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Maus Full AudioBook (Best Quality) | ACME Ellipsis Mark | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Maus Full AudioBook (Best Quality)
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Summary
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This content is a narrative recounting the harrowing experiences of a Jewish man, Vladic, and his family during the Holocaust, detailing their struggles for survival, the loss of loved ones, and the enduring impact of trauma. It also touches upon the complex relationship between Vladic and his son, Arty, as Arty attempts to document his father's story.
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beagleman the Jews are undoubtedly a
race but they are not human Adolf Hitler
rioo Park New York
1958 it was summer I remember I was 10
or 11 I was roller skating with Howie and
and
Steve last one to the schoolyard is a rotten
rotten
egg till my skate came loose
ow hey wait up fellas rotten
up my father was in the front fixing
something Ary come hold this a minute
saw why do you cry Arty hold better on the
the
wood I I I fell and my friends skated
away with without me
he stops saing friends your
friends if you lock them together in a
room with no food for a
I went out to see my father in rioo park
I hadn't seen him in a long time we
weren't that
close Papa o Arty you're late I was
worried it's a shame fris also didn't
come uh-huh she sends
regards he had aged a lot since I saw
him last my mother's suicide and his two
heart attacks had taken their toll Mala
look who's here here
Arty he was remarried Mala knew my
parents in Poland before the war she was
a Survivor too like most of my parents
friends hi Arty let me take your
coat the dinner is on the table
table
Mala a wire hanger you give him I
haven't seen Arty in almost 2 years we
have plenty of wooden hangers they
didn't get
along I have after dinner he took me
into my old room come we'll talk while I
pedal it's good for my heart the pedling
but tell me how is it by you how is
going the comics business I still want
to draw that book about
you the one I used to talk to you
about about your life in Poland and the
war it would take many books my life and
no one wants any way to hear such
stories I want to hear hear it start
with Mom tell me how you
met better you should spend your time to
make drawings what will bring you some
money but if you want I can tell you I
lived then in chest aova a small City
not far from the border of
Germany I was in textiles buying and
selling I didn't make much but always I
could make a
living I was at that time young and
really a nice handsome boy
I had lots of girls what I didn't even
know that would run after
me hello vadic this is
ulick a friend of mine usia Greenberg
would like to be introduced to you
people always told me I look just like Rudolph
Rudolph
Valentino eventually I took Lucia to
dance do you live alone
yes I have a small apartment my parents
moved to soic
I like to see it sometime maybe
sometime wherever I went I looked around
and Lucia Greenberg would be also there
vtic which way are you going just to the
market me too let's walk together but
pop mom's name was Anna
zilberberg all this was before I met
Anna just listen
yes why don't you ever invite me to your home
home
Are you ashamed of
me she kept insisting me to show her my
apartment so finally I invited her
everything's so neat and clean I like to
keep things in
order you must have another girlfriend
who cleans for you no
no I didn't want to be more closer with
her but she really wouldn't let me
go was she the first girl you uh
yes we were more involved so like the
you here
today we saw each other together for
maybe three or 4 years let's get engaged
vladic it's late I'll take you home not
yet please come on your parents would
worry her family was nice but had no
money even for a
doller well every holiday I want to
visit my family it was maybe a journey
of 35 or 40 miles cousin
cousin
vadic it's good to see you again
listen there's a girl in my class I want
you to meet us tomorrow her name is
Anna she's incredibly clever from a rich
family a very good girl the next morning
we all met together my cousin and Anna
spoke sometimes in English how you like
him he is a handsome boy and seems very
nice they couldn't know I understood
well I promise to be home early I'll
leave you two
alone you know you should be careful
speaking English a stranger could
understand you you know
English did you study it in school I had
to quit school at about 14 to
work but I took private lessons I always
dreamed of going to America it's a shame
you have to return to chest aova so soon
yes but I have my
business have you a phone at home as
soon as I came back to ches aova she
called once a day twice every day we
talked and then she started writing me
such beautiful letters almost no one
could write polish like she wrote I
visited a couple times to her she sent
me a photo I bought a very nice
frame it passed maybe a week until Lucia
again came and saw the photo I'm going
to get engaged to her
Lucia and look at what a beauty you
picked looks aren't everything Lucia it
isn't good for either of us that you
keep coming up
here we have to plan for our futures and
forget her let me make you happy it was
not so easy to get free from
Lucia mom wasn't that attractive
huh not so like luia but if you started
talking to her You Started Loving Her
more and more one time we walked into
the director from her school you're a
very lucky man Mr
Spielman you don't know what a girl
you're getting I've had many students
but never one as sensitive and
intelligent as Anna yes that's why I picked
picked
her I wish you could visit me in chest
toova I like to show you off to my
friends I've begged my mother to let me
go but she's so religious and
oldfashioned she would never allow me to
go to a bachelor's apartment Anna's
parents were anxious she'd be married
she was 24 I was then
30 oh my parents would like you to come
to dinner tomorrow night the zberg
family was very well off
millionaires the zberg had a hosery
factory one of the biggest in Poland but
when I came into their house it was so
like a king came
welcome welcome Anna vadic is
here make yourself comfortable while I
help with the
dinner to see what a housekeeper she was
I peaked in Anna's closet everything is
neat straight just the way I like it but
what's this pills I wrote down every
pill if she was sick then what did I
need it for dinner is
ready later a friend a druggist told
told me the pills were only because she
was so skinny and nervous how about some
more geel fish
vadic so to make a long story short by
the end of 1936 we were engaged and I
moved from chest toova to
swick ah here I forgot to tell you
something before I moved to sik but
after our engagement was
made one evening the bell rang
Lucia what are you doing here I'm on my
way out I'll I'll come with you no you
can't come with please vadic she fell on
the floor and held strong my legs don't
run away I saw now that I went too far
with her I ran out to my friend what
introduced us he went to calm her down
and took her
home I didn't hear more from Lucia but
also I stopped hearing from Anna no
telephone calls no letters nothing what
happened hello Miss salber bird can I
speak to
Anna she says she won't speak to you but
why she got a letter from someone in
chest aova my God it says the worst
things in the world about you well I
can't convince her on the phone I'll
come down by train on Friday after
work it wasn't even a holiday but I went
anyway to
sanak so tell me Anna what have I done
that's so horrible you should know just read
read
this I don't even want to see it just
tell me who wrote it or better yet I'll tell
tell
you Lucia Greenberg right is just signed
your secret friend
L it says you have a very bad reputation
in ches aova that you have a lot of
girlfriends and that you're marrying me
for my
money Anna
you should know me better ask anyone in
chest aova about my
character Lucia is an old girlfriend who
won't leave me alone she means nothing
at all to me and after much talking I convinced
convinced
her so I moved to sanak at the end of
1936 and February 14th 1937 we were
married and now some vodka to toast the
young couple I moved into one of the
father-in-law's two Apartments he owned
both and he gave me a part ownership and
very beautiful gold watch for a wedding
gift but this is what I just told you
about Lucia and so I don't want you
should write this in your book what why
not it has nothing to do with Hitler
with the
Holocaust but pops it's great material
it makes everything more real more
human I want to tell your story what
really happened
but this isn't so proper so
respectful I can tell you other stories
but such private things I don't want you
promise Mouse a survivor's tale by Arts
beelman chapter 2 the
honeymoon for the next few months I went
back to visit my father quite regularly
to hear a story about Mom 11 12 13 uh
what are you doing
po I'm making into daily portions my
pills 14
15 16 17 18 so
many it's six pills for the heart one
for diabetes and maybe 25 or 30
vitamins for my condition I must fight
to save myself doctors they only give me junk
junk
food that's how I call prescription
drugs now I study this in my Prevention
magazines maybe you want to read no
thanks about mom did she have any
boyfriends before she met you not
romantic but one tall boy from
Warsaw he was a communist
even after the marriage when this fellow
came to sanak Anna always ran to see
him I didn't know of course that he was
a communist I always kept far away from communist
communist
people a little after we were married I
came home from a selling trip hey vadic
it is arrest of some seamess that lives
down your hall she had some secret communist
communist
documents and when I went upstairs the
police just arrest huh what's the matter
the police were here looking for
Anna she just told us that boy from wara
brings communist
messages she translates them into German
and passes them on Anna was involved in
conspirations a little before the police
came she got from Friends a telephone
call they suspect you hide the papers
quickly but they're important try not to
destroy them
what to do she ran to a seamstress what
was one of our tenants Miss tansa please
hide this package for me don't tell
anyone about it and Anna was a good
customer so she
agreed the police went over our house
top to bottom it was nothing to find so
they searched the neighbors okay how did
you get this package I never saw it
before one of my customers must have
left it Anna was safe but the seam there
arrested when I found out this story I
was ready to break the marriage I told
her Anna if you want me you have to go my
my
way if you want your communist friends
then I can't stay in this house and she
was a good girl and of course she saw
all such things what happened to the
seamstress Miss tanso sat in prison for
a longer time maybe 3 months it wasn't
enough evidence and finally the police
left her
go father-in-law paid the cost from the
lawyers and gave her some money it cost
maybe 15,000
zots that's a lot huh J but not only
this at the same time he did for us even
more you know vadic when you and Anna
gave me a grandchild I want him to be well
well
off well I almost have enough for my
sales trips to start a textile shop a
shop you have to have a textile
Factory that will cost a fortune please
I can give you the money and plenty of
credit I started a factory in bco and
visit Anna every
weekend by October 1937 Factory was
going and it was born My First Son Rick
EV he's a big baby over 3 kilos my my
God Anna only weighs
39 of course you never knew him he
didn't come out from the war yes I
know but wait if you were married in
February and reev was born in October
was he
premature yes a
little but you after the war when you
were born it was very premature the
doctors thought you wouldn't live
I found a specialist what saved you he
had to break your arm and take you out
of Anna's
belly and when you were a tiny baby and
your arm always jumped up like so he
joked and called you hail
Hitler always we pushed your arm down
and you would
oops look now what you made me do me
okay I'll recount them
later no you don't know counting pills
I'll do it after I'm an expert for
this so on to stay with the family I
went to live in bco for my factory
business and to find us an apartment but
soon it came from sanak a telephone
vadic come home right away Anna is
sick she was crying as soon as I came in
what's wrong
darling it doesn't matter nothing
matters but why are you crying I don't
know I have a good family a fine son I
should be
happy but I don't care I just don't want to
to
live here baby drink this and rest I
don't understand what's the
matter giving birth was too much of a
strain she's always hysterical or
depressed a breakdown
breakdown
please the doctor told us about a
sanitarium but but someone must go with
her someone she
trusts everything's arranged the child
can stay here with the Govern and I'll
factory right away we went the
sanitarium was inside Czechoslovakia one
of the most expensive and beautiful in the
the
world I remember when we were almost
arrived we passed a small town
o everybody every redrew from the train
got very excited and frightened
look it was the beginning of 1938 before
the war hanging high at the center of
town it was the Nazi flag here was the
first time I saw with my own eyes the
swasa I tell you there's a pgrm going on
in Germany today one fellow told us his
cousin was living in
Germany he had to sell his business to
to a German and run out from the country
without even the
money it was very hard there for the Jews
Jews
terrible another fellow told us of a
relative in Brandenburg the police came
to his house and no one heard again from
him it was many many such stories
synagogues burned Jews beaten with no
reason whole towns pushing out all Jews
each story worse than the
other let's hope those na y gangsters
get thrown out of power just pray they
don't start a
war the sanitarium was far away from
everything so peaceful so quiet look how
beautiful these Gardens are Anna uh-huh
people came from all over the world with
different sicknesses it was even shops
here a theater really
beautiful our room is like a luxury
hotel look at this
view uh-huh each morning nurses would
visit to
Anna and each few days I talk to the big
specialist at the clinic well what did
the doctor say he told me you're doing
fine fine just
relax I understood much of such
sicknesses so I helped always to calm
her down look we got a letter from home
today with a photo of richb let me
see he's a handsome boy just like a his
father yes
yes in the evenings we went either to
the theater or dance in the cafe did I
tell you the tragedy about the pillow my
family lost at the start of 1914 War I
was seven we lived too close to the
Border it wasn't
safe I told her many jokes and stories
to keep her busy so we took what we
could on a wagon pulled by four horses
and went to my grandfather's home in red
an School
someone rode past us and told us that we
dropped a pillow a few miles back a guy
driving to Amel picked it
up imagine my father never rode a horse
before but he and hitch one from the
wagon rode towards
amow we waited and waited mother started
crying surely he fell and got killed she
had begged him to let the pillow go take
all the troubles with
it the horse was bony and didn't have a
saddle finally lady that night VA rode
back with a pillow under his bloody
tikus so VA got his pillow back but he
couldn't sit down for the rest of the
war I love you
badic and she was so laughing and so
happy so happy that she approached each
time and kissed me so happy she
was we stayed maybe 3 months and when we
came back Anna was completely different
from when she left YooHoo Papa Anna you
look like a
million listen black I didn't want you
to worry while you were at the sanitarium
sanitarium
but brace yourself the bco factory has been
been robbed
robbed
what it happened last month they took everything
everything
a I didn't even have time to ensure it
before we left well at least I can help
you build it up again
were you looted as part of some
anti-semetic activity I don't think this
was it just a
robbery like when they robbed us in Rigo
Park here last year Well inesco
father-in-law helped us again to establish
establish
ourselves in a couple of months we were
well off quite well off a working
Factory a two-bedroom apartment a Polish
gness and even a maid
look rev Papa's
home you look upset vadic there was
another Riot downtown
today everyone yelling Jews out Jews out
even two people killed the police just
watched it's those Nazis stirring
everybody up when it comes to Jews the
pools don't need much stirring
up Mrs Spelman how can you say such a
thing I think of you as part of my own
family I'm sorry yanita I didn't mean
you I'm just
worried maybe we should move away like
some others have if things get really
bad we'll run back to
sanak why would sanak be safer than
besco we thought then that Hitler Wanted
only the parts from Poland like besco
what used to be parts from Germany
before the first world
war we were very happy still for over a
year until August 24th
1939 a letter from the
government a draft notice I was in the
Polish reserves Army and so I had to go right
right
away it was a big confusion everyone
knew it would be now a war quick pack
everything your father will take you to
sanak vadic I'm
afraid grab your knickknacks in the doll
collection they're not important you'll
see you may enjoy them I was right when
things went worse later she was able to
sell such
things so Anna and rev and the
governance went in one way to
sanak and I went then a different
direction to the frontier against
Germany and on September 1st 1939 the
war came I was on the front one of the
first to
[ __ ] so twice I spilled my drug
sore it's my
eyes ever since I got in my left eye the
hemorrhaging and the glaucoma it had
been taken out for me and now I don't
see so
well and now I have cataracts inside my
one good eye you see how I have to
suffer I told you about the big shot
specialist what was going to operate me
uh-huh he last year put me into the
hospital for an immediate
operation and then he just left me he
went somewhere away to get lectures on the
the
television my eyes started so bleeding I
had to run out to find a doctor in a different
different
hospital there another specialist
operated right away otherwise I could have
have
died so now it's a glass
eye he did a good job no one time even a
young doctor came into my bed there in the
the
hospital he looked with the light a long
time in my eyes and told Mr spiegelman
your left eye is
perfect but in your right eye is catx he
didn't know of course that the left eye is
is
glass and I didn't tell anything to him
I didn't want to make him an
embarrassment uh-huh you told me about that
that
well it's enough for today yes I'm tired
and I must count still my pills good
idea my hands sore from writing all this [Music]
down Mouse a survivor's tale by Arts speleman
speleman
chapter 3 prisoner of
war I visited my father more often in
order to get more information about his
past have some more green beans Ry yes
look you don't eat anything no thanks
I've had
enough so finish at least what's on your
plate okay
okay you know Mala when I was little if
I need e everything mom served Papa and
I would argue till I ran to my room
crying you should know it's impossible
to argue with your
father mom would offer to cook something
I like better but pop just wanted to
leave the leftover food around till they ate
ate
it sometimes he'd even save it to serve
again and again until I eat it or starve
yes so it has to be always you must eat
all what is on your plate ah
vadic fortunately for me mom would
eventually feed me something I'd liked
and throw away the old food while you
weren't looking yes an was too easy with you
you
delicious the chicken was I thought too
dry come we'll talk better in the living
room okay I'll get my
notebook I tell you with Mala I don't
know what to do she please pop I'd
rather not hear all that again
tell me about 1939 when you were drafted
drafted
1939 yes we were given Army trainings
for a few days and then by the start of
September we were on the frontier we
were all digged into trenches near a
river on the other side it was
Germans it was everything quiet until
near morning wait a minute they only
trained you for a few days before
sending you into combat well the first
time I went into the army for 18 months
when I was 21 then every four years I
went to llin for a month to
train you know my father tried to keep
all his children out from the
Army because when he was young he had
then go into the Russian army and there
they took you for 25 years to
Siberia my father pulled out 14 of his
teeth to escape if you missed 12 teeth
they've left you
go so when my brother Marcus got 21
years my father put him on a starvation
diet always Marcus was sickly so thin
and when he went to the Army examination
they didn't take
him a year later when it came my turn
father wanted to make me the same thing
it was something
terrible 3 months before the examination
he started with
me wake up vladic you're sleeping too
much only 3 hours a
night stop stop fattic you mustn't eat
so much but I'm hungry okay have one more
more
Herring for 3 months I eat only salted
Herring and no water to lose
weight and a few days before the exam no
sleep and no food good boy just a little
more coffee only a gallon of coffee a
day for my
heart and when finally I went for my
medical examination here's a healthy one um
no there seems to be something wrong
with him build yourself up for a year
young man and we'll review your case
again the next year father wanted I
would again do the same thing but I
begged him and went to 1922 to the Army
but let's get back to
1939 yes you see how you mix me up in
1939 we were on the frontier digged in
trenches by a river it was quiet and
here near morning morning then I heard
shooting on both
sides an officer sneaked over to me dig
in deeper you'll get
killed your gun is cold why aren't you
shooting I didn't see at what to
shoot but I dig deeper and started to
shoot then bullets came in my
direction I dug deeper in my trench but
I stopped to shoot why should I kill anyone
anyone [Music]
[Music]
but when I looked in my gun I saw a
tree and the tree was actually moving I
must be seeing things how can a tree
run well if it moved I had to shoot
a it held up a hand to show it was hurt
to surrender but I kept shooting and
shooting until finally the tree stopped
moving who knows otherwise he could have shot
shot
me after 2 hours of fighting the Nazis
overcame our side of the river get
up give me your
gun it's hot you were shooting at
us my commander made me shoot I only
fired in the air I answered in German
and his partner stopped him from beating
me they marched me to where it was more
like me war
prisoners and all from us that weren't
injured they marched over to their side
attention all prisoners will carry over
dead and wounded to the waiting Red Cross
Cross
trucks you where do you think you're
going I I I thought I saw a body over by
the river I knew where the one I shot
should be
laying yes here
here
Abra his blood ran out carry him back to
the truck with the
others his name was Yan and I I knew I killed
killed
him and I said to myself well at least I did
did
something they took us to a place near
nberg where was many War Prisoners the
Jews they made to stand separate it's
all your fault this war we should hang
you right here on this spot of course
nobody of us said a
word put down all your
valuables he came up to me I had maybe
300 xylot why so much money Jew many
others had five or six
xylot do you expect to do some business
here show me your
hands you never worked a day in your
life like you Arty my hands were always very
very
delicate well Jew don't worry we'll find
work for you and they
did another German took four or five of
us to a stable see this mess it better
be spotless clean in 1 hour understand
it was impossible to do it in 1
hour we really worked very hard but an
hour later
so not finished
yet this will cost you your soup you lazy
lazy
bastards and somehow we did make the job
in only an hour and a half but look what
you do Hardy huh
you're dropping on the carpet cigarette
ashes you want it should be like a
stable here oops say
sorry clean it yes otherwise I have to
do it Mala could let it sit here like
this for a week and never touch
it and she knows how with my sicknesses
it's hard now for me to do such things
okay okay it's
clean so we lived and worked a few weeks
in the stap until they took us to an
even bigger prison of War
Camp a Polish prisoners gets heated
cabins yes and we're just left freezing
these tense it was terribly cold that
Autumn all over Europe it was so
freezing that birds fell from
trees to keep warm we had only our
summer uniforms and a thin blanket at
least if they gave us enough to
eat the other prisoners get two meals a
day we Jews only get a crust of bread
and a little soup good morning blck
where are you going to bathe in the
river you've gone
crazy I'll be clean and I'll feel warm
all day by
comparison many others got frostbite
wounds in the wounds was pus and in the
pus was
lice every day I bathed and did
gymnastics to keep strong and every day
we prayed it was very religious and it
wasn't else to do
often we play chess to keep our minds
busy and to make the time go I had a set
made from the stones and Breck
chrs and one time a week we could write
letters to the International Red Cross
dear Anna I'm fine I miss you only in
German and very
careful and through this it came a
package chocolate bars cigarettes jam it
was so treasuring for me this package
I had a sign my family was safe and
because I never smoked I had cigarettes
to trade for
food and so things went for maybe 6
weeks then look there's an announcement
outside workers needed War prisoners May
volunteer for labor assignments to
replace German Workers called to the
front housing and abundant food will be
supplied it's a
trick never volunteer if we have to die
let's die here here no I didn't
agree I'm not going to die and I won't
die here I want to be treated like a human
human
being when my comrade saw that I was
going they too registered we were right
away sent to a big German
company we were taken to nice wooden
houses we got soup and we got bread look
a stove and real beds with sheets and
pillows and for the whole day we only
strength seems like years since I felt
warm or been in a
bed yes funny isn't it it's only a
little over two months since we were
drafted I'm worried though vladic who
knows what kind of work they'll give us
it doesn't
matter anything is better than rotting
in those tents I
suppose the next day we were giving
shovels and piics things what we never
held in our hands
before and the work was really very hard
we had to move mountains the hills were
maybe three or 4 yards High we had to
make it
level some complained those what were
too old or weak for such work I I can't
take it
anymore worthless
Jew if you're unhappy go back to the p
camp it's okay we'll help you when no
one is looking we tried to help but what
do you think someone back to the tents
to freeze and to
starve but what happened to them I don't
know still 80% stayed there was enough
to eat a warm bed it was better to
stay always I went to sleep exhausted
and one night I had a dream don't worry
a voice was talking to me it was I think
my dead grandfather don't worry my child
it was so real this voice you will come
out of this place free on the day of pous
pous
truma I woke up right away and when I
went to sleep again it was pous truma pous
pous
truma so what's parasha truma each week
on Saturday we read a section from the
Torah this is so called a parasha and
one week each year it is parasha truma
before work a few from us prayed it was
a rabbi there with us one moment Rabbi
when will we read Pras truma parous
truma in the middle of February almost 3
months from now why 3 months and every
day was for us a
year I told him my dream let's hope it's
true I'm afraid we'll never get out of
here so we worked day after day we Sur
survived week after week the
same until one time look
soldiers it came very many gapo and
workmark attention line up on the road
in two rows
immediately we were not at ease we
didn't know what they could do with
us I stood always in the second line I
didn't want they should see me
much fattic
someone sneaked next to me Rabbi do you
know what day it
is Saturday of course but you know what a
a
Saturday it's parasa
truma they marched us to the main
Courtyard and lined Us by alphabet at
tables name and rank spieglan ltic
Corporal destination upon the
sanak this the Germans did very good to
my wife and child
always they did everything very
systematic very well sign this release
for him and it was all done in one
day you mean your parous truma dream
actually came true yes this is for me a
very important
date I checked later on the calendar it
was the parasha on the week I got
married to
Anna and this was the prasha in 1948
after the war on the week you were born
and so it came out to be this parasha
you sang on the Saturday of your bar
mitzvah the next morning each from us
got a red cross package and they loaded
us on a train to
Poland during the journey I sat with the
rabbi so my son now I see you are a ro
taned one who sees what the future will
bring hey this train seems to be passing
sanak when they didn't stop the train I
became very
worried you see the Nazis divided Poland
into pieces protector and Reich with the
guarded border
between the train went completely past
my part of Poland the Reich and stopped
only in the protectorate those with
papers for kaca out and when it stopped
in Warsaw the rabbi got out I'll write
to you but I never heard again from him
became such a misery in wara almost none survived
survived
and the train was a long way past Oak
they took me up up very far maybe 300
miles until we came to Lublin there they
unloaded all of us from the
Reich in Lin they took us to Big tents
and there we
sat eventually came some people to see
us from the Jewish authorities why are
we being kept here it is a very bad
situation just before you arrived there
was another group of released War prisoners
prisoners
two days ago the Nazis marched them to a
forest and they shot all of them they
killed 600
people we were the next
party I thought you were released as a
prisoner of war exactly
so International laws protected us a
little as polish War prisoners but a Jew
of the Reich anyone could kill in the
streets I was very
frightened then we heard something to
give us a little hope we brought the
Germans to release the prisoners into
homes of local Jews who claim you was
relatives my name's spiegelman there's a
friend of my family named Oro in Lin I
met him when I was here for the army
training fine we'll try to register you
as his
cousin that night I went out from the
tent I had to
urinate and AAR began shooting at me I
ran quick
inside and thought all night different
things what could happen to us
as soon as it was light spiegelman
spiegelman vattic Ock I'm glad to see
you and in 10 minutes I was
free orrock was a friend of my uncle he
had two beautiful daughters near to my
age I'm sorry we can't offer you a
better meal bck but the Jews and lelin
get very few food coupons one moment
girls I have a gift for each of
you oh my god chocolate these I saved
from the Red Cross package always I
saved just in
case eventually when I came again to
sanak we sent them food packages we were
for a while a little better off and they
wrote back very happy how it helped
survive them then they wrote that the
Germans were keeping the packages and
then they stopped to write
finished with orbox I stayed a few days
recuperating but I was Restless how
could I manage to sneak across the
border to my family
trains were still going to the
protectorate to Reich only one needed
legal papers of course this I didn't
have but anyway I got on the train in
the direction I
wanted I approached the train man a pole
may I talk to you for a moment sure
Soldier I still had my army uniform and
I didn't let know I was a
Jew you're a pool like me so I can trust
you the stinking Nazis had me in a war
prison I just escaped the pools are very
bitter on the Germans so it was good to
speak bad of
them I'm trying to get to sanak back to
my family don't worry when we get you to
the Border hide in
here and so the train man helped me come
back to my side of
Poland I walked first over to my parents
house when I thought I might never see
again o velt it's
vladic my son thank God you're safe
and in spite of everything you look
healthy I'm strong mother but you look
sick it's because I was worried about
you but it wasn't only this she was sick of
of
Cancer and a month or two later she died
she never knew how terrible everything
would soon
be and father your beard what happened
you shaved it off it's growing back now
he was very religious so like a r
and of course he always had a big
beard in September the German soldiers
grabbed many Jews in the
street they made us sing prayers while
they laughed and beat
us and before letting us go they cut off our
our
beards and now the demons have taken
away my Seltzer Factory they
enough I must bring vladic home to Anna
before curfew at 7 it was a roll all
Jews had to be in their home and all
lights out
from my parents to Snak was only a short
ride go in and say you just got a letter
from me saying I'd be home in a week I
stood at the door listening don't joke
if fattic was coming home he'd have
written to us
too surprise oh my God
vattic I grabbed my son who's 2 and A2 years
years
reev he started
father the buttons your metal buttons
daddy they're cold and I don't need to
tell you how big the joy was in our
house even though everything was very
tough and it was really very tough we
were happy only to be
together not so like it is now with me and
and
Mala I tell you if Anna could be alive
now it would be everything different with
with
me Mala makes me crazy only she talks
about money always about my will please
pop you always tell me the same things
there's nothing I can do but I haven't
with whom else to
talk and it's you I watch out my money
jeez let's talk about it next time I'll call
call
you besides it's getting late I ought to
get home before curfew h
Hey where's my coat I know I put it in
here Mala did you put my coat someplace
no are you going
now I'll make you some coffee no thanks
I'm not
thirsty and you make the worst coffee
I've ever tasted but I still have that
bag of espresso you once left here but
that was over 6 months ago that coffee
is completely stale so maybe some
tea no thanks just my coat oh Dad have
you seen my coat anywhere
kidding give it back it's too
late when you were sitting first down to
dinner I Threw It Outside by now the
garbage men took it
away such a Shabby coat it's a shame my
son would wear such a coat but I like
it I have for you a warmer one I got at
Alexander's a new jacket and I can give
to you my old one it's still like
new here just try it on a minute oh
great an nahide
windbreaker and it's too big ah it looks
on you like a million
dollars look dad you can't do this to me
I'm over 30 years old I choose my own
clothes after you wear it a little
you'll see how good it looks come I'll
walk you downstairs
so don't forget Arty you'll call me this
week and we can talk you really threw
out my coat I can't believe
it I just can't believe it [Music]
Mouse a survivor's tail by Arts
beelman chapter 4 the news
Titans you were late no I'm not I said
I'd be by after
dinner but now it's dark out I wanted
you would climb to the roof it's a leak
in the pipe drain
huh but I'm not good at fixing that kind
somebody you and Mala you both think
money grows on bushes I'll fix it myself
that's crazy you can't climb a two-story
ladder in your
condition if you want I'll pay for the
handyman never mind forget I said
anything just come sit with me I have to
Pedal otherwise I get at night a lake
cramp what are you holding a new tape
recorder runting things down is just too
hard so how much you pay only 75 bucks
it was on a
sale at Corvettes you could find it for maximum
maximum
$35 but skip it tell me about when you
got back from the p camp in
1940 when I first came home it looked
exactly so as before I went away it was
still very luxurious the Germans
couldn't destroy everything at one time
it was 12 of us living in father mother-in-law's
mother-in-law's
household it was Anna and me and our boy
rev Anna's older sister Tasha her
husband wol and their little girl
bibe and it was Anna's grandparents they
had maybe 90 years but very
alert and of course it was my
father-in-law and my
mother-in-law and also two kids from
your uncle Herman and Aunt Helen lck and
IA Herman and Helen were lucky they were
visiting the New York World's Fair when
the war came this saved
them ah grandmother your stew is even
tastier than I remembered no it's not
like before the war of ladic I can't get
the foods I
need each of us get coupons for 8 ounces
of bread a day and a tiny bit of
margarine sugar and jam per week that's
all so how do we
manage I donated a lot of jamine the
Jewish Community organization and Wolfie
works there so we get a little
extra and there's the black market with
money you can always get
anything it's dangerous though the Nazis
take you off to a work camp for breaking
any minor law worse even if you don't
break any laws and those that are taken
away they're never seen
again well we should be happy we're all
together with enough to eat
but we must really tighten our belts
until the war ends come let's play Ry
while the ladies clear the
table has the family been taken good
care of the bisco textile Factory don't
you know all Jewish businesses have been
taken over by Aran
managers I went to our Factory in lods
and they said better go home today old
man tomorrow we'll carry you out
what but isn't any money coming in not a
single zotti and the family wants to
live the way it did before the
war okay vadic cut the cards but W what
kind of work are you
doing just a little office work for the
jamine but a few months ago bin law took
all his valuables home from the bank
safe how long can savings
last don't worry so much vladic you'll
see this war will be over like lightning
J like lightning
ah well F looked only to play
cards I went next day to mon jasa Street
here people still made money from Secret
businesses not so
legal who coupons for re Marks vadex
speleman Mr elzaki what are you doing
sakaki used to be a customer on Ron best
tailor in
cats the Nazis move me to an apartment
here I make uniforms for the officers
and suit some the side when I get the CL
are you still in
business I don't know I just got back
from war prison well if you get any
cloth come see me this note will get you
past the door man the not told that I
worked with him such your paper could be
useful to
have I went then to the shops that still
owed me money from before the war but I
just can't pay you a German runs the
place now I'm lucky just to have a
job then Advance me a few yards of
material without coupons okay okay hide
this under your
clothes Mr isaki please so I made a nice
few xylot in my very first week I came
home I remember Paulin law was so happy
with me you see at least there's one
smart guy in the family of course I only
said I got half of what I really made
otherwise they wouldn't save
anything a little later I was again on
madrasa looking to buy some textiles
without coupons the s closed off the
whole street to inspect the working
papers from
everyone I didn't know before about
this I managed to disappear into a
building but they took maybe 50% of the people
people
away I talked about it to father-in-law
they almost got me on more than just
ozaki's note it's
true come we'll visit a friend of mine
who owns a tin shop I think his overseer
can be bribed
and so it went okay vladic since we make
things for Germany we can get you a
priority work
card remember if there's a Roundup run
in here and pretend you're working I
learned here to do things that were
useful to me when I came to
ashz and so we lived for more than a
year but always things came a little
worse a little
worse father-in-law had a nice bedroom
set the Germans look to grab such
Furniture because in St it wasn't any
more to
get W and I slept everything valuable
downstairs for the foolish neighbor to
hide o are we leaving the other bed
upstairs J mother-in-law is too sick she
needs a good
bed Anna's mother had gall stones the
day the Germans came she lay in bed
please don't take her bed look how sick
she is the doctor is here every
day pa-in-law had an old friend who came
always over to play cards and they left
without taking anything you know I met a
German official who would pay well for a bedroom
bedroom
set hidden we had no use from the
furniture so we sht it again upstairs to
sell you have excellent taste in
Furniture ha zberg thank
you my men will be right back to get
your wife's bed
too you cheated us for the last time Jew
wait I haven't been paid yet please if
you want to stay alive go back inside he
was so unhappy after so
unhappy one time I was going to see ili
this was late in 1941 I think his house
was very near to the train station and
it was going on there something
terrible I had to pass near and they
were grabbing Jews if they have papers
or no what had I to do will I walk
slowly they will take me will I run they
can shoot
me then from far I saw isaki walking so
I went Hasty over to him Alo Mr
spiegelman what are you doing here don't
you see what's going
on quick come upstairs with me until the
trains leave oaki lived in a very fancy
house he was the only Jew
there so I sat with him and his wife a
good few hours we heard shooting and
screams he survived me in my life that time
time
eleki had a son the same age like rev if
only you could see how those children
played together listen
ltic we can't know what's going to
happen to us but we must keep our children
children
safe I have a good friend a PO who's
willing to hide my son until the
situation gets
better I think he'd take your boy too
yes you might be right let me speak with
my family
but I'm telling you it was something
terrible going on in our house when I
even mentioned it what have you gone crazy how could you even think of giving
crazy how could you even think of giving up Rev to complete
up Rev to complete strangers I'll never give up my baby
strangers I'll never give up my baby never eleki and his wife didn't come out
never eleki and his wife didn't come out from the war but his son remained alive
from the war but his son remained alive ours did not and anyway we had to give
ours did not and anyway we had to give rev to hide a year later
rev to hide a year later when we were in the ghetto in 1943 Tasha
when we were in the ghetto in 1943 Tasha took all the children to wait please Dad
took all the children to wait please Dad if you don't keep your story
if you don't keep your story chronological I'll never get it straight
chronological I'll never get it straight tell me more about 1941 and
tell me more about 1941 and 1942 so okay I'll make it so how you
1942 so okay I'll make it so how you want it
want it 1941 at the end of 1941 the Germans came
1941 at the end of 1941 the Germans came up with something new W ran from the
up with something new W ran from the germind look they're putting these up
germind look they're putting these up all over town order all Jews from swin
all over town order all Jews from swin must be relocated into the Stratos sawi
must be relocated into the Stratos sawi that quarter by January 1st
that quarter by January 1st 1942 non-jews will be moved in the
1942 non-jews will be moved in the vacated
vacated premises all 12 of our household were
premises all 12 of our household were given now to live in 2 and a half small
given now to live in 2 and a half small rooms most people were given less space
rooms most people were given less space but father-in-law and wol a had a little
but father-in-law and wol a had a little influence but this wasn't yet a real
influence but this wasn't yet a real ghetto still you could go into other
ghetto still you could go into other parts of town so long as you're home at
parts of town so long as you're home at night time hold on to the ladder Anna
night time hold on to the ladder Anna I'm putting up a curtain to give us some
I'm putting up a curtain to give us some some
some privacy Tasha insisted on getting part
privacy Tasha insisted on getting part of the room with the window it doesn't
of the room with the window it doesn't matter vladic I'm just glad the whole
matter vladic I'm just glad the whole family could stay together it was no
family could stay together it was no more the luxury life we had
more the luxury life we had before for a couple of months I did hear
before for a couple of months I did hear still my black market business then came
still my black market business then came more bad news very bad what's wrong
more bad news very bad what's wrong father they just arrested my friend
father they just arrested my friend Nahum Khan and his
Nahum Khan and his son they've taken four Jews away for
son they've taken four Jews away for dealing Goods without coupons I did much
dealing Goods without coupons I did much business with
business with KH the Germans intend to make an example
KH the Germans intend to make an example of them the next day he walked over to
of them the next day he walked over to the madrasa street and I saw
the madrasa street and I saw them they hang there one full week KH
them they hang there one full week KH had a dry goods store he was known all
had a dry goods store he was known all over sanck often he gave me cloth with
over sanck often he gave me cloth with no
no coupons I traded also with FIFA a fine
coupons I traded also with FIFA a fine young man he Zionist he was just married
young man he Zionist he was just married his wife ran screaming into the street
his wife ran screaming into the street I was frightened to go outside for a few
I was frightened to go outside for a few days I didn't want to pass where they
days I didn't want to pass where they were hanging and maybe one of them could
were hanging and maybe one of them could have talked of me to the Germans to triy
have talked of me to the Germans to triy to save
to save himself when I think now of them it
himself when I think now of them it still makes me cry look even from my
still makes me cry look even from my dead eye tears are coming
dead eye tears are coming out what was Anna doing at around this
out what was Anna doing at around this time hous works and knitting reading and
time hous works and knitting reading and she was writing always her
she was writing always her diary I used to see polish notebooks
diary I used to see polish notebooks around the house as a kid were those her
around the house as a kid were those her Diaries yes and also
Diaries yes and also no her Diaries didn't survive from the
no her Diaries didn't survive from the war what you saw she wrote after her
war what you saw she wrote after her whole story from the start oh my God
whole story from the start oh my God where are they I need those for this
where are they I need those for this book please Arty stop with the smoking
book please Arty stop with the smoking it makes me short with breath I think
it makes me short with breath I think it's all your
it's all your pedaling don't be so smart what was I
pedaling don't be so smart what was I telling you yes after the hang I look
telling you yes after the hang I look for another
for another business I started to trade gold and
business I started to trade gold and jewelry it was easier to hide than
jewelry it was easier to hide than clothings I kept things hidden in the
clothings I kept things hidden in the child stroller and I made a few
child stroller and I made a few zottis for a while I had also a food
zottis for a while I had also a food business that I didn't yet tell you I
business that I didn't yet tell you I met scolar he had a big grocery in
met scolar he had a big grocery in madrasa your's zberg son-in-law right
madrasa your's zberg son-in-law right come inside and wait for the rain to
come inside and wait for the rain to stop so together we sat and spoke and he
stop so together we sat and spoke and he helped from time to time a customer
helped from time to time a customer sorry you don't have enough coupons to
sorry you don't have enough coupons to buy half a kilo of sugar still she went
buy half a kilo of sugar still she went out with a half a kilo I smelled I could
out with a half a kilo I smelled I could arrange
arrange something then a little more we spoke
something then a little more we spoke and he made a proposition maybe you can
and he made a proposition maybe you can sell my extra items to the shops in the
sell my extra items to the shops in the area under the counter it was dangerous
area under the counter it was dangerous to carry these things but maybe I could
to carry these things but maybe I could be lucky when somebody is hungry he
be lucky when somebody is hungry he looks for
looks for business one time I had 10 or 15 kilos
business one time I had 10 or 15 kilos of sugar to deliver huh je what are you
of sugar to deliver huh je what are you carrying what was I supposed to say for
carrying what was I supposed to say for this I could really hang
this I could really hang sugar I'm taking it over to my grocery
sugar I'm taking it over to my grocery store oh you have a shop I made it so
store oh you have a shop I made it so they would think it was legal I went to
they would think it was legal I went to the back room where I had to deliver
the back room where I had to deliver open up
open up pck I've got our sugar and it left me go
pck I've got our sugar and it left me go without even checking my
without even checking my papers but when we came to the strata
papers but when we came to the strata San all my business came harder it was
San all my business came harder it was not so easy to move
not so easy to move around the tin shop finished the owner
around the tin shop finished the owner was the only Jew that worked there I got
was the only Jew that worked there I got a job in a German carpentry
a job in a German carpentry shop father-in-law L worked already
shop father-in-law L worked already there for really no money I didn't need
there for really no money I didn't need this before but now I had to have the
this before but now I had to have the workpaper W could have arranged me a job
workpaper W could have arranged me a job at the jemide but I didn't want to put
at the jemide but I didn't want to put my hands there where Jews were being
my hands there where Jews were being taken and then it came again again
taken and then it came again again something new from the Germans we got to
something new from the Germans we got to notice all Jews over 70 years old we
notice all Jews over 70 years old we transferred to the theen stad in
transferred to the theen stad in Czechoslovakia and May 10th
Czechoslovakia and May 10th 1942 a community better prepared to take
1942 a community better prepared to take care of the elderly than ours in
care of the elderly than ours in Sak it doesn't look too bad like a
Sak it doesn't look too bad like a convalescent
convalescent home Anna's Grandparents were about 90
home Anna's Grandparents were about 90 years we've been together a family for
years we've been together a family for 70 years we don't want to break apart
70 years we don't want to break apart now don't worry we won't let them take
now don't worry we won't let them take you we didn't yet know of asts of the
you we didn't yet know of asts of the ovens but we were anyway afraid so in
ovens but we were anyway afraid so in the yard we made a hiding place a bunker
the yard we made a hiding place a bunker we sneaked food to them and when it was
we sneaked food to them and when it was safe we took them inside a
safe we took them inside a little several times came the Jewish
little several times came the Jewish police to our house our record show that
police to our house our record show that Mr and Mrs Caro live here they haven't
Mr and Mrs Caro live here they haven't registered for transfer yes my wife's
registered for transfer yes my wife's parents they left with out a word a
parents they left with out a word a month
month ago Jewish police yes with Big
ago Jewish police yes with Big Sticks some Jews thought in this way if
Sticks some Jews thought in this way if they gave to the Germans a few Jews they
they gave to the Germans a few Jews they could save the rest and at least they
could save the rest and at least they could save
could save themselves and a month after they again
themselves and a month after they again came to father-in-law Mrs zberg you and
came to father-in-law Mrs zberg you and your wife must come with us if the
your wife must come with us if the carmas don't turn up in 3 days you too
carmas don't turn up in 3 days you too will be sent in their place
will be sent in their place we had still a little protection from
we had still a little protection from the jemide so they took only him away
the jemide so they took only him away not his wife he sat a few days there
not his wife he sat a few days there then he sent to us a
then he sent to us a note he wrote that we had to give over
note he wrote that we had to give over the grandparents even if they took only
the grandparents even if they took only him away now next they would grab his
him away now next they would grab his wife and then the rest of the family so
wife and then the rest of the family so what happened what happened we had to
what happened what happened we had to deliver
deliver them they thought it was three ins that
them they thought it was three ins that they were going let us know if you need
they were going let us know if you need anything but they went right away to
anything but they went right away to asht to the
asht to the gas when did you first hear about ashz
gas when did you first hear about ashz right away we
right away we heard even from there from that other
heard even from there from that other world people came back and told us but
world people came back and told us but we didn't
we didn't believe then the same news came more and
believe then the same news came more and more so we believed and later on we saw
more so we believed and later on we saw even
even worse after what happened to the
worse after what happened to the grandparents it was a few months quiet
grandparents it was a few months quiet then it came posters everywhere and
then it came posters everywhere and speeches from the jerem Mind fellow Jews
speeches from the jerem Mind fellow Jews on Wednesday October 12th every one of
on Wednesday October 12th every one of you young and old male and female
you young and old male and female healthy and sick must register at the
healthy and sick must register at the Dean Stadium oh no now
Dean Stadium oh no now what there's no cause for alarm it's
what there's no cause for alarm it's only a matter of inspecting your
only a matter of inspecting your documents and stamping them this will
documents and stamping them this will protect you as citizens of the region
protect you as citizens of the region I'm not going it's a Nazi trap everybody
I'm not going it's a Nazi trap everybody was
was worried and our Jewish comedi is helping
worried and our Jewish comedi is helping those murderers God knows what will
those murderers God knows what will happen to us at the stadium well they
happen to us at the stadium well they just inspected Jewish documents in some
just inspected Jewish documents in some nearby towns it was no big
nearby towns it was no big deal anyway we've got to go without
deal anyway we've got to go without legal papers were lost to go it was no
legal papers were lost to go it was no good but not to go it was also no
good but not to go it was also no good my father he had 62 years came by
good my father he had 62 years came by street car to me from DEA The Village
street car to me from DEA The Village next door from suek
next door from suek here's a cookie rev aun fella baked it
here's a cookie rev aun fella baked it for you say thank you to
for you say thank you to Grandpa after my mother died with cancer
Grandpa after my mother died with cancer he lived there in the house of my sister
he lived there in the house of my sister fella and her four small children I need
fella and her four small children I need your advice vadic should I go to the
your advice vadic should I go to the stadium on Wednesday or hide at
stadium on Wednesday or hide at home I don't know I'm not even sure what
home I don't know I'm not even sure what we're going to do Anna's mother says she
we're going to do Anna's mother says she isn't going she's sick and
isn't going she's sick and Afraid at least Anna's father lck and I
Afraid at least Anna's father lck and I all work at the German wood shop we're a
all work at the German wood shop we're a little safer but you don't work you have
little safer but you don't work you have no papers you don't have
no papers you don't have anything well our cousin morai says
anything well our cousin morai says he'll be at one of the inspection tables
he'll be at one of the inspection tables I could bring my papers to him what does
I could bring my papers to him what does fella
fella say she's not sure but if fella decides
say she's not sure but if fella decides to go of course I'll go with her can I
to go of course I'll go with her can I have another cookie
have another cookie rev really I didn't know how to advise
rev really I didn't know how to advise him
him but finally he did go people were afraid
but finally he did go people were afraid not to show up so it came to the stadium
not to show up so it came to the stadium almost all the Jews of Sak and from the
almost all the Jews of Sak and from the other Villages near maybe 25 or 30,000
other Villages near maybe 25 or 30,000 people Everyone came very nice dressed
people Everyone came very nice dressed they tried so that they would look young
they tried so that they would look young and able to work in order to get a good
and able to work in order to get a good stamp on their
stamp on their passport when we were everybody inside
passport when we were everybody inside Cappa with machine guns surrounded the
Cappa with machine guns surrounded the stadium line up by family at the tables
stadium line up by family at the tables to red
quickly then was a selection people sent either to the left either to the right
either to the left either to the right old people families with lots of kids
old people families with lots of kids and people without working cards are all
and people without working cards are all going to the left we understood this
going to the left we understood this must be very
must be very bad me and Anna came to the table where
bad me and Anna came to the table where my cousin was sitting ah you work at the
my cousin was sitting ah you work at the carpentry shop go to the right so we got
carpentry shop go to the right so we got stamped our passports and came quickly
stamped our passports and came quickly to the good side of the stadium those
to the good side of the stadium those sent to the left they didn't get any
sent to the left they didn't get any stamp
stamp we were so happy we came through but we
we were so happy we came through but we worried now were our family safe look
worried now were our family safe look there's Papa with loic and lunia we saw
there's Papa with loic and lunia we saw W and Tasha our family seems to be okay
W and Tasha our family seems to be okay did you see my father I couldn't see
did you see my father I couldn't see anywhere my
anywhere my father but later someone who saw him
father but later someone who saw him told me he came through the same cousin
told me he came through the same cousin over to the good side spiegelman to the
over to the good side spiegelman to the right then came fella to register
right then came fella to register her they sent to the left four children
her they sent to the left four children was too many
was too many fella my daughter how can she manage
fella my daughter how can she manage alone with four children to take care
alone with four children to take care of and what do you think he sneaked on
of and what do you think he sneaked on to the bad side and those on the bad
to the bad side and those on the bad side never came anym
side never came anym home those with the stamp were left to
home those with the stamp were left to go home but there are very few Jews now
go home but there are very few Jews now left in Sak one from three they kept at
left in Sak one from three they kept at the stadium Maybe maybe 10,000 people
the stadium Maybe maybe 10,000 people and with them my
and with them my father
father well it's enough for today yes
well it's enough for today yes Arty o i overdid it a little I'm feeling
Arty o i overdid it a little I'm feeling dizzy maybe you should lie down a
dizzy maybe you should lie down a while are you finished uh-huh my
while are you finished uh-huh my father's worn out he's taking a
father's worn out he's taking a nap he was just telling me about the
nap he was just telling me about the time everyone in Sak had to get his
time everyone in Sak had to get his passport stamped in the Stadium yes they
passport stamped in the Stadium yes they got my mother
got my mother then she was taken with everybody else
then she was taken with everybody else who was going to be deported to four
who was going to be deported to four apartment houses that were empty to make
apartment houses that were empty to make a sort of
a sort of prison they put thousands of people
prison they put thousands of people there it was so crowded that some of
there it was so crowded that some of them actually suffocated no food no
them actually suffocated no food no toilets it was
toilets it was terrible people jumped out of their
terrible people jumped out of their Windows to end their misery a little
Windows to end their misery a little quicker
quicker God but my mother survived that her
God but my mother survived that her brother was on the Jewish committee and
brother was on the Jewish committee and he hid her in the cool Cellar till all
he hid her in the cool Cellar till all the transports
the transports left then he got me a job scrubbing the
left then he got me a job scrubbing the people's filth vomit excrement out of
people's filth vomit excrement out of several apartments and I managed to
several apartments and I managed to Smuggler her
Smuggler her out eventually she and my father ended
out eventually she and my father ended up in owitz they died
up in owitz they died there where are you going you didn't
there where are you going you didn't drink your coffee I just thought of
drink your coffee I just thought of something my father mentioned that Anna
something my father mentioned that Anna used to keep a diary and and I vaguely
used to keep a diary and and I vaguely remember seeing them on his shelves in
remember seeing them on his shelves in the
the den I doubt it I would have noticed them
den I doubt it I would have noticed them well there's so much junk there it's
well there's so much junk there it's worth a
worth a shot look at all this stuff old menus he
shot look at all this stuff old menus he picked up on cruises a pile stationary
picked up on cruises a pile stationary from the Pines
from the Pines Hotel incredible for 1965 dry do Savings
Hotel incredible for 1965 dry do Savings Bank calendars I'll bet he never even
Bank calendars I'll bet he never even had an account there he drives me crazy
had an account there he drives me crazy he won't even let me throw out the
he won't even let me throw out the plastic picture he took from his
plastic picture he took from his hospital room last
hospital room last year he's more attached to things than
year he's more attached to things than people I really don't know how long I
people I really don't know how long I can take him I really don't I better be
can take him I really don't I better be getting home I'll look for those Diaries
getting home I'll look for those Diaries next
next time wait put everything back exactly
time wait put everything back exactly like it was or I'll never hear the end
like it was or I'll never hear the end of it okay okay relax
Mouse a survivor's tale by Art Spelman chapter
5 hello Ry I'm telling you I don't know what to do with your father he just
what to do with your father he just climbed onto the roof
climbed onto the roof Mala he insisted in fixing the drain
Mala he insisted in fixing the drain pipe and got dizzy I don't know how I
pipe and got dizzy I don't know how I ever got him down what time is it now he
ever got him down what time is it now he wants to climb back up what am I
wants to climb back up what am I supposed to do please don't shout why
supposed to do please don't shout why don't you call a handyman geez M it's
don't you call a handyman geez M it's only 7:30 franois and I were up till 4:
only 7:30 franois and I were up till 4: you know we don't get up till hello Arty
you know we don't get up till hello Arty it's Papa here I'm telling you m makes
it's Papa here I'm telling you m makes me Moga I want that maybe you could come
me Moga I want that maybe you could come now to Queen to help me what you've got
now to Queen to help me what you've got to be kidding when I was young I could
to be kidding when I was young I could do by myself these things but now
do by myself these things but now darling I needed your help for the drain
darling I needed your help for the drain pipe um look pop I'll call you back
pipe um look pop I'll call you back after I've had some coffee o maybe I was
after I've had some coffee o maybe I was dreaming what was it your father again
dreaming what was it your father again uhhuh he wants me to go help him fix his
uhhuh he wants me to go help him fix his roof or something [ __ ] even as a kid I
roof or something [ __ ] even as a kid I hated helping him around the house he
hated helping him around the house he loved showing off how handy he was and
loved showing off how handy he was and proving that anything I did was all
proving that anything I did was all wrong he made me completely neurotic
wrong he made me completely neurotic about fixing stuff I mean I didn't even
about fixing stuff I mean I didn't even own a hammer before we moved into this
own a hammer before we moved into this place one reason I became an artist was
place one reason I became an artist was that he thought it was Impractical just
that he thought it was Impractical just a waste of time it was an area where I
a waste of time it was an area where I wouldn't have to compete with him so are
wouldn't have to compete with him so are you going out to Queens no way I'd
you going out to Queens no way I'd rather feel guilty besides I'm too busy
rather feel guilty besides I'm too busy and he can easily afford to hire
and he can easily afford to hire somebody uh hello pop listen about about
somebody uh hello pop listen about about that dream pipe I don't think I can come
that dream pipe I don't think I can come I so never mind Arty I talked just now
I so never mind Arty I talked just now to Frank what lives next door he agreed
to Frank what lives next door he agreed he would fix it with me over the weekend
he would fix it with me over the weekend that's great yes of course better it
that's great yes of course better it should be fixed today but at least
should be fixed today but at least somebody will help me just great about a
somebody will help me just great about a week later early afternoon hi a pop what
week later early afternoon hi a pop what you doing out here in the garage it's
you doing out here in the garage it's always something here I must do I'm
always something here I must do I'm putting now away my old Nails the long
putting now away my old Nails the long ones separate from the short
ones separate from the short ones is the roof all fixed up yeah Frank
ones is the roof all fixed up yeah Frank from next door came eventually and
from next door came eventually and together we
together we fixed um do you need any help with those
fixed um do you need any help with those nails or anything
nails or anything no such jobs I can do easy by
no such jobs I can do easy by myself um is everything okay no with my
myself um is everything okay no with my life now you know it can't be everything
life now you know it can't be everything okay you go upstairs I'll finish here my
okay you go upstairs I'll finish here my job and and in a few minutes I'll come
job and and in a few minutes I'll come up okay hi Mala oi you scared me Arty my
up okay hi Mala oi you scared me Arty my nerves are completely shot living with
nerves are completely shot living with your father he seemed a little upset
your father he seemed a little upset when I saw him downstairs do you think
when I saw him downstairs do you think he's angry that I didn't come to help
he's angry that I didn't come to help him last week I don't think so but
him last week I don't think so but keeping this house fixed up is too much
keeping this house fixed up is too much for him now I keep telling him to sell
for him now I keep telling him to sell it and buy a condo in Miami he seems
it and buy a condo in Miami he seems depressed it could be that comic trip
depressed it could be that comic trip you once made the one about your mother
you once made the one about your mother what vad exal It For the First Time a
what vad exal It For the First Time a couple days ago how do you know about
couple days ago how do you know about prisoner on the hell Planet my friend
prisoner on the hell Planet my friend Ruthie has a son in college he reads all
Ruthie has a son in college he reads all the comics he showed it to her and gave
the comics he showed it to her and gave me a copy [ __ ] I knew it would upset
me a copy [ __ ] I knew it would upset your father so I kept it hidden but
your father so I kept it hidden but somehow he found it I drew this story
somehow he found it I drew this story years ago it appeared in an obscured
years ago it appeared in an obscured underground comic book I never thought
underground comic book I never thought vadic would see it prisoner on the hell
vadic would see it prisoner on the hell Planet a case history in 1968 when I was
Planet a case history in 1968 when I was 20 my mother killed herself she left no
20 my mother killed herself she left no note my father found her when he got
note my father found her when he got home her wrist slashed and an empty
home her wrist slashed and an empty bottle of pills nearby oh he
bottle of pills nearby oh he got I was living with my parents as I
got I was living with my parents as I agreed to do on my release from the
agreed to do on my release from the State Mental Hospital 3 months before I
State Mental Hospital 3 months before I just spent a weekend with my girlfriend
just spent a weekend with my girlfriend Isabelle my parents didn't like her I
Isabelle my parents didn't like her I was late getting home I suppose if I had
was late getting home I suppose if I had gotten home when expected I would have
gotten home when expected I would have found her
found her body when I saw the crowd I panged of
body when I saw the crowd I panged of fear I sused the worst but didn't let
fear I sused the worst but didn't let myself
myself know a cousin hurted me away from the
know a cousin hurted me away from the scene come to the doctors your mother is
scene come to the doctors your mother is uh sick he will explain Dr Orin lived
uh sick he will explain Dr Orin lived nearby sit down Arthur I thought it
nearby sit down Arthur I thought it should be the one to tell you your
should be the one to tell you your mother killed herself she's
mother killed herself she's dead I could avoid the truth no longer
dead I could avoid the truth no longer the doctor's words clattered inside me I
the doctor's words clattered inside me I felt confused I felt angry I felt numb I
felt confused I felt angry I felt numb I didn't exactly feel like crying but
didn't exactly feel like crying but figured I should she's dead a
figured I should she's dead a suicide now now
suicide now now boy no let him cry it's good for him we
boy no let him cry it's good for him we went home my father had completely
went home my father had completely Fallen apart o Arty why why such a
Fallen apart o Arty why why such a tragedy and not even a
tragedy and not even a note I was expected to comfort him
note I was expected to comfort him mother mother somehow the funeral
mother mother somehow the funeral arrangements were
arrangements were made and for $950 we have a bronze
made and for $950 we have a bronze casket with bronze colored velvet of
casket with bronze colored velvet of course for $2,000 we
course for $2,000 we can that night was bad my father
can that night was bad my father insisted we sleep on the floor an old
insisted we sleep on the floor an old Jewish custom I guess he held me and
Jewish custom I guess he held me and moaned to himself all night I was
moaned to himself all night I was uncomfortable we were
uncomfortable we were scared the next day the funeral home was
scared the next day the funeral home was worse my father fought for self-control
worse my father fought for self-control and pray I was pretty spaced out in
and pray I was pretty spaced out in those days I prayed to my mother from
those days I prayed to my mother from the Tibetan book of the oh nobly born in
the Tibetan book of the oh nobly born in your journey through the less void
your journey through the less void remember Unity of all living
remember Unity of all living things Anna Anna Anna it was too much I
things Anna Anna Anna it was too much I had to
had to leave a friend in the family found me
leave a friend in the family found me out in the
out in the hall now you cry better you cry when
hall now you cry better you cry when your mother was still alive
your mother was still alive I felt nauseous the guilt was
overwhelming the next week we spent in the morning my father's friend all
the morning my father's friend all offered me hostility mixed in with their
offered me hostility mixed in with their condolences Arthur we're so sorry it's
condolences Arthur we're so sorry it's his fault the punk they think it's my
his fault the punk they think it's my fault but for the most part I was left
fault but for the most part I was left alone with my
thoughts hit mommy [ __ ] I remember the last time I
mommy [ __ ] I remember the last time I saw her
saw her Arty she came into my room it was late
Arty she came into my room it was late at night Arty you still love me don't
at night Arty you still love me don't you I turned away resentful of the way
you I turned away resentful of the way she tightened the umbilical cord sure
she tightened the umbilical cord sure ma she walked out and closed the
ma she walked out and closed the door well mom if you're listening
door well mom if you're listening congratulations you've committed the
congratulations you've committed the Perfect
Perfect Crime you put me here shorted my
Crime you put me here shorted my circuits cut my nerve endings and cross
circuits cut my nerve endings and cross my
my wires you murdered me Mommy and you left
wires you murdered me Mommy and you left me here to take the wp pipe down Mac
me here to take the wp pipe down Mac some of us are trying to sleep gee I'm
some of us are trying to sleep gee I'm surprised that black read this when he
surprised that black read this when he found it he never reads comics he
found it he never reads comics he doesn't even look at my work when I
doesn't even look at my work when I stick it under his nose but this isn't
stick it under his nose but this isn't like other comics
like other comics I tell you when Ruthie showed it to me I
I tell you when Ruthie showed it to me I thought I'd faint I was so shocked it
thought I'd faint I was so shocked it was so so
was so so personal but very accurate objective I
personal but very accurate objective I spent a lot of time helping out here
spent a lot of time helping out here after Anna's Funeral it was just as you
after Anna's Funeral it was just as you said so Ry I'm ready let's walk now to
said so Ry I'm ready let's walk now to the bank
the bank together Mala just told me that you saw
together Mala just told me that you saw my comic the one about Mom yes I found
my comic the one about Mom yes I found it when I looked for the things you
it when I looked for the things you asked me last time
asked me last time I saw the picture there of mom so I read
I saw the picture there of mom so I read it and I cried I I'm sorry it's good you
it and I cried I I'm sorry it's good you got it outside your system but for me it
got it outside your system but for me it brought in mind so much memories of
brought in mind so much memories of Anna of course I'm thinking always about
Anna of course I'm thinking always about her
her anyway yes you keep photos of her all
anyway yes you keep photos of her all around your desk like a shrine what have
around your desk like a shrine what have I to do Mala in the garbage put them of
I to do Mala in the garbage put them of you also I have a photo on the desk
you also I have a photo on the desk don't do me any
don't do me any favors you see what I have with her
favors you see what I have with her always whatever I do is no good did you
always whatever I do is no good did you find Mom's diary so far this didn't show
find Mom's diary so far this didn't show up I looked but I can't find I've got to
up I looked but I can't find I've got to have that another time I'll again look
have that another time I'll again look but now better we go to the bank okay
but now better we go to the bank okay every day I walk otherwise in my legs
every day I walk otherwise in my legs the circulations make me cramp it's
the circulations make me cramp it's something terrible and I can't sleep but
something terrible and I can't sleep but for my heart I must walk slow what
for my heart I must walk slow what happened to you and Anna after the big
happened to you and Anna after the big selection at the
selection at the stadium well for a time it was
stadium well for a time it was everything quiet then in 1943 came an
everything quiet then in 1943 came an order all Jews that are left in szak
order all Jews that are left in szak must go and live in the Old Village
must go and live in the Old Village nearby called soda and the pools in soda
nearby called soda and the pools in soda we Jews had to pay to move them to our
we Jews had to pay to move them to our houses in Sak and here in soda would be
houses in Sak and here in soda would be our ghetto to live ever after our family
our ghetto to live ever after our family got a Cottage less space them before but
got a Cottage less space them before but we had at least where to live many lived
we had at least where to live many lived only in the street each day we were
only in the street each day we were taken to Sak to work in the German shops
taken to Sak to work in the German shops Anna and her sisters Tasha they worked
Anna and her sisters Tasha they worked in the clothing Factory and I went
in the clothing Factory and I went together with my nephew lolik to a
together with my nephew lolik to a woodwork shop every day the guards March
woodwork shop every day the guards March us about an hour and a half to work the
us about an hour and a half to work the guards it was the Jews with Big Sticks
guards it was the Jews with Big Sticks they acted so just like the Germans and
they acted so just like the Germans and every night they marched us back counted
every night they marched us back counted us and locked us in vladic lck hurry
us and locked us in vladic lck hurry home Anna what is it W's uncle parisis
home Anna what is it W's uncle parisis is at our house from Zira yes he's a big
is at our house from Zira yes he's a big shot there the head of the Jewish
shot there the head of the Jewish Council he wants W Tasha and BB to go
Council he wants W Tasha and BB to go live with him in
live with him in Sea you've all heard the stories about
Sea you've all heard the stories about ashwoods horrible unbelievable stories
ashwoods horrible unbelievable stories they can't be true one thing is certain
they can't be true one thing is certain as bad as things are in the ghetto
as bad as things are in the ghetto being deported is even worse please it's
being deported is even worse please it's bad luck to even speak of it look you
bad luck to even speak of it look you don't have much influence here in Sea I
don't have much influence here in Sea I have some influence with the Germans I
have some influence with the Germans I can bribe them my 90-year-old father
can bribe them my 90-year-old father still lives with me whenever there's a
still lives with me whenever there's a Roundup an SS man guards him to keep him
Roundup an SS man guards him to keep him safe 90 this was
safe 90 this was 1943 it wasn't left any other Jews would
1943 it wasn't left any other Jews would had 90 years Pius was really a fine man
had 90 years Pius was really a fine man not so like monic Marin the head of AR
not so like monic Marin the head of AR ghetto who looked only out for himself
ghetto who looked only out for himself Pierce has tried really to help his Jews
Pierce has tried really to help his Jews I can manage papers to take W Tasha and
I can manage papers to take W Tasha and bibe and maybe little lonia and rev if
bibe and maybe little lonia and rev if you let me yes they'd be better off you
you let me yes they'd be better off you see I wanted to send rev someplace safe
see I wanted to send rev someplace safe a year ago with Eli's child things are
a year ago with Eli's child things are even worse now vladic we have no choice
even worse now vladic we have no choice no we must all stay together we've made
no we must all stay together we've made it this far God will still help us Mata
it this far God will still help us Mata be realistic Anna's mother didn't like
be realistic Anna's mother didn't like to look at the facts but finally even
to look at the facts but finally even she agreed so parisis arranged and he
she agreed so parisis arranged and he came again to soda it went with him W
came again to soda it went with him W Tasha and bibe loic's little sister
Tasha and bibe loic's little sister lunia and our boy rev we watched until
lunia and our boy rev we watched until they disappeared from our
they disappeared from our eyes it was the last time ever we saw
eyes it was the last time ever we saw them but that we couldn't know when
them but that we couldn't know when things came worse than our ghetto we
things came worse than our ghetto we said always thank God the kidss are with
said always thank God the kidss are with parus
parus safe that spring on one day the Germans
safe that spring on one day the Germans took from sudula to ashz over a thousand
took from sudula to ashz over a thousand people most they took were kids some
people most they took were kids some only two or three
only two or three years some kids were screaming and
years some kids were screaming and screaming they couldn't stop so the
screaming they couldn't stop so the Germans swing them by the legs against a
Germans swing them by the legs against a wall and they never anymore
wall and they never anymore screamed in this way the Germans treated
screamed in this way the Germans treated the little ones what still had survived
the little ones what still had survived a little this I didn't see with my own
a little this I didn't see with my own eyes but somebody the next day told me
eyes but somebody the next day told me and I said Thank God with parisis our
and I said Thank God with parisis our children are safe so what happened to
children are safe so what happened to rev our beautiful boy we only found out
rev our beautiful boy we only found out much later a few months after we sent
much later a few months after we sent rev to ziaa the Germans decided they
rev to ziaa the Germans decided they would finish out that ghetto more
would finish out that ghetto more gunshots what's going on it's horrible
gunshots what's going on it's horrible Tasha all the gapo in the ghetto have
Tasha all the gapo in the ghetto have been replaced by others from opol they
been replaced by others from opol they just shot paras's and the rest of the
just shot paras's and the rest of the Jewish Council
Jewish Council what they're evacuating Zira we're all
what they're evacuating Zira we're all supposed to go to the square with our
supposed to go to the square with our baggage right away they're sending all
baggage right away they're sending all of us out to ashz oh my
of us out to ashz oh my God no I won't go to their gas Chambers
God no I won't go to their gas Chambers and my children won't go to their gas
and my children won't go to their gas Chambers bib lunia rev come here quickly
Chambers bib lunia rev come here quickly always Tasha carried around her neck
always Tasha carried around her neck some poison she killed not only only
some poison she killed not only only herself but also the three
herself but also the three children I'm telling you it was a
children I'm telling you it was a tragedy among tragedies he was such a
tragedy among tragedies he was such a happy beautiful boy did Tasha's husband
happy beautiful boy did Tasha's husband survive no on the train to ashwoods he
survive no on the train to ashwoods he tried to escape and they shot him hardly
tried to escape and they shot him hardly any
any survived but these things we learned
survived but these things we learned only much later in our bunkers we heard
only much later in our bunkers we heard only
only rumors your bunkers yes we hadn't so dro
rumors your bunkers yes we hadn't so dro to make ourselves bunkers places to hide
to make ourselves bunkers places to hide the German started to grab out anybody
the German started to grab out anybody if he had papers or no therefore I
if he had papers or no therefore I arranged for us a very good hiding spot
arranged for us a very good hiding spot in our s where it was a coal storage
in our s where it was a coal storage show to me your pencil and I can explain
show to me your pencil and I can explain to you such things it's good to know
to you such things it's good to know exactly how was it just in
exactly how was it just in case in the kitchen was a cool cabinet
case in the kitchen was a cool cabinet maybe 4T wide inside I made a hole to go
maybe 4T wide inside I made a hole to go down the cellar and there we made a
down the cellar and there we made a brick wall filed high with
brick wall filed high with coal behind this wall we could be a
coal behind this wall we could be a little
little safe even when they came with dogs smell
safe even when they came with dogs smell us out and they knew that Jews are
us out and they knew that Jews are laying here but still they couldn't
laying here but still they couldn't find the dogs ran up and down like mad
find the dogs ran up and down like mad but in the C bin was only cool it looked
but in the C bin was only cool it looked full and they couldn't lift it and the
full and they couldn't lift it and the Sellar it was only a sell is it safe to
Sellar it was only a sell is it safe to go out yet I can't stand all these worms
go out yet I can't stand all these worms crawling over me the German are leaving
crawling over me the German are leaving we had worms there in the bunker we've
we had worms there in the bunker we've got enough food to stay here for a
got enough food to stay here for a couple days we'd better wait until
couple days we'd better wait until things quiet down we survived there a
things quiet down we survived there a few actions but others what didn't have
few actions but others what didn't have such a good place like what I made they
such a good place like what I made they kept being taken away then in June they
kept being taken away then in June they arrested monik Marin and all the other
arrested monik Marin and all the other highest big shots of the Juden rot the
highest big shots of the Juden rot the Jewish Council around this time we were
Jewish Council around this time we were put into a different house here also we
put into a different house here also we made a bunker by the end of July the
made a bunker by the end of July the Nazis made to liquidate completely our
Nazis made to liquidate completely our ghetto it was 10,000 shoes taken away in
ghetto it was 10,000 shoes taken away in one week except to sneak for food we
one week except to sneak for food we stayed mostly in the bunker lck thank
stayed mostly in the bunker lck thank God you're safe it's like a battlefield
God you're safe it's like a battlefield outside there's hardly anyone left in
outside there's hardly anyone left in sardula everyone has been deported or
sardula everyone has been deported or shot from all the Jews of all Sak it was
shot from all the Jews of all Sak it was left maybe a thousand in the ghetto at
left maybe a thousand in the ghetto at least your bag is full you found a lot
least your bag is full you found a lot of food yes just a few old turnips and
of food yes just a few old turnips and some books
some books books what's the matter with you we
books what's the matter with you we can't eat books sh all the time we were
can't eat books sh all the time we were hungry we just didn't have what to
hungry we just didn't have what to eat one night we went to sneak for food
eat one night we went to sneak for food look a stranger we dragged him up to our
look a stranger we dragged him up to our bunker what are you doing here I I
bunker what are you doing here I I didn't know anyone lived here I just
didn't know anyone lived here I just stopped to rest a moment my wife and I
stopped to rest a moment my wife and I have a starving baby I was out hunting
have a starving baby I was out hunting for scraps he's lying he may be an
for scraps he's lying he may be an Informer the safe thing would be to kill
Informer the safe thing would be to kill him what had we to do we took on him
him what had we to do we took on him pity in the morning we gave a little
pity in the morning we gave a little food to him and left him go to his
food to him and left him go to his family Juden Ras the gapo came that
family Juden Ras the gapo came that afternoon they took us to a building in
afternoon they took us to a building in part of sedula separated by wires A
part of sedula separated by wires A Ghetto inside the ghetto and there we
Ghetto inside the ghetto and there we had to sit and wait there was maybe 200
had to sit and wait there was maybe 200 people together waiting each one they
people together waiting each one they went BS to
went BS to owitz when we were caught it was then
owitz when we were caught it was then maybe a Thursday
maybe a Thursday look Anna that's my cousin Jack off's
look Anna that's my cousin Jack off's speleman in the courtyard hey Jack off
speleman in the courtyard hey Jack off help jack off help us vladic there's
help jack off help us vladic there's nothing I can do I made signs to show I
nothing I can do I made signs to show I could pay some gold I hid in the chimney
could pay some gold I hid in the chimney of our bunkers when they took us but a
of our bunkers when they took us but a few valuables I had still with me okay
few valuables I had still with me okay don't worry hll will come help you hasal
don't worry hll will come help you hasal spiegelman was another cousin wouldn't
spiegelman was another cousin wouldn't they have helped you even if they
they have helped you even if they couldn't pay I mean you were from the
couldn't pay I mean you were from the same family huh you don't understand at
same family huh you don't understand at that time it wasn't any more families it
that time it wasn't any more families it was everybody to take care for himself
was everybody to take care for himself the next day came two girls carrying
the next day came two girls carrying food with them came has a chief of the
food with them came has a chief of the Jewish police look vladic I can get you
Jewish police look vladic I can get you and your wife out even your nephew but
and your wife out even your nephew but your in-laws are too old they'll never
your in-laws are too old they'll never get past the guards please we'll make it
get past the guards please we'll make it worth your while the two girls he sent
worth your while the two girls he sent back to the kitchen quick boy grab this
back to the kitchen quick boy grab this empty panel and carry it out with me me
empty panel and carry it out with me me from the window we saw lolic go my God
from the window we saw lolic go my God vladic you must get meca and me out too
vladic you must get meca and me out too give your cousin this gold watch this
give your cousin this gold watch this diamond
diamond anything of course I I'll do everything
anything of course I I'll do everything I can the day after Anna and I carried
I can the day after Anna and I carried past the guards of the empty
past the guards of the empty pales hasal took from me my father's
pales hasal took from me my father's in-law's Jewels but finally he didn't
in-law's Jewels but finally he didn't help them on Wednesday the Vans came
help them on Wednesday the Vans came Anna and I saw her father at the window
Anna and I saw her father at the window he was tearing his hair and crying he
he was tearing his hair and crying he was a millionaire but even this didn't
was a millionaire but even this didn't save him his life so Mon's parents die
save him his life so Mon's parents die in
in nowitz no what else right away they went
nowitz no what else right away they went to the gas hasell was happy to take from
to the gas hasell was happy to take from father-in-law the jewels but the risk to
father-in-law the jewels but the risk to save them this he was not so happy to
save them this he was not so happy to take always hasal was such a guy a
take always hasal was such a guy a combinator a
combinator a what a guy what makes combin
what a guy what makes combin a schemer a
a schemer a crook what did you pick up telephone
crook what did you pick up telephone wire this is very hard to find inside
wire this is very hard to find inside it's little wires it's good for tying
it's little wires it's good for tying things you always pick up trash can't
things you always pick up trash can't you just buy
you just buy wire why Always you want to buy one you
wire why Always you want to buy one you can find anyway this wire they don't
can find anyway this wire they don't have it in any
have it in any stores I'll give you some wire you'll
stores I'll give you some wire you'll see how useful it is no thanks just tell
see how useful it is no thanks just tell me what happened with
me what happened with hll there were only about a thousand
hll there were only about a thousand Jews left here most work at the baron
Jews left here most work at the baron Shoe Shop has was a very big man in the
Shoe Shop has was a very big man in the ghetto too then when srer was finishing
ghetto too then when srer was finishing I'll register you both there and good
I'll register you both there and good afternoon Sergeant how are you hair
afternoon Sergeant how are you hair sperman hasool played very often cards
sperman hasool played very often cards with the gapo we'll see you tonight yes
with the gapo we'll see you tonight yes naturally I just hope you won't be as
naturally I just hope you won't be as lucky as last time he lost to them big
lucky as last time he lost to them big amounts of money so they would like him
amounts of money so they would like him milock take care of your cousin vadic
milock take care of your cousin vadic gladly hasell had two brothers M and
gladly hasell had two brothers M and Milo pach was also a combinator but
Milo pach was also a combinator but milock he was a fine fellow Ben here can
milock he was a fine fellow Ben here can show you how to reso the German
show you how to reso the German boots Reserve this workbench for you you
boots Reserve this workbench for you you don't have to see here all the time but
don't have to see here all the time but whenever the German commissions comes to
whenever the German commissions comes to inspect just sit here and look
inspect just sit here and look busy from time to time I had other jobs
busy from time to time I had other jobs also to do around the ghetto yes this
also to do around the ghetto yes this reminds me something now remember this
reminds me something now remember this guy what I told you gave us out of our
guy what I told you gave us out of our buker well you know I buried him hey
buker well you know I buried him hey this is the rat that turned my family
this is the rat that turned my family over to the gapo he was shot hasco had a
over to the gapo he was shot hasco had a range he would be
range he would be killed but if he's dead why are his eyes
killed but if he's dead why are his eyes still wide open he was struggling to
still wide open he was struggling to survive it happened I was on the work
survive it happened I was on the work detail so I buried him
detail so I buried him hascal is still alive in Poland with a
hascal is still alive in Poland with a Polish woman a judge who kept him hidden
when my heart already quick from my pocket a nitrat
pocket a nitrat pill here you
pill here you [Music]
[Music] okay I I'll be fine now I have only to
okay I I'll be fine now I have only to catch my breath still for a minute let's
catch my breath still for a minute let's sit on that stoop just relax don't talk
sit on that stoop just relax don't talk for a
for a while I made too fast of our walking
while I made too fast of our walking thank god with the Nitra set it's
thank god with the Nitra set it's completely over right away what was I
completely over right away what was I telling you you sure you're okay well
telling you you sure you're okay well you were saying that has will survived
you were saying that has will survived the war yes even a few years ago I sent
the war yes even a few years ago I sent him packages gifts why he sounds like a
him packages gifts why he sounds like a rotten guy yes I don't know why I know
rotten guy yes I don't know why I know only that I sent
only that I sent you know one time I was in the ghetto
you know one time I was in the ghetto walking around H
walking around H je give me your ID papers I'm going to
je give me your ID papers I'm going to blow your brains
blow your brains out ah I see your a member of the
out ah I see your a member of the illustrious beelman family go on your
illustrious beelman family go on your way then and give has my
way then and give has my regards such friends hasell
regards such friends hasell had I told has and milock later about
had I told has and milock later about this you were very lucky bck they call
this you were very lucky bck they call him the shooter every day he kills some
him the shooter every day he kills some poor Jew just for fun hey aren't you
poor Jew just for fun hey aren't you going over to pasas to buy some cake
going over to pasas to buy some cake cake for years we didn't see any cake
cake for years we didn't see any cake hardly even bread we
hardly even bread we saw it's impossible he's joking cake but
saw it's impossible he's joking cake but cousin pasach was really selling cake
cousin pasach was really selling cake everyone what could afford it stood
everyone what could afford it stood online to buy a piece how did you manage
online to buy a piece how did you manage it pasos when people are sent to AST my
it pasos when people are sent to AST my men search their houses bash was like
men search their houses bash was like has part of the Jewish police they find
has part of the Jewish police they find a little flour here a few grams of sugar
a little flour here a few grams of sugar there I saved it he was younger from has
there I saved it he was younger from has but also a combinator and you know what
but also a combinator and you know what I cook my Rifka is try it only 75 zotes
I cook my Rifka is try it only 75 zotes a
a slice I had still savings so I got for
slice I had still savings so I got for Anna and me some cake but the whole
Anna and me some cake but the whole ghetto we were so sick later you can't
ghetto we were so sick later you can't imagine some of the flour pasach found
imagine some of the flour pasach found wasn't really flour only laundry soap
wasn't really flour only laundry soap what he put put in the cake by mistake
what he put put in the cake by mistake ow oi we were all of us sick like
ow oi we were all of us sick like dogs before the war shash had a resort
dogs before the war shash had a resort hotel in sakaan in those days also he
hotel in sakaan in those days also he found always schemes all guests had to
found always schemes all guests had to pay big Polish taxes so pasach took
pay big Polish taxes so pasach took bribes not to register them but if an
bribes not to register them but if an inspector came the guests had to hide
inspector came the guests had to hide themselves away one time his wife made
themselves away one time his wife made not enough desserts to give to everybody
not enough desserts to give to everybody so pasach ran to the dining room and
so pasach ran to the dining room and yelled inspectors are coming it was no
yelled inspectors are coming it was no inspector of course but 40% of the
inspector of course but 40% of the guests ran fast from the room bash had
guests ran fast from the room bash had enough desserts left over even for the
enough desserts left over even for the next day come are you ready to walk
next day come are you ready to walk again yes it's too dirty to sit but
again yes it's too dirty to sit but really if I didn't have my nitrat it
really if I didn't have my nitrat it could have been just now something
could have been just now something terrible milock spiegelman he survived
terrible milock spiegelman he survived the war with his wife and child and they
the war with his wife and child and they moved to Australia about 5 years ago he
moved to Australia about 5 years ago he got a big heart attack and last year he
got a big heart attack and last year he got on the street a seizure like what I
got on the street a seizure like what I had just now but he didn't have with him
had just now but he didn't have with him his pills his wife ran to find a
his pills his wife ran to find a drugstore when she came back milock was
drugstore when she came back milock was dead no so life goes but I must finish
dead no so life goes but I must finish quick to tell you the rest about
quick to tell you the rest about sadula because we will come soon over to
sadula because we will come soon over to the bank by the end of 194 the Vans went
the bank by the end of 194 the Vans went every Wednesday with more and more and
every Wednesday with more and more and more people from sedula to ashz until it
more people from sedula to ashz until it was very few left it could be our turn
was very few left it could be our turn soon a vtic let's hope not Milik hasell
soon a vtic let's hope not Milik hasell heard that any day now they intend to
heard that any day now they intend to deport everyone that's still left here
deport everyone that's still left here miloff took me to the shoe shop it was
miloff took me to the shoe shop it was early and nobody was there hasell made
early and nobody was there hasell made plans smuggle himself out of the ghetto
plans smuggle himself out of the ghetto Kash and I have a plan also he moved a
Kash and I have a plan also he moved a few shoes from a pile high to the
few shoes from a pile high to the ceiling and took me inside a tunnel
ceiling and took me inside a tunnel don't tell anyone about this except for
don't tell anyone about this except for Anna and your nephew a tunnel made from
Anna and your nephew a tunnel made from shoes we came out to a bunker be
shoes we came out to a bunker be prepared to bring them on a moment's
prepared to bring them on a moment's notice
notice incredible everything was ready here so
incredible everything was ready here so 15 or 16 people could hide but when Anna
15 or 16 people could hide but when Anna and I approached to discuss this bunker
and I approached to discuss this bunker with lck no thanks forget it but milock
with lck no thanks forget it but milock organized everything I'm sick of hiding
organized everything I'm sick of hiding our nephew was then only 15 he was
our nephew was then only 15 he was working as an electrician always lck was
working as an electrician always lck was a little
a little mesua I'm a skilled worker wherever they
mesua I'm a skilled worker wherever they take me I'll be okay you're crazy you're
take me I'll be okay you're crazy you're going straight to the ovens and he did
going straight to the ovens and he did get put into one of those next
get put into one of those next transports to ashwoods Anna became
transports to ashwoods Anna became completely hysterical the whole family
completely hysterical the whole family is gone Grandma and Grandpa Papa Mama
is gone Grandma and Grandpa Papa Mama Tasha
Tasha my rev now they'll take
my rev now they'll take loic it was also around this time that
loic it was also around this time that we heard the first the bad news from
we heard the first the bad news from Zira about Tasha and rev oh God let me
Zira about Tasha and rev oh God let me die too come Anna get up why are you
die too come Anna get up why are you pulling me vladic let me alone I don't
pulling me vladic let me alone I don't want to live no darling to die it's easy
want to live no darling to die it's easy but you have to struggle for life until
but you have to struggle for life until the last moment we must struggle
the last moment we must struggle together I need you
together I need you and you'll see that together we'll
and you'll see that together we'll survive this always I told
survive this always I told her the GTO finished out so like milock
her the GTO finished out so like milock said about 12 from us ran into his
said about 12 from us ran into his bunker with him his wife and his
bunker with him his wife and his three-year-old baby boy gucha you've got
three-year-old baby boy gucha you've got to keep the baby
to keep the baby quiet I'm hungry hush we'll have to keep
quiet I'm hungry hush we'll have to keep him under blankets until he calms down
him under blankets until he calms down in a bunker in another part of the shoe
in a bunker in another part of the shoe shop lay pasach and and some
shop lay pasach and and some others it was nothing to do all day but
others it was nothing to do all day but to lie and to starve the whole day and
to lie and to starve the whole day and night Anna SAT writing in her
night Anna SAT writing in her notebook there I've managed to dig a
notebook there I've managed to dig a small hole in the stone wall I can see
small hole in the stone wall I can see the soldiers all around were guards to
the soldiers all around were guards to find any who remained hiding what little
find any who remained hiding what little food we had soon was
food we had soon was gone oh I wish I had some bread I wish I
gone oh I wish I had some bread I wish I had some bread I wish quiet we're all
had some bread I wish quiet we're all starving at night we sneaked out to look
starving at night we sneaked out to look for what to eat but it was nothing to
for what to eat but it was nothing to find here anna chew on this you found
find here anna chew on this you found food never any of us have been so hungry
food never any of us have been so hungry like then no it's only wood but chewing
like then no it's only wood but chewing it feels a little like eating food after
it feels a little like eating food after a Time pasach came over to us from his
a Time pasach came over to us from his bunker maybe you fools are willing to
bunker maybe you fools are willing to lie here until you starve to death but
lie here until you starve to death but not me I've contacted one of the guards
not me I've contacted one of the guards it'll cost a fortune but he's agreed to
it'll cost a fortune but he's agreed to look the other way our group will mix in
look the other way our group will mix in with the pools when they walk past
with the pools when they walk past sedula on the way to work tomorrow if
sedula on the way to work tomorrow if you want to chip in you can come with us
you want to chip in you can come with us many from our bunker said yes milock and
many from our bunker said yes milock and I we said no to this idea we didn't
I we said no to this idea we didn't trust the Germans one guy from our
trust the Germans one guy from our bunker aam came to me he said tell me
bunker aam came to me he said tell me when you will get out vadic then I'll
when you will get out vadic then I'll know it's safe he and his girlfriend
know it's safe he and his girlfriend wanted to pay me to advise they had
wanted to pay me to advise they had still two watches and some diamond rings
still two watches and some diamond rings I didn't want to take they needed these
I didn't want to take they needed these to live so I took only the small watch
to live so I took only the small watch the next morning very early the group
the next morning very early the group walked out they gave over the money and
walked out they gave over the money and went past the guard I stood secret
went past the guard I stood secret behind a corner I heard loud shooting
behind a corner I heard loud shooting and I didn't go to see what happened
and I didn't go to see what happened Taka Taka Taka I only ran very fast back
Taka Taka Taka I only ran very fast back to our
to our bunker only a few of us remained there
bunker only a few of us remained there haven't been any lights on in the guard
haven't been any lights on in the guard house for two nights I think it's safe
house for two nights I think it's safe they're all
they're all gone the ghetto is empty ahead of time
gone the ghetto is empty ahead of time we organized ourselves good clothes and
we organized ourselves good clothes and ID
ID papers we mixed with the pools going to
papers we mixed with the pools going to work we'll be hiding at this address
work we'll be hiding at this address when you find a safe place try to
when you find a safe place try to contact us fattic good luck milock we
contact us fattic good luck milock we want all in different
want all in different directions that guy Abram his woman had
directions that guy Abram his woman had friends to keep them and the friend
friends to keep them and the friend friends kept them until aam's money
friends kept them until aam's money finished then they were
finished then they were reported an and I didn't have where to
reported an and I didn't have where to go we walked in the direction of Sak but
go we walked in the direction of Sak but where to go it was nowhere we had to
where to go it was nowhere we had to hide can I help you Mr spiegelman yes I
hide can I help you Mr spiegelman yes I have here my son Arty I want to sign him
have here my son Arty I want to sign him a key so he can also go to my safety box
a key so he can also go to my safety box in case something bad happens to me you
in case something bad happens to me you must run right away over here therefore
must run right away over here therefore I arranged for you this key take
I arranged for you this key take everything out from the safe otherwise
everything out from the safe otherwise it can go only to taxes or Mala will
it can go only to taxes or Mala will grab it please pop talking about your
grab it please pop talking about your Estates makes me feel uncomfortable
Estates makes me feel uncomfortable you're now old enough so we must think
you're now old enough so we must think of these things why don't you just enjoy
of these things why don't you just enjoy your savings while you still can I'll
your savings while you still can I'll keep in my desk your copy of the key you
keep in my desk your copy of the key you only would lose it look you see what I
only would lose it look you see what I have here the cigarette case and the
have here the cigarette case and the ladies powder case it's 14 Kat gold
ladies powder case it's 14 Kat gold uh-huh these things I had with me then
uh-huh these things I had with me then in Zula in the chandelier
in Zula in the chandelier bunker really how can you possibly still
bunker really how can you possibly still have them when the gapo found us I
have them when the gapo found us I dropped quickly a few things into the
dropped quickly a few things into the chimney if they found the rest of my
chimney if they found the rest of my Jewels at least these might remain after
Jewels at least these might remain after I came out from the camps in 1945 I
I came out from the camps in 1945 I sneaked back to sedula and at night
sneaked back to sedula and at night while the people inside slept I dig
while the people inside slept I dig these things out from the bottom of the
these things out from the bottom of the chimney
chimney gosh you see this diamond this I gave to
gosh you see this diamond this I gave to Anna when we first came to the US even
Anna when we first came to the US even when you were a little boy Anna wanted
when you were a little boy Anna wanted this ring should be for your wife but if
this ring should be for your wife but if I give it to you molet will drive me
I give it to you molet will drive me crazy she wants everything only for her
crazy she wants everything only for her she wants that I give nothing for my
she wants that I give nothing for my brother in Israel and nothing for you
brother in Israel and nothing for you three times already she made me change
three times already she made me change over my will come on Ma's okay you only
over my will come on Ma's okay you only can't know even right after my last
can't know even right after my last heart attack when still I was in bed she
heart attack when still I was in bed she started again about changing the will I
started again about changing the will I said Mala you see how sick I am let me a
said Mala you see how sick I am let me a little bit have some peace what you want
little bit have some peace what you want from me she screamed I want the money
from me she screamed I want the money the money the money why Arty why I ever
the money the money why Arty why I ever remarried o Anna Anna Anna easy pop
remarried o Anna Anna Anna easy pop let's go home
Mouse a survivors tale by Arts beagan chapter 6 another visit anybody
beagan chapter 6 another visit anybody home the door wasn't locked so I huh
home the door wasn't locked so I huh Mala were you crying
Mala were you crying no I don't know I tell you I'm at my
no I don't know I tell you I'm at my wit's end
wit's end what now your father he treats me as if
what now your father he treats me as if I were a maid or his nurse worse at
I were a maid or his nurse worse at least a maid has some days off and gets
least a maid has some days off and gets paid he only gives me $50 a month when I
paid he only gives me $50 a month when I need a pair of stockings I have to use
need a pair of stockings I have to use my own
my own savings well he hasn't changed whenever
savings well he hasn't changed whenever I needed school supplies or new clothes
I needed school supplies or new clothes mom would have to plead and argue for
mom would have to plead and argue for weeks before he'd cough up any dough
weeks before he'd cough up any dough when I try to argue with him he moans
when I try to argue with him he moans like he's going to have another heart
like he's going to have another heart attack
attack I can't be sure if he's faking so I have
I can't be sure if he's faking so I have to stop I feel like I'm in prison I feel
to stop I feel like I'm in prison I feel like I'm going to burst I'm going to get
like I'm going to burst I'm going to get some juice want some no I'll tell you
some juice want some no I'll tell you something when we first got married I
something when we first got married I needed clothes it was a year and a half
needed clothes it was a year and a half after Anna died he took me to her closet
after Anna died he took me to her closet and said all these are for you I said I
and said all these are for you I said I wouldn't touch her
wouldn't touch her things my God how that man carried on I
things my God how that man carried on I swear sometimes I think he married me
swear sometimes I think he married me because I'm the same size as Anna he's
because I'm the same size as Anna he's always been uh pragmatic pragmatic cheap
always been uh pragmatic pragmatic cheap it causes him physical pain to part with
it causes him physical pain to part with even a nickel uhhuh I used to think the
even a nickel uhhuh I used to think the war made him that
war made him that way I went through the camps all our
way I went through the camps all our friends went through the camps no one is
friends went through the camps no one is like him H it's something that worries
like him H it's something that worries me about the book I'm doing about him in
me about the book I'm doing about him in some ways he's just like the racist
some ways he's just like the racist caricature of The Miser old Jew huh you
caricature of The Miser old Jew huh you could say that again I mean I'm trying
could say that again I mean I'm trying to portray my father accurately even for
to portray my father accurately even for himself he won't spend any money he has
himself he won't spend any money he has hundreds of thousands of dollars in the
hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank and he lives like a popper look he
bank and he lives like a popper look he grb paper towels from the restrooms so
grb paper towels from the restrooms so he won't have to buy napkins or
he won't have to buy napkins or tissues I wish I got Mom store while she
tissues I wish I got Mom store while she was alive she was more sensitive it can
was alive she was more sensitive it can give the book some balance your mother I
give the book some balance your mother I just don't know how she could stand
just don't know how she could stand living with him
living with him I don't know how I can stand it so hi
I don't know how I can stand it so hi kids I didn't know you were upstairs
kids I didn't know you were upstairs here I was watering downstairs the
here I was watering downstairs the garden Ma and I were just talking about
garden Ma and I were just talking about my book I've already started to sketch
my book I've already started to sketch out some parts I'll show you see here
out some parts I'll show you see here are the black market Jews they hanged in
are the black market Jews they hanged in Sak and here's you
Sak and here's you saying when I think of them it's still
saying when I think of them it's still makes me cry yes still it makes me cry
makes me cry yes still it makes me cry it's an important book people who don't
it's an important book people who don't usually read such stories will be
usually read such stories will be interested yes I don't read ever such
interested yes I don't read ever such comics and even I am interested of
comics and even I am interested of course you're interested it's your story
course you're interested it's your story yes I know already My Story by heart and
yes I know already My Story by heart and even I am interested it should be very
even I am interested it should be very successful yeah someday you'll be famous
successful yeah someday you'll be famous like what's his name huh famous like
like what's his name huh famous like what's his name you know the big shot
what's his name you know the big shot cartoonist what cartoonist could you
cartoonist what cartoonist could you know Walt Disney yeah Walt
know Walt Disney yeah Walt Disney wait where do you go Ry to get a
Disney wait where do you go Ry to get a pencil I've just got to write this
pencil I've just got to write this conversation down before I forget it
conversation down before I forget it come we'll all of us go to the Garden
come we'll all of us go to the Garden you'll see how nice it looks the bushes
you'll see how nice it looks the bushes you go I've got to get ready I have an
you go I've got to get ready I have an appointment at the
appointment at the hairdressers again to the hairdressers
hairdressers again to the hairdressers only a week ago you went she sees more
only a week ago you went she sees more often of the hairdress than she sees me
often of the hairdress than she sees me you see how it is anytime I want to go
you see how it is anytime I want to go out for a few minutes he tries to make
out for a few minutes he tries to make me feel guilty I'm supposed to be his
me feel guilty I'm supposed to be his constant be and call what I said that's
constant be and call what I said that's so terrible believe me you'd have more
so terrible believe me you'd have more fresh air from the garden than a 100
fresh air from the garden than a 100 hairdressers o vtic stop it you see how
hairdressers o vtic stop it you see how she is what have I to do with her come
she is what have I to do with her come on pop let's go sit down in the garden
on pop let's go sit down in the garden if I say only one word to her she makes
if I say only one word to her she makes right away an argument she says she
right away an argument she says she wants to leave me I tell her so here's
wants to leave me I tell her so here's the door but remember it's there only
the door but remember it's there only one way if you go out you can't come
one way if you go out you can't come back maybe you should Bose see a
back maybe you should Bose see a marriage counselor a I don't want that a
marriage counselor a I don't want that a stranger should mix into our private
stranger should mix into our private stories to a lawyer I talked years ago
stories to a lawyer I talked years ago and right away he warned me vadic watch
and right away he warned me vadic watch out I see that this woman is money
out I see that this woman is money conscience and once Ma and I sat with an
conscience and once Ma and I sat with an Helen to help agree us for a new will
Helen to help agree us for a new will but a month after MAA wanted again to
but a month after MAA wanted again to change it don't see a therapist about
change it don't see a therapist about your will talk about how to get along
your will talk about how to get along long better with Mala it's not to get
long better with Mala it's not to get along only it's the money I give up I
along only it's the money I give up I don't know what to say you see I also
don't know what to say you see I also don't know what to say look I can't stay
don't know what to say look I can't stay long I need to know more about you and
long I need to know more about you and Anna it's chilly take also here a
Anna it's chilly take also here a blanket no thanks what happened in 1944
blanket no thanks what happened in 1944 after you left
after you left sedula we sneaked toward Sak it was
sedula we sneaked toward Sak it was still dark outside we didn't know where
still dark outside we didn't know where to hide ourselves
to hide ourselves yanita lives out here rf's Governor
yanita lives out here rf's Governor always offered she would help us we came
always offered she would help us we came to her house near town open up yanita
to her house near town open up yanita quick who who's there my God it's the
quick who who's there my God it's the spielman's you'll bring trouble go away
spielman's you'll bring trouble go away quickly I'm frightened vadic maybe we
quickly I'm frightened vadic maybe we should try my father's old house the
should try my father's old house the janitor has known our family for years
janitor has known our family for years let's try we've got to get off the
let's try we've got to get off the streets Before Dawn I was a little safe
streets Before Dawn I was a little safe I had a coat and boots so like the gapa
I had a coat and boots so like the gapa wore when he was not in service but Anna
wore when he was not in service but Anna her appearance you could see more easy
her appearance you could see more easy she was Jewish I was afraid for her wake
she was Jewish I was afraid for her wake up Mr Lukowski let us in please huh who
up Mr Lukowski let us in please huh who who is it Anna Anna zberg what are you
who is it Anna Anna zberg what are you doing here child it isn't safe wait I'll
doing here child it isn't safe wait I'll unlock the gate go through the courtyard
unlock the gate go through the courtyard to the shed in the back I'll bring you
to the shed in the back I'll bring you some
some food thank God there's still some some
food thank God there's still some some kind people left I thought a jewi
kind people left I thought a jewi there's a jewi in the courtyard police
there's a jewi in the courtyard police hurry an old witch recognized Anna from
hurry an old witch recognized Anna from the window we ran fast in the shed and
the window we ran fast in the shed and hid in the straw it's okay for now I
hid in the straw it's okay for now I don't think anyone hurt her she's a
don't think anyone hurt her she's a little scile anyway but you must look
little scile anyway but you must look for a better place to say someone here
for a better place to say someone here is bound to recognize you it's almost
is bound to recognize you it's almost morning wait here I'm going out to scout
morning wait here I'm going out to scout around be be careful I walked but I
around be be careful I walked but I didn't know where to go and I heard soon
didn't know where to go and I heard soon it was somebody following behind me I
it was somebody following behind me I walked slow behind me also walked slow
walked slow behind me also walked slow if I walked fast behind me also walked
if I walked fast behind me also walked fast we were alone he
fast we were alone he spoke amcha in Hebrew he said to me our
spoke amcha in Hebrew he said to me our nation had I to answer him or no uh
nation had I to answer him or no uh amcha I thought you were a Jew I'm
amcha I thought you were a Jew I'm Jewish too there are very few of us left
Jewish too there are very few of us left my wife and I have been hiding in Sak
my wife and I have been hiding in Sak for over a year I'm with my wife too
for over a year I'm with my wife too we're hungry and we need a place to hide
we're hungry and we need a place to hide go to the black market on diura street
go to the black market on diura street number eight so I left him and went
number eight so I left him and went right away to DTA 8 there was a big
right away to DTA 8 there was a big courtyard all around I looked but it was
courtyard all around I looked but it was nobody you want to buy some food without
nobody you want to buy some food without coupons Mister she showed me sausages
coupons Mister she showed me sausages eggs cheese things I only was able to
eggs cheese things I only was able to dream about I bought and one quick back
dream about I bought and one quick back to Anna good morning fattic you were
to Anna good morning fattic you were gone so long I had to get breakfast want
gone so long I had to get breakfast want some sausages or eggs or would you
some sausages or eggs or would you prefer chocolate what it's a miracle how
prefer chocolate what it's a miracle how did you manage it I'm a magician have
did you manage it I'm a magician have some milk I went again back to dakura
some milk I went again back to dakura there I can change jewelry for Marks and
there I can change jewelry for Marks and marks for food or a place to say this
marks for food or a place to say this time it was more people there even I saw
time it was more people there even I saw some Jewish boys I knew from Before the
some Jewish boys I knew from Before the War vadex beelman I hardly recognized
War vadex beelman I hardly recognized you so you're alive eh Leo yes I'm with
you so you're alive eh Leo yes I'm with Anna we need a hiding place how about
Anna we need a hiding place how about Mrs Kafka she has a small farm on the
Mrs Kafka she has a small farm on the outskirts of town she might take you in
outskirts of town she might take you in if you can pay it was not far to go to
if you can pay it was not far to go to kafka's farm all right then Mr Spielman
kafka's farm all right then Mr Spielman you and your wife can stay in my barn
you and your wife can stay in my barn we'll come late tonight but remember if
we'll come late tonight but remember if you're found there I don't know you you
you're found there I don't know you you must say that the barn door was open and
must say that the barn door was open and you just sneaked in don't worry we won't
you just sneaked in don't worry we won't betray
betray you and so we came there to live with
you and so we came there to live with kafka's cow it's almost on when Mrs kfka
kafka's cow it's almost on when Mrs kfka comes to milk her cow she'll bring you
comes to milk her cow she'll bring you some coffee where are you going to DTA
some coffee where are you going to DTA don't leave me alone again I'm terrified
don't leave me alone again I'm terrified while you're gone don't worry Anna I'll
while you're gone don't worry Anna I'll be safe safe if I didn't go out we
be safe safe if I didn't go out we wouldn't have food we wouldn't have this
wouldn't have food we wouldn't have this place and we've got to find a warmer
place and we've got to find a warmer place for the winter away from Sak if
place for the winter away from Sak if possible I I'll be okay come back
possible I I'll be okay come back quickly I traveled often with the street
quickly I traveled often with the street car to town it was two cars one was only
car to town it was two cars one was only Germans and officials the second it was
Germans and officials the second it was only the pools always I went straight in
only the pools always I went straight in the official car hail Hitler the Germans
the official car hail Hitler the Germans paid no attention to me in the Polish
paid no attention to me in the Polish car they could smell if a polish jew
car they could smell if a polish jew came in at the black market I saw
came in at the black market I saw several times a nice woman what I made a
several times a nice woman what I made a little friends with her good morning Mr
little friends with her good morning Mr spiegelman how do you do Mrs modaa what
spiegelman how do you do Mrs modaa what do you have in your basket today how
do you have in your basket today how about a loaf of fresh bread fine fine oh
about a loaf of fresh bread fine fine oh I'm sorry I don't have any change it's
I'm sorry I don't have any change it's okay keep it for your little boy are you
okay keep it for your little boy are you and your wife still living in the barn
and your wife still living in the barn we haven't found anything better I've
we haven't found anything better I've been thinking about it why don't you
been thinking about it why don't you both move in with my son and me what
both move in with my son and me what about your husband he works in Germany
about your husband he works in Germany and only comes home for 10 days every 3
and only comes home for 10 days every 3 months I'll keep you hidden in the
months I'll keep you hidden in the cellar when he's around it sounds good
cellar when he's around it sounds good to me but it's over 20 kilm to your
to me but it's over 20 kilm to your house and so piny my wife will be afraid
house and so piny my wife will be afraid to go don't worry I'll escort you the
to go don't worry I'll escort you the next evening she came with her
next evening she came with her seven-year-old boy to kafka's
seven-year-old boy to kafka's Farmhouse I walked with monawa as if she
Farmhouse I walked with monawa as if she was my wife and Anna like a govern went
was my wife and Anna like a govern went with the little boy behind and nobody
with the little boy behind and nobody even looked on us we had here a little
even looked on us we had here a little comfortable we had where to sit remember
comfortable we had where to sit remember little one never tell anybody there are
little one never tell anybody there are Jews here they'll shoot us all yes Aunt
Jews here they'll shoot us all yes Aunt Anna the little boy was very smart and
Anna the little boy was very smart and he loved very much Anna you had to pay
he loved very much Anna you had to pay Mrs monawa to keep you right of course I
Mrs monawa to keep you right of course I paid and well I paid what do you think
paid and well I paid what do you think someone will risk their life for nothing
someone will risk their life for nothing I paid also for the food which she gave
I paid also for the food which she gave to us from her smuggling business but
to us from her smuggling business but one time I missed a few coins to the
one time I missed a few coins to the bread I'll pay you the rest tomorrow
bread I'll pay you the rest tomorrow after I go out and cash some valuables
after I go out and cash some valuables sorry I wasn't able to find any bread
sorry I wasn't able to find any bread today always she got bread so I didn't
today always she got bread so I didn't believe but still she was a good woman
believe but still she was a good woman in his school the boy was very bad in
in his school the boy was very bad in German so Anna tutored
German so Anna tutored him
him du she knew German like an expert and
du she knew German like an expert and soon he came out with very good grades
soon he came out with very good grades My teacher asked me how I improved so
My teacher asked me how I improved so much so I told him my mother was helping
much so I told him my mother was helping me he was really a clever boy but it was
me he was really a clever boy but it was a few things here not so good her home
a few things here not so good her home was very small and it was on the ground
was very small and it was on the ground floor be sure to keep away from the
floor be sure to keep away from the window you might be seen one minute
window you might be seen one minute quick get in the closet if somebody came
quick get in the closet if somebody came we had fast to hide a letter from your
we had fast to hide a letter from your husband Mrs M an hour thanks but I had
husband Mrs M an hour thanks but I had something allergic in the closet uh or
something allergic in the closet uh or maybe it was a cold I can't
maybe it was a cold I can't remember but always I had to sneeze
remember but always I had to sneeze still everything was fine until one
still everything was fine until one Saturday monawa ran very early back from
Saturday monawa ran very early back from her black market work this is terrible
her black market work this is terrible the gapu just searched me they took my
the gapu just searched me they took my goods they may come search here any
goods they may come search here any minute you've got to leave what but
minute you've got to leave what but where would we go I don't know but you
where would we go I don't know but you must get out now oh my God this is the
must get out now oh my God this is the end Anna started to cry but we had not a
end Anna started to cry but we had not a choice we'll walk towards Sak at least
choice we'll walk towards Sak at least we'll know our way around Anna was so
we'll know our way around Anna was so afraid she was shaking stay calm walk as
afraid she was shaking stay calm walk as if we were just strolling and speak
if we were just strolling and speak German for hours we walked if you can be
German for hours we walked if you can be of dark father
of dark father Kaka fattic we're being followed relax
Kaka fattic we're being followed relax but if we turn to Corner they also
turned of course I was right they didn't mean anything on us whoosh they just
mean anything on us whoosh they just were walking staying on the street all
were walking staying on the street all night is too dangerous maybe we can hide
night is too dangerous maybe we can hide in that construction site good I'm
in that construction site good I'm exhausted here was a foundation made
exhausted here was a foundation made very deep down the ground be careful I
very deep down the ground be careful I jumped first in and I pulled over bricks
jumped first in and I pulled over bricks over Anna to step down and here we
over Anna to step down and here we waited for a cold few hours for the day
waited for a cold few hours for the day it started to be light light come we
it started to be light light come we won't be noticed if we mix with people
won't be noticed if we mix with people out in the street I'm so tired and cold
out in the street I'm so tired and cold we can rest now we came finally again to
we can rest now we came finally again to this place with a cow and went inside
this place with a cow and went inside later Kafka came in who's in here the
later Kafka came in who's in here the spiegelman's we had nowhere else to go
spiegelman's we had nowhere else to go well I guess you can stay but remember I
well I guess you can stay but remember I don't know you're here why Mrs
don't know you're here why Mrs spiegelman you're shivering you can come
spiegelman you're shivering you can come into my house for an hour or so till you
into my house for an hour or so till you warm up she took Anna inside and brought
warm up she took Anna inside and brought to me some food in those days I was so
to me some food in those days I was so strong I could even sit in the snow all
strong I could even sit in the snow all night things can't be this bad
night things can't be this bad everywhere I'd give anything to get out
everywhere I'd give anything to get out of Poland you know before I took you in
of Poland you know before I took you in I had a young man and his son here two
I had a young man and his son here two people I know smuggled them into hungry
people I know smuggled them into hungry I heard he and his boy were doing very
I heard he and his boy were doing very well hungry really I like to meet those
well hungry really I like to meet those Smugglers she told me these two
Smugglers she told me these two acquaintances visit often to her on
acquaintances visit often to her on Thursday evening today was maybe a
Thursday evening today was maybe a Monday I don't get it wasn't hungry as
Monday I don't get it wasn't hungry as dangerous as Poland no for a longer time
dangerous as Poland no for a longer time it was better there in Hungary for the
it was better there in Hungary for the Jews but then near the very finish of
Jews but then near the very finish of the war they all got put also to ashz I
the war they all got put also to ashz I was there and I saw it thousands
was there and I saw it thousands hundreds of thousands of Jews from
hundreds of thousands of Jews from Hungary so many it wasn't even room
Hungary so many it wasn't even room enough to bury them all in the ovens but
enough to bury them all in the ovens but at that time when I was there with kfka
at that time when I was there with kfka we couldn't know then so I went next day
we couldn't know then so I went next day to DTA Street to buy some food oh God oh
to DTA Street to buy some food oh God oh God Mr spiegelman you're alive alive I'm
God Mr spiegelman you're alive alive I'm so glad to see you Mrs Moda I wanted to
so glad to see you Mrs Moda I wanted to find a new connection to hide us but
find a new connection to hide us but really I didn't think to find again her
really I didn't think to find again her praise Mary you're safe I couldn't sleep
praise Mary you're safe I couldn't sleep I felt so guilty about chasing you and
I felt so guilty about chasing you and your wife out the gapo never even came
your wife out the gapo never even came to my house I just panicked for nothing
to my house I just panicked for nothing please come back again Anna was glad of
please come back again Anna was glad of going back and monwa also always I paid
going back and monwa also always I paid her nicely and that same night we said
her nicely and that same night we said goodbye to kfka and went again to so
goodbye to kfka and went again to so piny after we were back only a short
piny after we were back only a short time well my husband writes that he's
time well my husband writes that he's coming home for his 10day vacation if he
coming home for his 10day vacation if he knew you were here he throw all of us
knew you were here he throw all of us out but don't worry you'll be all right
out but don't worry you'll be all right in my cellar I'll set up a mattress I'll
in my cellar I'll set up a mattress I'll come down whenever I can so each day and
come down whenever I can so each day and night we sat in such a storage locker in
night we sat in such a storage locker in the days we were afraid to breathe
the days we were afraid to breathe people came down often to their lockers
people came down often to their lockers at night we could move around a little
at night we could move around a little but it was something else down
but it was something else down there what is it the there are rats down
there what is it the there are rats down here sh calm down stop screaming those
here sh calm down stop screaming those aren't rats they're very small one ran
aren't rats they're very small one ran over my hand before they're just mice of
over my hand before they're just mice of course it was really rats but I wanted
course it was really rats but I wanted Anna to feel more easy but then Mona
Anna to feel more easy but then Mona stopped to come down it's been 3 days
stopped to come down it's been 3 days since she's brought me food here have
since she's brought me food here have another candy I had still candies I
another candy I had still candies I organized on deura only this we had to
organized on deura only this we had to eat also here we had no place where to
eat also here we had no place where to wash so Anna got on on all her skin a
wash so Anna got on on all her skin a terrible rash I don't know what's worse
terrible rash I don't know what's worse the hunger or the itching don't scratch
the hunger or the itching don't scratch it's only sh the door I'm sorry I
it's only sh the door I'm sorry I couldn't get down here before my husband
couldn't get down here before my husband is getting suspicious he asked why I go
is getting suspicious he asked why I go to The Cellar so often he even asked if
to The Cellar so often he even asked if I was hiding Jews here he was joking but
I was hiding Jews here he was joking but still are you all right here there are
still are you all right here there are rats giant rats they're horrible well
rats giant rats they're horrible well you're better off with the rats than
you're better off with the rats than with the gapo at least the rats won't
with the gapo at least the rats won't kill you
kill you H and she was right we were happy even
H and she was right we were happy even to have these conditions after the 10
to have these conditions after the 10 days her husband left and she took us
days her husband left and she took us back it's good to be home a vladic it's
back it's good to be home a vladic it's a lot nicer than that seller but I
a lot nicer than that seller but I didn't feel safe here it was too many
didn't feel safe here it was too many ways somebody could find us out I wanted
ways somebody could find us out I wanted to go better to Hungary so when it came
to go better to Hungary so when it came Thursday I went in the direction to take
Thursday I went in the direction to take the street car to see kfka and Sak look
the street car to see kfka and Sak look I had to pass where some children were
I had to pass where some children were playing a Jew a Jew they ran screaming
playing a Jew a Jew they ran screaming home help mommy a Jew a Jew quick the
home help mommy a Jew a Jew quick the mothers came outside to see what was the
mothers came outside to see what was the mothers always told so be careful a Jew
mothers always told so be careful a Jew will catch you to a bag and eat you so
will catch you to a bag and eat you so they Tau to their children I approached
they Tau to their children I approached over to them hail Hitler if I ran away
over to them hail Hitler if I ran away they would see yes it is a Jew here
they would see yes it is a Jew here don't be afraid little ones I'm not a
don't be afraid little ones I'm not a Jew I won't hurt you sorry Mister you
Jew I won't hurt you sorry Mister you know how kids are hail Hitler so I came
know how kids are hail Hitler so I came out well from this but the experience
out well from this but the experience cost me really a lot of hairs when I
cost me really a lot of hairs when I arrived to kfka the two Smugglers were
arrived to kfka the two Smugglers were there together sitting in the kitchen
there together sitting in the kitchen please wait in the other room they'll
please wait in the other room they'll see you soon Mr mandal Bal vad
see you soon Mr mandal Bal vad spiegelman mandle Bal before the war
spiegelman mandle Bal before the war owned a sweet shop Anna and I bought
owned a sweet shop Anna and I bought always pastries there he used to be a
always pastries there he used to be a very rich man salak this is my wife and
very rich man salak this is my wife and you know my nephew hello Abraham what
you know my nephew hello Abraham what are you all doing here back when it was
are you all doing here back when it was the ghetto Abraham was a big member of
the ghetto Abraham was a big member of the Jewish Council we're trying to get
the Jewish Council we're trying to get out of Poland to Hungary yes Anna and I
out of Poland to Hungary yes Anna and I are trying to arrange that too the
are trying to arrange that too the Smugglers proposed to us how they would
Smugglers proposed to us how they would do and at the border our partners will
do and at the border our partners will take you through the
take you through the mountains it's risky and very expensive
mountains it's risky and very expensive we spoke in yish so the polls don't
we spoke in yish so the polls don't understand so what do you think I know
understand so what do you think I know Mrs Kafka but I'm not sure about these
Mrs Kafka but I'm not sure about these two listen I'll go first if everything
two listen I'll go first if everything is okay I'll write back to you the
is okay I'll write back to you the others want to think about it a little
others want to think about it a little longer but I'm ready to go now fine fine
longer but I'm ready to go now fine fine I agree with mbom to meet again here if
I agree with mbom to meet again here if it came a good letter we'll go but if
it came a good letter we'll go but if ever I talked of this plan to Anna no
ever I talked of this plan to Anna no vladic you're crazy it's too
vladic you're crazy it's too dangerous but if we hear from Abraham
dangerous but if we hear from Abraham we're safe here forget about hungry but
we're safe here forget about hungry but what do we do if the gapo comes to
what do we do if the gapo comes to search for illegal Goods who if the
search for illegal Goods who if the neighbor notices us through the kitchen
neighbor notices us through the kitchen window I'm not going whatever her
window I'm not going whatever her husband finds out about us even the boy
husband finds out about us even the boy can let something slip this war could
can let something slip this war could last another four or 5 years what do we
last another four or 5 years what do we do when our money runs out
do when our money runs out please in Hungary we could be free to
please in Hungary we could be free to walk in the streets again like human
walk in the streets again like human beings I've always taken care of you
beings I've always taken care of you trust me I'm so scared don't do it Mr
trust me I'm so scared don't do it Mr spiegelman it's just not safe you don't
spiegelman it's just not safe you don't know anything about these
know anything about these Smugglers it's like talking to a wall we
Smugglers it's like talking to a wall we won't go unless we hear our friend got
won't go unless we hear our friend got through I've had awful nightmares about
through I've had awful nightmares about your trip please stay with me wait now
your trip please stay with me wait now where are you going to visit my cousin
where are you going to visit my cousin and see where he's hiding if we do go to
and see where he's hiding if we do go to Hungary he may be better off here with
Hungary he may be better off here with you milock help me in sedula maybe now
you milock help me in sedula maybe now if he needed I could help him the jander
if he needed I could help him the jander in the house milock own she hid now him
in the house milock own she hid now him and his family but oh boy he was in a
and his family but oh boy he was in a situation worse than I could imagine I
situation worse than I could imagine I went to the janitor by trolley
went to the janitor by trolley hello I'm Milo's cousin fattic yes he
hello I'm Milo's cousin fattic yes he told me you might come I have some
told me you might come I have some company upstairs I can't take you to
company upstairs I can't take you to milock until they leave gentlemen this
milock until they leave gentlemen this is my cousin fattic hi CZ have a drink
is my cousin fattic hi CZ have a drink so we talked and they believed I am her
so we talked and they believed I am her cousin we're almost out of vodka bring
cousin we're almost out of vodka bring some more Minka there isn't
some more Minka there isn't any she's hiding her vodka just like
any she's hiding her vodka just like she's hiding Jews in her yard the
she's hiding Jews in her yard the janitor and I froze our blood from Fear
janitor and I froze our blood from Fear if you don't put another bottle on the
if you don't put another bottle on the table right away we'll tell a gapo about
table right away we'll tell a gapo about the Jews you're
the Jews you're keeping relax fellas here's a few marks
keeping relax fellas here's a few marks Minka run downstairs and get another
Minka run downstairs and get another bottle for our friends out a boy hick in
bottle for our friends out a boy hick in 15 minutes she came with a bottle and
15 minutes she came with a bottle and they were happy you see your cousin
they were happy you see your cousin knows how to entertain guest to your
knows how to entertain guest to your health we drank and we drank only near
health we drank and we drank only near midnight finally they went home I think
midnight finally they went home I think it's safe to go down
it's safe to go down are
are you carrying food for milock I fed them
you carrying food for milock I fed them earlier this is just trash the
earlier this is just trash the conditions how milock was living you
conditions how milock was living you couldn't believe I always bring garbage
couldn't believe I always bring garbage so the neighbors don't get
so the neighbors don't get suspicious milock your cousin is here in
suspicious milock your cousin is here in each Courtyard was a very deep hole to
each Courtyard was a very deep hole to throw in all the garbage inside this
throw in all the garbage inside this garbage hole was here separated a tiny
garbage hole was here separated a tiny space maybe only 5T by 6 ft vadic I'm
space maybe only 5T by 6 ft vadic I'm glad you're still alive my God I looked
glad you're still alive my God I looked down only for a second but in there was
down only for a second but in there was living milock his wife and their
living milock his wife and their three-year-old boy how can you live
three-year-old boy how can you live there you must be freezing we have no
there you must be freezing we have no choice at least our bunker is
choice at least our bunker is underground and the decomposing garbage
underground and the decomposing garbage give some heat but people know you're in
give some heat but people know you're in there I told him the stories with these
there I told him the stories with these pools upstairs what can we do listen
pools upstairs what can we do listen Anna and I may be going to Hungary I
Anna and I may be going to Hungary I explained our hiding place was not
explained our hiding place was not perfect but better than him is I'll come
perfect but better than him is I'll come again when I have more news but it is
again when I have more news but it is very late now I must get back home and I
very late now I must get back home and I was lucky nobody made me any questions
was lucky nobody made me any questions going back to so piny a few days after I
going back to so piny a few days after I came again to the Smugglers and mandle
came again to the Smugglers and mandle bomb was also there look vattic my
bomb was also there look vattic my nephew was safe they brought me a letter
nephew was safe they brought me a letter from him it was in Yiddish and it was
from him it was in Yiddish and it was signed really by Abraham so we agreed
signed really by Abraham so we agreed right away to go ahead but Anna just
right away to go ahead but Anna just didn't want we would go please IC call
didn't want we would go please IC call it off but it's all arranged i' even
it off but it's all arranged i' even given them half their money no no no
given them half their money no no no this is some kind of trick be reasonable
this is some kind of trick be reasonable I saw Abraham's letter with my own eyes
I saw Abraham's letter with my own eyes what what did it say dear ant and Uncle
what what did it say dear ant and Uncle everything is wonderful here I arrive
everything is wonderful here I arrive safely I'm free and happy don't lose a
safely I'm free and happy don't lose a minute join me as soon as you can you're
minute join me as soon as you can you're loving nephew Abraham I I don't know we
loving nephew Abraham I I don't know we leave a day after tomorrow from the cata
leave a day after tomorrow from the cata train station and finally I convinced
train station and finally I convinced her so I went one more time over to
her so I went one more time over to milock in his garbage bunker and
milock in his garbage bunker and directed him how he must go to saipin
directed him how he must go to saipin and hide and you know milac and his wife
and hide and you know milac and his wife and boy they all survived themselves the
and boy they all survived themselves the whole War sitting there with
whole War sitting there with manwa but for Anna and I it was for us
manwa but for Anna and I it was for us waiting another Destiny we came with no
waiting another Destiny we came with no problem by trolley car to our meeting
problem by trolley car to our meeting point with the mandab bombs and the
point with the mandab bombs and the Smugglers everything everything is
Smugglers everything everything is arranged here are your tickets do you
arranged here are your tickets do you have the rest of our payment yes of
have the rest of our payment yes of course
course here where is your partner going he's
here where is your partner going he's phoning ahead to the men who will meet
phoning ahead to the men who will meet you at the border he'll join us on the
you at the border he'll join us on the train don't worry but of course we did
train don't worry but of course we did worry so all of us together started on
worry so all of us together started on our journey we traveled less than an
our journey we traveled less than an hour till we came to bco baa here I used
hour till we came to bco baa here I used to have my factory and here the
to have my factory and here the Smugglers disappeared it was a big
Smugglers disappeared it was a big commotion gapo on every side Juden Ross
commotion gapo on every side Juden Ross and cwis it was only to them The
and cwis it was only to them The Smuggler phoned here they are they
Smuggler phoned here they are they marched us through the city of bco we
marched us through the city of bco we passed by the factory what I once owned
passed by the factory what I once owned we passed the market where always we
we passed the market where always we bought to eat and pass even the street
bought to eat and pass even the street where we used to live and we came till
where we used to live and we came till the prison and there they put us I had a
the prison and there they put us I had a small bag to travel when they registered
small bag to travel when they registered me in they looked over everything what's
me in they looked over everything what's this shoe polish yes I like to keep
this shoe polish yes I like to keep myself neat with a spoon he took out
myself neat with a spoon he took out little by little all the Polish well
little by little all the Polish well well a gold watch you Jews always have
well a gold watch you Jews always have gold wrapped in foil I kept it hidden
gold wrapped in foil I kept it hidden there it was my last treasure it was
there it was my last treasure it was this watch I got from father-in-law when
this watch I got from father-in-law when I first I married to Anna well never
I first I married to Anna well never mind they took it and threw me with
mind they took it and threw me with mandle bomb into a cell wait a minute
mandle bomb into a cell wait a minute whatever happened to Abraham Who ah
whatever happened to Abraham Who ah manab bomb's nephew yes he finished the
manab bomb's nephew yes he finished the same as us to the concentration camp but
same as us to the concentration camp but yes I'll tell you how it was with him
yes I'll tell you how it was with him but now I'm telling here in the prison
but now I'm telling here in the prison here we got very little to eat maybe
here we got very little to eat maybe soup one time a day and we sat with
soup one time a day and we sat with nothing to do why don't they put us to
nothing to do why don't they put us to work like the rest of you it means you
work like the rest of you it means you won't be here very long every week or so
won't be here very long every week or so a truck takes some of the prisoners away
a truck takes some of the prisoners away excuse me do any of you know German my
excuse me do any of you know German my family just sent me a food parcel if I
family just sent me a food parcel if I write back they'll send another but
write back they'll send another but we're only allowed to write in German I
we're only allowed to write in German I knew well to write in German so I wrote
knew well to write in German so I wrote in a short time he got again a package
in a short time he got again a package you did a great job take anything you
you did a great job take anything you want for you and your friend it was eggs
want for you and your friend it was eggs there it was even chocolates I was very
there it was even chocolates I was very lucky to get such goodies a few days
lucky to get such goodies a few days later the trucks came they pushed in
later the trucks came they pushed in maybe hundred of us one more time I was
maybe hundred of us one more time I was together with Anna here darling I have a
together with Anna here darling I have a present for you eggs cake what
present for you eggs cake what how I had still things I got by writing
how I had still things I got by writing this letter no you keep it I'm not
this letter no you keep it I'm not hungry here at least take half for later
hungry here at least take half for later we came to town of osum Before the War I
we came to town of osum Before the War I sold textiles here and we came here to
sold textiles here and we came here to the concentration camp ashz and we knew
the concentration camp ashz and we knew that from here we will not come out
that from here we will not come out anymore we knew the stories that they
anymore we knew the stories that they will gas us and throw us in the ovens
will gas us and throw us in the ovens this was
this was 1944 we knew everything and here we were
1944 we knew everything and here we were my God yes so it was and when they
my God yes so it was and when they opened the truck they pushed men one way
opened the truck they pushed men one way women the other way Anna and I went in
women the other way Anna and I went in each different direction and we couldn't
each different direction and we couldn't know if ever we'll see each other again
know if ever we'll see each other again this is where mom's Diaries will be
this is where mom's Diaries will be especially useful they'll give me some
especially useful they'll give me some idea of what she went through while you
idea of what she went through while you were apart I can tell you she went
were apart I can tell you she went through the same what me terrible it's
through the same what me terrible it's getting cold why don't we go upstairs
getting cold why don't we go upstairs and see if we can find her notebooks no
and see if we can find her notebooks no I looked already it's just not to find
I looked already it's just not to find anymore well let's check the garage you
anymore well let's check the garage you got loads of stuff in there no you will
got loads of stuff in there no you will not find it because I remind to myself
not find it because I remind to myself what happened these notebooks and other
what happened these notebooks and other really nice things of mother one time I
really nice things of mother one time I had a very bad day and all the things I
had a very bad day and all the things I destroyed you what after Anna died I had
destroyed you what after Anna died I had to make an order with everything these
to make an order with everything these papers had too many memories so I burned
papers had too many memories so I burned them you burned them Christ you saved
them you burned them Christ you saved tons of worthless [ __ ] and you yes it's
tons of worthless [ __ ] and you yes it's a shame for years they were laying there
a shame for years they were laying there and nobody even looked in did you ever
and nobody even looked in did you ever read any of them can you remember what
read any of them can you remember what she wrote no I looked in but I don't
she wrote no I looked in but I don't remember only I know what she said I
remember only I know what she said I wish my son when he grows up he'll be
wish my son when he grows up he'll be interested by this godamn you you you
interested by this godamn you you you murderer how the hell could you do such
murderer how the hell could you do such a thing a to your father you yell in
a thing a to your father you yell in this way even to your friends you should
this way even to your friends you should never yell this
never yell this way but I'm telling you after the
way but I'm telling you after the tragedy with mother I was so depressed
tragedy with mother I was so depressed then I didn't know if I'm coming or I'm
then I didn't know if I'm coming or I'm going I'm sorry look pop it's getting
going I'm sorry look pop it's getting late I'd better get home come first
late I'd better get home come first upstairs for a little coffee no really
upstairs for a little coffee no really I'd better get going right away so
I'd better get going right away so telephone to me you should visit here
telephone to me you should visit here more often don't be such a stranger sure
more often don't be such a stranger sure you bet so long
murderer Mouse a survivor's tail part two chapter 1 summer vacation frw and I
two chapter 1 summer vacation frw and I were staying with friends in vant what
were staying with friends in vant what are you doing trying to figure out how
are you doing trying to figure out how to draw
to draw you want me to pose I mean in my book
you want me to pose I mean in my book what kind of animal should I make you
what kind of animal should I make you huh a mouse of course but you're
huh a mouse of course but you're French well how about a bunny
French well how about a bunny rabbit nah too sweet and
rabbit nah too sweet and gentle I mean the French in general
gentle I mean the French in general let's not forget the centuries of
let's not forget the centuries of anti-is I mean how about the drus affair
anti-is I mean how about the drus affair the Nazi Collaborators the okay but if
the Nazi Collaborators the okay but if you're a mouse I ought to be a mouse too
you're a mouse I ought to be a mouse too I converted didn't I I've got it panel
I converted didn't I I've got it panel one my father is on his exercycle I tell
one my father is on his exercycle I tell him I just married a frog panel two he
him I just married a frog panel two he falls off his cycle in shock so you and
falls off his cycle in shock so you and I go to the mouse Rabbi he says a few
I go to the mouse Rabbi he says a few magic words and zap by the end of the
magic words and zap by the end of the page the frog has turned into a
page the frog has turned into a beautiful Mouse H I only converted to
beautiful Mouse H I only converted to make vadic happy yeah but nothing can
make vadic happy yeah but nothing can make him
make him happy you know you should have married
happy you know you should have married what's her name the girl you were seeing
what's her name the girl you were seeing when we first met
when we first met Sandra yes then you could just draw mice
Sandra yes then you could just draw mice no problem come on I just dated her to
no problem come on I just dated her to get over my prejudice against middle
get over my prejudice against middle class New York Jewish woman they remind
class New York Jewish woman they remind me too much of my relatives to be erotic
me too much of my relatives to be erotic so I just art
so I just art Francois hurry your father just phoned
Francois hurry your father just phoned us he had a heart attack what oh no he
us he had a heart attack what oh no he left his number to call we just saw him
left his number to call we just saw him last week on the way up here we stopped
last week on the way up here we stopped at the Bungalow in the Catskills he
at the Bungalow in the Catskills he looked fine hi pop how are
looked fine hi pop how are you how come you're not in the hospital
you how come you're not in the hospital huh
huh but you didn't you're not but why did
but you didn't you're not but why did you she did but when what I can't hear
you she did but when what I can't hear you speak up no don't cry pop geez I
you speak up no don't cry pop geez I guess so
guess so tonight I don't
tonight I don't know um okay okay we'll talk about it
know um okay okay we'll talk about it then just relax okay will you be all
then just relax okay will you be all right yes I uh love you too see you soon
goodbye what is it what happened is your father okay he didn't even have a heart
father okay he didn't even have a heart attack he just wanted to be sure I'd
attack he just wanted to be sure I'd call him back
call him back you're kidding how could you do such a
you're kidding how could you do such a thing Mala left him he took money out of
thing Mala left him he took money out of their account and drove off he wants us
their account and drove off he wants us to stay with him at his Bungalow for a
to stay with him at his Bungalow for a while I I guess we have to go I guess
while I I guess we have to go I guess so what a pity you just got here we'll
so what a pity you just got here we'll be
be back we're not taking much luggage so we
back we're not taking much luggage so we have an excuse not to stay
have an excuse not to stay long vtic sounded half hysterical on the
long vtic sounded half hysterical on the phone poor guy I feel so sorry for
phone poor guy I feel so sorry for him yeah me too till I had to spend any
him yeah me too till I had to spend any time with him then he drives me
crazy depressed again just thinking about my book it's so presumptuous of
about my book it's so presumptuous of me I mean I can't make any sense out of
me I mean I can't make any sense out of my relationship with my father how am I
my relationship with my father how am I supposed to make any sense out of ashz
supposed to make any sense out of ashz of the Holocaust
of the Holocaust when I was a kid I used to think about
when I was a kid I used to think about which of my parents I'd let the Nazis
which of my parents I'd let the Nazis take to the ovens if I can only save one
take to the ovens if I can only save one of them usually I saved my mother do you
of them usually I saved my mother do you think that's
think that's normal nobody's normal I wonder if rev
normal nobody's normal I wonder if rev and I would get along if he was still
and I would get along if he was still alive your brother my ghost Brother
alive your brother my ghost Brother since he was killed before I was born he
since he was killed before I was born he was only five or six after the war my
was only five or six after the war my parents traced down the Vagas rumors and
parents traced down the Vagas rumors and went to orphanage all over Europe they
went to orphanage all over Europe they couldn't believe he was dead I didn't
couldn't believe he was dead I didn't think about him much when I was growing
think about him much when I was growing up he was mainly a large blurry
up he was mainly a large blurry photograph hanging in my parents'
photograph hanging in my parents' bedroom uh-huh I thought that was a
bedroom uh-huh I thought that was a picture of you though it didn't look
picture of you though it didn't look like you that's the point they didn't
like you that's the point they didn't need photos of me in their room I was
need photos of me in their room I was alive the photo never threw chrs or got
alive the photo never threw chrs or got into any kind of trouble it was an ideal
into any kind of trouble it was an ideal kid and I was a pain in the ass I
kid and I was a pain in the ass I couldn't
couldn't compete they didn't talk about rev but
compete they didn't talk about rev but that photo was kind of a
that photo was kind of a reproach he would have become a doctor
reproach he would have become a doctor and married a wealthy Jewish girl look
and married a wealthy Jewish girl look creep but at least we could have made
creep but at least we could have made him deal with
him deal with banic it's spooky having a sibling
banic it's spooky having a sibling rivaly with a
rivaly with a snapshot I never felt guilty about rev
snapshot I never felt guilty about rev but I did have nightmares about SS men
but I did have nightmares about SS men coming into my class and dragging all of
coming into my class and dragging all of us Jewish kids
us Jewish kids away don't get get me wrong I wasn't
away don't get get me wrong I wasn't obsessed with this stuff it's just that
obsessed with this stuff it's just that sometimes I'd fantasize cyclon be coming
sometimes I'd fantasize cyclon be coming out of our shower instead of
out of our shower instead of water I know this is insane but I
water I know this is insane but I somehow wish I had been in ntz with my
somehow wish I had been in ntz with my parents so I could really know what they
parents so I could really know what they live through I guess it's some kind of
live through I guess it's some kind of guilt about having an easier life than
guilt about having an easier life than they
they did I feel so inadequate of trying to
did I feel so inadequate of trying to reconstruct a reality that was worse
reconstruct a reality that was worse than my darkest dreams and trying to do
than my darkest dreams and trying to do it as a comic strand I guess I B off
it as a comic strand I guess I B off more than I can chew maybe I have to
more than I can chew maybe I have to forget the whole thing there's so much
forget the whole thing there's so much I'll never be able to understand or
I'll never be able to understand or visualize I mean reality is too complex
visualize I mean reality is too complex for Comics so much has to be left out or
for Comics so much has to be left out or distorted just keep it honest honey see
distorted just keep it honest honey see what I mean in real life you'd never
what I mean in real life you'd never have let me talk this long without
have let me talk this long without interrupting huh light me a
interrupting huh light me a cigarette and so the cat
cigarette and so the cat skills he said he Le the key above the
skills he said he Le the key above the ah there it is
Arty so darling you came finally I waited and I waited and I couldn't sleep
waited and I waited and I couldn't sleep emergency oxygen
emergency oxygen un you see how it is now Arty she took
un you see how it is now Arty she took my money and she ran away oi how could
my money and she ran away oi how could she do it to leave such a sick man like
she do it to leave such a sick man like me
me alone but now at least I'm happy I have
alone but now at least I'm happy I have here you kids to stay together with with
here you kids to stay together with with me look how nice I made for you a bed
me look how nice I made for you a bed for the whole summer you can be
for the whole summer you can be comfortable here hey we're just staying
comfortable here hey we're just staying a few days pop we well in the morning we
a few days pop we well in the morning we can speak more but now you can make
can speak more but now you can make yourself at home so as like it's your
yourself at home so as like it's your own good night
own good night pop my God does he expect us to stay
pop my God does he expect us to stay here all summer I guess so if we had his
here all summer I guess so if we had his way we'd move to Queens with him too he
way we'd move to Queens with him too he please I'm so tired from waiting till
please I'm so tired from waiting till you came tomorrow you can
you came tomorrow you can talk such a sunny day and still you're
talk such a sunny day and still you're both sleeping what what time is it it's
both sleeping what what time is it it's almost 8 and already I've made it half
almost 8 and already I've made it half an hour on the porch of my gymnastics
an hour on the porch of my gymnastics since I was a boy I've made every day my
exercises at first the neighbors tried to make exercise with me but they
to make exercise with me but they couldn't keep up so now only they watch
couldn't keep up so now only they watch is there any coffee M I had some instant
is there any coffee M I had some instant coffee tomorrow we'll exercise together
coffee tomorrow we'll exercise together what my only exercise is walking out for
what my only exercise is walking out for cigarettes instant coffee will have to
cigarettes instant coffee will have to do you have to hurry now to get ready
do you have to hurry now to get ready today I need you will help me to prepare
today I need you will help me to prepare my bank and tax papers Mala left them in
my bank and tax papers Mala left them in a mess you can't imagine yeah here I
a mess you can't imagine yeah here I have it it's the caffeine-free kind of
coffee um have you seen my pants all of your things I already put in order in
your things I already put in order in the bureau there well thanks for not
the bureau there well thanks for not throwing them out wake up honey I've got
throwing them out wake up honey I've got some bad news the only coffee here is
some bad news the only coffee here is Sanka I brought our coffee and our pot
Sanka I brought our coffee and our pot look at my
look at my bag now what I'm making for you
bag now what I'm making for you breakfast and I see here the salt just
breakfast and I see here the salt just look what mala did the salt here it's
look what mala did the salt here it's half full and she open anyway a new
half full and she open anyway a new one I can't eat on my new diet any
one I can't eat on my new diet any sodium I don't need even one container
sodium I don't need even one container salt and here it's two open
salt and here it's two open salts so what happened why did Mala
salts so what happened why did Mala leave she wants that all my money what I
leave she wants that all my money what I work so hard all my life it will only be
work so hard all my life it will only be for her I had a doctor's appointment in
for her I had a doctor's appointment in Rigo Park and we went after to the bank
Rigo Park and we went after to the bank to renew some bonds one I wanted in
to renew some bonds one I wanted in trust a Mala one for my brother in
trust a Mala one for my brother in Israel and one I wanted for you but she
Israel and one I wanted for you but she didn't like I'll put for you and panck
didn't like I'll put for you and panck anything she screamed like a crazy
anything she screamed like a crazy person she drove away and left me by the
person she drove away and left me by the bank and when I walked home she was gone
bank and when I walked home she was gone already the lawyer say I must make
already the lawyer say I must make drastic steps she stole away the jewelry
drastic steps she stole away the jewelry the car and the cash out from our joint
the car and the cash out from our joint account I can make charges oh come
account I can make charges oh come on where's M now to Florida she drove we
on where's M now to Florida she drove we are buying there a condo she wants to
are buying there a condo she wants to sell and grab out the deposit
sell and grab out the deposit money but this she can't do she needs my
money but this she can't do she needs my Sig Arty what do you do huh I'm just
Sig Arty what do you do huh I'm just lighting my cigarette better you
lighting my cigarette better you shouldn't smoke for you it's terrible
shouldn't smoke for you it's terrible and for me with my shortness of breath
and for me with my shortness of breath it's also no good to be near but if
it's also no good to be near but if anyway you're smoking please don't use
anyway you're smoking please don't use for me my wooden matches I don't have
for me my wooden matches I don't have left so many
left so many and already you make coffee you used one
and already you make coffee you used one only to light the oven I Ed them these
only to light the oven I Ed them these wooden matches I have to buy the paper
wooden matches I have to buy the paper matches I can have free from the lobby
matches I can have free from the lobby of the Pines Hotel jeez I'll buy you a
of the Pines Hotel jeez I'll buy you a whole box of wooden matches it isn't
whole box of wooden matches it isn't necessary at home our oven is automatic
necessary at home our oven is automatic and here I'm staying only 15 more days
and here I'm staying only 15 more days and I have still 50 matches left how
and I have still 50 matches left how many matches can I use what a miser I
many matches can I use what a miser I can't take any more I'm going out for
can't take any more I'm going out for air always Arty is nervous so like his
air always Arty is nervous so like his mother she was always
nervous you must be Arty I'm Mrs karp we're neighbors yes my dad mentioned
we're neighbors yes my dad mentioned that You' looked after him while Mal's
that You' looked after him while Mal's gone he said that well Edgar did give
gone he said that well Edgar did give him a ride back here a few days ago MAA
him a ride back here a few days ago MAA has their car now but come visit a
has their car now but come visit a minute huh I can't I
minute huh I can't I uh look Eddie look what I found lanx boy
uh look Eddie look what I found lanx boy Arty so you came to take your father to
Arty so you came to take your father to live by you what no we're just helping
live by you what no we're just helping him get his bearings for a few days
him get his bearings for a few days he'll stay up here till Labor Day what
he'll stay up here till Labor Day what alone how can he manage he can get by
alone how can he manage he can get by but it'd be nice if you gave him rides
but it'd be nice if you gave him rides to town look in on him sometimes maybe
to town look in on him sometimes maybe sometimes but he's a sick old manad he
sometimes but he's a sick old manad he can't be all alone and after the summer
can't be all alone and after the summer then he'll go live by you or what no I
then he'll go live by you or what no I don't know what he'll do maybe he'll
don't know what he'll do maybe he'll need a nurse or something a nurse it
need a nurse or something a nurse it costs money you think your father spends
costs money you think your father spends money so easy poor Mala one time I went
money so easy poor Mala one time I went to the supermarket with her and she had
to the supermarket with her and she had to erase a hairbrush from the bill
to erase a hairbrush from the bill because he wouldn't pay for her personal
because he wouldn't pay for her personal items How could a couple live like that
items How could a couple live like that art hello where are you honey my wife is
art hello where are you honey my wife is calling me your wife she's Jewish hush
calling me your wife she's Jewish hush Edgar invite her in for lemonade maybe
Edgar invite her in for lemonade maybe some other time I'd better go
some other time I'd better go now so there you are where were you a
now so there you are where were you a couple of blad's friends the carps just
couple of blad's friends the carps just hijacked me you know even they can't
hijacked me you know even they can't stand him it's so claustrophobic being
stand him it's so claustrophobic being around btic he straightens Everything
around btic he straightens Everything You Touch he's so anxious he never learn
You Touch he's so anxious he never learn how to relax maybe ashz made him like
how to relax maybe ashz made him like that maybe but lots of people up here
that maybe but lots of people up here are survivors like those carps if
are survivors like those carps if they're whacked up it's in a different
they're whacked up it's in a different way from blad oh about blad's matches
way from blad oh about blad's matches it's even crazier than you thought since
it's even crazier than you thought since gas is included in the rent he leaves
gas is included in the rent he leaves the burner lit all day to save on
the burner lit all day to save on matches God if it wasn't so pathetic
matches God if it wasn't so pathetic it'd be kind of funny so you've been
it'd be kind of funny so you've been enjoying yourself kid
enjoying yourself kid come we'll sit together and you can help
come we'll sit together and you can help me prepare my bank
me prepare my bank papers a few tents hours
papers a few tents hours later a Arty again you made the wrong
later a Arty again you made the wrong addition but look we've checked it twice
addition but look we've checked it twice it's
it's correct it doesn't come out so as on the
correct it doesn't come out so as on the statement we'll have now everything to
statement we'll have now everything to do again what that will take 2 or 3
do again what that will take 2 or 3 hours it's off by less than a buck let's
hours it's off by less than a buck let's just forget
just forget it always you're so lazy every job we
it always you're so lazy every job we should do make so as to do it the right
should do make so as to do it the right way lazy damn it you're driving me nuts
way lazy damn it you're driving me nuts wait why don't you take a break I'll
wait why don't you take a break I'll find the mistake yes Prince wall and I
find the mistake yes Prince wall and I can do it um I can handle it alone why
can do it um I can handle it alone why don't you both go out for a
don't you both go out for a walk thanks a lot well don't mix
walk thanks a lot well don't mix together for me any of the papers I will
together for me any of the papers I will re with you when I come back but for my
re with you when I come back but for my legs I could use now that we walk a
legs I could use now that we walk a little okay I'll get my tape recorder so
little okay I'll get my tape recorder so today is in a total loss what are your
today is in a total loss what are your plans now pop we'll walk over to the
plans now pop we'll walk over to the Pines hotel and then back I mean in
Pines hotel and then back I mean in general now that Mala is gone maybe
general now that Mala is gone maybe we'll together stay to the end of the
we'll together stay to the end of the summer here it's so
summer here it's so beautiful I told you prin ju and I can
beautiful I told you prin ju and I can only stay through the weekend so then
only stay through the weekend so then you go back I also will go what have I
you go back I also will go what have I here to stay all
here to stay all alone and then no maybe you want with me
alone and then no maybe you want with me in Queens to stay to have you with me
in Queens to stay to have you with me it's always a pleasure remember my house
it's always a pleasure remember my house it's also your house
it's also your house too I'm sorry Pop I don't think it would
too I'm sorry Pop I don't think it would work out I mean we've got our own place
work out I mean we've got our own place to live and yes you don't have to answer
to live and yes you don't have to answer now only to think of
now only to think of it um can I ask you more about your past
it um can I ask you more about your past about ashz of course darling to me you
about ashz of course darling to me you can ask
can ask anything well what happened when you and
anything well what happened when you and Mom arrived there and were separated
Mom arrived there and were separated when we came they pushed in one way the
when we came they pushed in one way the men and somewhere else the woman
men and somewhere else the woman out I weighed very fast goodbye to
out I weighed very fast goodbye to Anna but you understand never Anna and I
Anna but you understand never Anna and I were separated no no the war put us a
were separated no no the war put us a part but always before and after we were
part but always before and after we were together not so like M who grabs out my
together not so like M who grabs out my money ashwoods PA tell me about ashz
money ashwoods PA tell me about ashz ashz was in a town called usum before
ashz was in a town called usum before the War I came often here to sell my
the War I came often here to sell my textiles and now I came again we came to
textiles and now I came again we came to a big Hall and they shouted on us get
a big Hall and they shouted on us get undressed leave all your valuables
undressed leave all your valuables lineup
lineup sh I was at that time still with my
sh I was at that time still with my friend mandoob balb
friend mandoob balb they took from us our papers our clothes
they took from us our papers our clothes and our
and our hair what what's going to happen to us
hair what what's going to happen to us don't
don't worry we were cold and we were afraid if
worry we were cold and we were afraid if they brought you here they'll put you to
they brought you here they'll put you to work they're not ready to kill you
work they're not ready to kill you yet what about our wives and our shut up
yet what about our wives and our shut up yids to the bath house quick everywhere
yids to the bath house quick everywhere we had to run so like joggers and they
we had to run so like joggers and they ran to the
ran to the sauna it's freezing just thank God it's
sauna it's freezing just thank God it's not gas here it was the live showers not
not gas here it was the live showers not the dead gas showers what we heard
the dead gas showers what we heard sometimes
sometimes Rumors in the snow they threw to us
Rumors in the snow they threw to us prisoners clothing Chanel Chanel
prisoners clothing Chanel Chanel Chanel they never even looked on what
Chanel they never even looked on what size they threw one guy tried to
size they threw one guy tried to exchange excuse me these shoes are too
exchange excuse me these shoes are too small maybe now little fit the shoes
small maybe now little fit the shoes were wood shoes I was a lucky
were wood shoes I was a lucky one everything fitted me a little only
one everything fitted me a little only the shirt was torn and too big for me
the shirt was torn and too big for me they registered Us in they took from us
they registered Us in they took from us our names and here they put me my
our names and here they put me my number all around was a smell so
number all around was a smell so terrible I can't explain Swedish so like
terrible I can't explain Swedish so like rubber burning and fat uncle
rubber burning and fat uncle uncle when we came inside the gates
uncle when we came inside the gates someone ran to us from far away here was
someone ran to us from far away here was Abraham mandab bomb's nephew so Uncle
Abraham mandab bomb's nephew so Uncle you've ended up here too you told us to
you've ended up here too you told us to come you wrote to us how happy you were
come you wrote to us how happy you were and hungry that we should join you right
and hungry that we should join you right away well here we
away well here we are hungry H the pools who arranged our
are hungry H the pools who arranged our Escape understood Yiddish so they knew
Escape understood Yiddish so they knew you were waiting to hear if I was safe
you were waiting to hear if I was safe in Bosco the pools dictated that letter
in Bosco the pools dictated that letter while the gapo held a pistol up to my
while the gapo held a pistol up to my head what could I do they could have
head what could I do they could have shot me then and
shot me then and there well so here's our hungry and
there well so here's our hungry and there's only one way out of here for all
there's only one way out of here for all of us through those
of us through those chimneys Abraham I didn't see again I
chimneys Abraham I didn't see again I think he came out of the chimney but I
think he came out of the chimney but I saw again once the pools who betrayed us
saw again once the pools who betrayed us the Germans didn't need them so they
the Germans didn't need them so they finished also at
finished also at ood's we newcomers were put inside a
ood's we newcomers were put inside a room Oldtimer passed and said all the
room Oldtimer passed and said all the time you see those
time you see those chimneys okay so it was more sad I was
chimneys okay so it was more sad I was Warn and shivering and crying a little
Warn and shivering and crying a little nobody even
nobody even looked but from another room someone
looked but from another room someone approached
approached over why are you crying my son should I
over why are you crying my son should I be happy am I at a carnival let me see
be happy am I at a carnival let me see your arm he was a
your arm he was a priest H your numbers start was 17 in
priest H your numbers start was 17 in Hebrew that's communion Tu 17's a very
Hebrew that's communion Tu 17's a very good
good omen he wasn't Jewish but very
omen he wasn't Jewish but very intelligent it ends with 13 the age a
intelligent it ends with 13 the age a Jewish boy becomes a man and look at it
Jewish boy becomes a man and look at it together it totals 18 that's chai the
together it totals 18 that's chai the Hebrew number of life I can't know if
Hebrew number of life I can't know if I'll survive this hell but I'm certain
I'll survive this hell but I'm certain you'll come through all this
you'll come through all this alive I started to believe I tell you he
alive I started to believe I tell you he put another life in me and whenever it
put another life in me and whenever it was very bad I looked and said yes the
was very bad I looked and said yes the priest was right it totals
priest was right it totals 18 o that guy was a saint yes I never
18 o that guy was a saint yes I never saw him
saw him again for me it was hard here but for my
again for me it was hard here but for my friend mandal bomb it was more hard in
friend mandal bomb it was more hard in covic everyone knew mandal bomb he was
covic everyone knew mandal bomb he was older as me nice a very rich man but now
older as me nice a very rich man but now in ashaa mandal bombb was a mess his
in ashaa mandal bombb was a mess his pants were big like for two people and
pants were big like for two people and he had not even a piece of string to
he had not even a piece of string to make a belt he had all day to hold them
make a belt he had all day to hold them with one hand one shoe was big as a boat
with one hand one shoe was big as a boat but this at least he could wear one shoe
but this at least he could wear one shoe his foot was too big to go in this also
his foot was too big to go in this also he had to hold so he could find maybe
he had to hold so he could find maybe with whom to exchange
with whom to exchange it it was Winter and everywhere he had
it it was Winter and everywhere he had to go around with one foot on into the
to go around with one foot on into the snow can I use your spoon platic of
snow can I use your spoon platic of course but where's yours I dropped it
course but where's yours I dropped it and by the time I bent down someone
and by the time I bent down someone stole it for a spoon you can get a half
stole it for a spoon you can get a half day's bread I spilled most of my soup
day's bread I spilled most of my soup too when I ask for more they beat me I
too when I ask for more they beat me I hold on to my bow and my shoes fall down
hold on to my bow and my shoes fall down I pick up the shoe and my pants fall
I pick up the shoe and my pants fall down but what can I do I only have two
down but what can I do I only have two hands my God please God help me find a
hands my God please God help me find a piece of string and a shoe that fits but
piece of string and a shoe that fits but here God didn't come we were all on our
here God didn't come we were all on our own so mle Bal and I were two in a bed
own so mle Bal and I were two in a bed we didn't know why since it was spaces
we didn't know why since it was spaces left but a day after they pushed in a
left but a day after they pushed in a shipment of maybe 400 Jews there it was
shipment of maybe 400 Jews there it was room hardly to move only to go down to
room hardly to move only to go down to the toilet was 15 minutes walking on The
the toilet was 15 minutes walking on The Unlucky One sleeping on the floor and
Unlucky One sleeping on the floor and coming back I couldn't find again where
coming back I couldn't find again where is my bed in the Barrack with a capo a
is my bed in the Barrack with a capo a supervisor he was screaming and kicking
supervisor he was screaming and kicking whatever he could line up rows of five
whatever he could line up rows of five you shits stand straight he was also a
you shits stand straight he was also a prisoner a peasant from the German part
prisoner a peasant from the German part of
of Poland now lie in your bellies quick
Poland now lie in your bellies quick stand up lie down stand up faster lie
stand up lie down stand up faster lie down he did such Sport All Day Kicking
down he did such Sport All Day Kicking hitting yelling till some dropped dead
hitting yelling till some dropped dead then more one time this block supervisor
then more one time this block supervisor started screaming on us who knows
started screaming on us who knows English raise your hand you should raise
English raise your hand you should raise your hand vladic no I don't want to get
your hand vladic no I don't want to get too close to a stick besides look at all
too close to a stick besides look at all the hands up already many French Jews
the hands up already many French Jews here knew to speak
here knew to speak English he took them apart but sent them
English he took them apart but sent them soon
soon back who knows English and
back who knows English and polish now it was very few hands so I
polish now it was very few hands so I approached it was eight or nine of us
approached it was eight or nine of us each had to speak a few words be the pen
each had to speak a few words be the pen der pen is EST D table next when I heard
der pen is EST D table next when I heard the other speak I saw I had a chance I
the other speak I saw I had a chance I spoke only English to him for Polish I
spoke only English to him for Polish I had a good English yes I gave private
had a good English yes I gave private lessons of English when I lived then in
lessons of English when I lived then in chova he wanted to learn here English
chova he wanted to learn here English you managed to get the berlet's books
you managed to get the berlet's books here you studied already the conjugate
here you studied already the conjugate verbs and he kept me aside the
verbs and he kept me aside the rest listen there are too many prisoners
rest listen there are too many prisoners here the SS will line you all up
here the SS will line you all up tomorrow be sure to stand on the far
tomorrow be sure to stand on the far left in the morning the SS chose who to
left in the morning the SS chose who to take for the day to work weak ones they
take for the day to work weak ones they put on the side to take away forever
put on the side to take away forever before they came to me they took enough
before they came to me they took enough I kept close to me mandle balb and we
I kept close to me mandle balb and we went back safe inside the copper pushed
went back safe inside the copper pushed those remaining to clean up in the
those remaining to clean up in the block wait spiegelman you come with me
block wait spiegelman you come with me everyone they called by number but me
everyone they called by number but me they called by name sit here I'll be
they called by name sit here I'll be back soon here I saw rules I saw eggs
back soon here I saw rules I saw eggs meat coffee all the table full you know
meat coffee all the table full you know what it was to see such things it must
what it was to see such things it must be it's his breakfast see how happy he
be it's his breakfast see how happy he was at here
was at here I was afraid to look I was so hungry I
I was afraid to look I was so hungry I can grab all of it what are you waiting
can grab all of it what are you waiting for sit down and
for sit down and eat this food it was for me I ate ate
eat this food it was for me I ate ate ate as he watched then I taught him a
ate as he watched then I taught him a couple hours and we spoke a little but
couple hours and we spoke a little but why are you studying English I speak
why are you studying English I speak German as well as polish that's why I'm
German as well as polish that's why I'm a cappo otherwise I'd be a nothing like
a cappo otherwise I'd be a nothing like you now now the Allies are bombing the
you now now the Allies are bombing the Reich if they win this war it will be
Reich if they win this war it will be worth something to know English well
worth something to know English well that's enough for today come with me
that's enough for today come with me take off your clothes choose things that
take off your clothes choose things that fit so I took myself clothes like
fit so I took myself clothes like tailored I got also a pair of real shoes
tailored I got also a pair of real shoes not wood but leather always I was
not wood but leather always I was handsome but with everything fitted I
handsome but with everything fitted I look like a million so are you all set
look like a million so are you all set yes sir
yes sir but I have one more favor to ask could I
but I have one more favor to ask could I also take this extra pair of shoes a
also take this extra pair of shoes a belt and a spoon for what you do you've
belt and a spoon for what you do you've only been here a few days and you're
only been here a few days and you're ready to do business I have to account
ready to do business I have to account for every pair of shoes in here I I
for every pair of shoes in here I I don't want to make trouble you've been
don't want to make trouble you've been so kind to me it was for my friend I
so kind to me it was for my friend I explained to him everything about
explained to him everything about mandom well I could lose the belt and
mandom well I could lose the belt and Spoon but bring me your friend's old
Spoon but bring me your friend's old shoes tomorrow or
shoes tomorrow or else I'm telling you I was amazing well
else I'm telling you I was amazing well off I ran to find mandab Bal fattic you
off I ran to find mandab Bal fattic you look like a a
look like a a general not quite but I've been lucky
general not quite but I've been lucky and I didn't forget you look I got you
and I didn't forget you look I got you your own spoon a spoon thank you vad
your own spoon a spoon thank you vad thank you and here's a belt not just a
thank you and here's a belt not just a string a real belt oh my God and and one
string a real belt oh my God and and one more thing a pair of wooden shoes that
more thing a pair of wooden shoes that will fit
will fit you my God my God my God it's a miracle
you my God my God my God it's a miracle vattic God sent shoes through you he was
vattic God sent shoes through you he was so happy he was crying and I started
so happy he was crying and I started also crying with him he was so happy
also crying with him he was so happy with this and aapu knew mandle bomb was
with this and aapu knew mandle bomb was my friend so he left him also alone how
my friend so he left him also alone how long I could I kept him but a few days
long I could I kept him but a few days later the Germans chose him to take way
later the Germans chose him to take way to work nobody could help this so it was
to work nobody could help this so it was finished with mandab bomb and never saw
finished with mandab bomb and never saw him more again so you don't know what
him more again so you don't know what happened to mandab bomb he got killed or
happened to mandab bomb he got killed or he died I know they finished him maybe
he died I know they finished him maybe on the walk to work a guard grabbed his
on the walk to work a guard grabbed his cap away go get your cap quick so what
cap away go get your cap quick so what could he do he ran to pick it up and the
could he do he ran to pick it up and the guard shot on him for trying to escape
guard shot on him for trying to escape the guard got a congratul ations and a
the guard got a congratul ations and a few days vacation for stopping the
few days vacation for stopping the Escape I don't know if this was how it
Escape I don't know if this was how it was with
was with mandal only that very often they did so
mandal only that very often they did so they wanted only to finish everyone out
they wanted only to finish everyone out it was very hard work and very little
it was very hard work and very little food maybe they kicked and hit him in
food maybe they kicked and hit him in his head because he couldn't work fast
his head because he couldn't work fast enough or maybe he got sick so they put
enough or maybe he got sick so they put him first in the hospital and then in
him first in the hospital and then in the oven you see how they did and I had
the oven you see how they did and I had it still happy be there for me it was
it still happy be there for me it was not yet the end newcomers were afraid
not yet the end newcomers were afraid for me I looked like a big shot and the
for me I looked like a big shot and the Capo kept me
Capo kept me close they'll want 200 workers tomorrow
close they'll want 200 workers tomorrow I've only got 180 still registered here
I've only got 180 still registered here you better hide in my room for over two
you better hide in my room for over two months I stayed here safe and taught him
months I stayed here safe and taught him English of the group when I arrived only
English of the group when I arrived only I remained vladic what was your
I remained vladic what was your profession before you were brought here
profession before you were brought here I worked in a lot of different
I worked in a lot of different businesses why I've kept you here in the
businesses why I've kept you here in the quarantine block as long as I can you'll
quarantine block as long as I can you'll have to be assigned out to a work crew
have to be assigned out to a work crew skilled workers get better
skilled workers get better treatment I can do anything once I'm
treatment I can do anything once I'm shown in the ghetto I worked in the
shown in the ghetto I worked in the Woodshop in sovic I was a tinsman a
Woodshop in sovic I was a tinsman a tinsman I'll see what I can do always
tinsman I'll see what I can do always around asht they were building to the
around asht they were building to the roofs they needed good
roofs they needed good tinmen I was not really a t but I knew a
tinmen I was not really a t but I knew a little in sovic I was in the tin shop
little in sovic I was in the tin shop registered to get a safe work
registered to get a safe work passport and I watched how they worked
passport and I watched how they worked uhhuh you told me what I wanted to ask
uhhuh you told me what I wanted to ask you about though is what happened to Mom
you about though is what happened to Mom while you stop we must turn quick and go
while you stop we must turn quick and go by this road to come to the Pines
by this road to come to the Pines huh in this way the hotel guard can't
huh in this way the hotel guard can't see us and we can sit on their
see us and we can sit on their patio it's pretty there to said I come
patio it's pretty there to said I come almost every day in this way sometimes I
almost every day in this way sometimes I get here free dancing lessons or they
get here free dancing lessons or they have for the guests free bingo games and
have for the guests free bingo games and prizes downstairs is a gym with a steam
prizes downstairs is a gym with a steam room in whpo maybe I can take you in
room in whpo maybe I can take you in there tomorrow no thanks aren't you
there tomorrow no thanks aren't you afraid you'll get caught
afraid you'll get caught trespassing from our Bungalows everyone
trespassing from our Bungalows everyone comes here always or to Brickman's Hotel
comes here always or to Brickman's Hotel up the
up the road I like better the Pines only if
road I like better the Pines only if that in the gym here you can't have a
that in the gym here you can't have a locker without giving a room key look
locker without giving a room key look they're giving Now cards for Bingo you
they're giving Now cards for Bingo you want we'll play uhhuh I'll put in a new
want we'll play uhhuh I'll put in a new tape and we can continue I want here a
tape and we can continue I want here a bingo game one time the winner got a
bingo game one time the winner got a prize over to his room only it was I had
prize over to his room only it was I had no room behind me sat a young lady but
no room behind me sat a young lady but got so disappointed that she lost she
got so disappointed that she lost she had just one number away so I gave gave
had just one number away so I gave gave her my card and said I don't care for
her my card and said I don't care for such prizes you go out and be the winner
such prizes you go out and be the winner she was happy did you tell her you
she was happy did you tell her you weren't a guest here why'd you tell this
weren't a guest here why'd you tell this wasn't her business you know in town is
wasn't her business you know in town is a bingo Place 50 cents a card Mala likes
a bingo Place 50 cents a card Mala likes sometimes to go and I said to her for
sometimes to go and I said to her for what for the coffee they give after
what for the coffee they give after Bingo we can play at the pines and
Bingo we can play at the pines and better coffee we have at
better coffee we have at home B5
Bingo Mouse a survivor's Tale part two chapter
chapter 2 time
2 time flies black died of congestive heart
flies black died of congestive heart failure in August 1982 Prince W and I
failure in August 1982 Prince W and I stayed with him in the Catskills back in
stayed with him in the Catskills back in August
August 1979 Le started working as a tinsman in
1979 Le started working as a tinsman in ashz in the spring of 1944 I started
ashz in the spring of 1944 I started working on this page at the very end of
working on this page at the very end of February
February 1987 in May 1987 frenan and I are
1987 in May 1987 frenan and I are expecting a baby between May 16th 1944
expecting a baby between May 16th 1944 May 24th 1944 over 100,000 Hungarian
May 24th 1944 over 100,000 Hungarian Jews are gas
Jews are gas ntz in September 1986 after 8 years of
ntz in September 1986 after 8 years of work the first part of mouse was
work the first part of mouse was published it was a critical and
published it was a critical and Commercial Success uccess at least 15
Commercial Success uccess at least 15 foreign editions are coming out I've
foreign editions are coming out I've gotten four serious offers to turn my
gotten four serious offers to turn my book into a TV special or movie I don't
book into a TV special or movie I don't want to in May 1968 my mother killed
want to in May 1968 my mother killed herself she left no note lately I've
herself she left no note lately I've been feeling
been feeling depressed all right Mr spiegelman we're
depressed all right Mr spiegelman we're ready to shoot tell your viewers what
ready to shoot tell your viewers what message you want to get from your book a
message you want to get from your book a message I don't
message I don't know I I never thought of reducing it to
know I I never thought of reducing it to a message I mean I wasn't trying to
a message I mean I wasn't trying to convince anyone of anything I just
convince anyone of anything I just wanted your book is being translated in
wanted your book is being translated in the German many younger Germans had it
the German many younger Germans had it up to here with the Holocaust stories
up to here with the Holocaust stories these things happened before they were
these things happened before they were even born why should they feel guilty
even born why should they feel guilty who am I to
who am I to say but a lot of corporations that
say but a lot of corporations that flourished in Nazi Germany are richer
flourished in Nazi Germany are richer than ever I don't know maybe everyone
than ever I don't know maybe everyone has to feel guilty everyone
has to feel guilty everyone forever okay let's talk about Israel if
forever okay let's talk about Israel if your book is about Israel Jews what kind
your book is about Israel Jews what kind of animal would you
of animal would you draw I have no idea
draw I have no idea porcupines excuse me Arty baby check out
porcupines excuse me Arty baby check out this licensing deal you get 50% of the
this licensing deal you get 50% of the profits we'll make a million your dad
profits we'll make a million your dad would be proud
would be proud huh Mouse You' read the book now buy the
huh Mouse You' read the book now buy the vest so what do you want a bigger
vest so what do you want a bigger percentage hey we can talk I want
percentage hey we can talk I want Absolution no no I want I want my
Absolution no no I want I want my mommy could you tell your audience if
mommy could you tell your audience if drawing Mouse is cathartic do you feel
drawing Mouse is cathartic do you feel better
now they're gone sometimes I just don't feel like a functioning adult I can't
feel like a functioning adult I can't believe I'm going to be a father in a
believe I'm going to be a father in a couple months my father's ghost still
couple months my father's ghost still hangs over
hangs over me it's 9:30 p.m. I've got a head up up
me it's 9:30 p.m. I've got a head up up town with my appointment with PLL PLL is
town with my appointment with PLL PLL is my shrink he sees patience at night he's
my shrink he sees patience at night he's a check Jew he Survivor the terraine in
a check Jew he Survivor the terraine in ashz I see him once a week his place is
ashz I see him once a week his place is overrun with stray dogs and cats hi Eric
overrun with stray dogs and cats hi Eric come on in can I mention this or does it
come on in can I mention this or does it completely Lous up my
completely Lous up my metaphor so how are you feeling
metaphor so how are you feeling completely messed up I mean things going
completely messed up I mean things going to be going better with my career or at
to be going better with my career or at home but mostly I feel like
home but mostly I feel like crying I can't
crying I can't work my time is being sucked up by
work my time is being sucked up by interviews and business propositions I
interviews and business propositions I can't deal with but even when I'm left
can't deal with but even when I'm left alone I'm totally blocked instead of
alone I'm totally blocked instead of working on my book I just lie on my
working on my book I just lie on my couch for hours and stare at a small
couch for hours and stare at a small grease spot on the upholstery frame
grease spot on the upholstery frame photo of a pet cat really somehow my
photo of a pet cat really somehow my arguments with my father have lost a
arguments with my father have lost a little of their urgency and Ashu just
little of their urgency and Ashu just seems too scary to think about so I just
seems too scary to think about so I just lie there it sounds like you're feeling
lie there it sounds like you're feeling remorse maybe you believe you exposed
remorse maybe you believe you exposed your father to ridicule maybe but I
your father to ridicule maybe but I tried to be fair and still show how
tried to be fair and still show how angry I felt even so every boy when he's
angry I felt even so every boy when he's little looks up to his father that
little looks up to his father that sounds true but it's hard for me to
sounds true but it's hard for me to remember mainly I remember arguing with
remember mainly I remember arguing with him and being told that I couldn't do
him and being told that I couldn't do anything as well as he could and now
anything as well as he could and now that you're becoming successful you feel
that you're becoming successful you feel bad about proving your father wrong no
bad about proving your father wrong no matter what I accomplish it doesn't seem
matter what I accomplish it doesn't seem like much compared to surviving ashz but
like much compared to surviving ashz but you weren't in ashz you were in Rico
you weren't in ashz you were in Rico park maybe your father needed to show
park maybe your father needed to show that he was always right that he can
that he was always right that he can always survive because he felt guilty
always survive because he felt guilty about
about surviving maybe and he took his guilt
surviving maybe and he took his guilt out on you where it was safe on a real
out on you where it was safe on a real Survivor um tell me do you feel guilt
Survivor um tell me do you feel guilt about surviving the
about surviving the camps no just sadness so do you admire
camps no just sadness so do you admire your father for
your father for surviving well sure I know there was a
surviving well sure I know there was a lot of luck involved but he was
lot of luck involved but he was amazingly present-minded and
amazingly present-minded and resourceful then you think it's
resourceful then you think it's admirable to survive does that mean it's
admirable to survive does that mean it's not admirable to not survive whoosh I I
not admirable to not survive whoosh I I think I see what you mean it's as if
think I see what you mean it's as if life equals winning so death equals
life equals winning so death equals losing
losing yes life always takes the side of life
yes life always takes the side of life and somehow the victims are blamed but
and somehow the victims are blamed but it wasn't the best people who survived
it wasn't the best people who survived nor did the best ones die it was
nor did the best ones die it was random I'm not talking about your book
random I'm not talking about your book now but look at how many books have
now but look at how many books have already been written about the Holocaust
already been written about the Holocaust what's the point people haven't changed
what's the point people haven't changed maybe they need a newer bigger
maybe they need a newer bigger Holocaust anyway the victims who died
Holocaust anyway the victims who died can never tell their side of the story
can never tell their side of the story so maybe it's better not to have any
so maybe it's better not to have any more
more stories uh-huh Samuel Becket once said
stories uh-huh Samuel Becket once said every word is like an unnecessary stain
every word is like an unnecessary stain un silence and nothingness
un silence and nothingness yes on the other hand he said it he was
yes on the other hand he said it he was right maybe you can include that in your
right maybe you can include that in your book my
book my book what book some part of me doesn't
book what book some part of me doesn't want to draw or think about AST I can't
want to draw or think about AST I can't visualize it clearly and I can't begin
visualize it clearly and I can't begin to imagine what it felt
to imagine what it felt like what ashz felt
like what ashz felt like how can I explain
like how can I explain boo it felt a little like that but
boo it felt a little like that but always but from the moment you got to
always but from the moment you got to the gate until the very end so what part
the gate until the very end so what part of your book are you trying to
of your book are you trying to visualize my father worked in the tin
visualize my father worked in the tin shop near the camp I have no idea what
shop near the camp I have no idea what kind of tools and stuff to draw there's
kind of tools and stuff to draw there's no documentation
no documentation let's see there would be a cutter like a
let's see there would be a cutter like a giant paper cutter and maybe an electric
giant paper cutter and maybe an electric drill press or two how do you know that
drill press or two how do you know that oh I worked in a tool and die shop in
oh I worked in a tool and die shop in chal Sakia when I was a kid but it's
chal Sakia when I was a kid but it's getting kind of late now and I still
getting kind of late now and I still have to walk my dogs okay I'll see you
have to walk my dogs okay I'll see you in a week gee I don't understand exactly
in a week gee I don't understand exactly why but sessions with Pavel somehow make
why but sessions with Pavel somehow make me feel better maybe I could show the
me feel better maybe I could show the tin shop and not draw the drill press I
tin shop and not draw the drill press I hate to draw
hate to draw machinery and so then when I came out of
machinery and so then when I came out of the hospital right away she started
the hospital right away she started again that I changed my will please pop
again that I changed my will please pop the tapes on let's continue I was still
the tapes on let's continue I was still so sick and tired and to have peace only
so sick and tired and to have peace only I agreed to make it legal she brought
I agreed to make it legal she brought right away to my bed a notary let's get
right away to my bed a notary let's get back to
back to ashz $15 he charged to come if she
ashz $15 he charged to come if she waited only a week until I was Stronger
waited only a week until I was Stronger I go to the bank and take a notary for
I go to the bank and take a notary for only a quarter enough tell me about
only a quarter enough tell me about ashz you're telling me how your Copo
ashz you're telling me how your Copo tried to get you to work as a tinsmith
tried to get you to work as a tinsmith yeah every day I work there right
yeah every day I work there right outside from the camp the chief of the
outside from the camp the chief of the tinmen was a Russian Jew named yle B
tinmen was a Russian Jew named yle B you're not a tinsmith you can't even cut
you're not a tinsmith you can't even cut it right but this is how I've always
it right but this is how I've always done it I've only been a tinsmith for a
done it I've only been a tinsmith for a few years if you show me how you want it
few years if you show me how you want it cut I can learn
cut I can learn quickly huh you never did an honest days
quickly huh you never did an honest days of work in your whole life spiegelman I
of work in your whole life spiegelman I know all about you I don't know where
know all about you I don't know where from he heard stories about me you owned
from he heard stories about me you owned big factories and exploited your workers
big factories and exploited your workers you dirty
you dirty capitalist he was a communist this
capitalist he was a communist this y they send direct like you here while
y they send direct like you here while they send real tmen up in the chimney
they send real tmen up in the chimney watch out I got my eye on you I was
watch out I got my eye on you I was afraid he can really do me something
afraid he can really do me something with the other boys there I got along
with the other boys there I got along fine don't worry you just have to know
fine don't worry you just have to know how to handle yle bring him a few eggs
how to handle yle bring him a few eggs some butter or cheese you'll see he'll
some butter or cheese you'll see he'll sing a different tune huh and where do
sing a different tune huh and where do you get all this food just keep your
you get all this food just keep your eyes open you can organize things with
eyes open you can organize things with the pools here pools from nearby they
the pools here pools from nearby they hire to work also here not prisoners but
hire to work also here not prisoners but specialist building
workers I can get you a fine gold watch for a pound of sausage and six eggs
for a pound of sausage and six eggs agreed they had nothing only food from
agreed they had nothing only food from their Farms they were happy to make
their Farms they were happy to make exchanges the head guy from the ashz
exchanges the head guy from the ashz laundry was a fine fellow what knew well
laundry was a fine fellow what knew well my family before the war from him I got
my family before the war from him I got civilian clothing to smuggle out below
civilian clothing to smuggle out below my uniform I was so thin the guards
my uniform I was so thin the guards didn't see if I wore an
didn't see if I wore an extra here yid I've got a big piece of
extra here yid I've got a big piece of cheese for you a gift very nice
cheese for you a gift very nice bean and what else do you have there a
bean and what else do you have there a loaf of bread you're a rich
loaf of bread you're a rich man wait I need that to pay off the guy
man wait I need that to pay off the guy who helped me organize the cheese H he
who helped me organize the cheese H he was so greedy yid he wanted I risk only
was so greedy yid he wanted I risk only for him everything I too had to eat
for him everything I too had to eat everybody was so hungry always we didn't
everybody was so hungry always we didn't know even what we are doing in the
know even what we are doing in the morning for breakfast we got only a
morning for breakfast we got only a bitter drink made from
bitter drink made from Roots I woke before everybody to have
Roots I woke before everybody to have time to the toilet and find still some
time to the toilet and find still some tea left one time a day they gave a suit
tea left one time a day they gave a suit from turnips to stand near the first of
from turnips to stand near the first of the line was no good you only got water
the line was no good you only got water mix it mix it near the end was better
mix it mix it near the end was better solid Things From The Bottom floated
solid Things From The Bottom floated but too far to the end it was also no
but too far to the end it was also no good because many times it could be no
good because many times it could be no soup anymore and one time each day they
soup anymore and one time each day they gave to us a small bread crunchy like
gave to us a small bread crunchy like glass the flour they mix with Sal dust
glass the flour they mix with Sal dust together we got one little brick of this
together we got one little brick of this what had to last the full day most
what had to last the full day most gobbled it right away but always I saved
gobbled it right away but always I saved a half for
a half for later and in the evenings we got spoiled
later and in the evenings we got spoiled cheese or Jam if we were lucky a couple
cheese or Jam if we were lucky a couple times a week we got a sausage big like
times a week we got a sausage big like two of my fingers only this much we got
two of my fingers only this much we got if you ate how they gave you it was just
if you ate how they gave you it was just enough to die more
enough to die more slowly each morning and evening they
slowly each morning and evening they made an Appel they counted the live ones
made an Appel they counted the live ones and dead ones to see it wasn't any
and dead ones to see it wasn't any missing we stood sometimes the whole
missing we stood sometimes the whole night while they counted again and again
night while they counted again and again on our appels it was one old guy there
on our appels it was one old guy there always he was
always he was complaining I don't belong here with
complaining I don't belong here with these yids and POA I'm German like you I
these yids and POA I'm German like you I have medals from the Kaiser my son is a
have medals from the Kaiser my son is a German soldier only they hit him and
German soldier only they hit him and they laughed was he really a
they laughed was he really a German who knows it was German prisoners
German who knows it was German prisoners also but for Germans this guy was Jewish
also but for Germans this guy was Jewish on one Appel he didn't stand straight
on one Appel he didn't stand straight and a guard dragged him away I heard he
and a guard dragged him away I heard he pushed him down and jumped hard on his
pushed him down and jumped hard on his neck or they sent him to the gas I don't
neck or they sent him to the gas I don't remember but they finished him and he
remember but they finished him and he never anymore complained tell me about
never anymore complained tell me about mom were you in touch with her in ashz
mom were you in touch with her in ashz yeah in the beginning I knew only her
yeah in the beginning I knew only her number and that she was there in birken
number and that she was there in birken now this I found out by workers from
now this I found out by workers from birkenau would pass where I was teaching
birkenau would pass where I was teaching English where was birkenau the camp was
English where was birkenau the camp was part from ashwoods it was maybe 2 miles
part from ashwoods it was maybe 2 miles to go from ashwoods to berken there it
to go from ashwoods to berken there it was much more big and wtz we had say
was much more big and wtz we had say 20,000 prisoners and berino was at least
20,000 prisoners and berino was at least five times so many ashz it was a camp
five times so many ashz it was a camp where they gave you to work so they
where they gave you to work so they didn't finish you so fast beral was even
didn't finish you so fast beral was even more bad it was 800 people in a building
more bad it was 800 people in a building made for 50 horses there it was just a
made for 50 horses there it was just a death place with Jews waiting for gas
death place with Jews waiting for gas and there it was Anna come it's time now
and there it was Anna come it's time now we'll hurry for lunch home to The
we'll hurry for lunch home to The Bungalow so you were actually in touch
Bungalow so you were actually in touch with with Anna and Berkel yeah for mancy
with with Anna and Berkel yeah for mancy I had a real contact with Mother until
I had a real contact with Mother until later I could bring Anna to wait who's
later I could bring Anna to wait who's mancy she was a Hungarian mancy who
mancy she was a Hungarian mancy who worked sometimes there beautiful a tall
worked sometimes there beautiful a tall blonde girl and clever rest behind that
blonde girl and clever rest behind that stack of wood I'll warn you if a guard
stack of wood I'll warn you if a guard comes close she had a lover I heard
comes close she had a lover I heard later an SS man he got for her a good
later an SS man he got for her a good position over 10 or 12 other girls from
position over 10 or 12 other girls from burgeno
burgeno Miss up here I see how kind you are help
Miss up here I see how kind you are help me please huh what do you want nothing
me please huh what do you want nothing for me but I'm afraid for my wife in
for me but I'm afraid for my wife in biren now can you find out if she's
biren now can you find out if she's still alive I told her Anna's name and
still alive I told her Anna's name and number I save some food I can pay you
number I save some food I can pay you for your help keep your food we'll be
for your help keep your food we'll be working here again in a few days I'll
working here again in a few days I'll see what I can find out each day I
see what I can find out each day I looked 4 days after I saw her
looked 4 days after I saw her I met a woman named Anna from svak she's
I met a woman named Anna from svak she's very frail she spoke over to one of her
very frail she spoke over to one of her workers I spoke only to my tin so nobody
workers I spoke only to my tin so nobody will notice someone told her that her
will notice someone told her that her husband is still alive and she started
husband is still alive and she started sobbing with joy I heard this and I
sobbing with joy I heard this and I started also crying a little and mancy
started also crying a little and mancy she too started
she too started crying a few days after mancy again came
crying a few days after mancy again came there I put some garbage under a rock
there I put some garbage under a rock near the doorway she brought to me a
near the doorway she brought to me a letter a real letter from Anna I miss
letter a real letter from Anna I miss you she wrote to me each day I think to
you she wrote to me each day I think to run into the electric wires and finish
run into the electric wires and finish everything but to know you are alive it
everything but to know you are alive it gives me still to hope she told me her
gives me still to hope she told me her COA was very mean on her and gave work
COA was very mean on her and gave work Anna really couldn't do like to run from
Anna really couldn't do like to run from the kitchen Bak cans of soup even for me
the kitchen Bak cans of soup even for me such cans were heavy and for Anna she
such cans were heavy and for Anna she was so small it was impossible she
was so small it was impossible she couldn't hold well her end
couldn't hold well her end always she spilled makao beat Anna very
always she spilled makao beat Anna very hard but kept her to this job if Anna
hard but kept her to this job if Anna spilled over all from the soup then no
spilled over all from the soup then no one got what to eat especially Anna I
one got what to eat especially Anna I wrote to her I think of you always and
wrote to her I think of you always and sent with mancy two pieces of bread if
sent with mancy two pieces of bread if the SS would see if she was taking food
the SS would see if she was taking food into the camp right away they would kill
into the camp right away they would kill her but always she took so she said if a
her but always she took so she said if a couple is loving each other so much I
couple is loving each other so much I must help however I
must help however I can each day I marched to work and hoped
can each day I marched to work and hoped again I'll see mancy she could have more
again I'll see mancy she could have more news of Anna I just read about the camp
news of Anna I just read about the camp orchestra that played as you marched out
orchestra that played as you marched out the gate an orchestra no I remember only
the gate an orchestra no I remember only marching not any orchestras from the
marching not any orchestras from the gate guards took us over to the workshop
gate guards took us over to the workshop how could it be there in Orchestra I
how could it be there in Orchestra I don't know but it was very well
don't know but it was very well documented no at the gate I heard only
documented no at the gate I heard only guard sh shouting did you ever talk with
guard sh shouting did you ever talk with any of the
any of the guards we were below their dignity we
guards we were below their dignity we were not even men but it was one guy if
were not even men but it was one guy if he spoke of course I answered he had
he spoke of course I answered he had even a little
even a little heart ah guten Morgan the spring air
heart ah guten Morgan the spring air reminds me of home of
reminds me of home of nurg yes I was there once it's a
nurg yes I was there once it's a beautiful city and if you like me maybe
beautiful city and if you like me maybe someday he won't shoot me one time time
someday he won't shoot me one time time he was missing a few days you look pale
he was missing a few days you look pale were you sick asled that no I was
were you sick asled that no I was working in Beren now yes I've heard
working in Beren now yes I've heard about what goes on there shut up and he
about what goes on there shut up and he was afraid anymore to
was afraid anymore to speak when I visited Anna there I saw
speak when I visited Anna there I saw with my own eyes how it was you saw
with my own eyes how it was you saw Anna yeah every few days it came an SS
Anna yeah every few days it came an SS commission to the tin shop you have more
commission to the tin shop you have more work than you need here give us 10
work than you need here give us 10 prisoners to take back to the main camp
prisoners to take back to the main camp for other
for other work well take that one and that one and
work well take that one and that one and wait don't take him he's one of my best
wait don't take him he's one of my best roofers take that one and that one The
roofers take that one and that one The Unlucky ones went over for the bad jobs
Unlucky ones went over for the bad jobs but me yle kept protected send a crew to
but me yle kept protected send a crew to sector bib in Bergen now some of the
sector bib in Bergen now some of the roots in the woman's Camp have
roots in the woman's Camp have collapsed let me go to Bergen now I've
collapsed let me go to Bergen now I've never seen it Go Spielman and don't come
never seen it Go Spielman and don't come back for all I
back for all I care I give up my best hman and you I
care I give up my best hman and you I save why so I marched with a few tinmen
save why so I marched with a few tinmen over in birken I came the first time in
over in birken I came the first time in the summer of
the summer of 1944 thousands hundreds of thousands of
1944 thousands hundreds of thousands of hungarians were arriving there at this
hungarians were arriving there at this time inside the camp we called out maybe
time inside the camp we called out maybe somebody knew if our loved ones are here
somebody knew if our loved ones are here alive Ava Ava Goldberg from lods Anna
alive Ava Ava Goldberg from lods Anna alberg from
alberg from SVC my God that's vattic I'll go find
SVC my God that's vattic I'll go find Anna I was so happy someone brought
Anna I was so happy someone brought somehow Anna over don't look up darling
somehow Anna over don't look up darling a guard May spot us she looks so like a
a guard May spot us she looks so like a skeleton did mancy bring you my letters
skeleton did mancy bring you my letters yes and when she can she gets me jobs in
yes and when she can she gets me jobs in the kitchen my friends wait outside and
the kitchen my friends wait outside and I bring them scraps no save your scraps
I bring them scraps no save your scraps what if you lose that job what if
what if you lose that job what if something happens to mancy don't worry
something happens to mancy don't worry about your friends believe me they don't
about your friends believe me they don't worry about you they just worry about
worry about you they just worry about getting a bigger share of your
getting a bigger share of your food but my friends are always hungry
food but my friends are always hungry and I I don't have much of an
and I I don't have much of an appetite I beg you Anna keep yourself
appetite I beg you Anna keep yourself strong for my sake just seeing you again
strong for my sake just seeing you again gives me
gives me strength I have to go before anyone
strength I have to go before anyone notices I'm missing I I think about
notices I'm missing I I think about about you
about you always I was a few times in birkenau and
always I was a few times in birkenau and once I had really troubles I was going
once I had really troubles I was going from work and passed by Anna vladic
from work and passed by Anna vladic vladic vladic Anna darling did you get
vladic vladic Anna darling did you get the food I sent you yes you always
the food I sent you yes you always arrange Miracles I think about you
arrange Miracles I think about you always we spoke a minute only and I went
always we spoke a minute only and I went on my way a guard screamed at me halt
on my way a guard screamed at me halt who are you talking to no nobody
who are you talking to no nobody a stranger asked if I knew her brother
a stranger asked if I knew her brother in
in ashz I didn't know anything so I hardly
ashz I didn't know anything so I hardly answered get inside when I'm finished
answered get inside when I'm finished with you you'll know something Jewish
with you you'll know something Jewish pimp you're not here to flirt and gossip
pimp you're not here to flirt and gossip count the blows if you lose count I'll
count the blows if you lose count I'll start
start again
again a
a z
z dry so he beat me what can I tell you
dry so he beat me what can I tell you only thank God un didn't get also such a
only thank God un didn't get also such a beating she wouldn't live the next days
beating she wouldn't live the next days it was hard to go to work but to go to
it was hard to go to work but to go to the hospital I could easy not come again
the hospital I could easy not come again out it wasn't a place with medicines
out it wasn't a place with medicines only a Place full with prisoners too
only a Place full with prisoners too sick to work each day was selections the
sick to work each day was selections the doctors chose out the weaker ones to go
doctors chose out the weaker ones to go and die and the whole Camp was
and die and the whole Camp was selections I went two times in front of
selections I went two times in front of Dr
Dr mangay we stood without anything
mangay we stood without anything straight like a soldier
straight like a soldier he glanced and said face
he glanced and said face left he looked to see if it was sores or
left he looked to see if it was sores or pimples on the body then again face left
pimples on the body then again face left they looked to see if eating no food
they looked to see if eating no food made you too
made you too skinny face
skinny face left if you still had a healthy body to
left if you still had a healthy body to work they passed you through and gave
work they passed you through and gave you another uniform until it came the
you another uniform until it came the next
next selection when first I came I was very
selection when first I came I was very strong then and came well to the good
strong then and came well to the good side
side the ones that had not so lucky the SS
the ones that had not so lucky the SS wrote down their number and sent to the
wrote down their number and sent to the other
other side in the second selection I was in
side in the second selection I was in the barrack in the bed up from me was a
the barrack in the bed up from me was a fine boy a Belgian I dreamed my wife was
fine boy a Belgian I dreamed my wife was alive she was cooking a giant roast with
alive she was cooking a giant roast with thick gravy and fried stop Felix don't
thick gravy and fried stop Felix don't think about food we were expecting
think about food we were expecting dinner guest we waited and waited then
dinner guest we waited and waited then the gong rang I woke up without even
the gong rang I woke up without even tasting the BLX
tasting the BLX a black bear this meant that you must
a black bear this meant that you must not step out from the room they took
not step out from the room they took then the Jews to a selection I came
then the Jews to a selection I came again to the good side but this Belgian
again to the good side but this Belgian he had maybe a rash and they wrote his
he had maybe a rash and they wrote his number anytime they could take him all
number anytime they could take him all night he cried and screamed here Felix
night he cried and screamed here Felix have a piece of
bread look they're going to kill all of us here eventually you this week me the
us here eventually you this week me the next none of us can escape it you must
next none of us can escape it you must be brave and who knows maybe it's not
be brave and who knows maybe it's not even your turn
even your turn yet so he calmed a little but later he
yet so he calmed a little but later he again started what could I do I couldn't
again started what could I do I couldn't tell to the Germans they won't take him
tell to the Germans they won't take him and the next day they
and the next day they took so in the tin shop I had still the
took so in the tin shop I had still the same story with
same story with youle only one apple for me today is
youle only one apple for me today is business bad Mr capitalist
business bad Mr capitalist what happened to the shoe maker who
what happened to the shoe maker who worked in there a lot of the Polish
worked in there a lot of the Polish prisoners were sent to the camps inside
prisoners were sent to the camps inside the Reich they took some of my boys too
the Reich they took some of my boys too I ran to the cappo in charge from all
I ran to the cappo in charge from all the shop do you need a new shoe
the shop do you need a new shoe maker sure the SS took the old one away
maker sure the SS took the old one away but they're still bringing shoes in you
but they're still bringing shoes in you know I've been a Shoemaker since
know I've been a Shoemaker since childhood you don't look like a shoe
childhood you don't look like a shoe maker to me you're a tinman do I have to
maker to me you're a tinman do I have to have it written on my forehead all right
have it written on my forehead all right then fix this I learned a little shoe
then fix this I learned a little shoe fixing watching how they work when I was
fixing watching how they work when I was with my cousin milock there in the
with my cousin milock there in the ghetto Shoe Shop to fix such an open
ghetto Shoe Shop to fix such an open sole I knew to take a double thread
sole I knew to take a double thread smeared with wax make then a hole and
smeared with wax make then a hole and push a thread halfway only and on the
push a thread halfway only and on the upper part put two holes even to the
upper part put two holes even to the sole bring the thread then through these
sole bring the thread then through these holes cross the thread from the top and
holes cross the thread from the top and bottom
bottom both ends through the new hole in the
both ends through the new hole in the sole and repeat so only the shoe is
sole and repeat so only the shoe is closed and so it's made you can't even
closed and so it's made you can't even see it had stitches you're better than
see it had stitches you're better than our last shoe maker you see it's good to
our last shoe maker you see it's good to know how to do
know how to do everything so now I was a shoe maker I
everything so now I was a shoe maker I had here a warm and private room where
had here a warm and private room where to sit huh I knew you were an expert
to sit huh I knew you were an expert tinman but I never knew you had so many
tinman but I never knew you had so many other t
other t and here I didn't have any more to worry
and here I didn't have any more to worry will yle give me out officials like
will yle give me out officials like better if I fix their shoes then descend
better if I fix their shoes then descend to the big shops inside the camp this is
to the big shops inside the camp this is a new boot I don't want your repair to
a new boot I don't want your repair to show it's a bad rip I'll do my best if
show it's a bad rip I'll do my best if it doesn't look brand new by tomorrow
it doesn't look brand new by tomorrow you won't be here anymore understand me
you won't be here anymore understand me I knew to fix souls in heels but what
I knew to fix souls in heels but what this gapa wanted it needed a specialist
this gapa wanted it needed a specialist so going from work I hit this boot to
so going from work I hit this boot to sneak it to a real Shoemaker in ashz can
sneak it to a real Shoemaker in ashz can you fix this I'll give you a day's
you fix this I'll give you a day's ration of bread for a day's ration of
ration of bread for a day's ration of bread I can fix anything I was careful
bread I can fix anything I was careful how he did so next time I could save
how he did so next time I could save myself such a bread next day I had the
myself such a bread next day I had the boot ready for the
boot ready for the gapo he left the boot and went without
gapo he left the boot and went without one word and he came back with a whole
one word and he came back with a whole sausage you did a good job you know what
sausage you did a good job you know what this was a whole sausage
this was a whole sausage you can't imagine I cut with a shoe
you can't imagine I cut with a shoe knife and ate so fast I was a little
knife and ate so fast I was a little sick after I couldn't anymore make a
sick after I couldn't anymore make a business smuggling with Polish workers
business smuggling with Polish workers from here as a Shoemaker but still I was
from here as a Shoemaker but still I was well off the gapo what I fixed his boot
well off the gapo what I fixed his boot recommended me so his friends wanted iix
recommended me so his friends wanted iix also their shoes and paid me in food I
also their shoes and paid me in food I shared sometimes to the cappo in charge
shared sometimes to the cappo in charge I just organized some eggs want one
I just organized some eggs want one you're friendly Jew sure we can cook
you're friendly Jew sure we can cook them on the heater if you want to live
them on the heater if you want to live it's good to be friendly and here's a
it's good to be friendly and here's a little bread for our meal great say what
little bread for our meal great say what are all those new buildings they're
are all those new buildings they're putting up there just some new workshops
putting up there just some new workshops they're expanding the union Munitions
they're expanding the union Munitions Factory they're putting up some Barracks
Factory they're putting up some Barracks as to move some woman workers from
as to move some woman workers from burken now over
burken now over here my wife's in burken now maybe I can
here my wife's in burken now maybe I can get her into one of those Barracks H
get her into one of those Barracks H impossible it would cost a fortune and
impossible it would cost a fortune and bride
bride he unwrapped himself some cheese and ate
he unwrapped himself some cheese and ate himself a piece please could I have that
himself a piece please could I have that piece of paper well sure I can't let you
piece of paper well sure I can't let you have the paper but not the cheese I
have the paper but not the cheese I needed to write over to Anna even paper
needed to write over to Anna even paper was hard to have here my friends came
was hard to have here my friends came always to me when they needed I found
always to me when they needed I found and saved for the toilet most used a
and saved for the toilet most used a piece from their clothes or their hand
piece from their clothes or their hand why didn't other people save
why didn't other people save paper you know how most people are
paper you know how most people are so I wrote over to Anna that now I am a
so I wrote over to Anna that now I am a shoe maker and I heard here about these
shoe maker and I heard here about these new
new Barrack's and mancy took it she was so
Barrack's and mancy took it she was so good always she took on the back from my
good always she took on the back from my letter Anna wrote how much she wanted
letter Anna wrote how much she wanted only to come to such a Barracks near to
only to come to such a Barracks near to me Anna's Barracks was maybe a thousand
me Anna's Barracks was maybe a thousand girls with a bad CAO would hit anybody
girls with a bad CAO would hit anybody what came near sneak I saw you take a
what came near sneak I saw you take a second piece of bread no I she had
second piece of bread no I she had leather boots not wood they were in very
leather boots not wood they were in very bad shape but really
bad shape but really leather nice boots it's a Pity the souls
leather nice boots it's a Pity the souls are coming
are coming apart so what do you care you could send
apart so what do you care you could send them to my husband he's a Shoemaker in
them to my husband he's a Shoemaker in owitz oh really so she arranged the
owitz oh really so she arranged the boots over to me of course I fixed very
boots over to me of course I fixed very nice the shoes and the Kappa was very
nice the shoes and the Kappa was very different with Anna that soup can is too
different with Anna that soup can is too heavy for you come rest in my room until
heavy for you come rest in my room until the Appel very different I thought only
the Appel very different I thought only how happy it would be to have Anna so
how happy it would be to have Anna so near to me in these new
near to me in these new Barrack's it could be arranged for 100
Barrack's it could be arranged for 100 cigarettes and a bottle of vodka but
cigarettes and a bottle of vodka but this was a fortune one day's bread
this was a fortune one day's bread equals three cigarettes 200 Cigarettes
equals three cigarettes 200 Cigarettes equals one bottle of vodka how can you
equals one bottle of vodka how can you get cigarettes each week the workers
get cigarettes each week the workers they gave us three they issued a luxury
they gave us three they issued a luxury like that
like that yeah and if you don't smoke you can
yeah and if you don't smoke you can exchange for bread I starved a little to
exchange for bread I starved a little to pay to bring Anna over all what I
pay to bring Anna over all what I organized I kept in a box under my
organized I kept in a box under my mattress but when I came back one time
mattress but when I came back one time from work it it's gone I'm telling you I
from work it it's gone I'm telling you I wanted to cry you left the box in the
wanted to cry you left the box in the barracks how could it not be taken I
barracks how could it not be taken I didn't think on it but everyone was
didn't think on it but everyone was starving to
starving to death I guess I just don't understand
death I guess I just don't understand yes about aitz nobody can understand so
yes about aitz nobody can understand so I Sav second time a fortune and gave
I Sav second time a fortune and gave over bribes to bring on a close to me
over bribes to bring on a close to me and in the start of October 1944 I saw a
and in the start of October 1944 I saw a few thousand women in these new
few thousand women in these new barracks and with them was Anna this I
barracks and with them was Anna this I arranged it was the only time I was
arranged it was the only time I was happy in
happy in owitz when nobody saw I went back and
owitz when nobody saw I went back and forth until I saw her from far going to
forth until I saw her from far going to make Munitions she went also back and
make Munitions she went also back and forth and until it was safe to approach
forth and until it was safe to approach over to my food packages but one time it
over to my food packages but one time it was very bad hey you stop drop that
was very bad hey you stop drop that package and stop right there stop she
package and stop right there stop she ran she didn't know where into her own
ran she didn't know where into her own block only a friend from Anna was there
block only a friend from Anna was there as a room
as a room cleaner hide neonia quick get under one
cleaner hide neonia quick get under one of the
of the blankets I know you're in here someplace
blankets I know you're in here someplace and when I find you I'll kill kill you
and when I find you I'll kill kill you right here on the spot it was several
right here on the spot it was several rooms there and hundreds of beds in one
rooms there and hundreds of beds in one on a leg shaking afraid to breathe even
on a leg shaking afraid to breathe even I'll kill you kill you for maybe an hour
I'll kill you kill you for maybe an hour like crazy she ran from room to room thr
like crazy she ran from room to room thr upside down the beds B get all the beds
upside down the beds B get all the beds in order before the Appel okay Anna it's
in order before the Appel okay Anna it's safe to come out now but this wasn't yet
safe to come out now but this wasn't yet over on the evening a pel she came again
over on the evening a pel she came again the Cabo The Prisoner I chased this
the Cabo The Prisoner I chased this afternoon will now step forward but
afternoon will now step forward but mother didn't step out it will be better
mother didn't step out it will be better for you if you step out then if I find
for you if you step out then if I find you she came back and forth looking in
you she came back and forth looking in each face but with the stripes everyone
each face but with the stripes everyone looked all the same if you know who she
looked all the same if you know who she is push her forward or you'll all suffer
is push her forward or you'll all suffer she made them to run to jump to bend
she made them to run to jump to bend until they couldn't anymore then more
until they couldn't anymore then more the same for a few appels it went so but
the same for a few appels it went so but nobody of Anna's friends gave her out
nobody of Anna's friends gave her out you can imagine what she went through I
you can imagine what she went through I had to stop sending over such packages
had to stop sending over such packages more to Anna I lost anyway my job near
more to Anna I lost anyway my job near to her soon after my whole Workshop they
to her soon after my whole Workshop they closed out they put us back to the main
closed out they put us back to the main cab and took me for black work black
cab and took me for black work black work carrying back and forth big Stones
work carrying back and forth big Stones digging out of holes each day different
digging out of holes each day different but always the same very hard
but always the same very hard and God forbid if you stopped only a
and God forbid if you stopped only a minute to breathe you got hit to the
minute to breathe you got hit to the head or worse for me they never hit
head or worse for me they never hit because I worked all my muscles away I
because I worked all my muscles away I like better indoors work I sometimes was
like better indoors work I sometimes was a bexia a bed after poer after everybody
a bexia a bed after poer after everybody fixed their bed we came to fix better so
fixed their bed we came to fix better so the straw looked
the straw looked Square what a crazy job no they wanted
Square what a crazy job no they wanted everything neat and in good
everything neat and in good order but these days I got too skinny
order but these days I got too skinny and it came again a selection
and it came again a selection Blox now it could be my
Blox now it could be my turn right away I ran inside the
turn right away I ran inside the toilets and if someone looked I'll tell
toilets and if someone looked I'll tell I had a bad stomach what had I to lose
I had a bad stomach what had I to lose nobody looked so I sat lucky the whole
nobody looked so I sat lucky the whole selection so did you do black work the
selection so did you do black work the rest of the time you were there I had
rest of the time you were there I had not again a new chance for a better job
not again a new chance for a better job in owitz together I was 10
in owitz together I was 10 months how long were you in quarantine
months how long were you in quarantine teaching English maybe two months there
teaching English maybe two months there I had a good I you told me about that
I had a good I you told me about that how many months were you in the tin shop
how many months were you in the tin shop in this Workshop tin and shoe work
in this Workshop tin and shoe work combined I was about five or six
combined I was about five or six months so blackw work lasted 3 months
months so blackw work lasted 3 months yeah no I remind myself after black work
yeah no I remind myself after black work I came again as a tinman with yle for
I came again as a tinman with yle for two months they but wait that would be
two months they but wait that would be 12 months you said you were there a
12 months you said you were there a total of 10 so take less time to the
total of 10 so take less time to the blackw in ashas we didn't wear
blackw in ashas we didn't wear watches Yoo I was looking for
watches Yoo I was looking for you I was worried you were gone for a
you I was worried you were gone for a long time you finished then my bank
long time you finished then my bank papers uh-huh and I made some sandwiches
papers uh-huh and I made some sandwiches for lunch too great I'm starving a
for lunch too great I'm starving a if you made with white bread I'm not
if you made with white bread I'm not allowed to
allowed to eat such a good girl with my special
eat such a good girl with my special bread she knew to make Mala wouldn't
bread she knew to make Mala wouldn't have done such a good sandwich it was
have done such a good sandwich it was the only bread in the house want some
the only bread in the house want some tea or coffee I can make I have a tea
tea or coffee I can make I have a tea bag near the sink drying from breakfast
bag near the sink drying from breakfast how did you become a tinman again M can
how did you become a tinman again M can go for a whole evening out with her
go for a whole evening out with her friends and leave for me nothing cooked
friends and leave for me nothing cooked to eat or drink
to eat or drink you see how it is I have now one more
you see how it is I have now one more time an unnecessary suffering in my life
time an unnecessary suffering in my life how did you get back into the tin shop
how did you get back into the tin shop when the Russians came near the Germans
when the Russians came near the Germans made ready to run from owitz they needed
made ready to run from owitz they needed tinmen to pull apart the machineries of
tinmen to pull apart the machineries of the gas Chambers they wanted to pack it
the gas Chambers they wanted to pack it all to Germany there they could take
all to Germany there they could take also all of the Jews to finish them in
also all of the Jews to finish them in quiet the Germans didn't want to leave
quiet the Germans didn't want to leave anywhere a sign of all what they did you
anywhere a sign of all what they did you heard about the gas but I'm telling not
heard about the gas but I'm telling not rumors but only what really I saw for
rumors but only what really I saw for this I was an
this I was an eyewitness I came to one of the four
eyewitness I came to one of the four Creo
Creo buildings it looks so like a big Bakery
buildings it looks so like a big Bakery From Below grounds in the gas rooms we
From Below grounds in the gas rooms we Tin Men had to take out the pipes and
Tin Men had to take out the pipes and fans for ventilating this was a factory
fans for ventilating this was a factory to make 1 2 3 ashes and smoke from all
to make 1 2 3 ashes and smoke from all what came here underground undressing
what came here underground undressing room underground gas chamber
room underground gas chamber ovens special prisoners worked here
ovens special prisoners worked here separate they got better bread but each
separate they got better bread but each few months they also were sent up the
few months they also were sent up the chimney one from them showed me
chimney one from them showed me everything how it
everything how it was people believe really it was here a
was people believe really it was here a place for showers so they were told they
place for showers so they were told they came to a big room to undress their
came to a big room to undress their clothes what looks so yes here is a
clothes what looks so yes here is a place so like they say if I saw a couple
place so like they say if I saw a couple of months before how it was all arranged
of months before how it was all arranged here only one time I could see see it
here only one time I could see see it and everyone crowded inside into the
and everyone crowded inside into the shower room the door closed hermetic and
shower room the door closed hermetic and the lights turned dark they climb b a
the lights turned dark they climb b a pesticide dropped into the hollow
pesticide dropped into the hollow columns it was between 3 or 30 minutes
columns it was between 3 or 30 minutes it depended on how much gas they put but
it depended on how much gas they put but soon was nobody anymore
soon was nobody anymore alive the biggest pile of bodies lay
alive the biggest pile of bodies lay right next to the door where they tried
right next to the door where they tried to get out this guy who worked there he
to get out this guy who worked there he told me we pulled the bodies apart with
told me we pulled the bodies apart with with hooks big piles with the strongest
with hooks big piles with the strongest on top older ones and babies crushed
on top older ones and babies crushed below often the skulls were smashed
below often the skulls were smashed their fingers were broken from trying to
their fingers were broken from trying to climb up the walls and sometimes their
climb up the walls and sometimes their arms were as long as their bodies pulled
arms were as long as their bodies pulled from the sockets enough I didn't want
from the sockets enough I didn't want more to hear but anyway he told me they
more to hear but anyway he told me they pulled the bodies with an elevator up to
pulled the bodies with an elevator up to the ovens many ovens and each one they
the ovens many ovens and each one they burned two or three at a time to such a
burned two or three at a time to such a place finished my father my sisters my
place finished my father my sisters my brothers so many what are they doing
brothers so many what are they doing over there digging trenches in case the
over there digging trenches in case the Russians attack
Russians attack trenches those are giant Graves they're
trenches those are giant Graves they're filling in it started in May and went on
filling in it started in May and went on all
all summer they brought Jews from Hungary
summer they brought Jews from Hungary too many for their ovens so they dug
too many for their ovens so they dug those big cremation
those big cremation pits the holes were big so like the
pits the holes were big so like the swimming pool the Pines Hotel here and
swimming pool the Pines Hotel here and train after train rain of hungarians
train after train rain of hungarians came and those would finished in the gas
came and those would finished in the gas chambers before they got pushed in these
chambers before they got pushed in these Graves it was the lucky ones the others
Graves it was the lucky ones the others had to jump in the graves while still
had to jump in the graves while still they were alive prisoners would work
they were alive prisoners would work there poured gasoline over the live ones
there poured gasoline over the live ones and the dead ones and the fat from the
and the dead ones and the fat from the burning bodies they scooped and poured
burning bodies they scooped and poured again so everyone could burn better
again so everyone could burn better Jesus a it's 2:30 look how the time's
Jesus a it's 2:30 look how the time's flying and it's still so much to do
flying and it's still so much to do today it's dishes to clean dinner to
today it's dishes to clean dinner to defrost and my pills I haven't yet
defrost and my pills I haven't yet counted I don't get it why didn't the
counted I don't get it why didn't the Jews at least try to resist it wasn't so
Jews at least try to resist it wasn't so easy like you think everyone was so
easy like you think everyone was so starving and frightened and tired they
starving and frightened and tired they couldn't believe even what's in front of
couldn't believe even what's in front of their eyes and the Jews lived always
their eyes and the Jews lived always with hope they hoped the Russians can
with hope they hoped the Russians can come before the German bullet arrived
come before the German bullet arrived from the gun into their head and oops oi
from the gun into their head and oops oi you see how my head is it's my favorite
you see how my head is it's my favorite dish now broken it's only a dish but why
dish now broken it's only a dish but why didn't they just try to take one Nazi
didn't they just try to take one Nazi with them in some spots people did fight
with them in some spots people did fight but you can kill maybe one German before
but you can kill maybe one German before they kill fast 100 from you then it's
they kill fast 100 from you then it's everyone dead and this way it was also
everyone dead and this way it was also everyone dead no don't throw away I can
everyone dead no don't throw away I can glue still together that plate I guess
glue still together that plate I guess I'll do the dishes now no you can
I'll do the dishes now no you can defrost down the turkey legs you only
defrost down the turkey legs you only would break me the rest of my
would break me the rest of my plates that night oo he's asleep at last
plates that night oo he's asleep at last it's amazing how hard it is to spend a
it's amazing how hard it is to spend a whole day with him he just radiates so
whole day with him he just radiates so much
much tension poor guy I guess he's worse than
tension poor guy I guess he's worse than usual because of
usual because of Mala nah he's always that way it's one
Mala nah he's always that way it's one of the reason she did run off do you
of the reason she did run off do you think they'll get back together I sure
think they'll get back together I sure hope so otherwise he's our
hope so otherwise he's our responsibility and I don't think I can
responsibility and I don't think I can take him for too much longer what what's
take him for too much longer what what's that noise oh nothing just vattic he's
that noise oh nothing just vattic he's mooning in his sleep again when I was a
mooning in his sleep again when I was a kid I thought that was the noise all GRS
kid I thought that was the noise all GRS made while they
made while they slept so peaceful here at night it's
slept so peaceful here at night it's almost impossible to believe ashwoods
almost impossible to believe ashwoods ever happened uh-huh ouch but these damn
ever happened uh-huh ouch but these damn bugs are eating me alive me too come on
bugs are eating me alive me too come on let's go and side and read it's getting
let's go and side and read it's getting kind of chilly out
anyway Mouse a survivor's tale by AR speleman part two chapter
speleman part two chapter 3 27 28
3 27 28 29 good morning pop counting out your
29 good morning pop counting out your pills again no my crackers the pills I
pills again no my crackers the pills I did hours ago how can you always sleep
did hours ago how can you always sleep so
so late it's not so
late it's not so easy you were making quite a racket I
easy you were making quite a racket I was defrosting out the refrigerator I
was defrosting out the refrigerator I could have used really your help to it
could have used really your help to it it's so beautiful today outside we can
it's so beautiful today outside we can drive all together to the
drive all together to the supermarket
supermarket SW I'll get you there anything you want
SW I'll get you there anything you want for the week to eat turkey legs fish
for the week to eat turkey legs fish whatever you want we don't need much
whatever you want we don't need much we'll be leaving in a day or so anyway
we'll be leaving in a day or so anyway leaving but only you just came I planned
leaving but only you just came I planned you to spend with me to the end of the
you to spend with me to the end of the summer we told you it was just for a few
summer we told you it was just for a few days to be sure you'd be okay alone up
days to be sure you'd be okay alone up here then better if you didn't come now
here then better if you didn't come now I got used a little to having you
I got used a little to having you together by
me I'll pack the foods with M left to return it over to the shop right hump
return it over to the shop right hump yourself for a little cereal
yourself for a little cereal no thanks I'll stick to
no thanks I'll stick to coffee please just taste and you'll see
coffee please just taste and you'll see how good it is no thanks I don't like
how good it is no thanks I don't like Special
Special K but it has salt and also sugar for me
K but it has salt and also sugar for me it's poison I'll give for you a little
it's poison I'll give for you a little yes frell no thanks it's a shame to
yes frell no thanks it's a shame to waste I'll pack and you can take it home
waste I'll pack and you can take it home with you the box is almost empty just
with you the box is almost empty just leave it
leave it here okay if not is not only just try
here okay if not is not only just try then a piece from this fruit cake I'm
then a piece from this fruit cake I'm not hungry so fine I can pack the fruit
not hungry so fine I can pack the fruit cake in with the cereal for you to take
cake in with the cereal for you to take home look we don't want any okay just
home look we don't want any okay just forget it I cannot forget it ever since
forget it I cannot forget it ever since Hitler I don't like to throw out even a
Hitler I don't like to throw out even a crumb then just save the damn Special K
crumb then just save the damn Special K in case Hitler ever comes back I can
in case Hitler ever comes back I can glue together the Box but still I don't
glue together the Box but still I don't think the shop right will exchange
think the shop right will exchange it and so look I'm sorry I snapped at
it and so look I'm sorry I snapped at you before yes the walls are so thin the
you before yes the walls are so thin the neighbors can hear
neighbors can hear everything I mean Fran and I are both
everything I mean Fran and I are both worried about you now that mala's gone
worried about you now that mala's gone but you can't expect us to move in with
but you can't expect us to move in with you permanently what
you permanently what permanently I want only you'll enjoy
permanently I want only you'll enjoy here the summer with me it's paid
here the summer with me it's paid already in full with no refund
already in full with no refund how will you manage living in rioo park
how will you manage living in rioo park all
all alone alone I can manage more easy than
alone alone I can manage more easy than Mala believe me come we'll sit all three
Mala believe me come we'll sit all three together in the front you know last
together in the front you know last night I was reading about owitz some
night I was reading about owitz some prisoners working in the gas Chambers
prisoners working in the gas Chambers revolted they killed three SS men and
revolted they killed three SS men and blew up a
blew up a crematorium yeah for this they all got
crematorium yeah for this they all got killed and the four young girls what
killed and the four young girls what sneaked over to the imun for this they
sneaked over to the imun for this they hang them near to my workshop they were
hang them near to my workshop they were good friends of Anor from SVC they
good friends of Anor from SVC they hanged a long time long
hanged a long time long time a couple weeks more and they
time a couple weeks more and they wouldn't hang it was very near to the
wouldn't hang it was very near to the end there in
end there in htz you hear that fattic the front is no
htz you hear that fattic the front is no more than 25 miles away if we can just
more than 25 miles away if we can just stay alive a little bit longer the
stay alive a little bit longer the Russians will be here this boy worked in
Russians will be here this boy worked in the office and knew rumors the Germans
the office and knew rumors the Germans are getting worried the big shots here
are getting worried the big shots here are already running back into the Reich
are already running back into the Reich they're planning to take everybody here
they're planning to take everybody here back to the camps inside Germany
back to the camps inside Germany everybody but a few of us have a plan
everybody but a few of us have a plan we're not going you have a friend in the
we're not going you have a friend in the camp laundry help us get civilians
camp laundry help us get civilians clothes and join us he took me quick to
clothes and join us he took me quick to an attic in one of the
an attic in one of the blocks this room isn't being used
blocks this room isn't being used anymore when the evacuation starts the
anymore when the evacuation starts the seven of us will come up here to hide we
seven of us will come up here to hide we arranged there clothing and identity
arranged there clothing and identity papers and half each day's bread we put
papers and half each day's bread we put over here we didn't stand on the last
over here we didn't stand on the last appels but came up to this attic
appels but came up to this attic screaming gapo chased everywhere each
screaming gapo chased everywhere each prisoner got a bread a sausage and a
prisoner got a bread a sausage and a kick out out the gate to
kick out out the gate to March then this guy from The Office ran
March then this guy from The Office ran in terrible news we have to leave
in terrible news we have to leave they're going to set fire to the the
they're going to set fire to the the camp and bomb all the blocks hurry
camp and bomb all the blocks hurry finally they didn't bomb but this we
finally they didn't bomb but this we couldn't know we left behind everything
couldn't know we left behind everything we were so afraid even in civilian
we were so afraid even in civilian clothes we organized and ran out it was
clothes we organized and ran out it was already night they gave to each of us a
already night they gave to each of us a blanket and a little bit of food to
blanket and a little bit of food to carry and we went out from MTZ maybe the
carry and we went out from MTZ maybe the last
last one all night I heard shooting he who
one all night I heard shooting he who got tired who can't walk so fast they
got tired who can't walk so fast they shot shot the more we walked the more I
shot shot the more we walked the more I heard shooting and in the daylight far
heard shooting and in the daylight far ahead I saw it somebody is jumping
ahead I saw it somebody is jumping turning rolling 25 or 30 times around
turning rolling 25 or 30 times around and stops oh I said they may be killed
and stops oh I said they may be killed there a dog when I was a boy our
there a dog when I was a boy our neighbor had a dog who got mad and was
neighbor had a dog who got mad and was biting the neighbor came out with a
biting the neighbor came out with a rifle and shot the dog was rolling so
rifle and shot the dog was rolling so around and around kicking before he lay
around and around kicking before he lay quiet and now I thought how amazing it
quiet and now I thought how amazing it is that a human being reacts the same
is that a human being reacts the same like this neighbor's dog what of the
like this neighbor's dog what of the boys what we were in the Attic together
boys what we were in the Attic together talked over to the
talked over to the guard look the war is almost over some
guard look the war is almost over some of us want to escape into the woods we
of us want to escape into the woods we can pay share this gold with the guards
can pay share this gold with the guards in front and behind just don't shoot
in front and behind just don't shoot when we run we'll give you the signal
when we run we'll give you the signal late tonight and sh shoot over your
late tonight and sh shoot over your heads all day long they were arranging
heads all day long they were arranging it's all set vattic help pay off the
it's all set vattic help pay off the guards and join us a how can you trust
guards and join us a how can you trust the
the Germans at night was a commotion 8 or 9
Germans at night was a commotion 8 or 9 ran off and of course you couldn't trust
ran off and of course you couldn't trust so the March was going and going forever
so the March was going and going forever we marched and the ones what didn't fall
we marched and the ones what didn't fall down we marched and so we came over to
down we marched and so we came over to gr
gr Rosen here was a small camp with no gas
Rosen here was a small camp with no gas it was thousands of prisoners from all
it was thousands of prisoners from all around being pulled back into
around being pulled back into Germany everywhere was confusion and
Germany everywhere was confusion and hitting terrible you shits over there go
hitting terrible you shits over there go haul the soup from the kitchen two to
haul the soup from the kitchen two to each
each pale they caught 20 of us to
pale they caught 20 of us to carry you see what's going on here stay
carry you see what's going on here stay with
with me I grabb fast a guy what was still
me I grabb fast a guy what was still strong like me most even couldn't lift
strong like me most even couldn't lift they were weak from marching and no food
they were weak from marching and no food quick
quick quick behind I heard yelling and
quick behind I heard yelling and shouting I didn't look lazy bastards
shouting I didn't look lazy bastards look at how those two run we got an
look at how those two run we got an extra portion of suit for this most were
extra portion of suit for this most were not lucky to be still strong in the
not lucky to be still strong in the morning they chased us to March again
morning they chased us to March again out who knows where through the town we
out who knows where through the town we were going it was empty with no private
were going it was empty with no private people and we saw from Far a train it
people and we saw from Far a train it was such a train for horses for cows
was such a train for horses for cows inside move move they pushed until it
inside move move they pushed until it was no room left we lay one on top of
was no room left we lay one on top of the other like matches like
the other like matches like herrings I pushed to a corner not to get
herrings I pushed to a corner not to get crushed high up I saw a few hooks to
crushed high up I saw a few hooks to chain up maybe the
chain up maybe the animals I had still the thin blanket
animals I had still the thin blanket they gave me I climbed to someone's
they gave me I climbed to someone's shoulders and hooked it strong
shoulders and hooked it strong in this way I can rest and breathe a
in this way I can rest and breathe a little this saved me maybe 25 people
little this saved me maybe 25 people came out from this car of 200 so the
came out from this car of 200 so the train was going we didn't know where and
train was going we didn't know where and then it stopped for days and nights
then it stopped for days and nights nothing no food no water only screams
nothing no food no water only screams inside you see people began to die to
inside you see people began to die to faint I my legs I'm being stabbed I it
faint I my legs I'm being stabbed I it wasn't really to fall and if he fell
wasn't really to fall and if he fell they stood on him so he jabed to their
they stood on him so he jabed to their legs with a knife but usually he anyway
legs with a knife but usually he anyway died if someone had to make a urine or a
died if someone had to make a urine or a bow movement he did where he stood if he
bow movement he did where he stood if he had still food he ate it I ate mostly
had still food he ate it I ate mostly snow from Up on the Roof some had sugar
snow from Up on the Roof some had sugar somehow but it burned my throat I need
somehow but it burned my throat I need water water give me some snow
water water give me some snow I can only reach a little for myself
I can only reach a little for myself please please I beg
please please I beg you okay give me some sugar and I'll
you okay give me some sugar and I'll give you some
give you some snow so I ate also sugar and saved their
snow so I ate also sugar and saved their life the train stayed so without moving
life the train stayed so without moving I don't know how long up to a week then
I don't know how long up to a week then one day they opened throw out your dead
one day they opened throw out your dead and clean up your bill if the dead had
and clean up your bill if the dead had bread left or better shoes we kept they
bread left or better shoes we kept they didn't need anymore outside were many
didn't need anymore outside were many trains standing for
trains standing for weeks what they never opened and it was
weeks what they never opened and it was everyone dead inside they closed us
everyone dead inside they closed us again we were very happy we had now room
again we were very happy we had now room where to stand near to the door we piled
where to stand near to the door we piled new Dead ones each day the Germans
new Dead ones each day the Germans opened how many dead and we threw out
opened how many dead and we threw out and soon we had room even to
and soon we had room even to sit then the train started again
sit then the train started again going and going inside we were more
going and going inside we were more dying and some got crazy we've got to
dying and some got crazy we've got to get out let us out out
get out let us out out out then again it
out then again it stopped they opened that we will throw
stopped they opened that we will throw out the Dead all of you get down we
out the Dead all of you get down we could not believe what we are
could not believe what we are seeing there is the Red Cross yes and
seeing there is the Red Cross yes and the girls are giving to everybody a
the girls are giving to everybody a snack a little coffee and a piece of
snack a little coffee and a piece of bread
bread we didn't remember even how bread looks
we didn't remember even how bread looks we were very
we were very happy then they chased us back in the
happy then they chased us back in the train again to die and so the travel
train again to die and so the travel continued
continued more in the middle we found out that we
more in the middle we found out that we were coming to daa from all the camps of
were coming to daa from all the camps of Europe they now brought back all of us
Europe they now brought back all of us inside
inside Germany this was early February
Germany this was early February 1945 it was no food and so crowded look
1945 it was no food and so crowded look where you go
where you go the shop rate is there and you didn't
the shop rate is there and you didn't turn to it
turn to it whoosh so come we'll go now into get
whoosh so come we'll go now into get back our
back our groceries no way I'm not going to return
groceries no way I'm not going to return a load of open boxes and partially
a load of open boxes and partially eating
eating food what's to be so ashamed it's Foods
food what's to be so ashamed it's Foods I can't eat you wait then in the car
I can't eat you wait then in the car while I arrange it you know I'll bet you
while I arrange it you know I'll bet you that Anna's notebooks were written on
that Anna's notebooks were written on both sides of the page
both sides of the page huh I can't remember why' you say
huh I can't remember why' you say that well if there were any blank pages
that well if there were any blank pages vadic would never have burned
vadic would never have burned them uh-huh hey you can see him in the
them uh-huh hey you can see him in the window jeez vadic and the manager are
window jeez vadic and the manager are shouting at each other now the manager
shouting at each other now the manager is just walking away from him and now
is just walking away from him and now vattic is trailing after him how
vattic is trailing after him how embarrassing
I'd rather kill myself and live through all
all that what returning
that what returning groceries no everything BL went through
groceries no everything BL went through it's a miracle he
it's a miracle he survived uh-huh but in some ways he
survived uh-huh but in some ways he didn't survive maybe we should stay with
didn't survive maybe we should stay with him a few days longer he needs help are
him a few days longer he needs help are you kidding I don't think we'd
you kidding I don't think we'd survive yooo you see I exchanged and got
survive yooo you see I exchanged and got $6 worth of new groceries for only
$6 worth of new groceries for only $1
$1 incredible we were sure you'd get kicked
incredible we were sure you'd get kicked out of the
out of the store what are you talking the manager
store what are you talking the manager is a very fine gentleman he helped me as
is a very fine gentleman he helped me as soon as I explained to him my health how
soon as I explained to him my health how Mala left me and how it was in the camps
Mala left me and how it was in the camps oi get in we can't ever show our faces
oi get in we can't ever show our faces here
here again now we'll drive back so I can
again now we'll drive back so I can phone to my lawyer on
phone to my lawyer on Mala daal you were saying it was very
Mala daal you were saying it was very crowded in that camp yeah this was a
crowded in that camp yeah this was a camp terrible I had a misery I can't
camp terrible I had a misery I can't tell you here and cow my troubles
tell you here and cow my troubles began we were closed in Barrack's
began we were closed in Barrack's sitting on straw waiting only to die in
sitting on straw waiting only to die in the straw it was lice from the lice was
the straw it was lice from the lice was typhus to eat we got only bread and soup
typhus to eat we got only bread and soup but you had to show first your shirt if
but you had to show first your shirt if it was any lice you got no soup this was
it was any lice you got no soup this was impossible everywhere was
impossible everywhere was lice and God forbid if someone got soup
lice and God forbid if someone got soup and someone spilled him a drop like wild
and someone spilled him a drop like wild animals they would fight until there was
animals they would fight until there was blood you can't know what it is to be
blood you can't know what it is to be hungry there in the cow I got an
hungry there in the cow I got an infection in my
infection in my hand I tried to make worse and worse my
hand I tried to make worse and worse my infection I wanted they take me to the
infection I wanted they take me to the infirmary each few days someone came to
infirmary each few days someone came to see who was sick
see who was sick go with them you see the infirmary I
go with them you see the infirmary I heard it was a
heard it was a paradise put the sment on his hand and
paradise put the sment on his hand and keep it bandaged it will clear up
keep it bandaged it will clear up quickly here I had three times a day
quickly here I had three times a day something to eat and it was only two
something to eat and it was only two patients for each bed I worked how I
patients for each bed I worked how I could with one hand so they will like
could with one hand so they will like me that's strange it should have healed
me that's strange it should have healed by now I irritated each day my hand to
by now I irritated each day my hand to stay longer
stay longer ah there I open it up again this hurt me
ah there I open it up again this hurt me really very very much I got afraid for
really very very much I got afraid for my hand and let it
my hand and let it heal I have still today a scar on this
heal I have still today a scar on this place from the infirmary I had to go
place from the infirmary I had to go back to a bad Barrack where we were all
back to a bad Barrack where we were all day standing
day standing outside
outside V what no it was nothing to eat and
V what no it was nothing to eat and nothing to do only to wait and to die I
nothing to do only to wait and to die I can speak German yish polish and
English I talk English also a little I was becoming crazy there's no other
was becoming crazy there's no other French here and I do not know to talk
French here and I do not know to talk German I had nobody to who to talk you
German I had nobody to who to talk you are a PO Jew yes how you know
are a PO Jew yes how you know English I dream always to go one day to
English I dream always to go one day to America so we talked and it made the
America so we talked and it made the time
time lighter each day he found me the
lighter each day he found me the Frenchman B good morning it is again
Frenchman B good morning it is again very cold today look at this my friend I
very cold today look at this my friend I have a box he was not a chew so by the
have a box he was not a chew so by the Red Cross they let packages come to him
Red Cross they let packages come to him my family sends I want that you also eat
my family sends I want that you also eat something my God sardines biscuits
something my God sardines biscuits chocolate he insisted to share with me
chocolate he insisted to share with me and it saved me my life with my new food
and it saved me my life with my new food I came to an
I came to an idea do you want to buy a bar of
idea do you want to buy a bar of chocolate chocolate do I look like a
chocolate chocolate do I look like a millionaire I'll trade it for your
millionaire I'll trade it for your shirt my shirt you're crazy I
shirt my shirt you're crazy I freeze um give me your day's ration of
freeze um give me your day's ration of bread too in asts a shirt was not so
bread too in asts a shirt was not so expensive but here no Goods came in I
expensive but here no Goods came in I cleaned the shirt very very careful and
cleaned the shirt very very careful and outside I dried it
outside I dried it I was lucky to find a piece of paper so
I was lucky to find a piece of paper so careful I wrapped it I unwrapped only
careful I wrapped it I unwrapped only when they called to
when they called to soup here was a shirt with really no
soup here was a shirt with really no lights my old shirt I hid to my pants I
lights my old shirt I hid to my pants I showed the new one okay right away they
showed the new one okay right away they gave me to
gave me to eat you're a genius fattic a
eat you're a genius fattic a genius I helped the Frenchman to also
genius I helped the Frenchman to also organize a shirt so we both got always
organize a shirt so we both got always soup
soup but after a few weeks I got too sick
but after a few weeks I got too sick even to eat
even to eat tyus I got a very hot fever and I
tyus I got a very hot fever and I couldn't sleep
couldn't sleep tyus every night people died of this at
tyus every night people died of this at night I had to go to the toilet down it
night I had to go to the toilet down it was always full the whole Corridor with
was always full the whole Corridor with the dead people piled there you couldn't
the dead people piled there you couldn't go through you had to go on their heads
go through you had to go on their heads and this was terrible because it was so
and this was terrible because it was so slippery the skin in you thought you
slippery the skin in you thought you were
were falling and this was every night so now
falling and this was every night so now I had tyus and I had to go to the toilet
I had tyus and I had to go to the toilet down and I said now it's my time now
down and I said now it's my time now I'll be laying like this ones and
I'll be laying like this ones and someone will step on me I was alive
someone will step on me I was alive still the next time it came a guy from
still the next time it came a guy from the infirmary many didn't live long
the infirmary many didn't live long enough to go to die in the
enough to go to die in the infirmary there I lay too weak even to
infirmary there I lay too weak even to move or to go to the toilet out from bed
move or to go to the toilet out from bed I asked help from the fellas next to me
I asked help from the fellas next to me but in a few hours they were dead and
but in a few hours they were dead and others came they gave bread and soup but
others came they gave bread and soup but I was too weak to eat so I put my
I was too weak to eat so I put my portions below my
portions below my pillow hey there's still bread all over
pillow hey there's still bread all over this one's bed well take it away he'll
this one's bed well take it away he'll never need it I screamed but I couldn't
never need it I screamed but I couldn't scream I was too weak to
scream I was too weak to scream so I I took my shoe and knocked
scream so I I took my shoe and knocked loud stop that
loud stop that racket B keep your damn
racket B keep your damn bread I couldn't eat but I cut pieces to
bread I couldn't eat but I cut pieces to pay for help to go down to the
pay for help to go down to the toilet so my fever fell down and
toilet so my fever fell down and something new
something new came
came attention everyone strong enough to
attention everyone strong enough to travel line up
travel line up outside you will be exchanged as War
outside you will be exchanged as War prisoners at the Swiss border was I
prisoners at the Swiss border was I dreaming only
dreaming only they like to send out the sick
they like to send out the sick ones but not so sick that we arrived
ones but not so sick that we arrived dead I was very weak but for my bread I
dead I was very weak but for my bread I had two friends what helped me when they
had two friends what helped me when they left me go for even a second my legs
left me go for even a second my legs didn't hold
didn't hold me but I came somehow outside the
me but I came somehow outside the gate a
gate a train here was a train not for cows and
train here was a train not for cows and horses but a real train to take
horses but a real train to take passengers
passengers a train for
a train for people I thought this train it must be
people I thought this train it must be for the gapo but no it took us out from
for the gapo but no it took us out from daa in the direction of
daa in the direction of Switzerland whatever happened to the
Switzerland whatever happened to the French guy who helped you yeah he was a
French guy who helped you yeah he was a fine
fine fellow I can't remember even his name
fellow I can't remember even his name but in Paris he is living for years we
but in Paris he is living for years we exchang letters in the English I taught
exchang letters in the English I taught to
to him well did did you save any of his
him well did did you save any of his letters of course I
letters of course I saved but all this I threw away together
saved but all this I threw away together with Anna's
with Anna's notebooks all such things of War I tried
notebooks all such things of War I tried to put out from my mind once for all
to put out from my mind once for all until you rebuild me all this from your
until you rebuild me all this from your questions huh what for do you stop
questions huh what for do you stop franois we're not yet to The
franois we're not yet to The Bungalow there's a
Bungalow there's a hitchhiker a hitchhiker and oi it's a
hitchhiker a hitchhiker and oi it's a color guy it's a bster push quick on the
color guy it's a bster push quick on the gas
gas haa thanks it's a hot day for
haa thanks it's a hot day for walking imp polish oh my God what's
walking imp polish oh my God what's happened to his wife she's lost her head
happened to his wife she's lost her head my cousin's place is just up the road in
my cousin's place is just up the road in Polish censored I just can't believe it
Polish censored I just can't believe it there's a sharer sitting in here youall
there's a sharer sitting in here youall take good care now and be good what
take good care now and be good what happened on you France wall you went
happened on you France wall you went crazy or what I had the whole time to
crazy or what I had the whole time to watch out that this sharer doesn't steal
watch out that this sharer doesn't steal us the groceries from the back seat what
us the groceries from the back seat what that's outrageous how can you of all
that's outrageous how can you of all people be such a racist talk about
people be such a racist talk about blacks the way the Nazis talked about
blacks the way the Nazis talked about the
the Jews I thought really you are more smart
Jews I thought really you are more smart than this
than this franois it's not even to compare the
franois it's not even to compare the sharers and the
sharers and the Jews but how dare you generalize and say
Jews but how dare you generalize and say all black steel it's just stop Yes you
all black steel it's just stop Yes you only don't know them when I first came
only don't know them when I first came to New York I worked in the Garment
to New York I worked in the Garment center before this I didn't see colors
center before this I didn't see colors but there it was sharers everywhere and
but there it was sharers everywhere and if I put down only for one second my
if I put down only for one second my valuables they took but you forget it
valuables they took but you forget it honey he's hopeless yeah better we'll
honey he's hopeless yeah better we'll just forget
just forget it ah you see kids we're home sweet home
it ah you see kids we're home sweet home already now we can make a very happy
already now we can make a very happy lunch from all my new
lunch from all my new groceries only thank God that you're
groceries only thank God that you're Sher didn't take
them Mouse a Survivor still by Art span part two chapter
part two chapter 4 back in rioo park laid
4 back in rioo park laid adum always I saved I saved only so I
adum always I saved I saved only so I can have a little something for my old
can have a little something for my old age so now I have my old age and look
age so now I have my old age and look what I have I have a tank with oxygen
what I have I have a tank with oxygen and I'm so weak with my heart and my
and I'm so weak with my heart and my diabetes I can't live anymore
diabetes I can't live anymore alone I have so much room you and Fran
alone I have so much room you and Fran can come and for no rent live here by me
can come and for no rent live here by me no that's totally out of the
no that's totally out of the question so how have I to live Arty tell
question so how have I to live Arty tell me
me to go to a retiring home it's not for
to go to a retiring home it's not for me well why not get a live-in nurse you
me well why not get a live-in nurse you can afford it and what will my neighbor
can afford it and what will my neighbor say to it if they see a woman is living
say to it if they see a woman is living by me what so hire a male
by me what so hire a male nurse yeah you and Mala you don't know
nurse yeah you and Mala you don't know to make money only to make it
to make money only to make it disappear if I give on Mala $100,000
disappear if I give on Mala $100,000 over to her name then she'll live again
over to her name then she'll live again here this you advise
here this you advise me it's up to
me it's up to you I only don't know how to arrange
you I only don't know how to arrange myself maybe to your room I could find a
myself maybe to your room I could find a tenant to take care of me uh-huh
tenant to take care of me uh-huh maybe well come we have now to carry up
maybe well come we have now to carry up my storm windows to put in [ __ ] I was
my storm windows to put in [ __ ] I was hoping you'd tell me more about your
hoping you'd tell me more about your story this we can talk maybe after but
story this we can talk maybe after but already I'm cold I lose money to heat
already I'm cold I lose money to heat with no storm
windows in other years I put by now the windows that I didn't need
windows that I didn't need help look I'll do it but first just tell
help look I'll do it but first just tell me more about
me more about Anna Anna what is to tell everywhere I
Anna Anna what is to tell everywhere I look I'm seeing
look I'm seeing Anna from my good eye from my glass eye
Anna from my good eye from my glass eye if they're open or they're closed always
if they're open or they're closed always I'm thinking of
I'm thinking of Anna uh I meant when you were Ina where
Anna uh I meant when you were Ina where was
was Anna I don't know to different camps she
Anna I don't know to different camps she marched from ashwoods earlier as me and
marched from ashwoods earlier as me and came also through gross Rosen and then I
came also through gross Rosen and then I don't remember but how did Anna survive
don't remember but how did Anna survive mancy the Hungarian girl when I knew
mancy the Hungarian girl when I knew there in ashz she kept Anna close by to
there in ashz she kept Anna close by to her after the war I looked always for
her after the war I looked always for mancy to give a nice reward but I didn't
mancy to give a nice reward but I didn't know even her full name and I never
know even her full name and I never found mom used to mention
found mom used to mention ravensbrook was mancy with her there
ravensbrook was mancy with her there yeah maybe it was
yeah maybe it was there I know only that Anna came out
there I know only that Anna came out free by the Russian side and she came
free by the Russian side and she came back to svak before me my Liberation it
back to svak before me my Liberation it took
took longer it was the last minutes of the
longer it was the last minutes of the war I left a cow I want to be exchanged
war I left a cow I want to be exchanged by German prisoners on the Swiss border
by German prisoners on the Swiss border but we never came I remember we got each
but we never came I remember we got each a treasure box from the Swiss Red Cross
a treasure box from the Swiss Red Cross sardines biscuits chocolate some ate
sardines biscuits chocolate some ate right away everything I kept of course
right away everything I kept of course to have
to have later so at night some tried to steal
later so at night some tried to steal from me
from me hey with my typhus I needed still much
hey with my typhus I needed still much to rest but this treasure was more to me
to rest but this treasure was more to me than
than sleeping everybody out lying up in
sleeping everybody out lying up in fives here was the end of our
fives here was the end of our ride we had from here to go by foot to
ride we had from here to go by foot to the
the frontier and I saw it's not everywhere
frontier and I saw it's not everywhere my hell it's still life things go on WE
my hell it's still life things go on WE March we stop for hours we stood what's
March we stop for hours we stood what's going on they're taking us back to
going on they're taking us back to dacal no no the Americans are coming it
dacal no no the Americans are coming it was a commotion and rumors then shouts
was a commotion and rumors then shouts the war is over
the war is over it was over March back to the tracks
it was over March back to the tracks sh they didn't leave us go but put us to
sh they didn't leave us go but put us to a freight train the Americans will be in
a freight train the Americans will be in the next town they can have you on this
the next town they can have you on this train no guards came so really we saw it
train no guards came so really we saw it is over
is over now in a half hour this train
now in a half hour this train stopped hey the Americans aren't here
stopped hey the Americans aren't here why wait let's
why wait let's go some went one way some
go some went one way some another we didn't know where we
another we didn't know where we went halt or we'll
went halt or we'll shoot all of a sudden it was a work Mark
shoot all of a sudden it was a work Mark Patrol little by little they got all of
Patrol little by little they got all of us what were going to be free maybe 150
us what were going to be free maybe 150 or 200 people over in the Woods by a big
or 200 people over in the Woods by a big lake I didn't understand what was going
lake I didn't understand what was going on but I was again here in German
on but I was again here in German hands they guarded so we couldn't go
hands they guarded so we couldn't go away there machine gun set up all around
away there machine gun set up all around us we overheard they intend to murder
us we overheard they intend to murder every one of us tonight right on this
every one of us tonight right on this spot in the later afternoon I went over
spot in the later afternoon I went over close to the edge of the water vadex
close to the edge of the water vadex Spelman is that you shc you're alive
Spelman is that you shc you're alive shac was before the war a friend from
shac was before the war a friend from bezin near
bezin near svak we survived everything just to get
svak we survived everything just to get shot while the war
shot while the war ends I still have a little coffee I
ends I still have a little coffee I organized let's make a last cup look get
organized let's make a last cup look get him one older guy he was maybe 50 jumped
him one older guy he was maybe 50 jumped to the lake it was a far
to the lake it was a far swim he made it do you have the strength
swim he made it do you have the strength to try just stay near the water we can
to try just stay near the water we can always try it when the real shooting
always try it when the real shooting starts so it came night we were terrible
starts so it came night we were terrible frightened we sat and
frightened we sat and waited it was crying and
waited it was crying and praying so long we survived and now we
praying so long we survived and now we waited only that they shoot because we
waited only that they shoot because we had not else to do in the early morning
had not else to do in the early morning we were still all alive they're gone
we were still all alive they're gone it's a miracle there's not one German
it's a miracle there's not one German left just their guns what happened I was
left just their guns what happened I was lying near the head officer's tent his
lying near the head officer's tent his girlfriend was arguing with him she
girlfriend was arguing with him she begged him to let us go she warned him
begged him to let us go she warned him he'd be punished the war is over she
he'd be punished the war is over she cried let's run away she saved us
cried let's run away she saved us some went one way some another maybe we
some went one way some another maybe we can get food at one of these Farms
can get food at one of these Farms halt on the road was another Patrol also
halt on the road was another Patrol also catching Jews so we had again same story
catching Jews so we had again same story they found 40 or 50 of us en closed us
they found 40 or 50 of us en closed us to a big barn we heard all night
to a big barn we heard all night shooting in the mountains around our
shooting in the mountains around our guards they all ran away so this next
guards they all ran away so this next morning we were still again Alive come
morning we were still again Alive come shc let's find a bunker until things
shc let's find a bunker until things quiet down we came by a garage so I went
quiet down we came by a garage so I went over please sir we need a place to hide
over please sir we need a place to hide till the Americans get here go away I
till the Americans get here go away I don't want to get
don't want to get involved have pity it's just for a day
involved have pity it's just for a day or two well there's a pit in the back
or two well there's a pit in the back it's none of my business if you want to
it's none of my business if you want to lie in it over a day we lay there then
lie in it over a day we lay there then to work Mark came hey which ways in
to work Mark came hey which ways in Brook that way officer but wait two Jews
Brook that way officer but wait two Jews are back there hiding in a
are back there hiding in a pit they were in so big a hurry to run
pit they were in so big a hurry to run they didn't even look to
they didn't even look to us let's go shc we'll find a safer spot
us let's go shc we'll find a safer spot we passed to a few houses and peaked
we passed to a few houses and peaked inside look no one seems to be home here
inside look no one seems to be home here a part of this house it was a barn we
a part of this house it was a barn we can hide up here under the hay from the
can hide up here under the hay from the walls we heard shouting
walls we heard shouting schel Elsa pack what you can hurry this
schel Elsa pack what you can hurry this may become a battlefield any
may become a battlefield any minute the villagers are running
minute the villagers are running away fine the farther the
away fine the farther the better The Far Side from our barn fell
better The Far Side from our barn fell down a little my God what what
down a little my God what what happened the work Mark is retreating and
happened the work Mark is retreating and blew up the bridge to seal their Trail
blew up the bridge to seal their Trail it means we're free let's look around
it means we're free let's look around it's safe now uh-uh I'm not going
it's safe now uh-uh I'm not going anywhere I want myself to an empty
anywhere I want myself to an empty house milk I drank so long I don't know
house milk I drank so long I don't know when I
when I stopped I told you it's safe now I got
stopped I told you it's safe now I got some
some milk
milk milk so we both drank too much milk and
milk so we both drank too much milk and looked around ah
looked around ah chickens he was a farm boy shc he killed
chickens he was a farm boy shc he killed each day a chicken and milked us a
each day a chicken and milked us a cow I used to dream about
cow I used to dream about chickens look I found clothes upstairs
chickens look I found clothes upstairs we can throw away our
we can throw away our Stripes there I'm starting to feel human
Stripes there I'm starting to feel human again me too except I'm getting getting
again me too except I'm getting getting not
not nauseous our summer got a shock to eat
nauseous our summer got a shock to eat milk and chickens we got very sick of
milk and chickens we got very sick of diarrhea we lay a few days in bad shape
diarrhea we lay a few days in bad shape shape until the Americans came hands up
shape until the Americans came hands up identify
identify yourselves I told everything how we
yourselves I told everything how we survived to
survived to hear and from DEA we came over to train
hear and from DEA we came over to train to that's just my men signaling that
to that's just my men signaling that they found the cache of the German ammo
they found the cache of the German ammo those crows can't hurt you anymore the
those crows can't hurt you anymore the only ones left are dead or dying this
only ones left are dead or dying this house will be part of our base camp but
house will be part of our base camp but I guess you boys can stay if you want to
I guess you boys can stay if you want to keep the joint clean make our beds
keep the joint clean make our beds want some
want some chocolate maybe for later thank
chocolate maybe for later thank you so we work for the Americans and
you so we work for the Americans and they like me that I can speak English
they like me that I can speak English thanks for the shine Willie it's okay
thanks for the shine Willie it's okay Sergeant don't even mention they gave us
Sergeant don't even mention they gave us food cans and gifts and called me Willie
food cans and gifts and called me Willie one time it came a woman with officials
one time it came a woman with officials to the house arrest those two Jewish
to the house arrest those two Jewish thieves they stole my husband's clothes
thieves they stole my husband's clothes we never looked on what clothes we took
we never looked on what clothes we took robbers you'll have to give them back
robbers you'll have to give them back Willie so let her take I told we have
Willie so let her take I told we have still three full
still three full valleys look on the time we have to
valleys look on the time we have to hurry now with my
hurry now with my windows but before I forget I put here a
windows but before I forget I put here a box what you'll be happy to see I
box what you'll be happy to see I thought I lost it but you see how I
thought I lost it but you see how I saved mom's
saved mom's Diaries no no on those it's no more to
Diaries no no on those it's no more to speak those it's gone finished but below
speak those it's gone finished but below my closet I find these snapshots some
my closet I find these snapshots some still from Poland thanks come you look
still from Poland thanks come you look after the
after the windows is this Uncle
windows is this Uncle Herman yeah he was Anna's oldest brother
Herman yeah he was Anna's oldest brother he ran in lods the family hosery
he ran in lods the family hosery Factory in 1939 he and hila came to see
Factory in 1939 he and hila came to see the world fair and stayed here the war
the world fair and stayed here the war and 1950 you were a baby he came also
and 1950 you were a baby he came also here from Stockholm to his
here from Stockholm to his house I like better to stay in Sweden I
house I like better to stay in Sweden I had again a good business but Anna
had again a good business but Anna insisted to be with the only surviving
insisted to be with the only surviving one of all her family and oi when Herman
one of all her family and oi when Herman died from that hidden run driver in 1964
died from that hidden run driver in 1964 Anna started then also to die a
Anna started then also to die a little so here it's their two kids LC
little so here it's their two kids LC and lunia what stayed by us in svak in
and lunia what stayed by us in svak in the
the war Buck you know he then came out alive
war Buck you know he then came out alive from ashz so now he's an engineer and a
from ashz so now he's an engineer and a big shot college
big shot college professor the little girl she finished
professor the little girl she finished with Ru in the
with Ru in the ghetto this brother of Anna Yosef he was
ghetto this brother of Anna Yosef he was a sign painter a commercial artist
a sign painter a commercial artist always she said you resemble he had in
always she said you resemble he had in LS a girlfriend a beauty but she liked
LS a girlfriend a beauty but she liked money and nightclubs then the Germans
money and nightclubs then the Germans took away the factory from Anna's
took away the factory from Anna's family so he had less money and she left
family so he had less money and she left him and he killed himself the Middle
him and he killed himself the Middle Brother LEC he ran with his wife to
Brother LEC he ran with his wife to Russia when the war came but when he saw
Russia when the war came but when he saw how it was there he wanted to run back
how it was there he wanted to run back those who ran to Russia they put to
those who ran to Russia they put to Siberia as Traders but to smuggle back
Siberia as Traders but to smuggle back over the borders cost a fortune I sent
over the borders cost a fortune I sent some money in 38 when I needed cash to
some money in 38 when I needed cash to my factory he gave so now I helped him
my factory he gave so now I helped him come back to his wife's family to Warsaw
come back to his wife's family to Warsaw in Warsaw you know how it was if they
in Warsaw you know how it was if they stayed only in Russia they still now
stayed only in Russia they still now could maybe be alive Anna's parents the
could maybe be alive Anna's parents the grandparents her big sister Tasha little
grandparents her big sister Tasha little bi and Ru all what is left it's the
bi and Ru all what is left it's the photos what about your side of the
photos what about your side of the family my di my father and fella and her
family my di my father and fella and her four kids I told you got taken in
four kids I told you got taken in 42 Zasha and Yoda my younger sisters had
42 Zasha and Yoda my younger sisters had only one kid each and came with me into
only one kid each and came with me into the ghetto before they all died later to
the ghetto before they all died later to ashwoods Marcus my closest brother and
ashwoods Marcus my closest brother and Moses went to a camp to blacker soon
Moses went to a camp to blacker soon after I came out from the Army I sent
after I came out from the Army I sent them money by the Red
them money by the Red Cross I hid it into bread I wrote them
Cross I hid it into bread I wrote them this bread it's expensive eat very slow
this bread it's expensive eat very slow and
and careful I met after the war a guy he saw
careful I met after the war a guy he saw them die but wouldn't tell me how my
them die but wouldn't tell me how my other brothers Leon and panek they
other brothers Leon and panek they deserted out from the Polish Army to
deserted out from the Polish Army to lber in
lber in Russia a family of peasant Jews kept
Russia a family of peasant Jews kept them safe panek he married one of them
them safe panek he married one of them but Leon got sick doctor said it was
but Leon got sick doctor said it was typhus and he died of a bad pendex
typhus and he died of a bad pendex so only my little brother panck came out
so only my little brother panck came out from the war alive from the rest of my
from the war alive from the rest of my family it's nothing left not even a
family it's nothing left not even a snapshot these photos we got from ru's
snapshot these photos we got from ru's polish
polish Governor we gave our valuable things to
Governor we gave our valuable things to hold until the war is over but afterward
hold until the war is over but afterward she said all these valuables the Nazis
she said all these valuables the Nazis grabbed away we didn't believe but the
grabbed away we didn't believe but the pictures at least she gave
pictures at least she gave back can I take these home
back can I take these home yeah it's for you but wait I'll put them
yeah it's for you but wait I'll put them in an
in an envelope the cigar box I need
for you see my n stat helps me right away I talk too much I'll lie a little
away I talk too much I'll lie a little down um what about the storm
down um what about the storm windows alone you can't know how to do
windows alone you can't know how to do and I'm now too tired for this maybe
and I'm now too tired for this maybe tomorrow we'll do
tomorrow we'll do possible I'm too busy I'll come out
possible I'm too busy I'll come out again next
again next week then now we must do it
week then now we must do it I'll great have another heart attack
I'll great have another heart attack look you'll just have to pay a bit more
look you'll just have to pay a bit more for heat a few days
longer I'm sorry I made you talk so much pop so never mind darling always it's a
pop so never mind darling always it's a pleasure when you visit
Mouse a survivor's tale by Arts speleman part two chapter
part two chapter 5 winter want some coffee and she said
5 winter want some coffee and she said no I will not go in the gas Chambers and
no I will not go in the gas Chambers and my children will not you bet you know
my children will not you bet you know I've got over 20 hours of ltic story on
I've got over 20 hours of ltic story on tape now we were just about to finish
tape now we were just about to finish when he ran off to Florida
he hasn't called us once I hope he's okay Ma is down there maybe they met and
okay Ma is down there maybe they met and killed each
killed each other actually I think their battles
other actually I think their battles keep him going he's been a bizarre
keep him going he's been a bizarre combination of helplessness and maniacal
combination of helplessness and maniacal energy ever since she
energy ever since she left what are we going to do with flat
left what are we going to do with flat we sure as hell can't move out to Rico
we sure as hell can't move out to Rico park maybe he could move in here with
park maybe he could move in here with us are you nuts his can't take the four
us are you nuts his can't take the four flights of stairs it's the best thing
flights of stairs it's the best thing about this place besides what if he says
about this place besides what if he says yes well it's up to you he's your father
yes well it's up to you he's your father stop I feel guilty enough already great
stop I feel guilty enough already great that solves everything I wish he and mly
that solves everything I wish he and mly could patch things up and make each
could patch things up and make each other miserable again and my children
other miserable again and my children will not go in the gas Chambers so Tasha
will not go in the gas Chambers so Tasha took the poison not only to herself but
took the poison not only to herself but to our little
to our little hello Mala we were just huh what's the
hello Mala we were just huh what's the matter I don't know if I'm going or
matter I don't know if I'm going or coming your father is in St Francis
coming your father is in St Francis Hospital it's the third time in one
Hospital it's the third time in one month water in the lungs he didn't want
month water in the lungs he didn't want me to worry you but it's
me to worry you but it's serious W where are
serious W where are you in the condo I'm back with him again
you in the condo I'm back with him again though God Knows Why
though God Knows Why well look I'll call you back after I
well look I'll call you back after I call the
call the hospital hello St Francis can I speak to
hospital hello St Francis can I speak to Mr
Mr spiegelman he's a
spiegelman he's a patient what are you
patient what are you sure hi Mala the hospital says he's not
sure hi Mala the hospital says he's not registered there I know he just came in
registered there I know he just came in the door he ran out of the hospital
the door he ran out of the hospital against the doctor's advice he says he
against the doctor's advice he says he doesn't trust the doctors here
doesn't trust the doctors here it's crazy he looks like a
it's crazy he looks like a ghost he wants to go to his New York
ghost he wants to go to his New York hospital I think he wants to be near you
hospital I think he wants to be near you in case God forbid anything happens I
in case God forbid anything happens I can't handle this come help
can't handle this come help me
me Florida hey everything's almost packed
Florida hey everything's almost packed Mala the main reason I flew down was to
Mala the main reason I flew down was to help you know
help you know vadic Wild Horses can't hold him still
vadic Wild Horses can't hold him still so now now he's exhausted and me too
so now now he's exhausted and me too ooh hi pop how are you
ooh hi pop how are you terrible so weak so
terrible so weak so weak did you arrange emergency oxygen
weak did you arrange emergency oxygen for him on tomorrow's
for him on tomorrow's plane
plane uh-huh and I've got an ambulance to take
uh-huh and I've got an ambulance to take him and me from JFK to L Guardia
him and me from JFK to L Guardia Hospital I'll check him in while Fran
Hospital I'll check him in while Fran drives you home how did you two get back
drives you home how did you two get back together I don't know I got a call from
together I don't know I got a call from the hospital and felt sorry for him I
the hospital and felt sorry for him I won over I swore I'd never see him again
won over I swore I'd never see him again but I'm just a sucker he talked until I
but I'm just a sucker he talked until I was blue in the face and here I am Mala
was blue in the face and here I am Mala Mala come
Mala come quick Anna must have been a saint no
quick Anna must have been a saint no wonder she killed
wonder she killed herself he's calling
herself he's calling you it's just this stool
you it's just this stool he wants me to check it before he'll
he wants me to check it before he'll flush he's as difficult as
flush he's as difficult as ever but now he's more confused
ever but now he's more confused independent what can I do he trapped
independent what can I do he trapped me next morning at last we're
me next morning at last we're done yeah 1 hour to pack and 4 hours for
done yeah 1 hour to pack and 4 hours for blanck to unpack and we for it all I'm
blanck to unpack and we for it all I'm dizzy now let's go sit in the fresh air
dizzy now let's go sit in the fresh air you go I need to call my brother Leo and
you go I need to call my brother Leo and say goodbye before we
say goodbye before we leave whoosh a few years ago I went
leave whoosh a few years ago I went outside here to buy for Mala Bagles I
outside here to buy for Mala Bagles I got dizzy so like now I grabbed to a
got dizzy so like now I grabbed to a bush and I
bush and I fell I craw to the side so people can
fell I craw to the side so people can see me but won't step on me finally
see me but won't step on me finally someone
someone helped ah it's good to get some
helped ah it's good to get some Son yeah just it's too noisy from the
Son yeah just it's too noisy from the high way an airport nearby look Ary you
high way an airport nearby look Ary you see in the sky that tiny airplane
see in the sky that tiny airplane uh-huh on such a tiny plane we went out
uh-huh on such a tiny plane we went out in 1946 from Poland to Sweden it was
in 1946 from Poland to Sweden it was maybe 10 of us
maybe 10 of us refugees we never went before in a plane
refugees we never went before in a plane but others were afraid to go but I went
but others were afraid to go but I went right away inside I said to them don't
right away inside I said to them don't worry let the plane crash at least we'll
worry let the plane crash at least we'll be out from Poland
be out from Poland why did you want to leave
why did you want to leave Poland it was nothing anymore there for
Poland it was nothing anymore there for us after the war
us after the war nothing we wanted here to come to Uncle
nothing we wanted here to come to Uncle Herman but here was
Herman but here was quotas so Herman helped us to have a
quotas so Herman helped us to have a Visa over to Stockholm to
Visa over to Stockholm to wait did you work there and now I worked
wait did you work there and now I worked hard
hard labors I lifted and carried all day
labors I lifted and carried all day heavy boxes only such jobs it was for
heavy boxes only such jobs it was for refugees but I was strong then not so
refugees but I was strong then not so like now and I Look to get in a better
like now and I Look to get in a better business one department store there a
business one department store there a Jew owned it I went to him I've been
Jew owned it I went to him I've been trying to see you for weeks but Mr span
trying to see you for weeks but Mr span we don't need any more salesmen besides
we don't need any more salesmen besides you can hardly speak Swedish in yish we
you can hardly speak Swedish in yish we spoke I sold textiles anderies in Poland
spoke I sold textiles anderies in Poland but I can sell anything give me some
but I can sell anything give me some something no one can sell I just need a
something no one can sell I just need a chance Hy H we're stuck with a warehouse
chance Hy H we're stuck with a warehouse full of unfashionable kneelength
full of unfashionable kneelength stockings but nobody
stockings but nobody perfect in the US Uncle Herman again had
perfect in the US Uncle Herman again had a hosery factory by him I got full
a hosery factory by him I got full length nylon
length nylon stockings these it was impossible to
stockings these it was impossible to find in Sweden you want my nylons to buy
find in Sweden you want my nylons to buy do I my customers will kill for these
do I my customers will kill for these they're rationed
they're rationed how much normal price but to each pair
how much normal price but to each pair you must take also a pair of knee legs
you must take also a pair of knee legs I'll throw them away but it's worth it
I'll throw them away but it's worth it and I sold out the whole inventory I
and I sold out the whole inventory I became so like a partner to this
became so like a partner to this department store and very well off when
department store and very well off when it came a few years later our visas to
it came a few years later our visas to America the store made a big surprise
America the store made a big surprise party you can still wrap up your boat
party you can still wrap up your boat tickets and
tickets and stay really I sorry to
stay really I sorry to go I made in the states a living dealing
go I made in the states a living dealing diamonds but never I had it again so
diamonds but never I had it again so good come we'll go now
good come we'll go now inside huh why we have lots of time it's
inside huh why we have lots of time it's too sunny maybe if you didn't pack away
too sunny maybe if you didn't pack away my sunglasses we could still
my sunglasses we could still sit late that night please remain seated
sit late that night please remain seated until our sick passenger has to plane
so there was a 6-hour delay before boarding then vet complains that the
boarding then vet complains that the oxygen unit isn't working and he can't
oxygen unit isn't working and he can't breathe the crew checks and says the
breathe the crew checks and says the unit is fine they say he's too sick to
unit is fine they say he's too sick to fly but we refuse to get off then ladx
fly but we refuse to get off then ladx says his oxygen tank is
says his oxygen tank is working and here we are I'm glad you
working and here we are I'm glad you called to say you'd be late they set up
called to say you'd be late they set up a free phone for delayed passengers m
a free phone for delayed passengers m called everyone she knows in America you
called everyone she knows in America you see I learned from
see I learned from btic a half hour
btic a half hour later finally fral and Mala must be home
later finally fral and Mala must be home and Drive by now they could have driven
and Drive by now they could have driven us to the hospital don't worry the ride
us to the hospital don't worry the ride is paid by my
is paid by my insurance excuse me he's sick but I
insurance excuse me he's sick but I don't think he needs a
don't think he needs a stretcher regulations buddy so where is
stretcher regulations buddy so where is L Guardia Hospital
go on Queen's Boulevard till I say you to turn
to turn right thanks Mister but please stay on
right thanks Mister but please stay on the
the stretcher buug Guardia
Hospital will it be much longer the tests are done you can wait
longer the tests are done you can wait for the doctor in there with your
for the doctor in there with your father how are you doing pop so tired so
father how are you doing pop so tired so tired
tired sorry it took so long but because of
sorry it took so long but because of what you told us about your father's
what you told us about your father's condition we played it safe we ran
condition we played it safe we ran extensive tests the pills you got in
extensive tests the pills you got in Florida are taking care of the water in
Florida are taking care of the water in his
his lungs and his heart seems to be doing
lungs and his heart seems to be doing fine you'll be glad to know you can take
fine you'll be glad to know you can take him home with you
him home with you what
what um if he's a borderline case why not
um if he's a borderline case why not keep him under observation for a few
keep him under observation for a few days there's just no need for him to be
days there's just no need for him to be hospitalized
hospitalized well the doctor says you're okay you can
well the doctor says you're okay you can come home now yeah then mall and I can
come home now yeah then mall and I can stay the rest of the year here in rioo
stay the rest of the year here in rioo park it's better if nothing is wrong
park it's better if nothing is wrong here near to my health plan hospital
here near to my health plan hospital then in Florida hospital for hundreds of
then in Florida hospital for hundreds of dollars a
dollars a day a month or so later Arty we haven't
day a month or so later Arty we haven't seen you in ages I needed time to get
seen you in ages I needed time to get over the trip from Florida what's new
over the trip from Florida what's new well we're going to sell this house move
well we're going to sell this house move down there I'm amazed blad agreed he's
down there I'm amazed blad agreed he's so attached to this
so attached to this place how's he feeling he's been kind of
place how's he feeling he's been kind of bliss it makes him easier to take but
bliss it makes him easier to take but he's not really doing too well he gets
he's not really doing too well he gets confused last week he went to his bank
confused last week he went to his bank and actually got lost on the way home
and actually got lost on the way home anyway he's in there
anyway he's in there resting so I hear you want to sell the
resting so I hear you want to sell the house yeah I want only
house yeah I want only peace if Mala wants Florida okay let it
peace if Mala wants Florida okay let it be
be Florida come and sit I'm surprised to
Florida come and sit I'm surprised to see you huh why I said I was coming when
see you huh why I said I was coming when I phoned you yesterday you phoned I
I phoned you yesterday you phoned I don't
don't remember I came to tape the rest of your
remember I came to tape the rest of your story if you feel up to it I need to
story if you feel up to it I need to know what happened at the very end of
know what happened at the very end of the war the war yeah this this I still
the war the war yeah this this I still remember you were living on the farm
remember you were living on the farm with some
with some GIS yeah with my friend shc so what
GIS yeah with my friend shc so what happened many refugees started to be
happened many refugees started to be everywhere so it came in
everywhere so it came in order headquarters is setting up a
order headquarters is setting up a displaced person's Camp you'll have to
displaced person's Camp you'll have to move there we all came over to garage
move there we all came over to garage Parton Kon name vadex beelman country of
Parton Kon name vadex beelman country of origin
origin Poland here we got identity papers and a
Poland here we got identity papers and a place where to
place where to stay hey Vlad come with me to Handover
stay hey Vlad come with me to Handover to see my brother he's married to a
to see my brother he's married to a gentile who kept him hidden he ow what's
gentile who kept him hidden he ow what's wrong I don't know shc I've got a fever
wrong I don't know shc I've got a fever and I'm itching all over in my throat my
and I'm itching all over in my throat my ears everywhere ah I was for a good few
ears everywhere ah I was for a good few days very
days very sick where am
sick where am I the infirmary you've had a relapse in
I the infirmary you've had a relapse in typhus
typhus I feel fine now see a doctor
I feel fine now see a doctor regularly we can't diagnose it but
regularly we can't diagnose it but something is still wrong a year after I
something is still wrong a year after I found out it was not only typhus but
found out it was not only typhus but also
also diabetes in this DP Camp I had it easy
diabetes in this DP Camp I had it easy hurry black we can earn some
hurry black we can earn some chocolates okay we speak English okay
chocolates okay we speak English okay shac he couldn't speak even polish just
shac he couldn't speak even polish just yetish
yetish we carried many goodies when finally we
we carried many goodies when finally we got our ID papers to go we want tickets
got our ID papers to go we want tickets to hand over
to hand over tickets I don't know if there are even
tickets I don't know if there are even any
any tracks that fright may be heading
tracks that fright may be heading North train stopped and started and had
North train stopped and started and had to change often
to change often directions look shc
directions look shc nberg I scrub streets here as a
nberg I scrub streets here as a p now it was only stones and
p now it was only stones and nothing we came to one place worb what a
nothing we came to one place worb what a mess where can we find water huh we've
mess where can we find water huh we've haven't had any water in 3 days the
haven't had any water in 3 days the Americans destroyed
Americans destroyed everything not one building was still
everything not one building was still standing we came away happy let the
standing we came away happy let the Germans have a little what they did to
Germans have a little what they did to the
the Jews we arrived finally to
Jews we arrived finally to Handover the kids can share one bedroom
Handover the kids can share one bedroom you two can have the
you two can have the other do you know where any of your
other do you know where any of your family is I'll go to Poland to see if
family is I'll go to Poland to see if anyone's left we planed to meet in SVC
anyone's left we planed to meet in SVC if we got
if we got separated I sent a letter to the Jewish
separated I sent a letter to the Jewish Community Center there for my wife but
Community Center there for my wife but she can't still be alive I saw her in
she can't still be alive I saw her in ashwoods last year she was so thin so
ashwoods last year she was so thin so weak you might get news about your
weak you might get news about your family at the big DP camp at Bellen Jews
family at the big DP camp at Bellen Jews are flooding in from all over it wasn't
are flooding in from all over it wasn't far so I went for a few days to Bellin
far so I went for a few days to Bellin one morning a crowd arrived in with two
one morning a crowd arrived in with two girls what I knew a little from my
girls what I knew a little from my hometown Jenny
hometown Jenny Sonia look it's bladex
Sonia look it's bladex beelman we just came from Poland we were
beelman we just came from Poland we were lucky to get
lucky to get out whatever you do don't go back to SVC
out whatever you do don't go back to SVC the pools are still killing Jews there
the pools are still killing Jews there remember the gers they owned the big
remember the gers they owned the big Bakery in svak one of the son survived
Bakery in svak one of the son survived and came back home what do you want this
and came back home what do you want this is my family's house I'm galber we
is my family's house I'm galber we thought Hitler finished you off go away
thought Hitler finished you off go away je this is our Bakery now he didn't know
je this is our Bakery now he didn't know what to do he spent the night in the
what to do he spent the night in the shed behind his house the pools went in
shed behind his house the pools went in they beat him and hanged him for this he
they beat him and hanged him for this he survived his brother came from the camps
survived his brother came from the camps a day later and only stayed long long
a day later and only stayed long long enough to bury him stop it don't want to
enough to bury him stop it don't want to hear
hear anymore just tell me did you hear
anymore just tell me did you hear anything about
anything about Anna I saw her she didn't try to get her
Anna I saw her she didn't try to get her property back the polls leave her alone
property back the polls leave her alone Anna is alive my heart jumped I couldn't
Anna is alive my heart jumped I couldn't believe Anna was all alone there in
believe Anna was all alone there in svak sorry Anna no news for you each day
svak sorry Anna no news for you each day she checked the Jewish organization and
she checked the Jewish organization and each day she cried she told me later
each day she cried she told me later she went once to a
she went once to a gypsy Anna knew it was foolish but
gypsy Anna knew it was foolish but looked only for some hope I see tragedy
looked only for some hope I see tragedy death you've lost your father your
death you've lost your father your mother
mother everyone yeah yes only lilc my nephew
everyone yeah yes only lilc my nephew came
came back I see a child a dead child Ru my
back I see a child a dead child Ru my little boy
little boy Ru wait now I see a man
Ru wait now I see a man illness it's your husband he's been very
illness it's your husband he's been very very
very ill he's coming he's coming home you'll
ill he's coming he's coming home you'll get a sign that he's alive by the time
get a sign that he's alive by the time the moon is
the moon is full I see a ship a fairway
full I see a ship a fairway place you will have a new life and
place you will have a new life and another little
another little boy I don't went a few times each day to
boy I don't went a few times each day to the Jewish
the Jewish organization but no sign came of me
organization but no sign came of me me she sat home even more depressed
me she sat home even more depressed until Anna guess what a letter from your
until Anna guess what a letter from your husband just came he's in Germany he's
husband just came he's in Germany he's at typhus just like the Gypsy
at typhus just like the Gypsy said and here's a picture of him my God
said and here's a picture of him my God LX is really alive I passed once to a
LX is really alive I passed once to a photo place what had a camp uniform a
photo place what had a camp uniform a new and clean one to make souvenir
new and clean one to make souvenir photos and I kept this picture always I
photos and I kept this picture always I have it still now in my
have it still now in my desk huh where do you go I need that
desk huh where do you go I need that photo in my book
photo in my book Incredible yeah so when I heard Anna is
Incredible yeah so when I heard Anna is still alive I stopped everything to go
still alive I stopped everything to go only back to
only back to svak I traded my things to have
svak I traded my things to have gifts look I got some dresses and a fur
gifts look I got some dresses and a fur coat to bring
coat to bring Anna you know if you go to Poland I'll
Anna you know if you go to Poland I'll go
go too we went sometimes by foot sometimes
too we went sometimes by foot sometimes by
by train to Poland many times it wasn't any
train to Poland many times it wasn't any tracks
tracks left one place we stopped hours hours
left one place we stopped hours hours and hours stay here with our luggage shc
and hours stay here with our luggage shc I'll go fill our
I'll go fill our cens I marked our train car but when I
cens I marked our train car but when I came in an hour back it was gone to
came in an hour back it was gone to another track
another track shc I couldn't find anymore my friend
shc I couldn't find anymore my friend and my luggage I had only my thin shirt
and my luggage I had only my thin shirt and my wife
and my wife shac went back to Hanover to find me
shac went back to Hanover to find me again but I went only straight to Poland
again but I went only straight to Poland it took three or 4 weeks when I came
it took three or 4 weeks when I came finally to svak I've seen very little
finally to svak I've seen very little Jews around but I found out where is the
Jews around but I found out where is the Jewish
Jewish organization there it was people that
organization there it was people that knew me look who's here somebody find
knew me look who's here somebody find Anna and bring her right away and
Anna and bring her right away and somebody found
somebody found her but
her but atic it was such a moment that everybody
atic it was such a moment that everybody around was crying together with us Anna
around was crying together with us Anna Anna my Anna more I don't need to tell
Anna my Anna more I don't need to tell you we were both very happy and lived
you we were both very happy and lived happy happy ever
happy happy ever after so let's stop please your tape
after so let's stop please your tape recorder I'm tired from talking with you
recorder I'm tired from talking with you and it's enough stories for now
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