0:01 I wanted to take you back to kind of
0:05 your earliest comedic days if if that's okay
0:06 okay
0:10 so how about the most memorable of those
0:13 and why well uh there was a lot of
0:14 drawing of
0:17 cartoons I had another friend who we
0:20 would draw cartoons and we would uh you
0:24 know compare them and and critique them
0:27 um I would love to have been a
0:30 cartoonist um I like it's it's simp
0:34 similar to uh standup it's a very
0:37 uh um pure kind of
0:40 exaggerated a reflection of Life
0:45 cartooning and um but I did do a
0:49 uh a ventriloquist act in a third in our
0:52 my third grade uh talent show and I
0:55 still have the dummy in my office you
0:57 know how your mother throws everything
0:58 out sure somehow this thing didn't get
1:01 thrown out and I still have it so you
1:04 would rate comedians on The Tonight Show
1:06 I I think back in the day when you were
1:09 I very uh judgmental of comedians from
1:11 the very beginning I would even as a
1:13 little kid I would go this guy's not
1:16 funny or this guy's really funny it was
1:19 funny because uh my daughter who was
1:24 also um very talented and and she's a
1:27 writer and uh does thinks about comedy
1:30 does writes comedy
1:34 and she started inhaling content at a
1:36 certain point in her life and I watched
1:38 her do it it was the same way I did it I
1:41 mean I six or five or six hours of
1:44 Television a day was an absolute minimum
1:46 for me and you said that's how you kind
1:48 of most learned about life that's how
1:49 you learned about how I learned about
1:51 life but that's how I really learned
1:54 about the all of the various structures
1:58 that make comedy work now I didn't know
1:59 it's it's funny when you look back on
2:01 your life and I didn't know that's what
2:04 I was doing right but I look back on I
2:06 go that's what I was doing I wanted to
2:09 know what is the structure of that joke
2:12 why did why is that joke funny and you
2:14 would write down jokes I would write
2:17 down all the jokes that I liked and then
2:20 you TV and I would take uh like laughing
2:24 was a really big deal in school in the'
2:26 60s when that came on cuz it was all
2:30 jokes so the kids loved it and the day
2:33 we would talk about the show and I never
2:35 wanted to forget one of the good jokes
2:38 so I would write them down September of
2:43 76 what was it about standing on that uh
2:46 Long Island Railroad platform in mapa
2:49 that really hit you I mean to this day
2:50 it was
2:53 like it's like
2:58 I I'm there you know uh I I often call
3:01 comedy uh in a aquarium it's an aquarium
3:04 and you're a tropical fish and when if
3:08 you can get in there um you go well this
3:11 is it this is the environment I can live
3:13 in this environment for the rest of my
3:16 life and
3:19 um avoid all the things of life I don't
3:22 want to do and do the one thing I do
3:24 want to do but but it wasn't as if you'd
3:27 made it big then I was making I think
3:29 $60 a week mcing which I thought I'm
3:32 going to live on $60 a week that that's
3:35 all I need but um it was just the idea
3:37 that now you could make this your
3:39 profession you have to understand I
3:42 wasn't one of those people who believed
3:43 I had
3:47 talent I didn't think I had Talent there
3:50 was one kid in at Queen's College we
3:53 would go watch comedians at the clubs
3:56 catch a rising star in the Improv and
3:59 one kid said to me I I bet you you could
4:01 do that
4:05 and I was all I ever wanted but I
4:08 wouldn't even say it out loud to anyone
4:11 but when he said that to me that was
4:14 like giving me permission to say I would
4:17 like to do that set the scene and tell
4:19 about the conversation you had with
4:23 Jackie a few weeks into Jackie Mason
4:28 yeah well so I'm doing comedy like two
4:31 weeks and
4:33 I'm at this club called the Golden Lion
4:34 Pub on West 44 Street which is really
4:37 just a restaurant and a bar and Tuesdays
4:39 and Thursday nights they would take out
4:42 one table and aim one of the lights in
4:45 the ceiling at the corner and uh
4:47 Broadway singers would sing a couple
4:50 songs and they would let comedians go on
4:52 and it was a couple hour show you could
4:54 do 15
4:57 minutes and um so I was just start I
4:59 didn't even have a shirt like this type
5:01 of I didn't have one I would just go on
5:05 in a T-shirt and jeans I was 20 years
5:08 old and uh Jackie Mason was in the
5:12 audience who was you know a gigantic
5:17 star in comedy even then and uh he says
5:19 come here I want to talk to you and he
5:23 takes me over to the bar and he says uh
5:27 you're going to be so successful at this
5:30 it makes me sick that was exactly what
5:34 he said and I was like you know and that
5:37 carried me probably for 5 years really
5:38 oh yeah cuz he was a professional
5:43 comedian right I was just you know I was
5:47 not someone I thought I was funny but I
5:49 thought everybody was funny all of my
5:52 friends were funny as funny as I was I
5:55 thought describe one of your first shows
5:58 that catch a rising star where you just
6:01 go blank well my first time I went on
6:06 stage I went blank you can't imagine
6:10 um what it feels like to step on a stage
6:12 as a comedian the very first time and
6:16 you don't know if you're funny or
6:20 not and when you watch other
6:23 comedians it seems like there's a funny
6:26 atmosphere in the room the audience
6:29 seems to be in the mood to laugh when
6:31 you watch a comedian right there they
6:34 clap as soon as the person walks out and
6:38 they seem almost giddy and when you walk
6:42 on stage that is not what's going on
6:45 that uh there's nothing going on it's
6:49 just dead quiet it's a
6:54 library and you learn over the years to
6:57 create you have to create that mood for
7:00 them but when you don't know that and
7:02 you walk on stage the first time and
7:05 it's just dead silence and the only
7:07 sound in the room is your voice your
7:10 shaky voice and these ideas that you
7:13 don't have any confidence
7:16 in and I got up there and it it it just
7:20 hits you like a train it's just oh this
7:23 is my hands are thinking yeah this is
7:27 way harder than I thought I thought
7:29 they're in the mood to laugh I'll say
7:31 some things that are kind of funny and
7:35 it'll be okay and it's not okay it is
7:38 not okay it's just dead
7:42 silent and I only was on stage for 2
7:44 three minutes my mind went completely
7:48 blank and uh then I didn't go on for I
7:51 think 6 months after that why so long
7:54 cuz I I thought I I need to write and
7:56 prepare something that I really know
7:59 what I'm doing when I get up there I
8:02 realized from that that oh this is way
8:04 harder than I thought I thought I'd be
8:08 on The Tonight Show in in a few weeks
8:10 that's how dumb I was me you obviously
8:13 ended up going on Carson a ton uh but
8:17 what about the fear of going on Carson
8:20 do you miss today that was abject Terror
8:23 standing behind that curtain um of The
8:26 Tonight Show in
8:30 1981 on May 6th
8:34 uh knowing that if I go out there and do
8:35 five minutes and it
8:40 works I'm I have a career and if I don't
8:42 I'm going back to the clubs for I don't
8:43 know how many
8:46 years which is okay but you know you
8:49 want to really be this thing you want to
8:52 be a professional comedian you ever see
8:53 those skiers in the Olympics when
8:55 they're standing there at the top of the
8:56 mountain and they got that stick in
8:59 front of their knees and you wonder what
9:02 does that feel like you know I know what
9:05 that feels like that the next 90 seconds
9:09 of my life is going to change my
9:13 life that's that's uh I don't need a lot
9:17 of that I've had that a few times your
9:19 mom was an orphan your dad left home he
9:21 was an orphan also what did each of them
9:24 tell you about their situations growing
9:26 up they didn't talk much about
9:30 it uh but there was a toughness
9:33 both growing up in orphanages or in my
9:35 father's case really just running from
9:39 apartment to apartment and why uh cuz
9:41 they had no money so it was a bunch of
9:45 kids it was a uh a home where they were
9:46 not able to
9:51 live uh for some uh bad reasons and so
9:54 they decided to set off on their own as
9:56 brother a group of brothers and
9:59 sisters so it was a lot of
10:03 Street hustling of selling whatever you
10:06 could get on the street and and usually
10:09 they could not make the rent and after 3
10:11 months they would just bolt and get
10:15 another place and so they were there was that
10:16 that
10:19 toughness um I was lucky to be around
10:21 that usually if the parents have a tough
10:24 life the kids's life is too easy and
10:27 they screw up and then their kids get
10:29 tough hopefully
10:31 you know it tends to be an up and down
10:34 cycle of of even in in culture you know
10:36 we're in the soft period now well and so
10:38 it wasn't like that for you so you've
10:41 spoken about how never correct me if I'm
10:42 wrong like never hugged you never told
10:46 you he loved you um never threw a ball
10:49 with you no um but there was a lot of
10:51 love in my house well and you said uh
10:53 like you and your sister and your
10:56 parents were almost like roommates in a
10:58 way and you called it you called it
11:00 complete neglect but in like the best
11:04 way possible neglect is how I was raised
11:07 but my parents were very loving but
11:09 parents in the 50s and 60s did not
11:11 express it outwardly like parents do
11:14 today there was no emotional hole in my
11:17 life that people love to say comedians
11:20 that's why they do this they they're
11:23 feeling some emotional need I have
11:27 always uh rejected that very uh strongly
11:29 what was the hardest part of that kind of
11:29 of
11:31 self-reliance there's nothing hard about
11:36 it I mean I knew I wanted to live a
11:38 difficult life I craved a difficult
11:42 circumstance what I don't know I don't
11:44 know but I think you just know it
11:46 sometimes when you're a kid I don't want
11:48 to I don't want to do anything
11:52 easy and I that's why when I found
11:56 standup and I I became that thing it was
11:59 I was so gratified and comfortable you
12:01 you you know how much difficulty is the
12:03 right amount for
12:07 you um too much is not good not enough
12:09 is not good there's a range that we all
12:14 seek as humans but you'll push it I'll I
12:15 will push it I think your mom was a
12:18 bookkeeper for a Time primarily a
12:20 housewife uh your dad was in World War
12:24 II in the Pacific he was supportive of
12:26 your ambition and uh he passed when I
12:29 think you were 30 right um somebody said
12:33 to you after his uh passing that now
12:36 your career is really going to take off
12:39 MH um explain that train of thought I
12:41 think sometimes you don't want to
12:44 surpass your father you feel bad you
12:49 feel uh bad about it you feel um
12:51 uncomfortable um
12:54 subconsciously the case for you too I
12:57 don't know maybe maybe I don't know he
13:00 had this box of jokes and uh you wrote
13:02 in Sign Language there's never been a
13:05 professional comedian with better stage
13:08 presence attitude timing or delivery um
13:10 elaborate on that if you don't mind I
13:14 mean uh he had it all as a as talk about
13:17 you know someone who was talented he
13:21 never had any opportunities or or venue
13:23 he told a Salesman he was a Salesman but
13:26 he told me he had thought about it uh
13:29 but didn't know you know there was no
13:31 now there's so many uh entry points to
13:33 be a comedian you go to a club there
13:36 audition night you know in in
13:39 1930 I I don't know how people did it I
13:41 guess they worked their way in
13:43 Vaudeville somehow but he never had that
13:46 opportunity but he had every possible
13:49 tool you could have and I I learned it
13:52 all from him I got the whole thing from
13:56 him how so well a lot of it's
14:00 genetic yes oh come on Grant
14:03 you can't uh deny that there's a genetic
14:07 component to this a genetic comedic sure
14:10 how do you make these calculations it's
14:14 in your brain that there's a uh a
14:18 processor to calculate what these lines
14:20 these words you know there the
14:29 precise and and you either get it right
14:32 and there's a big laugh or you miss a
14:35 word and there's dead silence and the
14:37 difference between those two
14:40 sounds is a lot of money you said your
14:43 mind works faster under pressure in what
14:46 ways is that evident to you things are
14:48 um happen on stage that do not happen
14:52 any place else in life you're you don't
14:54 even feel your feet when you're on stage
14:56 you don't you don't feel your body you
14:59 know you're you're kind of in hyperspace
15:01 the brain is is sped up because you're
15:05 in a fight ORF flight condition mhm you
15:08 know it's a very momentto moment
15:11 survival uh environment which is what
15:14 makes it so addictive you know it's it's
15:17 very adrenaline fueled I mean it's like
15:20 emergency room stuff you know it's like
15:25 uh Seal Team 6 you know um many many
15:27 years of doing
15:29 comedy uh I was talking a a comedian
15:30 friend of mine the other day we're
15:34 talking about how comedians handled the
15:39 pandemic so easily it was no problem
15:42 because our entire life is being thrown
15:45 into situations and going figure it out
15:48 right now and so even though the
15:50 pandemic was two years
15:53 long curveballs is like that's your your
15:57 whole life is a curveball I think it's
16:00 1993 Adam Sandler opening for you in
16:04 Boston you start a bit and somebody
16:07 yells from the the crowd and how does it
16:10 affect you I had this amazing bit about
16:13 weddings it was like uh it was fantastic
16:16 it was so long I covered everything it
16:17 was a great bit and I worked on and
16:20 worked on and I love developing and
16:23 polishing every little detail of a bit
16:26 so it takes me forever sometimes Years
16:28 Years um I was talking to Chris Rock
16:30 yesterday and he was telling me about
16:32 his last special he said I had three
16:34 jokes in there that I've worked on for
16:35 over 10
16:39 years and people don't understand that
16:41 about comedy how could what could take
16:43 10 years you know but it it can if
16:46 you're obsessive and
16:49 perfectionist um so anyway so I do the I
16:52 start into the bit and somebody yells
16:55 heard it you know and that was that was
16:58 a tough one I still think about it
17:01 really yeah it was like uh it was mean
17:05 it was true but you know I think now
17:07 audience is a little more
17:10 sophisticated that yeah these are these
17:13 are pieces that we work on for months
17:14 and months and months you don't do it
17:18 once and it works you know um every
17:21 scene you see in a movie they did that
17:23 18 times that was the one time it was
17:25 good that's what's in the movie you
17:27 don't see the other 17 same with comedy
17:29 I've done this bit 100 times and now
17:32 I've got it right but In fairness to you
17:34 even if you're performing a couple shows
17:36 in the same night at the Beacon Theater
17:38 40% of the material could be different
17:40 show show most of it's the same yeah um
17:43 what did the George Burns book teach you
17:46 love this business love it appreciate
17:48 enjoy it it's the greatest thing in the
17:52 world be happy be happy that you're
17:54 doing this and that's something you
17:56 should know that would be automatic that
17:59 would be natural but it's not cuz the
18:01 you get stressed over the anxiety and
18:03 where am I at and this person's doing
18:05 better than me and all the the the
18:09 frailties and foilables of of the of
18:10 Being Human what about on the writing
18:13 front though well he had this routine
18:14 where he would write two hours every day
18:17 with writers and they would work on
18:20 material for his ACT or whatever he had
18:23 coming up and I thought oh so you have a
18:26 regular routine of creating
18:29 material this piece of information
18:32 this discipline or this
18:34 understanding I I was in I was doing it
18:38 I would say maybe maybe eight months
18:39 maybe a
18:43 year when I realized oh this is all
18:47 about writing this whole racket is
18:52 writing and you be if you don't become a
18:56 real writer creating new material every
18:59 single day you're you're going to get
19:04 wasted like that I saw it happen uh to a
19:08 guy who was uh on The Tonight Show and
19:11 he was a smash hit his first show then
19:14 he came back to do a second one it's six
19:16 minutes of an appearance in those days
19:19 to do six great minutes on The Tonight
19:22 Show walking out as a complete unknown
19:27 and to kill them in 6 minutes you need
19:30 about 40 minutes minutes of material
19:32 that you're doing in a nightclub that
19:36 will distill down a six so then they
19:37 want him to come back in three months do
19:41 another six so he takes another six so
19:43 his first six is the best six right of
19:46 course and then the next six wasn't as
19:49 good and then he came back a third time
19:51 struggled and he was
19:55 gone and that's when I went oh I see
19:58 what's going on here now I see what what
19:59 this is
20:02 this is something that it's right or die
20:05 on the day you write something why will
20:07 you not talk to somebody on that day
20:10 about what you wrote because you don't
20:14 want to damage the accomplishment that
20:18 you that you did your work that day you
20:20 feel you will feel good that you did
20:22 your work and you don't want to you
20:25 always want to support that
20:28 motivation and if you think of something
20:30 and you think hey I think this is good
20:34 and you tell someone 99% they're going
20:36 to they're not going to react the way
20:38 you want and this is despite the fact
20:40 that you yourself will heavily critique
20:43 your work that's right it that doesn't
20:46 do you much good I don't judge the work
20:49 the audience does they they edit the
20:52 work I tell them here are all my here
20:55 are my 10 ideas yeah they tell me you
20:58 got two good ones out of that and you go
21:00 okay okay but if you like some of the
21:03 other ideas that's when you'll continue
21:05 working I will fight them sometimes I
21:08 had a bit about poker that they
21:12 hated and I got mad about it what do you
21:14 mean you got mad about it it made me mad
21:17 uh I actually did it on television
21:20 before it was ready and it bombed and I
21:23 got so mad that I thought first of all
21:24 why did you do that on television it
21:29 wasn't ready and it bombed and
21:32 I don't know I I this is these are the
21:35 ways in which I indulge myself I like I
21:37 believe in indulging yourself I like to
21:40 indulge myself in certain self
21:44 resentments and uh frustrations and go
21:46 you know what I really suck at that I'm
21:49 going to get great at that did it
21:52 eventually work it did but it took two
21:55 years it's about how I think poker is a
21:58 horrible thing you know the the mood in
22:01 this room is horrible why are we trying
22:04 to get our friends money these are our
22:06 friends why would we want their
22:11 money so you know it was a kind of a
22:14 subtle thing but I wanted to express
22:16 that I wanted people to understand how I
22:19 see this yes your hand's better than my
22:20 hand we shuffled the cards all the hands are
22:21 are
22:23 different of course some are better than
22:26 others they we mix the cards up what
22:33 so you know that's my perspective on
22:36 poker why will you sometimes count the
22:40 syllables oh it's the timing music you
22:42 have to you're you're attacking
22:47 someone's brain uh in in a uh it's very
22:49 much a martial art where you want to get
22:52 it into a vulnerable state attack it and
22:56 destroy it the it's uh comedy is a very
22:59 aggressive um art form
23:02 but you know I'm I'm I was just working
23:04 on this bit about artificial
23:07 intelligence and calling it intelligence
23:09 or smartness you
23:11 know it's like songwriting you know each
23:14 words have a feeli they they have a they
23:15 give you a feeling they have a sound
23:20 they have an edge um and uh you're
23:22 always seeking
23:24 that you know uh Bruce Lee used to talk
23:26 about that one in punch right it was
23:28 just one in for the like that into the
23:30 chest you know and comedy's like that
23:32 you're looking for that for that that
23:35 thing that just it has to hit it has to
23:38 have punctuation and Rhythm and flow and
23:41 comedy when it's good the audience just
23:43 they don't even know what's happening
23:44 you know you start a set and you don't
23:46 know even know it and you catch the
23:50 right Rhythm and it's it's over George
23:52 Shapiro mhm you've called it like a
23:55 marriage before uh somebody close to you
23:57 told me it was more like a fatherly
24:00 figure it was with your dad passing
24:02 young um how do you think George
24:06 influenced you he and I shared the joy
24:11 of Show Business life uh we care about
24:13 the show and we care about the dinner
24:15 that we're going to after the show
24:18 equally what are we eating George what
24:21 are we going to eat after this and we
24:24 both appreciated there was no angst
24:26 George had no angst I have no
24:30 angst uh things don't always go well but
24:33 we just feel like we're in Show Business
24:37 we're in heaven we're in heaven on Earth
24:38 most people in Show Business you
24:41 probably know by now you've talked to a
24:45 lot of them they're not even that happy
24:47 and they're in the greatest possible
24:49 life you can have a lot of them are
24:53 missable yeah to me that's a sin that's
24:57 a sin because it's it's such a beautiful
25:00 opportunity that you have but you and
25:02 George like could not have been more
25:05 different describe kind of the ways in
25:09 which he was this like cheerleader of
25:12 he's very emotive very warm and
25:15 welcoming amazing with people I am
25:18 always around people who are fantastic
25:20 with people cuz I am not you don't think
25:23 you are no I don't I I try but it's an
25:27 effort uh and I'm all my friends and my
25:31 wife uh uh are amazing with people so I
25:35 kind of like to be with them and they
25:38 kind of can interface and andage why do
25:40 you think that is with you you just
25:42 don't care I'm not interested I'm not if
25:45 someone wants to chat uh casually you
25:48 hate small talk I am my brain is like I
25:52 have to really think what do you say now
25:55 what boy it's chilly for late March
25:57 isn't it yeah what do you say what do
25:59 you say that's it's true it is chilly
26:02 for late March what what do he say about
26:06 that I don't know I don't know um but if
26:08 you want to talk about you
26:11 know can you believe they added two
26:14 months to that the calendar used to be
26:17 10 months and then they added to the two
26:20 Roman emperors okay now we're talking
26:23 about something now now I can talk but I
26:25 can't talk to you about how chilly it is
26:28 today it's unusually chilly for late
26:31 March on the sitcom front you turned
26:34 down 24 guaranteed episodes from a cable
26:37 network in favor of four from NBC
26:39 NBC
26:43 why cable well wasn't cable it was Fox
26:46 Fox was an upstart Network that seemed a
26:49 little not great and I wanted to be in
26:51 the majors I wanted to be in NBC I want
26:52 to I want to play Major League Baseball
26:55 so I was willing to hold out for for
26:57 Major League Baseball I I don't want to
26:59 be in the uh you know the South American
27:01 League or whatever it is was it a
27:04 no-brainer at the time for me yeah yeah
27:06 from what I understand on on Larry front
27:11 um he basically quit after getting kind
27:14 of the first set of notes from the every
27:16 season every season he quit and I just
27:17 would go
27:20 okay and then as we got closer to when
27:22 we had to start up again he would come
27:24 back well especially early on how did
27:27 you so quickly get to a place where
27:30 there wasn't the network involvement uh
27:34 BMW BMW was buying tons of spots on our
27:38 show because we attracted a
27:43 wealthy educated intelligent audience
27:46 and NBC after many meetings and many
27:50 thoughts went hey that's good business
27:53 we could make some money off of
27:55 this now anybody would know that but
27:58 back then you know Alf was the biggest
28:01 show on TV when I came on we want them
28:03 to do what we want them to do and if you
28:05 like it fine if you don't like it fine I
28:07 always figured it would be a very
28:09 obscure I thought it would be like spy
28:13 magazine just a small weird thing for a
28:14 very particular
28:17 audience but the actors changed uh
28:19 Michael Jason and Julia changed that entire
28:21 entire
28:24 Paradigm they changed that equation to
28:27 something else did the sitcom need to be
28:31 as time intensive as it was for you you
28:34 think in order for it to be that
28:39 good yeah once we got it to a certain
28:41 level we weren't going to let it
28:44 drop it that would have been devastating
28:47 for us we killed ourselves physically
28:50 killed ourselves I mean it
28:54 was you we were totally physically
28:57 exhausted for eight months of the year
29:00 totally you know Larry and I together
29:04 would sometimes write uh a 60-page
29:06 script in two days C me from wrong you
29:10 and Larry David would sometimes get into
29:13 big perhaps even screaming arguments
29:16 screaming argument he he he has said he
29:19 he would uh sometimes scream at you over
29:23 a single word no we never screamed okay
29:25 we would debate okay uh to
29:29 exhaustion and and uh
29:32 for the fun of it but like over a word
29:34 oh yeah whether it's your standup or
29:38 when to end the sitcom timing uh was
29:39 always incredibly important to you
29:42 what's the length to which you'll go in
29:45 your mind thinking about that I I just
29:49 love good timing I don't know why um people
29:51 people
29:56 um um today are so uh
29:59 disrespectful in in my view of
30:02 audience's feeling of timing uh you
30:06 watch movies that are clearly 20 minutes
30:09 long and you go didn't you watch this
30:12 with an audience and see how how it felt
30:15 can't you feel that you can you know uh
30:17 when I'm on stage you know my stopwatch
30:20 is always running and the length of that
30:23 show to me is I have to hit it within a
30:28 few minutes and 5 minutes over there no
30:30 good you take an hour and 10 minutes of
30:32 work and you add 5 minutes to the end of
30:35 it and they're like enough just shut up
30:37 already and they walk out like this
30:40 instead of wow that that felt great tell
30:44 about the little mule inside of you
30:47 named Artemis oh my friend Mario calls
30:50 me he said there's a mule inside of me
30:53 that he named Artemis it's just a mule
30:55 that just keeps
30:59 working emis pulls the cart
31:03 so I I am uh I I do like to pull the
31:05 cart I want to pull the card I don't
31:07 want to hang
31:11 out in fact I'm kind of uh off now for a
31:14 couple weeks and I really feel uh a
31:17 little uh uh not right okay so it's
31:20 funny you say that because uh I I pulled
31:22 a quote that you once gave that said I
31:25 get thrown off easily if I have one
31:27 weekend off from standup and I do
31:28 something weird
31:30 I completely forget who I am and what I
31:33 do for a living yeah yeah yeah you go
31:37 back on stage and well after the uh Co I
31:42 hadn't worked for two years and um and I
31:44 had done a standup special right before
31:47 Co so my whole Act was gone so I had to
31:49 start a new act and I hadn't been on
31:51 stage in two years and I would go to
31:53 clubs and I would watch people on stage
31:56 and go how how are they doing it where
31:58 do they get the guts to go up on stage
32:01 like that I literally it seemed like I
32:04 had to start from Total scratch but how
32:06 when you've been doing it for as long as
32:09 you have so let's say you didn't do any
32:12 exercise for 2 years and then you went
32:14 into a gym it would just
32:17 seem daunting right it takes a minute to
32:20 get back in the routine but then
32:24 once yeah but two years two years of
32:27 nothing just sitting imagine what it
32:30 would be like to go into a gym but stand
32:32 up the standup stage is even more
32:35 intimidating than a gym it's very
32:39 intimidating place and speaking of
32:42 exercise how about how Body for Life
32:45 impacted you well that was an exercise
32:48 program I found in a bookstore in
32:52 Milwaukee in uh
32:57 2004 and it was uh no that interval
33:01 training was new and uh it was very
33:04 painful type of training but very short
33:06 so that interested me cuz I didn't want
33:09 to spend a lot of time exercising and
33:12 the intense pain seemed interesting too
33:14 what do you mean seemed interesting I
33:17 like to be in a difficult
33:20 environment I don't know why because
33:22 pressure on the system is generally a
33:26 good thing I I just felt instinctively
33:28 I'm going to do better under pressure
33:30 and so you have a trainer um I think
33:34 Adam R yeah uh you'll do 3 days of
33:37 cardio 3 days of weights I I do
33:39 something every day so what is like the
33:42 typical routine exercise is so unfunny I
33:44 I really I can't talk about it wait what
33:46 do you mean you can't talk because but
33:48 you have spoken about but it's not funny
33:49 yeah but
33:53 it's you have said it is exercise that
33:55 kind of makes well I just think the body
33:58 and the mind are one thing so if you
34:00 exercise your body then you exercise
34:02 your mind and the mind I only do things
34:06 that are good for the brain function I
34:08 care about brain function for the
34:10 obvious reasons I I feel like I need the
34:14 brain you once said I I've always had
34:16 the skill of extracting the essence of
34:19 any subject yes uh I study be it
34:23 Scientology Judaism Zen yoga meditation
34:27 right um on the marelus is my new one
34:30 how so the Roman Emperor who wrote a
34:32 book called meditations okay which was
34:34 the beginning of
34:36 stoicism and that that's my obsession
34:39 now is Marcus Aurelius he had this fantastic
34:40 fantastic
34:43 philosophical observations on life and
34:45 you've learned what from that that
34:47 everything that you're worried about is
34:49 going to be gone like that the people
34:51 that you that are criticizing you
34:53 they're going to be gone you're going to
34:57 be gone all this hand ringing worry and
35:00 con concern over how are people viewing
35:04 me uh and uh someone said something bad
35:06 about me and you get so upset about it
35:09 is is wasted time and energy Marcus
35:12 aurelus says your only focus should be
35:15 on getting better at what you're doing
35:17 focus on what you're doing get better at
35:19 what you're doing everything else is a
35:22 complete waste of time so I have this
35:25 movie coming out in about a month I am
35:28 so excited to read the worst reviews
35:30 what do you mean cuz they're so
35:33 meaningless that's what he thinks now
35:34 did it take you a minute to get to that
35:36 place or you I been looking forward to
35:38 it for two years I can't wait for the
35:40 bad reviews but I I mean did it take you
35:43 a minute to get to the place of enjoying
35:45 that or have you always kind of been
35:47 unaffected by no it took a that took
35:49 many many years okay on the
35:52 Transcendental Meditation front believe
35:54 you do it at least twice daily at least
35:56 twice sometimes more you said it's the
35:58 greatest thing
36:01 as a life tool as a work tool and just
36:04 making things make sense right do you do
36:06 meditation I don't I I tried it I've
36:08 tried it once but oh great good
36:12 try um what what what do you what do you
36:14 want in life gram what do you want what
36:16 do you want to have more than anything
36:19 i' like to make the most of my ability
36:21 and be happy and and what does it take
36:25 to do that energy you need energy it's
36:28 the most valuable Quant
36:31 of human life well where do we get it
36:33 and you're saying you get it from
36:35 meditation well you sleep right that's
36:38 about it that's all you do to rest your
36:42 body the next time you get out of bed
36:45 before you leave the bed stand up turn
36:49 around and look at that bed does it look
36:55 relaxing does it look peace did it look
36:56 does it look peaceful what you went
37:01 through there no it's a necessary
37:05 component of human life but it's not the
37:09 level of rest that you need and is
37:13 available to you effortlessly meditation
37:17 is effortless exercise is the opposite
37:19 of that exercise is great for energy but
37:23 it takes more effort than anything it's
37:25 incredibly difficult thing to do
37:28 meditation is like I say if I said to
37:30 you I'm going to need you to get in a
37:32 hot tub once a day and just sit there
37:35 for five minutes could you do that
37:37 that's pretty easy it's pretty easy
37:39 meditation is even easier than
37:43 that so if that's all you have to do to
37:46 double the amount of energy that you
37:49 have to accomplish what you want to
37:51 accomplish in your Ben singer
37:54 life how do you not use that so I'm
37:56 speaking to you trying to approach you
37:59 as a very pragmatic person cuz you seem
38:02 very pragmatic you don't do stupid
38:04 things you try and do things that make
38:07 sense right I tried to yeah okay so
38:09 that's what this is you know the bar in
38:12 your phone instead of that was the
38:15 yellow and the red all white just boom
38:18 full battery full battery how have you
38:21 felt that's extended your career oh my
38:25 god well I'm 70 okay which is shocking
38:27 well there you go yeah so that that's
38:30 not just because of meditation yes it is
38:33 if I if you ask me my three keys to a
38:34 successful life you want you want my
38:37 three keys Transcendental
38:42 Meditation lift weights
38:46 espresso you just do those three things
38:48 and you will kill it how many espresso
38:50 machines do you have oh I have one
38:52 everywhere I have him in espresso machine
38:53 machine
38:55 everywhere uh we're just going to run
38:57 out for quick coffee we'll be right back
38:59 I'm sorry that's not possible when I do
39:00 this little show Comedians in Cars
39:02 Getting Coffee you're comedian with the
39:04 president going nowhere back it up yes
39:07 sir what did the creative process entail
39:10 for the Obama episode how did you go
39:13 about getting their sign off and what if
39:15 anything was said no to let's do one
39:16 question at a
39:19 time what was the creative process right
39:21 for figuring out what you wanted to do
39:23 with him well it was what I was allowed
39:27 to do and the amount of time that I had
39:29 we were going to go to a coffee shop but
39:33 then when we they explained the size of
39:36 the the Secret Service detail that
39:39 became unwieldy and then they said you
39:42 could drive around the loop of the South
39:44 lawn so we did that knocking on the
39:46 window yeah knocking on the window was
39:57 part my greatest disappoint
40:01 was I wanted on that little coffee table
40:03 while I was waiting for him which was
40:05 all fake we just made that up was I
40:09 wanted uh a file that said top secret
40:11 and a copy of Mad
40:13 Magazine and uh they wouldn't let us
40:17 even put a prop really there yeah they
40:19 said you know we have the fruit is the
40:21 only thing you can use so I did the joke
40:23 about the Apple anything else that we
40:26 said no to oh everything everything but
40:28 for some reason the window was they were
40:31 okay with you said everything you do is
40:33 about how to get out of today's
40:36 depression um yeah I mean it doesn't
40:38 happen every day what's the feeling that
40:40 you try and get out I mean I depression
40:42 is probably too strong a word it's just
40:44 we all have these mood dips you know
40:47 where you just you're feeling good and
40:49 something not great happens or you're
40:52 late or you you see a scratch on your
40:54 car and you just get depressed about it
40:57 and you can get depressed when things
40:59 are going great that's the most
41:01 depressing when does it happen most for
41:05 you it it irrespective of circumstance I
41:07 just don't feel good sometimes just
41:08 don't feel
41:13 good and um the the best way to to get
41:16 out of it for me is uh work work is the
41:19 best antidote that's why I work so much
41:21 because it's the op for some reason it
41:23 just you feel like you're not wasting
41:28 time a tendency to be depressed is part
41:31 of the kit that comes with the creative
41:33 aspect of the brain that's right how did
41:36 reading that impact you I realized this
41:39 tendency to get depressed I would never
41:41 want to not have that if I would lose
41:45 the creative uh gift that came with it
41:47 it's part of it it's it's a probably an
41:50 overactive brain right after your sitcom
41:53 wrapped yeah uh for a few months you
41:56 didn't do much uh I think you're playing
41:59 uh pool
42:01 in like aards Hall on the upper west
42:04 side um you said I was kind of lost
42:06 after the show I really didn't want to
42:08 get married I didn't want to be single
42:10 anymore I didn't know what I wanted to
42:15 do mhm um what was that period like for
42:17 you that was was pretty interesting
42:19 period you know you you kind of feel
42:23 like you got to the end of the the the
42:25 rainbow there and and so now what you
42:27 know what what do I do in life
42:32 now and uh depressed then
42:36 no no that's always the same but and I
42:40 don't know if I I think most human lives
42:43 are like this you know good days part of
42:44 the day is good part of the day you
42:47 don't feel good sometimes you don't feel
42:49 good a whole day some days you feel
42:51 great all day well and I know I'm
42:52 certainly like that but then there are
42:55 people that you know struggle with it
42:58 more than others I would call it real
42:59 depression yeah I don't know what the
43:02 word for it is I I just call it uh the
43:05 mood darkens I get a darkening mood and
43:08 I don't I want to get out of it how did
43:11 having children uh impact your
43:14 life you don't have kids I don't like
43:16 someone that doesn't have kids would ask
43:18 that question okay well here here here
43:20 was the connect how did it impact your
43:22 life here was the how having a human
43:24 body impact your life so here was the
43:26 connective quote had you what does it
43:28 feel like to be just a Spirit sparking
43:30 through the Galaxy and then you took the
43:34 form of humanity how did that change
43:36 you wait so had
43:40 you the connective quote was um you had
43:43 once said if it wasn't for my kids I'm
43:45 pretty much done with living I could
43:47 kill myself now now now there's
43:49 something else to live for yeah yeah
43:51 well the kids kids are the greatest show
43:55 on Earth so you just want to watch them
43:57 live and the entertainment value of
44:02 watching them try to live is uh you know
44:04 I don't watch all the shows that
44:05 everybody watches I don't find them
44:08 interesting what do you watch I watch
44:10 baseball and I and I like to see what
44:12 the kids are doing the kids are very
44:15 entertaining because they're you know
44:18 they're primitive humans and you it's
44:21 fun to watch uh you know like you you
44:23 can't not watch the turtles try to get
44:26 to the the waves you know the little
44:28 blue Turtles when they run down the
44:30 beach and some of them make it and some
44:32 of them don't whenever that you have to
44:34 watch it and so that's what kids are you
44:36 just watching these turtles run for
44:38 their life how do you think your
44:42 upbringing impacted you as a dad well
44:44 unfortunately you think the way you were
44:46 brought up was the
44:48 greatest and so you attempt to replicate
44:50 it or even worse you attempt to improve
44:53 on it that's where you go really wrong
44:56 as a parent you think my childhood was
44:58 good I'm going to make my kids'
45:00 childhood perfect that's when you really
45:03 screw them up because perfect is not a
45:08 good place to be uh for optimizing you
45:11 know the human instrument imperfect is
45:12 where you want your kids to be I always
45:15 talk about this this bracket of struggle
45:17 if stay you want to stay in the bracket
45:21 not too much not too little and try and
45:23 move the bracket up as high as you can
45:27 so uh the worst thing with uh kids is
45:31 when you try and give them pleasure or
45:34 problem solve or praise those are my
45:37 three poison pce of being a parent
45:39 solving their problems giving them
45:41 pleasure don't give them that Cracker he
45:43 he likes this cracker this is his
45:46 favorite cracker give him that
45:49 Cracker this is horrible it seems like
45:51 you're increasingly interested in
45:54 Sharing like how the sausage is made
45:56 well our parents do that that you want
45:59 us let me show you how life works but I
46:01 mean it's not limited to just use a
46:03 parent I mean even
46:06 in just hearing you talk about things
46:07 professionally I I want to take the
46:09 watch apart my whole life is I want to
46:12 take the watch apart I like knowing the
46:15 time but how does this watch work yeah
46:18 and that's why I can't chitchat chitchat
46:20 is the time right let's talk about these
46:24 gears how how the hell does this thing
46:26 keep track of the time what with a
46:30 spring marriage uh your wife said Slow
46:33 build in Jerry becoming a teammate yes
46:37 explain that well I was 45 I was a very
46:40 successful comedian a comedian is an
46:45 inone act you think I don't need
46:48 anyone that's what a comedian thinks
46:51 this is not a good partner for someone
46:54 that doesn't think they need anyone is
46:57 not a good partner partners want to
47:00 cooperate with other people this is why
47:03 most comedians either fail at marriage
47:06 or don't even try it Jim Gaffigan said
47:08 to me every time he hears a comedian
47:11 getting married he he goes why why would
47:15 they do that it's it's really not for us
47:17 I wanted to do it again because I wanted
47:19 to see if I could do something I'm
47:22 really not cut out for how was your idea
47:24 of a good first state her attending the
47:27 taping of your HBO special like two days
47:29 that's what I was doing I mean no
47:32 whatever you're uh I've been would bring
47:34 girls to shows that's that's you know
47:36 who's not going to do that why do you
47:38 think the relationship works you know
47:42 we're both extremely cranky and un and
47:43 understanding of each other's
47:46 crankiness and appreciative of
47:48 crankiness I don't like people that
47:51 aren't cranky I find them kind of boring
47:54 I I like I like people that are really
47:56 on the verge of exploding at all times
47:58 oh God come on yeah and she's great at
48:02 that oh come on come on what you're not
48:04 married I'm not I'm engaged oh you're
48:07 engaged congratulations thank you should
48:09 be married as of September oh good for
48:12 you I'm happy yes yeah yeah this show is
48:14 going to get you married some woman's
48:16 going to see this and go I I think I'll
48:18 hitch my ride to that I guess kind of
48:21 serious FR you guys uh decided to visit
48:24 Israel uh the end of the year um why'
48:28 you guys decide to make the trip we're
48:33 Jewish and uh we feel very uh close to
48:36 the struggle of being Jewish in the
48:39 world um uh people think of Jewish
48:42 people I think sometimes is very uh on
48:44 top of things and unsuccessful for the
48:48 most part that is somewhat true but the
48:50 struggle of being Jewish is also uh
48:53 ancient thousands of years of struggle
48:57 and uh Israel is the latest one and
49:00 anti-Semitism is uh seems to be
49:04 rekindling in some areas and uh so we
49:06 just felt we wanted to do that to be
49:09 supportive to the Israelis what stood
49:11 out most to you from the visit that my
49:15 life of uh what I thought was just being
49:18 fun having a fun life and making other
49:23 people happy which I I love to do um had
49:26 this other effect on these other people
49:28 for a completely different reason they
49:31 appreciated me coming because I'm a
49:33 well-known person and a comedian they
49:36 like but this was a whole
49:39 different uh set of circumstances and
49:42 emotions we had uh we were having lunch
49:44 one day in Tel Aviv and there was a
49:48 missile attack from Gaza uh 26 missiles
49:51 were fired at the city and they were all
49:55 taken out uh by the Iron Dome Tech that
49:57 they have
49:59 and everybody has to run out of the
50:01 streets and you have to get into a
50:04 shelter because the metal falls from the
50:06 sky how does that kind of shape your
50:08 view on what's going on I grew up in the
50:12 50s and 60s and World War II was kind of
50:16 Vietnam and I would I was never in the
50:19 military and you always wonder what is
50:21 what's a war like you know we've
50:22 obviously we've all read about it our
50:24 whole lives all wars throughout human
50:29 history what's it really like yeah so I
50:33 I know what it's like now unfrosted um I
50:36 obviously rough transition uh I watched
50:40 it o over the weekend and I mean the
50:43 cast is extraordinary oh thank you um
50:47 also the writing is so distinctly
50:50 different M than what you'd see in a
50:53 typical film what were the biggest pain
50:56 points of the process for you of just
51:00 the entirety of this project um walking
51:04 onto a film set and uh being responsible
51:08 for the camera angles the actor's
51:10 performances my own performance how many
51:13 takes do we do before we move on we're
51:15 running out of time we're running out of
51:21 money um it's much different than TV
51:23 doing the TV show was like going into
51:26 your backyard you know and playing cuz
51:29 we eventually that world was our world
51:31 we just knew every inch of it right I
51:32 mean not immediately though not
51:34 immediately but after a while right but
51:37 in a movie set you know you're going to
51:38 locations you've never been you're going
51:40 to be there for two hours you got to get
51:44 this it was fun it was crazy it's just
51:46 crazy but the people that I had around
51:49 me people like uh Melissa McCarthy and
51:52 Jim Gaffigan and Amy Schumer and it's so
51:55 fun on and on how do you get that cast
51:57 together I don't know I just asked them
51:59 but I mean that's how right I mean
52:02 because you don't like it's you making a
52:04 lot ex for Hugh Grant he called me he
52:06 called you and yeah he said I would like
52:09 to be Tony the Tiger and and you you're
52:11 Tony the Tiger he said can I do I have
52:12 to do an American accent no I go do
52:14 whatever you want I just wanted to meet
52:17 him I I love the guy what about him
52:20 playing Tony the Tiger really resonated
52:22 with you because I know you said his
52:24 character was pretty cool our idea of
52:27 Tony the Tiger was he was a failed
52:30 Shakespearean actor who had to take this
52:32 humiliating job because he couldn't make
52:35 his car payments and but he really
52:37 wanted to do Shakespeare but he's forced
52:40 to do Tony the Tiger that that's our
52:44 idea of Tony the Tiger how was directing
52:47 harder than you expected oh it not with
52:49 the the amazing people that I had they
52:52 they were wonderful they're incredible I
52:55 mean Hugh Grant is a total pain in the
52:58 ass uh which he told me he would be we
53:01 had so many fun fights okay like what I
53:03 would say to him you're English you
53:05 don't know anything about comedy you you
53:09 know about wit English people are witty
53:11 I go there's no money in witty we do
53:14 comedy we got big laughs in this country
53:18 and he would scream I know a lot about
53:20 comedy he was the best he was my
53:23 favorite there was uh onset blowup that
53:26 you kind of had to diffuse right I think
53:29 so yeah were few explain the kind of
53:31 most notable situation my favorite one
53:34 was a there was a there's a you know
53:36 there's different teams on a movie
53:38 different departments there was a prop
53:41 guy who was a little tightly wired and
53:43 you know they they arranged things you
53:45 know like whoever started this fire and
53:48 they put this stupid stuff here you know
53:51 and some guy uh on the movie he just
53:54 lost it he started screaming at uh one
53:57 of his assistants and I went everyone
54:00 stop I mean screaming like crazy loud I
54:03 go everyone stop this is a Pop-Tart
54:06 movie none of this matters we will not
54:10 have any screaming this is not important
54:11 I made a big deal out of the fact that
54:13 this is not important we're we're here
54:17 to just make a silly movie you turned 70
54:19 April 29th yeah uh I think you're doing
54:21 press for the film that day yeah I
54:23 believe it premieres uh shortly
54:25 thereafter but so it's not as if you
54:28 have much time to celebrate the birthday
54:31 but how do you view turning 70 I'm not
54:39 me or my age or I'm I'm on I'm just on
54:42 this ride like everybody else just like
54:43 okay where's you know it's like
54:44 Disneyland you're just on this little
54:46 cart going along the track and you're
54:48 going all right so we're going to make a
54:50 turn now I wonder what's going to be
54:53 around the turn so I I don't care I've
54:55 heard you talk a lot about like what
54:59 still motivates you and The Arc in the
55:02 creative process how would you assess
55:07 where your talent is today relative to
55:11 whatever you think its peak can be um
55:13 Peak can be is I still have to get to
55:16 the peak I'm not there wow that's that's
55:21 a exhausting um you know I let the
55:23 audience tell me how I'm
55:27 doing and they they keep coming and
55:30 they're they they they clap and they
55:33 laugh so that's that's it we're we're
55:36 all going through this ride together to
55:39 me me and whatever the whoever the
55:41 people are that like what I
55:44 do I want to make this ride better for
55:47 them you know that's what I live for I
55:50 want to uh put a smile on as many faces
55:53 as I can and that that's a pretty good
55:57 life if you get to be someone doing that
56:00 so I I don't care where it's going or
56:04 where I'm at uh I'll be on stage tonight
56:06 and if they laugh I know okay we're
56:09 still doing something right and and
56:12 that's that's what I care about thanks
56:14 for doing this thanks gra thanks for
56:18 hanging in that took a it took a while
56:20 reasonably painless right yeah know it
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