YouTube Transcript:
* 1 HOUR* Mark Adams TikTok 2023 | Funny Marrk Adams TikTok Compilation 2023 #4

oh dang Mom you just hit a police car
crap son don't say one word I'm doing
the talking in a rush today man I told
her she was going too fast but she
doesn't listen to me cuz I'm a kid son
shut your mouth Mommy will talk to the
police I like your sparkling badge don't
worry I'm okay cuz I was wearing my seat
belt ma'am you didn't use your blinker
oh I'm sure I did you must have not seen
it my mom don't use a blinker cuz it's
nobody's business where she's going oh
my gosh kid if you don't shut your mouth
I'm going to shut it for you kid does
your mom always talk to you like this oh
no sir only when she's been
drinking oh great
[Music]
Heavens hey son we're back oh hey Dad
what's up did you and Mom get my text
about what if y'all could bring me some
food back babe did you get a text oh
shoot I think my phone was on silent you
know what me too I'm sure that you
understand right yeah because the other
night you went out past curfew and I had
a mental breakdown about it you were
texting him right and calling and you
didn't get it because your phone was on
silent okay I get it yeah next time we
go out to eat we'll try to make sure
that we're reachable yeah so that way
we'll get your text your room's clean
for once see you oh great
Heavens hey y'all are grounded until
this house is spotless clean but
yesterday you said I can go to my
friend's house today yeah me too not
anymore not until the house is
spotless hello hey Grandma we're hungry
because mom won't feed us what she's
done for I'll be there in a
[Music]
second go
greatens son come here yes Dad I left
$10 million for
you Dad where is he I'm sorry to tell
you this but he's gone no not
today dad son what are you doing here
where did you keep the money I'm sorry
son but there's no money what do you
mean it was a prank oh great
[Music]
Heavens hey what's up Mom why are you
not studying why should I because if you
study you will succeed in life then you
will be rich then you'll be able to buy
a big house in a nice car and then and
then finally you will be able to relax
so what am I doing now oh great
Heavens I can't believe we did that I
know right good day gentlemen oh crap oh
hey officer we have been on a search for
two murderers oh really okay hold on let
me ask my
friend let's do it cool okay Officer
we'll take the job oh great Heavens I'm
going to need back up
[Music]
I don't know where he's at hey Mom where
have you been I've been worried sick
sorry Mom my phone died but I was just
at my girlfriend's house all night wow I
didn't even know you had a girlfriend
well I hope you behaved and there wasn't
any naughty business going on there
wasn't mom I was under the bed all night
she didn't even know I was there oh okay
wait
oh hey Dad what do you want name three
countries beside the USA that's easy
England Russia and China ha that's wrong
what how it's wrong I said name three
countries besides the USA I did no you
didn't England Russia China not even
close oh your son failed a test oh did
he
[Music]
what hey what shh
look follow me okay let's prank him I'm
down but what should we do um what about
that good
[Applause]
idea oh no you have a Miss call from
your mom what give it to
me she didn't call me yall scared me
what
the what the heck what's wrong nephew
someone changed the Wi-Fi password oh I
forgot to tell you I did it but Uncle
Fred why your dad told me to I was
trying to watch something I could tell
you what it is yes please okay so it's I
I one one two two four four q q wait oh
great Heavens not
again okay let me Photoshop this 30
minutes later oh Mom I forgot to show
you my report card it better be good oh
wow you got all A's yeah and you thought
I was going to fail I'm proud of you the
next day hey I'm going to have to have a
conference with your parents to talk
about your grades what really have them
sign this okay later that day Mom hey
sweetie I have to tell you something
okay what is it I murdered someone oh
you scared me I thought you were going
to say you failed your classes oh great
Heavens oh help there's an intruder any
last
words I baked cookies
what oh great Heavens ah he's hurting me
help any last
words Justice did someone say
justice
[Music]
oh
why you laughing bro what's up with the
outfit I'm actually taking people out
for fun really bro please can you take
me out too all right sure no problem hey
thanks big brother I love you I love
being a sniper it's so cool wait a
minute oh
greatens hey Alexa where is my Dad hey
son were you looking for me oh I didn't
know you were here your dad is in a
strip club in Las Vegas H Alexa's broken
my dad's right here Alexa your dad is in
a strip club in Las
Vegas oh your Uncle Fred is calling hold
up hello yo what's up brother man I wish
you were here in Las Vegas the clubs are
crazy oh great
Heavens ah someone help me any Last
Words My husband's not here what I
already knew that
hey oh great heavens hey son what do you
want for dinner I don't know you want
pasta chicken whatever you want oh
whatever hey babe what do you want to
eat for dinner um something delicious
okay
fine
rainb
rainb okay dinner's ready
[Music]
oh great Heavens oh great
Heavens watch this
guys yo I heard you brought your mom to
prom that's a good one but I think you
misunderstood I brought your mom to prom
hey sweetie isn't this
fun
oh great
[Music]
Heavens who are you who the heck are you
get out of my house or I'm calling the
cops you get out or I'll kill you for
trespassing trespassing this is my
house that's what you get for
trespassing my home oh yeah where's my
glasses
oh this isn't my house
ah stop choke me harder what any last
words I'm ready for my DEA appointment
your what appointment I'm
here oh great Heavens hey class we have
a new student named Steph y'all be nice
wa she's hot back off She's mine and
plus no girl will ever like someone like
you loser watch me okay I'm watching hey
step not not who's there where when
where when who my place tonight just me
and
you oh great
Heavens Mommy I don't like this be quiet
your dad put his Blood Sweat and Tears
in it oh where's Dad he never misses
dinner H I don't know wait oh great
heavens
[Music]
babe yeah I got to confess I'm not
really a virgin I used to sleep with
hookers hey the pass is in the P you
ready to get started yeah 30 seconds
later wow that's amazing here you go
honey you earned it what's this oh I'm
sorry it's from Old Habits there's your
change I thought you look familiar oh
[Music]
great hey you're cute um I'm not
interested you were ugly anyways
whatever who was that she's new here
she's cute don't waste your time she'll
reject you trust me we'll see about that
hey hi just go to my math class oh math
is so confusing it always talks about X
and Y but never you and
I
great oh please take my wife instead
you'll have more fun no any last words
just canceled my Wi-Fi okay my son
should be here any
[Music]
second oh oh I can't believe they're
still together after all that hey
language wait who who my ass cheeks oh
great
Heavens I should have used
protection
is this all yeah have a fun night thanks
what's that oh great Heavens hey what
are you doing here oh great
Heavens he's buying condoms oh great
Heavens I'mma catch you outside oh great
Heavens I'mma catch you right here oh
great
Heavens hello bro I screwed up my girl
went through my phone dang you got
caught no bro we got caught oh great
Heavens bro what do you mean we got
caught she went through the group chat
oh great Heavens she saw everything bro
I think she told your girl too oh great
Heavens I think she's about to call you
after they get off the
phone oh great Heavens you're so
annoying leave me alone hey stop yelling
at her but mom sister always thinks
she's like the boss of me well she is
old enough to be your mother no she's
not why wouldn't she because she's only
13 years older than me you know who I
really am uh you're my mom no I'm your
grandmother what that means oh great
Heavens hey Dad what's up are you smart
yeah I think I'm pretty smart all right
then spell it okay s m a r t no I said
spell it I did s m a r t no dad spell it
s m a r t no you dummy spell it it t oh
you know what with
help please stop stop please any last
words can I use the bathroom no I don't
know can
you oh great hey dummy oh my gosh have
you not learned from last time I'm not
giving up until I ruin your whole career
just leave me alone you're so dumb you
put lipstick on your forehead to make up
your mind okay and your year only has
363 days 363 days why because you don't
have a father's and a Mother's
Day oh great I hate
you give me the controller no it's my
game okay fine stop crying you can play
for a little bit crying Works mom I'm
going out with my friends wait for me
you're way too young that's not
fair okay fine you can come yes Mommy do
my homework for me how dare you order
me I'll give you something to cry about
oh yo dad why are we at the adoption
center because I'm going to adopt a
child so I'll have another brother or
sister yep wa hi how can I help you
hello I'm here to adopt a child that's
so nice what's your email
oh I can't remember let me give you my
mom's hey son do you know Grandma's
email yeah it's I love my grandbaby at
yahoo.com oh this email is already
registered oh really cool wait oh great
Heavens where were you last night I got
off work late I told you that no Daddy
was in the basement with the maid son be
quiet son tell me exactly what happened
they took their clothes off he's lying I
swear and then what then they did
exactly what you and the neighbor do oh
great
Heavens what's wrong I'm feeling kind of
nervous is this your first time yeah
it's okay don't
worry it's mine
too hey Dad what a man goes out in the
Heavy Rain with nothing to protect him
but his hair doesn't get wet how how
does he do it he uses an umbrella no dad
he goes without anything oh um a
newspaper just like the old days no dad
he goes without anything to cover his
head like why would he do that when it's
pouring down rain just answer the
question how does he do it he doesn't go
out that's wrong well would you go out
in the rain no dummy he's bald just like
Uncle
bread oh great I'll give you something
to laugh about oh great
ah why won't anyone help me any last
words I have a Miss call what from
who oh hey why is this house still a
mess yall need to stop being lazy lazy
at least I can get the remote by
[Music]
myself
why are you late my mom's in the
hospital oh my goodness I'm so sorry
please take a seat one week
later hey why are you late this time my
mom's in the hospital what still it's
been a week is she okay yeah she's a
doctor oh great
Heavens ah help stop I can't breathe any
last
words I got birthday money what I'll
hold it for
you oh Heaven oh let go of me help any
last
words dad hit me what I'm not your dad
don't hit my
grandbaby oh great Heaven oh my God
she's hot hey loser don't tell me you
think you have a chance with her if if I
make her fall in love with me you owe me
lunch money for a week okay Bet hi hey
are you smarter than a fifth grader I
think so yeah spell me m e you forgot
the D there's no D in me though not
yet oh
greatens hey son what's up would you
take $10 million $10 million I'm doing
it hold on there's a catch what is it
you get $10 million but a snail is
chasing you for the rest of your life
and if it touches you you die okay the
snail can't die and its only purpose is
to find you wherever you go are you
still taking the money Hey sir how long
does it take a snail to walk a mile a
snail travels at a speed of 03 mph so if
it doesn't stop it was approximately 33
hours to travel 1 mile how many miles is
half the Earth half of the earth is
24,901 Miles how long would it take a
snail to walk that far for a snail to
walk
24,901 Mi it would take 882173212
[Music]
oh email then oh great
Evans oh I can't sleep Dad what's up why
are you still up you got school tomorrow
because there's a scary ugly person in
the closet what are you talking about
Dad I'm being for real there's a scary
ugly person in my closet okay let me go
check what the oh great
Heavens hey son your mom said you got
suspended today I'm sorry what did you
do well I was in my English class and
the teacher said we're going to learn
about tenses and then she said if I'm
beautiful what tense is it in so what
did you say I said the past tense oh
great Heavens that was a good one son
act like you're crying I hope you
learned your lesson I did that I'm so
sorry hey hey sweetie hey Mommy how was
school actually I have good news really
what is it you don't have to buy
textbooks notebooks or any study
materials next year what did you want a
scholarship no my teacher said with how
my grades are looking I will be
repeating the same class oh I should
have made your dad use
protection hey do y'all want to
whooping y'all are being way too loud in
here I need y'all to shut up great
advice can you demonstrate for me how it
[Music]
Works hey what's up son what's up these
are the shoes that you wanted right yeah
those are them but why is there only one
shoe oh yeah your mom can tell you hey
sweetie we noticed you like to do things
halfway what like how you mow the front
yard but not the back and you did half
the dishes and not the other so you
understand understand okay I'll finish
the lawn and the dishes we know you will
did you get some more toilet paper cuz I
ran out oh yeah we got some right here
here you go are you serious bye you want
me to close the door yes
please see
you hey son what's up do you work today
oh crap do I I don't even know I'm going
to go to my job and check the schedule
make sure to take a picture of it dummy
at work work yes I don't work today I
can go home and play my game hey do you
work today nope not today but I wasn't
sure cuz I forgot to take a picture of
the schedule oh well have a good night
thanks you too oh wait what's up Steven
can't make it into work tonight can you
take his oh great
Heavens yo dad what how many numbers are
there on the clock that's so easy 12
nope you're wrong no I'm not yes you are
no a clock goes from 1: to 1200 I asked
you how many numbers does a clock have
exactly and there's only 12 nope well
how many are there guess just tell me no
you have to figure it out oh great
Heavens I should have used
protection yo what up bro I haven't seen
you in forever I know right how you been
good just school and gaining same do you
have a girlfriend yet no do you I have a
crush on a girl in my class nice I have
a crush on my teacher ooh is she hot oh
yeah which school are you going to again
oh I'm homeschooled
oh yo what up bro hey did you tell my
son happy birthday yet it's my son's
birthday what I mean shoot I need to get
him a gift wow I can't believe you
forgot I didn't I was actually going to
ask you if I can give him a doggy you
know what I think he'll love that cool
later that day hey birthday boy he how
was the gift Uncle Fred gave you it was
amazing
nice you okay where's the dog
I didn't get a doggy wait oh great
[Music]
Heavens hey class today you'll introduce
your name and tell us about yourself
starting with you my name is Jack and my
thing is I love to succeed nice okay and
you hi my name is Trisha and I also love
to succeed wow it looks like we're going
to have a great class this year and you
hey my name is SE oh great
Heavens hey class I'll be your
substitute teacher for today wao wo is
right your teacher said y already have a
lot of work to do so I'll let y'all do
that while I'm watching my soccer game I
kind of want to shoot my shot with her I
bet you won't watch
me yes can I get you a soccer jersey why
I really want your name and
number oh great
Heavens holy crap babe your house is
huge I didn't know you had money like
that I owe it to my fans I wouldn't have
this if it wasn't for them dang your car
selection is insane too thank you all
because of my fans that webcam setup
what is it for that's for my work oh
cool wait oh great
[Music]
Heavens mom why does it seem like I'm
invisible um who are you again oh great
Heavens the next day I got my best
friend here and we're going to rap a
song about my mom start it off bro
skir roll up drop that
[Music]
skir you never love me
Mom
but like I said yesterday who are you oh
great Heavens hey nerd don't forget to
do my homework I don't want to oh you
must be hungry for a knuckle sandwich
let's make a bed whoever can make
Angelica like first has to do their
homework for a whole week that sounds
super easy okay nerd let's do it hey
sweet thing hi I love you to the moon
and back want to be mine no your turn
nerd you don't have a chance um can I
tell you something sure I think I need
to cancel my glasses prescription cuz I
can clearly see me and you
together oh
forens why can't you come to to the
party my parents are making me babysit
my brother that sucks it's Halloween I
know but maybe after I put him to sleep
I'll sneak out okay talk to you soon
[Music]
bye what's wrong there's a monster in my
closet bro stop playing around and go to
sleep but there is there's no monster in
here
look there's someone on my
bed
wait
oh great
[Music]
Heavens hey I need to talk to you what
what happened I just found your medical
report which one the one that says you
can't be a father oh I was about to tell
you this when I'm sorry we've been
married for 10 years explain to me right
now or else I'm leaving with the kids
okay but first explain to me how you
still managed to have two kids with me
three kids
oh great never mind
exactly a stop I can't breathe any last
words you see my messy
room yeah so I forgot to clean
it oh hey doctor so how are my test
results everything came out okay but but
what you should probably stop having
kids because tin is already a lot um
okay I'll think about it what did you
name your newborn oh I named him Alex
don't you have another kid named Alex I
named all my 10 kids Alex what who's
going to remember 10
names but what if you want to call one
of them specifically oh then I call them
by their last name oh great can't ah
stop you're not the person I was
expecting any last
words baby daddy number two what another
one package
delivery
oh great grandpa thank you for bringing
me to the park of course grandson hey
old man give me everything oh no
grandpa call the ambulance call the
ambulance huh but not for
me oh great
evens wow I can't believe I can see the
moon right now
[Music]
whoa I can see the Sun at night I
thought it was impossible wait
oh hey class I'll be passing back your
test here you go thanks wait Mr Johnson
yes I think there's been a mistake with
my grade not at all that's what happens
when you don't study do you know who my
father is why did your mother not tell
you I'm sorry sweetie but he's your real
father hey oh great
Heavens hey Dad what's up spell roast
okay r o a s t okay now spell host h o s
t Now spell most m o s t what do you put
in a toaster easy toast really because I
put bread in mine oh son forgot to take
out the chicken oh did he what dang it
hey man is everything okay over here oh
hey officer my wife wants a divorce oh
I'm sorry buddy I know exactly how that
feels but trust me you'll get through it
well since you're an officer can you
arrest her she drinks a lot well I'm
sorry to tell you this but I can't
arrest her just for that but she's not
even 18 yet oh great Heavens you're
getting
arrested
hey I told y'all to stop leaving the
toilet seat up sorry Mom sorry Mommy
y'all drive me
insane keep rolling them maybe you'll
find a brain back
[Music]
there let's go that's my daughter right
there get it
sweetie Yo which one is your daughter
daughter that's my girlfriend oh great
Heavens yo what's up Dad what's up I got
a new girlfriend no way really yeah Bab
come in hello oh hi well you both look
cute together a few moments later yo dad
there's nothing to eat and we're hungry
H oh you should order some pizza good
idea oh my phone died hey babe can I use
your phone to order it yeah sure here
thanks oh cool she has Pizza Hut already
saved on
own wait why are you calling me when I'm
right here wait a minute oh great
Heavens hey y'all know what what day it
is happy birthday Mom Happy Birthday
Mommy well did y'all get me anything I
did here you go what's this jumping
cables yeah because you always like to
start
[Music]
 oh great
hands hey everyone the food is ready I
hope you enjoy it thanks mommy it looks
delicious Daddy can you pass me the salt
please
oh great
Heavens oh great
Heavens I know it's not much but I got
you the PS5 what no way these are hard
to find and they're really expensive you
know I'll do anything for you baby
you're the
best wait but you don't even have a
job and why are you wiping your mouth
like that oh it's nothing babe don't
worry about it and what's that white
stuff on your face don't tell me okay
babe don't worry about how I can afford
it but we have a baby on the way just
shut up and be a good
boy
[Music]
okay this show is so funny I know
right oh shoot it's past my
bedtime yes he doesn't even know maybe
if I stay quiet he won't
know no not the
commercials please don't look at the
time please don't look at the
time what time is it whoa I think it's
past your bedtime buddy really I didn't
even know that's crazy well now you know
go to bed okay good night sweetie good
night mommy 2 hours
later what the what's that
noise oh my gosh oh no Mommy and Daddy
are in in trouble they need my
help don't hurt my mommy and daddy no
don't come
in oh shoot honey please go talk to him
dang it we were just getting to the good
part hey you all right son daddy why did
none of you have any clothes on well you
see son when two people love each other
they like to wrestle oh like WWE I mean
yeah like WWE waa can I play too no heck
no why well you see son that's incest
you can't wrestle with parents or
siblings what's an insect oh my gosh I
can't do this sweetie you just can't
wrestle with parents or siblings it's
just weird okay but mommy yes does that
mean you're weird why would you say that
to your mom well because she wrestles
with Uncle Fred all the time oh great
Heavens emotional oh damn it hey I'm
home hi mommy can I play games on your
phone sure here you go hey honey did you
go do your X-ray yeah I did how'd it go
it went really really good that's
good mommy Ray is calling you Ray wait
oh great
Heavens hey I want to go out right now
what no wait until after school I'm
sorry you don't have a choice are you
serious yeah oh okay well just come out
softly and slowly
okay ew March
farted Miss
Johnson what's wrong Jimmy oh nothing's
wrong but I saw you on the internet last
night the the internet where on the
internet how' you get stuck in a washing
machine Jimmy why why were you looking
at that video how' you get stuck in the
washing machine Miss Johnson there was
space
you could have back out Jimmy why were
you watching that video and then the
dude who came to help you wasn't even
helping Miss Johnson what was he doing
you just had to pull you out like
honestly Miss Johnson I'm not even going
to lie you look stupid like you look
stupid only 5 years old why would you
hey look who it is can you please just
leave me alone for once what's it like
being so ugly what I heard that your
crush would never go out with you cuz
you're so ugly oh yeah don't you eat
your cereal with water water what
because your dad never came home with a
milk oh great screw you
momy hey I'm at work what do you want I
need you okay what do you need Miss call
I said I'm at work Miss call I can't
call right now miss call Miss call Miss
call pick up the phone text me what you
need answer do you know where the peanut
butter is oh great Heavens that's all
you wanted to ask me I've decided your
sentence I hope I get like 5 years it
might be more I sentenced you to eating
without YouTube and Tik Tok oh great
Heavens
no ah help this man's going to end me
any last
words help I'm being bullied what only I
can bully
him oh great heaven
hey I just got done talking to my friend
and her kids are doing good in school
why aren't y'all smart like them maybe
because their mom is a lot smarter than
[Music]
mine hey don't move or she's dead oh
crap hey before we die I just want to
tell you I really like you and I think
you're beautiful a me too you've always
been a good brother to
[Music]
me damn girl I like how you dance best
friend why you moving I'm not
done bye-bye oh great
Heavens hey Dad yes son what is an
alcoholic well it's somebody that drinks
a lot of poison and it tends to mess up
their mind oh like you see those four
cars over there an alcoholic would see
eight but Dad there's only two oh great
Heavens
Mommy stop you're hurting me any last
words what's your name Jack
why oh Mom are you taking me and little
brother to the movies I got called in to
work sweetie your Dad should be able to
take y'all okay hey little bro where's
Dad he's in the other room but he's in a
really bad mood what why what did you do
nothing so why is he in a bad mood then
his doctor told him if he had a
visectomy he wouldn't have no kids so he
did and then when he got home we were
still here oh great
Heavens okay class let's start this
attendance do we have a Jess it's
Jessica then we have Belle Emoji ah it's
Bella with an emoji duh then we have Li
it's Li Liam oh then we probably have
Logan no no no it's normal it's Logan
are you lying no it's Logan finally then
we have Benjamin no it's Benjamin
oh
hey why do y'all always forget to take
the chicken out y'all need to be more
like me because I would never forget
anything what's so funny that's cap you
forget about me almost every day
[Music]
woman yo bro what's wrong I just had a
breakup what dang dude I'm so sorry you
deserve better bro oh they were so good
to me but you're right maybe one day
I'll find someone better you will don't
worry later that day hey I'm
home yo Uncle Fred what happened to you
hey kiddo I'm just going through a
breakup he just wasn't for me dang you
too what a coincidence wait oh great
Heavens I don't trust any of your
friends what's wrong with my friends why
don't you trust them I'll show you let's
call Chris what's the point of this
you'll see
hello hey is Jay with you yeah why he's
not answering his phone can I talk to
him no he's helping my dad fix something
right now hm all right well thank you um
is that all you needed yeah all right
have a good day you too by Chris Point
proven oh great Heavens hey Dad yes I
accidentally crashed your new car you
did
what oh it's okay it was an accident
really yeah you want to go to the
parking play catch sure okay 30 minutes
later dad which Park are we going to
there's a new one nearby just follow me
okay 10 minutes later Dad it's getting
dark I'm kind of scared how do you think
I'll feel walking back alone oh great
Heavens stop oh you're so strong and
handsome that's not going to work any
last
words I got McDonald's what
[Music]
oh whoa whoa what are you doing you're
going too fast mom I'm going 36 on a 35
um do you not see that stop sign coming
up yeah Mom it's still pretty far away I
think you need glasses mom I see it
don't worry well slow down come on
Slowpoke move out the
way
finally
mom be careful there's a stop
sign no cop no stop oh great Heavens ah
there's a guy choking me hell any last
words I bought 20,000 v-bucks without
asking why does that matter I used his
credit
card
oh yo bro who's that who ilila she's the
most popular girl here you don't you
don't have any ribs to get her oh really
watch me don't say I told you so hey hi
you remind me of the 20 letters of the
alphabet um there's 26 letters in the
alphabet oh my bad how could I forget
the u r a QT that was clever but that's
still only 25 letters I'm sorry silly me
you can get the D
later oh great evens
[Music]
wait a minute oh great
Heavens hey Mommy I'm home what
the I'm sorry Mom she needed
help
wait a minute oh great
Heavens yo look brother holy crap that's
a lot bro yeah I know can I give some to
your son sure it's up to you cool 30
minutes
later yo son how much money did Uncle
Fred give you what money he gave me this
oh great Heavens this tastes a little
weird hey son what in the world made you
fail your exams Dad give me a minute
this is serious we're talking about your
grades here I just said give me a
minute I know he's not talking to me
like that please get out I'm trying to
win oh okay sure I got to start the
mission all over because of you the next
day Dad what's up have you seen my game
oh your console yeah I've been looking
for it all over the house I donated it
to the orphanage home you did what but
why so you don't get bored there oh
great
Heavens hey who was on my laptop
watching stuff they weren't supposed to
be watching not me not me either well
since nobody's telling me the truth you
are all grounded Mom it wasn't us the
day you can breathe underwater is the
day I'll believe you well I guess that's
today
[Music]
look hey what's up Dad since you're in
here is it cool if my friend killed
people what heck no you didn't let me
finish my sentence Oh go ahead I meant
characters in his book that I'm helping
him write to make it interesting oh yeah
that would be awesome and cool hey you
heard that right thanks Dad yeah no
problem are y'all writing a cool fiction
book no I'm helping him write his
autobiography oh
[Music]
great yo I bet you $10 you won't make
mom buy you a MC flurry ha okay just
watch how a professional Works can I
have a large coffee please hey Mommy
what can I please have a MC flurry no we
have ice cream at home but we also have
coffee at home fine where is my
$10 oh great
[Music]
heavens
ah daddy mommy where are you not here
any last
words what comes after the letter R what
PG oh greatens hey Dad what's up say
silk three times okay silk silk silk Now
spell silk three times s i l k s i l k s
i l okay say silk four more times silk
silk silk silk what do cows drink easy
milk are you sure because I'm pretty
sure they drink water oh great Heavens
well Dad's going to go get the
milk ah somebody somebody please help
any last
words I left the toilet seat up okay
so oh great Heavens hey Dad Dad what's
up if a plane was flying through the
Pacific and it crashed where would you
bury the survivors oh I would find an
island nearby and bury them there you
would bury the survivors yeah I will dig
them all a nice little grave the
survivors yes the survivors where else
am I going to bury then Dad are you sure
you finished school cuz the survivors
are still alive oh great you grounded no
phone and no
game hey Dad what's up son I got
detention at school today what your
grand SED what did you do well my
geography teacher asked the class what
nation is her husband in okay what did
you say that made her mad I said her
imagination you're
ungrounded yo what's up hey how are you
man you've grown up so big now I know
right how's life it's been chill how's
your girlfriend uh I don't have one yet
I already knew that dummy I was just
reminding you oh I see how's your
parents doing
oh screw
you yo what's up bro thanks for letting
me come over yeah no problem Oh and why
didn't you tell me that you were dating
twins oh you heard about that already
yeah everyone is talking about it at
school that's crazy quick question how
do you know who's who oh that's easy
Stephanie has a piercing on her nose oh
okay and Steve has has a huge you know
what wait oh
great hey what did you eat all my Oreos
um no mom said you did well Mom's a liar
just admit that you ate them no why not
because I hate you you're the reason mom
and dad are divorced oh great Heavens
that was
mean okay I'll buy you McDonald's okay I
love you hey son what's up what
four-letter word begins with f and ends
with K and if you can't get it you can
always use your hands what come on son
you know no dad I don't yeah you do it
starts with f and ends with k um I don't
know Dad come on you're going to be
doing it with me Mom and Uncle friend
tonight oh no dad not again where are
you going the answer was
Fork ah that hurt a few moments later
okay Dad I'm done with the shower you
can use it now did you yell in the
shower yeah you okay I'm okay the soap
just fell on my foot and it was hurting
oh I've been there before it's way more
painful in prison dang really wait oh
great
Heavens hey nephew what's wrong you
scared my bad but why the sad face
there's this cute girl at school but I
don't know what to say oo I know tell
her
this will that work it worked on your
mom I mean some hot moms the next day
hey Mia
hi I accidentally bought Black Sheets
want to make them
white hey what did I do I promised I
didn't do anything this time I'm sorry
to tell you this but your parents were
in an accident and didn't make it what
no a couple days
later
oh hey
sweetie Mom where's Dad he didn't come
no wait a minute
[Music]
oh what you looking at I got the most
cutest boyfriend ever oh really yeah
look if you think that's cute you should
see my boyfriend oh is he cute too he's
an optician oh great
Heavens ah he's choking me help any last
words ah brother hit me what I'm not
your
[Music]
brother hey why aren't you hanging out
with your friends today I just feel like
chilling today chilling you've been in
the house all day you're way too young
for that go have fun with your friends
but I don't feel like going anywhere I
don't want to hear it go oh fine a
couple days later all right Mama I'm
leaving hold on leaving where to hang
out with my friends Oh no you're not I
haven't seen you all week but you told
me I need to get out the house more no
no no I didn't mean every night only
once in the blue moon this is your last
time go have fun oh great heav hey guys
this is my boyfriend what's
[Music]
up oh great Heaven ah please stop I'll
give you my wife I'm good any last words
son I'm about to press the letter P on
your laptop what are you talking
about oh oh this sexy guy is choking me
not going to work any Last
Words My husband's not home what I know
he's
not oh great
Heavens what the ah who are you stop any
last words words Mom Dad help
me I don't know who he is you can take
him oh great evens hey I thought I told
y'all to do y'all's
homework why are y'all playing the game
well it's the same reason why you wear
makeup every day why to escape
[Music]
reality
back it
up back it
[Music]
up back it up back it
[Music]
up hey you and Lisa killed that Lisa
who's Lisa I can explain it's over bye
oh great heavens my
bad please
stop any last
words you can come out from under my bed
wait
[Music]
what yo dad why did you call me Netflix
we named you after things we like to
watch oh so you like watching Amazon
Prime I do son but it's not my favorite
well what's your favorite thing to watch
well me and your mom named your sister
after that that oh
greatens hey Dad what's up does daddy
and father mean the same thing uh yeah I
think so thanks I was just making sure
at
church amen I love you Daddy oh great
Heavens oh great Heavens oh great
Heavens if you don't let me play I'm
going to tell mom your mom yeah you mean
my mom right what do you mean she's my
mom too dang he doesn't know stop I'm
going to tell Dad you mean my dad right
what hey what's going on here Dad am I
adopted of course not yay I knew it just
kidding we're still looking for someone
that wants you
oh
[Music]
emotional do you know why I pulled you
over uh because I was at the stop sign
for too long yeah why were you just
sitting there I was just waiting for it
to turn green well that's better than
going through it where you headed home
okay where do you live with my parents
okay where do your parents live uh they
live with me okay where do you all live
we all live together okay so where's
your house it's next to my neighbor's
house and where's your neighbor's house
you wouldn't believe me if I told you
try me next to my house oh
[Music]
greatens you have been accused for
murder and I hereby sentence you to 70
years in prison no wa really I'll take
it may God have mercy upon you later
that day wow that homeless guy today was
crazy wait a minute oh
[Music]
great yo son yeah what's up I just got
done talking to your principal and they
canceled school tomorrow why what
happened I'm sorry to tell you this but
I think your math teacher died or
something wow they found in the body
already I guess wait oh great
Heavens bro my parents are so mad at me
why because I got this PS5 for my little
brother what but why would they be mad
that's so nice of you that's what I'm
saying it was the best trait I've ever
made oh great
heavens
hey Mommy what's up sweetie dad's in the
bathroom watching that weird website
again of people wrestling naked what
honey I guess you want to meet MJ huh
honey
[Music]
what sorry sweetie your dad won't be
doing that again thanks mommy the next
day yo what's up brother can I have a
hug no okay well well well if it isn't
Mr loser where is my money I have it let
me just get it out of my pocket hold on
do we have a
problem no we're good thought so now
run thanks brother I got you later at
home hey which one of you stole my
money mommy yes it was I did it I
thought so now follow me to my room okay
thank you I got you bro say hi to MJ for
me
what
[Music]
dang it is there a problem officer yeah
you were speeding oh okay can I see your
license I would but I don't have one
what I lost it a few years ago drunk
driving okay well can I have your
vehicle registration papers please I can
why not I stole this car you stole this
car yeah and I killed the owner I need
backup sir can I get you to step out of
the vehicle please why is there a
problem one of my officers said you
stole this car and murder the owner
murdered the owner yes can you please
open the trunk yeah of course hm I
didn't see anything is this your car
yeah here are the registration papers my
officer said you don't have a license
here it is my officer said you didn't
have a license stole the car and
murdered the owner I bet that liar said
I was speeding too hey what are y'all
doing we're just watching TV yeah Mommy
y'all need to stop watching TV so much
and read more okay y'all heard her let's
put the subtitles
on
hi who are you oh I'm your sister's
boyfriend she told me the door was
unlocked OMG hi it's nice to meet you my
sister talks about you all the time
really yeah she really loves you she
wants to marry you wow I didn't know she
felt that way well I'm so glad to
finally meet you Brad but my name is
Mark oh oh great
heavens
hey it's y'all's bedtime y'all have
school tomorrow school sucks yeah can we
just not go to school anymore no it's
against the law they would put me to
jail don't worry I'll visit
[Music]
you hey Dad what I bet you five bucks I
can make you say no easy five bucks
let's do it okay there are three doors
red green yellow which door are you
going in um the red one ah dang it okay
in the red door you see three fruits
Apple orange and banana which one would
you eat orange nah nah nah you know this
trick huh no I actually don't know give
me my
money oh great
heavans hey Dad do you think you can
beat Siri in a roast Battle of course I
got some good roast up my sleeve okay
prove it hey Siri yo Mama's dumb she
tried climbing Mountain Dew your mama's
so dumb she went to the eye doctor to
buy an iPhone oh great Heavens your mom
is so dumb she bought tickets to Xbox
Live your mom is so dumb she cut open a
pineapple and said SpongeBob where are
you oh your mom is so dumb that she put
a battery in water to make an energy
drink your mom is so dumb she sued Xbox
One for guessing her IQ your mom is so
dumb she thinks gluteus maximus was a
Roman Emperor oh great Heavens wait I
didn't go yet yeah your mom is so dumb I
peed in the snow and she picked it up
and thought it was a snow cone oh great
Heavens wait you can pee your mom is so
dumb I asked her to count from 1 to 40
she counted 1 to 40 oh okay okay I give
up emotional
damage hi hi so what brought you here so
everyone in my family is like no don't
get a tattoo they're painful expensive
and permanent and you might get addicted
and want another one okay but then they
also tell me that I should have kids oh
great Heavens you have a good point
thank you Dad I just won a million what
we're going to be rich I knew you
weren't a mistake who's we I mean yes
we're going to be rich babe do you want
a glass of wine for celebration sure why
not 2 minutes later let me add some
poison cuz that million is all mine oh
yeah and I have to abandon my son here
you go honey thanks
babe
what's in this yes now I'm rich mommy
what happened to Dad oh nothing sweetie
he's just taking a nap yay I won another
million coins this game is so easy oh it
was a game yeah
why hey Mommy yes sweetie I drew a
picture of our family oh wow good job
son thank you I'll hang it on the fridge
for your dad to see when he gets home
from work
okay hey I'm home
man I'm hungry what's
this oh great Heavens hey honey if you
could cheat on me with anybody in the
world who would it be won't you be mad
not at all I'll give you a pass well if
that's the case I'll say Beyonce if
beyon wants to do it you won't get mad I
won't you're such an amazing wife who's
yours hm anybody in the world yeah I'll
say Chris Chris like Chris from your job
yeah why not you like Beyonce and I like
Chris that's not fair yes it is you got
one I got one it's fair but mine is
Beyonce when am I going to meet Beyonce
I don't know but I do know I have to go
to work bye oh great Heavens
bye