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2021 Goals // SIDE HUSSELEN no. 17

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hello there and welcome back to the

closet historian and back to

science hustle and again my casual

diary-ish series

again i'm just going to repeat this

every time in the beginning of these now

i guess

um where i just basically vlog about myself

myself

so you know in the grand tradition of

youtube will fold

you know and i have coffee so

that's good it's not even like you know

a fake there

can you see there there really is coffee

in there and um i take

my coffee with honey like a little

drizzle of honey

and soy milk vanilla creamer in case

anyone's ever wondering

i don't think that's very interesting but

but

oh well this year's goals video has a

lot more

you know context and uh i don't know like

macro level thinking as compared to

last year where of course when i was

making my goals for 2020 i had no idea

what 2020 was going to be like

and you know like i i guess ever making

goals is kind of an optimistic

and like nice hopeful thing to be doing

because it assumes that the year

won't have a global pandemic so

it's nice that we used to live in a

world where we weren't thinking that

that could happen at any time

almost in some ways you know but at the

same time it would have been good if

that world also had a plan in case it

did happen i guess

which seems all of us didn't really have

a plan

did we anyway i digress so of course

thinking about my goals for the next year

year

i'm imagining that the year is going to

be on like

or at least i'm going to be on lockdown

for the majority of the year

still at least i'm thinking my

birthday's in the middle of the year my

birthday's in july

i'll be turning 30 here in 2021

and i'm assuming i'll be in lockdown still

still

by that time like i doubt that

the majority of people around me and me included

included

will be vaccinated by july it just

doesn't seem that organized so far so i

highly doubt

that the world will be back to normal by

then normally i like to go thrifting for

my birthday which of course

i didn't get to do in 2020 either but

you know fair enough that's fine i don't mind

mind

luckily as an introvert it just isn't

that strange to spend my majority of time

time

uh inside in my office in my bedroom

with myself i keep myself entertained

pretty well like uh i don't really ever

get bored

but we'll talk about that a little later

perhaps once again i have my

notes here just so i can remember what

my own goals are to be fair this again

like most my side hustle and videos it's

just a way for me to

um say out loud what i'm already like have

have

going on and buzzing in my brain so this

is just like putting into paper putting into

into

video which is like my form of diary i

don't really keep a journal or a diary

or i don't

other than in video form so it's just

kind of my way of documenting where my

head is at

at any given time and so i don't like

keep my goals

anywhere throughout the year i don't

have a vision board or

goals list or calendar anything like

that around me at any time so

this is kind of the only way i put these

things into a physical almost form

even though it is i guess digital but my

first goal for 2021 is

to sew less this

shouldn't be that surprising last year i

made way too many things

uh both in the sense that it kept me

very busy which is why i was making very

many things

which meant i didn't get enough um or as

much as i wanted to

reading and writing done last year so

because i was sewing all the time

but also because like i don't need that

many clothes in fact i don't need

need any more clothes um but of course i

i want to make new things all the time because

because

i'm a fashion designer what do you want

from me and luckily because my job i do

get to make things for that so i still

will be making a few things of course in

2021 probably

i'm gonna set a goal for maybe like half

as many things max

that i made last year so last year i

ended up making 61 finished garments

in 2021 i would like to keep that number

under 30. we'll see we'll see how i do

but in relation to this

like so less things goal i also want to buy

buy

less fabric i really only want to buy

fabric for costuming projects next year

because i have plenty here in my stash

for normal sort of clothing sewing and

just like regular

demonstration projects i have tons of

fabric that has been in my stash for

years that i would like to go ahead and just

just

do some stash busting and bust through

the kind of stuff that i already

have of course i don't have a lot of you

know i don't know silk taffeta laying

around as we know

so when it comes to maybe making new

costume projects next year i will have

to invest in fabric for that but other

than that i'm going to try and do like a fabric

fabric

low buy for 2021. i'm hoping i have

placed my last mood order

until my birthday that's my goal is to

not place another mood order

until i allow myself one for my birthday

this is

currently my goal we will see keeping me

off of mood

i might have to set one of those like

child like parent locks for websites

where you can block certain websites and block

block

mood i'm not proud okay if i buy another

cotton sateen i'm gonna be really mad at

me you know

i gotta use what i have and related to my

sewing far too many things in general

not just last year but

for the last decade i have um on next on

my list here

have a big closet declutter creation so

that is something i will be sharing here

on the channel

i'm gonna go through my closet and try

and downsize a little bit

again as much as i love sewing and

fashion and clothes and accessories

and like styling and things like that i

just think my wardrobe

thanks to my feracious voracious

ferocious ferocious and voracious

i'll put the word i think i mean here uh

sewing habits i have a lot of

stuff and there's just no conceivable

wave that i'll ever especially in lockdown

lockdown

but even if the world were to open back

up no conceivable way i could wear

really all the things i have like in a

regular rotation

and therefore i just need to curate down

to what i love the very very most

and sell or donate some stuff

just because i feel like my wardrobe has

bloated to a size that i just am not

super comfortable with um i again live

at home

i don't have a ton of storage space i

don't have a separate bedroom set aside

all for my

clothing and accessories i'd love to

have like a closet room one day in life

but it seems

a very far away so i need to downsize a

little bit more just so that things

fit into my life a little bit better and

sort of fit my

lifestyle at least the lifestyle i wish

i was currently living

even right now i think i have more than

i would need to even if i were as social

and busy

as i don't know my imaginary version of

myself seems to be so i'll be having a

big declutter

you will be seeing the process of that

because everybody the internet loves

that kind of video

so we'll be con marrying or whatever

real soon here now next on my list and i

realize now after having mentioned it in

my last side hustle and video and

getting a little bit of feedback um that

is controversial which i don't think it

should be but is is to get vaccinated

i'm super hyped about it it's one of my

biggest goals for 2021

i cannot wait to get vaccinated now

something to know about me in general is

that i'm a big fan of uh science and

also like

medical science and uh like advancement

in general like for example

modern dentistry huge fan i'm so glad

that i haven't had to die

of like a toothache it's pretty great

you know um people always you know

it's a very common question especially

for vintage lovers to get is like which era

era

like oh you belong in another era or

like which time period would you like to

live in

and it's like as crappy as this one

occasionally is

um this one because again modern dentistry

dentistry

and like refrigeration and the internet

which is my favorite thing

of all things i love a lot of things but

the internet wins

but for those out there who find my

fervent desire to get vaccinated

strange or unnerving i will go ahead and

link to a recent video by sostine

who goes over you know all the

information about the vaccine i think in

quite detail

because she happens to be a medical

doctor so if you don't listen to me

some random girl who does some sewing

sometimes fair go listen to someone who does

does

really good sewing and also happens to

be a medical doctor as well so

check that out the link will be below

and now next i'm on day two of

and it's already interesting

and that is to develop a better

relationship with instagram

um it's you know i don't have like a

problem with instagram i mean there's

some there's so many different problems

you can have with social media you know

um my issue with instagram my chief

issue i think is that

it's just distraction available 24 7 at

any time on my phone

so if i'm waiting for something to

download like waiting for footage to

transfer over i can look at instagram

if i'm having lunch i can look at

instagram when i wake up i

look at instagram for like a half hour

like on average every day i don't

actually i didn't have screen time

turned on so i couldn't see how much

time i was spending each day on instagram

instagram

but i'm sure it was like a couple of

hours not like

crazy numbers i don't think it was like

six hours or anything like anything like that

that

but of course i will never now know um

but i know i was spending at least like

a half hour in the mornings it was the

first thing i looked at when i woke up

and then usually was the last thing i

was doing was browsing instagram before bed

bed

for like another half hour probably at

least so

that's an hour of time i could be using

to do something else

during my day an hour plus of each day

that i could have back

if i weren't distracted popping on and

off to instagram all day

and of course instagram is designed to

make you want to

open it up all the time because that's

why it doesn't give you a chronological feed

feed

i'm assuming that's why they choose to

show you something new every time you

open the app like if you open it

close it and go back in a minute later

it'll show you something new so that you

stay on the app longer so you go back on

the app it's like designed

for that purpose so i try not to feel

like it's me

it's definitely the app is designed and

they like do

studies on like how to psychologically

get you you know

so i don't know between that and like a

lot of the new updates over there where

it's like

shopping first art last i'm you know

they're owned by facebook which isn't my

favorite company either so i'm trying to

wean myself off of instagram a little

bit and

for in order to do that i'm starting out

by this month

not going on instagram on my phone i'm

allowed to check it on the computer like

once a day just to make sure i'm not

missing any like

i don't know actually cool brand

opportunities or something but

or like my out of um i have a couple of

friends who live out of the country and

so if they're messaging me on instagram

i want to know

so i can reply to them but i'm not

checking it on my phone i've hidden the app

app

in several folders so i can't get to it

easily but i definitely have picked up

my phone several times already in the

last couple of

two days that i haven't had instagram or

haven't had access to it

and tried to open and realized it's not

there and i'm like oh yeah that's right

i just have to like sit with my thoughts

or something

but yeah i know this isn't very like

interesting anymore like doing a social

media detox of any kind because

yeah everyone everyone knows that social

media isn't 100

uh isn't a source of 100 good in the

world i think

um and even for me like i think my

biggest problem with it is distraction

as opposed to like um fomo things like

that i don't really get fomo looking at

instagram or i'm not really like jealous

of anyone else's like polished life or

anything like that

um especially because no one's like out

traveling and that's what i would be

jealous about

because i wish i was traveling but uh

really it's more just like i need my

time back

and there's one way i can like the only

way i can get more time in a day

is to find where i'm wasting it and

instagram might be one of those

one of those places where i might be

wasting a little bit too much time and

in relation to trying to reclaim

an hour plus of each day of mine next

year i want to read at least

25 books i've been doing so poorly on my

to be read pile

for the last while

and i would just really like to do

better at this so i'm setting myself an

actual numerical goal this time i want

to read 25 books

i want to read more than that but i'm

setting myself like a low numerical goal

hoping that i can hit that

you know sooner rather than later so

really i want to do 25 plus

books um it doesn't have to be fiction

or non-fiction or anything like i just

any kind of book

i think people like to do this vague

category um of how many books read to as

opposed to like pages read

because then you can read really short

books and still meet your goal and i'm

here for that but i just feel like any

time i

save from not spending on my phone i

would like to transform that into time i spend

spend

reading so that is one of my major goals

for this next year then one of my

biggest goals

for next year actually is a financial

goal another number based goal in some ways

ways

i would like to save a certain amount of

money each month and set it aside

and i'm going to try and pay off one of

my student loans next year

now like i assume many people i have

several different loans that make up

my student loan jet debt in general so

again i have like um

government like based loans that the

government will give you to help you

get you get your studies here in the us

um so i have government loans which

are one thing and then i have private

loans i only have one

actually private loan that's in my name

and my government loans are actually

still the majority of my student loan debt

debt

but i would like to try and pay off my

private loan

this next year i'm not going anywhere

i'm not supposed to be buying fabric

i need to be on like a low buy in

general i'm not spending money on travel

i'm not spending money on going out to dinner

dinner

things like that so i really want to try

and set aside a certain amount each

month and try

and like i've been paying this loan for

since i graduated university so for

several years now

so it's um about i would say it's still

over like half the principle is left i

think uh total

but i want to just pay off the whole

thing which is like several thousand dollars

dollars

um which is a big goal for me to have

i'm not i've never i've actually spoken

about this a little bit here on citizen

4 but i'm like

i'm not the best at finances i didn't uh

you know it's not something i learned

or necessarily always had modeled for me um

saving is not something i really like

grew up

knowing about um so it's definitely like

a newer concept to me

of like financial literacy is not

something i necessarily have i guess is

what i'm trying to say

but i i've spoken about this definitely

a lot here on saturday and it's like i

feel a lot of

guilt and like uh burden about my

student loans

uh i find them rather anxiety inducing

just knowing

that you know ever since i've started

trying to be an adult

on my own after university really i'm

not that i wasn't making attempts at

adulting during university

where i finally didn't live here for a

little while it did happen for a brief moment

moment

and the biggest plus of living at home

and not having a huge

burden like rent to pay each month means

that i should be able to

be paying down my loans but i just

haven't had a stable enough

stable enough job and income until now

and funny enough

the internet and youtube is a more

stable job than any i've been able to

get out there in the real world

since graduating college so now that i

finally have a somewhat

stable situation and a job i'm really

happy in and it's not like

you know i've had jobs before where i'm

like okay the pay is okay but i clearly

don't want to stay here which is

not how i feel about youtube i would

love to stay here i would love to grow and

and

hopefully thrive here online so

i'm feeling a little bit more stability

in that if i can just keep up

what i have now um then hopefully i will

be able to

get rid of this one boulder i feel like

i'm carrying

um i just feel and i i feel like this

for myself and also for other people

that like

it's hard to feel

hope it's hard to be super excited about

your future when you already feel like

you have

this huge like thing hanging over you

and so

sorry mascara um to not

have that debt i don't know what it's

like to be an adult who doesn't

who's not already in debt like i just

don't even know ever since i was a kid

ever since i was 18 and took out my

first student loans

because that's what everybody did i've

had debt

hanging over me and i just would love to

know what it was like to have

less of that so my goal for this next

year my biggest goal probably of the

year honestly is

to pay off one of my loans so i'm really hoping

hoping

that i can do that of course only you

watching these videos

and my patrons supporting me can make

that possible and me holding up my end

of the deal and making

great content for you all um is going to

make that possible

it just also would open up more

opportunities for me because i always feel

feel

like almost bad about spending money on anything

anything

other than my debt in some ways so like

as far as like starting new

business ventures like investing and

having my patterns graded or in starting

an actual like

pattern company and things like that or

starting any sort of like

physical side to the closet historian i

always feel like

i should be spending that money to

paying off my debt as opposed to

starting new ventures

but if i didn't if i didn't have as much

debt i wouldn't feel as bad

spending money on like new things

hopefully that makes some sense i just

feel like

um it might be like it would be nice to

not feel

burdened by it all the time anymore so

i'm gonna try and eliminate

one loan this year is the battery dying already

already

yes am i gonna push on yes

is that wise we'll find out but in

relation to spending some money i also

do want to make another big costume next year

year

of course the cicada gown isn't even

technically over yet

but that the materials for that gown

were a big inve

was my biggest investment probably of 2020

2020

it's hard to say whether the cicada

project or my new laptop were more expensive

expensive

i did buy a new laptop last year i won't

tell you what kind or

it's like some sort of dell but i'm not

super happy with it anyway but it was

what the best i could do it was like just

just

when lockdown was like becoming a major

thing and i was like well i can't do

this without a computer so i went and

got a laptop

but um that was a big investment but

then also this kid again they might be

about equal honestly

and i've you know spent even more time

with the laptop so

very essential upgrade there but i do

want to make another big costume next year

year

i'm not going to give you any hints um

other than to say that i think we're

gonna be sticking with green so if you

don't like the color green as much as i

do i'm sorry

but as i've spoken about a little bit

here on the channel costuming um

is both something that i used to be very

into and i've never lost

really the passion for i just lost the

kind of motivation for a little while

and the

funding to be able to do it but now that

i have the funding thanks to patreon

i do want to get back into costuming

especially because it seems to be

something that

all of you enjoy watching as well um i

enjoy making them and especially i'll

enjoy it now that i'm not going to ever

set myself that harsh of a deadline again

again

because when i tried to do everything

before halloween that was kind of a

mistake so i won't be making that

mistake again

lesson learned but i think it's both a

very fun and like

interesting challenge for me to dive

into doing costuming and it does very

well here on youtube it definitely helped

helped

grow the channel last year um october

was my best month in 2020 and that was

the month i was doing the costuming

project so

it is something that is like almost a

marketing expense for me

i'm doing costuming videos is like

better than putting out ads in some ways

like it

draws people to the channel and so they

discover me um it's good for my

discoverability i suppose and also

i have a fun time doing it so it's a

win-win really there so i'm going to go

ahead and make another big costume next

year as well and then we come to what

i'm going to be calling the

the post-pandemic goals which is to say

if at any time in 2021

lockdown ends and it's safe to actually

go out

into the world a little bit more these

are some goals i have for

for them and the first one of those is

to actually start taking language

classes i know this is something i could do

even locked down but i think it would be

nice to be able to get me out of the

house like once or twice a week as well um

and so it's much more of like a

socializing and like getting out of the

house kind of goal as much as it is like

me wanting to learn a language

i would really like to learn french

because i do have a little bit of

french already i took french in high

school but i would just like to actually

learn to properly

read and speak french or at least one

other language

and then just obviously i've already had

a head start with that one so we'll jump

in there

my second post-pandemic goal would be to

go on a road trip because i wanted to go

on one

this year but i did not get to obviously

or this past year i mean to say

but i did not get to of course because

it was not safe to do so although

traveling in your own car is about as

safe as we could get in 2020 but of

course nothing was open

and one couldn't leave the car much and

that's less fun so i would like to go

on a road trip once it's safe to do so

uh really i'm waiting to do this

until it's safe to go thrifting along

the way

i'd like to like take a road trip and

then stop at all the little thrift

stores and antique stores i might hit

along the way

i've never been to the grand canyon and

i've lived kind of in the western

half of the united states my whole life

and i've just never been so i'd like to

go ahead and

drive there now that i have a car that's

kind of safe enough to do so i didn't

always have a car that

everyone around me felt was capable of

making it that far and back but now

that i do and of course my car is when

you lease a car you're only allowed to

have a certain number of miles right

but in 2020 i didn't put very many miles

on my car

you know so i think i'm safe to go ahead

and take a road trip in that car when it is

safe to do so and then i would like to

go for a ridiculously

fancy dinner and i don't mean

necessarily that the dinner itself

needs to be fancy only that i wish to

dress incredibly fancy to go to it

because as we know

i've been making some evening gowns and

i have a lot of fancy evening stuff i

never get to wear so when

it's safe to do so i would like to go and

and

convince a friend to get really dressed

up with me and just go out for really fancy

fancy

dinner and drinks somewhere and buy

fancy again i don't mean like a gourmet meal

meal

i don't want veal or flan or anything i

just want to get really dressed up and

then lastly for post-pandemic goals

again it's going to be my 30th birthday

next year and i would kind of like to get

get

a new tattoo uh as kind of like a

birthday present to myself

but i don't know if that'll be able to

be something i can do in 2021

i don't really have an artist picked out

even or anything like that um

there are different things i know i

would like to have and i know some

people don't like tattoos on vintage

girls but like

my life you know too bad but i would

like to get

another tattoo if it is safe and

possible to do so next year

and then my last goal for 2021

i'm going to call it a soft goal because

if i don't hit this

fine i mean especially looking over in

my last side hustling video

what was holding me back from being able

to do this kind of thing last year

may still be a problem this year and

that is that i would like to write

another book um i kind of always would

like to write another book

it's kind of my constant state but i

would like to both prioritize and balance

balance

my work life situation to in a way that

makes it possible for me to spend enough time

time

writing to write another book and also

just to

i don't know give myself that time again

i've said i have a responsibility to

myself to allow myself to write

so that i can be my happiest best self

the best me the happiest me is the one

who has been writing so

i need to give myself permission to

indulge in it

because again life is only so long and i

might as well

spend as many hours and days of it

happy and feeling joy as i can and for me

i feel the most alive

and joyous and happy and like

hi almost when i have been writing and

so i just need to

go ahead and let that become more of a

priority in this next year

and it's my goal to finish the third book

book

or two i've i've started it in the sense

that i have the first chapter

and i have the last chapter and have a

pages of notes

but i would like to do some research

that i need to do in order to

feel like i'm ready to write that story

um and then also

go ahead and like kind of complete that

work and like tie

a bow on it for now so that i can work

on other things i was thinking about

this a little bit last time but

i would like to finish that story finish

my time with those characters for now i

might you know dip back in especially

because i have like

most of a prequel written for those guys

so i may jump into their

their past in my future sometime but i

would like to write the third book in

that series

i don't even think i'll have to finish

it in the sense of like having edited it

several times i don't really consider a

book done until i've edited it

all the way through a lot but if i could

just have the first draft

of the third book done i would feel

better about then going on

and working on new ideas as well and i

do have some new ideas that i would

really like

to start working on next year as well um

it can take me as little

time as like eight or ten weeks to write

a book

um so it's it just depends on things

falling into place

um but i would like to start working on

other ideas even as well next year so

that's kind of a big goal to say i would

like to finish a book and then be able

to start other ones but

that's my like soft hope and goal for

next year is to be able to

have that much time writing

and i've had people say on my lookbook

sometimes because i

obviously i like make small narratives

in some ways to go into my lookbooks and

i've had people say i would like read this

this

story i want to see the full movie um and

and

weirdly enough i didn't spend to be honest

honest

i didn't spend a ton of time working on

this story

that is in part part of the noir

lookbook just because i

didn't give myself enough time to do the

noir lookbook really so i wrote the

story kind of quickly

but i actually really want to expand on

that one

um and i think i could have a really

good time

writing that as a book so that's the

kind of other idea

that i'm hoping to get to next year if i finish

finish

the third book of my other series so if

i can finish that up

and kind of tie that up for myself and

then start working on possibly the

millionaire millionaire

the millionaire milliner which we can

already see

would be a terrible title for this book

because it's hard to say

oh well but yeah i kind of want to write

the millionaire milliner

so we'll see how that goes if i

get time to do that i really

i hope i and can stick to it i can can

be strict with myself and give myself

writing time this next year

that should be my biggest goal honestly

um it's that

and paying off that loan both would

alleviate a lot of anxiety for me

honestly because writing makes me happy

and being in debt makes me unhappy

but those are my goals for 2021

again it feels optimistic to making any goals

goals

and there's still very real chance that like

i could get sick or um anything could

happen but that's always true every

single year

um so i i feel like i have to keep living

living

especially not knowing how long any of

us gets the chance to do so so

for as long as i have the opportunity to keep

keep

doing my creative work uh making things

sewing things

designing making videos and writing

as long as i have the opportunity to do

so i feel like i should

again i feel like i owe it to myself in

some ways um

i don't feel like i'm owed that

opportunity like i don't feel entitled

to it

but because i have it i feel like i better

better

like take advantage of that and like use it

um i'm lucky to have the opportunities i

do the time i have

um and i feel like

i would like to put it to good use so

these are my goals

for how to do that for the next year and

again i've managed to go off on another

tangent before ending the video

thank you for listening and i'll see you

again here in 2021 bye

again another huge shout out thanks to

my conservator patrons

che karina ellen carol

lynn margaret maria nancy

rebecca rhonda singularity and tracy

thank you all so so much for your

support and thank you to all of my

patrons and to all of you who watch

these videos

especially these side hustle and diary

ones because goodness

and here i would like to reward you with

a small moment

of me with my cat in a sink um

i have a jack and jill bathroom so

therefore two sinks

um and one of them is just for her to

sit in honestly

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2021 Goals // SIDE HUSSELEN no. 17