0:08 [Music]
0:10 Hi everyone, I'm Dr. Peter Serno and
0:12 thank you so much for checking this
0:13 video out. When mental health
0:16 professionals talk about narcissism,
0:20 they often use the term false self. This
0:22 does present a problem because in
0:25 psychoanalysis, the false self isn't the
0:27 same thing as the fake self that
0:29 narcissists present. These two ideas
0:31 often get blended together, but they are
0:33 fundamentally different. And
0:34 understanding that difference changes
0:37 how we see narcissism entirely. I want
0:40 to be clear that this video is not in
0:43 any way meant to disparage or discredit
0:47 the value of classical theory. What it's
0:49 doing is expanding upon what we have
0:52 known and bridging the gap so that we
0:54 have a more comprehensive understanding
0:56 of narcissism. In classical
0:59 psychoanalytic theory, the false self
1:02 develops early in childhood as a
1:05 defense. A child's natural emotional
1:08 expressions might be rejected, punished,
1:11 or ignored. To survive emotionally, the
1:14 child adapts by hiding their authentic
1:16 needs, their authentic feelings, and
1:17 their authentic thoughts. They present
1:20 as a compliant, socially acceptable
1:23 version of themselves, the false self,
1:25 to avoid conflict or abandonment.
1:28 Importantly, the false self is not
1:31 inherently pathological. Many people
1:33 discover later in life that they have
1:35 been living from the perspective of a
1:38 false self shaped by adversity.
1:40 Recognizing and working through this
1:43 pattern can be deeply healing.
1:44 Therapists help these individuals
1:47 reclaim their authentic voice and their
1:49 authentic needs. But having a false self
1:52 does not make somebody a narcissist.
1:54 Most people who develop a false self
1:58 still maintain empathy, reciprocity, and
2:00 a genuine concern for others. In the
2:03 traditional view, narcissism is
2:06 conceptualized as an environmentally
2:09 determined developmental process. The
2:11 idea is that children are passive
2:14 recipients of bad parenting or adversity
2:16 without their own unique predispositions
2:19 or intrinsic differences. All children
2:21 react to adverse conditions with shame,
2:24 self-loathing, low self-esteem, anxiety,
2:27 inner turmoil, or even suicidal
2:31 thoughts. Then over time, these defenses
2:33 become personality structure.
2:35 Biological factors or genetic
2:38 susceptibilities are downplayed or
2:41 inherent traits are considered noncore
2:45 to personality disorders. So again, this
2:47 is a wonderfully helpful theory when it
2:50 comes to adversity. However, making the
2:52 claim that adversity in and of itself
2:56 can predict a particular outcome in all
2:59 children is simply mistaken. It's
3:02 incorrect. From a more contemporary
3:04 research-based perspective, the fake
3:07 self of a narcissist is not a mask for
3:10 hidden shame and fragility because their
3:12 personality traits are largely
3:14 temperamentbased and heritable.
3:17 Narcissism is about excessive investment
3:21 in one's image at the expense of an
3:23 authentic self. But here's the key
3:25 difference. The image a narcissist
3:28 projects is one they create, they
3:31 determine, and they value. It is not an
3:33 imposed identity they were forced to
3:35 adopt due to early adversity. This is
3:38 fundamentally different from a false
3:40 self of a person shaped by hardship.
3:43 Many neurotic individuals, those who
3:45 experience discomfort and internal
3:47 conflict, may present themselves in ways
3:49 that are designed to gain acceptance.
3:52 They often have a conscience, higher
3:54 agreeableness, and a strong desire to
3:56 please, accommodate, and earn
3:58 validation. Their false self comes from
4:01 a yearning for authenticity and a
4:03 collaborative spirit in relationships.
4:05 Wouldn't that actually be pretty great
4:06 if that's what we were dealing with in a
4:09 narcissist? A narcissist's fake self
4:11 works differently. It's a persona they
4:13 want, one that helps them control how
4:15 others perceive them, and ensures the
4:18 impression they leave, aligns with their
4:20 self-importance. They don't want to give
4:22 it up because it works for them. While
4:25 there can be overlap between false and
4:27 fake selves, the false self seeks
4:30 genuine connection. The fake self seeks
4:33 to maintain dominance and admiration.
4:35 The false self theory treats narcissism
4:38 as an injury, something that could in
4:40 theory be healed by uncovering the
4:43 hidden true self. The fake self view
4:45 sees narcissism as an expression of
4:48 personality structure, deeply ingrained
4:51 traits shaped by genetics and certainly
4:53 influenced by the environment, but not
4:55 caused by adversity alone. Research
4:59 tells us no specific parenting style
5:02 predicts NPD. Irritability estimates for
5:05 narcissistic personality disorder range
5:09 from about 40% to as high as 79%
5:11 depending on study design. At the higher
5:13 end, twin studies of clinically
5:17 diagnosed NPD report genetic influence
5:20 between 71% and 79%
5:22 making it one of the most strongly
5:25 heritable personality disorders. Even
5:27 the lower estimates, often based on
5:29 broader narcissistic traits in the
5:32 general population, are in the 40% to
5:36 60% range, comparable to or exceeding
5:39 heritability estimates for many medical
5:41 conditions considered highly genetic,
5:44 such as type 1 diabetes. One argument is
5:47 that inheriting traits like boldness,
5:49 disagreeableness, and antagonism, is not
5:51 the same as developing a complex
5:53 disorder. However, when these traits
5:56 cluster and persist over time, they do
5:59 form the rigid maladaptive patterns that
6:01 are seen in NPD. We are talking about
6:03 inherent traits that are stable and
6:05 persistent across the lifespan. So,
6:07 here's the bottom line. The false self
6:10 in psychoanalytic theory is a defensive
6:12 mask covering vulnerability formed
6:14 through early adversity. It's important
6:16 for personal insight and growth, but
6:18 it's not synonymous with what we know
6:20 narcissism to be. Although many
6:22 psychoanalysts will still use that to
6:25 explain what pathological narcissism is.
6:27 Then we have the fake self of the
6:30 narcissist. A self-created valued
6:33 persona used to control perception and
6:36 secure admiration with no interest in
6:38 surrendering it for authenticity.
6:40 Confusing these two leads to
6:43 misunderstandings and often misplaced
6:45 sympathy for narcissistic behavior.
6:47 Recognizing this difference helps us
6:50 avoid outdated, untestable theories so
6:53 we can focus on the actual measurable
6:55 traits that define narcissistic
6:57 personalities. I hope you found this
6:59 breakdown helpful. I would love to
7:00 continue the discussion in the comments
7:03 section. Please be respectful in the
7:05 comments. There are ways to disagree
7:06 with everything I've said while still
7:08 being collaborative and respectful. I
7:10 would also encourage you for further
7:12 reading to check out my book, The Nature
7:14 and Nurture of Narcissism, if you are
7:16 interested in this topic. And please
7:17 consider watching other videos on this
7:20 channel. Thank you very much. I'm Dr.
7:22 Peter Serno and I will hopefully see you
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