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Young People and Social Media - Santosh Poonen
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hello dear brothers and sisters and
especially young people it's a joy to be
able to speak to you this way even
though I would much rather be there in
person so these questions that you have
asked are all very good questions and I
am especially blessed by the honesty and
the sincerity that I sense in the
questions so I thought I would go
through them one by one and just share a
few thoughts that the Lord is laid on my heart
heart
in response the first one relates to
social media and its use is it okay to
use and that sort of thing and I want to
give you two words regarding social
media the first is the word master you
find it in Matthew chapter 6 verse 24
Matthew 6 verse 24 this is a verse you
probably know well if you've been in CFC
even for a short time I'm sure you've
heard this verse Matthew 6 verse 24 says
no one can serve two masters for either
he will hate the one and love the other
or he will be devoted to one and despise
the other you cannot serve God and Mammon
Mammon
so this word master I think of social
media in the same category as money
sports entertainment fame etc and all of
them I think fall into this category of
Mammon but it's interesting to note that
Jesus didn't say you cannot have God and Mammon
Mammon
he said you cannot serve God and Mammon
so the issue with Mammon has to do with
rulership that means does it control you
so just like there's nothing inherently
sinful in money itself the danger with
money is that it can have power over you
in the same way there's nothing
inherently wrong in social media as long
as what you're looking at or reading is
not sinful
the danger in social media is in the
power that it can have over you
so if social media is your slave that
means you have control over it then
you're putting it to good use just like
if money is your slave then you're
putting it to good use
but if social media is your master that
means it has control over you and you
find that you're always responding to
the pull of social media then you must
seek to be free from that power just
like you want to be freed from any thing
that has power over you except God
himself I've heard it said that one way
to know what your Idol is is by looking
at what is the first thing you think
about in the morning it's an interesting
way I don't know if it's entirely
accurate but I've used that as a test
for myself so for example as soon as you
wake up in the morning if you find that
you're getting on your phone or your
computer to check social media perhaps
that is your master
the second word I want you to think
about is the word entangled entangled
that's in second Timothy the first
Timothy chapter to know this 2nd Timothy
chapter 2 verse 4 2nd Timothy chapter 2
verse 4 Paul writes to Timothy who he
refers to as a young person as a young
man so there's lots of good advice in
1st and 2nd Timothy for young people
sure he says 2nd Timothy 2 verse 4 no
soldier in active service and tangles
himself in the affairs of everyday life
so that he may please the one who
enlisted him as a soldier so here again
he's not talking about sinful things
he's talking about everyday life in the
affairs of everyday life so it's clear
that it is possible for normal everyday
life things to entangle us and social
media can be like that as well
um thick tough entanglement like a heavy
ball and chain attached to your leg if
you had a heavy ball and chain attached
to your leg
you can survive it won't kill you but
it's going to be very difficult to live
your life every time you have to get up
from the chair is very slow if you have
to go to work it'll take you a long time
if you have to catch the bus you may
miss the bus because it'll take you such
a long time to get on the bus so
everything is very sluggish and it's the
same thing spiritually as well
if the everyday things of life become an
entanglement that means they're attached
to you in some way that you can't get
your mind off of it or you can't stop
yourself from always checking your phone
or looking on Facebook or Instagram and
it's become an entanglement and it will
slow down your spiritual life
remember the spiritual life is a race so
all the more reason that we have no
attachment nothing that slows us down
another picture that has helped me is
think of it like a a bottle of very
expensive perfume that you have but
there's a hole at the bottom and over a
period of time that hole will drain the
bottle of everything that's in there all
that precious perfume and think about
those little moments during the day
where if you're not careful they can
become like little holes at the bottom
of your bottle of perfume and that
bottle of perfume that you have near
young people is your time very very very
precious there's no amount of monetary
money value that you can put on that
time that you have and these things
social media if you're not master over
them can become like little holes of the
bottle at the bottom of this precious
bottle of perfume that you have and one
day you'll wake up in your 30s or 40s
and wonder where did all that time go
through these little holes at the bottom
drain that time so another one thing you
can do perhaps I'll be honest I haven't
done this myself I haven't felt the need
to do it but I'll just share it as a as
an advice to consider if you feel like
you need to do it that is maybe to
satisfy your own curiosity I've always
thought about doing it maybe I will do it
it
um before you look at on your phone at
something whether it's Facebook or
Instagram or whatever start a little
timer on the phone and then once you're
done looking at it stop the timer and
then throughout the day every time you
go back on Facebook or Twitter or
Instagram start the timer again and I
keep track of of it and at the end of
the day add up the total of all the time
that you spend you may be surprised how
much time you actually spent on those
things that you thought ah I'll just
check it real quick and those real quick
moments add up to a lot of time so if
that helps you consider doing it just as
an exercise maybe for one day just to
get a feel for how much time you
actually spend on social media so I hope
that answers help and answers that helps
answer that question a little bit ok the
second and fifth question in the in the
order in which they were sent to me
relate to whether you can use social
media to find a partner life partner or
having potentially romantic
relationships that begin through social
media the only thing I'll say here is to
be especially careful of interactions on
social media because social media allows
you to develop a personality and a world
of imagination as it were that is
artificial because online you can make
yourself out to be somebody that you're
not in real life
and that's that's dangerous ultimately
God intended for us to be people who
interact with each other face-to-face
and even if you're the relationship with
somebody you end up marrying begins
long-distance or over social media
eventually when you get married
you have to be face to face with that
person that's how God intended our lives
to be on this earth so getting too
caught up with how things are on social
media or on the internet can not only
lead you into a lot of temptation and
sin but it can end up in heartbreak you
may you may make that online interaction
to be more than it actually is and more
than the other person thinks it is in
your imaginary world could somebody come
crashing down and I know of people who
have been deeply hurt by things that
were just a relation and the interaction
on online so that is why it's best - the
best way to know whether you are in that
safe area is by having people in your
life who are spiritually minded and have
your best interests at heart and they
will speak the truth to you and they can
guide you in these things if the person
that you're interacting with on social
media is not a believer and not somebody
that you know would be good to be
married to because they're not really
interested in spiritual things perhaps
or for some other reason then you
ultimately if you pursue anything with
them even online it's just another form
of lust and it will never satisfy you
you will end up being more hurt and
heartbroken if the person that you're
interacting with or trying to interact
with is a believer and is somebody that
you think you could be married to then
the best thing you can do is to include
spiritually minded people like your
parents or your elders or youth leaders
in your thoughts and conversations about
this person so that they can help you see
see
if this is healthy and help you move it
in the right direction so that
eventually it can become a face-to-face
thing and eventually if it is God's will
marriage so think about those things be
careful of the artificial nature of
online interactions and it's okay if it
starts there as long as it's guided by
spiritually minded people that are that
God has placed in your life and that it
ultimately evolves into something that's
healthy personal and face-to-face the
third question had to do with mixed
group chats and if they are healthy and
advisable also I think there was a
question about what how to handle a
situation where an acquaintance or a
friend keeps trying to develop something
or interact or ping you with text or
something like that first of all is with
regard to mixed group co-ed group chats
as long as the conversation in those
chats is not sinful or flirtatious then
I don't see anything wrong with it
because for most of us if not all of us
our school or workplace environments are
co-ed there are boys and girls men and
women there and so likewise those group
chats are okay as long as the content
and the purpose of that group is not
sinful or flirtatious in any way if as
far as how to deal with somebody who
tries to contact you and is constantly
trying to draw you or lure you read
proverbs chapter seven sometime and look
there on the dangers that are there when
someone of the opposite sex
stantly tries to draw you it's a very
good chapter to read and the warning
that's there applies today for these
types of online situations the fourth
question that was given to me was this
what was called a dichotomy or a
separation of how relationships are in
the workplace in the world and in the
church where you can feel perhaps that
in the workplace there's a casual
friendly atmosphere of interaction
between the opposite sexes and the
church may not be that way or may not
feel that way the first thing I'll say
is that just because it feels more free
in the workplace
doesn't make it better most of the
so-called freedom in the workplace is
actually fueled by lust by sexual lust
that is why the work place is full of
sexually sinful behavior so much so that
even the world recognizes it and
companies have to train their employees
on how to be appropriate such a thing
must never even be heard of in the
church which is why we must be very
careful but sadly the result of
Christians seen that apparent freedom in
the world and trying to bring it into
the church as well saying that's how it
should be has resulted in churches also
becoming like that where there is
harassment and inappropriate behavior
within so culture within Christendom and
that's and must also keep in mind that
what you think of as a level of comfort
of interaction between the opposite sex
may not be a level of comfort that the
other person of the opposite sex is
comfortable with and feels free to have
just because you think it feels free or
feels comfortable may not be something
that the other person feels comfortable
with so it's important for us to find
that healthy
that said the other extreme is where
there is an unhealthy awkwardness
between boys and girls or men and women
now some of that is natural there is a
natural awkwardness or maybe lateral
carefulness that God has built into us
for our own protection and the devil is
keen to rid us of that inhibition
between men and women and make it so
free and that you must be careful about
but there is a healthy balance and a
verse that has helped me in this regard
is in 1st Timothy chapter 5 again
another verse in 1st Timothy or in in
the letters to Timothy 1st Timothy
chapter 5 we read in verse 2 Paul tells
Timothy how to treat the women that are
his peers because he's a young man and
so in 1st Timothy 5 verse 2 Paul says
treat the younger women which is your
peers Timothy or women that are younger
than you as sisters in all purity so
there's two words there that are helpful
as a guide for us first is the word
sisters the second is the word purity so
I think of it like this to treat every
other young person single person or
person your age as if they were your
brother or sister which means that
you're interacting with them doesn't
lead you into lustful thoughts about
them because you would never think a
lustful thought about your own brother
or sister and you can do that with
purity if you had a sister and you're a
man or a boy and you look at that sister
there's no lust there you can interact
with them that way if you're a girl and
you have a brother you can interact with
your brother in a way that doesn't lead
to lust so this is Paul's advice through
the Holy Spirit to Timothy to seek to live
live
this way and so in doing so you can seek
to have that relationship with boys and
girls men and women of the opposite sex
being watchful that it doesn't cross the
line and you'll know that it's crossed
the line if you've you feel within you
if you're honest with yourself a lustful
fart or some attraction coming into
place and then you must step back and be
watchful over that and be aware of that
because that otherwise that will lead
you into sin or an unhealthy situation
and finally I would say ask your youth
leaders and your elders and your parents
they're spiritually minded for guidance
on how to practically live out this
verse in the context of the church
setting or even in your school or
workplaces God will give you wisdom and
give them wisdom to guide you in that
this next question has to do with the
use of social media to vent frustration
have to be careful about that because if
you if the sole purpose of posting
something on Facebook or tweeting about
something is to vent that frustration
that's inside it's never healthy if it
comes out if the purpose of it is to
just get it off your chest especially if
you're doing it about somebody else
where you're speaking about somebody or
some group of people it would first of
all be a form of gossip or slander which
the Bible forbids but as I mentioned
earlier social media allows you to hide
behind your phone or your computer and
speak or act in a way that you would
never do in person and you must be
careful about that because there are a
lot of people who type or post or write
things that they would never never say
in person
and there's something unhealthy about
that the answer is really in the
question and that is to meditate much on
God's love for you I think the question
specifically pertained to a sense of
fear of off your leaders or your parents
or whatever situation you're in the
authorities that God has placed over you
meditate much on God's love for you like
the question said and asked him also as
God also to show you the genuine love of
your elders and your godly parents and
you will find that that perfect love
casts out fear first John 4 verse 18
perfect love casts out that fear and
once that fear is removed because you've
received God's perfect love you will be
able to find healthy avenues a healthy
way to express and to bring come and to
find healing for that hurt or that
bitterness that wants to find a route
and you can deal with it in a healthy
way instead if you just post about it on
Facebook or write an email to somebody
about it it's just a form of gossip
really it's not only forbidden it will
also just end up being a weight in your
soul a heavy weight in your soul that
will drag you down it's not healthy
there are healthiest way to deal with
hurt and offenses is to receive God's
perfect love to find security and God's
love for me and allow God's love for
others around me to flow through me as
well okay the last question relates to
again thank you for asking these
questions I it has been an opportunity
for me also to search my own heart to
guard my own heart proverbs 4 verse 23
guard your heart with all diligence or
from it
come this spring's are the issues of
life guard in your heart so it's been a
good reminder for me
to check my own heart as you've as I've
thought about these questions that you
asked including this last one which
relates to how youth leaders can help
guide and and leaders of children can
help guide the children and the youth
and provide a healthier atmosphere or a
healthy atmosphere and a balanced
atmosphere for the young people to grow
I want you to know that for me growing
up in CFC I had one of the I had
probably the healthiest atmosphere I
could think of
now I didn't realize it at the time and
it wasn't perfect I don't think anything
is perfect on this earth but it was much
healthier than anything else I've seen
in the world elsewhere that's for sure
and when I was young a child and a young
person growing up in the church I'm sure
they're I I can't remember exactly but
I'm sure that were thoughts that came
into my mind little forms of complaints
perhaps towards my parents or somebody
else in a church and I made a big deal
out of it in my mind
perhaps but when I left home and got to
see a little bit of what else is there
in the world I realized what a wonderful
thing it is to have a New Covenant
Church where there are brothers and
sisters that genuinely care for you it
is a precious thing so I hope you never
lose sight of it or if you have a hard
time seeing it I hope that the Lord
takes you somewhere to see what else is
out there in the world
and you recognize it's a precious thing
to have what you have there in CFC I
still remember it deeply and fondly and
very thankful for that and so much so
that it has become the passion of my
life in the last 10 years to create the
same atmosphere the same spirit here in
Colorado for my children I want them to
have that same atmosphere
um for youth leaders one of the things
that I've tried to do is to build a
relationship with the young people and
the children so when you see them let's
say after the meeting you see them there
instead of just walking by
maybe stop and have a conversation with
one of them or a few of them ask them
some casual questions about their
everyday life without super
spiritualizing it and I know I've fallen
into that trap a little bit where I
think everything must have a verse
attached to it or some sort of super
spiritual language just talk about
everyday life find out what their
interests are and try to establish a
relationship with them on that topic or
on that subject and if it's cricket or
motorcycles or clothes or whatever it
might be find that that thing that they
have an interest in if it's not a sinful
thing obviously and use that as an
opportunity to develop a relationship
with them also you could organize games
or activities for them and play with
them don't just be the organizer
get in with them and let ask them if
they'll let you play with with them as
part of the game and I think you are
already doing that you youth leaders so
continue to do that what it will do is
it will develop a relationship of trust
with them where they realize that you're
not just there to tell them what they
should do and what they shouldn't do but
that you're there to listen to them and
to take an interest in them to love them
to walk alongside them and that will
lead them to feel comfortable to open up
to you about their struggles and about
their journey and and it'll take time
but if you invest in then you'll bear it
will bear rich dividends I can think of
many older [Music]
[Music]
older yelling youth leaders in CFC who
were there for me when I was grown up
and very very thankful for them and that
the Lord used them in my life to sow
seeds that are bearing fruit now and if
they and it wasn't always spiritual or
religious language it was just them
taking an interest in me and praying for
me and showing me that they cared about
me without an agenda so all that to say
I believe you all there in CFC are doing
a wonderful work you are ahead of us as
an example to this day you continue to
be all of you there and thankful to the
Lord for you all and I look forward to
the next time I get to see you all may
the Lord bless you and encourage you and
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