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EP#10 - HE LEFT ME AGAIN! PROCESSING THE LOSS OF ESTRANGED PARENTS | MUM'S TRUE TEA PODCAST | Mum's True Tea | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: EP#10 - HE LEFT ME AGAIN! PROCESSING THE LOSS OF ESTRANGED PARENTS | MUM'S TRUE TEA PODCAST
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welcome to Mom's true tea the podcast
where moms can spill the true tea on
various stop provoking topics and
challenge beliefs about motherhood and
life authentically unapologetically and
without judgment I'm your host Kendall leay
leay [Music]
[Music]
Williams today's episode um of Mony is
about processing the loss of of an
already a strange parent like how do you
process the loss of an already a
stranged parent I was driving to my
office the other day it was actually the
day after Father's Day and listening to
the radio as I always do and I'm
listening to the host and he's sharing
how he had an amazing Father's Day and
how his children had surprised him and
his nieces and nephews and how they just
all gathered around and had food and fun
and just really had a great time and it
triggered my
emotions and made me think of my dad my
emotions were based on the fact that I
don't remember ever really getting the
chance to celebrate him on Father's Day
you know my dad was a strange for
majority of my life like life due to my
parents being divorced and he battled
with drug addiction for a long long time
and he was incarcerated also for the
majority of my teen years up into my
adulthood he actually passed in prison in
in
2014 and then I realized that I would
never be able to celebrate him because
he's passed away
now it made me feel sad
that there would be no Father's Day
cards or buying ugly ties that he
probably would never wear there would be
no dinners there would be no
celebrations or even me just being able
to pick up the phone to give him a call
and say Happy Father's Day and I didn't
realize until that very moment how much
I missed having a dad in my life
since the anniversary date of my dad
back in April he has for some reason
been heavily on my mind and on my heart
maybe he's trying to communicate with me
and even more after doing the episode on
finding Grace for our parents if you
haven't listened to the episode I
encourage you to do
so sometimes it's hard to understand and
why or how you could mourn someone who
wasn't really present for you in your
life that person that missed important
Milestones or important moments in your
life like
graduation like getting married like
having your first child and it's difficult
difficult
to express the emptiness or pain you
feel when that already a strange parent
is no longer present in your life
already from the abandonment perspective
but now that parent is gone for good
because they've passed away it's
actually like being abandoned twice and
when I talk to others who have lost a
parent I sometimes feel guilty like I
can't share my
emotions or the void or s that I feel
because their dads were present in their
lives and they had these amazing
relationships with their Dads but then I
had to think like it's still a loss of a
parent whether they are strange or
whether they have been present or not
this is still someone who you already
didn't have in your life and now they're
gone so there's no space to amend or
space for them to actually be a part of
your life because they're
gone and it doesn't negate how your
heart could still hurt because of the
loss of that parent like I know once a
parent has abandoned us we go through
our lives and we try to either push down
the emotions affiliated with that or we
try to navigate it in a way that we just
go through our lives like okay this
person isn't present I have to keep it
moving and people handle abandonment in
different ways it's either you're the
person that's going to keep it moving
like me or you're that person that it
really really affects you and it has
trickled into your adult life and I
think it has to some degree from the abandonment
abandonment
perspective however again a loss is a
loss my I drive that morning it came
with this overwhelming wave of emotions
I cried in on that entire Drive I cried
my makeup off actually but one thing
that did come from that drive was my
opportunity to talk to my dad trusting
that he heard me and that he saw my
tears that he felt my broken
heart I wished him a happy Father's Day
I told him again that I forgave him for
not being present and that I wish that I
understood more outside of the addiction
why he couldn't be present but that I
loved him and I trust that he was
finally free that he was happy and that
he had peace where ever he is I told him
that although he wasn't present much
when he was living that I trust that
he's with me now that he's watching over
me and protecting me like I always
wanted as a little girl and that he was
standing on business about his baby
girl you know to those of you who share
a similar story of being AR Strang from
a parent or feeling abandonment from a
parent and now that parent has passed
away I want you to know that it's okay
to feel that lingering emptiness to
allow yourself the space to grieve to
process those complex emotions but also
to work on your healing remember our
parents are still watching over us I
have to believe that they see us now
they see those milestones and those
moments that are amazing to us that we
think in our minds during the time that
we wish they were present they are so
take comfort in that thought and give
yourself the grace that you deserve
thank you so much for tuning in I'm so
blessed to have a community where I can
show up as my most authentic stuff
because I don't know what else to be
don't forget to favorite the show leave
a review And subscribe to the podcast on
your favorite streaming platforms to
stay up to date on new episodes
subscribe to my newsletter at moms true
t.com follow us on all socials at M Ms T
Ru t e a and be sure to share and stay
tuned for more thought provoking topics
and real talk on Mom's Che te with
Kendall leay until next time remember
you need you just as much as anyone else
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