0:02 oh dang Mom you just hit a police car
0:05 crap son don't say one word I'm doing
0:08 the talking in a rush today man I told
0:10 her she was going too fast but she
0:12 doesn't listen to me cuz I'm a kid son
0:15 shut your mouth Mommy will talk to the
0:17 police I like your sparkling badge don't
0:19 worry I'm okay cuz I was wearing my seat
0:22 belt ma'am you didn't use your blinker
0:24 oh I'm sure I did you must have not seen
0:26 it my mom don't use a blinker cuz it's
0:29 nobody's business where she's going oh
0:31 my gosh kid if you don't shut your mouth
0:33 I'm going to shut it for you kid does
0:35 your mom always talk to you like this oh
0:37 no sir only when she's been
0:40 drinking oh great
0:42 [Music]
0:44 Heavens hey son we're back oh hey Dad
0:47 what's up did you and Mom get my text
0:49 about what if y'all could bring me some
0:50 food back babe did you get a text oh
0:53 shoot I think my phone was on silent you
0:56 know what me too I'm sure that you
0:58 understand right yeah because the other
1:00 night you went out past curfew and I had
1:02 a mental breakdown about it you were
1:04 texting him right and calling and you
1:06 didn't get it because your phone was on
1:08 silent okay I get it yeah next time we
1:11 go out to eat we'll try to make sure
1:13 that we're reachable yeah so that way
1:15 we'll get your text your room's clean
1:16 for once see you oh great
1:20 Heavens hey y'all are grounded until
1:23 this house is spotless clean but
1:25 yesterday you said I can go to my
1:26 friend's house today yeah me too not
1:29 anymore not until the house is
1:32 spotless hello hey Grandma we're hungry
1:34 because mom won't feed us what she's
1:37 done for I'll be there in a
1:38 [Music]
1:43 second go
1:48 greatens son come here yes Dad I left
1:52 $10 million for
1:54 you Dad where is he I'm sorry to tell
1:57 you this but he's gone no not
2:02 today dad son what are you doing here
2:05 where did you keep the money I'm sorry
2:06 son but there's no money what do you
2:08 mean it was a prank oh great
2:11 [Music]
2:16 Heavens hey what's up Mom why are you
2:19 not studying why should I because if you
2:22 study you will succeed in life then you
2:25 will be rich then you'll be able to buy
2:27 a big house in a nice car and then and
2:31 then finally you will be able to relax
2:33 so what am I doing now oh great
2:37 Heavens I can't believe we did that I
2:40 know right good day gentlemen oh crap oh
2:42 hey officer we have been on a search for
2:45 two murderers oh really okay hold on let
2:48 me ask my
2:51 friend let's do it cool okay Officer
2:55 we'll take the job oh great Heavens I'm
2:57 going to need back up
3:02 [Music]
3:05 I don't know where he's at hey Mom where
3:08 have you been I've been worried sick
3:10 sorry Mom my phone died but I was just
3:12 at my girlfriend's house all night wow I
3:14 didn't even know you had a girlfriend
3:15 well I hope you behaved and there wasn't
3:17 any naughty business going on there
3:20 wasn't mom I was under the bed all night
3:22 she didn't even know I was there oh okay
3:25 wait
3:28 oh hey Dad what do you want name three
3:32 countries beside the USA that's easy
3:34 England Russia and China ha that's wrong
3:37 what how it's wrong I said name three
3:39 countries besides the USA I did no you
3:42 didn't England Russia China not even
3:45 close oh your son failed a test oh did
3:49 he
3:51 [Music]
3:52 what hey what shh
3:56 look follow me okay let's prank him I'm
4:01 down but what should we do um what about
4:04 that good
4:07 [Applause]
4:08 idea oh no you have a Miss call from
4:11 your mom what give it to
4:13 me she didn't call me yall scared me
4:17 what
4:22 the what the heck what's wrong nephew
4:25 someone changed the Wi-Fi password oh I
4:27 forgot to tell you I did it but Uncle
4:29 Fred why your dad told me to I was
4:31 trying to watch something I could tell
4:33 you what it is yes please okay so it's I
4:37 I one one two two four four q q wait oh
4:45 great Heavens not
4:49 again okay let me Photoshop this 30
4:52 minutes later oh Mom I forgot to show
4:55 you my report card it better be good oh
4:58 wow you got all A's yeah and you thought
5:00 I was going to fail I'm proud of you the
5:03 next day hey I'm going to have to have a
5:05 conference with your parents to talk
5:06 about your grades what really have them
5:09 sign this okay later that day Mom hey
5:13 sweetie I have to tell you something
5:16 okay what is it I murdered someone oh
5:20 you scared me I thought you were going
5:22 to say you failed your classes oh great
5:26 Heavens oh help there's an intruder any
5:30 last
5:31 words I baked cookies
5:39 what oh great Heavens ah he's hurting me
5:43 help any last
5:46 words Justice did someone say
5:54 justice
5:56 [Music]
5:58 oh
6:00 why you laughing bro what's up with the
6:02 outfit I'm actually taking people out
6:03 for fun really bro please can you take
6:05 me out too all right sure no problem hey
6:09 thanks big brother I love you I love
6:11 being a sniper it's so cool wait a
6:13 minute oh
6:16 greatens hey Alexa where is my Dad hey
6:19 son were you looking for me oh I didn't
6:21 know you were here your dad is in a
6:23 strip club in Las Vegas H Alexa's broken
6:26 my dad's right here Alexa your dad is in
6:29 a strip club in Las
6:31 Vegas oh your Uncle Fred is calling hold
6:33 up hello yo what's up brother man I wish
6:36 you were here in Las Vegas the clubs are
6:41 crazy oh great
6:43 Heavens ah someone help me any Last
6:48 Words My husband's not here what I
6:51 already knew that
6:56 hey oh great heavens hey son what do you
7:00 want for dinner I don't know you want
7:03 pasta chicken whatever you want oh
7:06 whatever hey babe what do you want to
7:08 eat for dinner um something delicious
7:12 okay
7:14 fine
7:17 rainb
7:27 rainb okay dinner's ready
7:35 [Music]
7:36 oh great Heavens oh great
7:40 Heavens watch this
7:42 guys yo I heard you brought your mom to
7:47 prom that's a good one but I think you
7:50 misunderstood I brought your mom to prom
7:53 hey sweetie isn't this
7:58 fun
8:00 oh great
8:02 [Music]
8:05 Heavens who are you who the heck are you
8:08 get out of my house or I'm calling the
8:09 cops you get out or I'll kill you for
8:11 trespassing trespassing this is my
8:17 house that's what you get for
8:18 trespassing my home oh yeah where's my
8:25 glasses
8:27 oh this isn't my house
8:30 ah stop choke me harder what any last
8:34 words I'm ready for my DEA appointment
8:36 your what appointment I'm
8:42 here oh great Heavens hey class we have
8:45 a new student named Steph y'all be nice
8:49 wa she's hot back off She's mine and
8:52 plus no girl will ever like someone like
8:54 you loser watch me okay I'm watching hey
8:58 step not not who's there where when
9:01 where when who my place tonight just me
9:04 and
9:08 you oh great
9:12 Heavens Mommy I don't like this be quiet
9:15 your dad put his Blood Sweat and Tears
9:17 in it oh where's Dad he never misses
9:21 dinner H I don't know wait oh great
9:28 heavens
9:31 [Music]
9:33 babe yeah I got to confess I'm not
9:35 really a virgin I used to sleep with
9:37 hookers hey the pass is in the P you
9:40 ready to get started yeah 30 seconds
9:43 later wow that's amazing here you go
9:45 honey you earned it what's this oh I'm
9:48 sorry it's from Old Habits there's your
9:50 change I thought you look familiar oh
9:53 [Music]
9:56 great hey you're cute um I'm not
9:59 interested you were ugly anyways
10:02 whatever who was that she's new here
10:05 she's cute don't waste your time she'll
10:07 reject you trust me we'll see about that
10:10 hey hi just go to my math class oh math
10:13 is so confusing it always talks about X
10:16 and Y but never you and
10:22 I
10:26 great oh please take my wife instead
10:28 you'll have more fun no any last words
10:32 just canceled my Wi-Fi okay my son
10:34 should be here any
10:38 [Music]
10:40 second oh oh I can't believe they're
10:44 still together after all that hey
10:46 language wait who who my ass cheeks oh
10:51 great
10:53 Heavens I should have used
10:58 protection
10:59 is this all yeah have a fun night thanks
11:03 what's that oh great Heavens hey what
11:06 are you doing here oh great
11:10 Heavens he's buying condoms oh great
11:14 Heavens I'mma catch you outside oh great
11:17 Heavens I'mma catch you right here oh
11:19 great
11:22 Heavens hello bro I screwed up my girl
11:26 went through my phone dang you got
11:28 caught no bro we got caught oh great
11:31 Heavens bro what do you mean we got
11:33 caught she went through the group chat
11:35 oh great Heavens she saw everything bro
11:38 I think she told your girl too oh great
11:40 Heavens I think she's about to call you
11:42 after they get off the
11:44 phone oh great Heavens you're so
11:47 annoying leave me alone hey stop yelling
11:50 at her but mom sister always thinks
11:52 she's like the boss of me well she is
11:53 old enough to be your mother no she's
11:55 not why wouldn't she because she's only
11:57 13 years older than me you know who I
11:59 really am uh you're my mom no I'm your
12:02 grandmother what that means oh great
12:08 Heavens hey Dad what's up are you smart
12:11 yeah I think I'm pretty smart all right
12:13 then spell it okay s m a r t no I said
12:17 spell it I did s m a r t no dad spell it
12:22 s m a r t no you dummy spell it it t oh
12:28 you know what with
12:32 help please stop stop please any last
12:37 words can I use the bathroom no I don't
12:40 know can
12:45 you oh great hey dummy oh my gosh have
12:49 you not learned from last time I'm not
12:51 giving up until I ruin your whole career
12:53 just leave me alone you're so dumb you
12:55 put lipstick on your forehead to make up
12:58 your mind okay and your year only has
13:00 363 days 363 days why because you don't
13:05 have a father's and a Mother's
13:10 Day oh great I hate
13:14 you give me the controller no it's my
13:20 game okay fine stop crying you can play
13:23 for a little bit crying Works mom I'm
13:26 going out with my friends wait for me
13:29 you're way too young that's not
13:32 fair okay fine you can come yes Mommy do
13:37 my homework for me how dare you order
13:40 me I'll give you something to cry about
13:45 oh yo dad why are we at the adoption
13:48 center because I'm going to adopt a
13:50 child so I'll have another brother or
13:51 sister yep wa hi how can I help you
13:55 hello I'm here to adopt a child that's
13:57 so nice what's your email
13:59 oh I can't remember let me give you my
14:01 mom's hey son do you know Grandma's
14:02 email yeah it's I love my grandbaby at
14:05 yahoo.com oh this email is already
14:07 registered oh really cool wait oh great
14:12 Heavens where were you last night I got
14:15 off work late I told you that no Daddy
14:18 was in the basement with the maid son be
14:21 quiet son tell me exactly what happened
14:25 they took their clothes off he's lying I
14:27 swear and then what then they did
14:29 exactly what you and the neighbor do oh
14:33 great
14:39 Heavens what's wrong I'm feeling kind of
14:42 nervous is this your first time yeah
14:45 it's okay don't
14:46 worry it's mine
14:51 too hey Dad what a man goes out in the
14:54 Heavy Rain with nothing to protect him
14:56 but his hair doesn't get wet how how
14:58 does he do it he uses an umbrella no dad
15:01 he goes without anything oh um a
15:04 newspaper just like the old days no dad
15:07 he goes without anything to cover his
15:09 head like why would he do that when it's
15:11 pouring down rain just answer the
15:13 question how does he do it he doesn't go
15:16 out that's wrong well would you go out
15:18 in the rain no dummy he's bald just like
15:22 Uncle
15:23 bread oh great I'll give you something
15:26 to laugh about oh great
15:29 ah why won't anyone help me any last
15:33 words I have a Miss call what from
15:41 who oh hey why is this house still a
15:47 mess yall need to stop being lazy lazy
15:51 at least I can get the remote by
15:53 [Music]
15:57 myself
16:03 why are you late my mom's in the
16:05 hospital oh my goodness I'm so sorry
16:07 please take a seat one week
16:10 later hey why are you late this time my
16:13 mom's in the hospital what still it's
16:16 been a week is she okay yeah she's a
16:18 doctor oh great
16:22 Heavens ah help stop I can't breathe any
16:25 last
16:27 words I got birthday money what I'll
16:30 hold it for
16:35 you oh Heaven oh let go of me help any
16:40 last
16:42 words dad hit me what I'm not your dad
16:46 don't hit my
16:50 grandbaby oh great Heaven oh my God
16:54 she's hot hey loser don't tell me you
16:56 think you have a chance with her if if I
16:58 make her fall in love with me you owe me
17:00 lunch money for a week okay Bet hi hey
17:05 are you smarter than a fifth grader I
17:07 think so yeah spell me m e you forgot
17:10 the D there's no D in me though not
17:17 yet oh
17:21 greatens hey son what's up would you
17:24 take $10 million $10 million I'm doing
17:27 it hold on there's a catch what is it
17:29 you get $10 million but a snail is
17:32 chasing you for the rest of your life
17:34 and if it touches you you die okay the
17:37 snail can't die and its only purpose is
17:40 to find you wherever you go are you
17:42 still taking the money Hey sir how long
17:45 does it take a snail to walk a mile a
17:47 snail travels at a speed of 03 mph so if
17:51 it doesn't stop it was approximately 33
17:53 hours to travel 1 mile how many miles is
17:57 half the Earth half of the earth is
18:00 24,901 Miles how long would it take a
18:03 snail to walk that far for a snail to
18:05 walk
18:06 24,901 Mi it would take 882173212
18:17 [Music]
18:29 oh email then oh great
18:35 Evans oh I can't sleep Dad what's up why
18:39 are you still up you got school tomorrow
18:41 because there's a scary ugly person in
18:43 the closet what are you talking about
18:45 Dad I'm being for real there's a scary
18:47 ugly person in my closet okay let me go
18:52 check what the oh great
18:57 Heavens hey son your mom said you got
19:00 suspended today I'm sorry what did you
19:03 do well I was in my English class and
19:06 the teacher said we're going to learn
19:08 about tenses and then she said if I'm
19:10 beautiful what tense is it in so what
19:13 did you say I said the past tense oh
19:17 great Heavens that was a good one son
19:19 act like you're crying I hope you
19:21 learned your lesson I did that I'm so
19:27 sorry hey hey sweetie hey Mommy how was
19:30 school actually I have good news really
19:33 what is it you don't have to buy
19:34 textbooks notebooks or any study
19:37 materials next year what did you want a
19:39 scholarship no my teacher said with how
19:41 my grades are looking I will be
19:43 repeating the same class oh I should
19:46 have made your dad use
19:48 protection hey do y'all want to
19:51 whooping y'all are being way too loud in
19:54 here I need y'all to shut up great
19:56 advice can you demonstrate for me how it
19:58 [Music]
20:09 Works hey what's up son what's up these
20:12 are the shoes that you wanted right yeah
20:14 those are them but why is there only one
20:16 shoe oh yeah your mom can tell you hey
20:19 sweetie we noticed you like to do things
20:21 halfway what like how you mow the front
20:23 yard but not the back and you did half
20:26 the dishes and not the other so you
20:28 understand understand okay I'll finish
20:29 the lawn and the dishes we know you will
20:32 did you get some more toilet paper cuz I
20:34 ran out oh yeah we got some right here
20:36 here you go are you serious bye you want
20:39 me to close the door yes
20:43 please see
20:47 you hey son what's up do you work today
20:50 oh crap do I I don't even know I'm going
20:52 to go to my job and check the schedule
20:55 make sure to take a picture of it dummy
20:57 at work work yes I don't work today I
21:00 can go home and play my game hey do you
21:02 work today nope not today but I wasn't
21:04 sure cuz I forgot to take a picture of
21:06 the schedule oh well have a good night
21:08 thanks you too oh wait what's up Steven
21:11 can't make it into work tonight can you
21:12 take his oh great
21:17 Heavens yo dad what how many numbers are
21:20 there on the clock that's so easy 12
21:23 nope you're wrong no I'm not yes you are
21:25 no a clock goes from 1: to 1200 I asked
21:28 you how many numbers does a clock have
21:31 exactly and there's only 12 nope well
21:33 how many are there guess just tell me no
21:36 you have to figure it out oh great
21:38 Heavens I should have used
21:40 protection yo what up bro I haven't seen
21:43 you in forever I know right how you been
21:46 good just school and gaining same do you
21:48 have a girlfriend yet no do you I have a
21:51 crush on a girl in my class nice I have
21:53 a crush on my teacher ooh is she hot oh
21:56 yeah which school are you going to again
21:58 oh I'm homeschooled
22:03 oh yo what up bro hey did you tell my
22:06 son happy birthday yet it's my son's
22:08 birthday what I mean shoot I need to get
22:10 him a gift wow I can't believe you
22:11 forgot I didn't I was actually going to
22:13 ask you if I can give him a doggy you
22:15 know what I think he'll love that cool
22:18 later that day hey birthday boy he how
22:21 was the gift Uncle Fred gave you it was
22:23 amazing
22:25 nice you okay where's the dog
22:28 I didn't get a doggy wait oh great
22:32 [Music]
22:34 Heavens hey class today you'll introduce
22:36 your name and tell us about yourself
22:38 starting with you my name is Jack and my
22:41 thing is I love to succeed nice okay and
22:43 you hi my name is Trisha and I also love
22:46 to succeed wow it looks like we're going
22:48 to have a great class this year and you
22:51 hey my name is SE oh great
22:55 Heavens hey class I'll be your
22:57 substitute teacher for today wao wo is
23:00 right your teacher said y already have a
23:02 lot of work to do so I'll let y'all do
23:04 that while I'm watching my soccer game I
23:06 kind of want to shoot my shot with her I
23:08 bet you won't watch
23:10 me yes can I get you a soccer jersey why
23:13 I really want your name and
23:18 number oh great
23:22 Heavens holy crap babe your house is
23:25 huge I didn't know you had money like
23:27 that I owe it to my fans I wouldn't have
23:30 this if it wasn't for them dang your car
23:32 selection is insane too thank you all
23:35 because of my fans that webcam setup
23:37 what is it for that's for my work oh
23:40 cool wait oh great
23:44 [Music]
23:45 Heavens mom why does it seem like I'm
23:47 invisible um who are you again oh great
23:50 Heavens the next day I got my best
23:53 friend here and we're going to rap a
23:54 song about my mom start it off bro
24:01 skir roll up drop that
24:05 [Music]
24:09 skir you never love me
24:12 Mom
24:15 but like I said yesterday who are you oh
24:19 great Heavens hey nerd don't forget to
24:21 do my homework I don't want to oh you
24:23 must be hungry for a knuckle sandwich
24:25 let's make a bed whoever can make
24:27 Angelica like first has to do their
24:29 homework for a whole week that sounds
24:31 super easy okay nerd let's do it hey
24:34 sweet thing hi I love you to the moon
24:36 and back want to be mine no your turn
24:39 nerd you don't have a chance um can I
24:42 tell you something sure I think I need
24:44 to cancel my glasses prescription cuz I
24:46 can clearly see me and you
24:51 together oh
24:56 forens why can't you come to to the
24:58 party my parents are making me babysit
25:00 my brother that sucks it's Halloween I
25:02 know but maybe after I put him to sleep
25:04 I'll sneak out okay talk to you soon
25:09 [Music]
25:11 bye what's wrong there's a monster in my
25:14 closet bro stop playing around and go to
25:17 sleep but there is there's no monster in
25:20 here
25:21 look there's someone on my
25:25 bed
25:26 wait
25:28 oh great
25:29 [Music]
25:34 Heavens hey I need to talk to you what
25:37 what happened I just found your medical
25:39 report which one the one that says you
25:42 can't be a father oh I was about to tell
25:44 you this when I'm sorry we've been
25:46 married for 10 years explain to me right
25:50 now or else I'm leaving with the kids
25:52 okay but first explain to me how you
25:55 still managed to have two kids with me
25:56 three kids
25:58 oh great never mind
26:01 exactly a stop I can't breathe any last
26:05 words you see my messy
26:08 room yeah so I forgot to clean
26:15 it oh hey doctor so how are my test
26:19 results everything came out okay but but
26:22 what you should probably stop having
26:23 kids because tin is already a lot um
26:26 okay I'll think about it what did you
26:29 name your newborn oh I named him Alex
26:31 don't you have another kid named Alex I
26:33 named all my 10 kids Alex what who's
26:35 going to remember 10
26:37 names but what if you want to call one
26:39 of them specifically oh then I call them
26:41 by their last name oh great can't ah
26:45 stop you're not the person I was
26:47 expecting any last
26:49 words baby daddy number two what another
26:53 one package
26:56 delivery
26:59 oh great grandpa thank you for bringing
27:01 me to the park of course grandson hey
27:04 old man give me everything oh no
27:07 grandpa call the ambulance call the
27:10 ambulance huh but not for
27:16 me oh great
27:24 evens wow I can't believe I can see the
27:26 moon right now
27:27 [Music]
27:32 whoa I can see the Sun at night I
27:34 thought it was impossible wait
27:39 oh hey class I'll be passing back your
27:41 test here you go thanks wait Mr Johnson
27:45 yes I think there's been a mistake with
27:47 my grade not at all that's what happens
27:49 when you don't study do you know who my
27:51 father is why did your mother not tell
27:54 you I'm sorry sweetie but he's your real
27:56 father hey oh great
28:00 Heavens hey Dad what's up spell roast
28:04 okay r o a s t okay now spell host h o s
28:09 t Now spell most m o s t what do you put
28:13 in a toaster easy toast really because I
28:16 put bread in mine oh son forgot to take
28:19 out the chicken oh did he what dang it
28:24 hey man is everything okay over here oh
28:26 hey officer my wife wants a divorce oh
28:29 I'm sorry buddy I know exactly how that
28:31 feels but trust me you'll get through it
28:33 well since you're an officer can you
28:35 arrest her she drinks a lot well I'm
28:38 sorry to tell you this but I can't
28:39 arrest her just for that but she's not
28:41 even 18 yet oh great Heavens you're
28:43 getting
28:46 arrested
28:48 hey I told y'all to stop leaving the
28:51 toilet seat up sorry Mom sorry Mommy
28:54 y'all drive me
28:55 insane keep rolling them maybe you'll
28:57 find a brain back
28:59 [Music]
29:09 there let's go that's my daughter right
29:11 there get it
29:14 sweetie Yo which one is your daughter
29:17 daughter that's my girlfriend oh great
29:21 Heavens yo what's up Dad what's up I got
29:24 a new girlfriend no way really yeah Bab
29:27 come in hello oh hi well you both look
29:30 cute together a few moments later yo dad
29:33 there's nothing to eat and we're hungry
29:35 H oh you should order some pizza good
29:38 idea oh my phone died hey babe can I use
29:40 your phone to order it yeah sure here
29:43 thanks oh cool she has Pizza Hut already
29:46 saved on
29:48 own wait why are you calling me when I'm
29:50 right here wait a minute oh great
29:55 Heavens hey y'all know what what day it
29:57 is happy birthday Mom Happy Birthday
30:00 Mommy well did y'all get me anything I
30:02 did here you go what's this jumping
30:05 cables yeah because you always like to
30:07 start
30:08 [Music]
30:13 oh great
30:17 hands hey everyone the food is ready I
30:20 hope you enjoy it thanks mommy it looks
30:23 delicious Daddy can you pass me the salt
30:26 please
30:33 oh great
30:36 Heavens oh great
30:39 Heavens I know it's not much but I got
30:41 you the PS5 what no way these are hard
30:44 to find and they're really expensive you
30:47 know I'll do anything for you baby
30:49 you're the
30:50 best wait but you don't even have a
30:53 job and why are you wiping your mouth
30:56 like that oh it's nothing babe don't
30:58 worry about it and what's that white
30:59 stuff on your face don't tell me okay
31:02 babe don't worry about how I can afford
31:04 it but we have a baby on the way just
31:06 shut up and be a good
31:08 boy
31:10 [Music]
31:12 okay this show is so funny I know
31:16 right oh shoot it's past my
31:20 bedtime yes he doesn't even know maybe
31:23 if I stay quiet he won't
31:26 know no not the
31:29 commercials please don't look at the
31:30 time please don't look at the
31:33 time what time is it whoa I think it's
31:36 past your bedtime buddy really I didn't
31:39 even know that's crazy well now you know
31:41 go to bed okay good night sweetie good
31:45 night mommy 2 hours
31:49 later what the what's that
31:53 noise oh my gosh oh no Mommy and Daddy
31:56 are in in trouble they need my
32:02 help don't hurt my mommy and daddy no
32:04 don't come
32:06 in oh shoot honey please go talk to him
32:09 dang it we were just getting to the good
32:17 part hey you all right son daddy why did
32:21 none of you have any clothes on well you
32:23 see son when two people love each other
32:26 they like to wrestle oh like WWE I mean
32:29 yeah like WWE waa can I play too no heck
32:34 no why well you see son that's incest
32:37 you can't wrestle with parents or
32:38 siblings what's an insect oh my gosh I
32:41 can't do this sweetie you just can't
32:43 wrestle with parents or siblings it's
32:44 just weird okay but mommy yes does that
32:47 mean you're weird why would you say that
32:49 to your mom well because she wrestles
32:51 with Uncle Fred all the time oh great
32:55 Heavens emotional oh damn it hey I'm
32:59 home hi mommy can I play games on your
33:01 phone sure here you go hey honey did you
33:04 go do your X-ray yeah I did how'd it go
33:06 it went really really good that's
33:11 good mommy Ray is calling you Ray wait
33:16 oh great
33:18 Heavens hey I want to go out right now
33:21 what no wait until after school I'm
33:24 sorry you don't have a choice are you
33:25 serious yeah oh okay well just come out
33:28 softly and slowly
33:32 okay ew March
33:37 farted Miss
33:38 Johnson what's wrong Jimmy oh nothing's
33:42 wrong but I saw you on the internet last
33:44 night the the internet where on the
33:47 internet how' you get stuck in a washing
33:50 machine Jimmy why why were you looking
33:52 at that video how' you get stuck in the
33:54 washing machine Miss Johnson there was
33:56 space
33:57 you could have back out Jimmy why were
34:00 you watching that video and then the
34:01 dude who came to help you wasn't even
34:04 helping Miss Johnson what was he doing
34:07 you just had to pull you out like
34:09 honestly Miss Johnson I'm not even going
34:10 to lie you look stupid like you look
34:12 stupid only 5 years old why would you
34:14 hey look who it is can you please just
34:17 leave me alone for once what's it like
34:19 being so ugly what I heard that your
34:21 crush would never go out with you cuz
34:22 you're so ugly oh yeah don't you eat
34:25 your cereal with water water what
34:28 because your dad never came home with a
34:33 milk oh great screw you
34:37 momy hey I'm at work what do you want I
34:41 need you okay what do you need Miss call
34:43 I said I'm at work Miss call I can't
34:45 call right now miss call Miss call Miss
34:49 call pick up the phone text me what you
34:52 need answer do you know where the peanut
34:55 butter is oh great Heavens that's all
34:58 you wanted to ask me I've decided your
35:01 sentence I hope I get like 5 years it
35:04 might be more I sentenced you to eating
35:06 without YouTube and Tik Tok oh great
35:08 Heavens
35:11 no ah help this man's going to end me
35:14 any last
35:16 words help I'm being bullied what only I
35:20 can bully
35:24 him oh great heaven
35:28 hey I just got done talking to my friend
35:31 and her kids are doing good in school
35:33 why aren't y'all smart like them maybe
35:35 because their mom is a lot smarter than
35:37 [Music]
35:47 mine hey don't move or she's dead oh
35:51 crap hey before we die I just want to
35:53 tell you I really like you and I think
35:55 you're beautiful a me too you've always
35:57 been a good brother to
36:05 [Music]
36:06 me damn girl I like how you dance best
36:10 friend why you moving I'm not
36:13 done bye-bye oh great
36:16 Heavens hey Dad yes son what is an
36:19 alcoholic well it's somebody that drinks
36:21 a lot of poison and it tends to mess up
36:24 their mind oh like you see those four
36:26 cars over there an alcoholic would see
36:28 eight but Dad there's only two oh great
36:32 Heavens
36:34 Mommy stop you're hurting me any last
36:39 words what's your name Jack
36:47 why oh Mom are you taking me and little
36:51 brother to the movies I got called in to
36:53 work sweetie your Dad should be able to
36:55 take y'all okay hey little bro where's
36:58 Dad he's in the other room but he's in a
37:01 really bad mood what why what did you do
37:04 nothing so why is he in a bad mood then
37:06 his doctor told him if he had a
37:08 visectomy he wouldn't have no kids so he
37:11 did and then when he got home we were
37:14 still here oh great
37:18 Heavens okay class let's start this
37:21 attendance do we have a Jess it's
37:24 Jessica then we have Belle Emoji ah it's
37:29 Bella with an emoji duh then we have Li
37:34 it's Li Liam oh then we probably have
37:39 Logan no no no it's normal it's Logan
37:42 are you lying no it's Logan finally then
37:45 we have Benjamin no it's Benjamin
37:51 oh
37:54 hey why do y'all always forget to take
37:56 the chicken out y'all need to be more
37:58 like me because I would never forget
38:02 anything what's so funny that's cap you
38:05 forget about me almost every day
38:07 [Music]
38:18 woman yo bro what's wrong I just had a
38:20 breakup what dang dude I'm so sorry you
38:24 deserve better bro oh they were so good
38:26 to me but you're right maybe one day
38:28 I'll find someone better you will don't
38:30 worry later that day hey I'm
38:34 home yo Uncle Fred what happened to you
38:37 hey kiddo I'm just going through a
38:38 breakup he just wasn't for me dang you
38:41 too what a coincidence wait oh great
38:46 Heavens I don't trust any of your
38:49 friends what's wrong with my friends why
38:50 don't you trust them I'll show you let's
38:52 call Chris what's the point of this
38:55 you'll see
38:57 hello hey is Jay with you yeah why he's
39:00 not answering his phone can I talk to
39:02 him no he's helping my dad fix something
39:05 right now hm all right well thank you um
39:08 is that all you needed yeah all right
39:11 have a good day you too by Chris Point
39:14 proven oh great Heavens hey Dad yes I
39:17 accidentally crashed your new car you
39:19 did
39:21 what oh it's okay it was an accident
39:24 really yeah you want to go to the
39:26 parking play catch sure okay 30 minutes
39:30 later dad which Park are we going to
39:33 there's a new one nearby just follow me
39:35 okay 10 minutes later Dad it's getting
39:38 dark I'm kind of scared how do you think
39:40 I'll feel walking back alone oh great
39:46 Heavens stop oh you're so strong and
39:48 handsome that's not going to work any
39:51 last
39:52 words I got McDonald's what
39:58 [Music]
40:01 oh whoa whoa what are you doing you're
40:04 going too fast mom I'm going 36 on a 35
40:08 um do you not see that stop sign coming
40:09 up yeah Mom it's still pretty far away I
40:12 think you need glasses mom I see it
40:15 don't worry well slow down come on
40:18 Slowpoke move out the
40:21 way
40:25 finally
40:29 mom be careful there's a stop
40:31 sign no cop no stop oh great Heavens ah
40:35 there's a guy choking me hell any last
40:38 words I bought 20,000 v-bucks without
40:41 asking why does that matter I used his
40:44 credit
40:48 card
40:50 oh yo bro who's that who ilila she's the
40:54 most popular girl here you don't you
40:56 don't have any ribs to get her oh really
40:59 watch me don't say I told you so hey hi
41:02 you remind me of the 20 letters of the
41:04 alphabet um there's 26 letters in the
41:07 alphabet oh my bad how could I forget
41:09 the u r a QT that was clever but that's
41:14 still only 25 letters I'm sorry silly me
41:17 you can get the D
41:23 later oh great evens
41:29 [Music]
41:36 wait a minute oh great
41:44 Heavens hey Mommy I'm home what
41:52 the I'm sorry Mom she needed
41:55 help
41:58 wait a minute oh great
42:04 Heavens yo look brother holy crap that's
42:07 a lot bro yeah I know can I give some to
42:09 your son sure it's up to you cool 30
42:12 minutes
42:13 later yo son how much money did Uncle
42:16 Fred give you what money he gave me this
42:20 oh great Heavens this tastes a little
42:23 weird hey son what in the world made you
42:26 fail your exams Dad give me a minute
42:29 this is serious we're talking about your
42:31 grades here I just said give me a
42:34 minute I know he's not talking to me
42:36 like that please get out I'm trying to
42:38 win oh okay sure I got to start the
42:41 mission all over because of you the next
42:44 day Dad what's up have you seen my game
42:47 oh your console yeah I've been looking
42:49 for it all over the house I donated it
42:51 to the orphanage home you did what but
42:54 why so you don't get bored there oh
42:56 great
42:59 Heavens hey who was on my laptop
43:02 watching stuff they weren't supposed to
43:03 be watching not me not me either well
43:06 since nobody's telling me the truth you
43:08 are all grounded Mom it wasn't us the
43:11 day you can breathe underwater is the
43:13 day I'll believe you well I guess that's
43:14 today
43:16 [Music]
43:25 look hey what's up Dad since you're in
43:28 here is it cool if my friend killed
43:30 people what heck no you didn't let me
43:32 finish my sentence Oh go ahead I meant
43:35 characters in his book that I'm helping
43:36 him write to make it interesting oh yeah
43:38 that would be awesome and cool hey you
43:40 heard that right thanks Dad yeah no
43:43 problem are y'all writing a cool fiction
43:45 book no I'm helping him write his
43:48 autobiography oh
43:50 [Music]
43:53 great yo I bet you $10 you won't make
43:56 mom buy you a MC flurry ha okay just
43:58 watch how a professional Works can I
44:00 have a large coffee please hey Mommy
44:03 what can I please have a MC flurry no we
44:06 have ice cream at home but we also have
44:08 coffee at home fine where is my
44:14 $10 oh great
44:18 [Music]
44:25 heavens
44:30 ah daddy mommy where are you not here
44:33 any last
44:34 words what comes after the letter R what
44:42 PG oh greatens hey Dad what's up say
44:46 silk three times okay silk silk silk Now
44:51 spell silk three times s i l k s i l k s
44:55 i l okay say silk four more times silk
44:58 silk silk silk what do cows drink easy
45:02 milk are you sure because I'm pretty
45:04 sure they drink water oh great Heavens
45:07 well Dad's going to go get the
45:09 milk ah somebody somebody please help
45:13 any last
45:15 words I left the toilet seat up okay
45:23 so oh great Heavens hey Dad Dad what's
45:26 up if a plane was flying through the
45:28 Pacific and it crashed where would you
45:30 bury the survivors oh I would find an
45:32 island nearby and bury them there you
45:34 would bury the survivors yeah I will dig
45:36 them all a nice little grave the
45:39 survivors yes the survivors where else
45:41 am I going to bury then Dad are you sure
45:43 you finished school cuz the survivors
45:44 are still alive oh great you grounded no
45:48 phone and no
45:50 game hey Dad what's up son I got
45:53 detention at school today what your
45:55 grand SED what did you do well my
45:58 geography teacher asked the class what
46:00 nation is her husband in okay what did
46:02 you say that made her mad I said her
46:07 imagination you're
46:09 ungrounded yo what's up hey how are you
46:12 man you've grown up so big now I know
46:14 right how's life it's been chill how's
46:17 your girlfriend uh I don't have one yet
46:19 I already knew that dummy I was just
46:21 reminding you oh I see how's your
46:25 parents doing
46:31 oh screw
46:34 you yo what's up bro thanks for letting
46:37 me come over yeah no problem Oh and why
46:40 didn't you tell me that you were dating
46:41 twins oh you heard about that already
46:44 yeah everyone is talking about it at
46:45 school that's crazy quick question how
46:48 do you know who's who oh that's easy
46:51 Stephanie has a piercing on her nose oh
46:54 okay and Steve has has a huge you know
46:57 what wait oh
47:02 great hey what did you eat all my Oreos
47:05 um no mom said you did well Mom's a liar
47:08 just admit that you ate them no why not
47:10 because I hate you you're the reason mom
47:12 and dad are divorced oh great Heavens
47:15 that was
47:16 mean okay I'll buy you McDonald's okay I
47:19 love you hey son what's up what
47:22 four-letter word begins with f and ends
47:24 with K and if you can't get it you can
47:27 always use your hands what come on son
47:29 you know no dad I don't yeah you do it
47:32 starts with f and ends with k um I don't
47:35 know Dad come on you're going to be
47:37 doing it with me Mom and Uncle friend
47:39 tonight oh no dad not again where are
47:43 you going the answer was
47:48 Fork ah that hurt a few moments later
47:52 okay Dad I'm done with the shower you
47:54 can use it now did you yell in the
47:55 shower yeah you okay I'm okay the soap
47:59 just fell on my foot and it was hurting
48:00 oh I've been there before it's way more
48:02 painful in prison dang really wait oh
48:06 great
48:08 Heavens hey nephew what's wrong you
48:11 scared my bad but why the sad face
48:13 there's this cute girl at school but I
48:15 don't know what to say oo I know tell
48:17 her
48:18 this will that work it worked on your
48:21 mom I mean some hot moms the next day
48:25 hey Mia
48:26 hi I accidentally bought Black Sheets
48:29 want to make them
48:38 white hey what did I do I promised I
48:41 didn't do anything this time I'm sorry
48:43 to tell you this but your parents were
48:45 in an accident and didn't make it what
48:49 no a couple days
48:54 later
48:56 oh hey
48:58 sweetie Mom where's Dad he didn't come
49:02 no wait a minute
49:04 [Music]
49:07 oh what you looking at I got the most
49:10 cutest boyfriend ever oh really yeah
49:13 look if you think that's cute you should
49:15 see my boyfriend oh is he cute too he's
49:18 an optician oh great
49:22 Heavens ah he's choking me help any last
49:27 words ah brother hit me what I'm not
49:31 your
49:35 [Music]
49:37 brother hey why aren't you hanging out
49:39 with your friends today I just feel like
49:41 chilling today chilling you've been in
49:43 the house all day you're way too young
49:45 for that go have fun with your friends
49:48 but I don't feel like going anywhere I
49:49 don't want to hear it go oh fine a
49:53 couple days later all right Mama I'm
49:55 leaving hold on leaving where to hang
49:58 out with my friends Oh no you're not I
50:01 haven't seen you all week but you told
50:03 me I need to get out the house more no
50:05 no no I didn't mean every night only
50:07 once in the blue moon this is your last
50:09 time go have fun oh great heav hey guys
50:13 this is my boyfriend what's
50:16 [Music]
50:19 up oh great Heaven ah please stop I'll
50:22 give you my wife I'm good any last words
50:26 son I'm about to press the letter P on
50:28 your laptop what are you talking
50:34 about oh oh this sexy guy is choking me
50:38 not going to work any Last
50:41 Words My husband's not home what I know
50:45 he's
50:49 not oh great
50:51 Heavens what the ah who are you stop any
50:54 last words words Mom Dad help
50:59 me I don't know who he is you can take
51:03 him oh great evens hey I thought I told
51:07 y'all to do y'all's
51:10 homework why are y'all playing the game
51:12 well it's the same reason why you wear
51:14 makeup every day why to escape
51:17 [Music]
51:24 reality
51:29 back it
51:30 up back it
51:34 [Music]
51:35 up back it up back it
51:39 [Music]
51:44 up hey you and Lisa killed that Lisa
51:49 who's Lisa I can explain it's over bye
51:53 oh great heavens my
51:57 bad please
51:59 stop any last
52:02 words you can come out from under my bed
52:05 wait
52:09 [Music]
52:11 what yo dad why did you call me Netflix
52:14 we named you after things we like to
52:16 watch oh so you like watching Amazon
52:18 Prime I do son but it's not my favorite
52:21 well what's your favorite thing to watch
52:23 well me and your mom named your sister
52:24 after that that oh
52:28 greatens hey Dad what's up does daddy
52:31 and father mean the same thing uh yeah I
52:34 think so thanks I was just making sure
52:36 at
52:42 church amen I love you Daddy oh great
52:46 Heavens oh great Heavens oh great
52:50 Heavens if you don't let me play I'm
52:52 going to tell mom your mom yeah you mean
52:55 my mom right what do you mean she's my
52:57 mom too dang he doesn't know stop I'm
53:01 going to tell Dad you mean my dad right
53:05 what hey what's going on here Dad am I
53:09 adopted of course not yay I knew it just
53:12 kidding we're still looking for someone
53:14 that wants you
53:16 oh
53:17 [Music]
53:20 emotional do you know why I pulled you
53:22 over uh because I was at the stop sign
53:24 for too long yeah why were you just
53:25 sitting there I was just waiting for it
53:27 to turn green well that's better than
53:29 going through it where you headed home
53:32 okay where do you live with my parents
53:34 okay where do your parents live uh they
53:36 live with me okay where do you all live
53:38 we all live together okay so where's
53:40 your house it's next to my neighbor's
53:42 house and where's your neighbor's house
53:44 you wouldn't believe me if I told you
53:46 try me next to my house oh
53:50 [Music]
53:54 greatens you have been accused for
53:56 murder and I hereby sentence you to 70
53:59 years in prison no wa really I'll take
54:03 it may God have mercy upon you later
54:07 that day wow that homeless guy today was
54:11 crazy wait a minute oh
54:14 [Music]
54:17 great yo son yeah what's up I just got
54:21 done talking to your principal and they
54:23 canceled school tomorrow why what
54:25 happened I'm sorry to tell you this but
54:27 I think your math teacher died or
54:29 something wow they found in the body
54:31 already I guess wait oh great
54:38 Heavens bro my parents are so mad at me
54:41 why because I got this PS5 for my little
54:44 brother what but why would they be mad
54:47 that's so nice of you that's what I'm
54:49 saying it was the best trait I've ever
54:51 made oh great
54:54 heavens
54:56 hey Mommy what's up sweetie dad's in the
54:58 bathroom watching that weird website
55:00 again of people wrestling naked what
55:03 honey I guess you want to meet MJ huh
55:05 honey
55:06 [Music]
55:08 what sorry sweetie your dad won't be
55:11 doing that again thanks mommy the next
55:15 day yo what's up brother can I have a
55:17 hug no okay well well well if it isn't
55:22 Mr loser where is my money I have it let
55:25 me just get it out of my pocket hold on
55:27 do we have a
55:30 problem no we're good thought so now
55:34 run thanks brother I got you later at
55:38 home hey which one of you stole my
55:42 money mommy yes it was I did it I
55:46 thought so now follow me to my room okay
55:49 thank you I got you bro say hi to MJ for
55:52 me
55:54 what
55:57 [Music]
55:59 dang it is there a problem officer yeah
56:01 you were speeding oh okay can I see your
56:04 license I would but I don't have one
56:07 what I lost it a few years ago drunk
56:08 driving okay well can I have your
56:11 vehicle registration papers please I can
56:13 why not I stole this car you stole this
56:15 car yeah and I killed the owner I need
56:18 backup sir can I get you to step out of
56:20 the vehicle please why is there a
56:22 problem one of my officers said you
56:23 stole this car and murder the owner
56:25 murdered the owner yes can you please
56:27 open the trunk yeah of course hm I
56:29 didn't see anything is this your car
56:31 yeah here are the registration papers my
56:33 officer said you don't have a license
56:35 here it is my officer said you didn't
56:37 have a license stole the car and
56:39 murdered the owner I bet that liar said
56:41 I was speeding too hey what are y'all
56:44 doing we're just watching TV yeah Mommy
56:46 y'all need to stop watching TV so much
56:48 and read more okay y'all heard her let's
56:51 put the subtitles
56:53 on
57:02 hi who are you oh I'm your sister's
57:05 boyfriend she told me the door was
57:06 unlocked OMG hi it's nice to meet you my
57:10 sister talks about you all the time
57:12 really yeah she really loves you she
57:14 wants to marry you wow I didn't know she
57:16 felt that way well I'm so glad to
57:18 finally meet you Brad but my name is
57:20 Mark oh oh great
57:23 heavens
57:25 hey it's y'all's bedtime y'all have
57:26 school tomorrow school sucks yeah can we
57:29 just not go to school anymore no it's
57:32 against the law they would put me to
57:33 jail don't worry I'll visit
57:35 [Music]
57:45 you hey Dad what I bet you five bucks I
57:48 can make you say no easy five bucks
57:52 let's do it okay there are three doors
57:54 red green yellow which door are you
57:56 going in um the red one ah dang it okay
58:00 in the red door you see three fruits
58:03 Apple orange and banana which one would
58:05 you eat orange nah nah nah you know this
58:08 trick huh no I actually don't know give
58:10 me my
58:12 money oh great
58:16 heavans hey Dad do you think you can
58:18 beat Siri in a roast Battle of course I
58:21 got some good roast up my sleeve okay
58:23 prove it hey Siri yo Mama's dumb she
58:25 tried climbing Mountain Dew your mama's
58:28 so dumb she went to the eye doctor to
58:30 buy an iPhone oh great Heavens your mom
58:32 is so dumb she bought tickets to Xbox
58:34 Live your mom is so dumb she cut open a
58:37 pineapple and said SpongeBob where are
58:39 you oh your mom is so dumb that she put
58:42 a battery in water to make an energy
58:44 drink your mom is so dumb she sued Xbox
58:46 One for guessing her IQ your mom is so
58:49 dumb she thinks gluteus maximus was a
58:51 Roman Emperor oh great Heavens wait I
58:54 didn't go yet yeah your mom is so dumb I
58:56 peed in the snow and she picked it up
58:57 and thought it was a snow cone oh great
59:00 Heavens wait you can pee your mom is so
59:02 dumb I asked her to count from 1 to 40
59:04 she counted 1 to 40 oh okay okay I give
59:08 up emotional
59:10 damage hi hi so what brought you here so
59:14 everyone in my family is like no don't
59:16 get a tattoo they're painful expensive
59:19 and permanent and you might get addicted
59:21 and want another one okay but then they
59:24 also tell me that I should have kids oh
59:26 great Heavens you have a good point
59:28 thank you Dad I just won a million what
59:32 we're going to be rich I knew you
59:33 weren't a mistake who's we I mean yes
59:36 we're going to be rich babe do you want
59:37 a glass of wine for celebration sure why
59:40 not 2 minutes later let me add some
59:43 poison cuz that million is all mine oh
59:45 yeah and I have to abandon my son here
59:48 you go honey thanks
59:53 babe
59:55 what's in this yes now I'm rich mommy
59:58 what happened to Dad oh nothing sweetie
60:01 he's just taking a nap yay I won another
60:03 million coins this game is so easy oh it
60:07 was a game yeah
60:10 why hey Mommy yes sweetie I drew a
60:13 picture of our family oh wow good job
60:16 son thank you I'll hang it on the fridge
60:18 for your dad to see when he gets home
60:20 from work
60:22 okay hey I'm home
60:25 man I'm hungry what's
60:34 this oh great Heavens hey honey if you
60:38 could cheat on me with anybody in the
60:40 world who would it be won't you be mad
60:42 not at all I'll give you a pass well if
60:45 that's the case I'll say Beyonce if
60:48 beyon wants to do it you won't get mad I
60:51 won't you're such an amazing wife who's
60:53 yours hm anybody in the world yeah I'll
60:57 say Chris Chris like Chris from your job
61:00 yeah why not you like Beyonce and I like
61:02 Chris that's not fair yes it is you got
61:05 one I got one it's fair but mine is
61:07 Beyonce when am I going to meet Beyonce
61:10 I don't know but I do know I have to go
61:11 to work bye oh great Heavens
61:15 bye
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