The content explores the profound wisdom embedded in the Sermon on the Mount, emphasizing the importance of aiming "up" towards higher ideals, embracing the unknown, and the transformative power of truth, sacrifice, and confronting one's own inadequacies to live a meaningful and adventurous life.
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Carl Jung, the great psychoanalyst, he
said, "Modern people don't see God
because they don't look low enough.
That's worth thinking about for the rest
The Sermon on the Mount is the longest
continuous discourse [music] attributed
to Christ in the Gospels, and it's
widely regarded as [music] containing
the central doctrines of Christian faith.
faith.
Thy kingdom come.
Well, that would be good. You might say,
well, what is the shared goal that
should unite a whole society or or a
person? And that's partly what the
sermon on the mount is about. It's like,
what should you be aiming at? Well,
something like the city on the hill.
What's being outlined here is the best
approach. This is the best approach in
all possible ways.
There's this tremendous emphasis in
Christianity on embodiment. That's why
Christ is a carpenter, not a thinker,
not a priest [music] even. It's a
pattern of behavior to emulate, to act
out, to embody.
All of what we're laying out is a
landscape of faith, right? Should you
aim up or down? That's not a question
you can answer by sifting the evidence.
And that's where the element of faith
comes in is that regardless of the
catastrophe of existence, I will do good.
good.
What you want to do is welcome the
unknown with open arms
because it can teach you and change you
The sermon on the mount is the longest
continuous discourse attributed to
Christ in the gospels and it's widely
regarded as containing the central
doctrines of Christian faith in the I
suppose the most condensed narrative
sense and a sermon is just a talk or a
discussion uh a dialogue in some sense I
suppose as well and the first question
might be well why would it be on a
mountain and and talking about that
allows us to understand to some degree
right initially how complicated these
things are.
Words and phrases and po and poetic
titles make sense to us because they
appeal to us at emotional motivational
and embodied level. And so you think
well do you do you become enlightened in
a valley in a pit or on a mountain? And
the answer is, well, you become
enlightened on a mountain, not in a
valley. And why would that be? Well, you
can't see in a valley, right? You're
you're hemmed in. And so, your vision is
blocked by the surroundings. And it's
dark in a valley compared to on a
mountain, especially on a mountain top
because and you're closer to heaven on a
mountaintop as well in the symbolic
sense, although you're also in some
sense in the sky. And the sky is up. And
up is the place you aim. And up is where
the heavenly bodies are, the sun and the
moon and the stars. And we orient
ourselves by the heavenly bodies, right?
Because human beings are navigators. And
we've learned to use the sky to to
literally to orient ourselves when we
move from one place to another. And so
part of the reason that a sermon that's
enlightening is delivered on a mountain
is because that makes sense to creatures
like us. And there's these old comic
tropes of people climbing a mountain to
see a guru who's pe perched on top often
in a lotus position delivering wisdom.
And and that's also associated with the
old Egyptian idea and the Mesopotamian
idea of the of the eye of attention. And
so you see in Egypt there was a god
Horus who was symbolized by the eye and
also by the falcon. Falcons by the way
are birds of prey like eagles, raptors
in general. And they are the only
animals that have better vision than us.
And so they've been used for a long time
as a symbol of the capacity to see long
distances from above and extraordinarily
clearly. And the falcon of course can
fly above everything as well as having
great vision. And if you remember the
Lion King, the movie The Lion King,
there was a little bird in there named
Zazoo. And Zazu was the eye of the king
because he could fly above everything
else and and see. And so and that's an
extremely interesting issue too because
and in in the Mesopotamian creation myth
the god Marduk who was their
monotheistic god and a precursor of
Christ in some sense in that manner he
had eyes all the way around his head and
he could speak magic words. So there's
an idea there in Mesopotamia of the
doctrine of the word the magic word that
can bring things into reality which is
what we do with our words for better or
worse. and what we actually and truly do
with them because what you say changes
your destiny and it changes the destiny
of people around you. And and that's
that's really worth thinking about
because you just have no idea how deep
that truth goes and how much role you
play in shaping the way the future
transforms itself into the present and
the past as a consequence of what you
say. It's a core element of Christian
doctrine that the word is the
fundamental creative process that brings
order into being out of chaos and
potential. And you participate in that.
That's partly why in Genesis in the
first chapter, God uses the word that is
true and oriented by love to bring about
the habitable order that is good and
then makes the rather radical
proposition that men and women are made
in that image. And so you can think
about that in your own life. So the the
idea of love is that despite its
suffering and malevolence, the world is
worth supporting and working to improve.
And that's a real tough commitment,
right? Because to the degree that your
life is tragic and that it's
contaminated by your malevolence and the
malevolence of other people, it can make
you bitter and resentful and destructive
and and it can interfere with your
desire to to improve what's torturing
and tormenting you, which also might be
you. And so part of the reason there's
an emphasis in many religious traditions
and and and certainly in Christianity on
faith is because the evidence about the
goodness of being is in some sense
ambivalent, right? I mean, you can tell
that not least because of the culture
war that's tearing us apart right now
because the accusers, so to speak, say
that the world's so corrupt, human
beings are so corrupt that we're best
understood as nothing but the drive to
malevolent power in some sense. And it's
a pretty powerful critique because it's
not like history isn't a complete
catastrophe in many ways. And it's not
as if we lack the capacity to make other
people's lives miserable and our own and
also I suppose to some degree pose a
threat if we're not careful to the
ecological integrity of the planet. And
so there's reasons to be unhappy about
the conditions of existence. And part of
the faith that is imposed on you, let's
say, within the confines of the
religious doctrines of Judaism and
Christianity, not to say it isn't the
case in other religious traditions, is
that you should move forward as if
you're benevolently predisposed to
existence itself, to being itself. And
that would be life, your life, other
people's lives, lives, life in general.
but being as such despite the fact that
you're cursed with the burden of your
mortal vulnerability. And that's no
joke, right? That's that's as heavy a
burden, a moral burden that can possibly
be placed on people. And you have to
accept it as a as a presupposition of
faith because, as I said, at best the
the uh evidence is ambivalent. You know,
women will think uh I shouldn't bring a
child into a world such as this. And
historians will look at events like
Oshwitz and and the Goolag archipelago
and all the catastrophes of the 20th
century and say, "Well, if history is
such a bloody nightmare, is it really
something that we should propagate
forward in time?"
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These are very profound questions. In Gerta's
Gerta's
great play, FA there's a demonic
character, the devil himself,
Mephostophles. And Mephostophles is the
great adversary of being and his credo
is that life is so rife with suffering
and malevolence that it would be better
if consciousness didn't exist at all. So
we're called upon I would say ethically
and practically and philosophically and
spiritually to lift our eyes up to the
heavens or to the hills. And there's
another reason for that too which is
that our primary problem in orienting
ourselves in life is actually a
navigation problem. It's not a
perceptual or a conceptual problem. It's
how you get from point A to point B
because we're mobile creatures and we're
always concerned with what we're going
to do next and what we encounter along
the way. And that means that we have to
be aiming at something to move forward
because why move forward if you're not
aiming at something? And why would you
move forward towards something you're
aiming at if you weren't aiming up?
Because the place you're going to if
it's not better than the place you're
at, why would you work to move there?
And so that idea of up is built into our
conception not only of progress forward
but it's also built into us psychopysiologically
psychopysiologically
and neuropharmacologically because most
of the positive emotion you experience
now this is worth knowing man is the is
experienced in relationship to a goal.
And so you might think you're happy
because you attain things but that's
actually not why you're happy. You might
be satisfied if you attain something,
but it's fleeting because you attain it
and then the question is, well, now
what? Right? So, when you graduate from
high school, well, you've attained that
graduation status, but the next day you
wake up and you're no longer king of the
high school. You're entry level junior
clerk at the local drugstore. Not that
that's such a catastrophe, but you get
my point. Being at the pinnacle isn't
exactly the goal. Now what happens if
you want to experience the positive
emotion that can help sustain you
through life and can also what would you
say? Well fill you with enthusiasm which
means to be filled with God. By the way
n theos is to be filled with the spirit
of God is you have to be aiming at
something worth aiming at. And then and
then this is literally the case. the
more vital the thing is that you're
aiming for, the more positive emotion
you experience when you notice that
you're moving towards a goal. And so,
one of the things this means is that if
you don't have an aim, and even an
ethical aim, because you're aiming up,
right? You're aiming at something
better. If you don't have an aim and an
ethical aim, you literally cannot
experience any positive emotion. And
more than that, the higher your aim, now
that assumes that you're not making
things impossibly difficult for
yourself, but the higher your aim, the
the higher the the the more intense the
positive emotion associated with
evidence of progress. And so then what
you might derive from that if you were
thinking about setting your life up
properly is that you should aim at the
highest possible thing. And of course
then that begs the question, what is the
highest possible thing? And that's
partly what the sermon on the mount is
about. The highest possible good is a multiaceted
multiaceted
phenomenon. It's not just one thing. It
might be beauty, for example, but it
also might be truth, and it might be
love, and it might be courage, and it
might be integrity, right? You can see
all these positive moral virtues
aggregated into a single thing. It might
be the call to adventure. It might be
the call to wisdom. It might be the fear
of God. There's all sorts of elements
that make up what's best. And so you
can't reduce it in some sense. You
certainly can't reduce it, for example,
to something simple like compassion.
It's not a one-dimensional virtue. It's
something very difficult to attain. A
balance of many virtues or a sum of many
virtues. And so God was often defined
classically as the sum bonum, the sum of
all good things. And this is a
definition, not a statement of belief.
It's a definition. And that's worth
knowing too. So imagine that you do
know, we all know that there are good
things. And so that's an interesting
category because there are many
different things that are good but they
share the common feature of being good.
And so then the question is well what is
the essence of the common feature of
good? And the classical one classical
answer to that would be well that's
that's a good enough definition of God.
And and then you can ask yourself too,
well, if you're pursuing things that are
good, and hopefully you are, not that
you necessarily are, cuz people can
pursue evil and harmful things, too. But
if you're going to pursue something
that's good, well, why wouldn't you
pursue the sum of all that's good? Why?
And especially, there's another way of
thinking about it, too, especially
because you're betting your life on your
actions. You know, I was out on jet skis
this morning, and I thought, you know, I
could I could die on this. I could crash
into a boat and I'd just be dead. And
and then I thought, well, it's worth it
to zip around out here to take that
risk. And but the fundamental truth of
the matter is because of the mortal
conditions of your limited existence,
you're betting your life on what you do
all the time in maybe a rather small
way, but often not so small because
people do die in the pursuit of what
they're pursuing. And so you might ask,
well, what's worth betting your life on,
betting your sanity on, betting your
family on, betting your future on? And
why should it be less than the sum of
all that is good? Why would you do that?
Now, one answer is because it's a heavy
responsibility to pursue the highest
possible goal. And you might think,
well, I'm afraid of that responsibility.
And fair enough, but if you think, I
don't want that responsibility, you
might want to think again because it
isn't obvious what you have on your side
to justify your miserable life to
yourself. You know what? We all are very
aware of our own flaws. And we're also
very prone to torture ourselves with our
own consciences. And we probably do that
more to ourselves than we do it to other
people. Most of the people I know who
aren't narcissistic are much harder
judges of themselves than they are of
other people. They're often less likely
to do good things for themselves than
they are to do good things for other
people. And that's because they're
acutely aware of their multitude of
flaws. And then you might say, well, how
is it that you contend can contend in a
realistic way with your multitude of
flaws? And you might say, well, you
could develop the self-respect that
would emerge as a consequence of bearing
a heavy responsibility. And I actually
don't think there I don't think there is
any other solution than that. And I know
like I've seen people in very dire
circumstances, you know, who've been
brought low by all sorts of things,
including their own foolishness and
malevolence. And one of the things they
do have to rely on in such situations is
the fact that they've been of some
service well to themselves but mostly to
other people genuine service right and I
also think that if you if you're mature
and you have some experience one of the
things you also notice is that
there are few pleasures in life as deep
as recognizing that something that
you've done escaping from your
bitterness and and as a precondition for
this that something that you've done has
genuinely been of service to someone
else, especially in service to their
continued development. And so, you know,
there are a lot of cynics about people
who run businesses, for example, that
you're just exploiting your workers. The
bloody Marxists think that all the time.
But if you run a prosperous and
reasonable and productive and generous
business, one of the true pleasures,
same if you're an academic um or anyone
in a position to mentor, one of the
genuine pleasures of life and it's a
deep pleasure is the opportunity to take
young people who have real promise and
to open doors for them and help their
development. And that's a that's a much
deeper pleasure and also a much more
useful solve for your conscience than
any trivial profit you might derive from
exploiting them, which is also not a
very effective or efficient way of
dealing with anyone around you. It's
like if I can cooperate with you and we
can align our interests and I can help
you move forward and you can do that
vice versa, even if you're in a junior
relationship to me, we're going to do
way better together than we are if I'm
just telling you what to do and you're
resentfully dragging your miserable
carcass along because you have to.
That's that's no way to conduct your
affairs. And no one wants to be around
anyone who does that. And so the
responsibility is it might be worth the
effort and the attempt you know and you
just there's other reasons to think that
too. So imagine that you go different
places and you do different things and
one of the things that happens as a
consequence of of of facing that
challenge is you start to develop
because you you get more informed,
right? You meet more people. You have a
wider social network. You you learn more
skills. You you gather more descriptive
information. you flesh out your
knowledge of geography and philosophy
and history and beauty and all of that.
That's all information. So it's but that
isn't all that happens to you when you
challenge yourself especially if you
take the challenge on voluntarily. So
one of the other things that happens is
if you stress yourself challenge
yourself physiologically. So you put
yourself in situations that you hadn't
been in before that demand something new
of you. new genes turn on and start to
code for new proteins and they build new
parts of you. And so it's as if there's
a reservoir inside of you of biological
possibility that's a consequence of your
inheritance in in the in the deepest
sense, but it will not be transformed
into actuality unless there's a demand.
And then you could imagine further that
maybe you're facing a challenge and you
don't want it, right? and you reject it
and so you're afraid and you're running,
then the genes that turn on inside you
are going to turn you into a prey animal
and something that's hiding. But if you
face that voluntarily, then that puts
you in an entirely different
psychophysiological state. The the data
on this are quite clear and that's going
to craft you into the sort of person
who's more and more able to confront to
voluntarily confront larger and larger
challenges. And given that the basic
challenge of your life in some real
sense is to not allow the weight of your
mortal vulnerability to embitter you and
drag you into hell. I I think that's
even a more pertinent threat than death.
You better be set up for the challenge
because and everyone faces this in the
most fundamental sense, right? Betrayal
and death and old age and all the things
that are classic elements of the
catastrophe ex of existence. they are
definitely coming your way and hopefully
you can prepare yourself for that and
there's every reason to assume that you
can't and so that's a very positive
message in the face of something that's
extraordinarily negative and so that's
all background just for why this is a
sermon on the mountain and so that gives
you some indication of the depth of
these kinds of stories very little in
them if if anything is accidental and
almost every word and phrase is
connected to a multitude of other words
and phrases say within the biblical text
often within the chapter itself but then
also it has its branches out into the
broader culture into poetry and art.
You'll see that with the images that
I've selected for example that accompany
the statements in this in this sermon
and so aim up that's the first that's
the first rule and seeing the multitudes.
multitudes.
So he's being Christ in this situation.
This is early in his ministry, by the
way. Uh and seeing the multitudes
following him, he went up into a
mountain. And when he was set, his
disciples came unto him. And he opened
his mouth and taught them, saying,
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for
theirs in the king is the kingdom of
heaven." That's a very confusing line.
Blessed are the poor in spirit. So are
we talking about the economically poor?
And but or do we mean poor in spirit?
Well, what does that mean? Do does that
mean those who are bereft of spirit? So
of of energy and and enthusiasm. And
that isn't what it means. It means
blessed are the
it's an it's blessed are those who are
the antithesis of narcissistic.
That's what it means. So to be poor in
spirit means to be humble. and and it
isn't humble in a self aacing way, in a
in a cringing milk sort of retreating
I'm unworthy way, especially not if it's
accompanied by such pronouncements.
That's not what it is. What it is
instead is that there's an immense
emphasis on humility as a virtue in
Christian practice. And again, I'm
speaking of Christianity specifically
here because this is a Christian text
and I'm not implying that this isn't an
attribute of other religious traditions.
But what is this humility and why is it
a virtue? And a long time ago when I was
teaching this course uh at that I
developed over a few decades called maps
of meaning. I I put forward the
proposition that your experience is made
you can subdivide your experience into
two components at the broadest level.
It's yin and yang to some degree. But
another way of thinking about it, a more
concrete way is uh known and unknown.
There are things you know and there are
things you don't know. Now, here's the
definition of know. It isn't that you
have a description of it. You know, a
place when what you want to happen
happens there when you act. That's how
your brain reacts to a known situation.
So, when you're somewhere familiar, the
reason it feels familiar is because
everything you do works. And that's one
of the nice things about being home. You
know where everything is. Everything's
simple, assuming your house isn't an
absolutely chaotic hell hole, which it
might be. But if you set it up well,
it's familiar and comforting because
everything you do there works. And so
you feel secure there, like you should
because everything you do there works.
But then you can go out beyond the
domain of what's kind.
And you can go to places where you don't
know how to match your behavior with the
demands of the situation. And that's in
the unknown. And you might say, well,
why bother going to the unknown at all?
And there's a variety of answers to that
is, well, do you want to just stay in
your house? And the answer to that is
probably no. And second, the unknown has
an uncanny ability to come into your
house even if you don't invite it, which
is the motif, by the way, of the serpent
in the garden. Right? No matter how
carefully you set up the walled garden,
you're not going to keep out all the
snakes. And so you better be prepared to
deal with snakes even if you're on
familiar ground. And the way you learn
to deal with snakes is by going out and
interacting with snakes. And so then
your safety isn't dependent on security,
right? Which is an impossibility in any
case. Your your stability starts to
become dependent on your competence. And
that's a way better deal. In order to
move out into the world and to become
competent, you have to make friends with
what you don't know. And so, and this is
the this is the opposite of being a
totalitarian. So, if you're relying on
security to regulate your emotions,
you're going to insist that what you
know is right. Because if it's not
right, then you get anxious and upset.
And if you're anxious and upset, you
have no tools. But if your security
isn't dependent on what you know, but is
dependent on your ability to handle
snakes, let's say, your ability to deal
with the unknown, then you can welcome
the unknown. And so why should you do
that? Well, first of all, you're not
going to escape from it because it's
going to come visit you at home no
matter how secure you are. There's, you
know, even if you just stayed at home,
at some point you're going to get ill.
And then, well, in come the snakes. And
if you're not prepared for that, well,
all hell's going to break loose. And so,
there's no final security in being a
human being. insecurity which is why
tyranny and authoritarianism
mindless rule following is insufficient
even though careless rule breaking is
not also not helpful. So, what you want
to do is
welcome the unknown with open arms
because it can teach you and change you
and it can teach you the things you
don't know and it can change you into
what you could be. And so then you
think, well, maybe what I don't know is
my friend. Now, you might ask yourself,
well, is what I don't know my friend?
And here's the answer to that question.
To what degree are you living in
paradise? If your life is not everything
it could be, and I mean everything it
could be, then hopefully the reason for
that is that you're wrong.
And that'd be great if that was the
reason, right? Because if the world's
wrong and that's why you're miserable,
you're you're done because that's the
world and there's just you. And if it's
the world making you miserable, you're
pretty much doomed. But if your it's
your own stupidity and your own
ignorance, your own blindness, your own
malevolence, then at least in principle,
even though this wouldn't be easy, at
least in principle, you could do
something about that. And so what you
you do in some sense, and and this is
why Christ says, uh, "Blessed are those
who are poor in spirit is because
they've opened themselves up to the
possibility of revelation. Knock and the
door will open. Ask and you will
receive. Seek and you will find." which
seems wildly optimistic, but which has a
real point, which is that
the manner in which the world manifests
itself to you is dependent to an
indeterminate degree
on what you aim for and how much you're
willing to sacrifice to attain that. And
I mean that technically as well, because
when you look at the world, you look at
the world through an ethical hierarchy
because you have to prioritize your
perceptions. You have to decide what's
most important because that's what you
look at because what else would you look
at? What's least important? And so with
every act of your movement of your eyes
and with every with every attempt to
focus your attention, say on a
conversation in a restaurant when
there's all sorts of other conversations
going on, you're making decisions about
what's most important. And so
if what's most important is opening
yourself up to revelation, then you're
going to put yourself in a position
where that's a possibility. So one of
the things I recommend it to people who
are trying to develop a vision for life
and this is a meditative exercise or
even a prayer is and and we could put it
in biblical terms for the purposes of
this lecture. So imagine that you can
have what you want you need
but you have to know what it is and you
have to be willing to do to let go of
whatever is necessary to let go of to
move in that direction. And the more
you're willing to let go and that's a
sacrificial motif. The more you're
willing to give up to move in that
direction, the higher the probability
you'll move in that direction. And the
more clear your vision is with regards
to what you want, the higher the
probability. Well, that makes perfect
sense, right? How are you going to
orient yourself towards something if you
don't know what it is? And how are you
going to attain something difficult if
you don't put in the requisite effort?
No one with any sense would ever presume
that either of those things were
possible without doing both of those
things. And so the exercise asks you to
spend 15 minutes
first of all imagining, okay, here's the
deal. You get to have what you want and
you need in f five years from now within
the bounds of reasonable rationality,
right? But who knows what that is
because God only knows how far you could
go in five years if you were all in. You
can go a long ways. But let's be
reasonable about it. You can make
another plan in five years if you're
radically successful. If you could have
what you wanted,
what would it be? And it's a bit of a
vague question. So, we ask people to
answer it more specifically. What would
you want in an intimate relationship?
What would you want in friendship? What
would you want in your job or your
career? How might you educate yourself?
How would you take care of yourself
mentally and physically? What would you
do with your time outside of work?
Remember, you get to have anything you
want here within the bounds of your
limits, let's say, and even the limits
of your imagination. just what would
that look like? Well, that's a that's an
opening up to revelation. You think,
well, you're asking yourself this
question. Well, that's an interesting
thing, right? It's like, why do you have
to ask yourself a question if you could
hypothetically generate the answer? Why
isn't the answer just there? And the
answer is, [snorts] we don't know why,
but it's clearly the case that you can
ask yourself a question and then you can
get an answer. That's what happens when
you think. That's the revalatory element
of thinking and you we think we think up
those answers. But the religious
presumption is something more like well
no the thoughts enter the theater of
your imagination because you've opened
yourself up to the revelation and that
isn't you in any real voluntary sense in
in in some sense it's almost as if it's
something external to you because you
didn't have the answer and you posed the
question and now you have the answer.
And you know how that works too because
you can get an answer that manifests
itself internally and sometimes it's it
clicks, right? It it it's intuitively
appropriate. It it matches you in some
fundamental way and you think, "Oh, yes,
of course." And well, that's a
revelation. And then that's part of
thought. First part, ask yourself a
question. The second part receive an
answer. The third part dissect and
analyze the answer and maybe compare
answers and maybe do that in dialogue
with other people. And that's thought.
But all of that's predicated on the
initial openness to the receipt of the
revelation. And so this is such a cool
idea that the more of your own ignorance
and insufficiency you're willing to
admit and that's a painful thing, right?
If you go right down to the core of why
you're much more useless than you might
be. You go right to the core of that.
The deeper you go down, and that's in
some real sense an admission of your
sins and inadequacies, the more likely
it is that you'll receive an answer that
will rectify that. And I think, well,
that's the first line that I think
that's literally true. I think that's
almost all you do in psychotherapy, for
example, is like, what what's wrong with
my life? Now, some of that might be, you
know, you've been terribly hurt by other
people, but maybe you need to fortify
yourself so what that won't happen
anymore. and you there and you may have
all sorts of physical and psychological
problems that are intrinsic to you, but
it's still the same issue. You still
have to contend with those weaknesses
and you've probably multiplied them
stupidly in all sorts of ways. And so
you got to put yourself down. Not in a
demeaning sense, but you have to you
have to
strip yourself of all your presumptions
and your pretensions, especially when
you're dealing with the worst problems
that you face because the worst problems
you face are in some sense directly
proportionate to the most blind that you
are, right? Or God, wouldn't it be
lovely if that was the case? that that
was the reason you had serious problems
is because that's where you're most
blind. It makes sense e because you'd be
most afraid there and also most
unwilling to take remedial action. And
so you really have to humble yourself
and it's supposed to be a private act
too. This isn't something you do and
sort of expose your vulnerability to
other people. Although there might be
circumstances under which that's
appropriate. You're really doing that
for yourself. Like what the hell's wrong
with me? Exactly. And that's a
terrifying thing, too, because that
means you have to admit to yourself that
you are unhappy. And that's the first
thing a tyrant does, by the way, is
forbid you to be unhappy. And so, you
might be a tyrant to yourself in that
regard. You have to admit to yourself
the depths of your misery and your
longing and the bitterness that might go
along with that. And then you have to
associate that with all your
insufficiencies and your errors. And
that might involve a real detailed
analysis of your past. That's something
like a confession of sins. And the more
you do that, and this is literally the
case, the more open you are to a
corrective revelation. And so, Jung,
Carl Jung, the great psychoanalyst, he
said, "Modern people don't see God
because they don't look low enough." And that's
that's
that's worth thinking about for the rest
of your life. So, so that's a great
opening. These are the biatitudes, by
the way. That's what this section of the
sermon on the mount is known
technically, the blessings. And it's
very strange conceptually, this part of
the document. And this is true of the
Bible in general is that it brings polar
opposites together, right? So it lays
out some of the elements of the
catastrophe of life and then it says
it's it's in this twist there's a twist
here that makes the acceptance of those
catastrophes something that can be
transformed into a blessing. And you see
this example why most particularly in
the meta narrative of Christ's life
because Christ of course dies a
torturous and unjust death at the hands
of malevolent people which is the worst
sort of death you can die in many ways.
But the story itself is contained in a
broader narrative that the acceptance of
that destiny which by the way is a
destiny that to some degree we're all
prone to in some real sense. the more
radically you can accept that, the
higher the probability that you can
fundamentally transcend it. And I would
say that's an open question too, man,
because we do know that the more you're
able to contend with your own
insufficiency, the stronger you'll get.
And so then that is an open question.
It's like, well, how far down can you
chase that insufficiency, right? Is it
all the way down to the fear of death,
the fear of social rejection, the fear
of insanity, because maybe those are the
three cardinal fears. Can you chase it
all the way down to that? And then can
you rectify that? And I would say this
is a kerkagardian idea. You find that
out in the course of your life. No one
can tell you that how that's going to
go, right? That's your adventure. And no
one can have that for you. And so, and
you don't have to find it out. You don't
have to dig all the way into the depths,
but they will come looking for you. And
there's no doubt about that. So, my
sense is it's a hell of a lot better to
be prepared. and you're a lot less
harmful and toxic to other people under
those circumstances too. And that's
really worth considering as well if you
have people in your life that that you
love because maybe you don't want to
hurt them while hurting yourself. That's
often a way out of self-inflicted pain
for people. It's like well you know
maybe you don't care that much about
yourself and maybe you have your reasons
but there are people who love you and
they are not going to be happy if you
are not doing well for yourself. That's
generally particularly true of parents
in relationship to children. So, so,
so blessed are the poor in spirit for th
theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
That's a hell of a thing to say and and
something to believe. Blessed are they
that mourn for they shall be comforted.
I would say again there's a there's an
emphasis on the
the full experience of these emotions in
some sense. I I'll give you an example.
So, this is a rough one. When my my
wife's mother died of a degenerative
neurological disease, an Alzheimer's
variant, and it was very nasty. It it
basically took her apart over 15 years,
you know, and it's a terrible thing to
watch someone decay peace in a peacemeal
fashion, right, towards an inevitable
death. And uh, of course, everybody in
her family was very sad about that. But
there were some some
events around her demise that
served as their counterpart. The first
was her husband. His name is Dell
Roberts. He's my father-in-law. I've
always liked him. He's a really
charismatic guy. He's real 1950s Dean
Martin manabout town kind of guy.
Extremely extroverted, pretty
disagreeable, really funny. Um,
everybody in the little town we grew up
in knew him. uh he just had that a
brilliant personality and he was out all
the time working as a businessman and
and he was an athlete as well and he had
a big booming voice and he was always
the center of the he was always always
the center of the party in a good way.
Uh I really liked Dale and luckily he
liked me. [snorts] Um,
but when his wife got sick, no one
really knew how he would respond because
I wouldn't say that he his cardinal comp
his cardinal virtues were not those of
compassion. And this is not an insult.
Compassion can be a devouring
uh virtue and for the person who
experiences it and for the target of the
compassion. And so I'm not saying this
in any manner that was critical at all,
but he didn't seem to be the
stay-at-home take care of someone sort
of guy. And that's exactly what he
turned into. And it was it was stunning. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. It was unbelievable because he
took such care of his wife and it was so
amazing to see that part of his
character flower like that, you know,
and to see him sacrifice his more
extroverted and outward oriented mode of
being to take care of this woman that he
loved. And he really did love her and
she really loved him. And really right
up to the end when she couldn't speak,
she would light up when he came into the room.
room.
And so that was something because he was
mourning her loss. Say he wasn't
shielding himself from the grief. And
because of that, it affected him
different deeply enough to transform
him. And so what was the benefit of
that? Well, the benefit was she had a
lot less miserable time of it than she
might have. So it was still hell, but it
wasn't the lowest depths of hell and it
could have been. And then he manifested
a widening of character and wisdom. And
one of the things that did was there was
some friction within the family like
there always is and some ambivalence in
the relationship between the children
say and the father. But all of his
children came to respect and admire him
much more. And so when she died and he
got old they were much more around to
take care of him which is an extremely
interesting thing. And also the family
who was not afraid of death in a very
fundamental sense. My sister-in-law was
a palative of care liter. My wife is
very brave in in that regard and and her
and the another sister was a pharmacist.
They they were in the medical
establishment and accustomed to
confronting reality headon in some real
sense. And so when their mother died,
they marshaled together and they didn't
squabble and fight with each other and
they did what they could to make her
her deterioration as bearable as
possible. And because they saw in each
other the effects of the loss that they
shared, they got closer. And by the time
Tammy's mother died, the family had
tightened up to a much greater degree
than had been the case before the onset
of her illness. And so, one of the
things they benefited from because they
actually experienced in some real sense
the depths of their grief was a
compensatory tightening of the
relationships. And so something was
taken out of the family, a major
catastrophe, the loss of a mother, but
something non-trivial was gained. And
I'm not trying to say, well, that made
up for it, because nothing makes up for
the loss of someone that you love. Not
in any real sense, but you can do it
badly or you can do it well. And there's
a big difference between doing it badly
and doing it well. And so I think this
biatitude reflects that notion is that
the well the other thing too is that
mourning in the real sense is
proportionate to love. Right? The more
you love someone, the more you're going
to mourn. And then to mourn someone's
loss is also in in a paradoxical sense a
celebration of life. Because if you
allow yourself to be affected by the
disappearance of someone that you loved,
even if you had a somewhat ambivalent
relationship with them, which is often
the case with well family members for
example, you also you also signify to
yourself that in the depths of your
soul, you regarded their existence as
worthwhile in the most fundamental sense
and their loss, a true loss, despite
their inadequacies and their flaws and
yours as well. And maybe in some sense
even because of their inadequacies and
their flaws, you know, as my parents
have got older, because people get in
some sense more like they are as they
get older and and their horizons get
somewhat restricted, you know, and you
see your parents as they start to become
more fragile. And you see as well that
you care for them not despite their
idiosyncrasies but also because of them
because the idiosyncrasies make up part
of what they are. There's a nichian
quote which I really love. He said,
"Great men are seldom credited with
their stupidities." And his notion, and
Nze knew this very well, is that you
don't want to be thinking so certainly
that there's a virtue without a
corresponding vice, right? And that
something that you love about someone
might come along with an attendant
weakness that that's a necessary
precondition or an accompaniment for
that strength. And I would say that's
the same about you. And maybe you can
work on those weaknesses because you
have the strength and and and broaden
out your personality. And I I think you
can and I think you should. But it's
still the case that when you love
someone, you kind of take them you kind
of take them as a package. And maybe
that's in some way I don't mean an
all-encompassing and allforgiving
judgmentless compassion, you know,
because you want to hold people to
standards as well because that's part of
love. But there is still that element of
liking them because of who they are in
all their peculiarity, right? As well as
their possibility. And so blessed are
the meek, for they shall inherit the
earth. That's a re-representation of the
poor in spirit idea there is that to be
meek again isn't uh I've I've read
multiple translations of that word and
meek can mean
what would you say it means not arrogant
and narcissistic that's the best way of
thinking about it and there's another
way of attacking that that's a very deep
idea too so the notion of Lucifer
there's very little discussion of the
nature of the satanic spirit in the
biblical corpus really a few lines
almost nothing almost the whole idea
that there's a adversarial entity a
satanic entity or luciferian entity is
sort of in the cloud of dreamlike
imagery and story that surrounds the
biblical corpus so it's material
literary material in a real sense
outside of the biblical writings it's a
it's a figment of the imagination so to
speak which doesn't mean it isn't real
by the way um the luciferian spirit that
this is Milton. Milton developed this
idea more than anyone else. He believed
that it was the untrabled arrogant
intellect that insists that its rational
presumptions are 100% correct. And so
you could think of the Luciferian. So
Milton portrayed Lucifer as the highest
angel in God's heavenly hierarchy gone
most catastrophically wrong. Lucifer
means lightbringer and Lucifer was
represented as the spirit of the
intellect and that's in some sense
that's rationality itself. But it's not
just rationality. It's the rationality
that falls in love with its own
pretensions and then elevates them to
the status of God. And that's the story
of the Tower of Babel, for example. So
when the people who build the Tower of
Babel build it, they build a structure
that attempts to replace God. And the
consequence of that is that no one can
communicate with one another anymore
because fundamental categories become
questionable which is by the way exactly
what's happening right now. And Babel
referred to Babylon which was an empire.
But the word Babel is also derived from
the Babel of unintelligible speech is
also derived from the same root as the
Tower of Babel. And so it's
authoritarian presumption that reduces
utterances to meaninglessness. And
certainly totalitarian presumptions do
that because in a totalitarian state,
every word everyone says is a lie. And
that's what makes it a totalitarian
state. And that's true of everyone,
right? Parents lie to their children,
children lie to their parents, wives lie
to their husbands, husbands lie to their
wives. Everyone lies about everything
all the time. And that's why it's a
totalitarian state. And so no one ever
says anything that's real or true. and
no one can communicate. And the
Luciferian spirit is behind that. And
that's the spirit that wants to not open
itself up to continued revelation from
the transcendent, let's say, but to
insist that what is already known is all
that needs to be known and more more
importantly all that is morally allowed
to be known. And you see that again
playing out in the culture war where
what we see now is that if you think
certain things that aren't canonically
correct, not only are you wrong, but
you're basically immoral and and worse,
right? You're predatory or and worse.
You're positively demonic. And that's a
complete inversion of the actuality of
the situation because you should be
holding your knowledge lightly because
what the hell do you know unless your
life is perfect and you're a shining
light on the hill and so you should
always be looking for corrective from
what's transcendent. And so one of the
things I realized recently it's quite a
frightening realization this is when I
mostly when I was talking to Richard
Dawkins because Dawkins is an atheist as
most of you know. So he doesn't believe
in a transcendent deity, but Dawkins
believes in a transcendent object.
And this is very interesting. So he
believes in a transcendent. So what
would a transcendent object be? Well,
imagine you're a scientist, right? And
you have a theory about the way the
world is. And you could think about that
as a tower of babel. It's a set of
presumptions about reality itself. But
if you're a real scientist, you don't
believe in your theory. You believe that
there's an object, a transcendent object
that you do not understand which is
outside the confines of your theoretical
presuppositions and if you match the
theory against the transcendent reality
which you cannot detect by the way,
right? Because it's outside of your
conceptual framework. So it only exists
in possibility. If you match that theory
against the transcendent object, it will
correct you. And I think that's the same
idea as a transcendent deity. It's at
least shares the notion that there's
something well that there's an objective
reality, but it's not objective. It's
transcendent because it's outside of
your epistemological frame, right?
Epistemological frame would be your
philosophical and conceptual frame. And
so I think I don't know if this is true,
but it could be true. It's possible that
the reason that science developed in the
west was because we developed the notion
of a transcendent reality and
instantiated that very deeply in our
culture and once that had been
instantiated that you could exist in a
relationship say of truth in
relationship to the transcendent. We
could also use that on the material
world and it also turned out to work
there and and there's an interesting
correlary of that too which is that the
Nietian death of God which is the death
of the transcendent deity might also be
the death of the transcendent object and
you certainly see that playing out with
the postmodernists because they
basically make the claim that there's no
territory there's just different maps
there's no transcendent reality even on
the objective front which is why you see
things like the decolonization of
science and the insistence that the
scientific ific enterprise is nothing
but a a variant of the oppressive
maneuvering of the power structure or
something like that. It's not any real
attempt to contact something genuine on
the ontological front. So that's the
study of reality itself because there is
nothing genuine there and if you think
there is that's just a index of the
depth of your willingness to use your
own delusions to oppress other people.
That's a hell of an accusation, you
know, both on the theological and the
scientific front. And so it could be
that if we lose our humility in the face
of the transcendent, we'll also lose the
transcendent object in science itself.
And no one no one saw that coming. But I
think not only is it a possibility, I
think that's exactly what's playing out
right now. And so science, there's no
reason to assume that's not a fragile
enterprise. It's only 500 years old in
in the formal sense. I mean, you could
trace it back to the Greeks if you
really want to push it, but
fundamentally it's 500 years old. That's
not very old. That's like that's not
even yesterday. That's like 2 minutes
ago. And it only emerged in in our
scientific culture. It never emerged
anywhere else. And we don't know the
preconditions for its emergence or its
maintenance, but belief in the
transcendent object certainly seems to
be one of them. You know, one of the
things I liked about Dawkins and I like
about the scientific atheists in general
is that most of them are actually
scientists. Dawkins is a real scientist
and he that means also that he believes
that the truth will set you free because
he wouldn't be so aciduous in his
pursuit of the truth if he hadn't
accepted that as a metaphysical axiom. I
tried to torture him a bit about that
and we've got a little ways on it, but
he believes like most of the atheist
types believe that you can have a hunger
for truth outside the framework of a
Judeo-Christian morality. And I'm not so
sure that's true, but he thinks it is.
And he might be right, but but he isn't. [snorts]
[snorts] [laughter]
[laughter]
as he's finding out as the scientific
enterprise collapses around him and all
the atheist humanists who were supposed
to be rationalists degenerate into
post-modern woke idologues. And he
suffered a fair bit on that front
already. And so, you know, cuz his dream
was, well, we'll shed the shackles of
superstition and we'll all be enlightened
enlightened
Renaissance rationalists. Like, no,
we'll just be way crazier than anything
you've ever seen. And that seems first
of all it's the most likely outcome
because it's really hard to be a trained
scientist. Like it takes you 10 years of
practice to really think like a
scientist. And then if you take all
those scientists that have practiced for
10 years only a real tiny subset of them
can really think like scientists. It's
really really hard to learn that. And so
the probability that what's interfering
with that primarily is just the
hangovers of our superstitious past.
It's like, you know, that's part of it,
I suppose, but it's not very much of it.
It's a way worse problem than that.
Blessed are they which do hunger and
thirst after righteousness, for they
shall be filled. Well, that's a lovely
idea. It's that it's another variant of
the knock and the door will open notion
is that well if you want righteousness
righteousness
whatever that means well what would that
be to walk the proper path and so you
might say well do I want to walk the
proper path that's the first thing you
have to figure out and you got to think
well why wouldn't I and the answer would
be because you're bitter and resentful
and you'd rather aim down and you don't
want the responsibility and maybe not
only that you want to pretend that
you're good so that you get all the
benefits of being good without having to
do any of the work. So those would be
the fundamental impediments. And if you
don't think they're in you, you have not
looked cuz they're definitely in you.
And so you got to shed that and and you
got to think through, do you really want
to carry that along with you? And then
you want to walk the righteous path.
Well, you better discover what it is.
And that's going to be hard because it's
probably not the path you're on. And you
can feel that out to some degree. You
know, one of the things I learned and
that I've tried to teach people is that
if you pay attention to what you say,
and I really mean attention, not think
about it. I mean attend, attend is an
opening to to watch and to be receptive.
That's why the eye of Horus was a
redemptive figure for the Egyptians and
not the rational spirit, the luciferian
rational spirit. It's attention. If you
pay attention to what you say, you can
feel whether you're making yourself weak
or strong with every word. And then you
can decide
to stop saying things that make you weak.
weak.
And then you can practice that. And that
works. And so that's one way of sort of
feeling out the righteous path. It's
like, well, is is this the right pathway
forward? You know, you do that when you
meet someone and you're trying to feel
out how to have a relationship with
them, right? You're you're dancing with
them and you're seeing does this work
and not instrumentally, but if you're if
you're doing it genuinely, learning how
to play with them, you you test it out
and you see you do that with a dog in a
park to see what the pathway is. And you
do that in an embodied sense, not just a
rational sense. And so to tread the path
of righteousness is to first of all
orient yourself so you want that. And
one way of doing that is to think of the
alternative, you know, because pasts
that aren't righteous lead to hell. And
that's if you don't know that's worse
than death, there's lots of things you
still don't know. And so you really want
to ask yourself if that's the path you
want to be on, path that's associated
with deceit. That's definitely the
pathway to hell because that's the
totalitarian path. And if the pathway
isn't informed by love, then it's
neutral or it's informed by hate. And
it's hard to see how that's unless you
want hate. And you can have your reasons
for that. But um you just it's very
difficult to to think to believe in any
fundamental sense that that's that's
going to do you any good or anyone else.
You might have dispensed with the desire
to do good. That happens. But that's not
my point. My point is if you do want to
do good, almost no one thinks you get
there with lying and hate. So,
and so this biatitude basically claims
if you want it then you can have it but
but there's a cost because the question
is what do you mean want? And that's why
the sacrificial motif that runs through
the biblical corpus is so important
because to want something means to work
for it and to work for it literally
means to make sacrifices because work is
a sacrificial enterprise. And you say
well what what do you mean by that? It's
like, well, work
sacrifices the present for the future.
If that isn't what you're doing, you're
not working. You might be playing, maybe
even have a job that's play, you know,
but it's not real work. You're just so
fortunate that you found something you
can play at that actually provides you
with economic sustenance, but very often
you have to work in order to make ends
meet, right? And you do that by
sacrificing the short-term hedonic
pleasure of the present to the medium
and long-term stability of the future.
And and that's can be very effortful and
responsibility laden. Um but it but it
but it works. And
and then the question I suppose and this
is a question that's posed it starts to
be posed right in the early opening uh
stories in the in the biblical corpus.
What should you make sacrifices to? And
the the lurking idea here is
righteousness. And so imagine you're
trying to decide what's worth giving up
your selfish short-term pleasures in
service of. And then we're back into the
same problem we started with. Well,
what's what's worth making sacrifices
to? Or more importantly even, what
spirit should you be making sacrifices
to? And that's the question of God. And
you might think, well, that I don't
believe in God. And I would say that's
completely irrelevant in some
fundamental sense because if you're not
making sacrifices,
you're at best useless. At worst, you're
harmful. And
you're chaotic
and anxietyridden, seeker after trivial
pleasures. That's you. And that's and
then you're making sacrifices anyways
because now you're sacrificing the
future to the present instead of the
reverse. So there's no way out of the
sacrificial paradox. There's only a
matter of getting it right. And then the
question is, well, what's worth the
ultimate sacrifice? Because you're going
to have to make that. Everything you
have, everything you hold, you're going
to lose. And then the question really
the question comes up, what could
possibly justify that? And the answer
might be nothing. Right? That would be
the fundamentally pessimistic answer.
But you could always pose it as a
question to yourself, right? You could
take it seriously. I'm going to lose
everything. All right. So, given that
that's the case, how might I live? And
it seems hopeless. I'm going to lose
everything. Why would I live at all? But
it's possible if you actually asked
yourself the question, you could find an
answer to it. And I I do believe you
can. You know, when people when someone
my age, because I'm getting older, I
look back on my life, I think that was
worth it, you know, and it's often
something that took a fair bit of
struggle to manage. But I think in
retrospect, yeah, but it was worth it.
And that's a hint in the right
direction, isn't it? Because if it's
difficult and demanding
and you do it in the face of your
mortality and your insufficiency and
your judgment on that in retrospect is,
yeah, but that was worth it, then you
actually found a solution to the
problem. One of the things I really
liked about the biblical corpus,
especially the story of Abraham, but you
see it in the story of Moses as well, is
there's this idea that it isn't
happiness that redeems you. It's proper
sacrifice. But there's more to it than
that. What redeems your life is the
adventure of your life. It's not
happiness. It's not ease or security.
It's not freedom from anxiety or even
privation. None of that. In fact, those
experiencing those in the proper
proportions might be a precondition to a
full life, right? to putting yourself in
a position where you actually have
something to lose and both risk and
experience loss because nothing
ventured, nothing gained, right? And so,
but I do think that I do think that that
it strikes a deep chord in people when
you say you could have the adventure of
your life and that would be so
magnificent. It could be so magnificent
that it would justify the catastrophe of
your life or you could even put it
forward as a challenge. is like, could
you conjure up an adventure for your
life that's so magnificent that it would
justify the catastrophe of your life?
And the answer is, well, we'll see what
you do with your life because you
literally answer that question. You
literally answer that question with your
life. And here's something else to think
about that I think that's so
interesting. So in the the force that
God uses at the beginning of time to
conjure habitable order the habitable
order that is good out of potential
that's the word and the word is all is
directed towards love in the sense that
we've already described but it's also
the truthful word and so truth is
subordinate to love in that sense so
then you might say well how to think
about truth and so imagine that oh I
don't know maybe you're out on a date
and you're trying to manipulate the
person that you're with into bed with
you for some short-term hedonic
gratification. And so you're trying to
craft yourself so you're maximally
attractive to attain that short-term
end. And so it's not you that's talking, right? It's this little fragment of
right? It's this little fragment of yourself that's possessed by this
yourself that's possessed by this desire. And now you're twisting and
desire. And now you're twisting and bending your words to attain that
bending your words to attain that desire. You might say, "Well, I lonesome
desire. You might say, "Well, I lonesome and I'd like to be with someone." And so
and I'd like to be with someone." And so that's perfectly justifiable. But the
that's perfectly justifiable. But the problem with that, here's the problem. I
problem with that, here's the problem. I thought about this in relationship to
thought about this in relationship to these guys in colleges. Now, there's a
these guys in colleges. Now, there's a small percentage of people, men in
small percentage of people, men in female dominated colleges, who basically
female dominated colleges, who basically have their selection of sexual partners
have their selection of sexual partners because there's a shortage of men. And
because there's a shortage of men. And there's a tiny fraction of that shortage
there's a tiny fraction of that shortage of men who are popular. And so, they can
of men who are popular. And so, they can engage in repeated short-term hydonic
engage in repeated short-term hydonic sexual interactions. And so, why not?
sexual interactions. And so, why not? What a deal. Except, well, what are you
What a deal. Except, well, what are you learning?
learning? Exactly. Like, are you learning a
Exactly. Like, are you learning a variant of psychopathic instrumental
variant of psychopathic instrumental manipulation
manipulation because you just treat the other person
because you just treat the other person as if they're a target for one
as if they're a target for one interaction that's not repeated. And
interaction that's not repeated. And that's a recipe for psych for learning
that's a recipe for psych for learning how to be a psychopath. That's for sure.
how to be a psychopath. That's for sure. And so, so you get what you want, but
And so, so you get what you want, but what the hell do you know about what you
what the hell do you know about what you want? That's the big issue here. It's
want? That's the big issue here. It's like unless you're 100% reliable and
like unless you're 100% reliable and you're not, your conception of what
you're not, your conception of what might constitute the optimal future is
might constitute the optimal future is likely to be warped. And so that doesn't
likely to be warped. And so that doesn't mean you shouldn't make plans. It
mean you shouldn't make plans. It doesn't mean you shouldn't have a vision
doesn't mean you shouldn't have a vision and lift your eyes up, but you have to
and lift your eyes up, but you have to do that given your sense of your own
do that given your sense of your own inadequacy. And so then you might say,
inadequacy. And so then you might say, well, why don't you just give all that
well, why don't you just give all that up and just say what you believe to be
up and just say what you believe to be true. And then what you find is that's
true. And then what you find is that's an adventure because if I tell you only
an adventure because if I tell you only what I think you want to hear, I might
what I think you want to hear, I might be able to manipulate you to do what I
be able to manipulate you to do what I want. Right? And that could be true in
want. Right? And that could be true in business and it could be true in my
business and it could be true in my family. And then I maybe I even have a
family. And then I maybe I even have a slightly higher chance of getting what I
slightly higher chance of getting what I want. Although I think that's debatable
want. Although I think that's debatable because people see through that pretty
because people see through that pretty quickly if they have any wisdom. But if
quickly if they have any wisdom. But if I just tell you what I think then I have
I just tell you what I think then I have no idea what's going to happen. None. It
no idea what's going to happen. None. It might be good, might be bad. It might be
might be good, might be bad. It might be good bad and then good. That's happened
good bad and then good. That's happened to me a lot. It was like really bad and
to me a lot. It was like really bad and then it was good. And so I kind of
then it was good. And so I kind of learned to live through the desert part
learned to live through the desert part of that and to get to the positive part.
of that and to get to the positive part. And you know, it shook my faith in the
And you know, it shook my faith in the truth to some degree because got me in a
truth to some degree because got me in a lot of trouble to say what I actually
lot of trouble to say what I actually thought. But I found that if I didn't if
thought. But I found that if I didn't if I was careful to begin with and if I
I was careful to begin with and if I didn't backtrack,
didn't backtrack, things would turn eventually. It was not
things would turn eventually. It was not so fun while they were turning, you
so fun while they were turning, you know, and it wasn't necessarily the case
know, and it wasn't necessarily the case that they were going to. But there's
that they were going to. But there's something deeper in that.
something deeper in that. Imagine that you want to have the
Imagine that you want to have the adventure of your life. Okay? Now,
adventure of your life. Okay? Now, imagine you're losing using lies to
imagine you're losing using lies to manipulate yourself and other people.
manipulate yourself and other people. Well, those lies aren't you by
Well, those lies aren't you by definition, right? They're they're not
definition, right? They're they're not the real you. That's what makes them
the real you. That's what makes them lies. And so, if your lies work, the
lies. And so, if your lies work, the thing that's succeeding is not you. And
thing that's succeeding is not you. And then you might ask yourself, well, who
then you might ask yourself, well, who or what is the prince of all lies? And
or what is the prince of all lies? And what makes you think that that's not
what makes you think that that's not what's succeeding when you get your
what's succeeding when you get your short-term way? And if you think about
short-term way? And if you think about that deeply enough for a while, then
that deeply enough for a while, then that's one of the things that can scare
that's one of the things that can scare you straight. Think, well, if I say what
you straight. Think, well, if I say what I believe to be true, or at least don't
I believe to be true, or at least don't lie because you can at least start with
lie because you can at least start with that. Then at least it's you, right? And
that. Then at least it's you, right? And maybe you're not very good at it to
maybe you're not very good at it to begin with, and so you get hammered
begin with, and so you get hammered pretty hard, but then it's you getting
pretty hard, but then it's you getting hammered, too, you know? And if you if
hammered, too, you know? And if you if you hammer metal carefully enough, you
you hammer metal carefully enough, you can make something beautiful out of it.
can make something beautiful out of it. And so if you tell the truth, this could
And so if you tell the truth, this could e this could literally be the case is
e this could literally be the case is that the way you have the adventure that
that the way you have the adventure that justifies your life is by telling the
justifies your life is by telling the truth. And then you might think, well,
truth. And then you might think, well, would you how could it be any other way,
would you how could it be any other way, right? It's one of those things that
right? It's one of those things that once you lay it out, you think, well,
once you lay it out, you think, well, that has to be the case because if
that has to be the case because if you're not telling the truth,
you're not telling the truth, it's not you. If it's not you, then
it's not you. If it's not you, then you're definitely not having the
you're definitely not having the adventure of your life. And you know
adventure of your life. And you know perfectly well that telling the truth is
perfectly well that telling the truth is an adventure because the reason most of
an adventure because the reason most of the time you don't tell the truth is
the time you don't tell the truth is either because you want to manipulate
either because you want to manipulate people or you don't want to have the
people or you don't want to have the consequence of telling the truth. So you
consequence of telling the truth. So you just sugarcoat it or you put it away or
just sugarcoat it or you put it away or whatever. So you're actually denying
whatever. So you're actually denying yourself the adventure. And I can
yourself the adventure. And I can understand that right because how much
understand that right because how much bloody adventure do you need? But but
bloody adventure do you need? But but that is an open question you know like
that is an open question you know like what are we rabbits? Are we adventurers
what are we rabbits? Are we adventurers on the high seas? You know, maybe we're
on the high seas? You know, maybe we're adventurers on the high seas and maybe
adventurers on the high seas and maybe that's where life is really to be had.
that's where life is really to be had. And so when you sherk away from that
And so when you sherk away from that adventure, you could easily be sherking
adventure, you could easily be sherking away from the destiny that stops you
away from the destiny that stops you from being bitter in the face of your
from being bitter in the face of your own mortality. That could easily be the
own mortality. That could easily be the case.
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