0:00 We tend to think etiquette is reserved
0:02 for weddings, fine dining, or some
0:04 impossibly old-fashioned tea party. But
0:06 real etiquette, it's quiet, daily, and
0:08 usually invisible until it goes wrong.
0:10 Most of us are breaking at least one
0:12 rule every single day. Not out of
0:14 rudeness, but because no one ever taught
0:16 us the elegant alternative. Today, we're
0:19 uncovering six basic etiquette rules
0:21 you're probably breaking without even
0:23 realizing it. Number one, saying I'm bad
0:26 with names like it's a cute personality
0:28 trait. It usually comes with a sheepish
0:30 little grin, as if forgetting someone's
0:32 name is somehow charming. I'm just
0:34 terrible with names, right? That's not a
0:37 personality quirk. That's an excuse.
0:39 Let's be honest. When someone introduces
0:42 themselves and 2 minutes later you're
0:44 calling them uh buddy, you're not being
0:47 relatable. You're being lazy. Names are
0:49 the first gift people give you. It's how
0:52 they say here I am. See me. Remember me.
0:55 Elegant people treat that like it
0:57 matters. No, you don't need a
0:59 photographic memory. You don't need
1:01 flash cards or pneummonic devices. You
1:04 just need to care enough to make an
1:05 effort. Repeat the name once naturally.
1:07 Use it during the conversation if it
1:09 fits. And when all else fails, write it
1:12 down. I once typed a person's dog's name
1:14 into my notes app because I knew I'd
1:16 forget it and didn't want to be the
1:17 person who says, "How's your pet?" 3
1:20 days later. And honestly, it worked.
1:22 They were shocked I remembered. But it's
1:24 not magic. It's manners. Because when
1:26 you remember someone's name, you tell
1:28 them they're worth the effort. And when
1:30 you forget it instantly, especially
1:32 after they just told you, it sends a
1:35 very different message. If your memory
1:37 genuinely betrays you, own it. Say, "I'm
1:40 so sorry. Could you remind me of your
1:42 name? I want to make sure I get it
1:44 right." That's humble. That's human. At
1:46 the end of the day, etiquette isn't
1:48 about perfection. It's about intention.
1:51 And learning someone's name, that's the
1:53 most elegant intention of all. Number
1:55 two, starting emails with hey or
1:57 skipping the greeting altogether. I know
1:59 we're all busy, but starting an email
2:01 with hey, or worse, launching straight
2:04 into your request without so much as a
2:06 good morning. Says a lot more than you
2:08 think. It says, I don't really see you.
2:11 I just need something now. I have a
2:13 colleague. Don't worry, he doesn't watch
2:15 etiquette videos. Who takes this to an
2:17 art form. He doesn't just skip the
2:19 greeting. He skips the entire body of
2:21 the email. He puts the whole message in
2:23 the subject line like he's writing a
2:24 ransom note. Move deadline to Friday.
2:27 And that's it. No hi, no punctuation,
2:30 just commands in caps. Then, because
2:33 that apparently wasn't disturbing
2:34 enough, he sends a WhatsApp 5 seconds
2:36 later just to announce he sent it. It's
2:38 a nightmare, a digital etiquette crime
2:40 scene. Elegant communication begins with
2:42 a pause, a breath, a touch of human
2:44 warmth. Dear, hello, or even just the
2:47 person's name followed by a comma.
2:49 That's how you set the tone because
2:50 nothing says I'm not that serious like
2:53 treating email like a group chat. You're
2:55 not being formal. You're being clear and
2:57 clarity is the ultimate courtesy. Number
3:00 three, answering the phone with yeah,
3:02 like you're being ambushed. Yeah. Hello.
3:04 Suspiciously, like the caller broke in
3:06 through a window instead of using a
3:08 phone. Phones ring at the worst possible
3:10 moments. I get it. But how you answer
3:12 says everything about your composure.
3:14 And some of us are out here sounding
3:16 like we've been emotionally taken
3:18 hostage by a ringtone. Now, let me be
3:20 extremely clear. Hello is perfectly
3:22 acceptable if said calmly, clearly, as
3:25 if you meant to answer. It's when it
3:27 comes out like a bark, a gasp, or a
3:29 confused question that it veers into
3:30 gremlin territory. And no, elegance is
3:33 not reserved for formal calls. You can
3:36 still sound gracious without sounding
3:37 like you're trying to sell insurance in
3:39 1953. The truly elegant person. Yes,
3:42 even the one working from a kitchen
3:44 table surrounded by laundry answers with
3:46 a soft hello or better good morning this
3:49 XY. It's not stiff. It's not scripted.
3:52 It's composed and it instantly elevates
3:55 how people treat you. You sound like
3:57 someone who has boundaries and a
3:58 calendar. A rare breed. And while we're
4:01 on the topic, can we talk about those
4:03 ringtone replacement services?
4:05 Apparently, some mobile carriers still
4:07 let you choose a song to play for the
4:08 person calling you. I once dialed a
4:10 professional contact and was greeted
4:12 with a full Beyonce chorus before the
4:14 phone even rang. Here's a rule of thumb.
4:16 If your ringtone sounds like a club
4:17 entrance, or worse, a breakup playlist,
4:20 you've already made it weird before even
4:22 saying hello. So, yes, your phone may
4:24 ring at inconvenient times. But an
4:26 elegant person never sounds shocked by
4:27 her own technology. They don't answer
4:29 like the building's on fire. They pick
4:31 up with poise or deny the call and
4:33 return it with dignity. Because power
4:35 isn't in volume, it's in tone. and tone
4:38 starts before you even say a word.
4:40 Number four, saying I'm fine when you're
4:42 clearly not. Or worse, the all caps,
4:45 fake smiling, jaw- clenched version, I'm
4:48 fine. It's one of the most common lies
4:50 we tell on autopilot. Someone asks how
4:52 we are, and instead of being honest or
4:54 even vaguely gracious, we default to
4:57 emotional autopilot. Fine. It's the
4:59 conversational equivalent of a locked
5:01 door. technically polite, emotionally
5:03 vacant, and everyone knows something's
5:05 off, but now no one knows what to do
5:07 about it. Here's the thing. Fine doesn't
5:09 make you seem strong or composed. It
5:12 makes you seem unavailable. And when
5:14 used habitually, it quietly trains
5:16 people to stop asking. That's not
5:18 mystery. That's distance. Now, this
5:20 doesn't mean you need to launch into a
5:21 TED talk about your inner turmoil every
5:23 time someone greets you. But there is an
5:25 elegant middle ground between
5:27 oversharing and stonewalling. Try this.
5:29 It's been a full day, but I'm glad to be
5:31 here. It's real. It's balanced, and it
5:34 keeps the rhythm of the conversation
5:36 without flattening your humanity. Being
5:38 composed doesn't mean pretending nothing
5:40 affects you. It means responding with
5:41 intention, even when things are a little
5:43 messy. True etiquette isn't about
5:45 playing emotional statue. It's about
5:47 offering something of yourself while
5:49 respecting the moment. So, yes, say less
5:51 if you need to, but say something that
5:53 actually connects because fine isn't
5:56 fooling anyone, and it never has. Number
5:59 five, introducing someone by their
6:01 relationship to you. It's the kind of
6:02 intro that sounds polite until you
6:05 actually think about it. This is my
6:07 cleaner. This is my intern. This is my
6:09 decorator. She's a genius with small
6:11 spaces. And suddenly, the poor woman
6:14 standing next to you is no longer a
6:16 person. She's a footnote in your
6:18 lifestyle flex. You might think you're
6:19 being helpful, giving context, maybe
6:22 even showing appreciation, but when you
6:24 lead with someone's function, you've
6:26 quietly pulled rank. You're the lead
6:28 character, their support staff. It's
6:30 subtle, but trust me, it's felt. I once
6:33 attended a dinner where a guest
6:34 introduced her plus one like this. This
6:37 is Olivia, my nutritionist. And Olivia,
6:39 who had a PhD, three languages, and the
6:42 patience of a saint, just smiled and
6:44 took a sip of wine, like she'd been
6:46 through this rodeo before. Meanwhile,
6:48 I'm sitting there thinking, "You invited
6:50 her and still made her sound like a
6:51 service provider with a side salad."
6:53 Elegant people don't do this. They
6:55 introduce others the way they'd want to
6:56 be introduced themselves by name with
6:59 warmth and without reducing anyone to a
7:01 bullet point on their LinkedIn. Try this
7:03 is Olivia, brilliant nutritionist. Even
7:06 better company. If it's relevant,
7:07 they'll reveal more. If it's not, no
7:10 one's dignity was harmed in the making
7:11 of the introduction. Because no matter
7:13 how expensive your shoes are, the way
7:15 you introduce someone tells us more
7:17 about your social intelligence than your
7:19 outfit ever could. It says, "I see this
7:21 person as a peer, not a prop." And also,
7:25 I understand that real class never needs
7:27 a power imbalance to make an impression.
7:29 Number six, holding your phone screen
7:31 face up on the table during a
7:32 conversation. It's silent. It's not
7:35 buzzing, but it's there, looming like a
7:37 digital third wheel. Even if you don't
7:39 touch it, the message is clear. I'm half
7:41 here. The rest of me is waiting for
7:43 something more interesting. Classy
7:45 people give presents. If you must keep
7:47 your phone out, place it face down or
7:49 off to the side, not like a ticking
7:51 emotional bomb next to your espresso.
7:53 So, how many of those six have slipped
7:55 into your day this week? No judgment,
7:57 just a quiet nudge, like real etiquette
8:00 always is. If you picked up something
8:01 new or unlearned a few bad habits, don't
8:04 forget to like this video, subscribe for
8:06 more elegant living tips, and check out
8:08 my Amazon storefront for the beauty and
8:10 daily essentials I actually use and
8:12 love. And tell me in the comments,
8:14 what's one tiny habit you're ready to
8:16 upgrade starting today. As always, stay
8:18 classy. Manners matters.
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