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We Had to Get a Lawyer ft. The Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera & Jake Watson - Unsubscribe Ep 130 | UnsubscribePodcast | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: We Had to Get a Lawyer ft. The Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera & Jake Watson - Unsubscribe Ep 130
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Core Theme
This content is a lively and informal discussion covering a wide range of historical anecdotes, military equipment, and personal reflections, presented in a podcast-like format. It blends humor, historical facts, and personal experiences, often touching on themes of resilience, warfare, and the evolution of technology and society.
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April 19th 1775 this dude lived in
Arlington Massachusetts Paul River
showed up at homeboy's house in the
middle of the night like the British are
coming 78-year-old grizzled veteran two
dueling Pistols that he acquired during
the Pontiac Rebellion cuz the previous
owner and I quote died suddenly 700
British soldiers are retreating back to
Boston shoots with the musket kills
kills British guy whips out the two
pistols kills two more pulls out the
do you have a do you have a slur for
motans yeah what is it uh I don't know I
just get really mad because their their
license plates every like state has
their own little like catchphrase or
whatever blah blah blah Minnesota is
this home of 10,000 lakes forgot I open
it's like every every pothole with water
in it they're like that's a [ __ ] Lake
added to the tally [ __ ] okay I'm going
to take with this yeah go ahead what
this we have a standard for L are we are
we recording what no okay you're good
okay oh I'm just wondering how animated
[Music]
actally what's up everyone it's Eli uh
everyone is probably like what is going
on ah first things first we're going to
wish baddy the most success and love on
his next adventure that is all that
matters our boy is going out he's going
to do DND D he is going to stream and he
was going to crush it and we are going
to support him as a community and a
family so first things first baddy
cheers to you brother we wish you the
best we love you cheers brother I'm so
proud of what you're doing and I'm I am
excited to see what you come up with
love pickle juice it's so
delicious hey you're going to get real
me for a second um I know you see the
internet personality of me Hyper autism
everywhere um I'm an introvert at heart
a lot of people don't know that uh I I
like my quiet time I like my family time
and that's that's me this is very
socially draining opening
up I just want to thank each and every
one of you and I want you to all know
unsub isn't changing unsub has a
trajectory we have a path we have a
Define Mission and by God I'm going to
carry it across that finish line so help
me God not for myself but for all of you
and I mean that from the bottom of my goddamn
goddamn
heart if you want a real moment with Eli it
it
is I know what you've all given me and I
am so godamn appreciate of it till the
end of times I'm so happy you you rewind
back to when Ryden was born never
thought any of this would have been
possible I had a dude coming out of the
military doing therapy personal training poor
poor
[ __ ] and I get a watch I I now have
secured multiple things I I get to
motivate people to show them that like
no matter what you can grow into
something amazing most I get a support
my kid WR in and show him like Hey buddy
doesn't matter what trials and
tribulations you have at the end of the
day as long as you work hard and you
have a positive mindset and you dig deep
anything is
possible like anything's [ __ ]
possible and I appreciate all of you at
the end of the day for making that a
thing I love all of you and I'm sorry
I'm crying right now I'm just so happy
and I I am so thankful for all you have
done as an audience the team we have I
am so supportive of show G van Badd fluck
fluck
donut everyone that's been part of this
process thank you so goddamn much you
guys are
family always the end of the day you are
all family and all the guests that have
been part of this means the [ __ ]
world to me I'm truly blessed to have
each and every one of you in my life
period guys
girls be supportive of everyone just
love each other that's what it should be
at the end of the day it's just love kindness
kindness
support yall are amazing humans cheers
like Jake they're just Lakes calm down
these Lake Property Owners can go to
hell no it's no we have a standard it
has to be a certain size literally to be
qualified hole with water look here's
here's the thing I went I did I did
annual training at Camp Ripley one time
yeah big ass base up damn near in Canada
you know how many [ __ ] mosquitoes you
have in a state with 10,000 lakes H yeah
brother it's your state bird dud [ __ ]
terrible that's where my people come
from dude the Border people the white
people I thought that our we the I
thought we those there's the Border
people right here no the the other
border snow Mexicans yes snow Mexicans
snow Mexicans oh snow Mexicans this is
the most bizarre I I thought the
autistic comedian was going to be the
most autistic start to an episode no
like fighting over lakes that was a my
hatred of
Minnesota well you know that is the most
autistic thing to start with it's like
no this lake is better than that Lake ready
ready
everyone hold it one two 3 oh [ __ ] yeah
we're getting really good at that
now I've seen so many of these damn
episodes I I didn't even have to be
instructed what to do welcome to another
episode of unsubscribe followed by hey
your first time on it's my first time
unsubscribe we'll be gentle we'll be
gentle just you know maybe a little bit on
on
it Jake Mr Watson the lawyer that's
right I'm here to break things down and
beat people up we got the Beautiful Brandon
Brandon
babba and then uh can you introduce
yourself again my name's
Nick first time uh we're going to test
it out see how he does I don't
know like the last 10 he was on all did
Super well but it's fine I'm a little
I'm a little anxious about our guest
considering they just started fighting
about Lakes the entertainment value may
not just Lakes just one of the reasons I
hate Minnesota the other reason is
because they decided to put roundabouts
everywhere I mean listen if you expect
me to sit here and stand for this from
an Iowan it's not going to happen oh I'm
down for this we should have swapped you
guys just had you probably good I'm in the
the
middle I'm sorry where do you live I I
live in Texas I like my state enough to stay
stay
there I don't
know I mean fair enough but you be
became a YouTuber podcaster social media
personality only after you had already
established yourself there I mean I
houses don't want you to know this you
buy another house it's it's not the 1800
I don't have to buy like a [ __ ] wagon
and some oxen to move like I could just
pick my [ __ ] up and leave that's true
but uh it's why takes three weeks to
come to another
podcast I mean look I don't think I'm
going to out argue you but I'm
definitely going to try okay you're lawyer
lawyer
you this is your bread and butter yeah
but he talks so fast and he also uses
the shark hand science shark the knife
hand the knife hand oh man the commas
right now yeah now it's fine this is
going to be the new just going to say
shark a new be sub merch weapon of mass
instruction right here that's right
shark hand
NATO I've never heard shark hand wait
where did that come from look it's I I
got my my from all the legs language
sharks don't even have
hands no because I was watching I was
watching an angry Cops episode and he
was talking about a shark attack in
someone's face yeah which is you use KN
hands in a shark attack that makes sense
okay that's understandable I just like
shark hands it's a shark going like this
you have the knife hand yeah dude the
shark fan bro very intimidating yeah
welcome Jake welcome so you Jake comes
from Corridor Digital yep all the way
from the land of corridors I know from
LA and then you moved here uh two three
three years almost four years ago coming
up on it J's been a good friend with all
of us I did not know he was a lawyer for
like the first two years of knowing him
CU he would pull up in a motorcycle with
his tattoos and his leather on yeah and
do stuff around the office and leave I
was like oh and then one day we were
actually talking I was like so what do
you do he's like I'm the lawyer I was
like oh but
like what do you do for real like no I'm
going actually like pass the bar
millionaire that's
all living on Hunter Street just the
worst part of La you're like this is
great I [ __ ] love it to be fair
there's no real good parts of LA it's
all still [ __ ] La it's terrible
Hunter Street hasn't changed uh no yeah
it's I mean around it has changed but
the building itself hasn't changed and I
like that about it are we allowed to say
the name or do we need to bleep out
Hunter Street I mean we won't say the
address but it's probably I hope not
Hunter you mean I shouldn't tell him
you're at 4725 yeah it's right there and
then we got Mr Nick just flew in today
our baby boy and then Brandon just
Brandon being Brandon we're going to
start boxing being guys yeah excited to
start boxing again that'd be
fun we boxing uh each other yeah yeah is
far more Saturday Saturday we're trying
to we're seeing the dates everyone's
moving right now it's supposed to be um
oh my God I'll be here Saturday I can I
can box D you want to yeah yeah Saturday
we'll just set it up then everyone can
freaking box Nick's going to take him to
the ground and grapple and just break
everyone I know how to box too I box too
but you're really good at grappling say
I'd prefer you
didn't he's really good at grappling
Nick you've had a story to tell oh God
no I can't yet I'm not there what do you
need more caffine for sure I do want to
very much thank you and show
appreciation for your choice of March
yeah sure that I almost did it it was
almost it was almost close enough I saw
it I pulled the shirt up in the way Eli
got me once I'm never going to get got
again it was worth a shot I think it was
too early it was too early it was too
early you also can't hit me with my own
move that I hit you with yeah the same
setup oh I don't remember that so he
boops everyone cuz I was like first I'd
like to call attention to Brandon's
shirt cuz you wearing my shirt and
you're like you we just talked about it
I did it to him I was like he boobs
I haven't been booped in so long I
forgot what it was called dude the best
that's called being married it's the
best thing on the planet you haven't
been booped in so long for was it's
called like yeah that's marriage that's
that's not what I meant Brandon no dude
no it's the best opener within like two
hours of knowing somebody just Boop him
100% if it's a grown ass man and you get
booped it's like well we're either going
to be mortal enemies or we're going to
be really good friends there's no
[ __ ] in between now I'm just now I
have to wait for you to boot me yeah he
already got you it's kind of like the
Clone con it's like well we're either
[ __ ] or fighting science science well
he just wet willy donut which is great
it good there was a chinella in the
corner yeah he was just like that first
podcast was ridiculous wi I got the
first podcast he came at me hard he just
opened up my first podcast so what's
your least favorite race like thinking
he's going to throw me off and I'm like
marathons what about you
and whatever I booped him and then
randomly I'm like is that chinchilla
been there the whole time and Cody goes
what and looks I give him a Wet Willie
he's just a bully yeah yeah he's a high
school bul speaking of stereotypes if
you guys need one I got one I've got
Sony's I've got CBS I've got all kinds of
of
stereotypes I have a real question for
you that was a great quality dead joke
by the way thank you he's a dad no so I
always ask uh well I have asked in the
past like nurses or healthcare workers
like what's the most realistic
Healthcare TV show graay Anatomy scrubs
whatever whatever they always say
scrubs what's the most realistic lawyer
show there's quite a few of them now why
is it Su God I feel like suits is like
the gry's anatomy like that's what
everybody wants it to be I feel like not
that I went to law school for a year
with Jerry oconnell who is kind of a
beist actor known for his first role as
a child was in um what's that Goonies
movie yeah The Goonies he was in The
Goonies what was that Goonies movie I I
was trying to remember the name and then
and then as he got and then as he got
older he became kind of like this
beister and he was in this show um who's
that guy that died at the uh the chatau
Marmont uh he overdosed
he he uh we're not cultured here well
anywayi Belushi's brother oh okay Jim
balushi John balushi one of the
he was on a show with him and it was
called uh Jake do you have autism I
don't think so okay like why do you know
where he
died he was on the seventh floor room 719
719
anyways look this is just things I know
okay he was he was in my law school
program for a year um and uh he was on a
show after that I forget what it was
called but it was pretty good and that
was honestly pretty realistic and we all
asked him like look are you just here
for a role and he's like no no I want to
become a lawyer and then two semesters
in he like leaves and then all of a
sudden this show comes out where he
plays a lawyer and I was like you got to
all Jerry I swear to God if you don't
know the name of this show I've never
been so verbally blueballed in my entire
life right he's like oh it's actually
really good the show super accurate it's
uh know I don't here's the guy and his
dead brother's name and where he died
here was every coordinating piece to
this puzzle but the name of the show it
was I look I'm going to have to look it
up if you're going to press me on this
I'm have to look it up I think it was
called it was they were defense
attorneys helpful can you look it
up dude you were doing great I was just
going to let you have it look Jerry
oconnell defense attorney show what
other movie other than that one is one
where as he's saying where you're like
man they just got it that is how the
courtroom and why is it my cousin then
it's called The Defenders The Defenders
yeah I was I was going to say the
Defenders speaking of the offenders o
what you superpower oh yeah we haven't
done a superpower in a while oh it's
been a tick since we've done an Avengers
episode while I like this so how does
this game work uh you pick a superpower
and we pick the downside any superpower
any superpower you want we'll tell you
if it's been used or not yeah the slim
pickets right now okay um the ability to
control water oh it's a water bender
that's not been taken that is not that
is actually a really cool Power yeah told
told
you that's cuz I'm an aquarius this is
that's why Jesus Christ I'd like to be
an a Taurus Bender please just I want to
be able to shape shift
cows I thought you were like talking
signs he he's an aquarius he wants to do
water [ __ ] it I'm going to do cows okay
if someone can control water what would
be the greatest offset on that I mean
can you control ice to too cuz if as
soon as you leave water screwed water's
water yeah water's water H2O hard hard
water air water there's a there's a piss
side effect here somewhere that's what I
was thinking it's
like does the
p I'm trying to think of how that would
work or a downside that's just
completely annoying with the ability to
control water sonum water God that's
actually a you're welcome boys God God
damn lawyers I
what's a good offet for that I know fire
you're always you catch on fire anytime
there you go you're just your first
action has to be dousing yourself yeah
you can only shape shift water while
you're on fire so you have to constantly
make the decision to save your own life
or save whoever you're trying to help
the second the power is used and he just
ignites that's actually a really good
one cuz then he has to put himself out
as you're saying he like oh this hurts
too much puts himself out you looking
like crispy right God after about an a
minute you be be crisp ified my uh my
offset was just going to be mildly
annoying it's like you're you can never
be hydrated you're just always thirsty
like goes right through me can literally
constantly hung over yeah there you go
just constantly just deathly dehydrated
yeah like it's that hard like it is a
hard morning of drinking and you wake up
and it's that two-day hangover that's
every time that split it feels like
somebody put an axe in the middle of
your forehead the second you do it and
it can be a little or a lot but the more
you do it the harder that headche is
ironically hon I wouldn't even want to
control water if that was the case yeah
after 5 Seconds you're just like dude I
don't I give a [ __ ] anymore Jesus just
die I don't care I mean that's my kid
fell in the pool he can only control
water that's inside of his body like
that he has readily available so then he
does get hung over when the water leaves
yeah there you go so like the more water
you need to use the more hung over you
are the entire time
he's just streaming your tears out a
little bit of kidney failure like
[ __ ] too people you're like oh no
after a week of being on the offenders
you're just
jaundice oh it happened quick just
hating life Mr Brandon you just did an
RPG video I did GI you just helped me
with it it it was a blast uhuh I didn't
mean to do that that I'm
sorry I'm kidding G van don't even put
that in there cuz I don't Ryan Reynolds
yeah Ryan's Reynold sewer slides still
like sewer slides that's my favorite
thing to say now it needs to be a sure
like Spike pit at the bottom or some
[ __ ] but yeah you fired an RPG we found
out those have I didn't think how much
ass those had on them yeah it's a rocket
it's a it's a powerful rocket it's a
fast fast [ __ ] moving rocket like
punching through 55 gallon drums like it
was nothing that was what surprised me
so like for those who don't know it's
not like the [ __ ] movies where you
know like you have the 1984 Red Dawn
that just has
the and it's like super slow it's like w
like a wire guided [ __ ] bottle rocket
right it's pull the trigger boom you
just hit the [ __ ] wall 300 M away
it's it's real [ __ ] fast and it has
it has ass behind it You' seen the
videos where guys get hit by the
blowback on those like they yeah oh yeah
step in the wrong place at the wrong
time the person doesn't check yeah back
blast not clear you learn that key
phrase a lot of the time with at4 any uh
recoiless rifle system or rocket system
you have to always look backwards cuz it
will kill what is the I forget how close
it's a
ways there there's always the there's
these videos coming out of Ukraine where
like people are using RPGs cuz they've
seen their buddies do it and they've
never shot it or they don't understand
the concept of back blast I saw a dude
like trying to fire it up over a trench
and like rested it on his bicep and it
was just a real [ __ ] ripped they're
all wearing like these thick winter
jackets so it's really kind of hard to
see like the actual damage from the
Drone that is recording him or whatever
but it looked like a real limp sleeve
after that he got hit with the back
blast on his arm yeah so like his arm
was use it like a butt stock he tried to
like not great Street fire it like like
that basically yeah like over a trench
and uh yeah no that's not a good idea it
may be spooky season but you don't want
to scare people with your scraggly beard
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I saw American RPGs for the first time
and didn't know that was a thing wait
what apparently America makes RPGs yep
PS is the one I shot is it PS LR one
whatever yeah aonic makes them yeah what
America makes RPGs exclusively for
dropping off in
other America it's like Amer it came in
a dope ass case like that [ __ ] they
already use yeah just make more of that
painted army green send it over that
that's literally what your tax dollars at
at
work holy [ __ ] we actually do that well
I love I love uh the the differences in
between the Russian ones and ours
because it's so stupid it's so [ __ ]
stupid both work the problem is our ours
is literally a 100% clone it is a copy
like through and through just doesn't
have the Russian markings like it is a
100% clone like they'll know how to use
this literally yeah that's why we do it
and the ammo is everywhere but the uh we
we t78 and we added quad rails to
everything for no [ __ ] I saw yours
had quad rail and I was like why does it
have got to be modular I wanted to put
like little like red dots all over it
modular that's what's up eight red dots
on it
and you know like a
bipod I prefer the the ACOG on my RPG I
swear to God if you can just use the
word modular you will get a government
contract it doesn't matter what it is
I'm start growing square potatoes
modular [ __ ] potato the dod will buy
all of them I'm selling modular
techniques on how to defeat thermal
devices 100% guaranteed is that oh
that's wait when is coming out it's
coming out on Sunday on YouTube so if
this is coming out Saturday on YouTube
so it'll be it'll be live shortly
Hereafter oh we can't spoil it but it is
really good can we say at least the
topic we we we can talk about it a
little bit oh can we okay we have a
small audience Base Tens of people watch
it so we're
F multiplied by especially with these
guys on ill
tank oh no one's going to watch this
episode we haven't understood like do
you don't talk about Fight Club rule
here okay so the these guys are cool
probably so make sure you go on
comment on their video be like well
it'll be live on cter digital and then
it'll come out Sunday on CTO crew
YouTube Oh see we're good then boom Oh
yeah talk about dude oh this wait
know he used the shark hand dud the
shark hand came out he locked up with
fear he's like Jaws is coming at me
Predator you know Predator thermal
vision back in the day
and then Arnold like I'm throw some mud
on how do you think that fares in
today's technology and war is like nice
thermal yeah how do I think it fa how
much mud do you think you need in order
for ital I feel like just because you're
asking me it's like not much I
don't feel like I'm going to be
disappointed ton or it's a ton it's
either like 18 Ines or literally some
sun block one of the nowhere in between
he's right you're in fact totally right
and we discover that it is incredibly
small amount of mud that is necessary terrifying
terrifying
like we have in depth because it is like
we were like oh this is Jake was like
getting covered in the mud he's just a
pig he's just rolling around he's like
cover me we have Harley Mor just like
covering my mud man mud need a good mud
mud buddy mud buddy every mud man needs
a good mud buddy it works so they're
just putting him he's getting in Pace
and we look up and I'm like oh god what
the [ __ ] cuz Jake like rested by some
trees I was like
hey hey ever what the [ __ ] they look
when he's by the trees nothing you have
Finn who is a bright white dot like
recording a tree I walk over I'm like
hey um I don't want to ruin it cuz he
was like don't tell me I like but uh um
Nick come here he's like what is it I
was like you're [ __ ] working like
really [ __ ] good
like it was a little freaky cuz well as
soon as uh when he first started walking
out into the mud I could see where where
it was like splashing up on your your
legs like your pant legs and where it
was splashing was immediately
disappearing on thermal I'm like oh [ __ ]
this is going to work isn't it yeah and
this is today's you know some of the
best thermal devices that you can get
currently we had like four different
brands but it was all pretty nice [ __ ]
yeah 20 to $30,000 worth of thermals
looking for this dude he hit hide and
seek was the stupidest part that was so
fun though I'm so glad we got to do that
everyone with thermal on was just like
no we got to move to the next area and
Jake's like I literally at that point I
had learned to hide my eyes in my mouth
see he was bro to that [ __ ] chair he
was to that chair everyone decided like
no he's not here and kept walking yeah
and I was like CER CER you got turn
around like what the [ __ ] the dog that's
the only reason this is some [ __ ] like
the government's going to tell you to
take this down so we're going to we're
going to sell modular quadrail mud it's
going to be filled with mud and in an
emergency just break in case of
emergency and it'll
automatically putal quity mud it's mud
it's mud block but like with a little
cooling pack inside of it so it's super
cold your yeah dude's literally selling
bricks out of [ __ ]
Minecraft Minecraft bricks yeah there we
go and it'll attach to a quadrail on
your primary rifle and you just take
that around with you in case there's
thermals thread of thermals you just
this is going to be like new border
patrol issue like well why are all these
Mexicans covered in [ __ ] mud now this
is super
weird just hot mud backs goddamn mud
backs 20 years 20 years 20 years that's
the new name that's coming back it's
like oh no
Nick's like I can't say that joke but
yeah it was amazing it it was crazy
everyone's mind was blown of how easily
the tech Was Defeated and to learn
Predator act like Arnold was telling the
truth yeah which I thought was a total
lie and we've been doing this these
series of experiments on Corridor crew
and uh this was just the most recent one
and this one I think by far shocked me
the most it changed the video
drastically cuz he was thought is going
to have to be in this mud hut I bought I
system and about 20 thermal blankets
because I was prepared to cover myself
in thermal blankets with nothing but a
snorkel face on with a hand signal for
life to be covered in mud that would
have been really mean if we did that and
just covered you in mud you just have a
little snorkel and then just wave like
yeah that would have sucked and we tell
him he like oh it worked with the like
the small layer we just wanted to see
you get completely covered yeah that
would have been you maybe you should
have done that what's what's some other
military equipment that's just super
easily overcome by [ __ ] that's a
that's a real leading question there
Nick yeah nick uh what leading no I don't
don't
know asking fed alert I I I I do want to
come back to this uh RPG thing though
cuz that's shocking but that they oh
yeah no this is why I think the like the
military's rifle should be the Galil
that should be the US military's new
bold stat weapon yeah I don't
necessarily disagree I love it because
it's the per it's so for like that type
of situation it's the perfect weapon
yeah it runs in every way well so it's
it's an they're already familiar with
the the operating system and it's it's
in NATO ammo type well I'm saying
everybody's familiar with the operating
system cuz when you look at the Ace Gen
2 on the left side of the gun if you're
holding it it's AR controls there's a
thumb safety and then on the other side
it's AK controls and then it's got a
scar charging handle which is the best
out of AK or ar so it's like all three
aspects I like them I like a g no we're
gonna give it to I liked it more than
yeah jeez don't get me [ __ ] started
uh I I liked the Galil Ace way more than
I thought I would I kind of always
resented him for a while cuz it's just
like oh God you're taking something
added a bunch of rails to it and [ __ ]
like that and
iwi but then like I [ __ ] bought one
and I'm like oh first time I actually
like ran it ran it I'm like God damn it
okay this is this is nice I
don't nobody look at me don't don't
record me saying it it's nice does it
have a Million Parts like the AR nope an
on the inside liter AK yeah it's the
same bolt bolt carrier everything like
it's just an AK operating system here's
my question like how much money cuz like
what what's the Gil up for like 1,600
bucks I think something like that stock
like how much money would you have to
spend to get an AK of like comparable
quality to that like out of the box do
you want it depends on what you want to
do with it like what what what do you
mean by comparable quality I just mean
like I don't know much about pricing for
AKs I feel like the Galil is like like a
bone stock AK yeah like you're going to
have to spend a lot of money to get
something as no you about the same price
for a really good for a really good AK
yeah same thing yeah does it weigh a
th000 PBS like every AK ever man you
need to get some better AK we need to
hook you up Budd I'm down I just I even
went into monima and I was like hey is
there like a light AK you can make for
me and they were like well but I
understand the BB meaning
seven oh that's still pretty heavy like
6.9 lb something like that yeah it'll
get to you I'm saying if you take a scar
on like an elk hunt it'll probably get
to you I wouldn't know it gets it gets
to the elk more yeah
exactly one of one of us walked away
from the field of battle that day I just
love Tak he's like I need the scar 20s
for this hunt I I just thought it was
cool cuz was they they asked me if I
wanted a rifle there and I'm like n you
know what I'd rather use one of mine
just for Pride purposes whatever so I
put the uh EOTech uh one to 10 voodoo on
it like kind of tricked it out a bit and
then I was not informed um ahead of time
that I was going to be hiking five miles
a day roughly with it that was really
cool I actually did enjoy it it wasn't
it wasn't really that bad but it
definitely was heavier than I needed
yeah yeah your AK everything shoulder
shoulder mounted
Barrett Mount AAR of antlers up top and
just walk with it on your
shoulder it's an
elk go just explod the [ __ ] elk yeah
that's wasted some good meat there by
the way if anybody would like some elk I
have quite a lot done and done no when
you're actually for rifles in combat
you're just chances are unless you're
going like this you're just going to
have it the low ready yeah yeah on your
your mag holster you rest whatever you
can on it so it holds a a majority of
the weight and you just walk like this
yeah but it's still I mean and you go
like this and with the AK you cradle it
you just cradle it with the you do to I
you get real good at being lazy well in
combat you get super good at being as
lazy as possible I stripped my gun down
to like the minimum so I could I didn't
have to you're not being lazy you're
conserving energy to be more combat
effective no totally done I mean well
yeah and I mean as soon as you start
exerting yourself sprinting ducking
squatting covering I sure you don't
notice it when you're getting shot at
well yeah none of the tired goes in your
brain not one time was like I'm really
exhausted I wish it would stop you're
just like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]
[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] this is going to I'm
going to die today is probably that day
is Eli dice day oh my god do you want
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50% speaking of which we were talking
about earlier at lunch I have never
heard the story about how you got your
purple heart did have none of you no no
I don't know if you guys I've had the
pleasure of hearing it but it was many
years ago
okay this was Patrol two I want to say
it was two two okay yeah this is the
second mission hold first mission I
remember first mission like we pulled up
and it was like Tink Tink Tink Tink I
was like oh this is war like dismounted
into gunfire we took it and that was
like I was like oh [ __ ] okay this is
what we're signing up for got it so
mission two
I can tell you exactly there was a
[ __ ] school right here there was a
courtyard for the school we were pushing
down I don't know what road it was uh
this is in aaq right yeah America yeah
yeah Detroit so talking about gunfire in
school just immediately you're going to
have to be way more specific here
Eli so we had um it was a day Patrol and
we were dismounted we were actually
taking this is why we stopped taking
Strikers into um non-main msrs so like
Senators these roads aren't going to
mean anything but you have the main msrs
where you drive two bases or move uh
units and troops so we would just stick
on those after this because those little
city blocks that's where they plant all
the iads you are not overwatching
everything every single time so they're
digging up
holes they light tires up melt the
pavement dig it up build giant iids
plant giant IEDs so I can melt the
pavement back down never would know so
we're on our
Patrol peaceful so
far I'm on the right side um other teams
on the left and we have a striker right
next to me MGS Striker which is the 105
or the 125 tank Strikers this the first
we were the first ones with the MGs tank
Strikers in all of
Iraq we're run walking down inis is in
front of me and be's behind me guy pops
out with an AK and just fires I get down
on the knee and see he didn't think it
was too
heavy yeah he he popped around
complained really he's like God it's so
heavy and then he started shooting Eli's
first thought as soon as he saw that guy
pop around the corner like I bet his
arms are really tired
from you said it's
a Jake's like I hate all these guys
talking [ __ ] but I'm telling you man
it'll those will run you down I threw a
shark hand at it's CU I was a cross
country Runner so in tra like every
extra weight you have is a waste track
and combat exactly the same thing
running's involved I guess yeah
running's involved and there's medals um
exactly just like
combat practically I should probably be
telling the story yeah you you you take
over so homeboy pops
out I [ __ ] we return fire really
quick and I feel something hit me in the
leg round travel down the wall hit
[ __ ] hit me in the leg so immediately
I'm like to like [ __ ] I see blood and I
grab the back of my leg cuz I'm like I'm
going to bleed out my biggest fear just
bleeding out for whatever reason that
was always how I was like this is how I
die so I was like oh it's good it's good
we'll cond it before I even did that I
was backing up because I felt it BEAST's
like whoa cuz I was like I just got shot
so I'm backing up and shooting and inis is
is
here inis is pushed out a little I'm
next to him shooting uh right over him
and I start backing up with inis be is
like back up what you're about to get in
my fire boom [ __ ] just a loudest
explosion ever in his thought an IID
went off next to us I look over s cop is
driving the MGs Striker he's like you
guys are good did you just shoot that
man with the tank
tank yeah
yeah bro [ __ ] obliterate
that entire segment of the wall and that
dude were they shooting out of the tank
what kind of a 105 enough
enough
enough that was the very first a lifetime
supply some would
say and I uh that was I want to say the
very first MGS round ever fired in all of
of
Iraq next to me the dude that sh
all at once and his thought an IED went
off so you guys are just just completely
[ __ ] oh yeah cuz it was like the
camera is how close the tank round it
yeah it was over pressure it a lot of
over pressure so it's like Boop boom
just [ __ ] gone just everything gone
we pull back into there I'm like ah okay
okay I'm not bleeding out it just went
in and sto we're good everyone's like
you're good you're good they like quas
got shot BL BL where did you actually
get shot like right though right there
okay there you go nothing and um didn't
exit no it literally went in and stopped
I got super [ __ ] lucky Jesus Christ
winning stopped when I went like this
bullet got knocked out wow yeah what the
[ __ ] I just it was a Ricochet oh yeah
that's right yeah yeah yeah right the
world's biggest bruise the next day
though it wrapped around my whole
[ __ ] leg but uh well you you got shot
yeah and I went to the wrong a station
that I'll add that to the story so
homeboy [ __ ] gone we exed I remember
like everyone's like you got shot got
shot walked around the corner Smith
there and they're like oh okay uh you're
good I was like yeah and then my friends
are like huh free license plates huh
that's all naturally we're worried about
we go in we push right take an
RPG uh that one actually exploded uh
pushed around we had like that was that
turned into an 8 hour 10 hour gunfight
that day that was we lost two dudes
[ __ ] one two three four five purple
hearts that day Jesus Jes mission two
second mission bro that's when all of us
were like [ __ ] so I get back go to the
wrong aid station so I didn't even get a
day off the next day D like CU we just
lost two dudes chist imagine that's the
most government thing I've ever heard in
my [ __ ] life getting shot get shot
and getting you went to the wrong doctor
stupid go back to
work dude cuz it was going back and I
remember we got back um we lost godier
shout out to godier and ham so both of
those uh that was first platoon and
third platoon and um we cycled back we
got on base I went to the other a
because all this is going just with my
company so I go to I think like Charlie
or Alpha Company to their doctor real
quick I was like well just go see their
nurse if they can bandage me up real
quick and they're like what are you
doing here I'm like well I uh I they're
like why is your uniform all [ __ ] up
why aren't you using your own medic I
was like well I got shot in a mission
they're like oh my God we're so
sorry the Swit like oh [ __ ] no yeah hey
hey come here we're so sorry uh actually
go to like the the doctor dog let's take
you to the hospital so I walked to the
hospital why is your uniform all [ __ ]
up the bullet mostly so naturally it's
like go to the the hospital so I was
like okay let's go to the chow hall
first cuz I'm not bleeding out so we ate
Chow because I haven't had hot Chow in a
while we then go to the hospital sit
down they [ __ ] cut my pants over do
and I didn't go to my unit's aid station
so I had no paperwork other than I just
so next day we don't even get a day off
I remember our first AR was like hey we
just it's this is going to happen This
Is War we just lost people like people
got injured we're going to have it's
going to be an off day on Tempo one hour
later hey we have a mission sorry that
was a lie you guys have to clear this
house and I remember it was like all of
us are now on edge we are just like [ __ ]
so they're like third platoon go [ __ ]
clear this house walking up and I'm like
God damn it I'm like leading the file
and then we didn't know I I want to say
first Squad was always there and we were
about to round the corner of the front
of this house and then we hear a [ __ ]
machine gun go off and I'm like I just
duck back I'm like God damn it why and
we look and then uh Sant Tetra walks
around he's like sorry I was opening the
door it was locked so we used the S I
was like you [ __ ] heads we oh my God I
thought I just got ambushed again I love that
that
the door was locked so I used the
saw mean whatever
works we tried opening doors with
203s good luck anybody behind that door
I'm more impressed that it was a try oh
it open sorry no you
opened we tried with 203 those didn't
work but yeah that was that was the that
was the without proper paperwork from
the uh medical uh how did did you
actually get the Purple Heart the
paperwork was submitted everything like
that but I don't you don't get a um what
are they uh sick hul passes a profile
yeah a profile like Kadoka when Kadoka
got hit in the head and the helmet
stopped it like he set up he's like what
the [ __ ] he's like I got shot in the
head bullet rode the ridge out popped
back out and he went to the proper R
station had a few days off I was like
you piece of [ __ ] I was like oh I didn't
get that well you still don't have to
pay price property taxes you got that
going for you that was pretty nice the
one thing I like about it but yeah oh
yeah when we tried to open doors with
203 that was the step like we were I
don't know stand off distance or we
thought we were standoff
distance so we were like go it just hit
the wall or hit the door and fell we
like [ __ ] let's go back a little further
and try
again well let's go to the next
house just good luck handling those
grenades on the ground
oh they're fine go play catch I don't
know yeah put it on the fbcb2 we'll just
mark it and we'll move on Mission
success mission accomplished whatever
you do kids just don't rotate it 30
times throw it at the wall Go
De go
deep perfect NFL spiral oh my
God he's going to be a quarter oh my god
well the running back's
gone yes the funny part is that would
never not be recorded as a war crime
even though you guys didn't do it it's
like oh yeah I'm sure the kid just threw
a 203 Grenade at the other
kid well oh that was yeah it's an actual
story of what what played out on that
day like uhoh yeah sure I'm sure his
buddy grenaded him yeah sure sure mahed
there war it's
fantastic did you see that
oh no no there was like one news article
came out a couple years ago where like
somebody's grandpa has been just that
he's had this Mallet for opening
wallnuts like as long as this dude could
remember just oh it's Grandpa's [ __ ]
Walnut Mallet it was a [ __ ] German
stick grenade from World War II and it
was live the whole time just just open
wal with it on a
rock dude that generation was iow built
different wait it was just a dude yeah
is all potato masher y that was like
that uh did you see the um it was like a
museum for I don't know if it was World
War II vets hanging out it was like
people in the wheelchair did you see
that which one it a World War II vet it
was just a video of like hey there's
this Museum and World War II vets are
hanging out and they're like all in
wheelchairs but the camera stops it it
cuts to like a dude's reaction cuz one
of those Old World War II vets he's like
Wheeling around by himself and he's
carrying a [ __ ] tank mine
and the camera stops and like why the
[ __ ] does this dude just carry an anti-t
mine on he's just this Old World War II
vet it's like his security blanket just
Wheeling around in his wheelchair
carried it with me everywhere since 43
wasn't live I hope not I don't knowbe oh
my god well why would you carry around a
non-live anti-tank mine maybe he's like
is his comfort blanket because he dug so
many up he was like look that's what
we're think I mean homeboy [ __ ] using
a potato masher to open walnuts dude
that's [ __ ] insane who wants better
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okay Nick your video okay which one the
one you I can't it's got to be uploaded
this week I can't tell it if this is if
the podcast going up this week is this
one going up this week yeah oh [ __ ] I
can't tell it yet why cuz it's my
video's going up might get for the unsub
podcast Nick now it's your turn do we
get a teaser God damn it teas I just
want to know a little bit all right I'll
tell you what give me I'm give I'm going
to give you the two titles that I'm
working with and you guys can tell me
which title is the best you're all
YouTube people right so title number one
America's Original Gangster or America's
first gangster or old man tells the
British Empire to get off his lawn yes
that one that one okay good and then you
have a picture of Clint Eastwood get get
off my lawn Clint Eastwood with like the
queen well she's passed but you know
something representing the British I
stand by at the queen yeah it's pretty
red get off my or you have like three
three Red Coats running
away that's actually pretty good Clint
Ewood with your face you're photoshopped
on it it's already in the video multiple
times that line that cut of Clint it's
in the video like four times damn it and
you can't tell give me a time frame on
this uh April ail 19th 1775 yes nice
okay all
right I have no idea well
um old guy grizzled veteran I'm not
going to tell you the whole story dude's
a complete gangster fren Indian War
veteran or King George King George War
prior to the French Indian War oh wow
okay so basically the first version of
the French Indian War yep veteran at
48 French and Indian War veteran at
58 Pontiac Rebellion veteran at
68 78 the American
Revolution [ __ ] Paul
Riv okay this dude lived in Arlington
Massachusetts okay Boston like one if my
land to If by see Paul River takes off
yeah it's [ __ ] Boston Arlington Lexington
Lexington
Concord the first battle is Lexington
and Concord [ __ ] Paul River showed up at
homeboy's house in the middle of the
night like the British are coming and
when the British showed up he told him
to get off his [ __ ]
lawn just 78-year-old grizzled veteran
two dueling Pistols that he acquired
during the Pontiac Rebellion because the
suddenly goes out in his front yard as
700 British soldiers are retreating back
to Boston and just confronts
them takes out three British dudes oh my
god wow 78 years old I thought wait I
thought Lexington conqueror was 74 it
was 75 75 okay yeah and then the war was
like Revolution was officially declared
in 1776
right wow which is when history began
yeah so then uh so then he
also that
day it's the uh what's his name Ron
Swanson quote like history began in 1776
everything before that was a mistake besides
besides
so he also had a uh like this super Gody
French officer sword that previous owner
died suddenly yeah so he goes out in his
front yard musket two pistol just
shooting people like he died suddenly
mus musket Two Pistols French Officer
sword shoots with the musket kills kills
a British guy whips out the two pistols
kills two more pulls out the sword and
charges at 78 years old they shoot him
in the face of me okay yeah with a
musket drops it did they stop to like to
form up I don't know he just got shot in
the face falls down suddenly goes to get
back up didn't die suddenly they charge
him they stab him with a Bayonet 13
times and then they hit him in the head
with a butt St and leave him dead they
take off retreating back to Boston cuz
all the other minute men are like
shooting from like the Woodline and [ __ ]
he's just like yeah [ __ ] you in his
front yard so four hours later his
corpse starts moving and the town runs
up there oh [ __ ] he was just unconscious
from getting hit in the head with the
buttstock of the rifle right and he he
wakes up thinking they're still around
and starts loading his [ __ ] guns
again so they take him to the hospital
and the doctor they get his family they
take him to the doctor and the doctor is
like dude's 78 years old in the
1700s life expect was like 28 no it was
60 but [ __ ] like being 108 now yeah
it's like yeah it's like 100 in colonial
years like dude wasn't ready to fall off
of two steps let alone get [ __ ]
bayonetted 13 times and shot in the face
so that happens he takes it to the
doctor the doctor is like he's [ __ ]
like I'm not get him off my table he's
dead he's gonna die just get him out
well guess how many living descendants
this dude has at this point in time
living direct descendants from him at
this point in time my God like right now
no no at this point in time he's at the
doctor 20 no no not even [ __ ] close
185 direct descendants between his kids
he has five generations beneath him at
this point in time you it's Colonial he
beening since he was 15 just having kids
the entire time yeah you had kids not
out of like out of necessity to carry on
your jeans plus he's literally a minute man
man
oh proud of that joke he's like
a minut man I I see what you did man
anyways so the doctor's like well I
can't tell 185 grandkids [ __ ] you
Grandpa's dead so he's like he does what
he can Banes him up sends him home with
the family to die right dude passes away February
February
3rd lived another year 1793 or some [ __ ]
dude lived for 18 more years oh my God
bro Grandpa's a [ __ ] hard
ass how do you how do you find these sto
I don't know it's job did people send
them to you or kind people are like I
kind of heard this one thing about this
one guy and then I got to figure out
what all is actually true and what's not
you find yourself on genealogy.com like
was there for that one that's how I
found out he had 185 living descendants
how long does it take you to like
produce uh you know the research for an
episode like that uh it kind of just
depends on the topic um a lot of the
time I'm lucky and all the work's done
and it's just like all the work was done by
by
historians that have no sense of humor
and don't understand the military right
so like military history is all taught
from the perspective of the commanding
officer that wrote the documents and
that's all the historians look at right
it's like that's not what [ __ ]
happened I promise you that's not what
happened let's Deep dive so then you get
to that's the version of the story that
sounded good to that guy's boss right
exactly so like yeah so I don't know I
kind of like read between the lines
actually listen to what the dudes said
compared to what the officers say yeah
how hard is it for like from 1776 cuz
those are those like I know doing
research even in the like Western Wild
West period was for doing this this dude
was born in Charlestown Massachusetts in
1696 and then he goes dark until he was
until 1721 he's like Jesus he shows up
what happened to him exactly between the
time he taught the elders as a boy
between the time he comes back what
happened to well they they wrote a
couple books about that guy a couple a
big one actually was pretty best yeah
best seller he got shot in stabbed a few
times too kind of he did get stabbed few was
was
right so he just disappeared and then I
mean he just goes dark like there's no
historical record like he was born
nothing happens and then the next time
he shows up in historical records was
when he got married to his wife in 1721
and then from there the only time he
pops up is um when when he's a dad on a
[ __ ] birth certificate which is a lot
dude is just plowing or fighting Wars
that's it he's replacing all the life
he's taking props his wife or he's
killing people all he do whole wife uh
he had two but most of his kids were
from his first wife his first wife
passed away like later in life um how
many kids
do I think 80 years ago I think he had
10 kids with the first one but he did it
when he was like you know 30 he had 10
kids and it's like those T he had five
generations beneath him so I great great
great grandkids it's like
dud running like OG pyramid screams John
Cougar melon Camp was like a grandfather
at 36 or some [ __ ] like that really yeah
wow no [ __ ] if you're dedicated you can
still do the even my dad even my dad's
dad uh had his first his first wife died
in childb birth my uncle's his half
brother and that was only in
1938 yeah that that didn't change for a
has a recent event of like hey we can
actually do something wife starts
bleeding suddenly on the operating table
the most part it was just [ __ ] now
yes can I say that on this need of
course you can okay cuz man yes that's
the line [ __ ] is the line it's we've
said it once or twice you know I mean
for sure I mean like not built like they
used to now [ __ ] triangular bayonets
are a war crime homie took 13 of them
and walked it off back in my [ __ ] day
dude how do you get stabbed 13 times
like I had a buddy I had a buddy in the
101st and uh he was at some event and he
was talking with a guy that was on iima
and and he was like so tell me what was
it like to strangle an Iraqi we
strangled a bunch of Japs on iima and I
was like and he was like um well sir we
uh we attacked them from a distance he
Gallagher I mean allegedly allegedly
allegedly allegedly until until he was about to go to jail for like was like
about to go to jail for like was like hold on hold on that was a gangster
hold on hold on that was a gangster story too yeah that so gangster I I [ __ ]
story too yeah that so gangster I I [ __ ] it I remember reading it the first time
it I remember reading it the first time I was like this sounds like horeshit
I was like this sounds like horeshit because a sniper and they're messing
because a sniper and they're messing with his Optics to stop him from doing
with his Optics to stop him from doing it I was like day two of your Optics
it I was like day two of your Optics getting [ __ ] would you be like which
getting [ __ ] would you be like which one you [ __ ] is [ __ ] with my glass
one you [ __ ] is [ __ ] with my glass did you see what happened with Eddie
did you see what happened with Eddie Gallagher's on how that whole team got
Gallagher's on how that whole team got what the lawyers did only what I watched
what the lawyers did only what I watched a podcast where he went into intricate
a podcast where he went into intricate detail on it about how he how he got off
detail on it about how he how he got off well the lawyer [ __ ] sent the the
well the lawyer [ __ ] sent the the Trojan to track emails of the that's
Trojan to track emails of the that's what happened it was the opposing
what happened it was the opposing Council I didn't hear that you didn't
Council I didn't hear that you didn't know this oh Prosecuting the prosecuting
know this oh Prosecuting the prosecuting they sent a [ __ ] they sent a key a it
they sent a [ __ ] they sent a key a it was yeah it was a trojan horse from a
was yeah it was a trojan horse from a DOD email email address to another DOD
DOD email email address to another DOD email address so they could copy
email address so they could copy everything and see if they could get
everything and see if they could get anything so when that's so illegal oh oh
anything so when that's so illegal oh oh yeah cuz that's how they got off real
yeah cuz that's how they got off real quick cuz they brought it in they're
quick cuz they brought it in they're like hey what the [ __ ] is this you
like hey what the [ __ ] is this you didn't know this no I didn't know that
didn't know this no I didn't know that yeah bro they brought it to like the
yeah bro they brought it to like the other it and they're like yeah no they
other it and they're like yeah no they traced it back to Prosecuting Council
traced it back to Prosecuting Council and they're like yeah no this is where
and they're like yeah no this is where it came from and that's why it fell
it came from and that's why it fell apart did you know that yeah well I that
apart did you know that yeah well I that reminds me of a different story very I
reminds me of a different story very I don't know why I'm surprised like I
don't know why I'm surprised like I don't know why I'm surprised I just
don't know why I'm surprised I just still sometimes I'm still surprised oh
still sometimes I'm still surprised oh Navy hated him there was one uh there
Navy hated him there was one uh there was one recently it was a recent Scandal
was one recently it was a recent Scandal like last couple months I think uh where
like last couple months I think uh where they found out because of a spelling
they found out because of a spelling error uh the dod had been sending
error uh the dod had been sending shitloads of top secret information to a
shitloads of top secret information to a third world
third world country because of the email address it
country because of the email address it was something like accounts or whatever
was something like accounts or whatever at
at like do Mill right and instead they were
like do Mill right and instead they were like M MLL or something like that and it
like M MLL or something like that and it was just going directly to the [ __ ]
was just going directly to the [ __ ] like the government of some third world
like the government of some third world country I don't remember which one it
country I don't remember which one it was but it was M Asia isn't that how
was but it was M Asia isn't that how that works it might have been something
that works it might have been something like that yeah Mur stands some guys just
like that yeah Mur stands some guys just being awarded everything it's like I
being awarded everything it's like I think it was some African country
think it was some African country greatest Intel officer we've ever had
greatest Intel officer we've ever had he's just getting like award they're
he's just getting like award they're like how do you do it he's like years of
like how do you do it he's like years of operating
operating you got
you got mail another one came in just handing it
mail another one came in just handing it off it's just printing him out like how
off it's just printing him out like how did he do this I instead of Mill I did
did he do this I instead of Mill I did do capital i l or whatever it is they
do capital i l or whatever it is they just get a knock on the door why does
just get a knock on the door why does Malaysia have Abram's
Malaysia have Abram's blueprints oh my god dude I'm still
blueprints oh my god dude I'm still surprised you didn't know about the
surprised you didn't know about the whole you have to read about the
whole you have to read about the prosecuting no I I mean yeah I I know
prosecuting no I I mean yeah I I know the the the general details but I don't
the the the general details but I don't I don't know those Navy hated him so
I don't know those Navy hated him so that was like they were mission to get a
that was like they were mission to get a Navy SEAL they were like we have to
Navy SEAL they were like we have to [ __ ] crucify this dude crucify him
[ __ ] crucify this dude crucify him and then all that and that then the
and then all that and that then the Trojan hores got leaked they like hey uh
Trojan hores got leaked they like hey uh they walked I remember like they just
they walked I remember like they just brought it in they're like hey what's
brought it in they're like hey what's this they're
this they're like right and that dude didn't get in
like right and that dude didn't get in trouble which is the most [ __ ] upart I
trouble which is the most [ __ ] upart I didn't know I couldn't do that that's
didn't know I couldn't do that that's that's what I mean there's really that's
that's what I mean there's really that's how I got off probably
how I got off probably yeah probably did not get in trouble
yeah probably did not get in trouble right yeah the military is a whole
right yeah the military is a whole another ball game it's this it's this
another ball game it's this it's this it's this like the
it's this like the accountability doesn't necessarily apply
accountability doesn't necessarily apply unless you're you know some particular
unless you're you know some particular person in the in the circumstances it's
person in the in the circumstances it's and that's why people get so pissed
and that's why people get so pissed because it's like we're like well mine
because it's like we're like well mine is it's War like War like [ __ ] happens
is it's War like War like [ __ ] happens of War people expect it to be like this
of War people expect it to be like this oh and we still like for the most part
oh and we still like for the most part Americans getting shot like some of the
Americans getting shot like some of the Roes we were at was like hey you can't
Roes we were at was like hey you can't shoot unless they're pointing their Gun
shoot unless they're pointing their Gun and shooting at you they can have guns
and shooting at you they can have guns you can't do put it the best he said war
you can't do put it the best he said war is the most unpolitically correct thing
is the most unpolitically correct thing you can do to somebody else and I was
you can do to somebody else and I was like that that's it you nailed it yeah
like that that's it you nailed it yeah there's kind of a solid agreement hey
there's kind of a solid agreement hey we're uh we're going to invade your
we're uh we're going to invade your country and kill anybody who tries to
country and kill anybody who tries to stop us right but you compare that to
stop us right but you compare that to like man reading on the Civil War I was
like man reading on the Civil War I was like what are the BL like bloodiest
like what are the BL like bloodiest battles in America and then you see our
battles in America and then you see our death hols during the Civil War I like
death hols during the Civil War I like Jesus was like 30,000 one day the Civil
Jesus was like 30,000 one day the Civil War I'm going to get on a little history
War I'm going to get on a little history here I'm about I'm all about the Civil
here I'm about I'm all about the Civil War the best bragging Point ever who's
War the best bragging Point ever who's killed the most Americans Americans yeah
killed the most Americans Americans yeah we're the best at
we're the best at it that's what we did to ourselves and
it that's what we did to ourselves and that's what we're going to [ __ ] do to
that's what we're going to [ __ ] do to you that was the precursor that was the
you that was the precursor that was the precursor to the techniques not
precursor to the techniques not techniques the tactics used in World War
techniques the tactics used in World War won I mean Robert El invented the the
won I mean Robert El invented the the trench system out when he when he had
trench system out when he when he had when he had to defend Petersburg and
when he had to defend Petersburg and Richmond and he had a line 60 Mi long
Richmond and he had a line 60 Mi long and it was spread apart there was one
and it was spread apart there was one soldier 3 MERS apart from Petersburg to
soldier 3 MERS apart from Petersburg to Richmond it's like how do we defend this
Richmond it's like how do we defend this oh well let's just dig a hole in the
oh well let's just dig a hole in the ground and have people that was the
ground and have people that was the first time anybody did that that in
first time anybody did that that in Fredericksburg with the the brick wall
Fredericksburg with the the brick wall the stone wall yeah cuz they they
the stone wall yeah cuz they they cleaned house I think it was like the
cleaned house I think it was like the death toll there cuz they had to assault
death toll there cuz they had to assault a hill right where we uh the like
a hill right where we uh the like General like Robert E Lee and I get who
General like Robert E Lee and I get who was also there at the time but they had
was also there at the time but they had uh artillery already set up they had all
uh artillery already set up they had all their dudes behind like a literal Stone
their dudes behind like a literal Stone [ __ ] wall and have a clear shot of an
[ __ ] wall and have a clear shot of an open field where they're having to cross
open field where they're having to cross a river and then that was the river too
a river and then that was the river too yeah they were trying to get across a
yeah they were trying to get across a river and then into the town the death
river and then into the town the death the death toll for the uh the
the death toll for the uh the Confederates was like 3,000 and I think
Confederates was like 3,000 and I think for the union it was like 12,000 it was
for the union it was like 12,000 it was yeah yeah
yeah yeah yep I can't wait to do a ulyses S Grant
yep I can't wait to do a ulyses S Grant video oh dude the butcher Grant the
video oh dude the butcher Grant the butcher wait his nickname was the
butcher wait his nickname was the butcher yes you didn't he's a complete
butcher yes you didn't he's a complete anti-hero yeah okay let's go I I don't I
anti-hero yeah okay let's go I I don't I I I haven't done all the work yet like I
I I haven't done all the work yet like I haven't done the research but like my
haven't done the research but like my understanding is he was like a complete
understanding is he was like a complete [ __ ] up and Officer school like he was
[ __ ] up and Officer school like he was really good but also a complete like
really good but also a complete like that typical anti-hero of like I'm super
that typical anti-hero of like I'm super talented I'm just not going to [ __ ]
talented I'm just not going to [ __ ] listen or do the right thing and he like
listen or do the right thing and he like washes out and goes and starts working
washes out and goes and starts working in his Rich father's leather Tannery for
in his Rich father's leather Tannery for like a bunch of years and Abraham
like a bunch of years and Abraham Lincoln is like I need somebody that can
Lincoln is like I need somebody that can [ __ ] win a war and they go and get
[ __ ] win a war and they go and get this dude out of a leather factory he
this dude out of a leather factory he was in some leather factory ass so he
was in some leather factory ass so he cut his teeth on Vicksburg cuz Vicksburg
cut his teeth on Vicksburg cuz Vicksburg was this very weird position in the
was this very weird position in the South it's it's on the it's on the
South it's it's on the it's on the Mississippi and you can't really get to
Mississippi and you can't really get to it at at that time you couldn't I don't
it at at that time you couldn't I don't know if you've ever been to that part of
know if you've ever been to that part of Mississippi huge I love going there well
Mississippi huge I love going there well no but like there's the Mississippi
no but like there's the Mississippi River gets gets bigger and wider and the
River gets gets bigger and wider and the the swamps around it get more intense
the swamps around it get more intense the further south you go and so they
the further south you go and so they were trying to get to Vicksburg so that
were trying to get to Vicksburg so that they could split the Confederacy in half
they could split the Confederacy in half and the whole they spent like 18 months
and the whole they spent like 18 months trying to take this town like they came
trying to take this town like they came at it from Every Which angle they had
at it from Every Which angle they had like flotillas that would go through the
like flotillas that would go through the swamps they tried to do they tried to
swamps they tried to do they tried to build Bridges they tried tried to do
build Bridges they tried tried to do everything in their power and event
everything in their power and event nobody could do it and then eventually
nobody could do it and then eventually Grant did it and then they're like yeah
Grant did it and then they're like yeah you hey you you're the guy yeah I I know
you hey you you're the guy yeah I I know like there's rumors about you being a
like there's rumors about you being a drunk or whatever and like not you know
drunk or whatever and like not you know not having any ambition or whatever I
not having any ambition or whatever I don't know just come to Washington
don't know just come to Washington drunks get [ __ ] done and he and he shows
drunks get [ __ ] done and he and he shows up in Washington in like his oversized
up in Washington in like his oversized dirty duster and there was a hotel that
dirty duster and there was a hotel that all the people would show up at and he
all the people would show up at and he showed up at this hotel in like this
showed up at this hotel in like this duster and nobody even recognized him
duster and nobody even recognized him until he wrote his name on the like
until he wrote his name on the like signin sheet and then uh everyone
signin sheet and then uh everyone realized it was like the ulyses srant
realized it was like the ulyses srant and then I mean look he did what he had
and then I mean look he did what he had to do one of his techniques though was
to do one of his techniques though was just simply well you know those guys
just simply well you know those guys that like mlen and all the guys who came
that like mlen and all the guys who came after him weren't using who are
after him weren't using who are perfectly trained and there's like
perfectly trained and there's like 150,000 of them defending DC yeah bring
150,000 of them defending DC yeah bring him down bring him down and and
him down bring him down and and basically that's what he did he just got
basically that's what he did he just got the veteran soldiers and he was like hey
the veteran soldiers and he was like hey these guys
these guys visioned and trained and organized that
visioned and trained and organized that like he knew at that point it was
like he knew at that point it was getting late in the war the South
getting late in the war the South couldn't resupply men and they had these
couldn't resupply men and they had these you know conscription armies that were
you know conscription armies that were running around the South like basically
running around the South like basically if you were any military aged male and
if you were any military aged male and you weren't fighting they would
you weren't fighting they would literally take you and and conscript you
literally take you and and conscript you and make you fight um and and so they
and make you fight um and and so they didn't have any men and Grant knew that
didn't have any men and Grant knew that and so he became his nickname at least
and so he became his nickname at least from the southern perspective became the
from the southern perspective became the grant the butcher because he would just
grant the butcher because he would just send people at it until it was over
send people at it until it was over that's basically what happened he was
that's basically what happened he was one of the only generals who actually
one of the only generals who actually had balls from the union cuz there was
had balls from the union cuz there was like uh mlen and like Burnside and just
like uh mlen and like Burnside and just a bunch of these other General that just
a bunch of these other General that just sucked they were like hooker what the S
sucked they were like hooker what the S the South which where hooker come from
the South which where hooker come from by the way yeah General hooker yeah wait
by the way yeah General hooker yeah wait for real yeah cuz he was a he was a big
for real yeah cuz he was a he was a big prostitute fan he said yeah yeah eat
prostitute fan he said yeah yeah eat drink and be married for tomorrow we die
drink and be married for tomorrow we die that whole thing like he was like no I
that whole thing like he was like no I don't know that we're going to bring in
don't know that we're going to bring in a bunch we're going to bring it a bunch
a bunch we're going to bring it a bunch we're going to bring in a bunch of and
we're going to bring in a bunch of and then the guys will like have a good time
then the guys will like have a good time before they go to battle the next day
before they go to battle the next day fun fact after Grant took a bunch of
fun fact after Grant took a bunch of soldiers from defending DC you know who
soldiers from defending DC you know who summoned an army from his State and took
summoned an army from his State and took it to DC to defend the white house for a
it to DC to defend the white house for a minute a militia Cash's clay Cash's yeah
minute a militia Cash's clay Cash's yeah did he he he was back from Russia at
did he he he was back from Russia at this point and he uh he like got a
this point and he uh he like got a Kentucky militia and marched him up to
Kentucky militia and marched him up to the White House
the White House to randomly Forest gums in and out of
to randomly Forest gums in and out of History dude it's
History dude it's amazing it's amazing so
amazing it's amazing so good you did a whole episode on yeah
good you did a whole episode on yeah dude I got this is so many just card
dude I got this is so many just card badass yeah I could not picture that in
badass yeah I could not picture that in this day like [ __ ] everything goes to
this day like [ __ ] everything goes to [ __ ] and it's like they'd be like come
[ __ ] and it's like they'd be like come on guys let's go defend the White House
on guys let's go defend the White House like oh man I got really mad after a
like oh man I got really mad after a comment about like a tank similar to the
comment about like a tank similar to the F16 one but it was like well what's it
F16 one but it was like well what's it going to do against an Abrams tank and
going to do against an Abrams tank and it's like okay I mean just off the top
it's like okay I mean just off the top of my head I think America's got like
of my head I think America's got like 7500 8500 is Abrams Tanks we're let's go
7500 8500 is Abrams Tanks we're let's go to magical fairy tale land where they're
to magical fairy tale land where they're all working they're not but let's just
all working they're not but let's just say they were magical fairy tale magical
say they were magical fairy tale magical fairy tale land again they don't need
fairy tale land again they don't need fuel they just run on Magic yeah they
fuel they just run on Magic yeah they don't need maintenance nothing ever
don't need maintenance nothing ever breaks the crew is robots they don't
breaks the crew is robots they don't need food or supplies or a break or to
need food or supplies or a break or to go to the bathroom thank God America is
go to the bathroom thank God America is small magical okay completely magical if
small magical okay completely magical if that was the case I did the math you
that was the case I did the math you would have one Abrams tank to cover 750
would have one Abrams tank to cover 750 square
square miles to cover America it's like even
miles to cover America it's like even with magic on your side it's [ __ ] how
with magic on your side it's [ __ ] how many Backes in 750 square miles I mean
many Backes in 750 square miles I mean there's literally a ranch in Texas
there's literally a ranch in Texas that's bigger than the state of Rhode
that's bigger than the state of Rhode Island yeah it's [ __ ] ridiculous wait
Island yeah it's [ __ ] ridiculous wait okay I want to know more about this
okay I want to know more about this private warships yeah yeah no it's
private warships yeah yeah no it's totally it in England too in uh like
totally it in England too in uh like just think about like private
just think about like private privateering was a big thing yeah
privateering was a big thing yeah privateering Dunkirk when all the guys
privateering Dunkirk when all the guys were oh [ __ ] were stuck there they were
were oh [ __ ] were stuck there they were like hey Englishmen whoever owns boat
like hey Englishmen whoever owns boat literally anybody with a boat
literally anybody with a boat [ __ ] with boats come get the
[ __ ] with boats come get the British soldiers A rad story Douglas B's
British soldiers A rad story Douglas B's up in the air fighting Germans yeah know
up in the air fighting Germans yeah know like early 1800s all that [ __ ] like dude
like early 1800s all that [ __ ] like dude they were like privately owned warships
they were like privately owned warships like ah [ __ ] there was also one um it's
like ah [ __ ] there was also one um it's privateering yeah yeah you're basically
privateering yeah yeah you're basically a pirate but you do it with a legal
a pirate but you do it with a legal permission from a particular country and
permission from a particular country and so the basically they say you can attack
so the basically they say you can attack anybody in the SE basically you you can
anybody in the SE basically you you can attack anybody as long as it's not us
attack anybody as long as it's not us yeah so pmc's well I mean that's how
yeah so pmc's well I mean that's how like pirate hunting and [ __ ] work too
like pirate hunting and [ __ ] work too we're like that's what some like what
we're like that's what some like what some countries deemed Pirates were like
some countries deemed Pirates were like oh they just like got the thumbs up from
oh they just like got the thumbs up from the British from the East India Trading
the British from the East India Trading Company to go [ __ ] up whatever elel
Company to go [ __ ] up whatever elel that's that's a yeah it's a pirate
that's that's a yeah it's a pirate that's why America doesn't use a goddamn
that's why America doesn't use a goddamn metric system [ __ ] Pirates imagine
metric system [ __ ] Pirates imagine getting a imagine getting a privateering
getting a imagine getting a privateering contract from the British East India
contract from the British East India Trading Company not even from the
Trading Company not even from the British government but like the trading
British government but like the trading comp from them they're like look they
comp from them they're like look they control the sea and all the trade in it
control the sea and all the trade in it I mean yeah you have our permission it's
I mean yeah you have our permission it's fine just go out there and like disturb
fine just go out there and like disturb a couple of Frenchmen it's fine and then
a couple of Frenchmen it's fine and then the Buccaneers were known like the term
the Buccaneers were known like the term Buccaneer comes from the French Sailors
Buccaneer comes from the French Sailors who used to no Tom Brady no yep that's
who used to no Tom Brady no yep that's the one they used to they used to
the one they used to they used to barbecue on their ships and so the
barbecue on their ships and so the Buccaneers that's what it refers
Buccaneers that's what it refers to are you going to have to lay that one
to are you going to have to lay that one out a little
out a little bit barbecue Buccaneer means like
bit barbecue Buccaneer means like barbecuer oh okay yeah I wait does that
barbecuer oh okay yeah I wait does that yeah I don't know that one don't look at
yeah I don't know that one don't look at me for we did a whole we did a whole we
me for we did a whole we did a whole we did a whole short film on Like Pirates
did a whole short film on Like Pirates yeah I remember the Blackbeard yeah and
yeah I remember the Blackbeard yeah and we we did a bunch of pirate research and
we we did a bunch of pirate research and that's yeah Assassin's Creed 4 that was
that's yeah Assassin's Creed 4 that was years ago it was years ago that was a
years ago it was years ago that was a [ __ ] we had the worst extra on that
[ __ ] we had the worst extra on that set oh no he was a stunt man he wasn't
set oh no he was a stunt man he wasn't an extra he was a stunt man but we had
an extra he was a stunt man but we had these squibs okay and you know squibs
these squibs okay and you know squibs like when they go off they can hurt what
like when they go off they can hurt what a squib is is anytime you see blood like
a squib is is anytime you see blood like they don't do them anymore if you get
they don't do them anymore if you get shot in the old movies and then out
shot in the old movies and then out Tarantino did them in Django and Shan I
Tarantino did them in Django and Shan I still think they look good oh they
still think they look good oh they they're my favorite things I think they
they're my favorite things I think they [ __ ] and so we had we were going to
[ __ ] and so we had we were going to do one of these and the guy was we had
do one of these and the guy was we had these cool black powder pistols and you
these cool black powder pistols and you know we could light them off because
know we could light them off because they're black powder um and so it's
they're black powder um and so it's really cool we got so could you
really cool we got so could you electrically time the pistol to the
electrically time the pistol to the squib no but we you know with a little
squib no but we you know with a little bit of knoow we just kind of cut it
bit of knoow we just kind of cut it timed it put a real bullet in there and
timed it put a real bullet in there and so we had this one guy like we're like
so we had this one guy like we're like okay you're going to get shot you're
okay you're going to get shot you're going to be in a chair and you're going
going to be in a chair and you're going to pull up your gun to Fire and then
to pull up your gun to Fire and then you're going to get shot and you're
you're going to get shot and you're going to go flying back in your chair
going to go flying back in your chair and so this guy he was so worried about
and so this guy he was so worried about being squibbed like he he pulled his gun
being squibbed like he he pulled his gun up the first take and he get shot and
up the first take and he get shot and and he and he just kind of like
and he and he just kind of like emotionlessly collapses on and and he he
emotionlessly collapses on and and he he did one of
did one of these and we're like um okay we're going
these and we're like um okay we're going to reset that and go for take two we're
to reset that and go for take two we're going to ask you to act this time 20
going to ask you to act this time 20 minutes later we're like okay whoa calm
minutes later we're like okay whoa calm down over there they stman not actors
down over there they stman not actors and then he did it he did it again and
and then he did it he did it again and then we had to move on because it was
then we had to move on because it was just like the worst performance did you
just like the worst performance did you cut it from the I think it's in there
cut it from the I think it's in there actually and then the the funniest part
actually and then the the funniest part about it and and this isn't to talk [ __ ]
about it and and this isn't to talk [ __ ] it's just a funny anecdote 100% to talk
it's just a funny anecdote 100% to talk [ __ ] no it's just a funny anecdote like
[ __ ] no it's just a funny anecdote like there's there's a culture of like um
there's there's a culture of like um what do you call it pirate
what do you call it pirate reenactors and um so we hired a bunch of
reenactors and um so we hired a bunch of these guys cuz they had they had all the
these guys cuz they had they had all the gear call Smelly they had all the
gear call Smelly they had all the equipment they had all the cool stuff
equipment they had all the cool stuff you know they knew the history so it was
you know they knew the history so it was really nice to have these guys come on a
really nice to have these guys come on a set and they were very very nice and and
set and they were very very nice and and and and they autic they did they had
and and they autic they did they had they made a great addition to the piece
they made a great addition to the piece but the funniest thing was is that they
but the funniest thing was is that they they were all the day before we were
they were all the day before we were like all right guys we're going to go
like all right guys we're going to go out on a tall ship we're going to be
out on a tall ship we're going to be sailing on the open ocean on a tall ship
sailing on the open ocean on a tall ship filming so everyone takes some drama
filming so everyone takes some drama mean because tomorrow you could have
mean because tomorrow you could have motion sickness and they were all like
motion sickness and they were all like bro we're Pirates bro like we don't need
bro we're Pirates bro like we don't need drama mean oh I know where this story go
drama mean oh I know where this story go the next day half of them literally half
the next day half of them literally half of them were sick in the uh what's it
of them were sick in the uh what's it called you know the unders ship yeah the
called you know the unders ship yeah the the
the the ho dude it was so funny had they
the ho dude it was so funny had they ever been on a boat I don't know how the
ever been on a boat I don't know how the [ __ ] do you call yourself a pirate after
[ __ ] do you call yourself a pirate after about 10 minutes on a tall ship you do
about 10 minutes on a tall ship you do get used to it you either get incredibly
get used to it you either get incredibly seasick or you don't it's one of the
seasick or you don't it's one of the other there's no in between there no in
other there's no in between there no in between yeah and I dude I I got into it
between yeah and I dude I I got into it and after after 30 minutes like I was
and after after 30 minutes like I was standing on the edge like with my hand
standing on the edge like with my hand on the Rope like riding and while we
on the Rope like riding and while we were filming it was really fun it
were filming it was really fun it scariest things cuz that's when they
scariest things cuz that's when they actually this is drones had just become
actually this is drones had just become a thing and you guys had your red epic
a thing and you guys had your red epic drones dude over the ocean and this is
drones dude over the ocean and this is again these just [ __ ] came out $8,000
again these just [ __ ] came out $8,000 camera
camera body flying over $8,000 on an $8,000
body flying over $8,000 on an $8,000 maybe it was like 18 I don't know that
maybe it was like 18 I don't know that was 18 cuz you had the scarlet and
was 18 cuz you had the scarlet and that's just the body yeah Scarlet that
that's just the body yeah Scarlet that was back the Drone was the same cost so
was back the Drone was the same cost so we had you know 20 $30,000 of equipment
we had you know 20 $30,000 of equipment over the open ocean trying to get these
over the open ocean trying to get these wide shots with no GPS no there was none
wide shots with no GPS no there was none of this no automated control none no
of this no automated control none no return home but none of the
return home but none of the range out of range it's out of range
range out of range it's out of range yeah
yeah it straight into the
it straight into the water did a great job though those guys
water did a great job though those guys did a fantastic job that's when you
did a fantastic job that's when you actually rent like drone operators you'd
actually rent like drone operators you'd have to pay somebody they bring on their
have to pay somebody they bring on their [ __ ] giant it was a helicopter they
[ __ ] giant it was a helicopter they were helicopters at this point to carry
were helicopters at this point to carry those big ass cameras and it was one
those big ass cameras and it was one dude that just like I got it I got it he
dude that just like I got it I got it he had one guy doing the visuals on the
had one guy doing the visuals on the camera and one guy flying
camera and one guy flying it and then over the O [ __ ] I remember
it and then over the O [ __ ] I remember watching that I was like oh I'm getting
watching that I was like oh I'm getting nervous that would be really [ __ ]
nervous that would be really [ __ ] funny though if you hit the return home
funny though if you hit the return home button and you forget you're on a
button and you forget you're on a [ __ ] Naval vessel it just goes [ __ ]
[ __ ] Naval vessel it just goes [ __ ] off to the random spot in the water you
off to the random spot in the water you were and they didn't have return home
were and they didn't have return home and then we we were trying to get a
and then we we were trying to get a permit from the Coast Guard to let us
permit from the Coast Guard to let us take this other ship out um because it
take this other ship out um because it was a it was a tall ship that they used
was a it was a tall ship that they used in like Mass W commander and and all it
in like Mass W commander and and all it was the USS Rose I believe and it was
was the USS Rose I believe and it was sort of they would allow the Coast Guard
sort of they would allow the Coast Guard would allow it to transfer from one
would allow it to transfer from one location to the other but it wasn't
location to the other but it wasn't seaworthy and they had applied for this
seaworthy and they had applied for this transfer permit like five times and
transfer permit like five times and other film Productions had used it and
other film Productions had used it and so we're like we'll just use the
so we're like we'll just use the transfer permit and then finally the
transfer permit and then finally the government was like no no more transfer
government was like no no more transfer permits you guys are using this for Film
permits you guys are using this for Film Production and we happen to be the ones
Production and we happen to be the ones who they came down on in like literally
who they came down on in like literally a week we had all this production lined
a week we had all this production lined up to film on a tall ship fortunately
up to film on a tall ship fortunately there was another one in Dana Point
there was another one in Dana Point California that we were able to use but
California that we were able to use but it was much smaller and when the guys
it was much smaller and when the guys got in the hle when they all got sick it
got in the hle when they all got sick it was like way smaller than than the other
was like way smaller than than the other one [ __ ] V
one [ __ ] V yeah they CL we clogged up all the
yeah they CL we clogged up all the bathrooms so you couldn't you had to pee
bathrooms so you couldn't you had to pee off the side of the they're used to
off the side of the they're used to those tiny little Colonial shits
they're not used to the the Hungry Man jumbo meal me after
jumbo meal me after brunch [ __ ] Christ is that so Civil
brunch [ __ ] Christ is that so Civil War is your your bread and butter on
War is your your bread and butter on History that's kind of my jam yeah the
History that's kind of my jam yeah the Civil War and then I've been getting
Civil War and then I've been getting into Texas history lately and the commes
into Texas history lately and the commes and then um you know to be stereotypical
and then um you know to be stereotypical the decline and fall of the Roman Empire
the decline and fall of the Roman Empire which there's a great how often do you
which there's a great how often do you think about it all day every day there's
think about it all day every day there's a great history uh it's a good it's a
a great history uh it's a good it's a good bass analysis that's what I love
good bass analysis that's what I love Jake written in 1793 he's so autis
Jake written in 1793 he's so autis um he's just smart Eli oh that's what we
um he's just smart Eli oh that's what we call it it was written in 1793 by this
call it it was written in 1793 by this man named Edward Gibbon um he sort of
man named Edward Gibbon um he sort of like compiled the sort of foundational
like compiled the sort of foundational knowledge of the decline and fall of the
knowledge of the decline and fall of the Roman Empire from Caesar to 1500 ad and
Roman Empire from Caesar to 1500 ad and so I've been reading through that one um
so I've been reading through that one um but I took I took a side journey to read
but I took I took a side journey to read Lonesome Dove which is a great novel
Lonesome Dove which is a great novel about Texas and then uh and then you
about Texas and then uh and then you guys like
guys like he's he's all the gaps that I don't like
he's he's all the gaps that I don't like weest spot Civil War he's the I got the
weest spot Civil War he's the I got the Civil War yeah back in college I have a
Civil War yeah back in college I have a whole class just about World War II
whole class just about World War II haven't read a single thing have a 100%
haven't read a single thing have a 100% in it
in it though did it really oh I swear to God
though did it really oh I swear to God it's just me [ __ ] on college
it's just me [ __ ] on college students the whole class is graded on
students the whole class is graded on discussions and I'm taking just extreme
discussions and I'm taking just extreme points of view and winning every
points of view and winning every argument are you to college right now
argument are you to college right now doing this now yeah okay for funsies wow
doing this now yeah okay for funsies wow you're getting a degree for history yeah
you're getting a degree for history yeah dude that's God people are built
dude that's God people are built different like I look at you guys I'm
different like I look at you guys I'm like okay like a lawyer and just
like okay like a lawyer and just studying it you too you're like I want
studying it you too you're like I want to be an electrician and I'm going to do
to be an electrician and I'm going to do these crazy Tik Tok videos and then I'm
these crazy Tik Tok videos and then I'm going to do some YouTube videos I'm just
going to do some YouTube videos I'm just going to happen to make long form
going to happen to make long form YouTube and crush and then you're going
YouTube and crush and then you're going to hang out with this group and
to hang out with this group and everyone's like do [ __ ] long form
everyone's like do [ __ ] long form Nick you dumb [ __ ] like okay his first
Nick you dumb [ __ ] like okay his first dude his first video how many views did
dude his first video how many views did your first long form get I don't know is
your first long form get I don't know is that like a million something now piece
that like a million something now piece of [ __ ] just imagine your first your
of [ __ ] just imagine your first your first long form cuz these guys come from
first long form cuz these guys come from like the old OG YouTube you don't know
like the old OG YouTube you don't know where I've been man dude I love the even
where I've been man dude I love the even Brandon it's like these time frames of
Brandon it's like these time frames of decades decades and then Nick's like I
decades decades and then Nick's like I started Tik Tok two years ago and
started Tik Tok two years ago and million views H look at my anal itics
million views H look at my anal itics those are pretty dope you see that
those are pretty dope you see that [ __ ] Jen
[ __ ] Jen Zer I'm older than you are you yes wait
Zer I'm older than you are you yes wait are you yes I remember being like super
are you yes I remember being like super close to you guys are both baby so 29 oh
close to you guys are both baby so 29 oh oh wait what the [ __ ] did I think you
oh wait what the [ __ ] did I think you I'm thinking of I'm thinking of Aon no
I'm thinking of I'm thinking of Aon no I'm than you [ __ ] oh [ __ ] everyone just
I'm than you [ __ ] oh [ __ ] everyone just now turning 28 like in a couple days
now turning 28 like in a couple days wait what's the most gangster so if
wait what's the most gangster so if you're in um sorry I love the history M
you're in um sorry I love the history M most gangster the war Civil War but um
most gangster the war Civil War but um the Roman Empire oh dude those guys it
the Roman Empire oh dude those guys it look there's a lot of similarities that
look there's a lot of similarities that can be drawn about today and then but at
can be drawn about today and then but at the same time absolutely [ __ ] none
the same time absolutely [ __ ] none those guys there was one incident where
those guys there was one incident where this is like 250 ad 200
this is like 250 ad 200 ad tumultuous time like past the Pax
ad tumultuous time like past the Pax Roman which is like the piece of Rome
Roman which is like the piece of Rome the period from you know Augustus to 150
the period from you know Augustus to 150 ad where there was this sort of
ad where there was this sort of brilliant peaceful period where the
brilliant peaceful period where the Empire expanded economies were working
Empire expanded economies were working they didn't need walls they had foreign
they didn't need walls they had foreign Legions on all these different fronts
Legions on all these different fronts plenty of Roads yeah plenty of roads
plenty of Roads yeah plenty of roads like I joke around but that's like a big
like I joke around but that's like a big deal back then they aqu deal huge deal
deal back then they aqu deal huge deal yeah the aqus weren't being attacked and
yeah the aqus weren't being attacked and then things things started to sort of
then things things started to sort of you know come apart at the teams um
you know come apart at the teams um because of the the the the corruption
because of the the the the corruption and the comfort that the Empire had and
and the comfort that the Empire had and at one point so the petorian guard which
at one point so the petorian guard which you may have heard of from you know the
you may have heard of from you know the um Gladiator movie where he's like
um Gladiator movie where he's like pretorian sometimes the blade sticks you
pretorian sometimes the blade sticks you know that whole yep yep yep oh the cold
know that whole yep yep yep oh the cold yeah sometimes sometimes the blade
yeah sometimes sometimes the blade sticks exactly so petorian guard
sticks exactly so petorian guard particularly was like the um secret
particularly was like the um secret service of of the time they they but
service of of the time they they but they were you know thousands thousands
they were you know thousands thousands of soldiers and and they were their job
of soldiers and and they were their job was to you know instill the security of
was to you know instill the security of the the purple the the you know the
the the purple the the you know the Empire whoever held the title of
Empire whoever held the title of Augustus because it was Caesar Julius
Augustus because it was Caesar Julius Caesar and then Augustus Octavian came
Caesar and then Augustus Octavian came along and he was like did did an even
along and he was like did did an even better job and sort of solidified the
better job and sort of solidified the Empire as we think of it today and then
Empire as we think of it today and then it became you weren't truly the ruler
it became you weren't truly the ruler unless you were Caesar Augustus if you
unless you were Caesar Augustus if you were just a Caesar it was like he might
were just a Caesar it was like he might get knocked off but if you were Caesar
get knocked off but if you were Caesar Augustus only one guy got to hold that
Augustus only one guy got to hold that title and this was was a time where
title and this was was a time where people were fighting for that and there
people were fighting for that and there was a there was an old sort of uh like
was a there was an old sort of uh like blue blood uh senator who you know he
blue blood uh senator who you know he had he had the right sort of stats on
had he had the right sort of stats on becoming Caesar Augustus why was his
becoming Caesar Augustus why was his blood
blood blue Jesus Christ I'm joking go
blue Jesus Christ I'm joking go on right stats at the time then he
on right stats at the time then he killed a lot of people he went out to
killed a lot of people he went out to the he went out to the
the he went out to the pretorians and they did what was called
pretorians and they did what was called a donative okay if you were going to
a donative okay if you were going to petition the pretorians to sort of
petition the pretorians to sort of instill you with power you had to give
instill you with power you had to give them what they call the donative which
them what they call the donative which is literally same word donation it was a
is literally same word donation it was a fee you paid every you said I will give
fee you paid every you said I will give every petorian guard x amount of money
every petorian guard x amount of money if you support me and he literally
if you support me and he literally converting this to Modern Times Elon
converting this to Modern Times Elon Musk would be president yes and he
Musk would be president yes and he literally outbid he he outbid another
literally outbid he he outbid another Mars boys the pretorians were like well
Mars boys the pretorians were like well we got this guy over here and he's
we got this guy over here and he's offering us this and we got you over
offering us this and we got you over here here and you're offing us this and
here here and you're offing us this and he offered them more money so they said
he offered them more money so they said well fine you we'll invest you with the
well fine you we'll invest you with the purple and you'll be Caesar Augustus and
purple and you'll be Caesar Augustus and that guy was literally Caesar for like
that guy was literally Caesar for like 30 days until another guy found out
30 days until another guy found out about it from some other section of the
about it from some other section of the Empire and came with his army and just
Empire and came with his army and just took it and that's that's they used to
took it and that's that's they used to do that stuff all the
do that stuff all the time I was so gangster back in the day
time I was so gangster back in the day it was just Bloodshed as hell or fear
it was just Bloodshed as hell or fear Bloodshed and fear and then when you get
Bloodshed and fear and then when you get into the later stuff you get some of
into the later stuff you get some of these really sort of Ecentric characters
these really sort of Ecentric characters that come from the sort of Barbarian
that come from the sort of Barbarian fringes of the Empire that the Barbarian
fringes of the Empire that the Barbarian because you know there was the whole
because you know there was the whole thing like we citizenship Roman
thing like we citizenship Roman citizenship was an actual thing like
citizenship was an actual thing like there was taxation legal title all these
there was taxation legal title all these things that were based upon Roman
things that were based upon Roman citizenship and and as the Empire
citizenship and and as the Empire expanded they would give citizenship to
expanded they would give citizenship to more Fringe elements of the Empire to
more Fringe elements of the Empire to sort of quell the fronts and to position
sort of quell the fronts and to position them in a way that Affiliated them
them in a way that Affiliated them towards the Empire rather than towards
towards the Empire rather than towards the the the fronts who were against the
the the the fronts who were against the empire and but then eventually they got
empire and but then eventually they got a little carried away with that and they
a little carried away with that and they got a little bit too you know hand outy
got a little bit too you know hand outy with how many who was a citizen but it
with how many who was a citizen but it allowed for these really eccentric
allowed for these really eccentric characters to come up from these fringes
characters to come up from these fringes like and and become Caesars from all
like and and become Caesars from all these strange walks of life and the book
these strange walks of life and the book basically goes into all that stuff this
basically goes into all that stuff this is [ __ ] te I don't know any of this
is [ __ ] te I don't know any of this I'm like what the [ __ ] are we just are
I'm like what the [ __ ] are we just are we just going to play [ __ ] with Eli with
we just going to play [ __ ] with Eli with history facts I I love it though this is
history facts I I love it though this is your turn it's your turn yeah history go
your turn it's your turn yeah history go okay all right I got one uh there was uh
okay all right I got one uh there was uh I can't [ __ ] remember his name off
I can't [ __ ] remember his name off the top of my head but it was uh we
the top of my head but it was uh we talking about Civil War and talking
talking about Civil War and talking about um uh privately owned warships and
about um uh privately owned warships and everything like that there was one of
everything like that there was one of these I'm trying to Buchanon something
these I'm trying to Buchanon something or another I can't remember who it was
or another I can't remember who it was but it was a uh confederate general or
but it was a uh confederate general or Colonel or something like that that
Colonel or something like that that basically bought his own
basically bought his own commission he basically just like yeah
commission he basically just like yeah I'm rich as [ __ ] I think he was from
I'm rich as [ __ ] I think he was from Charleston I believe he was rich as [ __ ]
Charleston I believe he was rich as [ __ ] and he was just like yeah um I want to
and he was just like yeah um I want to be in control of a regiment of soldiers
be in control of a regiment of soldiers and I'm going to arm them all with my
and I'm going to arm them all with my [ __ ] I'm going to buy them all their
[ __ ] I'm going to buy them all their equipment I'm going to buy him
equipment I'm going to buy him everything and like he basically like
everything and like he basically like funded a good bit of just his his own
funded a good bit of just his his own basically he bought his own regimen all
basically he bought his own regimen all the nicest [ __ ] too oh yeah and then
the nicest [ __ ] too oh yeah and then went out and then they just [ __ ]
went out and then they just [ __ ] kicked ass it was kind of like the
kicked ass it was kind of like the Confederate version of the Rough Riders
Confederate version of the Rough Riders no [ __ ] so he just bought everything
no [ __ ] so he just bought everything out dude it's so bother me that I don't
out dude it's so bother me that I don't know that look at get his name that
know that look at get his name that those are like all those stories it's
those are like all those stories it's Japan Japanese history I know you ready
Japan Japanese history I know you ready for mine yeah oh you know I love this
for mine yeah oh you know I love this this is this is my tism right now do you
this is this is my tism right now do you know who the first American to find out
know who the first American to find out that Stalin died
that Stalin died was the who the first American to find
was the who the first American to find out that Stalin died is it going to be a
out that Stalin died is it going to be a pop culture person okay I kind of
pop culture person okay I kind of figured that's where this was going a
figured that's where this was going a beetle nope well they're American Jesus
beetle nope well they're American Jesus Christ yeah I'm thinking like Western
Christ yeah I'm thinking like Western Johnny Cash really radio Tech in the war
Johnny Cash really radio Tech in the war he was the first one to receive the
he was the first one to receive the transmission that Joseph Stalin
transmission that Joseph Stalin died no
died no [ __ ] so yeah there's that wait for real
[ __ ] so yeah there's that wait for real yeah he just found out I mean I mean
yeah he just found out I mean I mean some historians are going to argue and
some historians are going to argue and be like well he got it in Russian so he
be like well he got it in Russian so he actually just wrote it down and then
actually just wrote it down and then gave it to the translator and the
gave it to the translator and the translator would technically he's the
translator would technically he's the one that heard the [ __ ] those people are
one that heard the [ __ ] those people are really [ __ ] annoying yeah they're
really [ __ ] annoying yeah they're really fun at parties yeah dude that's
really fun at parties yeah dude that's [ __ ] crazy and did you find out what
[ __ ] crazy and did you find out what your guys's no I'm have to look into
your guys's no I'm have to look into that later I I it's been years since I
that later I I it's been years since I heard that story dude all those things
heard that story dude all those things it's like I I love those little segments
it's like I I love those little segments of History cuz it is it's like hey money
of History cuz it is it's like hey money I can buy this and then I can equip my
I can buy this and then I can equip my Soldiers with the best equipment which
Soldiers with the best equipment which makes a huge [ __ ] difference in my
makes a huge [ __ ] difference in my honest opinion I mean money talks and
honest opinion I mean money talks and [ __ ] takes the bus that's like the
[ __ ] takes the bus that's like the the [ __ ] that is the universal lesson
the [ __ ] that is the universal lesson of History what was uh God I I went off
of History what was uh God I I went off a deep end for a second was it like
a deep end for a second was it like didn't one of Lewis and Clark or
didn't one of Lewis and Clark or somebody in there they had like this
somebody in there they had like this super cool it was like a repeating rifle
super cool it was like a repeating rifle but it was a [ __ ] air musket it was
but it was a [ __ ] air musket it was they're like very expensive very
they're like very expensive very whatever but he could actually fire off
whatever but he could actually fire off like a lot of ammunition a minute if it
like a lot of ammunition a minute if it was functioning properly air rifles were
was functioning properly air rifles were a big thing before we got self-contained
a big thing before we got self-contained cartridges that was that was a big thing
cartridges that was that was a big thing there's a lot of Steampunk prototype
there's a lot of Steampunk prototype weapons that were um that were all Air
weapons that were um that were all Air powerered there was one I had not heard
powerered there was one I had not heard of and I can't remember what it's called
of and I can't remember what it's called but actually dick Masterson was one who
but actually dick Masterson was one who told me about it uh he's like ah you're
told me about it uh he's like ah you're a big gun guy you probably know this and
a big gun guy you probably know this and it I did not know about it was like an
it I did not know about it was like an early like it was like a 1700s 1800s
early like it was like a 1700s 1800s prototype that was basically just like a
prototype that was basically just like a bowl that would spin really [ __ ] fast
bowl that would spin really [ __ ] fast and it had a hole in it and basically it
and it had a hole in it and basically it would just use centripetal force to
would just use centripetal force to [ __ ] sling bullets real goddamn quick
[ __ ] sling bullets real goddamn quick wow I was like wow what a [ __ ] weird
wow I was like wow what a [ __ ] weird concept that's super cool there's all
concept that's super cool there's all sorts of weird stuff like before we
sorts of weird stuff like before we figured out oh oh here's here's a really
figured out oh oh here's here's a really cool history fact I went down this
cool history fact I went down this Rabbit Hole cuz I was looking at
Rabbit Hole cuz I was looking at um uh specifically Gatling guns okay um
um uh specifically Gatling guns okay um you going to make an AK version of one
you going to make an AK version of one no got you the uh I think Sons of Guns
no got you the uh I think Sons of Guns actually did that regular day like a SAA
actually did that regular day like a SAA 12 shotgun it was [ __ ] but the uh so
12 shotgun it was [ __ ] but the uh so Eli you like this cool history fact uh
Eli you like this cool history fact uh do you know when the first minigun was
do you know when the first minigun was patented like an electric tell them did
patented like an electric tell them did I tell I already told
I tell I already told you it was like the first
you it was like the first electric no it was literally like one of
electric no it was literally like one of the first documented uses for an
the first documented uses for an electric motor was [ __ ] it let's put it
electric motor was [ __ ] it let's put it on a gun one of the first things they
on a gun one of the first things they did 1870s but they were they were
did 1870s but they were they were looking at it and they they basically
looking at it and they they basically patented the
patented the Minun 80 years before General Electric
Minun 80 years before General Electric ever touched it cuz they were just like
ever touched it cuz they were just like it was literally like the Tony Stark's
it was literally like the Tony Stark's dad thing are you telling me that Edison
dad thing are you telling me that Edison claimed something that didn't belong to
claimed something that didn't belong to him I don't know if it was Edison but he
him I don't know if it was Edison but he never did that no cuz I've seen the
never did that no cuz I've seen the drawings and there's like big okay I got
drawings and there's like big okay I got it yeah yeah I'm slow but what they did
it yeah yeah I'm slow but what they did uh well cuz they they were thinking of
uh well cuz they they were thinking of an electrically electrically fired
an electrically electrically fired Gatling gun essentially they were like
Gatling gun essentially they were like we literally Lally don't have the
we literally Lally don't have the technology to feed this fast enough they
technology to feed this fast enough they said hypothetical rate of fire of 2,000
said hypothetical rate of fire of 2,000 rounds a minute they're like we we can
rounds a minute they're like we we can we can shoot it we just can't feed it we
we can shoot it we just can't feed it we don't know how like let's put a pin in
don't know how like let's put a pin in this it was the Tony Stark dad thing
this it was the Tony Stark dad thing where he's like this is technology that
where he's like this is technology that is above my time but here keep this for
is above my time but here keep this for later and you'll figure it out when you
later and you'll figure it out when you have the tech wow cuz that was before
have the tech wow cuz that was before obviously we had self-contained
obviously we had self-contained cartridges that fed on a belt or
cartridges that fed on a belt or anything like that and once we got that
anything like that and once we got that all figured out we literally went back
all figured out we literally went back like hey hold on wait a minute
like hey hold on wait a minute let's I want to kill a lot of people
let's I want to kill a lot of people really quick um let's let's let's dig
really quick um let's let's let's dig that old patent out I love old weapon
that old patent out I love old weapon Tech is the most crazy [ __ ] as you're
Tech is the most crazy [ __ ] as you're saying it's like humans are just like oh
saying it's like humans are just like oh motor what can we do first car no kill
motor what can we do first car no kill look as advanced as we are the two
look as advanced as we are the two things that progress our society our
things that progress our society our society forward technologically is war
society forward technologically is war and sex yes yeah literally as much as we
and sex yes yeah literally as much as we like to pretend we're Savages VR if you
like to pretend we're Savages VR if you wonder why VR Tech is the where it is
wonder why VR Tech is the where it is it's cuz we want to [ __ ] Rob this
it's cuz we want to [ __ ] Rob this literally why V some incels wanted to
literally why V some incels wanted to get down like pornography has led to so
get down like pornography has led to so much technological in Innovation it's
much technological in Innovation it's like it's degenerate as [ __ ] but like
like it's degenerate as [ __ ] but like that's just objectively true Cy
that's just objectively true Cy industrial we just want fight and [ __ ]
industrial we just want fight and [ __ ] that's all we want to do yeah that's a
that's all we want to do yeah that's a cyber Punk with that like as you were
cyber Punk with that like as you were saying on the anime it's like they just
saying on the anime it's like they just like VR and they have the yeah the dick
like VR and they have the yeah the dick stroke women are [ __ ] that's why it's
stroke women are [ __ ] that's why it's kind of a it's kind of a miracle that
kind of a it's kind of a miracle that we're as uh lawful and civilized as we
we're as uh lawful and civilized as we generally are oh yeah I mean take it for
generally are oh yeah I mean take it for years it took a couple thousand years
years it took a couple thousand years couple of th it's like you guys were
couple of th it's like you guys were talking about coup th how all power was
talking about coup th how all power was was basically derived from just fear and
was basically derived from just fear and blood and you know I'm so glad that we
blood and you know I'm so glad that we don't do that anymore like to secure the
don't do that anymore like to secure the Petra dollar for example right wait yeah
Petra dollar for example right wait yeah no no no we're going with that that's
no no no we're going with that that's where we're going yeah oh [ __ ] it yeah
where we're going yeah oh [ __ ] it yeah that's exactly what happened when was
that's exactly what happened when was the first the first guns were invented
the first the first guns were invented during the um Mongolian you consider a
during the um Mongolian you consider a gun pivot the Mongolians us to use them
gun pivot the Mongolians us to use them for the they would ride them on the
for the they would ride them on the horse and the really yeah Mongolians
horse and the really yeah Mongolians built Mongolians were the first ones to
built Mongolians were the first ones to develop like they would use explosives
develop like they would use explosives in battle they would really yeah yeah oh
in battle they would really yeah yeah oh yeah genas khon was a [ __ ] G with
yeah genas khon was a [ __ ] G with that [ __ ] they also used the um writing
that [ __ ] they also used the um writing into battle they found out if you put a
into battle they found out if you put a tube and um a metal tube and you would
tube and um a metal tube and you would ride and you put TNT or explosives in it
ride and you put TNT or explosives in it and just Jam down goes out the enemy
and just Jam down goes out the enemy Direction yeah and they're like hey this
Direction yeah and they're like hey this is dope just for explosives too they
is dope just for explosives too they would wow use uh they would use dead
would wow use uh they would use dead bodies and stuff to launch over walls in
bodies and stuff to launch over walls in order to poison they also found out hey
order to poison they also found out hey this [ __ ] explodes too use that like
this [ __ ] explodes too use that like genas Khan you were looking at he
genas Khan you were looking at he invented the Minute Men a lot of kids
invented the Minute Men a lot of kids yeah a lot of kids lot of lot more than
yeah a lot of kids lot of lot more than your guy lot more than 185 I'll tell you
your guy lot more than 185 I'll tell you that he he uninvented a lot of other
that he he uninvented a lot of other people's kids yes he did so much so he
people's kids yes he did so much so he reduced the carbon footprint of the
reduced the carbon footprint of the entire planet I mean he did that he did
entire planet I mean he did that he did literally you can track that Environ do
literally you can track that Environ do you know that right climate change he
you know that right climate change he changed the carbon footprint look he
changed the carbon footprint look he was he was no not for climate change he
was he was no not for climate change he was for climate preservation yeah I
was for climate preservation yeah I don't know I forget yeah he [ __ ]
don't know I forget yeah he [ __ ] killed enough people that there was an
killed enough people that there was an actual change in the carbon footprint
actual change in the carbon footprint that is documented like huh may have
that is documented like huh may have been
been coincidental he killed a [ __ ] [ __ ]
coincidental he killed a [ __ ] [ __ ] ton of people like that's true how many
ton of people like that's true how many he killed was it like f uh fifth or 10th
he killed was it like f uh fifth or 10th per of the population it was a
per of the population it was a percentile of the human population which
percentile of the human population which is that's that's why Hitler's your
is that's that's why Hitler's your climate
mine I read mine comp there's nothing in there about like bye
there about like bye [Laughter]
[Laughter] Woody oh my God [ __ ] hell this just
Woody oh my God [ __ ] hell this just flew away do you have time for one more
flew away do you have time for one more story huh One More Story that you may or
story huh One More Story that you may or may not know go um I can't remember
may not know go um I can't remember which side did it okay but this this
which side did it okay but this this sounds like some redneck engineering so
sounds like some redneck engineering so I'm going to say Confederate just off
I'm going to say Confederate just off the top of my head had Civil War [ __ ]
the top of my head had Civil War [ __ ] rednecks uh the battle Petersburg yeah
rednecks uh the battle Petersburg yeah okay yeah do you know about the
okay yeah do you know about the Petersburg crater yeah yeah yeah that's
Petersburg crater yeah yeah yeah that's a cool one yeah tell that one so that
a cool one yeah tell that one so that was like a [ __ ] 1800s nuke yeah so
was like a [ __ ] 1800s nuke yeah so what they basically did is they just
what they basically did is they just they they dug into the into the Earth uh
they they dug into the into the Earth uh during like they knew basically where
during like they knew basically where they were going to fight so they're like
they were going to fight so they're like all right so what if we lay in Ambush
all right so what if we lay in Ambush where they dug up a bunch of land filled
where they dug up a bunch of land filled it with barrels of gunpowder like a
it with barrels of gunpowder like a fuckload so so either side they they
fuckload so so either side they they were entrenched yeah they were
were entrenched yeah they were entrenched outside of
entrenched outside of Petersburg the you know they had holes
Petersburg the you know they had holes in the holes in the side of the hills
in the holes in the side of the hills nobody was moving anywhere so the union
nobody was moving anywhere so the union gets this great idea is it was it Union
gets this great idea is it was it Union yeah they were like what if we just dug
yeah they were like what if we just dug a giant tunnel over to the Confederate
a giant tunnel over to the Confederate side and then put a bunch of gunpowder
side and then put a bunch of gunpowder in it and exploded their entrenchments
in it and exploded their entrenchments and they were in the middle of doing
and they were in the middle of doing this and like something did something go
this and like something did something go wrong I don't remember but I I've a
wrong I don't remember but I I've a giant hole in the earth in between these
giant hole in the earth in between these two battlements and yeah it's a big
two battlements and yeah it's a big [ __ ]
[ __ ] crater how much [ __ ] TNT was that
crater how much [ __ ] TNT was that quite a lot British did it to the
quite a lot British did it to the Germans in World War I it was way bigger
Germans in World War I it was way bigger though I I think they killed like they
though I I think they killed like they they dug they it's called sapping where
they dug they it's called sapping where you dig underneath they sapped for two
you dig underneath they sapped for two years they dug a tunnel system and
years they dug a tunnel system and carried in black powder and explosives
carried in black powder and explosives underneath the German lines for two
underneath the German lines for two [ __ ] year that's like that's the term
[ __ ] year that's like that's the term for like digging underneath the enemy
for like digging underneath the enemy and
and drink no no it's where the term sapper
drink no no it's where the term sapper comes oh that's where sapper came from
comes oh that's where sapper came from interesting okay so it was they killed
interesting okay so it was they killed like 10,000 Germans when they blew this
like 10,000 Germans when they blew this thing up like it made a [ __ ] Lake wow
thing up like it made a [ __ ] Lake wow but like my whole thing that blew away
but like my whole thing that blew away it was like [ __ ] hey I'm going to I'm
it was like [ __ ] hey I'm going to I'm going to dig a trench for [ __ ] two
going to dig a trench for [ __ ] two years just go ahead and hold the front
years just go ahead and hold the front line right where you're at for two
line right where you're at for two [ __ ] years just the thought process
[ __ ] years just the thought process is like this battle is going to last
is like this battle is going to last that long World War II was by sorry
that long World War II was by sorry World War I was absolutely they had the
World War I was absolutely they had the technology of World War II but they had
technology of World War II but they had the tech and the American Revolutionary
the tech and the American Revolutionary War all on the same batt yes there
War all on the same batt yes there [ __ ] chaos austr hungarians are
[ __ ] chaos austr hungarians are running around on Horseback with armor
running around on Horseback with armor and sword
and sword Britain's got [ __ ]
Britain's got [ __ ] tanks that's what I love is you have
tanks that's what I love is you have tanks and horses on the same [ __ ]
tanks and horses on the same [ __ ] Battleground and it wasn't weird that
Battleground and it wasn't weird that was where that was where the World War I
was where that was where the World War I and World War II in in a in a sentence
and World War II in in a in a sentence is how feudalism ended like the actual
is how feudalism ended like the actual political situation the fighting
political situation the fighting techniques everything that came after
techniques everything that came after that that period of time the first half
that that period of time the first half of the 20th century is where feudalism
of the 20th century is where feudalism actually truly died and the modern era
actually truly died and the modern era began and it's really where we learned
began and it's really where we learned our lesson about things like the League
our lesson about things like the League of Nations and why we should never have
of Nations and why we should never have giant alliances with multiple countries
giant alliances with multiple countries who don't have the same interest who are
who don't have the same interest who are in the interest of cuz we will we you
in the interest of cuz we will we you know we would avoid Another War yeah
know we would avoid Another War yeah [ __ ] so [ __ ] we didn't learn goddamn
[ __ ] so [ __ ] we didn't learn goddamn Victoria we'll Lear next time thear the
Victoria we'll Lear next time thear the Zar Russia go to Mainland China uh
Zar Russia go to Mainland China uh Wilhelm of Germany and um the king of
Wilhelm of Germany and um the king of England were all first cousins yeah I
England were all first cousins yeah I want to say who who their their
want to say who who their their grandmother was Queen Victoria that's
grandmother was Queen Victoria that's literally what kicked off world war yeah
literally what kicked off world war yeah and they all had alliances and so if you
and they all had alliances and so if you if you listen to um yeah I have that
if you listen to um yeah I have that pistol actually it's a 19 model
pistol actually it's a 19 model 1910 Browning something like that little
1910 Browning something like that little small [ __ ] yeah I've got one I'm I'm
small [ __ ] yeah I've got one I'm I'm going to do a video on that spoiler okay
going to do a video on that spoiler okay it's only fine I spoil one of my videos
it's only fine I spoil one of my videos yeah I'm going to do a video going up on
yeah I'm going to do a video going up on it uh calling it uh testing the gun that
it uh calling it uh testing the gun that started World War I I volunteer just you
started World War I I volunteer just you you and killed fat
electrician it's [ __ ] a single one see ah history's [ __ ] dope yeah I
see ah history's [ __ ] dope yeah I only know like Japanese history like
only know like Japanese history like noaga the samurai that yeah you were
noaga the samurai that yeah you were telling me about that the other day that
telling me about that the other day that dude if like those or or gangas Khan
dude if like those or or gangas Khan those gangsters it's in your blood D I
those gangsters it's in your blood D I mean not Japanese but close enough I
mean not Japanese but close enough I will
will theet I will do the exit was it a
theet I will do the exit was it a Philippines where were you yeah yeah not
Philippines where were you yeah yeah not Japanese they're the the good Asian well
Japanese they're the the good Asian well to be fair good bit of the Philippines
to be fair good bit of the Philippines with Japanese for a minute they get
with Japanese for a minute they get along real well a lot of people who one
along real well a lot of people who one another a lot of people who are Mexican
another a lot of people who are Mexican have Filipino blood because the
have Filipino blood because the Spaniards were over there and they
Spaniards were over there and they that's how Wendy my wife's Mexican and
that's how Wendy my wife's Mexican and she's got a little Filipino because they
she's got a little Filipino because they took one of her you know
took one of her you know grandparents from the Philippines and
grandparents from the Philippines and brought her to
brought her to Mexico totally on purp like totally yeah
Mexico totally on purp like totally yeah yeah they ask they were like hey you
yeah they ask they were like hey you want to come they like yeah toally
want to come they like yeah toally totally
totally voluntar history is [ __ ] metal when
voluntar history is [ __ ] metal when you start looking into a lot of it it's
you start looking into a lot of it it's like oh wow literally every single one
like oh wow literally every single one of us is just a child of [ __ ] and
of us is just a child of [ __ ] and pillaging oh yeah at some probably a lot
pillaging oh yeah at some probably a lot all it is you look until the last 100
all it is you look until the last 100 years that's all war and everything was
years that's all war and everything was this like hey this is how all countries
this like hey this is how all countries develop myners win my grandparents met
develop myners win my grandparents met she was a German civilian World War II
she was a German civilian World War II yeah and then Grandpa came in was like
yeah and then Grandpa came in was like Hey yep
Hey yep do you like
do you like Texas come on down but yeah Wendy's uh
Texas come on down but yeah Wendy's uh grandmother uh was uh a Spaniard in in
grandmother uh was uh a Spaniard in in Mexico at the time who when uh
Mexico at the time who when uh Zapata and and
Zapata and and um Don kot like fought against the
um Don kot like fought against the government look at all our faces right
government look at all our faces right now he's white he has no idea what
now he's white he has no idea what you're talking about me and the other
you're talking about me and the other Mexican are like I don't even I can't
Mexican are like I don't even I can't even say that word donot is the was it
even say that word donot is the was it donot or he's the guy who fought the
donot or he's the guy who fought the windmills okay well Zapata yeah whoever
windmills okay well Zapata yeah whoever was to the north of Zapata I'm perhaps
was to the north of Zapata I'm perhaps getting wrong but anyways I'm trying to
getting wrong but anyways I'm trying to remember they they they you know they
remember they they they you know they basically
basically they took over and yeah they just owned
they took over and yeah they just owned the [ __ ] noaga Japan you had a literal
the [ __ ] noaga Japan you had a literal dude that was a poor family or they they
dude that was a poor family or they they were like Hey we're doing good dad dies
were like Hey we're doing good dad dies you're supposed to like the oldest son
you're supposed to like the oldest son takes place nanaga wasn't the oldest son
takes place nanaga wasn't the oldest son and he was the one that didn't give a
and he was the one that didn't give a [ __ ] you're supposed to respect your
[ __ ] you're supposed to respect your like Dad Barry I forget the traditional
like Dad Barry I forget the traditional Japanese burial method he burnt the body
Japanese burial method he burnt the body he's like I don't give a [ __ ] we're
he's like I don't give a [ __ ] we're doing it my way now I'm taking command
doing it my way now I'm taking command of all this [ __ ] and they were like no
of all this [ __ ] and they were like no then the brothers said didn't agree he
then the brothers said didn't agree he was like okay well then [ __ ] fight me
was like okay well then [ __ ] fight me for it yeah well war and then he took
for it yeah well war and then he took control of it and then he was like okay
control of it and then he was like okay we're training all the farmers and we're
we're training all the farmers and we're training everyone to actually be samurai
training everyone to actually be samurai and know how to fight also uh these
and know how to fight also uh these things called guns
things called guns uh I don't give a [ __ ] everyone else
uh I don't give a [ __ ] everyone else thinks these are not honorable we're
thinks these are not honorable we're using them let them come in we'll the
using them let them come in we'll the first wave shoot them and then pull out
first wave shoot them and then pull out the swords that you all know how to use
the swords that you all know how to use because it was a time when only the
because it was a time when only the samurai knew how to use swords he's like
samurai knew how to use swords he's like [ __ ] that farmers are going to learn
[ __ ] that farmers are going to learn everyone is going to be equipped and
everyone is going to be equipped and then all the dudes that rose with him
then all the dudes that rose with him that were farmers and just dumb people
that were farmers and just dumb people he made them the executives he's like
he made them the executives he's like hey you're in charge of this entire
hey you're in charge of this entire region hey you're in charge of this
region hey you're in charge of this entire region hey let's fake him out
entire region hey let's fake him out we're going to say we're going here and
we're going to say we're going here and then they'll send their army then we'll
then they'll send their army then we'll go to their military base and just wipe
go to their military base and just wipe them out kill their leaders and then
them out kill their leaders and then we'll control that area and then he
we'll control that area and then he unified Japan doing that which is
unified Japan doing that which is [ __ ] insane dude was a hard ass
[ __ ] insane dude was a hard ass everyone respected the [ __ ] out of him
everyone respected the [ __ ] out of him but dude was a hard ass when it came to
but dude was a hard ass when it came to a combat it was awesome like read that
a combat it was awesome like read that piece of History you're like this one
piece of History you're like this one dude one dude took over all of Japan
dude one dude took over all of Japan just from his ideology you know next
just from his ideology you know next time we do one of these history centered
time we do one of these history centered podcast I promise that I'm going to have
podcast I promise that I'm going to have a complete story that I know all the
a complete story that I know all the names of everyone involved and I'll be
names of everyone involved and I'll be able to actually tell
able to actually tell it I'll do my research this is [ __ ] this
it I'll do my research this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] I remember off the fly it's like
is [ __ ] I remember off the fly it's like dude I've been eight years since I heard
dude I've been eight years since I heard this [ __ ] story was it Pon OFA Poncho
this [ __ ] story was it Pon OFA Poncho via that's what it was boom I was
via that's what it was boom I was thinking about it I was like man people
thinking about it I was like man people in the comments are going to get me it's
in the comments are going to get me it's Poncho via yeah yeah donke hot was the
Poncho via yeah yeah donke hot was the guy who fought windmills mhm imaginary
guy who fought windmills mhm imaginary dragons I'm sorry that's a yeah and on
dragons I'm sorry that's a yeah and on that note we're going to wrap up this
that note we're going to wrap up this history special with lawyer Jake over
history special with lawyer Jake over here Brandon and Mr fat electrician guys
here Brandon and Mr fat electrician guys where can we find you you beautiful
where can we find you you beautiful people uh fat electrician. comom Brandon
people uh fat electrician. comom Brandon Herrera for congress.com
Herrera for congress.com youtube.com/ Corridor
youtube.com/ Corridor crew Corridor crew now not Corridor
crew Corridor crew now not Corridor Digital no or Corridor Digital wherever
Digital no or Corridor Digital wherever you find us type in Corridor and then
you find us type in Corridor and then the autofill we'll do the rest I just
the autofill we'll do the rest I just like you said Corridor yeah cor crew my
like you said Corridor yeah cor crew my favorite
favorite you know it's good it's good stuff it's
you know it's good it's good stuff it's good stuff hey go check out the after
good stuff hey go check out the after show Brandon might have to leave cuz he
show Brandon might have to leave cuz he has another podcast to do but we're do
has another podcast to do but we're do an extra 20 have a good time
an extra 20 have a good time [Music]
[Music] [Applause]
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