
i think there's such a gray area in
between of saying oh is this person good
or bad because i don't think that it's
um fair to make that judgment from
anyone who has a right to judge another
human being because we can never fully
understand it
that is the core of what is good about
this you perceive to be good or bad
yeah and that is the core of what is good
good
about all of this because maybe if we
went throughout the world with that kind
of idea
that i can't judge you then maybe
everything would be a little bit better
and maybe we can all just focus on being
our best selves like
people are so obsessed with pointing
their fingers and saying fault fault fault
fault
fault problem problem why won't we just
pay attention to what we can control
our own problems our own faults being
our best person
focus on i see this problem in
relationships so much
everyone wants to play that blame game
and point out you're not a good
boyfriend because you don't ever buy me
flowers and you don't ever tell me i'm
beautiful and you don't do this and you
don't do that and you don't do this and
you don't do the dishes
well why won't you think about how you
could be a better girlfriend do you do
any of that stuff
and if you start being a better
girlfriend guess what's going to happen
he's going to start feeling a little bit
more loved and appreciated he's probably
gonna be a
better boyfriend it just comes down to
who's gonna be the first to step it up
if they're both good people if there's
someone who's toxic in the relationship
it doesn't matter how
what you do they're going to bring you
down and that's when you have to notice
no matter what you do they mistreat you
right and so just focus on the best
advice for any relationship focus on
what you
do focus on being a better person
yourself a better partner
nick and then nico that's such a complex
thing about being good or bad because
even even determining if someone's good
or bad
they could have particularly they could
be a good father but a horrible person
they could be a good boyfriend or
girlfriend that a terrible friend or
vice versa
yeah that's just it's so complex and
does it all add up
like if you throw enough goodness into
the buckets
you know that they're a good person
because you're a good something does not
always mean you're
also get something else like a friend or
just a person
right you could be a better friend than
you are or someone significant other
people are multi-dimensional people are
so complex it's an excellent point nico
where are you
guys keep kind of crossing into the
bridge of philosophy
here because stoics are very uh you know
you only
worry about what you control like oh you
lost your house okay that was out of
your control so you shouldn't worry
about it
yeah there's so much i think that you're
in here in psychology that ties into
philosophy so if you've taken a
philosophy of course bring that stuff up
because that will help us i really
believe in a lot of ways psychology
is like very kind of took philosophy
and we made it practical you know let's
make an actual career which there's a
ton of options for careers in psychology
just something some people stayed after
class last time we started talking about
difference between psychology and
psychiatry an lpc
a licensed professional counselor a
licensed clinical social worker
a licensed psychological associate
there's all these different there's
social psychologists
community psychologists there's a
forensic psychologist like we have all
these options so you can come join
psychology and find your path within
the broader realm um but philosophy it's like
like
what are you gonna do you're gonna be a
philosopher right so sometimes we get
philosophy people in psychology because
they love these big questions of life
but they want a practical way to kind of work
work
with and through them um so what are the
other good things you can't escape your perspective
perspective
so we hear loneliness oh my god my stomach
stomach
is hurting so bad about the ultimate
loneliness of life but then we hear this
like goodness part that
we realize we can't judge anyone and
maybe we should just focus on bettering ourselves
ourselves
and respecting other people yes that
means we're all completely unique
we're all specifically made we're all specifically
specifically
all everything that's compiled within
our body within our head within
everything completely different from
everybody else
nobody can take that from you or no one
can take that
from you no one can take that from you
that to me
is what is so wonderful about this yes
you never fully know another human being
but no one can take your spark
absolutely no one can so you know my
favorite quote at the end of every email
if you ever email me through the email system
system
gosh can i recite it right now um every
freedom can be taken from man something
like this
except for the last of the human
freedoms to choose one's own way in any
given set of circumstances
to choose one's own perspective we'll
talk later in the semester about victor
frankl he was a psychologist that was studying
studying
resilience and happiness and meaning
while he was in a concentration camp
he wasn't a psychologist working in a
concentration camp
he was a prisoner in a concentration camp
camp
and he thought how is it that some
people here everything's taken from them
your right to wear clothes your right to
eat your
your all of the everything is taken from you
you
he said there's one thing they can't
take my spark
my perspective how i take up this situation
situation
that always makes me want to cry life
can mistreat you
but no one can take away your ability to
choose your perspective
and it protects you it keeps you safe
and i remember one time i asked the class
class
what do y'all think about this and the
first response the idea that you you
know you know what
you can't save your perspective um she
said that makes me feel
safe because she had had a lot of people
who tried to violate boundaries with her
and she's like i have this one part of
me that no one can ever enter
it's mine no one can take it from me and
i can be safe there
and i have control and can choose that i
think it's so
important for us to realize that because
you know ivy before you're saying
nature and nurture and it's like that
third thing you
you get to take up the genetics you're
dealt and the environment you're dealt
and you get to kind of put it together
in the way you want
and decide things the way that you want
and so there is something wonderful
about it i have one minute so
freud says that psychology is about a
voyage of self-discovery resulting in
our becoming more fully human
so we may no longer be enslaved without
knowing it to the dark forces that
reside in us or any forces outside of us
by exploring and understanding these
forces we not only become much better
able to cope with them
but also gain a much deeper and more
compassionate understanding of our
fellow man
i hope that all of that starts to make
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