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Young People and Social Media - Santosh Poonen

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hello dear brothers and sisters and

especially young people it's a joy to be

able to speak to you this way even

though I would much rather be there in

person so these questions that you have

asked are all very good questions and I

am especially blessed by the honesty and

the sincerity that I sense in the

questions so I thought I would go

through them one by one and just share a

few thoughts that the Lord is laid on my heart

heart

in response the first one relates to

social media and its use is it okay to

use and that sort of thing and I want to

give you two words regarding social

media the first is the word master you

find it in Matthew chapter 6 verse 24

Matthew 6 verse 24 this is a verse you

probably know well if you've been in CFC

even for a short time I'm sure you've

heard this verse Matthew 6 verse 24 says

no one can serve two masters for either

he will hate the one and love the other

or he will be devoted to one and despise

the other you cannot serve God and Mammon

Mammon

so this word master I think of social

media in the same category as money

sports entertainment fame etc and all of

them I think fall into this category of

Mammon but it's interesting to note that

Jesus didn't say you cannot have God and Mammon

Mammon

he said you cannot serve God and Mammon

so the issue with Mammon has to do with

rulership that means does it control you

so just like there's nothing inherently

sinful in money itself the danger with

money is that it can have power over you

in the same way there's nothing

inherently wrong in social media as long

as what you're looking at or reading is

not sinful

the danger in social media is in the

power that it can have over you

so if social media is your slave that

means you have control over it then

you're putting it to good use just like

if money is your slave then you're

putting it to good use

but if social media is your master that

means it has control over you and you

find that you're always responding to

the pull of social media then you must

seek to be free from that power just

like you want to be freed from any thing

that has power over you except God

himself I've heard it said that one way

to know what your Idol is is by looking

at what is the first thing you think

about in the morning it's an interesting

way I don't know if it's entirely

accurate but I've used that as a test

for myself so for example as soon as you

wake up in the morning if you find that

you're getting on your phone or your

computer to check social media perhaps

that is your master

the second word I want you to think

about is the word entangled entangled

that's in second Timothy the first

Timothy chapter to know this 2nd Timothy

chapter 2 verse 4 2nd Timothy chapter 2

verse 4 Paul writes to Timothy who he

refers to as a young person as a young

man so there's lots of good advice in

1st and 2nd Timothy for young people

sure he says 2nd Timothy 2 verse 4 no

soldier in active service and tangles

himself in the affairs of everyday life

so that he may please the one who

enlisted him as a soldier so here again

he's not talking about sinful things

he's talking about everyday life in the

affairs of everyday life so it's clear

that it is possible for normal everyday

life things to entangle us and social

media can be like that as well

um thick tough entanglement like a heavy

ball and chain attached to your leg if

you had a heavy ball and chain attached

to your leg

you can survive it won't kill you but

it's going to be very difficult to live

your life every time you have to get up

from the chair is very slow if you have

to go to work it'll take you a long time

if you have to catch the bus you may

miss the bus because it'll take you such

a long time to get on the bus so

everything is very sluggish and it's the

same thing spiritually as well

if the everyday things of life become an

entanglement that means they're attached

to you in some way that you can't get

your mind off of it or you can't stop

yourself from always checking your phone

or looking on Facebook or Instagram and

it's become an entanglement and it will

slow down your spiritual life

remember the spiritual life is a race so

all the more reason that we have no

attachment nothing that slows us down

another picture that has helped me is

think of it like a a bottle of very

expensive perfume that you have but

there's a hole at the bottom and over a

period of time that hole will drain the

bottle of everything that's in there all

that precious perfume and think about

those little moments during the day

where if you're not careful they can

become like little holes at the bottom

of your bottle of perfume and that

bottle of perfume that you have near

young people is your time very very very

precious there's no amount of monetary

money value that you can put on that

time that you have and these things

social media if you're not master over

them can become like little holes of the

bottle at the bottom of this precious

bottle of perfume that you have and one

day you'll wake up in your 30s or 40s

and wonder where did all that time go

through these little holes at the bottom

drain that time so another one thing you

can do perhaps I'll be honest I haven't

done this myself I haven't felt the need

to do it but I'll just share it as a as

an advice to consider if you feel like

you need to do it that is maybe to

satisfy your own curiosity I've always

thought about doing it maybe I will do it

um before you look at on your phone at

something whether it's Facebook or

Instagram or whatever start a little

timer on the phone and then once you're

done looking at it stop the timer and

then throughout the day every time you

go back on Facebook or Twitter or

Instagram start the timer again and I

keep track of of it and at the end of

the day add up the total of all the time

that you spend you may be surprised how

much time you actually spent on those

things that you thought ah I'll just

check it real quick and those real quick

moments add up to a lot of time so if

that helps you consider doing it just as

an exercise maybe for one day just to

get a feel for how much time you

actually spend on social media so I hope

that answers help and answers that helps

answer that question a little bit ok the

second and fifth question in the in the

order in which they were sent to me

relate to whether you can use social

media to find a partner life partner or

having potentially romantic

relationships that begin through social

media the only thing I'll say here is to

be especially careful of interactions on

social media because social media allows

you to develop a personality and a world

of imagination as it were that is

artificial because online you can make

yourself out to be somebody that you're

not in real life

and that's that's dangerous ultimately

God intended for us to be people who

interact with each other face-to-face

and even if you're the relationship with

somebody you end up marrying begins

long-distance or over social media

eventually when you get married

you have to be face to face with that

person that's how God intended our lives

to be on this earth so getting too

caught up with how things are on social

media or on the internet can not only

lead you into a lot of temptation and

sin but it can end up in heartbreak you

may you may make that online interaction

to be more than it actually is and more

than the other person thinks it is in

your imaginary world could somebody come

crashing down and I know of people who

have been deeply hurt by things that

were just a relation and the interaction

on online so that is why it's best - the

best way to know whether you are in that

safe area is by having people in your

life who are spiritually minded and have

your best interests at heart and they

will speak the truth to you and they can

guide you in these things if the person

that you're interacting with on social

media is not a believer and not somebody

that you know would be good to be

married to because they're not really

interested in spiritual things perhaps

or for some other reason then you

ultimately if you pursue anything with

them even online it's just another form

of lust and it will never satisfy you

you will end up being more hurt and

heartbroken if the person that you're

interacting with or trying to interact

with is a believer and is somebody that

you think you could be married to then

the best thing you can do is to include

spiritually minded people like your

parents or your elders or youth leaders

in your thoughts and conversations about

this person so that they can help you see

see

if this is healthy and help you move it

in the right direction so that

eventually it can become a face-to-face

thing and eventually if it is God's will

marriage so think about those things be

careful of the artificial nature of

online interactions and it's okay if it

starts there as long as it's guided by

spiritually minded people that are that

God has placed in your life and that it

ultimately evolves into something that's

healthy personal and face-to-face the

third question had to do with mixed

group chats and if they are healthy and

advisable also I think there was a

question about what how to handle a

situation where an acquaintance or a

friend keeps trying to develop something

or interact or ping you with text or

something like that first of all is with

regard to mixed group co-ed group chats

as long as the conversation in those

chats is not sinful or flirtatious then

I don't see anything wrong with it

because for most of us if not all of us

our school or workplace environments are

co-ed there are boys and girls men and

women there and so likewise those group

chats are okay as long as the content

and the purpose of that group is not

sinful or flirtatious in any way if as

far as how to deal with somebody who

tries to contact you and is constantly

trying to draw you or lure you read

proverbs chapter seven sometime and look

there on the dangers that are there when

someone of the opposite sex

stantly tries to draw you it's a very

good chapter to read and the warning

that's there applies today for these

types of online situations the fourth

question that was given to me was this

what was called a dichotomy or a

separation of how relationships are in

the workplace in the world and in the

church where you can feel perhaps that

in the workplace there's a casual

friendly atmosphere of interaction

between the opposite sexes and the

church may not be that way or may not

feel that way the first thing I'll say

is that just because it feels more free

in the workplace

doesn't make it better most of the

so-called freedom in the workplace is

actually fueled by lust by sexual lust

that is why the work place is full of

sexually sinful behavior so much so that

even the world recognizes it and

companies have to train their employees

on how to be appropriate such a thing

must never even be heard of in the

church which is why we must be very

careful but sadly the result of

Christians seen that apparent freedom in

the world and trying to bring it into

the church as well saying that's how it

should be has resulted in churches also

becoming like that where there is

harassment and inappropriate behavior

within so culture within Christendom and

that's and must also keep in mind that

what you think of as a level of comfort

of interaction between the opposite sex

may not be a level of comfort that the

other person of the opposite sex is

comfortable with and feels free to have

just because you think it feels free or

feels comfortable may not be something

that the other person feels comfortable

with so it's important for us to find

that healthy

that said the other extreme is where

there is an unhealthy awkwardness

between boys and girls or men and women

now some of that is natural there is a

natural awkwardness or maybe lateral

carefulness that God has built into us

for our own protection and the devil is

keen to rid us of that inhibition

between men and women and make it so

free and that you must be careful about

but there is a healthy balance and a

verse that has helped me in this regard

is in 1st Timothy chapter 5 again

another verse in 1st Timothy or in in

the letters to Timothy 1st Timothy

chapter 5 we read in verse 2 Paul tells

Timothy how to treat the women that are

his peers because he's a young man and

so in 1st Timothy 5 verse 2 Paul says

treat the younger women which is your

peers Timothy or women that are younger

than you as sisters in all purity so

there's two words there that are helpful

as a guide for us first is the word

sisters the second is the word purity so

I think of it like this to treat every

other young person single person or

person your age as if they were your

brother or sister which means that

you're interacting with them doesn't

lead you into lustful thoughts about

them because you would never think a

lustful thought about your own brother

or sister and you can do that with

purity if you had a sister and you're a

man or a boy and you look at that sister

there's no lust there you can interact

with them that way if you're a girl and

you have a brother you can interact with

your brother in a way that doesn't lead

to lust so this is Paul's advice through

the Holy Spirit to Timothy to seek to live

live

this way and so in doing so you can seek

to have that relationship with boys and

girls men and women of the opposite sex

being watchful that it doesn't cross the

line and you'll know that it's crossed

the line if you've you feel within you

if you're honest with yourself a lustful

fart or some attraction coming into

place and then you must step back and be

watchful over that and be aware of that

because that otherwise that will lead

you into sin or an unhealthy situation

and finally I would say ask your youth

leaders and your elders and your parents

they're spiritually minded for guidance

on how to practically live out this

verse in the context of the church

setting or even in your school or

workplaces God will give you wisdom and

give them wisdom to guide you in that

this next question has to do with the

use of social media to vent frustration

have to be careful about that because if

you if the sole purpose of posting

something on Facebook or tweeting about

something is to vent that frustration

that's inside it's never healthy if it

comes out if the purpose of it is to

just get it off your chest especially if

you're doing it about somebody else

where you're speaking about somebody or

some group of people it would first of

all be a form of gossip or slander which

the Bible forbids but as I mentioned

earlier social media allows you to hide

behind your phone or your computer and

speak or act in a way that you would

never do in person and you must be

careful about that because there are a

lot of people who type or post or write

things that they would never never say

in person

and there's something unhealthy about

that the answer is really in the

question and that is to meditate much on

God's love for you I think the question

specifically pertained to a sense of

fear of off your leaders or your parents

or whatever situation you're in the

authorities that God has placed over you

meditate much on God's love for you like

the question said and asked him also as

God also to show you the genuine love of

your elders and your godly parents and

you will find that that perfect love

casts out fear first John 4 verse 18

perfect love casts out that fear and

once that fear is removed because you've

received God's perfect love you will be

able to find healthy avenues a healthy

way to express and to bring come and to

find healing for that hurt or that

bitterness that wants to find a route

and you can deal with it in a healthy

way instead if you just post about it on

Facebook or write an email to somebody

about it it's just a form of gossip

really it's not only forbidden it will

also just end up being a weight in your

soul a heavy weight in your soul that

will drag you down it's not healthy

there are healthiest way to deal with

hurt and offenses is to receive God's

perfect love to find security and God's

love for me and allow God's love for

others around me to flow through me as

well okay the last question relates to

again thank you for asking these

questions I it has been an opportunity

for me also to search my own heart to

guard my own heart proverbs 4 verse 23

guard your heart with all diligence or

from it

come this spring's are the issues of

life guard in your heart so it's been a

good reminder for me

to check my own heart as you've as I've

thought about these questions that you

asked including this last one which

relates to how youth leaders can help

guide and and leaders of children can

help guide the children and the youth

and provide a healthier atmosphere or a

healthy atmosphere and a balanced

atmosphere for the young people to grow

I want you to know that for me growing

up in CFC I had one of the I had

probably the healthiest atmosphere I

could think of

now I didn't realize it at the time and

it wasn't perfect I don't think anything

is perfect on this earth but it was much

healthier than anything else I've seen

in the world elsewhere that's for sure

and when I was young a child and a young

person growing up in the church I'm sure

they're I I can't remember exactly but

I'm sure that were thoughts that came

into my mind little forms of complaints

perhaps towards my parents or somebody

else in a church and I made a big deal

out of it in my mind

perhaps but when I left home and got to

see a little bit of what else is there

in the world I realized what a wonderful

thing it is to have a New Covenant

Church where there are brothers and

sisters that genuinely care for you it

is a precious thing so I hope you never

lose sight of it or if you have a hard

time seeing it I hope that the Lord

takes you somewhere to see what else is

out there in the world

and you recognize it's a precious thing

to have what you have there in CFC I

still remember it deeply and fondly and

very thankful for that and so much so

that it has become the passion of my

life in the last 10 years to create the

same atmosphere the same spirit here in

Colorado for my children I want them to

have that same atmosphere

um for youth leaders one of the things

that I've tried to do is to build a

relationship with the young people and

the children so when you see them let's

say after the meeting you see them there

instead of just walking by

maybe stop and have a conversation with

one of them or a few of them ask them

some casual questions about their

everyday life without super

spiritualizing it and I know I've fallen

into that trap a little bit where I

think everything must have a verse

attached to it or some sort of super

spiritual language just talk about

everyday life find out what their

interests are and try to establish a

relationship with them on that topic or

on that subject and if it's cricket or

motorcycles or clothes or whatever it

might be find that that thing that they

have an interest in if it's not a sinful

thing obviously and use that as an

opportunity to develop a relationship

with them also you could organize games

or activities for them and play with

them don't just be the organizer

get in with them and let ask them if

they'll let you play with with them as

part of the game and I think you are

already doing that you youth leaders so

continue to do that what it will do is

it will develop a relationship of trust

with them where they realize that you're

not just there to tell them what they

should do and what they shouldn't do but

that you're there to listen to them and

to take an interest in them to love them

to walk alongside them and that will

lead them to feel comfortable to open up

to you about their struggles and about

their journey and and it'll take time

but if you invest in then you'll bear it

will bear rich dividends I can think of

many older [Music]

[Music]

older yelling youth leaders in CFC who

were there for me when I was grown up

and very very thankful for them and that

the Lord used them in my life to sow

seeds that are bearing fruit now and if

they and it wasn't always spiritual or

religious language it was just them

taking an interest in me and praying for

me and showing me that they cared about

me without an agenda so all that to say

I believe you all there in CFC are doing

a wonderful work you are ahead of us as

an example to this day you continue to

be all of you there and thankful to the

Lord for you all and I look forward to

the next time I get to see you all may

the Lord bless you and encourage you and

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