The core theme is Carl Jung's concept of individuation, the lifelong process of becoming one's true self by shedding external expectations and attachments, confronting one's inner shadow, and establishing psychological freedom and self-respect.
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When Jung spoke about the path of life,
he used a very particular word, individuation.
individuation.
This is the process in which every human
being gradually becomes who they truly
are and not merely what others expect
them to be. It is as if throughout life
we shed layers, masks, and social roles
until we finally discover the center of
our being, what he called the self. But
this path is anything but easy. We often
remain stuck in emotional dependencies
in relationships or ideas that no longer
serve us. It is as if someone had lived
for years relying on a crutch. At the
beginning it was important. It gave
support and security. But eventually the
legs grow strong again. Balance returns
and the crutch no longer makes sense. To
hold on to it then only means carrying
unnecessary weight. The psyche works the
same way. We cling to attachments, fears
or old habits as if they were
indispensable even though in reality
they only hold back our growth. Jung
said that in order to move forward, we
must recognize what is no longer part of
our path. And this letting go is not
only practical but profoundly symbolic.
It is the moment when the soul demands
that we walk on our own. The unconscious
begins to send signals that we are ready
to take a greater step. The important
point is this. Individuation does not
mean becoming perfect, enlightened or
free of problems. Quite the opposite, it
means taking responsibility for one's
destiny, acknowledging one's weaknesses,
and still choosing to walk the path on
one's own two feet. This first act of
letting go of what no longer makes sense
is painful because we have grown
accustomed to external supports, to
emotional crutches. But it is precisely
in this pain that freedom arises. The
realization that the path is our own and
that no one can walk it for us. On every
journey of transformation comes the
moment when we must release the old. For
Jung this was an essential part of
individuation almost like a right of
passage. We leave old bonds behind to
create space for a new version of
ourselves. Yet letting go is not as
simple as it sounds. It is not merely
about ending contacts or forgetting the
past. Attachment is something emotional,
symbolic, and often unconscious.
Sometimes we still cling to people who
have long since left our lives simply
because a part of us has not yet
processed what that relationship meant.
It is like keeping clothes that no
longer fit. You open the closet, look at
them, know perfectly well that you will
never wear them again, and yet you
cannot give them away. Because the
garment carries a memory, perhaps of a
special day, an important phase of life,
a piece of your story. What you do not
want to release is not the fabric, but
what it symbolizes. It is the same with
people. We hold on to bonds that have
lost their function because they
represent something deeper for us.
security, belonging or a kind of love we
longed for but never truly received.
That is why it is important to
understand letting go does not mean
rejection. It does not mean denying the
past or pretending it had no value. On
the contrary, genuine letting go arises
only when we acknowledge the meaning of
an experience, feel gratitude for what
was and still accept that this chapter
of life is over. It is like a tree in
autumn that lets its leaves fall. Not
because it rejects life, but because it
understands that the process is natural
and necessary.
When Yung speaks of symbols and
archetypes, he reminds us that every
ending is at the same time a beginning.
If we desperately cling to what has long
passed, we remain trapped in the past
and prevent the new from emerging. But
if we let go, we create space for the
unconscious to present us with new
possibilities, images, and paths that
bring us closer to our true self. This
occurs in many situations in a
relationship that has long brought no
peace, but we continue it out of fear of loneliness.
loneliness.
In a job that no longer has meaning, but
we do not leave out of fear of the unknown.
unknown.
Or in old beliefs that we have repeated
all our lives, but that no longer fit
our truth. Letting go hurts because it
feels like a loss. Yet in reality, it is
the opposite. It is an act of transformation.
transformation.
Each time we release something that no
longer serves us, we pass through a kind
of right of passage and come a little
closer to the self, that deep authentic
part within us. The challenge lies in
trusting that by letting go we do not
become empty but open open to receiving
the new. And now I am curious what was
the hardest thing you ever had to part
with in your life. Feel free to write it
in the comments. I look forward to
reading about your experience. And if
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subscribe to the channel and leave a
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deep thoughts with you. A large part of
human suffering arises because we
struggle to deal with our own shadow
side. Jung said that the shadow is the
hidden part of our psyche. Everything we
do not want to see or admit within
ourselves. Impulses, weaknesses,
desires, and fears that we would rather
repress precisely because we ignore
them, they distort our lives. A simple
example, we strive to be kind, patient,
and understanding even toward people who
do not appreciate it at all. Behind this
is not only genuine generosity, often
there is also an unconscious part that
fears rejection and desperately seeks
acceptance at any cost. As long as we do
not recognize this part, we remain stuck
in hurtful relationships, believing that
endlessly giving is the right attitude.
Yet, it is precisely this that prolongs
the pain. If we do not confront the
shadow, it controls us.
Boundless kindness, for instance, can
mask a hidden fear of saying no or the
fear of seeming selfish or an
unconscious need to constantly prove
one's worth. The more we repress this,
the more we find ourselves in situations
that drain us and distance us from
ourselves. Jung emphasized, "Confronting
the shadow does not mean becoming a bad
or negative person, but rather accepting
what we otherwise repress."
The problem is not the shadow itself but
the fact that we keep it hidden and
allow it to act unconsciously. Suffering
in this sense is a signal. It shows us
that there is something within us that
seeks acknowledgement. Every time we
realize that we give too much and
receive nothing in return, that we
sacrifice ourselves for someone who does
not reciprocate, our psyche is trying to
tell us something is not right here.
This discomfort is an invitation to look
more deeply.
Perhaps it is driven by the fear of
being alone.
Perhaps by the belief that being good
means never setting boundaries.
Shadow work means recognizing these
unconscious motives and dealing with
them consciously. This does not make us
weaker but more complete. Understanding
that the pain within us has a root is
the first step towards stopping the
habit of giving the best of ourselves to
those who cannot accept it. Saying no is
one of the most important acts of
self-care. We often think that setting
boundaries is harsh or selfish. Yet Jung
shows us symbolically it is a step
towards psychic integration. We
recognize that our energy is not
infinite and that we must protect it in
order to grow. Setting boundaries does
not mean turning away from everyone or
constantly being defensive. It means
understanding how far we can go without
losing ourselves. It is the moment when
generosity and self-respect come into
balance. When helpfulness and self-p
protection stand side by side. This
carries enormous symbolic power because
it makes the self visible. It asserts
itself in the world. Many of us grew up
with the idea that being good means
never saying no. that love always means
sacrifice that in friendship or family
one must silently endure everything. But
this very pattern leads to a wound. Bit
by bit one erases oneself until one no
longer knows who one truly is. It is
precisely then that boundary setting
becomes necessary. Boundaries act like
an invisible line that protects our
inner space. With a no we say I matter
too. This is more than an outward
action. It is an inner step. It shows
that we have stopped living solely by
the expectations of others. Of course,
it is not easy to set boundaries. There
come feelings of guilt, fear of
disappointing others or the sense that
we might be rejected. But it is
precisely because it is difficult that
it holds such power. It marks the moment
when we stop living only for approval
and start acting according to our own
inner truth. For Jung, this is a
decisive step in the process of
individuation. The psyche needs this
inner order, the balance between giving
and receiving, between openness and
protection. Once we find this measure,
we no longer waste energy trying to save
people who do not want to be saved, and
we can direct our strength toward what
truly allows us to grow. Boundaries are
therefore not walls to keep the world
out, but a sign of self-respect. They
mark the moment when the self takes
shape. The shadow ceases to control our
behavior and we begin to take our place
with dignity. One of the greatest
sources of human suffering lies in the
fact that we project onto others what we
carry within ourselves.
Jung explained that projection is a
natural mechanism of the unconscious.
We place into others those aspects we
have not yet recognized in ourselves,
both positive and difficult ones. That
is why we often believe others see,
feel, and understand the world as we do.
The problem begins when we confuse this
projection with reality. Then we expect
people to act according to our
perspective. And when they do not, we
experience disappointment, hurt, or even
betrayal. We expect empathy from someone
who cannot give it, loyalty from someone
who never promised it, understanding
from someone who sees things entirely
differently. This expectation arises not
from a real agreement but from the image
we created and projected onto the other.
It is like looking into a distorted mirror.
mirror.
We think we are seeing the other person
but in fact we are only seeing a part of
ourselves reflected back and
disappointment is inevitable because no
one can permanently carry another's
projection. This happens in many areas.
In romantic relationships when we
idealize a partner and later suffer
because they do not live up to the
image. In friendships when we expect
complete understanding and feel
abandoned when the other has their own
priorities or at work when we assume
everyone is as committed as we are and
then despair over indifference. The
error lies in believing that others
exist to fulfill our expectations. This
illusion distances us both from the
reality of the other and from our own
inner truth. Jung said that real change
begins only when we acknowledge what
truly belongs to us. As long as we
project, we do not look at our own
issues. Recognizing and taking back a
projection is not easy. It requires
humility to admit that what we see in
the other is a reflection of something
unresolved within ourselves. Yet, this
step is liberating. We stop imposing
roles on others that were never theirs
and instead recognize our own aspects
that need to be worked through.
Projections, therefore, are not enemies.
They are clues pointing to what is
hidden in the psyche. The mistake lies
in getting stuck in them and believing
that other people's lives must align
with our view. The path of individuation
demands that we pierce this veil
to recognize what is projection and to
give the other person back the right to
be themselves.
One of the most common illusions is
believing we can change people. We talk,
explain, try to open their eyes as if we
could push someone into awareness or
growth. Yung reminds us this is a
deception. True transformation never
happens from the outside in, but only
when a person themselves recognizes that
change is necessary. We often see the
problems of others with perfect clarity.
The recurring patterns, the obvious
mistakes, the way they hurt themselves
and others. And within us grows the urge
to show the way, to offer solutions, to
provide answers. But this rarely works
because the psyche has its own rhythm.
No real change occurs until the person
is ready to look inward. It is like
trying to wake someone who is still
dreaming. You can shake them, you can
insist, but they will close their eyes
again. Only when the dream is over do
they truly awaken. In the same way, no
one changes simply because another says
they should.
Transformation requires the inner
struggle, the courage to face one's own
shadow, and the willingness to let go of
old patterns that though painful are
familiar. How often do we waste energy
trying to save someone? We attempt to
heal, advise and carry burdens that are
not ours, and the result is almost
always frustration. The other remains
the same, and we are left exhausted.
This happens because we confuse
compassion with control. Helping is
possible but only to the extent that the
other allows it. If we go beyond that,
we deny the truth that change is always
a solitary process and that every person
must walk their own path. Yung
emphasized, "True work begins only when
consciousness turns inward. As long as
we blame the world, our parents,
friends, or society, we remain on the
surface. Only when we recognize that the
root lies within ourselves does real
transformation occur. This step requires
ruthless honesty. To accept that we are
not passive victims of fate but active
creators of our own story. Therefore,
waiting for others to change before we
change ourselves means remaining in
illusion. Individuation means precisely
this reversal. turning inward,
understanding our own shadows,
integrating what has been repressed, and
thus living more fully step by step. And
yet change is never final. The psyche is
alive, constantly in motion, always
seeking adaptation, new balances, new
inner confrontations.
True transformation is not a final
state, but an ongoing process of
self-discovery. And it never begins on
the outside but always within.
Psychological freedom is one of the most
precious gifts we can give ourselves.
Jung said that much of human suffering
comes from our dependence on the
approval of others. From the need to
live for the expectations of the world
instead of our own. When we free
ourselves from this, we feel for the
first time the autonomy of the self.
Psychological freedom does not mean
isolation or coldness. It does not mean
disconnecting from life. On the
contrary, it means living fully aware
regardless of whether others approve or
not. It is the ability to look inward
and know that our decisions do not
require constant validation. That we may
hear our own voice without fear of being
wrong. Too often we let ourselves be
bound by the opinions of others. We
measure our worth by external reactions.
Seek recognition where there are only
expectations. adapt ourselves to
patterns that are not our own. This
invisible prison drains our energy, robs
us of authenticity, and prevents us from
living in our own rhythm. Jung reminds
us breaking these chains is an act of
courage and self-love. It means
respecting our own mind, our own heart,
and our own story. Freedom also brings
clarity. When we are no longer dependent
on the approval of others, we see
relationships, situations, and decisions
more clearly, we can detach from people
who do not do us good, without guilt.
Simply because we have understood that
our integrity comes first. We can make
important decisions even if they
disappoint expectations without being
consumed by fear. The path of
individuation consists largely in this
liberation. Each step toward inner
autonomy is a victory over fears,
projections, and inherited patterns.
When we let go of the need to constantly
please, we begin consciously to claim
our space, to live according to our own
truth, and to recognize the value of our
existence for its own sake, independent
of the recognition of others. This
freedom means not only external choices,
but inner peace. It is the moment when
we cease to be prisoners of the world
and begin to take responsibility for our
own destiny. Knowing that life is a
dialogue between the conscious and the
unconscious, between our essence and all
that still seeks integration. Longing is
also part of this. Missing someone is
human. But Jung warned, "Longing does
not automatically mean that we need this
person back in our lives. Often it is
only the activation of a complex, an
emotional memory that has not yet been
processed. This complex appears as
nostalgia, as emptiness or as intense
remembering without requiring us to
return to the past. Longing is a mirror.
It shows us what is not yet in balance
within us. Jung did not see complexes
only as obstacles but also as
opportunities for growth when we bring
them into awareness. Longing can
therefore become an invitation to
understand ourselves better. It is not a
sign of weakness or dependency but part
of the inner work. In practice it
appears like this. We think of an old
relationship feel a sting in the heart.
But that does not mean we must go back.
We recall a lost friendship, wish for
closeness again. But perhaps it is
really about strengthening our own
ability to comfort and to understand
ourselves. The gaze into the past then
becomes an inner mirror. Silent
forgiveness and quiet withdrawal are
sometimes the most powerful steps. Yung
emphasized, "The psyche seeks
integration, and often the most
effective path is not confrontation or
explanation, but conscious silence."
Silence is not weakness but a decision,
a sign of self-respect.
To withdraw silently means no longer
allowing our energy to be consumed by
conflicts but directing it inward to
where it is needed. It means protecting
our inner space without drama, without explanation.
explanation.
Silence also dissolves resentment. When
we no longer feel the need to justify
every action or explain every decision,
anger and disappointment lose their power.
power.
To forgive silently does not mean to
forget or to deny. It means not pouring
energy into revenge or reproach, but
into our own growth. In this way, we
strengthen our inner boundary and create
space for the connections that truly
matter to find their natural order. In
the end, silence is a powerful ally in
the process of individuation. It shows
us that self-care and inner
transformation need no stage. True
growth often takes place in secret, in
the quiet space where the soul
reorganizes itself, learns, and become
stronger. To choose silence means to
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