0:01 do you feel like you're living life on a
0:04 beat scrolling social media stuck in bad
0:06 habits and never hitting your goals well
0:08 10 years ago I was making $55,000 a year
0:11 completely overwhelmed and stuck today
0:13 I've co-founded a multi-million dollar
0:15 business and truly live the life that I
0:16 once dreamed of so if you're ready to
0:18 cut off the old version of yourself and
0:20 build the life that you've been dreaming
0:21 of here's exactly where to start
0:24 decision decision decision the first and
0:27 most important step to getting unstuck
0:28 is to understand that the old version of
0:31 you doesn't exist exist anymore unless
0:34 you choose to stay stuck you have to cut
0:36 off the person that you are right now to
0:38 become the person that you want to be so
0:40 how do you actually do this you see I
0:43 love to look up the derivation of words
0:46 and the derivation of the word decision
0:49 is to cut off which means you're no
0:50 longer the person that you were
0:52 yesterday if you have made a decision to
0:55 change that person doesn't exist imagine
0:57 if your car got stolen the next day you
0:59 couldn't wake up be able to use your old
1:00 vehicle in order to get to where you're
1:02 trying to go you'd have to come up with
1:03 some different solution you'd have to
1:05 take a bike you'd have to Uber maybe
1:08 you're walking you no longer have your
1:10 car as your option to travel now think
1:12 about this as a decision for you to
1:14 change your life if you're going to
1:15 become a person who works out every
1:17 single day or a person who is a badass
1:20 at sales or somebody who reads books and
1:22 is very well- read and articulate all of
1:24 a sudden if you decide to be that person
1:26 you are no longer the person that
1:28 doesn't do those things that person
1:29 doesn't exist any longer so you have to
1:32 to start making decisions as if you are
1:34 that new person because guess what you
1:37 are all because you made the decision
1:38 now once you've made the decision let's
1:41 make your environment easier so if you
1:44 know that you doom scroll on Tik Tok set
1:46 a policy make it so that moving forward
1:48 you have your screen time locked on your
1:50 phone you cannot scroll on Tik Tok for
1:51 longer than 5 minutes when you make
1:53 subtle changes like this to actually
1:55 change your environment you're doubling
1:58 down on the decision for you not to be
2:00 the old version of yourself so your
2:02 environment matters and the choices that
2:04 you need to make in order to get there
2:06 really matter and guess what they can be
2:07 small little tweaks being a whole
2:08 different version of you doesn't mean
2:10 that everything in your life changes but
2:12 the things that matter that you need to
2:15 make progress on have to happen today
2:17 and that decision has to be now my
2:19 second step to getting unstuck is to
2:23 ruin myself with disappointment in me
2:25 disappointment is the wakeup call that
2:27 you have been avoiding do not listen to
2:29 all of those nice memes and those fun
2:31 Tik toks that make you feel like you
2:33 should accept yourself and be okay with
2:34 yourself the way that you are if you're
2:36 disappointed because you know that you
2:38 have more in you you know that you could
2:40 impact more people you know you have
2:41 this great potential and instead you're
2:43 wasting it be freaking disappointed you
2:45 shouldn't feel good about yourself why
2:46 would you feel good about yourself
2:48 you're not living into what is possible
2:50 for you once you know that you're
2:51 unhappy with the way that your life
2:53 looks you can make that change but don't
2:55 Sugar Code it don't tell yourself lies
2:57 that you should just love yourself the
2:59 way that you are and give yourself a big
3:02 hug don't listen to that be
3:04 disappointed accept the disappointment
3:06 and take action my parents used to drag
3:08 me to a dinner every single year with a
3:11 family friend and this family friend was
3:14 very well educated very well read and
3:16 Incredibly successful but I hated going
3:17 to the dinner because he made me feel
3:20 bad about myself the amount of news that
3:21 he would read every single day would
3:23 remind me that instead of reading the
3:25 news I was watching television the way
3:26 that he would articulate questions and
3:28 his opinions would make me feel
3:29 uncomfortable because I realized I
3:31 didn't have an opinion because I didn't
3:32 even know what the freak he was talking
3:35 about he was so involved in politics and
3:37 what was happening in the world and I
3:39 realized I don't know the things that I
3:41 could know and that I really feel like I
3:42 should know and should be part of those
3:44 conversations so after many years of
3:46 dinners I finally decided to stop lying
3:49 to myself and take action what did I do
3:50 I ordered the economist I ordered the
3:52 Wall Street Journal to show up to my
3:53 house every single day and I became
3:55 interested in the news I became
3:57 interested in politics so that when I
3:58 showed up to dinner the next year I
4:00 would actually have opinions you see I
4:01 didn't lie to myself saying that those
4:03 things aren't important they were
4:05 important that brings us to step three
4:06 which is to decide what you want your
4:09 life to look like you cannot create the
4:11 life that you want without knowing what
4:13 you want if I'm totally honest I
4:15 entirely gave up on my goals for about 3
4:18 years I became introverted I just
4:20 decided to be stuck in life because I
4:22 felt really insecure to be honest and I
4:25 was not confident and I was so terrified
4:26 of what people thought of me that I just
4:28 didn't want to try and I'll never forget
4:31 flying to this comp conference and I had
4:33 said no to speaking at this conference
4:35 because I was scared and I didn't feel
4:36 confident but then I was sitting there
4:39 in the audience realizing I'm here I
4:41 could be participating I could be
4:43 contributing but instead my fear of
4:45 public speaking my fear of being seen my
4:47 fear of maybe people judging me or
4:49 criticizing me is going to keep me on
4:50 the sidelines and from that moment
4:52 forward I was like I'm not going to be
4:54 this person I refus to be the person
4:56 that doesn't have the life that they
4:57 want and so from there I took
5:00 accountability and said what do I want
5:02 my life to look like and I wrote down
5:04 all of my goals what do I want
5:05 personally what do I want my fitness
5:07 goals to be what do I want my family
5:08 goals to be what kind of friends do I
5:11 want to have professionally what type of
5:12 mentors do I want to bring in what are
5:14 the opportunities that I'd like to
5:16 create and financially how much money do
5:17 I want to make what do I want to
5:18 contribute to how could I make a
5:20 financial impact on a charity that
5:23 really matters to me because if I'm not
5:25 confident in myself today and I don't
5:27 feel like I can create the life that I
5:29 want I'm never going to create the
5:31 impact that I could potentially make and
5:33 I am put on this planet in order to live
5:35 into my potential and I think that you
5:36 are too so if you haven't done this
5:38 already I would pause this video and I
5:40 would take out a piece of paper or maybe
5:41 open up your notes app and I would write
5:43 down your personal professional and
5:46 financial 5year goals this will give you
5:47 a picture of who you want to be in the
5:50 future so that you can decide to be that
5:52 person today step four is the most
5:54 important thing you can do because you
5:57 have to know for sure that you moving
5:59 forward are you making progress daily
6:01 that is how you get out of the rut of
6:02 having this dream life but actually
6:04 feeling like you're making incremental
6:07 progress you're seeing wins you're
6:09 making a change one of my successful
6:11 habits around this is to plan my day the
6:13 night before I do not leave my office I
6:15 do not leave my place of work or go to
6:18 bed without having a full breakdown of
6:19 my calendar and where I'm spending my
6:21 time the next day make the plan the
6:23 night before so when I'm going through
6:24 my calendar I'm looking at what
6:26 appointments do I have what books am I
6:28 reading what podcasts do I need to
6:30 listen to How do I spring in little
6:32 pieces of future Natalie and make those
6:34 deposits today so that I can actually
6:36 get those opportunities in the future
6:38 because I'm well read on these things
6:40 because I'm in the know on what's
6:41 happening in the spaces that I'm
6:43 interested in going into the progress
6:45 you choose to make every single day is
6:47 what changes things it is not these big
6:49 steps it is the tiny incremental steps
6:51 that you make every single day that
6:53 change the trajectory of your life to
6:55 create the life that you've always
6:56 wanted and my hack for this is to
6:59 actually graph the things that are the
7:01 most important to me because if I can
7:03 see on a graph that I'm getting more
7:05 hours of sleep every single night that I
7:07 am working out consistently and that my
7:09 muscle mass is increasing or if I can
7:11 see that I'm actually making more money
7:13 month over month all of a sudden I feel
7:14 better about the growth because I can
7:16 see it moving up but if you aren't
7:18 graphing and you aren't paying attention
7:19 to those movements every day you're
7:21 going to feel like you're not getting
7:22 any closer and you're going to go back
7:25 into your rut so measuring the handful
7:27 of things that matter to you changes
7:29 everything step five is one of my
7:30 favorites and I don't hear people
7:32 talking about this wherever you're
7:34 currently spending your time stop
7:35 spending your time there if you're in a
7:38 rut the easiest way to get unstuck in
7:40 your life is to get out of your house
7:42 your environment dictates the way that
7:44 you feel so you're watching a video
7:46 right now about how to get unstuck if
7:48 you're feeling stuck that means that you
7:49 shouldn't stay in the environment where
7:51 you are stuck your environment can be
7:52 the type of social media that you
7:54 interact with your environment can be
7:55 the friends that you hang out with the
7:58 information that you're reading get out
8:00 of your house get out out of those
8:02 places where you feel stuck and do that
8:04 immediately if you're watching this in a
8:05 place where you don't feel great leave
8:07 the place that you're currently in and
8:08 getting out of your house is one of the
8:10 most effective things when you get out
8:11 of your house it means that you have to
8:13 be around other people back when I was
8:15 in college and I would really feel caved
8:17 in I would do my homework in my bed I
8:19 felt like I was just grinding and that
8:21 there was no end in sight my life was
8:22 always going to suck I would go and
8:25 study at a Starbucks and later on I
8:27 learned that the best place to study was
8:28 actually a hotel lobby because you were
8:30 just in a different environment it was a
8:32 different Groove I just felt better
8:34 about myself I put on a different outfit
8:36 I made my makeup a little bit nicer and
8:38 I felt like I was in a place like the
8:40 places that I wanted to be in the future
8:43 instead of physically being in the place
8:45 where I currently feel stuck so think of
8:46 ways that you could change your
8:47 environment if you currently study at
8:49 your house could you study in a library
8:51 if you currently work in a space with a
8:52 cooworker that you can't stand could you
8:54 ask your manager to move there are
8:56 creative ways to change your environment
8:58 and your environment is everything step
9:00 six is to realize realize that
9:03 entertainment disguised is education is
9:05 why you're not making progress if you
9:07 watch a bunch of these videos and you
9:09 never do anything after them you have
9:11 just substituted traditional
9:13 entertainment via Tik Tok or Netflix
9:16 with education that you're using as
9:19 entertainment and I am a huge culprit of
9:22 this I will never forget when I needed
9:24 some motivation it was back when I was
9:25 in high school I had to study for this
9:27 big AP exam I was going to watch this
9:29 movie about this inspirational story
9:30 story of this woman who had this
9:32 incredible gymnastics career in my mind
9:34 I was thinking I was being productive or
9:36 I was learning something learning how to
9:37 overcome and how to have grit really I
9:39 was just being educated back in the day
9:41 I didn't have YouTube but today I see
9:43 people doing this constantly where they
9:45 will just binge watch all of these
9:47 videos on how to launch an effective
9:48 marketing campaign how to grow on social
9:50 media how to make more money and they
9:51 feel better because instead of just
9:53 watching mindless reality television at
9:54 least they're learning something but
9:56 they're not pairing the learning of
9:58 something with the doing of something
10:00 this can lead to you feeling like you're
10:03 making progress when really you're not
10:04 so here's my rule of THB whenever I'm
10:06 watching reading or listening to
10:08 something I have to actually do
10:10 something immediately afterwards I can't
10:12 just go to the next video to the next
10:15 podcast find the next Guru you will not
10:16 have a better life you will not get
10:18 unstuck from your rut if you just go to
10:20 Natalie's next video although you should
10:21 go to my next video but that's not going
10:23 to really help you and I'm here to
10:25 actually help you so what can you do
10:26 right now that would make a change if I
10:28 was you I would take my laptop or I
10:30 would take my phone and I would get out
10:32 of my house and I would go set up shop
10:34 in a coffee shop or in some awesome
10:36 Swanky hotel lobby that is how you
10:37 implement and you make a change so that
10:39 you're actually making progress instead
10:41 of just being edutain next up is number
10:44 seven which is to separate yourself from
10:46 people who don't support you you can
10:47 take a break from people holding you
10:49 back and it doesn't have to be a breakup
10:51 this is a lesson that my mom taught me
10:53 she would tell me about the boyfriends
10:55 that she would break up with but they
10:57 didn't know that she broke up with them
10:59 and I was like Mom how did you do this
11:01 she said I would just create slow and
11:04 subtle distance instead of having this
11:06 big fight that created all this emotion
11:08 I would subtly become more and more busy
11:10 to the point where it just didn't make
11:11 sense for us to be together any longer
11:13 because I already had this new life with
11:15 things that I was passionate about and
11:16 they were still doing what they were
11:18 doing before we didn't have some massive
11:20 breakup but it was obvious to both
11:21 parties that there was no longer
11:24 alignment this is the best way to create
11:26 separation from your friends now here's
11:27 the deal with this don't make other
11:30 people wrong don't have some big
11:32 emotional blowup just separate yourself
11:34 and start being so busy working on
11:36 yourself doing things that are creating
11:37 the life that you want that you no
11:39 longer have the time that you used to
11:41 have if you have friends who you like to
11:43 party with and go out with on Friday
11:45 Saturday and Sunday nights just have
11:47 other things to do that you can't move
11:48 whatever it is that you're trying to
11:51 create make time to do those things in
11:53 the time that used to spend with people
11:54 who aren't helping you get closer to
11:56 your goals this is where I go back to
11:58 looking at my calendar and I cancel
12:00 anything that is is not helping me get
12:02 out of the rut that I'm in there is no
12:04 party that you can go to there is no
12:06 lunch that you can go to there is no
12:07 coffee that you can go to with your
12:09 friend that is going to make you feel
12:10 better about yourself again it's not to
12:12 make them bad and it's not to make them
12:14 wrong it's just to say I no longer have
12:16 time to talk about my current life
12:19 because I have to go do things and spend
12:21 time building a new version of my life
12:23 and I can't live my old life while
12:24 building the new version of my life that
12:26 brings us to our final step in getting
12:29 unstuck which is Step number eight just
12:32 to say no you have to say no to anything
12:33 that doesn't align with your goals I
12:35 used to make up errands that I had to
12:37 run instead of spending Saturday
12:39 actually learning a new skill and
12:41 investing in myself to make progress I
12:43 would come up with this list of all of
12:45 these things that I had to do I have to
12:48 go get my nails done I have to go to
12:51 Target I have to eat lunch I just
12:53 created all of these things that I had
12:55 to do when really I didn't have to do
12:57 any of them so sometimes saying no isn't
12:59 saying no to somebody else it's actually
13:01 saying no to the habits and the routines
13:03 and the things that you tell yourself
13:04 you have to do but they're really
13:06 distractions just taking you away from
13:08 the things that you actually have to do
13:10 if you're not making progress on the
13:12 real things that you need to do you have
13:14 to re-evaluate the things that you have
13:17 to do and start saying no to yourself if
13:19 you're ready to take this even further
13:21 watch my video on how to create your
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