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Drunk History Pt. 1 ft. The Fat Electrician & Nikko Ortiz - Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 82 | UnsubscribePodcast | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Drunk History Pt. 1 ft. The Fat Electrician & Nikko Ortiz - Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 82
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This content is a podcast episode featuring hosts and guests engaging in casual, often humorous, and sometimes controversial discussions covering a wide range of topics from personal anecdotes and travel woes to fighting, cultural observations, and personal insecurities.
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these judge the Dragon Ball back you
ain't getting those wishes huh those are
my wishes man soon as you leave I'm
going be dragging balls on
something we picking these things out
getting all this [ __ ] out oh that's
that's too short to be mine or BD's
beard hair you're checking it we're this
is 9:30 oh my God you got to okay first
off get this from a cat where the this
was at BD's old house which what lived
there I feel like cats baddy lived there
that's even worse this no don't you pop
that yeah holy [ __ ] you almost broke the
rule already Jesus Christ bro okay first
off we'll just do this first I mean hold
on what is this a shot you got be doing
shots out of a red Solo first time you
bring me here you got me doing shots out
of Russian Russian made vodka and now
I'm doing shots of something out of a
red Solo cup there nothing's good enough
dud it's past your he's already dude bad
coming from Iowa you have nothing this
is a step up for you you you told me the
first time we came you're not allowed to
wear pants on the podcast till you have
four appearances he's only this is his
your second one I did it on number one
yeah see he gets to wear pants I do what
I want I just got to I just unlocked
pants he doesn't deserve him yet and
you're letting him wear his pants well
first off he's really hot there's
there's
that that that Nico Ortiz boy that is I
know it to a te now cheers
Eli racially [Music]
[Music]
ambiguous that guy's [ __ ] ridiculous
donor that's harder to rhyme but he's a
really nice guy welcome to
unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching
that subscribe podcast um make sure
wherever you're listening or watching
whether it's on YouTube uh Castro
Spotify Apple Google Amazon podbean Stitcher
Stitcher
or that's all of them please leave a
comment uh uh like it thumbs up it give
it a rating of five stars whatever you
do it it helps the podcast out immensely
and donut and Eli will be very happy if
you do that and we want to make Don and
Eli happy today yeah five stars on
everything and a comment if there's
possible because we need to be at the
Top Donut say something motivating
and that's where the you come that is
come subscribe okay not going to lie uh
this episode got cut into to because
there was some drink a lot of drink
there was a lot of drinking but the good
news is we have a surprise episode
coming out Friday so you're going to get
this one today and then Friday you get a
brand new episode of what happens when
people drink too
much stay tuned for that one okay then
we go like this
okay and then we go hi everyone welcome to
to
unsubscribe I'm baddy you say hi
everyone donut here finish it welcome to
unsubscribe I'm here today with my
friend Eli and my other friend baddy
streams wait [ __ ] and then donut
operator here dude good to have you guys
it's been a while since I've seen you
guys BTY you've lost weight donut you've
gained weight Don yeah lot of weight
huge huge
flipping the
pancake did you just come back from the
gym yeah we got hit with that earlier I
bet dude that waiter was [ __ ] shook
for the rest of the night he be crack he
got he he didn't come back he just check
he's like hey y all good okay
PE he no he didn't want to talk to us
after that bro he was like n [ __ ] that
table we all can take that table Bro
[ __ ] tips tips ain't [ __ ] we're we're
all well we were dressed exactly like
this oddly enough we just got back from
dinner the waiter walks up and goes you
guys just get back from the gym you guys
gym it up to which I just immediately
responded no we just dress like
douchebags without and then we all legit
took a second we're like wait why the
[ __ ] why did he say it like that and
strong and pretty Recon one the tier
operator and [ __ ] brcc in America she
BCAAs bran chain amino acids [ __ ] yeah
bro [ __ ] go
hard poor guy why would he be ordering
dreams like woo we just got back just
sweaty dudes
apparently that's how the night started
and then Brandon showed up no that's and
it got worse no look the day has started
at four let me tell you a story oh bad
is gone Eli scheduled my flight okay so
I get I get to the
TSA no we need bad first off I said what
time do you like fly I didn't realize he
lived [ __ ] 18 hours from the airport
I didn't know you had to take sled dogs
to get to a [ __ ] car to then get to
the [ __ ] airport not on me bro I
assume you had
internet I had it started off really
good I went to TSA it was very busy
which was discouraging at first for a
second okay and then I realized that
thanks to the military I can follow
basic instructions and then I got to
watch a 6ot eight 300 pound black man
beap people for being [ __ ] dumb oh
was oh he was an [ __ ] T oh yeah oh no
see I can't do that [ __ ] me up he's
literally if it's made out of metal if
it's made out of metal take it off
people what about my belt is it made out
of [ __ ] metal then take it off then
take it off he goes you know what just
step over there and that dude got wanded
for like I the whole time I was in no
see I just I just shut the [ __ ] up and
bro I hate flying so much I I hate
flying I can't [ __ ] do it so my day
has to go good from the get if like
we're if I'm like driving to the airport
and there's like traffic or anything it
starts to [ __ ] with my entire day
because I will dude if we hit turbulence
bro I will reach over people which I've
done in the past right if I'm sitting in
the aisle cuz I pee a lot right if I sit
close to the window it I'd lose no
matter what the window I can look
outside I'm like oh it's safe we're not
falling out of the sky I'm not going to
die right now but if I sit in the aisle
can't see anything but I get to pee
whenever I
want if that yeah [ __ ] science yo the
two options stare death in the face or
urinate that's all I got bro cuz then if
I have to pee and I hold it I just get
mad I get pissed off and but I like look
over and if someone's just knocked like
I'll be like oh [ __ ] what am I going to
do and then I tried sneaking over him
and it's just a this is the awkward ass
in the face you know this is the second
time I've hung out with you and like
every time there's something really
serious going on you're the most
nonchalant person in the room and every
time absolutely nothing is going on you
are the most on edge you intense dude I
can't I can't handle like simple things
bro if it's if it's jumping out of a
plane I'm cool with it if it's me riding
in a plane I'm like I just like it's
like bro okay we have hit uh cruising
altitude uh 15,000 ft yeah everyone can
unb back there going to be a nice safe
calm flight Nico's like [ __ ]
we're going down lying [ __ ] yeah you're
pounding on the door sir this is a Denny
no dude if they if they tell me that
we're going to have a dude I like pilot
be like hey uh it's the captain here
we're g to have a smooth flight you know
it's about an hour flight if we're
[ __ ] 10 minutes in and I we're flying
and it's just a little dude I if I have
my laptop and [ __ ] out bro I pack it up
put it in my bag pack feet planted hands
on the [ __ ] bro and I'm so mad like
they're lying bro Ling [ __ ] you're you
like this you're bracing for impact 5
minutes into a three-hour flight and
you're like just in case bro you been
talking about right now it got me
sweating bro I you're punching to you're
punching the mask out you're like give
mask like help me please you scheduled
me a flight on an airline I've never
even [ __ ] heard
of I Googled to make sure it was good I
like I I did the boarding pass they're
like did you want to upgrade for $39 I
gave my credit card I'm like this is
going to be [ __ ] awesome I bored it's
me empty seat some random woman extra
leg room extra big chair this is the
comfiest I've ever been on a flight in
my entire life now so before he finishes
this story now I was happy with that
first part of the story I was like man I
did a good job Eli I patted myself on
the back cuz I Google and then reddited
if if that was a good Airline I was like
I have never heard of that one that's
weird no like since 2020 they went up
cells are going up everyone loves the
customer service I was like nailed it
click finished they're like uh so
they're they they locked the door and
they're like the cabin is now
pressurized and I turn my Wi-Fi on uh
there is no Wi-Fi and there is no TV and
I didn't bring a book cuz I'm not a
[ __ ] Pilgrim wait wait wait what
airline did you fly
[ __ ] Sun Country I've never heard of
it what is
country know [ __ ] it's a 3our flight
I got to look at the front of a [ __ ]
seat rest for 3 hours go home watch Lord
of the Rings Return of the King except
turn the [ __ ] TV off and make it a
chair I literally got so bored I went
through my camera gallery and was
deleting 7-year-old
pictures old old mem that don't even
make sense anymore because they're so
not relevant 1.7 gigs worth of pictures
I deleted off my phone in that
three-hour flight it was pretty epic son
what my phone's physically
lighter I got rid of so many memes dude
no hell no n see no no no dude no no F
oh my God I was on that plane bro have
anything to distract my
mind that [ __ ] you catch me on
the news I be like pick me up I'm at the
police station bro Nico is building a b
for some reason dude no bro I would
panic and 5 minutes in we start getting
turbulence and [ __ ] I'd be like put this
[ __ ] on the ground now right
[ __ ] now bro I've like dude I've
reached over people opened up the window
because they don't want the sun in their
face Hey listen [ __ ] if we hit
turbulence open up that [ __ ] window I
want to see I need to make sure even
though I can't I can't do anything oh I
would have held it down if you would
have reach over if I didn't know you and
you're like open I like no I would have
done this I'm like who the [ __ ] do you
think you are no bro I legit grabbed it
and I was looking at them and it went
like this and then you lean forward and
look at I them no dude I'm weird you can
seat and
control I can't do bro this do you tell
them they can't use the restroom are you
that are you like sir sit down it's like
what that says unbuckled excuse me I'm like
like
sit bro I'm so weird that like if if
it's like the three a ones and like I
can't reach I won't go for it dude I'm
so weird I'll legit I'll pop up in my
chair I'll scan for an open window and
if I see one back over this way bro I
swear to God for like maybe like 20
minutes to half an hour I would legit be
like this I would hate looking at the
outside window like five aisles back all
the way to end open on feel like I would
you sound like my autistic son can't bro
how did you have an 8 hour flight from
Vegas to Texas explain this to me oh
yeah you did you like you sent me a
picture at like 3:00 a.m. flying and
then you got I told well yeah with that
why do you think it dinner you're like
oh he'll take a single I was like I'll
take a single shot and you're like he'll
take a double shot I was like dude I've
been drinking like all day I didn't know
that giing was staying alive and not
[ __ ] getting like put on a no fly
list bro and it has to go good like I
have to get I'll get like a nice big
Uber to take me to the airport I try and
live like a king when I fly because I'm
like I have to stay calm cuz I'll freak
out dude I will I will Panic I'll that's
probably the few times I'll Panic like
he said I'm calm with anything that's
crazy if they're like oh we're jump like
when we were branding we're jumping out
planes they're like we're jumping out
planes I'm like okay cool literally
there's a video they took of us like
jumping out of the plane I'm just like
this the whole time like falling out the
plane and [ __ ] and no you catch me on
the inside of a plane
though like I'm on drugs dude I can't he
needs an impending feeling of Doom dude
no talk about anxiety people like I'm
depressed I have anxiety I'm like you
have no [ __ ] idea bro I feel like
you'll never going to have a healthy
relationship because of this
mon I love you so much I'm like you a
[ __ ] tell me I'm yes hit me I don't
like this why you so it's not going to
go very health healthily she's like wow
you can trust me I'll be like I don't
trust babe this is the most calm
relaxing relationship I've ever been in
looks over at you and imagine the wedding
vows babe why do you have a knife stand
by you in sickness and in health maybe
maybe it's just a lot of maybe just got
to calm him down
possibly never commit 100% bro you may
kiss the bride push her out the way do
do you love her [Applause]
that's your reply is that [ __ ] boy
face just I would say it just looks like
you suck on a sweet tart and you got the
the Nico Ortiz [ __ ] boy face I
definitely can't do it let's see it like
this look watch watch no nope I refuse
you just pretend I'm not going to be a
mean you're a gay [ __ ]
boy that's bra it I'm just like I just I
take a little bit of Navy and I'm just
like o o
don't make that sound with
it just know that's my now you just got
like the goods cuz that's the sound that
plays in my in my head every time right
now Eli I do it for you oh yeah if you
had to if you had to give me a
percentage of your success how much
would you put on your ability to make that
that
face how many girls have came be like I
really want you to do that face [ __ ]
yeah people have people have been like
you just have like a football do the one
like the cuz people dude I don't know if
it's you or someone else but they're
like do like that face you make or they
say like do Navy's face or like do a
Navy impression I'll just be like oh my
God oh my
God be like oh my God penis a picture of
one night that's exactly what I wanted
came so hard from
that this is my sex face yeah God damn
it oh God damn do we have fat
electrician you're in second and third
place now we're going to talk about more
this is just a [ __ ] bonus uh
demolition Matt called me out cuz he was
mad that I took second and then I
immediately took third and then I'm
going to take first and then I'm going
to take third again and then make sure
you guys dislike this video so that we
uh we stay on bottom okay bottom [ __ ]
status I've been I've been meaning to
ask you
something when snow melts where does all
is this is this a dad joke now I'm like
thinking so when when ice melts where
does snow go no when when snow melts
where does all the white go on the
ground oh to Florida the only reason I
ask is the only reason I ask all the
[ __ ] dandruff on your
shirt so much better than
Eli you [ __ ] slow that down and show
a fail compilation we're just going to
do a fail compilation Nick now that's it
I have to fail more than
once he did that to me like the first
time we met which was what like last
[ __ ] month or like like six weeks ago
you got him yeah no he got me like
multiple times it was just like funny
and chill or whatever but then now like
I don't know what it is like if you like
he could be like oh look that guy's got
a gun be careful I'd be like dude it's
the opening move and then I probably get
shot at the head of die that's how I
realized I liked you it's my opening
move okay cuz it's like like look when
you meet a new dude it's like I might
like you but you might be a [ __ ]
[ __ ] oh no I'm the same way and if I
get you with the Boop you only have two
options either we're GNA be really good
friends or we're fighting right now or
[ __ ] like we did I mean I mean I DN
near put that finger in my
mouth he said and I was
like then make it real uncomfortable for
him it's like this and like get I was
worried when I did it to him I was
worried when I did it to him cuz I like
the only way I can equate what I felt
with how he looked at me was like when
you pull the lever on a slot machine and
the three wheel start rolling this going
to be [ __ ] interesting we're going to
be really good friends or we're getting
in a fight and Chuck Liddell's here like
yeah I wonder whose side Chuck's going
to be yeah does Chuck even know this
Nico guy let's hope not just beat the
show big old [ __ ] fist just clubs me
in the head you are the first person
when we always when when one of my other
friends meets you and hangs out before
they hang out with and you go man I
thought that guy was going to be a
douchebag dude and you [ __ ] said that
too says it every [ __ ] says
everybody says that you know who caught
me off guard Nico Ortiz a really good
guy down the Earth like you said I was
like yeah I know dude he dude he came up
he said that exact same [ __ ] dude like
to the te and after he also like he's
like he's like dude I thought I was
going to [ __ ] hate you I said sorry
yeah he apologize I people meet you and
apologize you're like why does everyone
hate me and I told him I was like I'm
used to it bro it's cool dude you ever
just meet somebody you're like this
guy's gonna be a [ __ ] [ __ ] and
then he's super nice and you're like
damn it I'm the [ __ ]
[ __ ] Nico did that to me now we're best
friends those internet personalities are
like it's so starkly different uh for
the TV show I did um when we did our
what was it called uh pilot
episode it was just to get the sizzle
real Sizzle real and that's what
happened was Rocco was his character and
they were like oh Eli just be yourself
and I looked at Rock I was like I'm
gonna be a [ __ ] prick just an
arrogant prick on this so watch out and
all I was the entire Sizzle real which
is a six- minute episode was just me
bragging about myself how I'm God's Gift
yeah just an [ __ ] I didn't think
anything because I didn't think the TV
show was going to get [ __ ] picked up
so I was like okay Eli's good and then I
got a call like two months later like
hey you got a full season Your History
Channel but I was like professional
[ __ ] now and I was like oh you're
like [ __ ] I'm Jak PA now I have to do this
this
Persona I got be Jake Paul for a few
epis congratulations now you have to
fight him I
know and or wait you he might make you
wait till you're 47 yeah he has to hit a
re lie I'm a fan bro I just came back
from the fight I took my staff with me
bro I well I know he had a Fu I was so
is a good fighter and uh he is old as
[ __ ] though that's is 47 no bro okay so
what do you think would have happened
though if it was uh okay because you
fight too right okay so what do you
think would have happened if it was you
know full spectrum like like Silva in
his prime no no no like right now full
spectrum MMA yeah oh he'd have been out
Silva no no Paul yes okay so now they're
just boxing Anderson Silva is still a
great fighter he knows how to box he's
been boxing when he retired from the UFC
it's like you can't we I get it but I
mean like I don't think people get it
Jake Paul's finessing everybody he's
consistently training consistently
fighting getting the bag and doing this
and he's just going to keep getting
better and fighting better and better
people and people are just going to keep
taking it from him so why not just keep
doing that and he will be super he's
already a great he's a good fighter dude
he's solid as [ __ ] now do I think he
could beat Prime Sil noely no F [ __ ] no bro
bro
you you lose that reaction base when you
start [ __ ] when you start boxing like
you the older the fighters Jones uh Roy
Jones Jr is my favorite because he was
like oh man once I hit my late 30s or
when he started losing the first thing
he said he was like man I was [ __ ] on
top of the world like nothing could hit
me [ __ ] those punches W that's why he
fought with his hands down and he's like
and then one year like my body was I was
like move [ __ ] and my body didn't react
the same way way yeah and that's what
happened he was just like yeah and he
was like move out the way bodies took a
second too long it's like boom he's
like and L and he started losing he was
like [ __ ] my body can't keep up with my
reaction time anymore he's like hands moving
moving
move like shock
just get my ass beat today and it's like
here it's like oh that's really close
I'm not oh no it's still there and
that's what happened that's uh
especially at the lighter weights when
you have Cruiserweight any of those
lighter weight divisions it is the older
you get the faster you fall off at a
lighter weight division now you have
heavyweights um uh Grill man
himself who makes the grills [ __ ]
George Foreman George Foreman grills
there we go like what the [ __ ] I was
thinking heavyweight MMA for a second
sorry go ahead but George Foreman he
didn't come he came back he retired and
came back a [ __ ] champion at 43 47
years old at in the heavyweight division
he was out at a younger age nothing came
back a [ __ ]
monster what blows my mind about fight
boxing MMA any sport Jiu-Jitsu any sport
you want to talk about in general is
film film has changed everything yes yes
CU now you're not training to fight
you're training to fight Nico Ortiz and
only niik Ortiz like yeah there was a
saying that you know who the first guy
to beat Sugar Ray Leonard
was the cameraman cuz it recorded his
because they finally got to record how
he fought and somebody got to teach
themselves how to beat him they didn't
teach themselves how to fight better
than him they taught themselves how to
beat that one
individual yeah well I
mean I feel like nowadays it's like
typical Sports it's like football for
instance you're still going you're
you're doing train UPS you're doing your
regular plays and [ __ ] but then you're
also adapting to that next [ __ ] team
you're you're watching fil into radi
getting there yeah you need to [ __ ]
catch up you're like [ __ ] mustard
over there [ __ ] we're going to run out
of beer oh wait here F I'll go get we
got to get more okay you guys keep
talking about beers and I'll get another
mine's I got both mine done get more a
lot more just bring the
fridge the whole fridge you just get hit
fridge what do you what do you do when
you're like really stressed do you go to better
better
do good transition B give me three
seconds so I can pull this up for betterhelp.com
betterhelp.com
you just oh no it's everything fix this
look you're good you can fix
this you're you're a genius
fck I have these home I know how they
work okay yes you okay yes no I need
help better help than you better help
better top hey this episode is sponsored
by betterhelp therapy online say the
word better help damn
skippy uh please do not miss this disclosure
disclosure
perfect please do not compliance hey
guys uh one thing I've discussed what
weeks before and now and all the time is
therapy therapy therapy therapy it is
important it motivates you it makes you
better it gives you tools for not only
yourself but family and friends and
relation relationships that way you can
learn how to communicate you can learn
how to express your emotions in a
positive way instead of a toxic behavior
and that is truly important if you want
to get further in life you need those
tools to succeed learn how to
communicate learn how to talk learn how
to break down your emotions for not only
you but your partner your friends your
family and you will see a huge change in
everything around you so please for the
love of Jesus maybe not Jesus maybe like
Buddha same thing whoever your deity is
or no deity if that's your thing too
tier I don't know Thor Thor is a great
deity probably didn't do therapy judging
from the movies gin Gavin one of my f g
gabin steam oh okay I was like I was
like I am so confused right now okay so
that being said I don't know get unstuck
with better help uh learn more and save
10% off your first month at betterhelp.com
betterhelp.com
hp.com unsub 10% off go make yourself
Baddie oh we didn't get that nice and
deep BR you be
squatting ah relax calm down girl
ah [ __ ] Fair dance dude that was h
though damn yo hey hey [ __ ] for you just
in case ni a white claw like boxing
fighting in general this is uh who was I
just thinking about the oh studying for
fights what was great is when you watch
Pacquiao in his prime or Mayweather even
these dudes my favorite interviews are
the fighters that were going to beat
Pacquiao when Pacquiao was in his height
they would train up for this fight and
homeboy would be like after the fight
interview interview they're like what
happened he's like man I thought it
could handle his speed literally I
watched I watched that literally what
they would say it was that is exactly
what they would say it would be a
thousand hours of watching fighting F
they would get in the ring he's like
fucker's fast [ __ ] is too fast
literally there is Mexican Fighters just
saying [ __ ] is too fast fucker's fast
he like he was like at first it was like
I would see a jab like I can re and then
boom he [ __ ] X Games Mod dude he is
man he's on veteran mode I can't fight
him Mano back in the day was a [ __ ] bro
and Southpaw so you're just like dude
when he beat the [ __ ] out of um not
Canelo but um uh who's the Mexican
fighter that fought dirty he put the um
plaster plaster in his [ __ ] gloves beat
beat
up oh it just was in my head [ __ ] MMA
know it I know I'm like uh Antonio
margarito margarito margar
nice Mexican drink his family was nice
his family named him Margarita margarito
margarito but that dude Pacquiao he
cheated beforehand and he beat um the
Puerto Rican boxer I cannot remember his
name and he beat the [ __ ] out of him
because of plaster [ __ ] gloves
Pacquiao went in that feet against
margarito margarito looked like Jesus
Christ at the end of Passion of the
Christ after he was done with him it was
oh whooping oh like margarito they had
toost fight no oh no P Pacquiao beat the
[ __ ] out him okay I was like wait I'm
getting lost have you seen um I
Show's I want to see this now there's a
whole YouTube channel where all he does
is he greens screen and like chroma keys
out the other fighter that's like
winning and he just has the dude that's
getting his ass beat in the boxing ring
and you just see him
like just getting just taking damage
it's terrific damage it's liter like you
just see this guy developing CTE it's oh
no almost sad it's
terrible [ __ ] he get hit with his own
[ __ ] Plaster gloves dude Pacquiao
they stopped the fight cuz he had a
broken orbital bone Pacquiao a what bone
or orbal bone orbital okay better
Pacquiao barely got hit and Pacquiao's
just like he just he's like oh
B done knock dude dude it was like the
most one-sided like ass beating and
everyone was like okay they may they
should actually stop this now that that
D's getting [ __ ] up wait we this needs
to end yeah Pacquiao's D I love
fights I I don't know I don't know did
you watch uh you watch MMA you watch MMA
a little bit I didn't know you did
Brazilian jiujitsu by the way [ __ ]
[ __ ] Brazilian jiu-jitsu man bro that
was you were jacked in that photo too
which photo when you were wearing the
ghee oh thanks [ __ ] that was like
last week [ __ ] that was last week
on damn what the [ __ ] happened to you
pregnant you can come train in my U my
gym now it's okay in my garage bro
Fu next story go
on yeah I'm I'm a purple jiujitsu
where were were we going with that oh my
god oh no I was surprised I was like
what the [ __ ] such [Music]
[Music]
a I was bragging about him he's like
yeah I a
[ __ ] go go go go that can't get too
big bro we're done we shoot you down
real [ __ ] fast purple Bel [ __ ]
fighter over here how long you been
doing that [ __ ] like 10 years oh you
could actually [ __ ] probably wrap me
up on the goddamn ground bro d dude I've
been doing Jiu-Jitsu in Iowa for 12
years 10 years 12 years something
different dude Iowa Iowa the amount of
wrest the amount of wrestlers walking
around in Iowa is terrifying and slip
knot and and that's the only
people you fear on the ground if if it's
BJJ versus wrestl if wrestling is your
base and you do MMA too you're a scary
[ __ ] you're you're scary person
you have you have to actively try to
kind of learn Jiu-Jitsu but if if you're
a worldclass wrestler and you add a
couple years of legitimate effort into
Jiu-Jitsu you're terrifying on the
ground you're unstoppable scary because
they were the most aggressive Grapplers
I I loved WR a BJJ person I I know when
I lay down I'm like here p Guard
whatever it's going to be a relaxed game
of chess when I am fighting a wrestler
it is my ass on my back just be like
they're just treating me like a [ __ ]
a broom and I'm
cleaning bro flip over you're like why
just stop what the [ __ ] are you doing
bro consume energy
look yeah [ __ ] wor sing in try try
learning Jiu-Jitsu in iow like do you
know Iowa's got the best like wrestlers
yeah that's all everybody it's just like
some random dude walks in like can I try
Jiu-Jitsu today sure do you have any
experience in Jiu-Jitsu
no like bro he's like your [ __ ]
shoulders connect to your earlobes I
know you know how to Grapple like and I
was like how long did you wrestle I
started when I was three I won the state
championship when I was 10 bro okay to
give if you don't know at home to give
you an idea of like the state
championship level for Iowa if you were
in a state neighboring Iowa you move to
Iowa to try to win a state championship
there because it means so much more to a
college so for example we had a guy when
I was in guard new new Cadet oh Christ
he showed up and he was super cocky and
I just asked him I was like are you like
a [ __ ] badass like what's the deal he
was jacked I'm level one he's like I I I
I won state in wrestling two years in a
row and I was like oh sweet what [ __ ]
town and he said some Town none of us
had ever heard of Iowa National Guard
and he's like we're like where the [ __ ]
is that he's like Southern Illinois we
all started laughing oh yeah like he's
he's like he's like what's so funny some
G this dude wrong neighborhood
[ __ ] I'll never [ __ ] forget
it in my life his name was Mitten dude
drank a 30 pack every night of Keystone
he's like I made districts my senior
year in Iowa I will [ __ ] stick your
ass right now they took their tops off
wrestled stuck him in 38 seconds and you
pinned [ __ ] God like who is uh horn old
MMA Jeremy Horn Jeremy training at
Jeremy's gym because I trained with
Jeremy Mar uh Demarcus Johns and
um Ryan oconnell did you really yeah
pretty wow now if you want to know the
difference between a UFC and a Bellator
fighter I can tell you I can Spar a
Bellator fighter UFC fighters I
can't I was just like what the and then
you have all these huge like these are
heavy weights they I'm DEC I'm really
good at stand up I'm decent at grappling
ground I've done it since I was 14
13 never been wrapped up so [ __ ] fast
Jeremy Horn's a [ __ ] Legend like he's
a [ __ ] he's got he's like he's in like
the top 10 for most MMA fights ever like
it's in the hundreds of MMA fights it's
insane and then you have Shan oconnell
who is a heavyweight he does the
hilarious intros have you ever seen his
oh yeah I know bre out flowers he'll
like give him flowers and [ __ ] it's
really funny yeah and then Demarcus
Johnson is just big [ __ ] black dude
that beats the [ __ ] out of
people we like spar Demarcus we're doing
standup like and again UFC caliber
versus like [ __ ] I could box Bellator
I can box like that I'm like okay cool I
can Bellator sorry what year was this
roughly uh three years ago four years
ago okay go ahead so it's like ah ah
good good Demarcus though
Demarcus he was 280 at this point
Demarcus gained weight big boy and I'm
like sparring and I fight Southpaw I SL
slippy hands and I hit him a couple
times I good when he's like oh [ __ ] yeah
and then I slip and step in as he like
throws a [ __ ] it's like and it like
misses here it's like I was
like I Ste back he was like oh you lucky
you missed that one I was like yeah what
the [ __ ] was that what the [ __ ] just
happed like a [ __ ] Subway going by
and I was like in the air you feel like
you slowo your yeah it was like this it was
was
like and I was like how it feels to choose
got stop stop stop stop we go and then
the [ __ ] Demarcus does not go light
either he he likes to push the envelope
and [ __ ] homeboy what's he doam like
oh good ass like stomach oh just stomach
oh just 280 lb man you can
the you got your glove hand on you're
doing this you're just opening the hand
good yeah just grasping for your eyes
your eyes are beautiful due to the
water yeah I look up like look like
handsome Squidward looking up God
damn just yeah that was
like and I was like Demarcus what the
[ __ ] Sean dude Shawn and Demarcus would
go at 60% and you were watching
heavyweights throw like UFC blows and
I'm like you just hear the echo of
you're just looking oh my God they're
[ __ ] car wrecks yeah they're trying
to kill each other because Demarcus he
would they would make him go hard with
Shawn because Demarcus wouldn't follow
the rules of going light a lot of the
time there was the new new taekwon do
guy that showed up he thought he was the
King of the Ring like more than a bad
sparring partner man oh this well bad
sparring partner of Taekwondo kid who
thought he he was be niece he's 17 or 18
and he's like I'm tawo I'm [ __ ]
badass and he's going hard sparring this
is the first day at the gym so he's
going hard and sparring like beating up
the young kids so Demarcus was like I'll
spar him next and I was like oh I know
where this goes the whole place stopped
for everyone who's like a regular and
they're just like the TA kid's like
let's go and he's like and Demarcus like
what it's hard as he physically could
kids like like bodies up in the air and
it's just yeah just on the ground the
mom's like my child cuz the mom was
watching it like I was like she the
whole time she's like yes it's my
baby oh my god did in [ __ ] Jiu-Jitsu
there's this uh this is like this like
eight years ago now but there was this
he was either a black bton Taekwondo or
a black bton Karate he showed up to like
a highlevel jiujitsu competition no
ground experience other than like we
teach it my Academy yeah we're going to
shrimp yeah [ __ ] dude showed up and
was like I I'm a black belt and either
Kate or Tech wondo and he's like I
demand to be in the black belt Division
and they're like [ __ ] it fine they put
him in with Andre gvo who was like
literally the best black belt in the
world for like 15 years
straight [ __ ] dude realizes like 30
seconds then oh this guy knows nothing
and literally gets to the point that he
could finish him stands up pushes him
over gets up and just humiliates him for
like 8 minutes straight it's a funny be
like that sometimes bro 's got to go it
won't last him fighting and those people
don't come back that's my favorite thing
I love I love it when people are like oh
just tick tocker like I'll fight you if
I'm at the gym we're sparring if it's
sparring day I I'll be with the fighting
team we be like like oh you want to spar
with us they'll be like I want to fight
Nico I've seen him on like Tik Tok or uh
YouTube andu I'll be like okay let's
let's do it and then like you'll ask
coach be like okay like I know it's like
today's like you know we're we're just
sparring but sometimes it's just like
Muay tired like you just be rolling for
the day I'm like no let's do like some
full spectrum [ __ ] let's go get in the
cage and they'll be like okay cool I
love it when people don't come back full
spectrum just like my son Jesus [ __ ] Christ
like every [ __ ] time every [ __ ]
time I come on this podcast you hit me
with that dude we should all we should
all fight if you come out when you guys
you said you might come out uh the
beginning of next year towards uh Vegas
you're going to have to come too cuz I
have an entire combative studio now in
my garage I got I got heavy bags as
about fighting you I've got 10 by 10 no
I've got 10 by 10 mats and everything
karate in the garage dude oh my god do
we just become
call me to call me switch blade I I got
I I think you were actually the first
and this was after we just met he the
first person I showed my finished like
combative Studio too and I was like bro
you're going to have to come out here
and roll too cuz we found out when we
met and we were just chatting we're like
we did the cat like oh you think you
know about fighting and then we're both
casually like probably fight huh we're
like we're like oh you fight too huh
like oh okay what do you what do you
probably like what do you do so this a
you've never standy 69 with a dude and
career I want to be part of this yeah
there we go oh my
God we all just do the [ __ ] boly
face before we even start this ad this
is the ghost bed pillows like Badd
saying right now we want more because
these things are ghost bed send me
another pillow Bros for reals though
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something I know it's not right I'm
like Sav I don't want your shitty ass
pillow from Walmart these though it's
cool dude have you do you put yours in a
pillowcase oh yeah no don't wait what
that's the [ __ ] caseit the pillows
inside it's got a zipper what dude use
the the
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really what bro I'm telling you just
just rock that [ __ ] Rock raw dog your
pillow bro so nice oh yeah I'll hold it
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thanks for having me here by the way
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awful yeah dude that would be fun that
yeah come have we ever talked about
having an unsubbed only fans
oh oh only Subs only Subs only Subs o we start
start
these only Subs podcast only Subs man
this is really [ __ ] this is difficult
what do you guys want do you want us to
unsub or sub this is I'm confused these
are mixed signals you like my last
relationship I ain't liking this full
son we just got to toss Chism yeah you
just got to toss me ISM joke every now
it dude my son I there's a random tism
my son got off the [ __ ] bus the other
day like walks up I got the the C what
let me finish my son joke it's adorable
Jesus I love my son full spectrum God
okay go ahead okay so my autistic son
before I was rudely interrupted got off
the bus yes it's shorter than other
buses I knew you were about to ask that
Nick it's long in our hearts thank you
Nico gets it so Ryden gets off that bus
win we're just painting you out to be a
piece of [ __ ] they're like we can't
cancel the dad so maybe we'll cancel the
[ __ ] another guy in the middle they
just cancel him that dude [ __ ] hates autistic
autistic
kids like wasn't the other guy the one
guy tossing the joke but the other guy's
catching be like yeah but his son's
actually autistic so it's [ __ ] we got
guy in the middle [ __ ] that white dude
with the tattoos he obviously wears
ghost costumes on
weekends damn got
him I hate
everything all I was going to say is how
how much money did you raise with autism
shirts for autism research oh we did a
good that's all I was going to ask oh
that was a sweet damn no not a lie just
a save after that was a sa face I know
[ __ ] God damn it I still like when the
theory was my son was going to do the
autistic we were just donating to my son
to do nonprofit for autism and Ryan's
just watching YouTube videos not doing
any research but he got money so that's
all that matters it's not how the money
was actually spent I believe
you the TM dude what I'm the bad guy
you're imitating him typing with all five
five
fingers they're called tism fingers tism
fingers bro what did uh I got them one
of our well one of them started calling
um who was it one of the guests was he
was like Oh you mean um M uh casting
magic spells and I was like oh my God
you're right magic [ __ ] when they're
stemming it does look like they're
casting spells ch
it it [ __ ] Mak it do be like that it
do be like that oh my god dude when
Ryan's happy dude [ __ ] all the spells
it was it really it really bro bro maybe
he in a gang too bro he R in all the
gangs he's just doing gang signs and
magic spells at the same time [ __ ] angry
done it he's been like D I start
floating him like son son stop it stop
it son he's too op for the Naruto
Universe next
he's summoning [ __ ] Bro [ __ ] giant
toads and [ __ ] be appear replicating
himself it's like a 100 autistic kids
running around I learn I learned so much
about myself on this podcast like I'm
way more comfortable making fun of
Europeans than I am of anybody a
disability I know you were coming into
the show like I'm going to [ __ ] on
Europe is that okay can I [ __ ] on
Europeans and I'm like no let's switch that
that
around I was
like we're just going to make is super
uncomfortable the whole time yeah it's
people Nick this is where you say a
positive message about him we talked
about this
beforehand is it that hard to draw one I
hate you watch this Nico black people
mad cute bro see that's how easy it
is it bothers man because you you you
came you came into you came into the
you came into the first podcast trying
to upset me and you figured it out on
the third one and now you just [ __ ]
throw me off the whole time D it's not
the autistic kids it's it's the black
people Jesus
Christ why do the Chinese use
spoons this is the last time I ever fly
to Texas
ever I like you're on this episode and
you're going to be on probably two more
I'm probably going to film two more of
these we're going to run out of Kors
light I can't find Bush light to save my
[ __ ] life in this goddamn
State avoiding the black question what
about it just when we say black and
people what come first thing that comes to
to
mind nothing dud did you say uh he did
uh hands like uh yeah he did I hate
you I hate you so much [Laughter]
[Laughter]
respond I love n just being like you
pieces of [ __ ] all right wait pick on
pick on me cuz we double teamed him we
double teamed him ass to mouth bro that
was [ __ ] I just spit over okay do me
pick on me instead dude I put my mouth
on that one too this one's baddies I
know my first podcast I made fun of you
about it [ __ ] it was like Nico is like
at the base of that thing it was crazy I
go in I can do everything 100%
I I specifically remember going is this
the one that Nico had and they said yeah
and I
went oh did smells like Amber
cromie Hollister I was going to say ni
100% is a Hollister boy I specifically
remember saying it smells like kids that
bullied me in high school there's only
one cologne I've ever used and it's the
most basic [ __ ] cologne ever wait no
you're a [ __ ] Aqua Deo or you that
Walmart brand lucky Dior bro
Dior what the you had Dior
gr I never I never I never wor clone
until like maybe like a year
ago I still don't wear
colog just really none of you wear I do
sometimes you're married so it makes
sense I'm not married but sometimes I
just I do [ __ ] I have to do clone why
smells worse than mine do you smell good
dude why you could not wear clone I'd
still smell you it doesn't even matter
bro I'd smell you so [ __ ] hard it's
like this I pictures like that you smell
this and you were like that smells
good [ __ ] I I was like pumpkin oh wait
wait wait donut does donut smell as good as
as
baddies oh I want to smell the different
ones wait wait wait who's his what bro
don't be spilling [ __ ] girl dude this is
is that [ __ ] out of R we getting
those different Smiths I'm not going to
lie this one does smell really good this
is Beard cream you can smell that one oh
this one better donut smells pretty good
baddies has more of a that one the oil
has a lot more uh Citrus in it that
one's very subtle cuz it I like this
one's cuz it's subtle that because it
goes on your beard that one was like it
hit me in the taint well this is a hair
so this is for hair that's for Beard
yeah dude you just got [ __ ] you got
to [ __ ] test them out where's that
where's that other one at we put them I
think I might like donuts the most
Donuts a good one did ft yeah it's a lot
but that's for hair that's for hair
that's for hair I don't have hair I don't
don't
bro [ __ ] be smelling me I swear
to God like I'm serious if people like
can I get a picture I've literally heard
people like audibly like smelling me
that's why you use that [ __ ] that no
I don't want people to be like come back
for a second Whi I'm like take photo
want the second whiff where's that there
whiff oh God what what do you have to
say no he's going to make a comment
right now it's directed it's directed at me
me
it was it's just I'm ready go ahead
we've been here for like 6 hours now and
now I was like Turned I turned and I
heard nothing and I was like
[ __ ] that was that moment [ __ ] yeah I
was I was like [ __ ] and I pictured a
finger here but I was like there's no
finger here and I was like all did you
you see why I didn't look back and I was
like I don't care what's coming I'm Not
Looking Back I'm not going flu turn up
the audio as he's sucking on his finger
to get it w cuz that's what I heard I
heard this bro the first if you watch
your first podcast I'm get Jer off to
this later so [ __ ] donut bad's like I
was just wondering what are you doing
what are you cuz when I got donut the
this 10 seconds and baddy was just
looking at me like
and then and then I got donut to look
and it was it was it was perfect he
almost shot me
legitimately feel like donut would come
for you I feel don't be like like he's
such a cool like calm genuine dude but I
feel like you know that was [ __ ] out
around with him for a while now that was
the closest I've ever come to getting
shot by him that was like a Family Guy
when you pull your finger I was like and
slobber was
like like it did a reverse Bridge it was
a lot you like oh wow you know sticky
[ __ ] same
thing is the same sticky [ __ ] but God I
like every Universal guys no sticky
come no but like the over one when
you're like [ __ ] god [ __ ] son of a
[ __ ] your sticky
[ __ ] extra sticky [ __ ] what is wrong with
you nothing I'm fine have you seen this
new layout the medic The Medic in me
says it's because you're dehydrated you
need to drink more water no that's water
you're good okay is this good doc sure
okay oh I love you do veteran water God
I'm so glad you guys are in town like I
was just so excited was excited for this
going by the way I love the new setup
bro this [ __ ] looks [ __ ] beautiful
and I'm going to I I've literally just
been like the second we came I was like
[ __ ] dude you're yeah you were [ __ ]
just I was camera's like oh [ __ ] okay
there's lighting oh I need more
separation he sent I showed Nick the
Fantastic when I see [ __ ] like this I'm
like how do I do it I just like your
studio setup that you sent after I sent
ours and you're like a white CH Nick
like you guys are starkly different like
a complete cont if you ever seen content
it is the polar opposite of this setup
it is it's a white all sitting against
the wall he's like hey guys me ni more Teese
Teese
back no separation from the wall all
white with Ching it bro it's going to
get better look like an angel sitting on
a cloud sad I'm just like this the whole
time like with a light a key light right
here tin desk and I'm just like hey guys
for today's
news Jesus okay we [ __ ] get it drink that
that
one wait okay no you can't pick and
choose God damn it wait
wait
5 no no The Keg is for tomorrow bro you
know what you need to start doing on
here I bought a keg is like whoever's
whoever's uh falling behind you got to
podcast dude just drink it just drink it
just drink it I knew a 12pack wasn't
you're trained professional you should
know better I mean I guess God damn it
that been in the frame the whole goddamn
time dude I am so sorry that was
[ __ ] why do you have to keep leaving the
the
frame sorry dude it's okay I like it
when you you get up and move around [ __ ]
I'm so sorry guys I apologize
calm anyways Chinese people ooh [ __ ]
Chinese people we don't you do it you do
it ni you stop and he itches his eye
what I just I just I'm in Iowa and I try
to be a good person and I come here and
you [ __ ] just frame me what did you
people does wait so I can do this though
because I'm Chinese so now that's okay I
think that concept is [ __ ] fact I'm
Chinese isn't that concept [ __ ] though
are you Chinese I am Chinese do you
should look at my mom and you'd be like
that [ __ ] Chinese the [ __ ] really yeah
my my mom's side is Chinese in a Pacific
Islander so Hawaiian oh you actually
Asian too yeah I'm actually Asian yes
and if you saw my mom you'd be like if
you saw my mom and my dad you're like
holy [ __ ] this both of them
[ __ ] is Nico bro it's very
weird and you you are Ortiz so it's yeah
not white no
you're I'm in Mexico um I'm in Mexico
I'm also I'm a weird Mexico Germany KO estos
estos
dude holy speaking speaking of Southern
America and Germany well I guess
Mexico's North America because I'm
stupid but anyways Southern America and
Germany the lot related so like
everybody knows about like the the
German Colony that fled there after
World War II oh yeah Germany's super
cool bro you know what I just found out
about there is an entire like area in
Brazil I think it's Brazil it might be
Argentina but I think it's Brazil where
Confederate soldiers left after the
Civil War and fled to South America and
there was like a community of white
Confederates in South America to this
day I watched a whole documentary on it
just blown away are they just still
there are they still racist today yes very
after that many generations it's still
they took the L and they're like nope
not changing and then they went to South
America and they're like and now when
they open their door he like these [ __ ]
[ __ ]
Browns what are they mad about now there
was a whole news there was a whole docu
I was blown
away fire like [ __ ] they got a stage
set up for like their Town Festival
they're like square dancing with the
22 I hate the Browns it's like wow they
have a Spanish accent even this is
amazing [ __ ] [ __ ] the brown people in my
my
right like what what the [ __ ] is that
wait are you it's like I'm dead ass
serious I did we talk about it last time
the um the islands off of South was it
Japan or Africa that had the they
worship the American soldiers it was uh
GI Joe not GI Joe what they called the
colonel he was a God to them so during World
World
War I can kick him off just kill just
get rid of him now now he is the target
Nico is no I've been waiting for yall to
throw shots at me bro I can take I don't
think nobody want to [ __ ] with it bro I
just don't
care like it's not worth the time I'm
like [ __ ] hit me do it these people
they [ __ ] um is an island we landed
in World War III as a quick stop we like
hey let's put fuel on everything we'll drop everything here Islanders have no
drop everything here Islanders have no [ __ ] access to anything they see
[ __ ] access to anything they see [ __ ] giant planes Just landing on
[ __ ] giant planes Just landing on this thing like what the [ __ ] and then
this thing like what the [ __ ] and then we start airdropping Food Supplies we
we start airdropping Food Supplies we give them supplies since you're like oh
give them supplies since you're like oh yeah [ __ ] here blah blah blah we
yeah [ __ ] here blah blah blah we interact for a month and we piece the
interact for a month and we piece the [ __ ] out these people turned those
[ __ ] out these people turned those people into Gods because they had no
people into Gods because they had no idea what the [ __ ] happened this was a
idea what the [ __ ] happened this was a tribal Island no electricity no nothing
tribal Island no electricity no nothing so they were like how do we bring the GI
so they were like how do we bring the GI Joe GI I forget what they called The God
Joe GI I forget what they called The God it was like Joe it like God Joe or Lord
it was like Joe it like God Joe or Lord Commander Joe what so they built wooden
Commander Joe what so they built wooden replicas of planes radios everything we
replicas of planes radios everything we had and to to this day they still
had and to to this day they still practice that religion and they show it
practice that religion and they show it off because they like walk around in
off because they like walk around in fake Army outfits that they made they
fake Army outfits that they made they make ARS or at that time they make m1's
make ARS or at that time they make m1's out of wood they like fashioned
out of wood they like fashioned everything after it and satellites
everything after it and satellites literally made of bamboo it's a [ __ ]
literally made of bamboo it's a [ __ ] really cool story if you've not read it
really cool story if you've not read it what's called damn it this is oh man I
what's called damn it this is oh man I can tell you I say this is actually very
can tell you I say this is actually very interesting I'd like to read this is one
interesting I'd like to read this is one of those weird ones it was like a World
of those weird ones it was like a World War II um Island that
War II um Island that worships Joe uh
worships Joe uh GI soldiers that is super
GI soldiers that is super interesting say I know about George W
interesting say I know about George W and the cannibals but not this I'm the
and the cannibals but not this I'm the car oh the cargo Colts of Tana worship
car oh the cargo Colts of Tana worship American 2 World War uh World War II
American 2 World War uh World War II soldiers and Prince Phillips South
soldiers and Prince Phillips South Pacific island cult that worships the
Pacific island cult that worships the spirit of American world is that like an
spirit of American world is that like an untouched like group of people dude they
untouched like group of people dude they would like do fullon yeah it was an un
would like do fullon yeah it was an un uh untouched then they start developing
uh untouched then they start developing all their costumes and uh their Island
all their costumes and uh their Island [ __ ] after everything we they fly an
[ __ ] after everything we they fly an American flag they build [ __ ] no but
American flag they build [ __ ] no but okay so that that's interesting because
okay so that that's interesting because like that is like you see they have like
like that is like you see they have like regular t-shirts and [ __ ] like that now
regular t-shirts and [ __ ] like that now they do because they were like what the
they do because they were like what the [ __ ] was there's like untouched like
[ __ ] was there's like untouched like indigenous populations and people and
indigenous populations and people and stuff like that nor Sentinel Island
stuff like that nor Sentinel Island exactly like and you actually cannot
exactly like and you actually cannot you're not supposed to go out there and
you're not supposed to go out there and Inter they built that that's off the
Inter they built that that's off the coast of
coast of India oh it's you're not supposed to go
India oh it's you're not supposed to go out there you're not supposed to [ __ ]
out there you're not supposed to [ __ ] with them Etc so but that that's
with them Etc so but that that's interesting got merked by him yeah the
interesting got merked by him yeah the uh the the reporter the missionary the
uh the the reporter the missionary the missionary he was going out there to
missionary he was going out there to like deliver Bibles they [ __ ] just
like deliver Bibles they [ __ ] just arrows while he was in his canoe
right oh [ __ ] we they don't like me we got to pull back he's like [ __ ] I'm out
got to pull back he's like [ __ ] I'm out here by myself dude where is the other
here by myself dude where is the other photos there is so many photos of the
photos there is so many photos of the [ __ ] they've done which is crazy cuz
[ __ ] they've done which is crazy cuz they started building everything out of
they started building everything out of wooden um isn't it weird though how they
wooden um isn't it weird though how they would take something like that in a
would take something like that in a perspective and make that like the end
perspective and make that like the end all be
all be all the F you didn't know anything and a
all the F you didn't know anything and a dude just like straight up landed in a
dude just like straight up landed in a [ __ ] airplane like what what do you
[ __ ] airplane like what what do you make of
make of that waiting for John from that's what
that waiting for John from that's what who they call John from is who the uh
who they call John from is who the uh the the deity waiting actual dude well
the the deity waiting actual dude well no it was the colonel at the time they
no it was the colonel at the time they think they don't know the backstory so
think they don't know the backstory so much they're like yeah we landed on
much they're like yeah we landed on there we took off and then they came
there we took off and then they came back like years later and they're like
back like years later and they're like mer like wooden satellites and like what
mer like wooden satellites and like what the [ __ ] is going on in this little
the [ __ ] is going on in this little [ __ ] imag how the dude feels the
[ __ ] imag how the dude feels the actual guy dude like dude I'm a [ __ ]
actual guy dude like dude I'm a [ __ ] I'll be God yo John from and now they
I'll be God yo John from and now they like dude I'm Jesus Son that yes that's
like dude I'm Jesus Son that yes that's what his first thoughts was I'm [ __ ]
what his first thoughts was I'm [ __ ] a God he gets on like sup yo I'm God yo
a God he gets on like sup yo I'm God yo it's your boy God what's up [ __ ]
it's your boy God what's up [ __ ] you just worship that he's like get on
you just worship that he's like get on your knees and
your knees and pray cook me food dude they like like
pray cook me food dude they like like literally it's just worshiping soldiers
literally it's just worshiping soldiers outfits on
outfits on America because in the 1970s you had
America because in the 1970s you had this indigenous people that never
this indigenous people that never interacted with any [ __ ] thing on the
interacted with any [ __ ] thing on the outside world it's the 1940s and 30s so
outside world it's the 1940s and 30s so there was no access then America's just
there was no access then America's just like dropping [ __ ] parachutes opening up
like dropping [ __ ] parachutes opening up what year 1940s 30s and 40s okay so
what year 1940s 30s and 40s okay so World War II yeah so you have that
World War II yeah so you have that happening at World War II you're just
happening at World War II you're just like yo that's is so [ __ ] wild dude
like yo that's is so [ __ ] wild dude you have all the knowledge this is my
you have all the knowledge this is my favorite thing about you the level of
favorite thing about you the level of knowledge you have
knowledge you have about information worthless bar trivia
about information worthless bar trivia is all it is is that where you learned
is all it is is that where you learned it are a bar it's it's fun knowledge
it are a bar it's it's fun knowledge though it's like I I get what you're
though it's like I I get what you're saying though it's like the thing you
saying though it's like the thing you could it's like the interesting
could it's like the interesting conversation you can have at the bar and
conversation you can have at the bar and people are locked in all night about it
people are locked in all night about it topics and fun facts watch this Hitler's
topics and fun facts watch this Hitler's birthday excuse me Hitler's birthday
birthday excuse me Hitler's birthday [ __ ] that
[ __ ] that guy Hitler's birthday it's actually the
guy Hitler's birthday it's actually the easiest day I don't know his birthday
easiest day I don't know his birthday it's a really easy day at all 420 I
it's a really easy day at all 420 I don't want to know 420 is actually
don't want to know 420 is actually birday yeah 420 is his actual birthday
birday yeah 420 is his actual birthday nope not going to do it hey but guess
nope not going to do it hey but guess what you're not going to forget it yes I
what you're not going to forget it yes I will no you won't no you won't 420
will no you won't no you won't 420 Hitler hasht hash don't put them
Hitler hasht hash don't put them together hash 420 Hitler we don't start
together hash 420 Hitler we don't start that that's a Nick hashtag not ours [ __ ]
that that's a Nick hashtag not ours [ __ ] you Nick started that here I hate all of
you Nick started that here I hate all of you [ __ ] I don't know why I
you [ __ ] I don't know why I come on this podcast
come on this podcast thank
God did you see that that was actually a beg and plead for mercy on his KN he
beg and plead for mercy on his KN he like I was like I was like he's like
like I was like I was like he's like just stop just hold back just on this
just stop just hold back just on this joke let's not make me hit me with
joke let's not make me hit me with something hit me with some
something hit me with some [ __ ] what do you want I don't know God
[ __ ] what do you want I don't know God damn it I me or something I bet you were
damn it I me or something I bet you were really popular in high school no it's
really popular in high school no it's super hard for me to be here like I know
super hard for me to be here like I know for a fact you're really
for a fact you're really successful oh my God [ __ ] Ana War you
successful oh my God [ __ ] Ana War you guys see a picture of me in high school
guys see a picture of me in high school with a B you are really nice you look
with a B you are really nice you look very handsome today oh I have really
very handsome today oh I have really nice eyes and very nice hair have you
nice eyes and very nice hair have you seen doesn't mean it if you don't kiss
seen doesn't mean it if you don't kiss me have you seen my eyebrow
me have you seen my eyebrow Haircut Two is that the right side I
Haircut Two is that the right side I think so all right dope thank God is
think so all right dope thank God is that what you not your eye take a bre do
that what you not your eye take a bre do I shave this eye or the other [ __ ] do
I shave this eye or the other [ __ ] do you forget which eye you shave uh I mean
you forget which eye you shave uh I mean I don't really pay attention to oh here
I don't really pay attention to oh here here you
go I forgot you are an ugly [ __ ] kid BR if you guys can see this we're going
BR if you guys can see this we're going to get you that picture going to punch
to get you that picture going to punch in on this let me see it [ __ ] he looks
in on this let me see it [ __ ] he looks like a woodchuck that could chuck
wood all right here that is a what those bags bro those
a what those bags bro those B dud what is up with your hair dude I
B dud what is up with your hair dude I don't [ __ ] know bro have you seen
don't [ __ ] know bro have you seen this child he wandered off on his own
this child he wandered off on his own you look like K the parents did not come
you look like K the parents did not come to find him you look like KY from that
to find him you look like KY from that 70 show D he looks like what is that
70 show D he looks like what is that hair I think it's called bro wait till
hair I think it's called bro wait till you see the all pink hair bro if you're
you see the all pink hair bro if you're at home Google paig boy haircut that's
at home Google paig boy haircut that's what he had God bless this I know that
what he had God bless this I know that cuz my wife does hair for you bro I got
cuz my wife does hair for you bro I got a better one for you I got one more for
a better one for you I got one more for you you ready you might like is that a
you you ready you might like is that a trailer in background yeah it's a
trailer in background yeah it's a [ __ ] trailer what [ __ ] what phone
[ __ ] trailer what [ __ ] what phone is this that's the new one it's just the
is this that's the new one it's just the mini this is the new one does it have
mini this is the new one does it have the D have small [ __ ]
the D have small [ __ ] hands we just can we oh my God wait what
hands we just can we oh my God wait what the [ __ ] do you have my size hands yeah
the [ __ ] do you have my size hands yeah bro I have shooter hands I have shooter
bro I have shooter hands I have shooter hands oh is that what we're calling it
hands oh is that what we're calling it now what the [ __ ] what the what the [ __ ]
now what the [ __ ] what the what the [ __ ] holy [ __ ] you have like eight in on
me hold to wait wait wait hold on I need you to hold I need you for the crowd to
you to hold I need you for the crowd to hold a 12 O beer can God this is when
hold a 12 O beer can God this is when I'm going to insert a [ __ ] Barbie
I'm going to insert a [ __ ] Barbie hand grabbing
hand grabbing I'm going to insert a little doll in
I'm going to insert a little doll in coming in like
coming in like this only for that frame it's only going
this only for that frame it's only going to be that can you hold this and it'll
to be that can you hold this and it'll catch it this it's going to be a dog
catch it this it's going to be a dog it's like dud that would be the funest
it's like dud that would be the funest [ __ ]
[ __ ] [Laughter]
[Laughter] [ __ ] holy
[ __ ] holy [ __ ] bro you look you look like a
[ __ ] bro you look you look like a [ __ ] Barbie doll that got taken by
[ __ ] Barbie doll that got taken by the the evil kid in Toy Story that's
the the evil kid in Toy Story that's what you look like
what you look like in you look like my gay
ant that's it that's all you look like in that photo [ __ ] we sending you so
in that photo [ __ ] we sending you so many photos oh God Christ almighty that
many photos oh God Christ almighty that that that was the fuel for yall to just
that that was the fuel for yall to just dog on me what the [ __ ] was that photo
dog on me what the [ __ ] was that photo bro someone's like hey you won't dye
bro someone's like hey you won't dye your hair pink for uh I think it was
your hair pink for uh I think it was like yeah it was BR cancer awareness
like yeah it was BR cancer awareness month and my aunt got cancer at the time
month and my aunt got cancer at the time and I was like yo listen I don't give a
and I was like yo listen I don't give a [ __ ] about [ __ ] Bro in high school and
[ __ ] about [ __ ] Bro in high school and uh they're like you won't dye your hair
uh they're like you won't dye your hair pink and I was like I'll [ __ ] do it
pink and I was like I'll [ __ ] do it was that before or after you had the
was that before or after you had the fight with the lawn
fight with the lawn mower after okay that was just like two
mower after okay that was just like two two two two three years after [ __ ]
two two two three years after [ __ ] straight to and then I did
straight to and then I did that that
was God that was bad dude had Michael J fox cutting your hair Jesus Christ after
fox cutting your hair Jesus Christ after a week though after a week though that
a week though after a week though that pink hair was orange and it was orange
pink hair was orange and it was orange for three
for three months's just like okay
just I'm the people you hang out I do this really cool thing where I like
this really cool thing where I like to [ __ ] on people that don't have
to [ __ ] on people that don't have disabilities or like deil I'm 100%
disabilities or like deil I'm 100% diseases he hey I'm 100% disabled TMP
diseases he hey I'm 100% disabled TMP bro yeah make can font of me and autism
bro yeah make can font of me and autism is a debilitating disease so what's like
is a debilitating disease so what's like wrong with it dude
yeah dudee that might be worse about the the the people you said about the China
the the people you said about the China people people or
the or the mexicos yeah those mexicos how [ __ ] how the [ __ ] did I end up being
how [ __ ] how the [ __ ] did I end up being the good person on this podcast well I
the good person on this podcast well I knew Nico would match my energy all I do
knew Nico would match my energy all I do is talk [ __ ] about people and I come
is talk [ __ ] about people and I come here and somehow IU Chinese is bro and
here and somehow IU Chinese is bro and the [ __ ] Mexico dude God damn
the [ __ ] Mexico dude God damn it [ __ ] holy
[ __ ] no comment on the black people though thank you for watching
though thank you for watching unsubscribe
unsubscribe podcast we will catch you next time
podcast we will catch you next time [ __ ] mommy daddy bro love you
[ __ ] mommy daddy bro love you guys where can we find your
guys where can we find your [ __ ] [ __ ] youtube.com/ rcis uh and
[ __ ] [ __ ] youtube.com/ rcis uh and then what's yours
n Nico Ortiz simp Simple and Clean I like my
Ortiz simp Simple and Clean I like my [ __ ]
[ __ ] name Nick where can we find your
[ __ ] uh go to the fat electrician. comom it's all
it's all there FBI watch
there FBI watch list
list yeah watch list it's all
yeah watch list it's all there what what's the longest thank you
there what what's the longest thank you the longest episode you've had yeah what
the longest episode you've had yeah what is the longest episode you've had and
is the longest episode you've had and minutes oh what the [ __ ] that
minutes oh what the [ __ ] that we're going to turn this into a Joe
we're going to turn this into a Joe Rogan podcast 6 hours
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