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6 Etiquette Mistakes That Quietly Make You Look Unclassy
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We tend to think etiquette is reserved
for weddings, fine dining, or some
impossibly old-fashioned tea party. But
real etiquette, it's quiet, daily, and
usually invisible until it goes wrong.
Most of us are breaking at least one
rule every single day. Not out of
rudeness, but because no one ever taught
us the elegant alternative. Today, we're
uncovering six basic etiquette rules
you're probably breaking without even
realizing it. Number one, saying I'm bad
with names like it's a cute personality
trait. It usually comes with a sheepish
little grin, as if forgetting someone's
name is somehow charming. I'm just
terrible with names, right? That's not a
personality quirk. That's an excuse.
Let's be honest. When someone introduces
themselves and 2 minutes later you're
calling them uh buddy, you're not being
relatable. You're being lazy. Names are
the first gift people give you. It's how
they say here I am. See me. Remember me.
Elegant people treat that like it
matters. No, you don't need a
photographic memory. You don't need
flash cards or pneummonic devices. You
just need to care enough to make an
effort. Repeat the name once naturally.
Use it during the conversation if it
fits. And when all else fails, write it
down. I once typed a person's dog's name
into my notes app because I knew I'd
forget it and didn't want to be the
person who says, "How's your pet?" 3
days later. And honestly, it worked.
They were shocked I remembered. But it's
not magic. It's manners. Because when
you remember someone's name, you tell
them they're worth the effort. And when
you forget it instantly, especially
after they just told you, it sends a
very different message. If your memory
genuinely betrays you, own it. Say, "I'm
so sorry. Could you remind me of your
name? I want to make sure I get it
right." That's humble. That's human. At
the end of the day, etiquette isn't
about perfection. It's about intention.
And learning someone's name, that's the
most elegant intention of all. Number
two, starting emails with hey or
skipping the greeting altogether. I know
we're all busy, but starting an email
with hey, or worse, launching straight
into your request without so much as a
good morning. Says a lot more than you
think. It says, I don't really see you.
I just need something now. I have a
colleague. Don't worry, he doesn't watch
etiquette videos. Who takes this to an
art form. He doesn't just skip the
greeting. He skips the entire body of
the email. He puts the whole message in
the subject line like he's writing a
ransom note. Move deadline to Friday.
And that's it. No hi, no punctuation,
just commands in caps. Then, because
that apparently wasn't disturbing
enough, he sends a WhatsApp 5 seconds
later just to announce he sent it. It's
a nightmare, a digital etiquette crime
scene. Elegant communication begins with
a pause, a breath, a touch of human
warmth. Dear, hello, or even just the
person's name followed by a comma.
That's how you set the tone because
nothing says I'm not that serious like
treating email like a group chat. You're
not being formal. You're being clear and
clarity is the ultimate courtesy. Number
three, answering the phone with yeah,
like you're being ambushed. Yeah. Hello.
Suspiciously, like the caller broke in
through a window instead of using a
phone. Phones ring at the worst possible
moments. I get it. But how you answer
says everything about your composure.
And some of us are out here sounding
like we've been emotionally taken
hostage by a ringtone. Now, let me be
extremely clear. Hello is perfectly
acceptable if said calmly, clearly, as
if you meant to answer. It's when it
comes out like a bark, a gasp, or a
confused question that it veers into
gremlin territory. And no, elegance is
not reserved for formal calls. You can
still sound gracious without sounding
like you're trying to sell insurance in
1953. The truly elegant person. Yes,
even the one working from a kitchen
table surrounded by laundry answers with
a soft hello or better good morning this
XY. It's not stiff. It's not scripted.
It's composed and it instantly elevates
how people treat you. You sound like
someone who has boundaries and a
calendar. A rare breed. And while we're
on the topic, can we talk about those
ringtone replacement services?
Apparently, some mobile carriers still
let you choose a song to play for the
person calling you. I once dialed a
professional contact and was greeted
with a full Beyonce chorus before the
phone even rang. Here's a rule of thumb.
If your ringtone sounds like a club
entrance, or worse, a breakup playlist,
you've already made it weird before even
saying hello. So, yes, your phone may
ring at inconvenient times. But an
elegant person never sounds shocked by
her own technology. They don't answer
like the building's on fire. They pick
up with poise or deny the call and
return it with dignity. Because power
isn't in volume, it's in tone. and tone
starts before you even say a word.
Number four, saying I'm fine when you're
clearly not. Or worse, the all caps,
fake smiling, jaw- clenched version, I'm
fine. It's one of the most common lies
we tell on autopilot. Someone asks how
we are, and instead of being honest or
even vaguely gracious, we default to
emotional autopilot. Fine. It's the
conversational equivalent of a locked
door. technically polite, emotionally
vacant, and everyone knows something's
off, but now no one knows what to do
about it. Here's the thing. Fine doesn't
make you seem strong or composed. It
makes you seem unavailable. And when
used habitually, it quietly trains
people to stop asking. That's not
mystery. That's distance. Now, this
doesn't mean you need to launch into a
TED talk about your inner turmoil every
time someone greets you. But there is an
elegant middle ground between
oversharing and stonewalling. Try this.
It's been a full day, but I'm glad to be
here. It's real. It's balanced, and it
keeps the rhythm of the conversation
without flattening your humanity. Being
composed doesn't mean pretending nothing
affects you. It means responding with
intention, even when things are a little
messy. True etiquette isn't about
playing emotional statue. It's about
offering something of yourself while
respecting the moment. So, yes, say less
if you need to, but say something that
actually connects because fine isn't
fooling anyone, and it never has. Number
five, introducing someone by their
relationship to you. It's the kind of
intro that sounds polite until you
actually think about it. This is my
cleaner. This is my intern. This is my
decorator. She's a genius with small
spaces. And suddenly, the poor woman
standing next to you is no longer a
person. She's a footnote in your
lifestyle flex. You might think you're
being helpful, giving context, maybe
even showing appreciation, but when you
lead with someone's function, you've
quietly pulled rank. You're the lead
character, their support staff. It's
subtle, but trust me, it's felt. I once
attended a dinner where a guest
introduced her plus one like this. This
is Olivia, my nutritionist. And Olivia,
who had a PhD, three languages, and the
patience of a saint, just smiled and
took a sip of wine, like she'd been
through this rodeo before. Meanwhile,
I'm sitting there thinking, "You invited
her and still made her sound like a
service provider with a side salad."
Elegant people don't do this. They
introduce others the way they'd want to
be introduced themselves by name with
warmth and without reducing anyone to a
bullet point on their LinkedIn. Try this
is Olivia, brilliant nutritionist. Even
better company. If it's relevant,
they'll reveal more. If it's not, no
one's dignity was harmed in the making
of the introduction. Because no matter
how expensive your shoes are, the way
you introduce someone tells us more
about your social intelligence than your
outfit ever could. It says, "I see this
person as a peer, not a prop." And also,
I understand that real class never needs
a power imbalance to make an impression.
Number six, holding your phone screen
face up on the table during a
conversation. It's silent. It's not
buzzing, but it's there, looming like a
digital third wheel. Even if you don't
touch it, the message is clear. I'm half
here. The rest of me is waiting for
something more interesting. Classy
people give presents. If you must keep
your phone out, place it face down or
off to the side, not like a ticking
emotional bomb next to your espresso.
So, how many of those six have slipped
into your day this week? No judgment,
just a quiet nudge, like real etiquette
always is. If you picked up something
new or unlearned a few bad habits, don't
forget to like this video, subscribe for
more elegant living tips, and check out
my Amazon storefront for the beauty and
daily essentials I actually use and
love. And tell me in the comments,
what's one tiny habit you're ready to
upgrade starting today. As always, stay
classy. Manners matters.
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