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Be Rich: Four To Get Married (Ephesians 5:22-33) | Warren Wiersbe Sermons | Warren Wiersbe | YouTubeToText
YouTube Transcript: Be Rich: Four To Get Married (Ephesians 5:22-33) | Warren Wiersbe Sermons
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Summary
Core Theme
A truly happy and fulfilling marriage requires the active involvement of four key individuals: Jesus Christ, a loving husband, a submissive wife, and the empowering Holy Spirit, all operating within God's ordained order.
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we're reading today from Ephesians chapter
chapter
5 and I'm going to begin back with Verse
18 and read through the end of the
chapter in the past several years more
books have been published on
marriage than perhaps on many other
subjects and yet here in a few brief
sentences God tells us the secret of a happy
happy
home Ephesians 5:18 and be not drunk
with wine in which is
excess but be filled with the spirit
speaking to yourselves in Psalms and
hymns and spiritual songs singing and
making melody in your heart to the Lord
giving thanks always for all things unto
God and the father in the name of our
Lord Jesus Jesus Christ submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of
God wives submit yourselves unto your
own husbands as unto the Lord for the
husband is the head of the wife even as
Christ is the head of the church and he
is the savior of the
body therefore as the church is subject
unto Christ so let the wives be to their
own husbands in
everything husbands love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it that he might sanctify
and cleanse it with the washing of Water
by the word that he might present it to
himself a glorious church not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing but
that it should be holy and with without
blemish so ought men to love their wives
as their own
bodies he that loveth his wife loveth
himself for no man ever yet hated his
own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it
even as the Lord the church for we are
members of his body of his flesh and of his
his
bones for this cause shall a man leave
his father father and mother and shall
be joined unto his wife and they too
shall be one
flesh this is a great mystery but I
speak concerning Christ and the church
nevertheless let every one of you in
particular so love his wife even as
himself and the wife see that she
reverence her
husband and May theol Holy Spirit help
us to obey this
word a skeptic who must have had his
heart broken at some time or
another defined a
wedding as a funeral where you smell
your own
flowers now the millions of people who
are happily married would chuckle at
that but not agree with
it but then some who have had difficult
ulty might say yes he has hit the nail
on the
head it's unfortunate that our United
States of
America a so-called Christian Nation
leads the world in the number of divorces
divorces
annually down in the Chicago Civic
Center 14 courts on a busy day will
handle 200 divorce
cases I'm glad that the word of God has
a message for everyone when it comes to
this matter of
marriage whether you are single and
contemplating marriage or single and not
interested in
marriage whether you have been
disappointed in marriage or delighted in
marriage each of us comes in contact
with this gift of God at some point or
another if it's not our own home it's
somebody else's a friend or or a
relative and we're privileged here at
the Moody Church to minister to hundreds
and hundreds of single young
adults and so it's good for us to come
to Ephesians 5 Verse 18 and discuss this
marriage those of you who have never had the
the traumatic
traumatic
experience of a
up need to have compassion and
tenderness for those who
have our Lord
should now Paul tells us that God wants
us to be happily
married after all God invented marriage
and he wants his invention to
work God has more at stake perhaps than we
we
do when God devised marriage it was for
as the ceremony tells us the blessing
and benefit of
mankind the one thing that was not good
in creation was it is not good for the
man to be
alone God looked upon his world and said
everything is very good but one thing is
not good this man is alone and so he
gave him a
wife and God established marriage for
the blessing and the benefit of
mankind unfortunately some marriage
mares have not been a blessing they've
been a cursing they've not brought
benefit they have brought
burdens no matter where you may be in this
this marital
marital
program I trust you'll heed what Paul
says here to put it very simply Paul
says for a marriage to be happy and
rewarding and
creative four persons must be involved
you say but Pastor it just takes two to get
get married
married
mother no it takes four to get
married and Paul tells us who these four persons
persons
are the Lord Jesus
Christ the loving
husband the submissive wife
and the empowering Holy
Spirit these are the four persons who
must be involved in every marriage if
it's going to be happy the first person
is our Lord Jesus Christ you noticed as
I was reading Ephesians chap 5 how often
the Lord is mentioned verse 22 as unto
the Lord verse 23 even as Christ verse
24 as the church is subject to Christ
verse 25 as Christ loved the church
verse 26 that he might sanctify verse 27
that he might
present verse 29 even as the Lord the
church the whole emphasis here you see
is on Jesus Christ in fact verse 32 puts
it very plainly this is a great mystery
meaning a secret A Spiritual Secret but
I speak concerning Christ and the
church if you start your marriage
without the Lord Jesus Christ you don't
have much of a chance for
Success now Paul tells us that Jesus
Christ blesses our homes in three ways
first he is the savior verse 23 he's the
savior of the body secondly he is the
Lord verse 22 as unto the Lord verse 25
he is the example as Christ also loved
the church so when you move into
marriage the first person who must be
involved is Jesus Christ as the Savior
the Lord and the example let's begin
with the
Savior there are multitudes of unsaved
people who have very happy homes they
would have much happier homes I think if
they had the Lord Jesus there but some
of these unsaved friends put Christian
people to
shame they don't argue they don't fight
their home is not an armed camp where
they have dug fox holes and erected
barricades their homes are happy and
loving even without the Lord Jesus and
you would think that those of us who
know Christ as our savior would have
homes that would be even more happy and more
more
wonderful you see marriage begins with
Jesus Christ as the Savior that means
you don't marry somebody who's not a Christian
Christian
now I've heard all of the
arguments but I still have to stay true
to the word of God that says be not
unequally yolked together with
unbelievers it's a difficult thing for a
pastor to say to a couple that loves
each other look I I'm sorry you you
really shouldn't get married because one
of you is not a Christian and you say at
this point but Pastor these are modern
days yes and modern days have
old-fashioned sins
Christian girls marry a Christian
boy and Christian boys marry a Christian
girl your wedding begins with Jesus as the
the
savior in John Chapter 2 our Lord
performed his first miracle at a wedding
somebody was smart enough to invite
Jesus to that wedding and he made all
the difference between success and
failure Jesus Christ comes not only as
the savor avior but he comes as the Lord
wives submit yourselves unto your own
husbands as unto the Lord he wants to be
the lord of the home this means you
shouldn't get married unless you're
willing to submit to what the Bible has
to say the lordship of Jesus Christ just
simply means you speak God and we
obey he is the Lord L now I visit
bookstores regularly I read many
magazines that review books we have had
a regular epidemic of books on
marriage the basic problem in the Christian
Christian
home is the lordship of Jesus Christ if
you have a husband who's not submitted
to the lordship of Christ and a wife who
is you're going to have
trouble if I put my two hands together
and if I move them in opposite
directions if one goes forward and one
goes backward we have
friction and friction means two people
aren't going in the same direction and I
don't know how many times in the
counseling Ministry husbands have had to
confess well Pastor Jesus is not the
Lord of my home he's not the Lord of my
life don't get married unless you want
the lordship of Jesus Christ he is the
savior and he is the Lord and He is the
example in verse 25 even as Christ also
loved the church I don't know where you
get your example for marriage if you get
it from Hollywood instead of from Heaven
you're in for trouble if you get it from
television instead of from Revelation
you're in trouble Jesus Christ is the
example so that as a husband I should
look to Christ as my example a wife
should look to Christ as her example and
we as parents should show to our
children that Jesus is the example now
how does a home stay in touch with the
example of Jesus Christ and the lordship
of Jesus Christ through the word of God In
In
Prayer it's amazing how many husbands
and wives don't pray
together so many times when they come in
with a problem you'll say well tell me
now do you two pray together no did you
pray together when you were dating no no
after you got engaged did you pray no
well how do you invite the lordship of
Jesus Christ into your marriage if you
don't pray together if you don't spend
time in the word together the first
person necessary for a happy home is the
Lord Jesus Christ now have having said
that let me say
this just because two people are saved
doesn't mean their home is going to be
successful it takes more than that you
say Pastor you're a heretic then I'm an honest
honest
heretic you'd be amazed at the mortality
rate of
marriages among students who meet at Christian
Schools it's unfortunate I'm sorry about
it it takes more than two people being
saved to have a happy marriage just
because a fell is saved and a girl is
saved and neither one of them is married
doesn't mean they should get
married God doesn't want everybody to
get married Jesus said so he said there
are some people who from birth are not
supposed to get married there are some
who because of circumstances aren't
supposed to be married there are some
who have deliberately said like Paul I
will remain single for the work of the
Lord not everyone's supposed to be
married I know the first three letters
in single are s i n but that doesn't
mean it's a sin to be
single I would rather have you living in
single loneliness in the will of God
than married cussedness out of the will of
of
God the second person involved is a loving
loving
husband husbands love your
wives now he tells us what kind of love
this is and I want you men to know that
this is one of the greatest demands that
can be made upon
you don't take this matter of love for
granted Paul tells us there are four
characteristics of a spiritual husband's
love for his wife number one it is a separated
love he tells us in verse 31
for this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother and be joined to his
wife and that verb joined in the Greek is
is
glued he shall be glued to his wife
which means my friend you're [Music]
stuck you see marriage involves leaving and
and
cleaving now Adam didn't have any mother
and father to leave nor did Eve but Adam
said this prophetically he says from now
on when God brings a man and woman
together he leaves his father and mother
he Cleaves to his wife they make a
covenant together which is called
marriage nowhere in the Bible do you
find marriage apart from a
covenant there is an
agreement I was uh driving into church
the other day and heard a radio program
I phon own the station to get a tape or
a copy of the script and so far haven't
gotten it but I thought I heard a man
over the radio advocating trial
marriages you know here are these two
people and they think they want to get
married so let's live together for a
while to see whether or not it's going
to work and if it doesn't work we can
break up I'll guarantee it won't
work because there has to be
commitment when a person joins his life
with another person he makes a
commitment he leaves father and mother
he leaves them physically he leaves them
financially he leaves them emotionally
he still loves
them after all he'll need them for [Music]
[Music]
babysitters now let me say a word to you
young ladies don't you marry some fellow
who's not emotionally mature enough to leave
leave
home and I say to you girls and to you
fellas don't you marry some girl who not
emotionally mature enough to leave home
nothing can cause more trouble in a home
than being married to three people at one
one
time and so it is a separated love you
come to the point where you say we are
going to devote ourselves to each other
we're going to build a fence around
ourselves and in building a fence around
ourselves we're not building a
prison we are protecting This Love that
God's given to us it's a separated
love I notice in verse 25 it's a
sacrificial love husbands love your
wives how
much even as Christ also loved the
church and gave himself for it girls
don't you marry a fellow who doesn't
love you enough to give himself for
you you don't meas Your
Love except by
Calvary and when I can look up to God
which I cannot do yet I'm afraid and say
you know I love as much as Jesus loved
me I've got a long way to go yet but
this is the measure it has to be a
sacrificial love it means an attitude of
service an attitude of giving it means
that when a man says to a woman I love
you he's going to work for her he's
going to protect her he's going to if
necessary die for
her and by the way no woman has a hard
time submitting to that kind of
love all the feminists
notwithstanding and so it's a separated
love and it's a sacrificial love I
notice in verses 26 and 27 it's a sanctifying
sanctifying
love because a Christian man loves a
Christian woman she becomes a better
Christian because of him what does the
Lord do for the church he washes the
church he cleanses the church he does it
through the word this is why you don't
want to marry an unsaved fellow he can't
take the word word of God and nourish
the family he can't apply the truths of
the word of God in the
home because he doesn't know the word of
God he doesn't know the god of the word
the love that God wants a husband to
have for a wife it's a sanctifying love
now I say this cautiously but in this
pulpit and anywhere else I have to be
honest it's unfortunate that some
Christian husbands are destroying their
wives there isn't that sacrificial love
that says I will give to you they are
saying you do this or
else there isn't that tender Ministry of
the word of God where two people can pray
pray
together it's
unfortunate and you know what happens
children grow up in those homes and when
they get old enough they turn their
backs on the
Lord and then someone says the church
has failed the church has failed during
my years in Youth for Christ I got so
tired of hearing the church has failed
the church is made up of people and
families now if the church has failed
I'd like to know who has succeeded
because we have a lot of young people
around here who really love the Lord who
some of our Christian homes where there
is a father who doesn't have sacrificial sanctifying
sanctifying
God I notice also in verses 28 through3
it's a satisfying love his love for her is
is
nourishment notice verse 29 no man ever
yet hated his own flesh he nourished
and cherishes it even as the Lord the
church the love that a man has for a
woman should be a nourishing love here
me love is the emotional and spiritual
family simply because we put food on the
table doesn't mean we've done our job
man there ought to be such an atmosphere
in our homes that our children become
themselves and they grow grow up and
they're nourished on love I like that
word cherished that's a beautiful little
word you know what that little word
heat that's the home is there some
hardness in the home you soften it by
heat you remember the story about the
man who was who was wearing the heavy
cloak and the wind and the sun had an
argument and the wind said watch me I'll
make him take off that cloak and the
wind wind began to blow and the more the
wind blew the more the man put the cloak
around his neck the sun said watch
me and the sun just began to beat down
upon that man and the warmth made him
take the cloak
off this is the kind of love I'm
supposed to have in my
home a satisfying love so that the wife
and the children are nourished and
cherished and so the seed that's planted
secret when a woman is satisfied with
that kind of love she doesn't want anybody
anybody
else when a man is nourished with that
kind of love he doesn't want anybody
else when children detect this kind of
love they want to be home they want to
bring their friends
home so the second person who is
essential for a happy marriage is a loving
loving
husband and I'll tell you man this is a big
big
order you singles who are here
today if you're a single man don't you
marry a girl until you can give that
kind of
love separated love and sacrificial love
and sanctifying
love and satisfying
love and girls don't you marry a fellow
until you know he can do
that which leads to the third person
involved in a happy marriage that's a
submissive wife verses 22- 24 and then verse
verse
33 this word submission is not like
today we live in an era of
rebellion we we live at a time when um
the end thing is to be a rebel to Listen
to A Different Drummer to do your own
thing well I'm glad my body doesn't
function like that I'm glad my body experiences
experiences
submission my head controls my
body and Paul is saying to the women
here now look you have a husband who
loves you it's it's a it's a separated
love and it's a sanctifying love and
it's a satisfying love and it's a sacrificial
sacrificial
love submit to him now submission does
not mean
subjugation where did people ever get
the idea that order means
inferiority it
doesn't there is no inferiority to order
I was not in the armed forces my
brothers were in the Marine Corps
because a man man is a buck private and
not a general is he inferior to the
general no
no as a person he may be superior to the
general there has to be order in this
world if there isn't order there's
chaos and my Bible says God is not the
author of
confusion then where's all this
confusion coming from we've got in the
world today where the schools are run by
instructors where's all this confusion
coming from it's coming from Rebellion
against the order of God you see God has
made a certain headship in this world he
says to the women wives don't submit to
every man he's not saying that at all
he's not saying now wives you can't be
the president of the firm because you're
a woman no there's no such thing as
inferiority or sub gation or
slavery all he's simply saying is there
are two reasons
why the wife is to be submissive to her
husband number one the lordship of
Christ and number two the headship of
the man verse 22 the lordship of Christ
submit yourselves unto your own husbands
as unto the Lord now get this if the
husband is submitted to the Lord and if
the wife is sub submitted to the Lord
and as it says in verse 21 submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of
conflict but if you've got a husband who
is a dictator who doesn't know the
difference between headship and
dictatorship or if you have a wife who's
just been hurt so much she's tired of
being hurt and so she stands up to fight
then you got
trouble but in this atmosphere spere of
love under the lordship of Jesus Christ
I can't conceive of a Christian woman
woman wanting to do anything
other than to say to the Lord as Mary
did behold the handmade of the Lord be
it unto me according to your word Lord
run my life and saying to her husband I
love you and you love me and we're going
to submit to God and I submit to you now
girls if you're unwilling to submit
don't get
married just don't get married and if
that man you're engaged to doesn't have
the kind of spiritual maturity and
Christian love that makes it
safe for you to submit don't get married
get the problem settled before you walk
down the aisle you see he's talking here about
about
maturity it's a serious thing for
someone to submit to me that is
serious I had better be the kind of a
person so that when she does submit this
releases her it doesn't enslave her
submission does not mean bondage it
means Liberty the wife is fulfilling her
Ministry the husband is fulfilling his
ministry there is an atmosphere of
love and both [Music]
[Music]
grow you don't find this in in many homes
I can't prove this statistically but uh
25 years of
ministry convinces
me that 40 or 50% of our Christian homes
they already have emotional divorces if
not legal
ones they're just staying together long
enough until the kids grow up when the
kids graduate that's it or they just
stay together long enough
for Testimony sake but they aren't
enjoying their marriage they're enduring
it and so if a marriage is to be the
creative experience it ought to be there
has to be first the Lord Jesus Christ
Christ
secondly a loving husband thirdly a
submissive wife on the lordship of
Christ and the headship of the man now I
didn't write verse 23 God
did the husband is the head of the wife
even as Christ is the head of the church
and he's the savior of the
body just as the Lord Jesus as the head
of the church ministers to the body and
the body submits he says this down here
as the church is submissive to Christ verse
verse
24 as the church is subject to Christ so
let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything now everything obviously
doesn't mean anything out side God's
will if a husband asked a wife to commit
murder she shouldn't
submit we ought to obey God rather than
man if a husband says to his wife we're
going to go out and do some swapping she
won't submit no Christian ought ever to
violate his conscience and the word of
God but you can't conceive of a
Christian husband asking a wife to do
anything out of the will of God and so
submission is simply to the lordship of
Christ and the headship of the man
somebody has to be the
leader and God has ordained that the man
dictator God has given to Christian husbands
husbands
Authority they are to use that authority
to build up the home they do not use the
Authority any husband who uses his wife
to show people what a boss he
is has forfeited his
rights as a Christian
husband no man ever uses a woman or
immaturity and so a submissive wife and
girls I say this to you when you submit
to this kind of a husband and to this
kind of a lord it brings out the best in
you there is fulfillment and enrichment
and growth and excitement problems yes
but oh in the midst of all of this there
is the accomplishing of the will of God
and the closest thing to heaven on Earth
is this kind of a Christian
home now at this point I am saying to
myself and to the Lord this is a pretty tough
tough
assignment I'm to love as Christ loved the
the
church and the woman says I'm to submit
Christ well this brings the fourth
person into the picture the Holy Spirit
you see all of these
exhortations are hinged on Verse 18 be
filled with the spirit and if you're
filled with the Holy Spirit as we saw a
week ago you will know it because there
are three evidences vers verse 19 you'll
be joyful verse 20 you'll be thankful
verse 21 you'll be submissive wives
submit husbands love children obey you
see how it all hangs together the
missing person in most Christian homes
is the holy spirit now there's a spirit
in Christian homes but it's not the holy
spirit it's a worldly
spirit this is why you've got to be so
careful what comes over the radio what
goes in the magazine rack what comes
over over the TV screen what goes on the library
library
shell we've got to be so careful about
these things don't invite the spirit of
the world into your home because the
spirit of the world will
destroy invite the spirit of Christ into
the home now how do you know whether a
home is Spirit-filled be filled with the
spirit well it'll be a joyful place you
won't have to go out and buy cheap
entertainment there will be joy in the
home differences of course problems to
be sure but there'll be joy in the home
there'll be thankfulness in the
home you'll have a husband who's
thankful and he's even thankful for
leftovers Peter Marshall sat down to
lunch one day and Catherine had prepared
some leftovers and he looked at them and
said Katherine the Lord knows I'm not
thankful for this you say the [Music]
[Music]
blessing you see a woman who lives with
a griping man always griping or griping children
children
always complaining but when the Holy
Spirit is filling the home you're joyful
and you're thankful and you're
submissive and nobody says well that's
not my job well let him do that
no no you wake up in the morning and you
say what can I do to make this home a
happy home how can I make my wife happy
how can I make my husband happy how can
we make our parents happy how can we
make the Lord happy you see the holy
spirit is the missing person in many
Christian homes I I visit in homes and
some homes you walk in and the
atmosphere is just supercharged with the
holy spirit it's a joyful home and it's
a thankful home and oh there's a
sweetness and a
lubrication there's some homes you get
into and you feel like going out and
getting a bulletproof
vest I'm sorry and they're Christian
homes and so I say this to you and I say
this to myself as a father and as a as a
husband I preach to myself to today
there are four essential persons in a
happy Christian Home the Lord Jesus
Christ he's the Savior he's the Lord and
he's the example now don't start your
marriage without him a loving
husband not just romance not just
infatuation a loving husband a Christian
husband a submissive wife not slavery
not subjugation not not
incarceration but sweet precious
submission to the Lord and to the
husband and the Holy Spirit of God empowering
empowering
us you see if we don't begin our day
with the Lord and let the Holy Spirit
take over things won't go right in the
home husband Christian husband if you're
not spending time every day reading your
Bible and praying you are in the process
of wrecking your home oh you say it
can't happen to me it's happened to
other people Christian wife if you're
too busy to spend time in this
book and spend time to pray and husband
and wife if if it's some time you don't
pray together the Holy Spirit can't work
in the home and Christian children if
you're not having your devotional time
if you're not spending time in your home
reading the word of God and praying
you're a part of the problem not a part
of the
answer but the the Holy Spirit waits to
move in the Holy Spirit wants to make
our home a temple a tabernacle he wants
to bring the glory of God into the home
so when people come in they say you know
I enjoy being it's a great place to be
what have you folks got it's not the
furniture that's early Salvation Army
furniture what is it oh we've got the
Lord in our home when we got married we
invited Jesus to our home you know what
happened we handed him a bunch of empty
pots full of water and he turned that
water into to wine and that was the
beginning of Miracles it's been one
Miracle after another ever
since that's the kind of home you want
that's the kind of home we can
have if we let the Holy Spirit have his
way now some of you don't even know
Jesus as your savior Paul said I'm
talking about the mystery of Christ in
the church Jesus came down here and died
for his
bride oh he came and bore upon his body
all of the filth of the world that he
might claim his bride but you've never
trusted Christ and you could trust him
you could receive him today and let him
move into your life and then let him
change your heart and change your home
and make it all that he wants it to
be let's pray
together we're thankful father that you
have told us here how we can make our
homes temples of God where there's joy and
and
testimony and Liberty and growth and
maturity oh how thankful we are for all
of this Lord we need the Holy Spirit we
pray that the holy spirit of God will
help us to love as we ought to love and
submit as we ought to submit and to obey
and work together as we ought to I pray
for any who are having difficulties Lord
that you'll help them to do what you've
told them to do cleanse our homes take
from us all bitterness and Wrath wrath
and all the things that can grieve the
spirit of God oh God purify our hearts
and our homes that our children as they
grow up may glorify Christ and be used
for his praise and his
honor we ask it in jesus'
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