YouTube Transcript:
How Men Think When You Stop Caring

If you knew exactly what they think when
you stop caring, you would be focusing
most of your energy on learning how to
control your emotions. Rather than
trying to seduce them, you would focus
on creating a system in your life that
allows you to manage intense emotions.
Because the truth is is that your
serenity, your detachment, your
happiness is what does the dirty work
for you. Your tranquility, your
non-reactivity, your non botheredness is
what does the dirty work is what does
the game. A lot of people say, you know,
how what how do I how do I get them to
like me? What's that move? Truth is,
it's not about what you do. It's
literally about what you don't do. And
it's really about lowering your
reactions, not getting so easily
triggered. This is why in our lives,
most of the people that have liked us,
we didn't like them back, right? And we
asked ourselves, what the [ __ ] did we do
to get them to like us? Well, because
you have a certain way that you behave
when you don't care about people that
it's really charismatic and you're just
not you're just not aware of it, right?
And well, you don't and also you don't
you may not notice how creepy and needy
you act when you like someone. And you
might think it's like some magical thing
because it is one of the weirdest things
in in in human nature that those who
don't want us want us. And though when
we don't when we when we don't like
them, they like us. And as soon as we
start liking them, they don't. like it
feels like God is legit like playing
with us. But this is something that's
actually very normal and very something
that you could explain and something
that you can replicate. But the key is
to understand that it's not about doing
more to do this like that. That that's
really the difference when when when you
like someone, you think you got to do so
much more to impress them. People's
self-esteem is much lower than you
think. And they look and they'll fall in
love with you for the littlest of
things. And because their their their
self-esteem is so low, when you do a
lot, it'll turn them off because they
don't think they're worthy of all of
that. It's the weirdest thing. That's
why this is so important. But this
video, we're going to talk about the
neuroscience psychologically in the
brain, what they think when you stop
caring, right? Because like I said, if
you if you could look inside of their
brain, I mean, I'm not kidding. You
would literally have all the confidence
in the world because you'll say they're
more they're very similar to me. I
thought I was the only needy and creepy
one. I thought I was the only one that
felt completely nervous and anxious all
the time. Well, guess what? They also
feel that anxiety. The problem is that a
lot of people put up a mask, a veneer of
confidence that cracks under pressure.
And just a little bit of pressure will
make that veneer crack. The problem is
that when we really like someone, we go
out of our ways to make them feel good.
We go out of our ways to not get them to
feel um um um insecurity. And so you
never see that veneer crack because
because you're so needy and creepy. You
never let them feel insecurity. You
never let them sense your absence. You
never let them see your dark side. You
never you never allow you never allow
natural conflicts to arise in the
relationship. Not Bronx mode, but
natural conflict. Right? These are all
things that allows you to see the cracks
through those veneers. And I always want
you to understand we are more similar to
the to each other than different. Okay?
So, so e even even if you think that
this person is highly confident, I could
promise you most likely that they're not
and there's cracks and I'm going to show
you exactly what to think when you stop
caring, right? Because we've seen this
before, right? Um or you're dating
someone and and everything's good and
and and they have power over you. As
soon as you break up with them, you'll
notice that they they may even start
begging or even that job that you think
that they don't need you, as soon as you
quit, they start calling you back and
say, "Hey, I will give you more money."
A lot of us have seen the power and
leverage and leaving and walking away
that and and that when when you first
see it, it's kind of shocking, right? It
it really is kind of shocking when you
first see it, right? Um so it's almost
like, yeah, let me not even go into
that, right? Anyways, if you guys want
to work with me oneonone, go to
mindfulattraction.org. Um and there
you'll be able to book a one-on-one
phone call with me. If you if you care
too much and you want to learn how to
let go, well, join our Patreon there. We
have a a meditation club where we
meditate on a weekly basis on Zoom. Um
in in that meditation club, I have a
bunch of different um videos that I that
I upload only on Patreon. And if you if
you don't want to um join Patreon, then
become a member and we upload some of
those some of those videos here by just
becoming a $5 member, right? You can
click on the description down below
where it says join the Patreon or become
a member and you can get exclusive
content. Do that now or else I'm closing
the channel. So the first thing is this,
okay? is that when you let go of them,
when you manage to let go, what you're
actually doing is that you're
traumatizing them. It tra it's it's a
letting go is traumatizing to humans,
right? If you think about it, the most
painful memories came from letting go,
right? I remember when I was a kid, I
I've never said this, but the most
painful memory I have was my mom leaving
me when I was a kid. I was in Dominican
Republic and she had to go to New York
City to work. I was I was with my
grandma and my sister and I remember
when she left I remember running running
running at the car and I had a flower in
my hand and then when I saw the car just
get far away I remember running into my
closet and just crying there. I had a
little white flower, right? Um when when
when people let you go, when you feel
like you're losing someone as as a
human, every human is is traumatized by
that. All right. And and the beauty
about it, not to me when I was a kid,
right? But the beauty about it is that
is that it engages their
fight or flight part of their brain.
What I mean by that is this. Let's put
this right here so that it doesn't cuz
it seems like it's making me darker.
Little racist camera. Um it it engages
the amydala which is perfect. Right.
When you let go, what happens when you
when the amydala gets engaged is that it
actually hijacks your frontal
cortex, right? It literally hijacks your
frontal cortex. It it almost blocks
[ __ ] it blocks your capacity to use
your frontal cortex with rationality.
And this is where people make all of the
mistakes, right? This is where people
get start acting super needy. This is
where people that very same person who
you thought was confident all of a
sudden doesn't feel confident. All of a
sudden that person that feels completely
stable, you see stab instability. The
problem is that we just don't know how
to read people right. That's the issue.
Like we as what the [ __ ] was that? We as
humans, we as humans, we're not good at
interpreting weakness because usually we
just get stuck in the surface level of
things. If you learn how to peel back
and and and read people, you might
notice that that person who you thought
was confident was always drinking. That
person who you thought was confident was
always shaking their leg. That person
who you thought was confident and their
place is super neat and things need to
be in a certain place. All of those
things leak out in security, right? It
leaks out disorder on the inside, but we
don't notice it because we rather look
at the external behavior that doesn't
take a lot of effort. But the truth is
is like for example if I'm dating a girl
and she and we had a great date but then
I never hear from her again right you I
might say oh she doesn't like me but
also I might say that maybe she's the
type of person that lacks
intimacy right which usually means a
lack of disconnection with yourself
which also means a lack of connection
with the family which also means that
maybe they just they didn't have
emotional support as growing up and
these things stay right but if you're in
an insecure state you're always going to
blame yourself and say oh they're
confident and I'm not when in reality
No, a lot of the times the people who
are avoidant, they lack
confident. They they just lack it,
right? So it engages the amydala which
propels them to make mistakes. The the
frontal cortex goes out the window,
right? Because why is that? Well,
because in their minds the impossible
happened, right? The impossible
happened. What do I mean by that?
Meaning when you are super needy and
creepy, people assume you're never going
to leave
them, right? They assume that you're
never gonna leave them. That that that's
just how the brain works. The reason why
the brain does that is because of fear
of death, right? We're unconsciously
afraid of death. And if we then um one
of the ego strategy to deal with the
pain of with the fear of death is to
assume that everything will stay the
same
forever. We don't predict we don't
predict change, right? We we we hold on
to change. That's why addicts are big
fans of stability because what they want
to keep the most is the high. But then
they're confronted with reality and that
every high arises and passes away. And
so the deni and so and so they'll use
more drugs in the denial of that
reality. This unexpected unexpectedness,
the fact that they think that you're
always going to be that you're never
going to let go, that you're never going
to move on. When you finally do it, it's
like a punch you didn't see
coming, right? It's a punch you didn't
see coming. And that and usually the
punches that knock you the [ __ ] out are
the things that you don't see coming.
And this is why accepting death,
accepting the reality that things are
going to end causes you that if they do
walk away, if you if they do let go, it
insulates you from doing needy, creepy
stuff. It does. All right. But if you're
the type of person that cares too much
and you want to learn how to let go,
well, I have a little commercial for you
at this in in this in this part of the
video. Let's watch it. Are you needy and
creepy? Do you have a tough time coming
across confident when you like the
person? A lot of the times you just
don't know what to do. You have habits
and and and and and patterns that
whenever somebody triggers you, you
completely forget what to do the right
to do the right thing. Well, guess what?
I have a course for that and it's called
the psychological game of attraction,
natural chemistry, and the feminine
woman. What I call the fundamentals. All
of those courses are meant to eradicate
and exercise the needy, creepy parts in
you through action. Meaning, you do what
the videos say and without a shadow of a
doubt, you actually get the results.
You'll be able to you'll notice that
people that men call you back more. Men
will want more relationships with you.
They're going to be the ones that are
needy and creepy. They're going to be
the ones that want something. They're
going to be the ones that are the
aggressors in trying to get a
relationship out of you. But the problem
is that a lot of people just watch one
or two videos and completely forget that
there's actually a system. Don't just
watch one of one or two videos. get the
system either by purchasing all of them
and get a discount or purchase them
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watching one video in
isolation you actually miss the big
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you'll see by the testimonies right
here, a lot of people have done what
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results. Like the other day I was in
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I'm like, "Hey, oh my god, you watch
your videos are so great." And I'm like,
and she was like, "Look at my kid." I'm
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That's not my kid." She's like, "No, no,
no. Because of him, because of your
videos, he's here." And I'm like, "Okay,
all right. That's
a But I get that a lot." And ironically,
there's that woman watches all of my
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Okay, anyways, see you guys inside and
thank
you. You see, so another aspect of
caring, a lot of the times, one of the
ways that manipulators get us to care
too much is that they get us to want to
change
them. So they'll present their flaws as
a
victim and you naturally times will try
to change them. All right. Um, a lot of
the times that's really manipulation.
People use their flaws as a way to get
you to care. Usually narcissists with
empaths, right? I'm like that, right?
I'll get attached if you have problems.
I'll get attached if if there's
something wrong. I want to help. That's
why I'm pretty good at I'm pretty good
at what I do with with YouTube because
people who watch need help and I like
helping you guys, right? But this desire
to change people for the better with our
will, with our goodness, with what we
know is something that validates the
ego. And manipulators can sense
that when you stop caring, when you say,
you know what, I'm not trying to change
you. You do crack. I'm trying to help.
I'm not going to try to change you. What
they'll notice is that they lose that
validation that comes from you carrying,
right? And what they'll do then is that
they'll try to act even more chaotic.
though they'll act like a lot that you
know that's that's your sign right there
that this person is toxic man. Um that's
why you can't try to change you can't
change people. Don't try to change
people. The next thing is that the
chronic stress caused by the
misinterpretation of
memory. The stress of you letting go.
You got to understand people can sense
that like it's pretty if if you if you
ever dated someone that if you ever
dated someone and you stop caring like
people who we date they could tell when
we're we're like emotionally distant
they can kind of tell or they
like something off with you um Tinquisha
it look a little off you know like
people can kind of tell and and and that
and and that realization that there's
something off creates stress Yes. Right.
Especially if you if they feel like
you're pulling away. The beauty about
that is that it affects their memory.
Meaning, if you were needy and creepy
and you stopped caring, their memories
will misinterpret your needy creepy
energy with you were with you being
confident or I or or with a desire to to
to to hug and and nurture that needy
creepy side of yours, right? Um, and so
it it'll it'll and also the way they see
you in their minds when you're not
there, it literally creates like a
mental what I like to call a mental
photoshop where your smile looks
prettier, your teeth are more
straightened, right? Everything about
you gets photoshopped in their minds
because of the
stress, right? So their working memories
will get [ __ ] and their decision-
making will get [ __ ] And that's when
you will see that animal side, that
creepy animal side where they can't
control themselves. It might even cause
you to lose respect for
them. And this is my favorite part is
that the brain goes to a goes into a
nostalgia nostalgia
mode. What do I mean by nostalgia mode?
Meaning it's the misinterpretation of
the memories but also enhancement. And
it might it and not just that it it
lingers on for months. It depends on
their trauma but it lingers for a long
time. Um usually people like this people
who this works on the most are people
who are very romantic who are very
unhappy
um with their current lives because then
they'll the only way they relieve stress
is to think about how better think about
another moment in time where their life
was better. And if you were in there,
their their brain will literally
misinterpret those events and it'll
create a filter. What's a nostalgia
filter? Well, literally like
just like the the the [ __ ] I remember I
made a video about that the nostalgia
filter. But that it happens over time,
right? um if they if they struggle
processing emotion, it's like an
automatic thing like the the when you're
unhappy with the present moment, the
brain just brings up memories and
misinterprets them to to to make you
feel happier. It's it's truly a
beautiful thing because it uses that as
temporary coping mechanisms when
situations are bad. That's why in the in
the book um a man's search for meaning
the brain even if the situation is
hopeless the
brain little ant the brain will
literally get create hope out of
hopeless situations it'll literally
create hope and and that's but the brain
also does that with the past that it
amplifies past experiences if you're not
happy with the present moment if you're
happy with the if you're not happy with
the present moment it'll exaggerate
possible possibilities in the future
Right? And that's usually what happens a
lot when you're falling in love with
someone. They're acting disinterested,
but because you feel so insecure, you're
very hopeful that things will work out
despite frontal cortex, despite the
evidence that says
otherwise, right? People do that out of
desperation. They'll do that as their
last result, as their Hail Mary. So, in
the face of the
nostalgia, they'll start to make
mistakes. They'll start to act needy and
creepy. And usually, I prefer that you
do this. I would prefer that you
communicate that you don't care, that
you that you stop caring through your
non-verbal cues. You know, it's even
more [ __ ] up when you say you do care
and then you're and then you nonverbally
show you don't. Oh my lord. Cuz people
like consistency. And then they'll
they'll they'll do things to get some
consistent some they'll do things to get
validation out of you, right? They're
like, "Oh, they're act they say they
like me, but they're they're not showing
it. What? Let me do something to elicit
that response." And you might say,
"Damn, this person is acting really
interested and I'm acting cold." Well,
it's because they're misinterpreting
things. They're not in reality. They
their brains have been I hijacked.
They're in a state of stress. Their me
their working memory, they can't they
can't trust their working memory, right?
um and their decision- making is [ __ ]
And when they think of you, they don't
even think about you. They think about
the the the the mindmade version that
emanated that that was created from a
place of insecurity. Truly, it is a
powerful thing, man.
Um usually this is something that you
want to do um through you developing a
meditation practice. By you developing a
meditation practice, naturally you're
just going to come across as more
peaceful. Um, and when you do that,
people don't sense coldness from you,
but they sense that you're able to let
go of them if things don't work
out. That pisses off the ego to know
that you're going to be happy after
we're done. That you're going to talk to
your [ __ ] therapist and and do things
to make you happy out without me being
there. Cuz a lot of times the love they
feel for you a lot of times is ego.
Like, I don't want you to be happy
without me. That's not real love. That's
just a person who thinks that they love
you when in reality they just want to
control
you. All right, I should make a video
about that. If you guys want to want me
to make a video about that they don't
really love you, they just want to
control you. You just let me know in the
comment section down below and I'll do
that. Take care, guys.