0:00 If you knew exactly what they think when
0:02 you stop caring, you would be focusing
0:04 most of your energy on learning how to
0:06 control your emotions. Rather than
0:09 trying to seduce them, you would focus
0:11 on creating a system in your life that
0:14 allows you to manage intense emotions.
0:17 Because the truth is is that your
0:19 serenity, your detachment, your
0:22 happiness is what does the dirty work
0:24 for you. Your tranquility, your
0:28 non-reactivity, your non botheredness is
0:32 what does the dirty work is what does
0:34 the game. A lot of people say, you know,
0:36 how what how do I how do I get them to
0:37 like me? What's that move? Truth is,
0:40 it's not about what you do. It's
0:41 literally about what you don't do. And
0:43 it's really about lowering your
0:44 reactions, not getting so easily
0:47 triggered. This is why in our lives,
0:48 most of the people that have liked us,
0:50 we didn't like them back, right? And we
0:52 asked ourselves, what the [ __ ] did we do
0:53 to get them to like us? Well, because
0:55 you have a certain way that you behave
0:56 when you don't care about people that
0:59 it's really charismatic and you're just
1:01 not you're just not aware of it, right?
1:03 And well, you don't and also you don't
1:04 you may not notice how creepy and needy
1:06 you act when you like someone. And you
1:08 might think it's like some magical thing
1:10 because it is one of the weirdest things
1:11 in in in human nature that those who
1:14 don't want us want us. And though when
1:16 we don't when we when we don't like
1:19 them, they like us. And as soon as we
1:21 start liking them, they don't. like it
1:22 feels like God is legit like playing
1:25 with us. But this is something that's
1:27 actually very normal and very something
1:30 that you could explain and something
1:31 that you can replicate. But the key is
1:34 to understand that it's not about doing
1:36 more to do this like that. That that's
1:39 really the difference when when when you
1:40 like someone, you think you got to do so
1:42 much more to impress them. People's
1:43 self-esteem is much lower than you
1:45 think. And they look and they'll fall in
1:47 love with you for the littlest of
1:48 things. And because their their their
1:50 self-esteem is so low, when you do a
1:52 lot, it'll turn them off because they
1:54 don't think they're worthy of all of
1:56 that. It's the weirdest thing. That's
1:58 why this is so important. But this
2:00 video, we're going to talk about the
2:02 neuroscience psychologically in the
2:05 brain, what they think when you stop
2:08 caring, right? Because like I said, if
2:10 you if you could look inside of their
2:11 brain, I mean, I'm not kidding. You
2:13 would literally have all the confidence
2:14 in the world because you'll say they're
2:16 more they're very similar to me. I
2:18 thought I was the only needy and creepy
2:20 one. I thought I was the only one that
2:22 felt completely nervous and anxious all
2:24 the time. Well, guess what? They also
2:26 feel that anxiety. The problem is that a
2:28 lot of people put up a mask, a veneer of
2:30 confidence that cracks under pressure.
2:32 And just a little bit of pressure will
2:34 make that veneer crack. The problem is
2:36 that when we really like someone, we go
2:39 out of our ways to make them feel good.
2:41 We go out of our ways to not get them to
2:44 feel um um um insecurity. And so you
2:46 never see that veneer crack because
2:48 because you're so needy and creepy. You
2:50 never let them feel insecurity. You
2:52 never let them sense your absence. You
2:54 never let them see your dark side. You
2:56 never you never allow you never allow
2:58 natural conflicts to arise in the
3:00 relationship. Not Bronx mode, but
3:02 natural conflict. Right? These are all
3:04 things that allows you to see the cracks
3:06 through those veneers. And I always want
3:09 you to understand we are more similar to
3:11 the to each other than different. Okay?
3:13 So, so e even even if you think that
3:16 this person is highly confident, I could
3:18 promise you most likely that they're not
3:20 and there's cracks and I'm going to show
3:22 you exactly what to think when you stop
3:23 caring, right? Because we've seen this
3:24 before, right? Um or you're dating
3:27 someone and and everything's good and
3:29 and and they have power over you. As
3:31 soon as you break up with them, you'll
3:32 notice that they they may even start
3:34 begging or even that job that you think
3:36 that they don't need you, as soon as you
3:37 quit, they start calling you back and
3:39 say, "Hey, I will give you more money."
3:41 A lot of us have seen the power and
3:43 leverage and leaving and walking away
3:46 that and and that when when you first
3:48 see it, it's kind of shocking, right? It
3:50 it really is kind of shocking when you
3:51 first see it, right? Um so it's almost
3:53 like, yeah, let me not even go into
3:55 that, right? Anyways, if you guys want
3:56 to work with me oneonone, go to
3:57 mindfulattraction.org. Um and there
3:59 you'll be able to book a one-on-one
4:00 phone call with me. If you if you care
4:02 too much and you want to learn how to
4:04 let go, well, join our Patreon there. We
4:07 have a a meditation club where we
4:08 meditate on a weekly basis on Zoom. Um
4:10 in in that meditation club, I have a
4:12 bunch of different um videos that I that
4:14 I upload only on Patreon. And if you if
4:17 you don't want to um join Patreon, then
4:19 become a member and we upload some of
4:21 those some of those videos here by just
4:23 becoming a $5 member, right? You can
4:25 click on the description down below
4:26 where it says join the Patreon or become
4:28 a member and you can get exclusive
4:30 content. Do that now or else I'm closing
4:33 the channel. So the first thing is this,
4:34 okay? is that when you let go of them,
4:38 when you manage to let go, what you're
4:39 actually doing is that you're
4:41 traumatizing them. It tra it's it's a
4:44 letting go is traumatizing to humans,
4:46 right? If you think about it, the most
4:48 painful memories came from letting go,
4:50 right? I remember when I was a kid, I
4:52 I've never said this, but the most
4:53 painful memory I have was my mom leaving
4:56 me when I was a kid. I was in Dominican
4:58 Republic and she had to go to New York
5:00 City to work. I was I was with my
5:02 grandma and my sister and I remember
5:04 when she left I remember running running
5:07 running at the car and I had a flower in
5:09 my hand and then when I saw the car just
5:12 get far away I remember running into my
5:14 closet and just crying there. I had a
5:17 little white flower, right? Um when when
5:19 when people let you go, when you feel
5:21 like you're losing someone as as a
5:24 human, every human is is traumatized by
5:27 that. All right. And and the beauty
5:29 about it, not to me when I was a kid,
5:30 right? But the beauty about it is that
5:34 is that it engages their
5:39 fight or flight part of their brain.
5:43 What I mean by that is this. Let's put
5:45 this right here so that it doesn't cuz
5:47 it seems like it's making me darker.
5:49 Little racist camera. Um it it engages
5:53 the amydala which is perfect. Right.
5:55 When you let go, what happens when you
5:58 when the amydala gets engaged is that it
6:00 actually hijacks your frontal
6:03 cortex, right? It literally hijacks your
6:05 frontal cortex. It it almost blocks
6:07 [ __ ] it blocks your capacity to use
6:10 your frontal cortex with rationality.
6:13 And this is where people make all of the
6:15 mistakes, right? This is where people
6:18 get start acting super needy. This is
6:20 where people that very same person who
6:22 you thought was confident all of a
6:24 sudden doesn't feel confident. All of a
6:27 sudden that person that feels completely
6:29 stable, you see stab instability. The
6:31 problem is that we just don't know how
6:32 to read people right. That's the issue.
6:35 Like we as what the [ __ ] was that? We as
6:38 humans, we as humans, we're not good at
6:40 interpreting weakness because usually we
6:43 just get stuck in the surface level of
6:45 things. If you learn how to peel back
6:47 and and and read people, you might
6:49 notice that that person who you thought
6:50 was confident was always drinking. That
6:52 person who you thought was confident was
6:54 always shaking their leg. That person
6:56 who you thought was confident and their
6:58 place is super neat and things need to
7:00 be in a certain place. All of those
7:02 things leak out in security, right? It
7:05 leaks out disorder on the inside, but we
7:08 don't notice it because we rather look
7:10 at the external behavior that doesn't
7:13 take a lot of effort. But the truth is
7:15 is like for example if I'm dating a girl
7:16 and she and we had a great date but then
7:18 I never hear from her again right you I
7:20 might say oh she doesn't like me but
7:21 also I might say that maybe she's the
7:23 type of person that lacks
7:25 intimacy right which usually means a
7:27 lack of disconnection with yourself
7:29 which also means a lack of connection
7:30 with the family which also means that
7:33 maybe they just they didn't have
7:34 emotional support as growing up and
7:36 these things stay right but if you're in
7:39 an insecure state you're always going to
7:40 blame yourself and say oh they're
7:42 confident and I'm not when in reality
7:43 No, a lot of the times the people who
7:45 are avoidant, they lack
7:47 confident. They they just lack it,
7:50 right? So it engages the amydala which
7:52 propels them to make mistakes. The the
7:54 frontal cortex goes out the window,
7:56 right? Because why is that? Well,
7:58 because in their minds the impossible
8:02 happened, right? The impossible
8:05 happened. What do I mean by that?
8:06 Meaning when you are super needy and
8:08 creepy, people assume you're never going
8:10 to leave
8:11 them, right? They assume that you're
8:13 never gonna leave them. That that that's
8:15 just how the brain works. The reason why
8:17 the brain does that is because of fear
8:19 of death, right? We're unconsciously
8:21 afraid of death. And if we then um one
8:24 of the ego strategy to deal with the
8:26 pain of with the fear of death is to
8:28 assume that everything will stay the
8:30 same
8:30 forever. We don't predict we don't
8:33 predict change, right? We we we hold on
8:36 to change. That's why addicts are big
8:39 fans of stability because what they want
8:42 to keep the most is the high. But then
8:44 they're confronted with reality and that
8:45 every high arises and passes away. And
8:48 so the deni and so and so they'll use
8:50 more drugs in the denial of that
8:53 reality. This unexpected unexpectedness,
8:56 the fact that they think that you're
8:57 always going to be that you're never
8:59 going to let go, that you're never going
9:00 to move on. When you finally do it, it's
9:03 like a punch you didn't see
9:05 coming, right? It's a punch you didn't
9:07 see coming. And that and usually the
9:10 punches that knock you the [ __ ] out are
9:12 the things that you don't see coming.
9:14 And this is why accepting death,
9:16 accepting the reality that things are
9:17 going to end causes you that if they do
9:20 walk away, if you if they do let go, it
9:22 insulates you from doing needy, creepy
9:24 stuff. It does. All right. But if you're
9:27 the type of person that cares too much
9:30 and you want to learn how to let go,
9:32 well, I have a little commercial for you
9:35 at this in in this in this part of the
9:36 video. Let's watch it. Are you needy and
9:39 creepy? Do you have a tough time coming
9:42 across confident when you like the
9:43 person? A lot of the times you just
9:46 don't know what to do. You have habits
9:48 and and and and and patterns that
9:50 whenever somebody triggers you, you
9:53 completely forget what to do the right
9:55 to do the right thing. Well, guess what?
9:57 I have a course for that and it's called
9:59 the psychological game of attraction,
10:01 natural chemistry, and the feminine
10:04 woman. What I call the fundamentals. All
10:07 of those courses are meant to eradicate
10:10 and exercise the needy, creepy parts in
10:12 you through action. Meaning, you do what
10:16 the videos say and without a shadow of a
10:18 doubt, you actually get the results.
10:21 You'll be able to you'll notice that
10:22 people that men call you back more. Men
10:25 will want more relationships with you.
10:27 They're going to be the ones that are
10:28 needy and creepy. They're going to be
10:30 the ones that want something. They're
10:32 going to be the ones that are the
10:33 aggressors in trying to get a
10:35 relationship out of you. But the problem
10:37 is that a lot of people just watch one
10:40 or two videos and completely forget that
10:43 there's actually a system. Don't just
10:45 watch one of one or two videos. get the
10:47 system either by purchasing all of them
10:49 and get a discount or purchase them
10:52 individually because a lot of times just
10:55 watching one video in
10:57 isolation you actually miss the big
10:59 picture. You have to understand why it
11:02 works. You have to understand what to do
11:04 next. And a lot of times my videos just
11:06 can't address that. A lot of people,
11:09 you'll see by the testimonies right
11:10 here, a lot of people have done what
11:12 those videos say and they've gotten
11:14 results. Like the other day I was in
11:17 Mexico and they were like, "Hey." And
11:18 I'm like, "Hey, oh my god, you watch
11:20 your videos are so great." And I'm like,
11:21 and she was like, "Look at my kid." I'm
11:23 like, "What you talking about your kid?
11:26 That's not my kid." She's like, "No, no,
11:27 no. Because of him, because of your
11:30 videos, he's here." And I'm like, "Okay,
11:33 all right. That's
11:35 a But I get that a lot." And ironically,
11:38 there's that woman watches all of my
11:40 videos, right? So, purchase that those
11:43 courses, man. And if you don't like it,
11:45 you actually could get a a 30-day money
11:47 back guarantee, right? Purchase them
11:49 individually or get a discount and
11:52 purchase them all by clicking on the
11:53 description down below. You have the
11:55 option of purchasing the one with the
11:57 bonuses that comes that obviously it's
11:59 more material where it's like I give you
12:02 guys meditations. There's also other
12:04 courses on how to make friends, how to
12:06 master anything or you could purchase it
12:08 without the bundle which is much more
12:10 affordable. All right. And with that,
12:12 you guys are able to support my channel,
12:14 which will allow me to make more videos.
12:16 Okay, anyways, see you guys inside and
12:18 thank
12:19 you. You see, so another aspect of
12:22 caring, a lot of the times, one of the
12:24 ways that manipulators get us to care
12:26 too much is that they get us to want to
12:29 change
12:33 them. So they'll present their flaws as
12:35 a
12:36 victim and you naturally times will try
12:39 to change them. All right. Um, a lot of
12:42 the times that's really manipulation.
12:44 People use their flaws as a way to get
12:46 you to care. Usually narcissists with
12:48 empaths, right? I'm like that, right?
12:50 I'll get attached if you have problems.
12:52 I'll get attached if if there's
12:54 something wrong. I want to help. That's
12:55 why I'm pretty good at I'm pretty good
12:56 at what I do with with YouTube because
12:58 people who watch need help and I like
13:00 helping you guys, right? But this desire
13:03 to change people for the better with our
13:05 will, with our goodness, with what we
13:07 know is something that validates the
13:09 ego. And manipulators can sense
13:12 that when you stop caring, when you say,
13:15 you know what, I'm not trying to change
13:16 you. You do crack. I'm trying to help.
13:19 I'm not going to try to change you. What
13:21 they'll notice is that they lose that
13:23 validation that comes from you carrying,
13:26 right? And what they'll do then is that
13:28 they'll try to act even more chaotic.
13:30 though they'll act like a lot that you
13:32 know that's that's your sign right there
13:33 that this person is toxic man. Um that's
13:35 why you can't try to change you can't
13:37 change people. Don't try to change
13:38 people. The next thing is that the
13:40 chronic stress caused by the
13:45 misinterpretation of
13:48 memory. The stress of you letting go.
13:50 You got to understand people can sense
13:51 that like it's pretty if if you if you
13:54 ever dated someone that if you ever
13:56 dated someone and you stop caring like
13:58 people who we date they could tell when
14:00 we're we're like emotionally distant
14:02 they can kind of tell or they
14:05 like something off with you um Tinquisha
14:09 it look a little off you know like
14:12 people can kind of tell and and and that
14:15 and and that realization that there's
14:17 something off creates stress Yes. Right.
14:20 Especially if you if they feel like
14:21 you're pulling away. The beauty about
14:24 that is that it affects their memory.
14:26 Meaning, if you were needy and creepy
14:29 and you stopped caring, their memories
14:32 will misinterpret your needy creepy
14:34 energy with you were with you being
14:36 confident or I or or with a desire to to
14:40 to to hug and and nurture that needy
14:43 creepy side of yours, right? Um, and so
14:47 it it'll it'll and also the way they see
14:49 you in their minds when you're not
14:51 there, it literally creates like a
14:53 mental what I like to call a mental
14:57 photoshop where your smile looks
14:59 prettier, your teeth are more
15:00 straightened, right? Everything about
15:02 you gets photoshopped in their minds
15:04 because of the
15:06 stress, right? So their working memories
15:09 will get [ __ ] and their decision-
15:10 making will get [ __ ] And that's when
15:13 you will see that animal side, that
15:14 creepy animal side where they can't
15:16 control themselves. It might even cause
15:18 you to lose respect for
15:19 them. And this is my favorite part is
15:22 that the brain goes to a goes into a
15:29 nostalgia nostalgia
15:32 mode. What do I mean by nostalgia mode?
15:35 Meaning it's the misinterpretation of
15:38 the memories but also enhancement. And
15:40 it might it and not just that it it
15:43 lingers on for months. It depends on
15:47 their trauma but it lingers for a long
15:49 time. Um usually people like this people
15:52 who this works on the most are people
15:54 who are very romantic who are very
15:57 unhappy
15:59 um with their current lives because then
16:01 they'll the only way they relieve stress
16:04 is to think about how better think about
16:06 another moment in time where their life
16:08 was better. And if you were in there,
16:10 their their brain will literally
16:13 misinterpret those events and it'll
16:15 create a filter. What's a nostalgia
16:17 filter? Well, literally like
16:20 just like the the the [ __ ] I remember I
16:24 made a video about that the nostalgia
16:26 filter. But that it happens over time,
16:28 right? um if they if they struggle
16:31 processing emotion, it's like an
16:33 automatic thing like the the when you're
16:35 unhappy with the present moment, the
16:37 brain just brings up memories and
16:39 misinterprets them to to to make you
16:41 feel happier. It's it's truly a
16:43 beautiful thing because it uses that as
16:45 temporary coping mechanisms when
16:47 situations are bad. That's why in the in
16:50 the book um a man's search for meaning
16:53 the brain even if the situation is
16:55 hopeless the
16:57 brain little ant the brain will
17:00 literally get create hope out of
17:01 hopeless situations it'll literally
17:03 create hope and and that's but the brain
17:05 also does that with the past that it
17:08 amplifies past experiences if you're not
17:11 happy with the present moment if you're
17:13 happy with the if you're not happy with
17:14 the present moment it'll exaggerate
17:16 possible possibilities in the future
17:18 Right? And that's usually what happens a
17:20 lot when you're falling in love with
17:22 someone. They're acting disinterested,
17:24 but because you feel so insecure, you're
17:26 very hopeful that things will work out
17:30 despite frontal cortex, despite the
17:33 evidence that says
17:35 otherwise, right? People do that out of
17:40 desperation. They'll do that as their
17:42 last result, as their Hail Mary. So, in
17:45 the face of the
17:46 nostalgia, they'll start to make
17:49 mistakes. They'll start to act needy and
17:52 creepy. And usually, I prefer that you
17:54 do this. I would prefer that you
17:56 communicate that you don't care, that
17:57 you that you stop caring through your
17:59 non-verbal cues. You know, it's even
18:01 more [ __ ] up when you say you do care
18:03 and then you're and then you nonverbally
18:04 show you don't. Oh my lord. Cuz people
18:07 like consistency. And then they'll
18:09 they'll they'll do things to get some
18:12 consistent some they'll do things to get
18:14 validation out of you, right? They're
18:15 like, "Oh, they're act they say they
18:17 like me, but they're they're not showing
18:18 it. What? Let me do something to elicit
18:21 that response." And you might say,
18:23 "Damn, this person is acting really
18:24 interested and I'm acting cold." Well,
18:25 it's because they're misinterpreting
18:27 things. They're not in reality. They
18:29 their brains have been I hijacked.
18:31 They're in a state of stress. Their me
18:33 their working memory, they can't they
18:36 can't trust their working memory, right?
18:38 um and their decision- making is [ __ ]
18:40 And when they think of you, they don't
18:41 even think about you. They think about
18:42 the the the the mindmade version that
18:45 emanated that that was created from a
18:47 place of insecurity. Truly, it is a
18:49 powerful thing, man.
18:51 Um usually this is something that you
18:54 want to do um through you developing a
18:56 meditation practice. By you developing a
18:58 meditation practice, naturally you're
19:00 just going to come across as more
19:01 peaceful. Um, and when you do that,
19:05 people don't sense coldness from you,
19:07 but they sense that you're able to let
19:09 go of them if things don't work
19:12 out. That pisses off the ego to know
19:15 that you're going to be happy after
19:17 we're done. That you're going to talk to
19:19 your [ __ ] therapist and and do things
19:22 to make you happy out without me being
19:24 there. Cuz a lot of times the love they
19:26 feel for you a lot of times is ego.
19:28 Like, I don't want you to be happy
19:29 without me. That's not real love. That's
19:32 just a person who thinks that they love
19:34 you when in reality they just want to
19:36 control
19:36 you. All right, I should make a video
19:38 about that. If you guys want to want me
19:40 to make a video about that they don't
19:41 really love you, they just want to
19:42 control you. You just let me know in the
19:44 comment section down below and I'll do
19:45 that. Take care, guys.
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