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FALSE SELF OR FAKE SELF? NARCISSISM'S MASK EXPLAINED
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Hi everyone, I'm Dr. Peter Serno and
thank you so much for checking this
video out. When mental health
professionals talk about narcissism,
they often use the term false self. This
does present a problem because in
psychoanalysis, the false self isn't the
same thing as the fake self that
narcissists present. These two ideas
often get blended together, but they are
fundamentally different. And
understanding that difference changes
how we see narcissism entirely. I want
to be clear that this video is not in
any way meant to disparage or discredit
the value of classical theory. What it's
doing is expanding upon what we have
known and bridging the gap so that we
have a more comprehensive understanding
of narcissism. In classical
psychoanalytic theory, the false self
develops early in childhood as a
defense. A child's natural emotional
expressions might be rejected, punished,
or ignored. To survive emotionally, the
child adapts by hiding their authentic
needs, their authentic feelings, and
their authentic thoughts. They present
as a compliant, socially acceptable
version of themselves, the false self,
to avoid conflict or abandonment.
Importantly, the false self is not
inherently pathological. Many people
discover later in life that they have
been living from the perspective of a
false self shaped by adversity.
Recognizing and working through this
pattern can be deeply healing.
Therapists help these individuals
reclaim their authentic voice and their
authentic needs. But having a false self
does not make somebody a narcissist.
Most people who develop a false self
still maintain empathy, reciprocity, and
a genuine concern for others. In the
traditional view, narcissism is
conceptualized as an environmentally
determined developmental process. The
idea is that children are passive
recipients of bad parenting or adversity
without their own unique predispositions
or intrinsic differences. All children
react to adverse conditions with shame,
self-loathing, low self-esteem, anxiety,
inner turmoil, or even suicidal
thoughts. Then over time, these defenses
become personality structure.
Biological factors or genetic
susceptibilities are downplayed or
inherent traits are considered noncore
to personality disorders. So again, this
is a wonderfully helpful theory when it
comes to adversity. However, making the
claim that adversity in and of itself
can predict a particular outcome in all
children is simply mistaken. It's
incorrect. From a more contemporary
research-based perspective, the fake
self of a narcissist is not a mask for
hidden shame and fragility because their
personality traits are largely
temperamentbased and heritable.
Narcissism is about excessive investment
in one's image at the expense of an
authentic self. But here's the key
difference. The image a narcissist
projects is one they create, they
determine, and they value. It is not an
imposed identity they were forced to
adopt due to early adversity. This is
fundamentally different from a false
self of a person shaped by hardship.
Many neurotic individuals, those who
experience discomfort and internal
conflict, may present themselves in ways
that are designed to gain acceptance.
They often have a conscience, higher
agreeableness, and a strong desire to
please, accommodate, and earn
validation. Their false self comes from
a yearning for authenticity and a
collaborative spirit in relationships.
Wouldn't that actually be pretty great
if that's what we were dealing with in a
narcissist? A narcissist's fake self
works differently. It's a persona they
want, one that helps them control how
others perceive them, and ensures the
impression they leave, aligns with their
self-importance. They don't want to give
it up because it works for them. While
there can be overlap between false and
fake selves, the false self seeks
genuine connection. The fake self seeks
to maintain dominance and admiration.
The false self theory treats narcissism
as an injury, something that could in
theory be healed by uncovering the
hidden true self. The fake self view
sees narcissism as an expression of
personality structure, deeply ingrained
traits shaped by genetics and certainly
influenced by the environment, but not
caused by adversity alone. Research
tells us no specific parenting style
predicts NPD. Irritability estimates for
narcissistic personality disorder range
from about 40% to as high as 79%
depending on study design. At the higher
end, twin studies of clinically
diagnosed NPD report genetic influence
between 71% and 79%
making it one of the most strongly
heritable personality disorders. Even
the lower estimates, often based on
broader narcissistic traits in the
general population, are in the 40% to
60% range, comparable to or exceeding
heritability estimates for many medical
conditions considered highly genetic,
such as type 1 diabetes. One argument is
that inheriting traits like boldness,
disagreeableness, and antagonism, is not
the same as developing a complex
disorder. However, when these traits
cluster and persist over time, they do
form the rigid maladaptive patterns that
are seen in NPD. We are talking about
inherent traits that are stable and
persistent across the lifespan. So,
here's the bottom line. The false self
in psychoanalytic theory is a defensive
mask covering vulnerability formed
through early adversity. It's important
for personal insight and growth, but
it's not synonymous with what we know
narcissism to be. Although many
psychoanalysts will still use that to
explain what pathological narcissism is.
Then we have the fake self of the
narcissist. A self-created valued
persona used to control perception and
secure admiration with no interest in
surrendering it for authenticity.
Confusing these two leads to
misunderstandings and often misplaced
sympathy for narcissistic behavior.
Recognizing this difference helps us
avoid outdated, untestable theories so
we can focus on the actual measurable
traits that define narcissistic
personalities. I hope you found this
breakdown helpful. I would love to
continue the discussion in the comments
section. Please be respectful in the
comments. There are ways to disagree
with everything I've said while still
being collaborative and respectful. I
would also encourage you for further
reading to check out my book, The Nature
and Nurture of Narcissism, if you are
interested in this topic. And please
consider watching other videos on this
channel. Thank you very much. I'm Dr.
Peter Serno and I will hopefully see you
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