0:00 gaslighting gaslighting takes place when
0:02 someone seeks to make another person
0:04 doubt their own perception of reality
0:06 their own memory and their sanity the
0:08 term originates from a 1938 play called
0:11 Gaslight in which a husband manipulates
0:13 his wife into believing she is going
0:15 insane by dimming the gas lights in
0:17 their home and then denying that the
0:19 lights are flickering when she points it
0:20 out gaslighting undermines the victim's
0:23 confidence in their own judgment by
0:24 deploying confusing lies withholding
0:27 information and Shifting the blame onto
0:29 another person while at the same time
0:31 denying their side of the story and
0:32 claiming that what the other person is
0:34 saying is a lie guilt tripping guilt
0:36 tripping is when a manipulator makes a
0:38 victim feel bad about themselves their
0:40 actions or lack of action in a
0:42 particular situation for example if a
0:44 toxic and negative person isn't invited
0:47 to a friend's party and he finds out
0:48 about this he might say to the friend I
0:50 can't believe you didn't invite me to
0:52 your party I thought we were closer than
0:53 that to instill feelings of guilt and
0:55 ensure that he will be invited next time
0:57 isolation isolation is when a
0:59 manipulator cuts a victim off from their
1:01 friends or family making sure that no
1:03 support network exists to interfere with
1:05 the manipulator's plans a manipulator
1:08 does this by undermining the
1:09 relationship the victim has with their
1:11 loved ones and slowly turning them
1:12 against their friends and family by
1:14 convincing them that the people they
1:16 know aren't good for their well-being on
1:18 top of this a manipulator creates
1:20 dependency with their victim by making
1:21 them feel like they need their support
1:23 or approval instilling fear into the
1:25 victim so that they think they can't
1:27 survive without them this tactic is
1:29 often used by abusive Partners Cults and
1:31 online Predators love bombing love
1:34 bombing is a deceptive tactic where the
1:36 manipulator showers their victim with
1:38 affection attention and praise to make
1:40 them falsely believe that they are loved
1:43 using excessive compliments gifts and
1:45 frequent talks of extravagant future
1:47 plans together the manipulator expresses
1:49 intense emotions to make the victim feel
1:52 like they are the most important person
1:53 in their abuser's life when in reality
1:56 the only reason they are receiving such
1:57 false positivity is so that the abuser
1:59 can quickly gain as much power and
2:01 control as possible on top of this
2:03 people who love bomb to manipulate will
2:05 get the victim heavily attached to the
2:07 praise and then take it away at a
2:09 moment's notice to cause the victim to
2:11 Crave it and be more susceptible to the
2:13 abuser's requests historically speaking
2:15 it is said that Adolf Hitler used love
2:17 bombing techniques on his wife Eva Brun
2:19 to keep her close to him while he
2:21 pursued his destructive political
2:23 Ambitions playing the victim this is a
2:25 commonly used tactic that even
2:27 non-abusive or non-manipulative people
2:29 can ACC ly used to avoid taking
2:31 responsibility for something it is where
2:33 a manipulator acts like they are the
2:34 ones being wronged or hurt when in
2:36 reality they are the guilty ones by
2:38 blaming other people for their actions
2:40 and seeking sympathy through the
2:41 exaggeration of their problems all while
2:44 avoiding taking any responsibility and
2:46 admitting to their wrongdoing playing
2:48 the victim can be a very effective
2:50 strategy because it requires the other
2:52 person to attack the manipulator and
2:54 tell them that they are completely wrong
2:56 in order to attempt to regain control of
2:58 the narrative some something that most
3:00 people don't want to do threats or
3:02 coercion threats come in many different
3:04 forms firstly the obvious physical
3:06 threat of violence or damage to
3:08 someone's property if the victim doesn't
3:10 do exactly what the manipulator wants
3:12 then there's emotional threats such as
3:14 threatening to leave someone in a
3:16 relationship over a small or Petty Feud
3:18 or threatening to spread rumors about
3:20 someone that could damage their
3:21 reputation Financial threats are when
3:23 someone withholds financial support or
3:25 threatens their monetary stability which
3:27 hackers love to use against companies
3:29 when they successfully pull off a data
3:31 breach in fact this happened recently to
3:33 Colonial pipeline a major fuel pipeline
3:36 operator in the United States who was
3:38 targeted by a ransomware attack in which
3:40 hackers demanded a payment of $4.4
3:43 million in Bitcoin in exchange for the
3:45 decryption key financial threats can
3:47 also quickly turn into legal threats
3:49 with one party threatening to sue
3:51 another and finally there are social
3:53 threats in which a manipulator threatens
3:55 to damage the victim's reputation with
3:57 lies smear campaigns and slander which
4:00 we will talk about in more detail later
4:02 in this video Silent Treatment the
4:04 silent treatment is a form of
4:05 manipulation that typically takes place
4:07 in relationships but can also take place
4:09 in the workplace among friends and
4:11 online it's the practice of withholding
4:13 information or communication with an
4:15 individual as a form of punishment a
4:17 manipulator May withhold eye contact or
4:19 ignore their victim's presence and
4:21 existence entirely even when in the same
4:23 room as them as a controlling tactic it
4:26 is very similar to ghosting ghosting is
4:28 a very similar treatment into the silent
4:30 treatment as both tactics involve a lack
4:32 of communication between the manipulator
4:34 and the victim however the main
4:36 difference is that while the silent
4:37 treatment is used for punishment and
4:38 control ghosting is seen as a passive
4:40 and disrespectful way to end a
4:42 relationship or friendship permanently
4:44 while ghosting is not always used as an
4:46 intended form of manipulation it does
4:48 lead to a lack of closure causing the
4:50 victim to feel rejected abandoned and
4:52 Confused shaming shaming like threats
4:55 comes in many different forms firstly
4:58 there is public humiliation where a
4:59 manipulator makes negative comments
5:01 about a victim in front of other people
5:03 or online in order to embarrass them a
5:05 manipulator May compare the victim un
5:07 favorably to other people make them feel
5:09 inadequate and inferior blame them for
5:11 their own actions mock them to make them
5:13 feel foolish and ridiculous or openly
5:16 exclude them from social activities and
5:18 events triangulation this is a tactic in
5:21 which the manipulator brings in a third
5:23 party to create jealousy or competition
5:25 within the victim creating a feeling
5:27 that they need to compete for the
5:28 manipulator's attention the manipulator
5:30 may use the third party to make the
5:32 victim feel jealous by flirting with the
5:33 third party and spending more time with
5:35 them intentionally excluding the victim
5:37 from their activities the manipulator
5:39 feeds the idea of competition in the
5:41 victim's mind sometimes by even
5:43 spreading rumors about the victim to the
5:45 third party to turn them against each
5:46 other and create even more conflict all
5:49 of this puts the victim in a state of
5:50 mind where they are much easier to be
5:52 controlled by the manipulator or even by
5:54 the third party aggressive jokes jokes
5:56 can often hold much deeper meanings and
5:58 intentions being used to manipulate a
6:00 victim in several different ways writer
6:02 Shaha Arabi discusses this in their
6:04 article Thought Catalog writing that
6:07 quote covert narcissists enjoy making
6:09 malicious remarks at your expense these
6:11 are usually dressed up as just jokes so
6:14 that they can get away with saying
6:15 appalling things while still maintaining
6:17 an innocent cool demeanor yet anytime
6:19 you are outraged at an insensitive harsh
6:22 remark you are accused of having no
6:23 sense of humor these jokes go far past
6:26 the line taking insults sarcasm gas
6:29 slighting and exclusionary jokes to a
6:31 wildly different level then there are
6:33 jokes that take place at social events
6:35 that are designed to isolate the person
6:37 on the receiving end of them turning
6:38 them into the perceived fool and causing
6:40 everyone around them to become an
6:42 aggressor emotional blackmail emotional
6:44 blackmail is when the manipulator uses
6:46 threats guilt or other forms of
6:48 emotional manipulation to control and
6:50 manipulate the victim withholding
6:51 affection is a common tactic where the
6:53 manipulator seizes affection and support
6:55 to the victim until they comply with
6:57 their demands the manipulator may also
6:59 make make promises or commitments to the
7:00 victims only to break them later
7:02 projection projection is the act of
7:04 attributing your own thoughts and
7:06 feelings onto someone else making them
7:08 think they are guilty of what you feel
7:10 or have done this is also known as
7:12 victim blaming manipulators often blame
7:14 their victims for doing things they are
7:16 guilty of while at the same time failing
7:18 to realize the correlation between their
7:20 accusations against other people versus
7:22 their own actions deflection is another
7:24 tactic that manipulators use and it's
7:26 very similar to projection however
7:28 usually in deflection the manipulator is
7:30 fully aware of their own hypocrisy and
7:32 is deflecting it to someone else to
7:33 avoid facing responsibility whereas in
7:36 projection the manipulator lacks
7:37 self-awareness and is subconsciously
7:39 Shifting the blame smear campaigns the
7:41 awareness of smear campaigns has become
7:44 a heavily discussed Topic in recent
7:46 years unlike many of the other
7:47 manipulation tactics we've discussed in
7:49 this video so far smear campaigns aren't
7:51 usually deployed by One Singular person
7:53 against another instead politicians and
7:55 celebrities frequently accuse the media
7:57 and the general public of tarnishing
7:59 their name and image for money and
8:00 attention by participating in smear
8:02 campaigns against them smear campaigns
8:05 involve the use of spreading rumors and
8:07 gossip about the victim to make them
8:08 appear untrustworthy and unreliable
8:11 Often by intentionally misrepresenting
8:12 their words and twisting their intended
8:14 meanings to fit a specific agenda
8:16 character assassination is a big part of
8:18 a smear campaign because if the victim
8:20 seems immoral or unethical any attack
8:23 used against them can be easily
8:24 Justified Michael Jackson is one
8:26 celebrity who frequently called out the
8:28 media for making him a appear like a
8:29 pedophile causing many people to
8:31 brutally attack him in their minds he
8:33 was a pedophile so any tactic used
8:35 against him was fair and righteous
8:37 Donald Trump is another celebrity and
8:38 politician who spent his 2016 US
8:41 presidential campaign almost exclusively
8:43 calling out the media and their attacks
8:45 against them support for both of these
8:46 individuals remains heavily divided but
8:48 regardless of what you personally think
8:50 about either of them their Wars against
8:51 the Press are two alleged examples of
8:54 smear campaigns against one person
8:56 Shifting the goalposts Shifting the
8:57 goalposts is a common tactic used in
9:00 arguments where the manipulator changes
9:02 their criteria or standards for success
9:04 and achievement in order to avoid
9:06 admitting that they were wrong and
9:07 taking responsibility for something for
9:09 example let's say in a job a boss
9:11 promises their employee a raise if they
9:13 accomplish a specific task quickly but
9:15 then when that employee successfully
9:17 finishes that task on time the boss then
9:19 decides that they need to do three more
9:21 tasks to receive the previously promised
9:23 pay increase or let's say a parent
9:25 promises their child a reward if they
9:27 clean the house but then deny is giving
9:29 the reward because the kid didn't also
9:31 get high enough grades in class
9:33 something that wasn't previously
9:34 discussed changing the subject
9:36 manipulators love this quick tactic a
9:38 lot because the victim can very easily
9:40 fall for it unless they are quick enough
9:41 to call it out and keep the conversation
9:43 focused obviously there are varying
9:45 degrees of severity with this tactic as
9:47 well as a lot of the other tactics we've
9:49 discussed in this video however it's one
9:51 of many small tricks that if noticed can
9:53 lead to a victim questioning if there
9:54 are deeper levels of manipulation going
9:56 on at the same time playing on
9:58 insecurities manipulators love to
10:00 exploit their victim's fears and
10:02 anxieties by making them feel insecure
10:04 and uncertain about themselves as long
10:06 as their confidence is undermined they
10:08 will more than likely Fall prey to their
10:09 manipulator El Ron hubard the founder of
10:12 Scientology was a well-known historical
10:14 user of playing into people's
10:15 insecurities to get them to join his
10:17 cult he would Target people who were
10:19 lost and susceptible to his mental
10:20 paintings of personal transformation and
10:22 Enlightenment all while exploiting their
10:24 fears of the unknown world as well as
10:27 their fears of getting rejected by their
10:28 friends and family arguing that in
10:30 Scientology they would be accepted by
10:32 the world this made it very easy for him
10:34 to get tens of thousands of people to
10:36 submit to his teachings fake
10:38 moralization this tactic involves a
10:40 manipulator pretending to have high
10:42 moral standards and values in order to
10:44 gain power and control of others on
10:46 paper nobody likes an authoritative or
10:48 aggressive person leading them so of
10:50 course manipulators mask their true
10:52 intentions and behavior through various
10:54 methods such as through virtue signaling
10:56 by publicly supporting a cause or
10:58 charity in order order to gain Praise of
11:00 course manipulators that sit on the
11:02 moral High Ground engage in hypocritical
11:04 behavior all the time but unfortunately
11:06 it's up to the victim to pay attention
11:08 and call it out which is very difficult
11:09 to do in most situations making this not
11:12 an easy tactic to counter
11:13 infantilization whether it's through a
11:15 patronizing tone to make the victim feel
11:17 belittled and disrespected or intense
11:19 micromanagement of every aspect of their
11:21 victim's lives manipulators treating
11:23 their victims like children or infants
11:25 is done mainly for one reason power and
11:27 control being treated poorly by someone
11:29 else can cause a person to be incredibly
11:32 demoralized making it difficult for them
11:34 to muster The Willpower to stand up to
11:35 their abuser
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